If you've already bought a box of valentines to give out to your friends, dump it in the trash and set the entire thing on fire, because there's only one type of valentine that's okay to hand to your special chum this year and it's the one that has a picture of Katy Perry's dancing shark on it. All other cards exit to…
Here's a tale that will make you think maybe home schooling wouldn't be so terrible after all: A fifth-grade teacher in Queens, New York is in trouble for having her students write holiday cards to her boyfriend—who happens to be in prison and has a record of being into kiddie porn.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I love you and can't live without you, but always remember that I can destroy you whenever I feel like it.
Happy Valentine's Day!