• ZOMG Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie partied past one am in Cannes! He drank Bailey's! She drank vodka! He had his hand on her leg! They laughed and whispered in each other's ears! [People]
• Brad Pitt says:

"I am in love and I have the most beautiful family  what else can a guy want?" It's almost like In Touch was wrong! [Mirror]

• Someone in Cannes paid $25,000 for a kiss from Robert Pattinson. For that price, some of the sparkles had better rub off. Oh, the money went to AmFar. [Page Six]
• Guess who lost her BlackBerry in Cannes? Paris Hilton. The Daily Fail prints pictures of her drunkenly straddling Doug Whatshisname so you get the impression that she was too busy grinding to keep tabs on her phone. [Daily Mail]
• When getting takeout, Owen Wilson doesn't wait on line with the plebes, he walks straight into the kitchen. [Page Six]
• Jay-Z has left Def Jam records, the label which issued his biggest hits. He went from artist on Def Jam to president of Def Jam and back to artist again, and now, like Madonna, he has a deal with Live Nation. [Crain's]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says Matthew Broderick is reacting strongly to the intense media attention and threats their surrogate is receiving: "He's furious. He's angry." [People]
• Alec Baldwin has penned am essay praising documentary filmmaking. "If you want to see something off the crash-bang-boom thrill ride that Hollywood promises each year, don't rule out documentaries." [WSJ]
• Trudie Styler has written a missive titled "It Is Not Hypocritical To Fly If I'm Campaigning For The Environment." Subtitle: "There's no way I could raise millions for the rainforest if I only travelled by boat or train." [Guardian]
• Patrick Swayze: Releasing a memoir in the fall. [UPI]
• Boo. Rihanna and Aubrey "Drake" Graham are just friends. Boo. The man who was Jimmy on Degrassi told a radio station: "I have the most utmost respect for her. I think she's so talented. I'm being honest- - [She's] just a friend that's all." Although even if they were seen kissing, that doesn't mean it's serious, or that either of them would admit it. [People]
• 90210's AnnaLynne McCord and Twilight's Kellan Lutz: It's on. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle would be "perfectly happy" with a reality show, says a source. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The woman who choked Terri Seymour after American Idol on Tuesday night was getting revenge for Paula Abdul. Janice Thibodeaux tells Radar Online, "I wasn't cool with Simon Cowell choking Paula Abdul on the show last week and with her crying-out 'help' as he did so. Nobody said anything about that so I wanted to confront him about it because that is not appropriate behavior, is it?" Um, no, but does that mean you should do it? Thibodeaux continues: "[Terri] was taking some photographs with her camera and I knew she was his girlfriend so I went up to her to tell her how I felt. We started arguing and then I put my hands around her neck and started choking her just like Simon had done with Paula. Then I walked away and I was tackled by the police but I don't regret what I did because of what Simon did to Paula, nobody seemed to care about that." Okay, now we're forced to point to our ear and make a swirly motion. You know what that means. [Rolling Stone via Radar Online]
• Scarlett Johansson and Pete Yorn have recorded a collection of duets, on an album called Break Up. [USA Today]
• Katie Holmes will perform in Sunday's 20th anniversary National Memorial Day Concert broadcast from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol. She'll play the sister of an Iraq war vet. Tom and Suri will be watching. [USA Today]
• Wow: Natalie Cole's kidney came from a deceased fan. Cole has been on a long list, and was always looking for donors, and, a spokesperson says, "Having heard of Ms. Cole's need for a kidney, the family asked that one of their loved one's kidneys be transplanted to Ms. Cole if they were a match." [CNN]
• Ugh, sad: While Natalie Cole was undergoing transplant surgery, her older sister died of cancer. [Page Six]
• Breaking news: "Kim Kardashian Is Getting Ready for Bikini Season." [People]
• Mike Judge's new show, The Goode Family, mocks environmentalists and vegetarians. [WSJ]
• Ben Stiller has two films coming out this weekend: he stars in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, but he exec-produced a small documentary, The Boys, about brother songwriters famous for their Disney tunes. [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson didn't use her longtime hairdresser, Ken Paves, for her Vanity Fair cover, because photographer Mario Testino insisted on his own team. Guess he didn't want big "Texas" hair. [Page Six]
• The Black Eyed Peas are releasing The E.N.D  "Energy Never Dies," but don't call it an album. Will.i.am says: "The album? Whatever. I don't listen to albums. "People don't hear music like that now. When they stopped puttin' CD players in cars, that was when I knew it was over. The tradition of gettin' 15 songs and expectin' people to hear 'em how you made 'em? That's not it any more." The E.N.D. is more like a project that evolves through remixes and fan participation. Or something. [Guardian]
• When he was 16, Simon Cowell was a 'miserable little devil' who was kicked out of school. [The Sun]
• Denise Richards' romantic life? It's complicated. She is "Dating-ish. That means not a boyfriend. When I say dating-ish, I mean no boyfriend." [Yahoo via E!]
• Robert DeNiro is a grandpa! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which newly attached TV actress got it on with a gawky star from the same network?" [NY Daily News]
• Q: How many pairs of suspenders do you have? A: "Never counted 'em. But my guess would bethere are suspenders in New York and Washington and, of course, at my home in Los Angeles150. But they can't be clip-ons. Every pair of pants I buyjeans, anythingwe sew in the suspender buttons."  Larry King. [Time]
• "Some people are suing us at the moment and although it was initially a bit depressing, now it's become really inspiring. You think, 'Right, if everyone's trying to take away our best song, then we'd better write 25 better ones.' And so just at the point where I was thinking about getting fat and becoming complacent, I've been finding more inspiration."  Chris Martin of Coldplay. [Rolling Stone]
• "As everybody knows, chicks dig the vampires."  Paul Wesley, star of the new CW show The Vampire Diaries. The show is produced by Kevin Williamson, the force behind Dawson's Creek.

