Natalie Portman can do "perfection" better than almost anyone. And is that the night sky?


Julia Koch got the memo about "lady in red" patron-of-the-arts chic.


So did Fe Fendi!
And Paula Zahn!


Assuming she wasn't really famous, could you guess what Aurelie Dupont does for a living? It starts with "baller" and ends with "ina."


Candace Bushnell is here, obviously, because she's married to a dancer. I can't think of an equally logical explanation for her necklace. She's been ordained into the Eastern Orthodox priesthood?


The question: is Mila Kunis sporting her own dinner jacket, or was someone being chivalrous?


There are very few things apropos for both Studio 54 and the NYCB. Carol Mack's dress is one. "Baryshnikov" is another.


Let's add "Catherine Malandrino" to that list!"


Sarah Sophie Flicker: fun or folly? It makes me smile.


Michelle Herbert is, I think, going for Goddess of Love. Well, that or Ivana Trump.


Alexandra Lebenthal is doing the near-impossible: wearing yellow and not getting washed out.


And...Pamela Joyner's skirt will come in handy when the can-can starts later. (No, not joking. The dancing got wild.)


On the one hand, kind of loving Erin Fetherston's late-Poiret silhouette. On the other, the print's a tad Mrs. Roper -in-a-dogwood-tree. In other words, LOVE it.


Elise Overland and Diana Picasso: "So, flowing robes tonight?"


And just to give you a sense of the 'do: that's Darci Kistler and Peter Martins cutting a rug!

[Images via Getty]

I say this as a person who is very familiar with Bushnell's work. I read Four Blondes. I read Trading Up. I read Lipstick Jungle. I watched Sex and the City and tuned in for both Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia because I wanted to see who had the better touch, Bushnell or Star.

So I say, with complete confidence, that no one knows how to run an idea into the ground like Candace Bushnell. And as I watched this new venture/product placement/Frito-Lay commercial I felt myself wanting to bash my head against the wall. This? Really? The Broadroom follows five professional women and is supposed to provide insight into their lives by using quick segments and cute conversations that take place in a work setting. There are four total webisodes in all, but is it worth watching?

I don't think so.

Nine Things I Hate About The Broadroom:

• Why is Natasha putting fear of wearing a name tag on par with global warming? Everything else I could understand...but name tags? Seriously?
• How are we going to follow rote stereotypes about women when creating these characters, only to have said characters bitch about being a type?
• The Millennial is an idiot. "I spent all morning making these super cute placecards on my computer." The placecards combine a large font with clip art.
• "In a weird way, I don't know what my actual job is, but I love it." Please tell me this character does not confess to feeling like "Alice in Imposterland" in the October 9th episode. Word of advice: if you don't know what your job is, don't be surprised when you feel like you're faking it.
• Dialogue fail. Product placement fail. The scene below is a case in point:

  

  "When did they start naming lipsticks after food?"
  "Probably when food got more interesting than sex."

  I sent this to Anna, who promptly informed me:

  Re: 'naming lipsticks after food': one of the most popular lipsticks in the 80s was a Revlon shade called "Cherries in the Snow". These people are two decades, if not more, too late.

  Answer fail. But thanks for playing.

  Speaking of that clip...

• ...can we retire the "Where are all the men?" monologue? There's one in every show and every book! Can we at least upgrade it a little? Attack a random man on the street and hit him with a barrage of questions? That would be interesting viewing. For example:
  

  SCENE: ROAN and NATASHA approach a random man on the street as he pauses to grab a newspaper. NATASHA grabs him and slams him against a brick wall while ROAN brandishes her Caramel Kisses lipstick as a weapon.

  ROAN: (yelling) Where the hell are all the men?

  MAN: What? Who? I swear, I don't what you're talking about!

  ROAN: (making wild gestures with the lipstick) Where is my future husband? Where are all of you hiding?

  NATASHA: (hiking the man up by his collar) And why is my husband sending me cat pictures, huh? What is THAT supposed to mean? Did he stop looking for a job? Is he telling me it's time for a divorce because all we can talk about is cats? (grabs man by the face) Answer me, dammit!

