Fox News senior vice president Michael Clemente reportedly met with White House press secretary Robert Gibbs on Wednesday. That's all we really know about that right now. But meanwhile, the debate carries on about whether it was an abuse of power for the White House to — as deputy communications director Dan Pfeiffer put it to the New York Times — "stop abiding by the fiction, which is aided and abetted by the mainstream press, that Fox is a traditional news organization."

Writing for Salon, Gene Lyons sums up the nature of the controversy: "Neither the Times nor most 'mainstream' pundits evaluated the claim on its merits. Most pretended not to grasp the White House's point, and then went straight to the aiding and abetting." Lyons and Mike Madden list several of the most egregious examples of Fox apologism in the mainstream press. Writes Madden:

"It makes the White House look childish and petty at best, and it has a distinct Nixonian — Agnewesque? — aroma at worst," Ruth Marcus wrote on a Washington Post blog. Her colleague Sally Quinn told Fox News the episode reminded her of Watergate. (Likewise, NPR's Ken Rudin initially compared the White House move to Nixon's enemies list, though he later apologized for the comparison.) ABC News' Jake Tapper pressed the White House on whether it was appropriate for officials to weigh in on what was or wasn't a legitimate news organization. On Time's Swampland blog, Joe Klein said the White House was better off ignoring Fox than trying to hit back.

Lyons reminds us just how overblown and borderline batshit the Nixon comparisons are: "Excuse me, but Nixon's enemies list was secret. Journalists and others got subjected to illegal FBI wiretaps, 'black bag' break-ins and IRS audits. White House officials even discussed murdering columnist Jack Anderson... Meanwhile, poor little Fox got criticized publicly. Oh, the horror!"

Perhaps the worst offender, though, was CNN's Campbell Brown, who asked Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett whether the White House considers MSNBC a biased network. Jarrett declined to answer, prompting Brown to remark that she, "seems loath to admit that MSNBC has a bias. And that is where I think the White House loses all credibility on this issue."

Really? Because that's where I think Campbell Brown loses all credibility on this issue. Even if MSNBC does have a liberal bias in its news reporting (as opposed to its opinion and analysis) — for our purposes here, I'll even stipulate that it does — it's still comparing apples and rotting, bug-infested oranges. The problem is not that Fox News leans a bit to the right (in my opinion, so does CNN and so does half the "liberal" opinion on MSNBC), but that they consistently violate principles of journalistic ethics as if that is, in fact, their primary goal and they're systematically working through a checklist. It's not that they editorialize; it's that they lie. It's not that they sympathize with right-wing whackjobs, it's that they sponsor them. You want to have a conversation about media bias on both sides, that's fine, but you cannot have an intellectually honest version of that discussion if you begin with the premise that Fox and MSNBC are equally outrageous in their departure from objectivity and distortion of the facts — or, you know, "the fiction that Fox News is a traditional news organization."

It's convenient for folks at CNN to pretend that the two are equivalent, since that makes them look like the one cable news outlet that gives a damn about balanced reporting. But such an assertion actually betrays both bias and bull on their part (even if the bias is chiefly toward their own profits). Fox News has consistently displayed such a flagrant lack of concern for facts, balance and integrity, any journalist with the slightest pretension to objectivity should be mortified by the mere thought of defending them. And yet.

Personally, I think it's time to "elevate the conversation," as Brown put it, not to a discussion of liberal vs. conservative bias in the media, but one about whether such a thing as "journalistic objectivity" really exists anymore (or ever did). For starters, everyone, including journalists, has opinions; that traditional journalists make some effort to mask their own while reporting doesn't change that fact. Even the most "objective" reports can be manipulated to reveal a slant in one direction or another; who gets the first word, who gets the last word, how quotes are edited, which facts are included and which omitted, which arguments from each side of a controversy are considered worthy of inclusion, all can — and often do — give the reader a peek behind that mask, without any acknowledgment that that's exactly what's happening.

And especially lately, establishing "balance" has meant giving an equal voice to people who live in the reality-based community and any crackpot with a theory and a publicist. Why the hell did the mainstream media take "birthers" seriously, for instance? Fact: Obama is an American citizen. Fact: He has the birth certificate to prove it. Fact: Several journalists have fondled that legal document with their own hands. That right there is the objective truth, and all that's worth reporting. Presenting those facts alongside a deranged rant by Orly Taitz, as if both deserve equal consideration, is not balanced reporting, but cynical ratings-mongering that inflames bullshit-based hysteria and very much clouds the truth. Getting "both sides of the story" isn't worth sweet fuck all, journalistic integrity-wise, when there are not actually two sides to that story.

Of course the White House speaking out against any media outlet demands a full consideration of whether they're trying to control the news in unconstitutional ways. But in this case, such a full consideration leads to the conclusion that they're not. They are, in fact, acknowledging an objective reality: Fox News is not a traditional news organization, and it is dangerous to continue pretending they are.

Fox News Channel, Obama Administration Talking [AP]
Why Is The Media Defending Fox And Attacking Obama? [Salon]
Don't Be Surprised The Media Elite Sided With Fox [Salon]
White House Declares War On Fox News [Salon]

Related: Help Damon Weaver Get An Obama Inauguration Interview [Huffington Post]

A well-placed source at 30 Rock (the building, not the television show) tells us that when Maddow arrived for her fitting, she was shown to the Vogue closet — and a row of Louboutins that our source was dying to pet. As you can see, however, Maddow insisted on sticking to her standard Converse, wearing a Jil Sander suit that wouldn't seem out of place behind her desk and keeping on her sexy librarian glasses. (Our source also confirms Maddow's claim that Page Six made up the story about MSNBC trying to de-dyke her.) So much for the worries about Andre Leon Talley — who our source says is such a huge fan of Maddow's (and Olberman's) that he chatted with her about the last three days' worth of shows.