Meet Tiara Dew Dots, our "expert." She knows exactly what Brad and Angie are thinking, solely based on the red carpet photos from Cannes that are all over the internet.

TDD: There is tension here. Brad is trying to "Walk Away," just like the magazines report. Angelina is physically restraining him. Her stance is closed up and powerful; his limbs are all over the place  scattered, like his feelings for her. His brow is riddled with lines; he's worried he won't be able to escape. The one hand raised up is a cry for help.

TDD: Despite the smiles, there is pain in their eyes. She is reaching out to him, and he is recoiling. He would like to pluck her hand from his waist  see how his hand hovers? But he's afraid. His won't let his heels touch the ground, in fear of being literally stuck somewhere with her.



TDD: Angelina turns her back on the cameras the way she turns her back on men, when she's done with them. She's pivoted away from Brad and scanning the crowd for a new victim. Although one of Brad's hands attempts to cling to her, his other hand makes the old comic gesture, "Take my wife. Please."

TDD: They are looking  and moving  in different directions. Need I say more?????

TDD: Hmm. Odd. Here it almost looks like they're in love.

TDD: Her eyes are heavy-lidded with contempt. She is looking at his mouth like she can't believe the bullshit coming out it. She's thinking, why don't the tabloids ever accuse me of walking away? I am the one putting up with the epic vapidity that is your brain. And I hate how I'm always willing to watch whatever you want, but you can't sit through ten seconds of "The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency." Oh, wait. Sorry. I'm talking about Mr. Dew Dots now. Where were we?

TTD: His eyebrows show that he is in the moment, enjoying the attention. Her smooth, calm face shows she has checked out, emotionally. In fact, a faraway gaze like that could mean she's remembering that time she had sex with Billy Bob in the back of a limo on the way to the Ocsars. Maybe.