  ROAN: Do what she says or else we're lipsticking your collar and calling your wife!

  Okay...maybe that's a bit unrealistic. But it would still be a vast improvement over the current dialogue.

• I hate that fucking jingle! It's prompting some kind of Pavlovian rage response.
• Does anyone really try to butt in airport lines anymore without an immediate "bish plz" from all the rest of us? And who would start a tug of war with the TSA people? They already seem pissed off enough and I can make the call when I get to the lounge area.
• A personal mantra is "When you're having a bad day, lower your standards?" Turn it off, turn it off!

This is grim. If the Boardroom really is reflective of what's on women's minds, I'm starting to wonder if we are all in danger of a lobotomy.

The Broadroom [Maybelline]

Earlier: "Only In a Woman's World" Are There So Many Dieting Stereotypes

The money/beauty tradeoff is nothing new — the thing is, there are just as many lovely women, apparently vying for an ever-shrinking number of big spenders. "There's much more competition,'" says one self-described golddigger. Adds another: "'When we go out there are usually four guys buying us drinks. Now there is only one...Guys just aren't going out as much. Plus, men aren't buying bottle service so there are no tables to invite women back to.'" Ted Morgan, co-author of How to Marry a Multi-Millionaire: The Ultimate Guide to High Net Worth Dating, says, rather distastefully, "There is an increased sense of desperation among women about dating, and men can sense this." As to less permanent relationships, a piece in today's Telegraph says that wealthy men are cutting back on mistress-associated costs, too: "More than three-quarters of the adulterous multi-millionaire men surveyed said they planned to spend less money on gifts and treats for their lovers, and 82 per cent planned to cut their regular payments."

Of course, it goes both ways: "Will I knowingly date somebody who is in the sh—ter right now? Probably not," says "Sammy." Basically, it's a straightforward barter system and everyone needs to pull his weight. What's weird is that none of the women seem prepared to rearrange their social lives: they'd rather vie with more competition at the same pricey bars each weekend than maybe take up a hobby or date the way the rest of us do. The thing is, all the women quoted in the piece are employed — real estate brokers, models, even women who themselves work in finance. And yet the goal of marrying — or at least dating — up seems so entrenched that even as they're fully pragmatically aware of the situation, they can't break out of it. If that's a dream to someone, it's depressing enough — finding everlasting love with a Mr. Big who — whoops! — also happens to be a gazillionaire is unlikely. But the pragmatism is more dismaying still. If there's an upside to this financial devastation, hopefully it's that some people will be forced to reevaluate, get lives that have nothing to do with Carrie Bradshaw and, maybe, be the happier for it.

Desperately Seeking Sugar Daddies [Page Six Magazine]
Wealthy men cut gifts to mistresses during financial crisis [Telegraph]

Friedman points out that the original pill was manufactured on a 28-day cycle as a way to convince Catholics that it was natural, not because it was actually any more natural than these newer versions. Friedman also notes that "the uterine lining does not build up as quickly for women on the pill, there's actually no medical need to slough it off every three weeks."

In other words, all the research thus far has shown that these pills are safe, so why all the fuss? As Sarah Haskins told us already, it's all about marketing.

When Seasonale first came on the market in 2003, it had Candace Bushnell as a spokeswoman. In the ads for the pill, the Sex and the City scribe said, "When you think about what women have accomplished with thirteen periods a year, think about what we can accomplish with only four." This makes the pill sound like a lifestyle choice, rather than a real medical decision with discernible benefits, Friedman points out. These benefits can include lower risk for uterine and ovarian cancers and hindering the progress of endometriosis.

On the anti-pill side is anti-choice crazy Leslee Unruh. Leslee said of the period supressing Lybrel, "[It's] a war on women and children…[it's proponents are] wanting us women who are feminine and have fertility…to be like men." Of course, neither Bushnell nor Unruh have it right: regulating your period in whatever way you see fit is neither a lifestyle choice nor unnatural. It's a decision to be made with research and medical professionals.