Fashion aside, Maddow's not planning on turning into a loyal Democratic sycophant when Obama takes office. She told Vogue:

"I guess I'm interested in making fun of bad ideas, regardless of who has them," she says. "Obviously you don't want to randomly scour the world for bad ideas. You want to respond to influential bad ideas. So if you end up in a situation where there isn't a loyal opposition, where the Republican Party is in disarray and isn't really surfacing in the discussion, then they won't be the people I'm making fun of. I will be making fun of the Democrats or the supposed experts."

And although Maddow isn't the type to get girly in order to get ahead in broadcast news, she's not totally immune to reactions to how she looks, either.

Tonight, Maddow is feeling exhausted, having spent the last month inventing The Rachel Maddow Show, and is concerned about last night's show, given some chatter about her tiredness. She turns to Mikula.

"It was all over the Twitter feed, man!" she says.

"It was obvious. I'm sorry," says [her partner Susan] Mikula.

"In the way that I looked, or the way that I was behaving?"

"You had visible black under your eyes."

"How was I tonight?" Maddow asks.

"You looked fresh as a daisy."

The rest of the piece concern Katie Couric and Campbell Brown, the other break-out anchors of the campaign. Couric, who's been in the spotlight the longest, has also had more than her share of ups and downs in the anchor's chair, from being criticized (by Nora Ephron) for her makeup to being lambasted for having the audacity to try to change the crappy format of the dying evening news program.

"I've had some pretty down days," Couric admits. "One thing I didn't realize when I talked about getting out of your comfort zone is that sometimes you're uncomfortable." Pat Mitchell, a friend and former anchor who now runs the Paley Center for Media, remembers, "At one point she said to me, 'I haven't changed. What changed here?' "

Katie Couric, in effect, went to being everyone's sweetheart on Today to being thought unqualified for her job and her salary despite her decades of media experience.

Campbell Brown, too, recognizes sexism when she sees it (or, more likely, experiences it). She went from NBC to CNN, rising quickly due to commentary that managed to be insightful without being too politically biased — and, god knows, we all liked seeing her rip Tucker Bounds a new one and asking the McCainiacs to free Sarah Palin. Although Vogue doesn't ask her whether her marriage to Republican strategist Dan Senor insulates her, to a degree, from the rapid right-wing attacks faced by other media types when they criticize Republicans, the magazine does ask her about what it's like to be the one in the middle, politically speaking.

The other cable news shows on Fox and MSNBC are clearly defined outlets of the left and the right. "My competition have an automatic punching bag," Brown says, "and an audience that wants their opinions validated each night. We finally learned to articulate things; I found a freedom because I am able to do commentary at the beginning." She does not attack, but she challenges. To Elizabeth Dole, on the occasion of her "Godless" ads against her opponent: "We're fighting two wars, our economy is a disaster.…Cut it out, reclaim your dignity. Please, please, just tell us what you think you can do to help get this country back on track."

Shaping the News [Vogue]

Related: Way to Skirt The Issue [Page 6]
Rachel Maddow: ‘It’s Hilarious That ‘Page Six’ Just Runs Stuff That They Make Up’ [Daily Intel]

Earlier: Rachel Maddow: Mag Hag
CNN's Campbell Brown Turns McCain's Accusation Of Sexism On Its Head

One week before giving birth to little Archie Arnett, writes New York's Emily Nussbaum, the Saturday Night Live funnylady "went out there swinging, her immense belly swaying over the Weekend Update desk, performing a wild, aggressive Sarah Palin rap—effortlessly shooting down both a dancing moose and the actual Sarah Palin." Inspiring? Sure. Amy Poehler is awesome, but does anyone actually think that she would be less so because she's with child? Does carrying a fetus render a woman brain damaged?


Which is why the following is so baffling:

Anchor Campbell Brown savaged spin doctors throughout her first trimester, sharpened by fuzz-head hormones that fell other women.

Sorry? Other knocked-up women are walking around befuddled and bewildered? Isn't every pregnant working woman out there doing her job? While you may not see them rapping or interviewing Democratic strategists, don't you know pregnant women who make quick business decisions, instill fear in underlings, lift grocery bags, corral kids and always have a witty comeback? What do you think they'd say about the idea that they're thought of as "fuzz-heads"?

Because Our Pregnant Women Kick Ass [NY Mag]

LATOYA: And here's Johnny!

MEGAN: I would never have expected that as your nickname!

LATOYA: LOL. Megan, we have a lot to cover today. The headlines seem good AND I got to talk to Lorelei about national security and terrorism. But first...

MEGAN: Ed Rendell is an insensitive, sexist jerk.

LATOYA: That seems to be going around lately. It's so textbook too — of course Napolitano must be a career woman, she has no family! I liked Campbell Brown's response.

MEGAN: I think it's a communicable disease, passed around by slapping one another's asses in the locker room.

LATOYA: Agreed. We should pass a no-locker-room-ass-slapping ordinance on Capitol Hill.

MEGAN: She is pretty awesome. But, no, it has to stop earlier! Ed Rendell didn't become a sexist late in life. He caught the bug early on! It's rotted his brain, like the syph.

LATOYA: You know, some people just can't be helped. But he should watch his back. Obama is bringing a lot of career women with him.

MEGAN: And some of them even have families and yet can totally do their jobs!!!

LATOYA: Come on Megan — you know they are all just exceptions to the rule.

MEGAN: Right. Women, being less smart and productive than men, have to give up on a family or a social life and work 19-20 hours a day just to kick ass at their jobs. If they have a family, well, they're really just superwomen. Maybe having kids makes you more productive? If you're a woman, that is.

LATOYA: Yup, because obviously, men don't have any help — they just have the aptitude. It's not like there's some kind of system cough patriarchy cough that gives them options and supports their careers working 19 and 20 hour days. But some men seem have resisted some of that conditioning. Did you see David Paterson getting all worked up that no women were nominated to the NY Court of Appeals Judge position?