TDD: She looks at him with the same weary bemusement one would offer a tap-dancing monkey. She's so over it. She lets him clasp her hand, but sends a message with her eyes: "You'll never control me." He may or may not be passing gas. One foot is pointed toward her; the other away: Should he stay or should he go? The lady behind them has never been so psyched to have a picture of someone's shoulder.

TTD: You'd think that his arm, placed over hers, means that he is the dominant one. But no! The fact that her arm is sneakily snaked under his proves that she is a back-stabbing husband stealer. Look closely and you'll see that while his hand is relaxed lightly on her back, her hand is spread like a claw across the back of his jacket  she will quickly snatch him away to a hut in a difficult-to-pronounce country should Megan Fox suddenly materialize.

TTD: You can almost hear her whispering, "You're not going anywhere, mister."

TTD: Um. Hmm. Strange. This looks like… Love. But it can't be! I read In Touch, I know what's up.

[Images via Getty.]

[Cannes, May 20. Image via Getty]

[Cannes, May 20. Image via Getty.]

[Cannes, May 20. Images via Getty.]

[Cannes, May 20. Image via Getty.]

[Cannes, May 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Twihards! Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson says there will be a fourth Twilight movie; the plot of the book Breaking Dawn will come to the big screen. What does this mean?

To the uninitiated, (SPOILER) this creepy story involves young Bella being pregnant with a vampire baby that eats its way out of her uterus... Fun times! Vampires are dead, right? So how can they be born? Or have sperm to impregnate? Oh, that's right: SPARKLES. [The Hollywood Reporter]