Like A Natural Woman [Ms. — Article Not Online]

Earlier: Sarah Haskins Wishes You A Happy Period Control
The Many Contradictions Of Leslee Unruh, Anti-Abortion And Purity Advocate

Alexis on her incipient OCD: “If you listen to the show, you’ll know that my area has to be calm before I can calm down…Not my vaginal area. I just meant my work area.”

Alexis on the source of her "honesty": “Maybe it was because [co-host Jennifer Koppelman Hutt and I] were raised where we didn’t really have to kiss anybody’s ass."

Alexis on the East Hampton gym she owned in the 90s: "If you’re nasty to me in my place of business, I’m going to be really nasty back. I’d be like, ‘Get the F out … And then they’d say, ‘You can’t do that!’ I was like, ‘Yeah, I can. I can’t kick you out because you’re short, or gay, but I can kick you out because you’re an asshole.’ ”

Alexis on Koppelman Hutt's friends: “I hate all her friends, and if I don’t do exactly what they’re expecting me to, they’ll freak out because I’m a bitch. I don’t tap-dance…[Her] Jappy Long Island friends."

Alexis on her "media training": "My media training was when I was 22 and some C-U-N-T named Candace Bushnell came to interview me about my mother…I learned very quickly."

Alexis on Martha: "She didn’t like me. But then again not many people do like me…People like to say that Martha didn’t pay attention to me, and that’s just not true. [Beat.] Maybe not the right kind of attention."

How Did Martha Stewart End Up With Howard Stern’s Baby? [NY Mag]

Earlier: Martha Stewart's Daughter Takes Therapy Sessions Public With New Show

There are things worse than being 17, single, and female in New York City. Like: being 17, single, and living in bumblefuck, upstate New York. It's a rite of passage most girls would not want to repeat. The sad little parties in dirty basements, the near water Coors beer, the dumpy jeans from J.C. Penney, the immature boys who would grow into only slightly more mature men, the chronic low-self-esteem which would grow into a consistent thrum of self-loathing.

It was Spring Break in bumblefuck, and Carrie Bradshaw was sprawled on her Laura Ashley comforter, wondering when she would finally emerge from the childhood of her discontent and flee to the bright lights and better cocktails of New York City. The low self-esteem she was working on; she had just recovered from the rhinoplasty she'd blown all her Bat Mitzvah money on. But after spending $3,000 to fix her "deviated septum," now she was too poor to take the bus to the City. Carrie had planned on meeting her best friend from Lake Gitchigumi Summer camp, Harmony Rothschild, at Palladium later that week.

Since she couldn't flee to the City, Carrie was contemplating whether or not to attend Seth's party that night. Seth Bateman was incredibly bland and yet vaguely offensive, just like the rest of the lacrosse team. But ever since Carrie had broken up with Jeremy, she was constantly searching for something different. Not that Jeremy wasn't wonderful — he was kind and had a Thunderbird and was Rob Lowe gorgeous — she just assumed there had to be something else out there. They hadn't even had sex! After all, she was only 17.

After a careful deliberation including four outfit changes, Carrie, clad in head to toe Benetton, figured that as long as she was stuck in Saratoga for the week, she might as well get away from her mother for the evening. Ever since her mother had been dumped by John Garrett Wiley III, Saratoga's leading real estate baron, she'd been badgering Carrie into a series of forced mother daughter bonding rituals. There were only so many nights Carrie could spend ritually painting her toenails and watching Murder She Wrote, so she flounced downstairs and as she ran out the door, called back to her mother, "I'm just going to a party…don't wait up!"

*Gawker Media does not have a team of hackers, nor is this a real page from Ms. Bushnell's manuscript...although it could be!

Candace Bushnell To Pen “Sex and the City” Prequels [Boston Herald]
Sex And The City: Year One [Overthinking It]
Single, Female And 25: Love Among the Ruins [The Observer]

Earlier: Revisiting 'Sex & The City': What Do These People Deserve More Than Each Other? Hint: It's Not "Your Attention

My problem is not that Bushnell calls herself a feminist — she is, without a doubt, as is anyone who believes that men and women are equal — but I still don't understand what that has to do with Botox, Jimmy Choos, not eating or bitchy, wealthy Park Avenue fauxialites.