MEGAN: He's so fucking hot when he's getting all angry.

"What we really wanted to do is just publicly acknowledge ... the disappointing fact that they spanned the globe and couldn't find a woman in New York state that was qualified to serve as the chief judge," he said.

LATOYA: You know, for someone who got drop kicked into the position, Paterson is kicking some ass.

MEGAN: Can you believe that the big boys of old New York politics didn't want him?

LATOYA: Oh, I have a few ideas why. But too bad suckas! Paterson is going to milk this 'till the cow is bone dry! In other news, Republican Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen thought she was being "punked" when she got a congrats call from Obama so she hung up on him. Twice.

"I thought it was one of the radio stations in South Florida playing an incredible, elaborate, terrific prank on me," Ros-Lehtinen told the newspaper. "They got Fidel Castro to go along. They've gotten Hugo Chavez and others to fall for their tricks. I said, 'Oh, no, I won't be punked."'

You know, we always talk about the toll MTV takes on the youth of America — but obviously, there is an unseen victim of reality TV shenanigans.

MEGAN: Ileana Ros-Lehtinen wasn't scared of being the next Chavez on the radio, she was scared of being the next Palin, thinking she was talking to Sarkozy.

LATOYA: Hahahah — good point, I had forgotten that one.

MEGAN: Or she's just heniously insecure:

When an amused Obama called again, Ros-Lehtinen he was either “very gracious” to reach across the aisle by contacting her, or “had run out of folks to call, if you are truly calling me.”

LATOYA: Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you the GOP.

MEGAN: I mean, the top Republican woman in Congress and the Ranking Member of the House Foreign Affairs Committee — the week after a major terrorist attack AND the week Obama is announcing his team to work on foreign affairs — and she doesn't know why he would call her. Ladies, when I say things like "don't undervalue your contributions at work to people," this is what I'm talking about.

LATOYA: Word. She is not doing any favors to the cause. But now, let's chat about someone else who is rocking it out for women. As you know, Megan, I'm more social justice inclined. I only follow politics because I have to.

MEGAN: Yeah, I'm an addict.

LATOYA: So, I've been reading the terrorism reports with some interest and I had a ton of questions. Luckily, I happen to know a national security expert.

Lorelei Kelly (Washington, DC): Lorelei Kelly is a national security specialist working to educate elected leaders and the American public about security challenges revealed by 9/11. She is the Policy Director of the Real Security Initiative of the White House Project, a non-partisan organization whose mission is to increase the influence of women in media, culture and politics. [Note - she just left this gig, and is working with various military groups to draft National Security recommendations for the new administration.] Kelly's professional background includes teaching at Stanford University's Center on Conflict and Negotiation, working as Senior Associate at the Henry L. Stimson Center, a DC think tank, and working on bipartisan national security in Congress. She founded "Security for a New Century" a study group that supports cutting-edge knowledge on foreign policy and defense issues for Congressional members and staff. Kelly attended the Air Command and Staff College program of the US Air Force as well as programs at the National Defense University and Army War College. She co-authored, with Dr. Elizabeth Turpen, a handbook for citizens entitled "Policy Matters: Educating Congress on Peace and Security" and produced a civil-military dialogue guide entitled "A Woman's Guide to Talking About War and Peace" with Dana Eyre USAR. She blogs regularly at democracyarsenal.org and www.huffingtonpost.com

I called her up last night, and we talked about the media, national security, where we are screwing up on terrorism, and what people can actually do.

MEGAN: Other than put their heads in the sand or use people's fears to increase the power and invasiveness of the state's security apparatus?

LATOYA: LOL — exactly. Some people seem to have noticed that move isn't working so well. So check this out — according to Lorelei, there has been no debate on the military budget since 1985. It is difficult to define, people don't want to talk about it, and it is not auditable" — we essentially can't measure what we are getting for what we are spending. Currently, the defense budget is 700 billion, the DoD just asked for 500 million more, and war spending is not counted in this budget.

MEGAN: Well, and part of the problem is that there is no public debate on the military budget, and much of it remains utterly classified as though knowing what we spend on porta-potties in Iraq will help the terrorists win. At best, we get a big number that no one really listens to and no explanation of what it was spent on.

LATOYA: Exactly. And when I talked about government graft earlier in the year, I pointed out how there are defense contractors who are not performing the services they are paid for and yet they can phone a friend and start bidding on contracts again.

MEGAN: And not just bidding, either. Winning. I mean, bidding is for companies that aren't well-connected enough to the Administration to finagle no-bid contracts for themselves.

LATOYA: That's true too! And the worst part is that what we are doing isn't working. Lorelei told me, "Generals coming back from Iraq that say maybe 20% of the problems there have military solutions. All the rest of the problems are about rule of law, girl's education, ideological alternatives, governments that work." She also broke down a big failure in counter terrorism measures that explains why we are wasting so much money:

"It's like spending 9 billion dollars on missile defense (which has never worked). This year, we spent 9 billion - the number is over 130 billion since it started in the 80s. But we don't secure docks and ports, we only apply maybe 400 million to that, and we only inspect 6 to 7% of ports." Lorelei mentions that most terrorists are able to move freely between ports, mainly because of their lack of oversight. And if terrorists were to try to move questionable materials, the port system is the safest as the security is so lacking. "The biggest thing is that our government loans out inspectors to areas that need the help - but since we haven't funded the program, transnational shipping is vulnerable. We have to be there with alternatives at every level."

MEGAN: We need to stop calling it "missile defense" and go back to calling it "star wars" because that was much more effective at conveying to people the fact that it was incredibly expensive and a cool idea that we don't have the capacity to do.

LATOYA: Good point. From now on, we will always refer to it as Star Wars for the purposes of Crappy Hour.