• One of Robert Pattinson's bodyguards pushed a paparazzo into a trash can at Cannes. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez had dinner and drinks in Manhattan Friday night. It's so on. [People]
• Rihanna and rapper Drake: Really, really on. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is concerned for the safety and well-being of the surrogate carrying her twins: "She's had friends threatened and family threatened and she's had family of friends threatened," SJP says. Plus, the woman's phone and computer have been tapped/hacked. [USA Today]
• Gay bashing alert: A young woman was attacked at a party where Samantha Ronson DJ'd, and Sam says it was "simply for being gay." She writes: "NO ONE should have to suffer any sort of attack, verbal or physical, for any reason." Warning: She links to a picture of the victim's face, and the damage is terrible. [MySpace, Twitpic]
• The documentary about Amy Winehouse  Saving Amy  may reveal that the singer is struggling with anorexia, alcohol, and her parents. [Daily Mail]
• If you want to see what Michael Jackson looks like these days  without a face mask  go ahead and click. [Daily Mail]
• Property improvements! Brad Pitt is building a new pool cabana and deck on his Malibu estate, which is up for sale. If you have $18 million, you can get a lovely home, pool, tennis courts, and neighbors like Cindy Crawford and Leo DiCaprio. Any takers? [LA Times]
• Here's a first review of Brad Pitt's latest, Inglorious Basterds. Derek Malcolm calls it "absurd, overlong and mostly cardboard version of World War II." The script "places its actors in the unenviable position of appearing either melodramatic, farcical or just plain dull." And "there are some decent moments but they are few and far between." [This Is London]
• Ellen had No Doubt come to her show and overbooked the studio by 500 people  leaving hundreds in the heat and sun for hours, even though they had tickets. Feeling hella bad. [Perez]
• Shawn Johnson says Dancing With The Stars changed her life, and that her dancing partner brought out her personality. "And I've loved every second of it." [E!]
• A neighbor says Jon and Kate of Plus 8 fame are only together for the TLC paychecks. "A lot of people around town say that's what their relationship has been about for a while." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paula Abdul was asked if all four judges would be returning to American Idol next season, and replied, "Tune in!" [LA Times]
• A reporter to Hugh Hefner: "Would you let Lindsay Lohan play for Playboy?" Hef: "Who?" Reporter: "Lindsay Lohan." Hef cluelessly looks to his young girlfriend, who says, "Lindsay Lohan?" Hef, still looking confused, says, "Sure." Its on video. [Radar Online]
• In this video, Katy Perry talks about her religious parents: "They're very much cool." And: "My mom's isn't the rock-n-roller pot-smoking debutant that she was, and my dad's not the acid dealer with long hair anymore." Plus, she says doing a second record will be good, because "It'll show that either I got lucky or that I was meant to do this." [Rolling Stone]
• Years before Jay Leno nabbed a primetime spot, NBC was asking Oprah and Letterman to try it. [Variety]
• George Clooney will star in a flick called A Very Private Gentleman, playing an assassin who who protects his cover by hiding out in an Italian town. Is it even fiction? Can't you picture Cloons having a secret identity? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Looks like Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl will definitely be in Footloose; and now he may be joined by Miley Cyrus. The world is a strange and mysterious place. [E!, The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paris Hilton has been trying to get paid to appear at nightclubs in Cannes; a source says: "They aren't about to pay her. It's not 2002." [Page Six]
• Seven words you didn't want to hear this morning: "Jennifer Love Hewitt to relaunch singing career." [NME]
• Jesus, there is still major drama going on in Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford's divorce and custody battle. Rutherford has filed legal papers asking the judge to bar her ex from taking their 2-year-old son Hermes home  until the dad kid-proofs the pool and play areas. [TMZ]
• In this video, Charlotte Gainsbourg, who stars in Lars von Trier's Antichrist  the one with the genital mutilation  defends the film and Von Trier against the charge that he hates and exploits women. [Guardian]
• Another day, another Slumdog Millionaire child star's home destroyed. This time it was the living quarters of little Rubina Ali. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Sienna Miller wants a rose named after her, so somebody had better get on that. [Daily Express]
• Do you care if Vanessa Minnillo is still with Nick Lachey or not? This report says she was seen "acting single." Because she was drinking and dancing in a club. [Page Six]
• Colin Firth says he was well-versed in Noel Coward's work long before he signed on to star in Easy Virtue, a film based on a Coward play. [UPI]
• Does Ryan Phillippe have a wandering eye? [Page Six]
• File under: Moms re-entering the workplace. Liz Hurley has been away from movies for five years  due to the birth of her son  but would like to come back: "I decided I couldn't do movies for a while, which was a huge decision for me because I actually love making movies more than anything," she says. If she could do a film that could work around her son's school holidays, she would "take it like a shot." [Telegraph]
• T-Mobile is bringing Catherine Zeta-Jones back to its ads. [Business Insider via WSJ]
• Interesting: Chris Pontius of Jackass fame will appear in the new Sofia Coppola film, Somewhere. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• It's hard to read this story about actor Rip Torn's probation for DUI, because his 2006 mug shot is so LOL. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item! "Which wanna-be rocker had to take a trip to the emergency room because he went to sleep with his contacts in?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It is all going well and I know I am very happy right now. I want the happy ever after ending. I've definitely changed. I'm just letting things happen and seeing what does. In so many ways I am behind the mark for my age. I'm not married and I don't have children but my attitude now is that things may happen or they may not but just be happy."  Kylie Minogue, who has been dating this sweet piece of man candy for seven months. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm doing a speech about the situation with AIDS in America basically, and how we need to address what's going on. We seem to be falling a little behind in America. I find this disease very cyclical. Every 10 years or so, after we spend a lot of money trying to educate people  a new generation of people  and we tell them to have safe sex and to abstain sometimes but have safe sex, wear condoms, we find that after 10 years another whole group of people come along. And we have to start all over again, which is really, really frustrating because it takes money for education. And we find that if we could get into the schools at a grass-roots levels, which we do in places like Africa where we get to kids at a young age and we tell them about preventive measures for not getting HIV, we find the success rate is tremendous."  Elton John. [CNN]
• "I just hope it will go away, after a little bit of time. I hope I'm not naïve in thinking that's possible. I don't want to be a part of it. I can't seem to navigate a way of doing that, of actually telling the truth of events that happened without feeling I'm encouraging the whole gossip notion."  Christian Bale on his rant. [USA Today]
• "I don't want us to split up. I love my husband, but I can't sit around crying. This is a new story and a new chapter in my life. Pete is the love of my life and I am so sad and upset by his decision to separate and divorce me as I married him for life. This is not what I want, but the decision was taken out of my hands."  Katie "Jordan" Price. [Telegraph]
• "'Hot' has become a euphemism for all things positive, making it generally acceptable to use to describe everything from a jalapeño to a drum solo. It's sort of a useful word. We don't have to think of appropriate adjectives for people, places, performances, tacos, or objects anymore as they all fit snugly under the glorious umbrella of 'hotness.' So I don't know how hot I am but I'm honored to be considered as warmer than the average taco."  Olivia Wilde, who is number one on Maxim's Hot List. She also says, "Michelle [Obama] will always be No. 1 on MY list." [The Daily Beast]