Again, I feel the same way about Candace Bushnell as I did about Jenna Jameson. I get the idea that we're supposed to respect and look up to these women because they're self-made. Because they made a lot of money and have a head for business. But they both also did so while pushing agendas — in Bushnell's case, rampant materialism, and in Jameson's case, porn catering to the male gaze — that aren't things which are particularly admirable. For Bushnell, it seems that "capitalist" is the "ist" she most embodies, rather than "feminist."

However, both Bushnell and Jameson offer their brand of power as funneled through highly palatable packages. In Turner's profile of Bushnell, she writes, "Her looks were her entrée to New York highlife. Too short to model, with no acting talent, she began chronicling the Studio 54 set in a New York Observer column that became Sex and the City. Later her beauty was her supreme marketing tool: she posed discretely naked for New York magazine."

I don't fault Bushnell for her choices or begrudge her success, I'm just sick of her and her fucking expensive shoe fetish. If I never write the word "Manolo" again, I can die a happy woman. Can't we find better icons than this?

Finding True Love, By Sex And The City's Candace Bushnell [Times of London]

• Whoa. Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are dunzo. She was supposed to star in his remake of Barbarella, but studio moguls wanted "a bigger star, a bigger name." Now the flick might have — wait for it — Jessica Alba as the lead. What a fucking mess. But yeah, the whole leaving your wife for the chick in your movie thing is always bad news bears. [Page Six]
• Yo! Daniel Craig lovers! The new bond trailer is online! (Why yes, he is shirtless for a split second!) [BBC News]
• Jennifer Aniston and the gang are reuniting for a film version of Friends. Why, Zeus, why??? [Daily Mail]
• A source says Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees has been hanging out at Madonna's apartment a lot lately. He's been leaving as late as midnight. They work out at the same gym, have the same agent and her kids like the Yankees. But! Madge's spokesperson says there is no truth to the rumored affair. [NY Post]
• Plus, Madonna's spokesperson says: "There are no divorce plans." [Reuters]
• The spokesperson, Liz Rosenberg, Madonna's PR flack, swears that her Madgesty and Guy Ritchie are not getting divorced. TMZ points out that she is the same woman who, in 2006, said, "Madonna has not adopted a baby, despite reports that she has." [TMZ]
• Madonna and Guy walked into a New York City restaurant last night, holding hands. Then they had dinner together. So clearly, everything is fine. [People]