MEGAN: Also, let us point out that where we are citing part of it in Eastern Europe is also causing a large part of our diplomatic problems with Russia. So we are citing a Star Wars site in order to protect our European allies from getting nuked by a pissed off Russia, thus pissing off Russia and tempting them to aim their nukes at our allies in Western Europe.

LATOYA: Lorelei also points out that a friend on the ground (in Afghanistan) told her that a tarp set up in Afghanistan could defeat a 2 million dollar plane. She said "We are fighting this battle with the wrong tools. Whenever terrorist attacks have been foiled, it's come from Scotland Yard, Interpol, or the FBI. It's really local police work. This stuff is preventive work."

MEGAN: And that's not even to mention the need to actively cooperate with the Russians to secure nuclear materials to keep them out of the hands of terrorists eager to use a suitcase nuke or dirty bomb, which could then be snuck in through one of our ill-secured ports.

LATOYA: Oh right - speaking of Europe and Russia, Lorelei made a good point on how the nature of warfare as changed:

"The threats used to come from strong states. Now they come from weak states. The paradigm has been turned on its head. Pakistan is far more dangerous than N. Korea - with N. Korea, we can talk in a way that we know. There's one guy who you know is in charge and who exercises control. Pakistan doesn't have any centralized power - [a threat] could come from anywhere."

MEGAN: As India just found out.

LATOYA: Yeah, and how do you fight that? They are trying to talk to the government and Pakistani government is like "Yo - we don't know!"

MEGAN: Well, the parts of the Pakistan government willing and enabled to talk that was, indeed, not involved that is.

LATOYA: Yeah, that's a problem too. And before I forget, remember that article Anna sent through on the WMDs on Tuesday?

MEGAN: I mean, with all the pirates from Somalia running around trying to hijack cruise ships and stealing oil tankers and shit... Failed and weak states are seeming way more dangerous than Russia. You mean the one where we're about to get it? Yeah, how could I forget.

LATOYA: Well, the first thing Lorelei said when I sent her the link was:

"These kinds of reports are easily oversensationalized. It's really important not to lump all of these things together. Chemicals are very different from nuclear, which are very different from biological. Biological terrorism by pandemic disease can either be natural (an accident) or man introduced. The best response to a biological attack is the hospital staff in your era. The problem is there is never enough - enough communication between labs and hospital teams, enough beds, enough doctors, enough of anything."

MEGAN: Well, that's totally not depressing at all, and about what we said about it the other day, too.

LATOYA: By the way, Lorelei also gave me a link we can use to check your state's preparedness for a biological or chemical attack. They rank all the state heathcare systems. In short: We're screwed. But back to the cashflow — according to Lorelei ""A lot of the Homeland Security money went to "hardening" security. What they call it in government is the better mousetrap." We build these things instead of upgrading our work on TB, AIDS, and Malaria which become pandemics that can spread and cause nationwide chaos.

MEGAN: Yeah, we are pretty much just completely fucked. If I hadn't already driven through Kansas, I would say I was gonna move to Kansas to be safe, but I have, so I don't wanna.

LATOYA: Oh I know. When I worked on the Hill, I thought about moving every time we had a terror drill. If something happened, we would be so screwed. And we aren't VIPs!

MEGAN: I sort of disagree, in that we need to be able to watch and chew gum at the same time as a government. As you pointed out earlier, there are major infrastructure flaws that need fixing and those cost money. Thing is, AIDS, malaria and TB are all the purview of Health and Human Services which, luckily, didn't end up at DHS when it was formed (run, FEMA, run away!!). We need to be funding both.

LATOYA: They are — but they also dovetail into terrorism, as in, what's easiest to spread? Again, we're dropping tons of cash on Star Wars, while the terrorists are bombing cars, hijacking planes, and running up on people with machine guns. I think it's time to reevaluate.

MEGAN: AIDS are malaria are, technically, kind of hard to spread. Are they going to breed infected mosquitoes, smuggle them in and release them? Run around pricking everyone in NY with dirty needles?

LATOYA: Again, depends. But like Lo said, they are all different things. Chemical/Biological/Nuclear all have to be evaluated and dealt with separately. But your point I think goes back to evaluating risk. What poses the greatest risk to the citizenry?

MEGAN: True, but I think conflating AIDS funding with terrorism funding hits on one of my pet Washington peeves, which is how people try to tie their pet issue to the thing most likely to generate funding rather than arguing its merits.

LATOYA: No, I agree the tying funds to something unrelated is an annoying Washington tic. But these things are related.

MEGAN: I don't deny the public health crisis, or the need to spend more money on prevention and research on major diseases, but malaria is of virtually no risk to the U.S. population.

LATOYA: Umm...you sure? I just got my health insurance back.

MEGAN: Yeah, I'm sure.

LATOYA: Before then, if there was an outbreak of anything, I might die. I can't remember my last vaccinations.

MEGAN: There are few vaccinations you need as a grown-up other than a tetanus booster, Hep and a flu shot. I, at least, am too old for Gardisil, so there you go.

LATOYA: But then again, I come from a state where a kid died from a tooth abscess, just because of a lack of dental care, so maybe I'm just paranoid like that.

MEGAN: That was so sad! I remember that case. It's such an argument for expanding SCHIP coverage.

LATOYA: It actually did. They named the new dental bus thing we have after that kid, and it lead to Maryland increasing what dentists are paid with Medicaid so more dentists will accept poor patients. So while I would love to think we're immune to things like Malaria, TB, and other things we thought we cured, you never really know. Like TB — we're okay, and the rate is dropping in the US but there is some disturbing news about TB along the border and drug resistant strains in Latin America. Lorelei mentioned ""We're so stuck [in an old way of thinking] - the first thing we do is build a wall." (See Mexico). "There is a mentality that you can contain threats in today's world. And we have to realize we can't - it is no longer possible."