[Cannes, May 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Cannes, May 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Cannes, May 18. Image via Getty]

The Good:
Tan Zhuo's dainty Ondine-ish flapper gown is absolutely lovely.


The fit of the bodice is a touch dodgy, perhaps, but Virginie Ledoyen looks as flawlessly Parisian-elegant as always.


Is Liliane Murenzi's Lady in Red reinventing the wheel? Maybe not, but she looks classic red-carpet glam.


If you're going to go Grecian, go totally Vionnet Grecian, like Melita Toscan du Plantier!


Kristen Scott Thomas, despite having a touch of "Kate" about the hair, is unassailably chic.


The Barbie look, as modeled by Laetitia Holliday, is so over-the-top as to be delightful! Plus, there's no way to fall over, always a good thing when one's feet are at a permanent 45-degree angle.


The Bad:
Okay, it's not that Actress/singer Lio doesn't look great, or that this isn't artfully constructed, but this is the apotheosis of this trend and it screams "Spring '09" like a banshee.


If one is to wear an aggressively 80's-inflected Trumperama, the fit had better be spot-on, unlike Hofit Golan's.


One hates to imagine seamstresses laboring over the application of sequins which are destined to make an arrow straight towards the core, as romance writers would have it. Jinx, Michelle Yeoh looks lovely, though.


What Say You?
Phoebe Price is looking unusually demure, but how do you feel about the bold choice to pair her gown with a picture hat?


The Ugly - Which of Course Actually Means Awesome


May i draw your attention to Fiona Gelin's purse, belt, and jacket?

[Images via Getty]

[Cannes, May 15. Image via Getty]

A snail is pictured on the red carpet at the 62nd Cannes Film Festival on May 15, 2009. The fetival kicked off on May 13 until May 24, 2009. AFP PHOTO / VALERY HACHE (Photo credit should read VALERY HACHE/AFP/Getty Images)

And "cute":

Picture taken on May 14, 2009 at the Zoo of Amneville, eastern France, of some of the six Arctic white wolves born last May 9, suckling their mother Miax. AFP PHOTO / JEAN-CHRISTOPHE VERHAEGEN (Photo credit should read JEAN-CHRISTOPHE VERHAEGEN/AFP/Getty Images)

[Nice, May 13. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

In case you don't know, the story revolves around an overweight, illiterate teen from Harlem who is pregnant with her second child and invited to enroll in an alternative school.

Newcomer Gabourey Sidibe plays Precious and Mo'nique plays her mother; Paula Patton and Mariah Carey also make appearances. In addition to a spectacular-looking trailer, the design geek in me has to give Lionsgate props for this poster:
…which is powerful and very much like some of the old posters designed by the great Saul Bass.


Precious premiered at Sundance in January and will be shown at the Cannes Film Festival (which started yesterday) but won't make its theatrical release in the U.S. until November (Oscar season!).

Precious Trailer [Trailer Addict]
Precious/Push: Based on the Novel by Sapphire [IMDb]
Related: Precious [Feministing]
Precious Trailer [Women & Hollywood]

[Cannes, May 13. Image via Getty]