• A smiley, happy slideshow of photos of Madonna and Guy through the years shows that he never wears a wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Angelina Jolie is in the hospital but "there's no urgency." She's resting and whatnot. Twins, people. Twins. [People]
• Her hospital check-in was "planned" and Angie is "doing great." [Reuters]
• Angelina's obstetrician will make a statement this afternoon. What will it be??? [AP]
• And yeah. Angie may have fibbed about her due date. [Fox News]
• BREAKING NEWS: Shannen Doherty is in talks to reprise her role as Brenda on the new 90210. Holy uckfay. [Perez Hilton]
• Christie Brinkley's divorce trial begins today and it's hard to muster the energy to care. It sucks that some dude cheated on a supermodel with a 18-year-old assistant but: Yawn. [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe says of the new Harry Potter movie: "There is a fair amount of sexual energy and there are some drug parallels. We have a couple of what David Yates, the director calls our 'Trainspotting moments'." [Mirror]
• This headline: "Pharrell Williams To Grow New Skin In A Test Tube To Make Room For New Tattoos" says it all. [Mirror]
• Sienna Miller: Seen in Prague hugging married man Balthazar Getty and yes, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]
• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong had a beachside lunch with Kate's mom Goldie Hawn, aww. [People]
• Boy George was forced to cancel his US tour due to visa denial. He's all, "Do you really want to hurt me?" And the authorities are like, "Yes." [USA Today]
• Colin Farrell has a new dame, novelist Emma Forrest. They've been together six months (???) but made their first public appearance in Hollywood last night. [The Sun]
• Meryl Streep is psyched about her Mamma Mia! movie: "It's a requirement of popular culture that you strike an ironic distance. This doesn't. It's a film about women and their whole experiences being hopeful and youthful and older and suffering the regrets that you have over a long life. It's visceral and I love that." She also says: "Women's real change in our society has been disruptive, but feels evolutionarily necessary. So now 60% of the kids in college are women. More than 50% of medical students are women. They're not at the top in government and business, but there is real change and I think that has terrified everybody. It's terrified men and it's terrified women." As a result, she thinks, "women have performed a compensatory step back". Streep starts imagining out loud what the women who have made that step back tell themselves. "'I won't be sexy if I'm this - even though I want to be paid an equal amount, I still want to appear sexy, I still want to appear fragile, so I'll lose weight.' That's my theory about what women are doing anyway." There's so much more, you should read the whole interview. [Guardian]
• Chris Martin thought he might be gay, then he discovered he loves breasts. [The Sun]
• The heirs of J.R.R. Tolkien have not received any money from the Lord Of The Rings movies, even though the studios grossed around $3 billion at the box office and $3 billion in DVDs and merch, wow. Wow. [LA Times]
• Donna Summer is making a "comeback." She has always written her own songs and her new album is no different. She didn't want to end up a "desperate housewife" so she decided to "go for it." And she doesn't plan to quit: "Ella Fitzgerald sang throughout her whole life. I have no intention of stopping." [Independent]
• Derek Jeter may or may not know what "prowess" means, but he likes the way it sounds when applied to his love life. [Page Six]
• Unlike Carrie Bradshaw, Candace Bushnell still smokes. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin vs. NYC carriage horses: A shitty battle. [Page Six]
• Will Princes Harry and William appear in a movie about "the glamorous international polo circuit"? [Page Six]
• "As a woman, if you're outspoken and you know what you want, you're a bitch. And if you don't know what you want, you're a ditz." — Kimora Lee Simmons to Giant magazine. [Page Six]
• Here's something you didn't want to know: Director Brett Ratner bought five copies of The Big Penis Book. [Page Six]
• That Russian male model, Andre Birleanu, from America's Most Smartest Model, who was arrested twice and charged with harassment and sexual abuse? Looks like his cases will be dismissed. [Page Six]
• Anne Hathaway's family tried to warn her about her con man ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri. And did she know that shit was about to go down? She left the country right before the Feds arrested him. [Rush & Molloy]
• Tom Hanks vs. Jack Nicholson; SAG vs. AFTRA. [Rush & Molloy]
• LeRoi Moore, the sax player in Dave Matthews Band, has been seriously injured in an ATV accident. [TMZ]
• Tony Hawk and wife Lhotse welcomed their first child, a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk. (Tony has three sons from a previous relationship.) [People]
• Will Audrina be topless in her new movie? Do you care? [Egotastic]
• Eddie Murphy might retire. I wish he'd quit before he made Meet Dave. [ONTD]
• Josh Hartnett will star in a stage adaptation of Rain Man — as the Tom Cruise character, not the Dustin Hoffman autistic savant. [UPI]
• McDonald's has a Devo-looking Happy Meal toy, and Devo is pissed. [UPI]
• Justin Timberlake is afraid of his momma. Justin says she's like, "'Answer me when I ask you a question!' and then I’d start to answer and she’d go, 'Shut up when I’m talking.'" [MSNBC]
• Is Shia LaBeouf dating Ginny Weasley? He's 22 and she's 17, btw. [ONTD]
• Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen: Recording a duet! [OK!, via ONTD]
• Alleged illegitimate Lohan sister Ashley Kaufman wants a record deal. Of course. But! An "insider" says: "Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali." [MSNBC]
• Today is Lindsay Lohan's birthday. What do you think she's getting from Sam? [PopSugar]

And...yeah I'm sorta over it.

Without giving away too much regarding the story, one theme explores the boundaries of forgiveness — a touch ironic for a romantic comedy that commits the near-irredeemable sin of stretching to nearly 2 ½ hours....Those arcs, however, ultimately prove less satisfying than the simplest scenes, such as the four getting loopy on champagne together.