MEGAN: Well, no one argues that we cured malaria or TB, but malaria hasn't been an issue here in a really, really long time. But, I'm all for raising Medicare reimbursement rates, expanding SCHIP coverage, increasing medical research funds, all that stuff. We just don't have to tie it to terrorism to do it, I think.

LATOYA: So we need to look at that. We may not have to tie it to terrorism, but the two agencies should work in tandem. Just like an increased TB risk may have something to do with securing our border with Mexico.

MEGAN: Drug-resistant diseases are sort of a scourge of health care, in part because so many people — particularly in the developing world where care is lacking —- don't finish their course of antibiotics, they stop taking it when they feel better or they take them when they don't need it. Of course, if we talk about drug resistant TB and securing the border, you know it will inflame prejudices when there's been exactly one case of a Mexico businessman who had it and came here and never infected anyone.

LATOYA: Very true. We also talked about the IMF/World Bank and the relationship between capitalism and democracy, but it's about that time Megan.

MEGAN: It is, but for whatever reason Breton Woods made me start singing the song "Norwegian Wood" in my head, so I will go hum that to myself while I post this.

LATOYA: And now, you made me think of Haruki Murakami. Now I just want to read instead of work.

MEGAN: What's up with you?

JASON: I am great, and I want to avoid any sort of controversy with the loyal Jezebel readership right off the bat. Yes. I am a Virginian and I will be voting in this election. I am personally offsetting Nancy Pfotenhosenblitzenpantz's vote, for America.

MEGAN: And I plan to offset Mr. Pfuckingsucks' vote. I don't think almost any of McCain's other advisers actually vote in swing states. Ha-ha, suckers.

JASON: Ana Marie would probably know that for certain, but yes, let's assume that the rest of McCainland is registered to vote in Waziristan.

MEGAN: Well, one assumes Schmidt votes in California, Rick Davis seems like the sort of insufferable prick who lives in Potomac and Salter seems like he would actually live in DC. Shit, I take it back, Davis lives in Alexandria (I just looked it up). Can your wife offset him?

JASON: Indeed, she can. The rest of your contention is well within the realm of possibility, with the exception of Rick Davis, who is an insufferable prick, as proven by science. I think that the Draper piece from NYT Magazine gets a little bus-throwy-undery with him, doesn't it? Just my impression. Rick Davis and Charlie Black are the Dark Sith Lords of the McCain campaign.

MEGAN: My upstairs neighbor can offset Tucker Eskew, another Alexandrite. Who knew all the Republicans lived there? Fun campaign finance fact? Mr. Kurt Pfuckingsucks is indeed a McCain donor — as of last month. Wonder how long she withheld marital favors for that? Oh, and he donated under another McCain campaign finance reform loophole that allows him to take public financing and yet still accept money for things like legal and accounting expenses. You betcha.

JASON: Ha! I am sure that he caved quickly, though it is fun to imagine a Lysistrata scenario in that household. No matter what happens in the election, I'll tell you what, it's going to be excellent to take a break from seeing many of these people on teevee. And most especially: THE END OF CAMPAIGN EMAILS. Goodbye to the Obama campaign's breathless and earnest pleas. So long to Alex Conant, furiously massaging his twig of a cock over every little objection he can have with the Obama campaign. And especially: BYE BYE BUTT BOY TUCKER BOUNDS. I hope the next thing I read from him is a suspicious Craigslist ad seeking some middle aged woman to pound his ass with an egg beater while dressed up like Campbell Brown. I'll look at it, and smile. "That'll do, Tucker," I'll say, "That'll do."

MEGAN: I really think a potato masher would be more painful.

JASON: I concur. Also, more suited to the task.

MEGAN: Just so long as he doesn't make her video the thing for RedTube or something, because you know I'll be Google Image searching for a picture of him in 6 months and see that and end up in the fetal position crying.

JASON: Of course, I suppose that as a member of the media, I should whip out the Don't Count John McCain Out card that we're handed when we finish filling out our I-9 forms.

MEGAN: Right, right, blah, blah, he could still win it! I mean, even my most rabidly Republican friend thinks: a) he's lost and b) the Socialist-Marxist crap is just stupid. And this is from someone I wouldn't have been surprised to hear say it.

JASON: But, honestly? I'm pretty much planning for the moment I get to finally start counting McCain out. The polls may have tightened a smidge, but it doesn't appear to be moving in McCain's direction in a concerted or significant way. And, to put a finer point on it, I'll kick it to Nate Silver:

John McCain is NOT gaining ground in the states that matter the most. The top tier of states in this election are Virginia, Colorado and Pennsylvania. There is lots of lots of polling in these states, particularly in Virgnia and Pennsylvania, and it's all coming up in roughly the same range, showing Obama leads in the high single digits (in VA and CO) or the low double digits (in PA). The second tier of states is probably Ohio, Florida and Nevada. McCain seems to be getting a bit stronger in Florida; Obama seems to be getting a bit stronger in Ohio and Nevada. McCain does seem to have halted Obama's progress in some of the third-tier states, particularly Missouri and North Carolina. On the other hand, some other third-tier states, like New Mexico and particularly New Hampshire (where Obama is getting some insane numbers lately), now appear to be off the table.

MEGAN: We'll then have to pit hottie Nate Silver against Nerd God Chuck Todd's analysis, which is less rosy:

If they show up and vote, then Obama's margins will shrink dramatically because McCain — as I've argued before — will garner some 70+ percent of the undecided vote.

What does this mean for the map? It puts a lot of states into too close to call territory, including North Carolina, Florida, Indiana, Ohio, Missouri and Nevada.

The problem McCain has is that a movement of undecided voters toward him might not be enough to stop Obama in Colorado, Virginia and Pennsylvania.

Really, Chucky T? Seventy percent of undecideds will break for McCain in 5 days? Those don't seem like actual undecideds, then.

JASON: Well, look, I think Chuck Todd is not totally out of bounds to suggest that might happen, but if he's still going to concede Colorado, Virginia, and Pennsylvania, then that's the whole shooting match, right there, isn't it?

MEGAN: I just feel like, fuck, man, Obama got Fukuyama, but he'll lose 70 percent of undecided voters? Let alone all the other Republicans he's picked up. I'm pretty sure McCain win over every, last bitter and annoying P.U.M.A., but that's about it.

JASON: Well, it's all on the Obama team's GOTV effort, now. It's up to them to prevent their guy from getting pipped at the post, here. What does winning over every last PUMA even get you? Doesn't that still leave you a few dollars short for a bag of eggrolls?

MEGAN: Also, on the P.U.M.A. front, can I just say how fucking annoying it is that all these Hillary Clinton supporters, piqued about sexism can't just quietly and bitterly go vote for McCain, they have to write shoddy missives on the Daily Beast about how personal this all is for them that have either nothing to do with policy or are just bitterness couched in a completely irrational, meritless and lacking-in-facts policy argument, thus extending the media narrative about irrational and emotional women voters? Arguably, making sexism worse, not that getting McCain into the White House would make sexism better and not make it worse anyway, but still...

JASON: Well, look. PUMA has no policy argument. They have no political argument. This is like a group of like-minded, needy, sad people for whom having a Facebook group wasn't enough. Were they able to cast their vote next week for Hillary, they'd still be terribly useless to her because it's clear they don't give a tinker's damn about Hillary's point of view on the world and what America needs policy-wise. These are people who simply insist that America recognize their specialness. They won't be the reason McCain wins, they won't be the reason Obama loses. They won't be anything, but the memory of some addled fucksticks who yelled at Chris Matthews and had a website. I mean, the people who voted for Nader? They were some self-aggrandizing, self-absorbed turds right there. But they at least impacted an election. Also: they have good weed.

MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, Nader's the only one that ever seemed angry. Even if the PUMAs had weed, good or otherwise, I feel like all that anger would totally harsh the mellow.

JASON: PUMAs are like al Qaeda, if you could build them a universe on some holodeck to frolic in, shape the way they wanted, they'd happily take that and live there. They're really not all that interested in participating in the building of a nation with the rest of us. They just want their own precious FEELINGS enshrined in the national consciousness. Now, of course, if everything goes according to projection, and McCain loses, we still have to contend with another rough beast, unleashed on America this year, slouching her way toward Washington YOUBETCHA.

MEGAN: Now, that's unfair, Sarah Palin has excellent posture. It's really difficult to slouch in 4 inch heels. Believe me, I've tried. Also, if she appoints herself to Stevens' seat next year, can we comment on the hilarity that the three states with all-female Senate delegations will be California, Maine (assuming Collins pulls it out) and Alaska — and that 4 or those 6 women are Republicans?

JASON: Is that right? Who's the other Maine Senator?

MEGAN: Olympia Snowe.

JASON: Oh, of course! Well, I feel a lot safer with Collins and Snowe in the Senate than I do with Palin, fo sho.

MEGAN: Collins and Snowe are, you know, actual mavericks that don't vote with GWB all the time. Funny how that works.

JASON: Overnight, the McCain camp spit back on the contention made by ABC News, that Palin had basically done this interview with Elizabeth Vargas and had become more or less totally fixated on her future. Team McCain's beef in this is legit.

MEGAN: Yeah, I was reading that. Why the fuck would they do that?

JASON: Why would ABC do that? Who fucking knows. They probably wanted to get in on some of that sweet Palin 2012 action. Make the competitors sick for their big scoop. I don't know. There are obviously, bottom line motivations underpinning these decisions.

MEGAN: Like, helping out Fox News? Proving Mark Salter right about the media?

JASON: Well, now, let's not go sucking Mark Salter's dick just yet!

MEGAN: I can pretty well swear that I will never, ever suck Mark Salter's dick.

Here's the news: Barack Obama will be on the Daily Show tomorrow night!! According to the Comedy Central website, "We just got word that the studio is in full lock down mode. After all, Jon barely escaped his previous interview with this tax-and-spend terrorist of the center-left alive." Wheee!

Campbell Brown [The Daily Show]
Barack Obama To Appear On The Daily Show Wednesday

Earlier: Campbell Brown Turns McCain's Accusation Of Sexism On Its Head

Related: CNN, John McCain's Camp At Odds Following Confrontational Campbell Brown Interview [LAT]

MEGAN: Hey, Spencer, want to talk about sexism for a minute? Because I think the McCain campaign just about got tired of it.

SPENCER: First of all, don't type so loud.

MEGAN: What kind of drinking did you end up doing last night?

SPENCER: I went to Townhouse after leaving Solly's, but by the time I got to Townhouse I was pretty much ready to call it a night. Anyhow. Second of all, you think Campbell Brown is going somewhere else with this, but no!

MEGAN: FREE SARAH PALIN!! I love how Campbell Brown led off with, excuse me while I pull an Olbermann and rant, it's kind of completely awesome. If only she sounded angrier, though. I like my outrage to sound more outraged.

SPENCER: Did you say you want outrage? Outrage this morning?

MEGAN: Why, yes, I feel like I need to get my day started with something and I haven't started brewing coffee...

SPENCER: Then feast on the wellspring of all outrage: the greatest op-ed ever penned. Barbara Ehrenreich in the New York Times paints her fingernails black, turns on Cradle Of Filth and unleashes an argument the country is absolutely unprepared to accept.

GREED — and its crafty sibling, speculation — are the designated culprits for the financial crisis. But another, much admired, habit of mind should get its share of the blame: the delusional optimism of mainstream, all-American, positive thinking.

Wait, what did you say?

The tomes in airport bookstores’ business sections warn against “negativity” and advise the reader to be at all times upbeat, optimistic, brimming with confidence. It’s a message companies relentlessly reinforced — treating their white-collar employees to manic motivational speakers and revival-like motivational events, while sending the top guys off to exotic locales to get pumped by the likes of Tony Robbins and other success gurus. Those who failed to get with the program would be subjected to personal “coaching” or shown the door. The once-sober finance industry was not immune.