Sex & The City Review [Variety]
How I See Carrie [EW]
Related: Because No Man Should Feel The Agony Of This Film [Chicago Tribune]

Young, the author of the memoir How To Lose Friends and Alienate People, continues:

[In New York] Women are second-class citizens who are expected to use their youth and beauty as commodities in order to secure their economic wellbeing. Sex and the City is set in this world, but it conceals its brutality behind a veneer of cocktails and laughter. In reality, female friendship is the first thing to be sacrificed in the cut-throat competition for rich husbands. To my mind, Sex and the City is the equivalent of one of those Soviet propaganda films in which the factory workers are depicted as happy, singing citizens of tomorrow. The truth is that women like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda are wretched, unhappy and isolated. The key to their survival is not the sisterhood, but a combination of slimming pills and anti-depressants.

So Did It Teach Us Anything That Came In Useful Along The Way? [Guardian]

Related: Sarah Jessica Parker On 'Sex And The City' [Premiere]
Sarah Jessica Parker Would Like A Few Words With Carrie Bradshaw [NY Mag]
'How To Lose Friends' & The NYC Media Dreamworld

The edict against Julia was lifted once — in a stunt carried out during New York Fashion Week last September — but for the most part, no mention of her was made. Readers (most of them, no doubt, New Yorkers) wrote in unsolicited after the blog launched to request that we not mention her, which only served to underscore that I'd made the right decision in keeping her off our roster of blog-worthy media and cultural personalities. Except when I spotted her and her (admittedly adorable) white dog from afar at some media clusterfuck, in my mind, it was (almost) as if she didn't exist.

The thing is, Julia Allison and her sisters in conspicuous consumption and shameless self-promotion do exist, and it's getting harder and harder to ignore them. Their latest assault came via the NY Times' "City" section, which devoted some 2,000-plus words (and multiple four-color photographs) to Julia in a piece titled "Channeling Carrie" yesterday. My reaction to the piece was not unlike the expression shown on a woman shown standing behind Julia in a photograph taken at her 27th birthday party in NYC's West Village: a mixture of curiosity, uncertainty, discomfort and mild disgust. (Or maybe I'm just projecting.)

In the article, Julia practically crowns herself the new queen of New York narcissism: "If Carrie Bradshaw were coming to New York today," the Times quotes her as saying, "she would be me." To a Times reporter interviewing her on video for an accompanying web feature, she strikes a more humble note, explaining that being "compared to a character who has inspired a lot of women by opening herself up and questioning the issues that concern not just single people in their twenties and thirties but of all ages, that's a compliment."

Maybe so, but here's the question that no one seems to be asking regarding both Sex and the City and the Scary Sadshaws it has spawned: What important issues did the series identify and illuminate? What barriers did it break? What did the characters ("Carrie & Company") ever do for anyone outside of themselves? What, praytell, was so damn groundbreaking about a group of narcissistic rich white women with a love of shopping and gossiping about their sex lives? (Despite what Candace Bushnell thinks, the themes of no-strings-attached sex, female friendship, conspicuous consumption and social-climbing had been amply investigated long before she came on the scene.)

I'm willing to admit that it's possible the problem isn't with the Scary Sadshaws but with me — perhaps, as Julia asserts, I can aspire to be both "serious and thoughtful" while also being "shallow and frivolous", although I don't see how I'd have the time — so last night, I went online and spent $300 on a box-set of every episode of Sex and the City ever produced. (It comes in a suede cover in a hue of hot pink not unlike the plastic case covering Julia's white MacBook.) I've decided to watch all 94 episodes between now and the premiere of the Sex and the City movie on May 30 — around 12 episodes a week — in the hopes that I can embrace my inner Carrie Bradshaw and figure out what all the fuss is about (perhaps I'll even learn to like pink!). At the very least, the next time I see Julia, we'll have something to talk about...although Candace Bushnell can still kiss my middle-income black ass.

Channeling Carrie [NY Times]
Web And the Single Girl [NY Times]

Earlier: Before Sex & The City, Talking About Sex Was Practically Illegal
Julia Allison Asks: What About Fashion Makes You Want To Hurl?