I think my dick is hard.

MEGAN: It's too early for me to comment on your erections, so I'll simply say that I love that she's basically like, everyone on Wall Street was a delusional asshole!

SPENCER: Oh but it runs so much deeper than that. The locus for the crisis is within the soul of America. You see, you did this, in a sense: you fell for a comforting delusion, you weak-willed sucker, and you let yourself be exploited — she's saying this in the fucking New York Times! — and now look at yourself.

MEGAN: God doesn't really love you! The universe will never be stacked in your favor!

SPENCER: She goes sooooo far in this direction. By the end of the piece she finds it in her heart to praise the Puritans

Americans did not start out as deluded optimists. The original ethos, at least of white Protestant settlers and their descendants, was a grim Calvinism that offered wealth only through hard work and savings, and even then made no promises at all. You might work hard and still fail; you certainly wouldn’t get anywhere by adjusting your attitude or dreamily “visualizing” success.

MEGAN: If I remember correct, success was actually the only sign that God didn't actually hate you and you might not be going to hell after all.

SPENCER: Here, some would object that Ehrenreich has now hit the bedrock of absurdity. But FUCK THAT. If ever there was a time for some overcorrective excess, it has to be when Henry Paulson pulls a $700 billion figure out of thin air and says the part of his plan that reads "no oversight" really indicates that he "wants oversight."

MEGAN: Which is very 1984 of him.

SPENCER: I think I scrawled this op-ed in Sharpie on my desk at homeroom.

MEGAN: I skipped homeroom for 3 or 4 years in high school. And I never got caught, because I was too "good" to be doing that.

SPENCER: I got suspended. My mom had to take a day off from work and hear from a guidance counselor how I was at risk of joining a cult. But look at me now, asshole.

MEGAN: Yeah, here I am 15 years later and I am still chronically tardy. But at least I don't give a shit about motivational speakers, so I'm not completely deluded.

SPENCER: What to make of Ehrenreich's final graf?

When it comes to how we think, “negative” is not the only alternative to “positive.” As the case histories of depressives show, consistent pessimism can be just as baseless and deluded as its opposite. The alternative to both is realism — seeing the risks, having the courage to bear bad news and being prepared for famine as well as plenty. We ought to give it a try.

This is clearly a cop-out. She spent the previous 700 words arguing that pessimism is realism. I'll bet her editor put this in there, they fought about it for hours, and then she decided that she didn't actually care because God doesn't care.

MEGAN: Well, realism is pessimism to non-pessimists. Pessimists think nihilism is pessimism.

SPENCER: Meanwhile nihilists are beyond such concepts, much as they are beyond your lying, timid morality.

MEGAN: Well, I'm guessing she's no big fan of the Hope campaign.

SPENCER: HAHAHAHAHA yeah Ehrenreich totally isn't voting for Obama. Not that it appears he needs her anymore.

Turmoil in the financial industry and growing pessimism about the economy have altered the shape of the presidential race, giving Democratic nominee Barack Obama the first clear lead of the general-election campaign over Republican John McCain, according to the latest Washington Post-ABC News national poll.

MEGAN: I think the country is no longer filled with optimists anyway:

Just 9 percent of those surveyed rated the economy as good or excellent, the first time that number has been in single digits since the days just before the 1992 election. Just 14 percent said the country is heading in the right direction, equaling the record low on that question in polls dating back to 1973.

SPENCER: Next up: America rejects God. Storm heaven; and unleash hell!

Related: Campbell Brown: Free Sarah Palin [Politico]

ANA MARIE: I AM AWAKE!

MEGAN: Hooray! I am too. Are you appropriately grumpy about it?

ANA MARIE: Could be worse. We could be talking about BLOGGING AND POLITICS.

MEGAN: Like, oh my God, Ana, when are bloggers going to get ethics like real journalists?

ANA MARIE: As soon as we gain enough power to mislead a country into a stupid war.
The best thing about this election so far, I have to say, is not so much that the press has goaded itself into becoming more watchdog-y, but that they're doing the watchdogging with such petulant snarkiness. Almost like bloggers. From the NYT's editorial board blog yesterday:

What’s Spanish for ‘Lies’?
By The Editorial Board

It's "mentiras," I think, but I'm sure that's not the point!

MEGAN: It is way more than I thought, since I was too busy laughing at the thought of the New York Times editorial board getting so upset that John McCain was misleading voters. I guess it's a fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and we'll publish a number of glowing pieces about how Saddam has nukes kind of thing.

ANA MARIE: Almost like he was exaggerating the threats posed by Iraq or something!
Fool me three times and we'll write a snarky blog post! THAT WILL SHOW HIM.

MEGAN: What if all the newspapers became actually snarky? Like, what if they decided that the only way to compete with new media was to out-blog us? Would The Onion have to become an outlet of serious journalism? Would democracy as we know it die? (You did see that article about how cynicism is killing democracy...)

ANA MARIE: WHAT IF NICK DENTON RAN THE NYT? I think we would develop a shortage of first-hand journalism. But EVERYONE would know who Julia Allison is.

MEGAN: You don't need to leave your desk to know stuff, obviously! Wait, are there people who don't know about Julia Allison yet? I thought she was part of the citizenship exam by now.

ANA MARIE: She's actually being launched into space soon. So that she's, like, one of the first things aliens learn about us. You know: Beethoven, math... Julia Allison.

MEGAN: They'll like her better than math, that's for sure. Gawker certainly does.

ANA MARIE: There's some kind of segue between Julia and this about Tucker Bounds, but I'm still coffee-less, so I'll let you make it. They really need to stop sending the twelve-year-old intern out to the morning shows. Or cable shows, I mean. I think I was thinking "morning show" because he's getting his ass kicked, in all cases, by heavily rougued faux-next-girls! GIRLS!

MEGAN: Actually, the man just needs to, like, fucking prepare before he goes. Your candidate is out lying like he's Dick Cheney or something, you gotta put your big boy panties on just like Ari Fleischer did and take it. I think the real problem is that Tucker Bounds likes getting spanked by hot women.

ANA MARIE: YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL. He totally knows the shit the campaign is trying to pull and just enjoys being called on it. "TELL ME AGAIN HOW WE LIE, CAMPBELL. MAKE IT HURT."

MEGAN: "I know I've been naughty, Megyn. Tell me I've been naughty."

ANA MARIE: Oh, breaking!

Senator McCain, on a round of seven morning shows, says on CNBC’s Squawk Box that he favors a 9/11-commission-style body to look into the Wall Street meltdown: “Everybody’s at fault here – the regulatory agencies, who were clearly asleep at the stick … That’s why I think maybe we ought to have a 9/11 commission type thing, because this crisis is very serious and … certainly a threat to our economy. … I understand the economy. I was chairman of the Commerce Committee that oversights every part of our economy. I have a far, far longer record of addressing these issue than my opponent does. And I certainly don’t think we should raise taxes in these difficult times.”

MEGAN: Is oversight a verb?

ANA MARIE: Look, he was a POW, ok? He is allowed to verb anything.

MEGAN: Wait, John McCain was tortured? I didn't know that.

ANA MARIE: Do you think somewhere lying around the WH is a memo entitled, "Wall Street Determined to Strike Inside the US"?

MEGAN: So, by the way, the 9/11 Commission report only took a year to commission and two to write, which means McCain's financial crisis commission will issue its report on the current financial crisis in 2011, which is 2 years before McCain wants to start pulling troops out of Iraq but possibly a little late to have any effect on the deepening financial crisis. But, read his lips: No New Taxes.

ANA MARIE: Speaking of which, I actually wrote someone on the McCain campaign yesterday to ask if the candidate had finished Alan Greenspan's book by now.

MEGAN: And did you get a response that wasn't vetted 15 ways from Sunday?

ANA MARIE: Er, yes.

MEGAN: I wonder if Steve Schmidt has taken away everyone's BlackBerries.

ANA MARIE: Maybe he's just installed some kind of filter. The answer I got was, basically, "Fuck off." It was a little nicer than that.

MEGAN: I think, then, that Steve Schmidt is controlling everyone's BlackBerries.

ANA MARIE: No, Steve would have actually written "Fuck off." He's from Jersey, you know, where that is a term of endearment.

MEGAN: Maybe that's the filter! He types "fuck off" and a computer somewhere translates it into something polite. I could totally use one of those, if they made it into one of those little boxes you use to talk after throat cancer surgery.

ANA MARIE: Speaking of cancer (I'm getting better at segues!): Bristol Palin's tanning bed.

MEGAN: I was just thinking, actually, that Todd looks equally suspiciously tan for the start of winter. But he works outside, if he wanted to submit to a tan line inspection to prove it's not from the bed, I'm happy to judge.

ANA MARIE: Wait, isn't he part Eskimo? Does that make your question racist?

MEGAN: He's like an eighth or something? I have been too busy noticing that he's cute and kind of silent which is how I too prefer the cute men.

ANA MARIE: And I think he's also controlling and a little insane. He's perfect for you!

MEGAN: Insane, definitely! I try to only date the mentally ill, it makes it so much easier to blame the break-ups on them. Controlling, well, that shit just annoys me in about 2 seconds. I dumped a guy once for questioning who I was talking to on the telephone.

ANA MARIE: So you probably wouldn't let him, say, write your state budget, huh?

MEGAN: I probably wouldn't let him know the balance in our joint checking account.

ANA MARIE: So here's a question: What are the gender politics of Todd being so up in his wife's business, as it were?

MEGAN: Well, metaphorically speaking, I am all for Todd being all up in his wife's business.

ANA MARIE: I am actually quite sure that they have hot Christian sex all the time.

MEGAN: But, other than that, it's a little weird on a state level. Especially because state budgets are really complex and stuff, and I don't recall Todd having a degree in public management or accounting. Or anything, really.

ANA MARIE: So when HRC got all up in Bill's (completely literal) business, that was ok... Because she was sharing expertise.

MEGAN: Well, only it wasn't, right? Because then she was a nagging, first-wifely harpy. At least that was the Republican talking point...

ANA MARIE: It was. And now the Dem talking point looks like it might be, "Todd is pulling all the strings, a bullying, first-dudely Machiavelli." From my friend Mike's admittedly amusing Salon piece, out last night:

"No one has accused Todd Palin of interfering in state business for his own personal benefit — instead, the situation has remained somewhat inscrutable, if not odd. According to local politicos and observers, he lurks around the capitol if he doesn't have anything better to do, which, since he works seasonal jobs in oil and fishing, is fairly often."

MEGAN: I love how he's "lurking." And that with 4 and now 5 kids at home, he doesn't have anything better to do.

ANA MARIE: But here's the thing: switch the genders — our standard mode of cultural critique this year, practically so mandatory that I'm thinking Chris and I will just go as each other for Halloween — and what do you think? "Sarah Palin, with 5 kids at home, has no right lurking around her husband's place of work like she has any idea what's going on."

MEGAN: I'm of two minds, as I am with everything else. On the one hand, free advice is good. Free decision-making, not so good.

ANA MARIE: I agree. It's just really awesome to see Rs having to grapple with this. I wrote a piece a couple of months ago about how, along with Woodstock and the moon landing, another major event McCain missed while in prison (yes, he was in a Vietnamese prison! true story!) was the women's movement, which is obviously where a lot of these questions were first framed on a national level. He's totally having to make up for lost time, in a way, but without any of the intellectual or historical work that went into the first round of discussions.

MEGAN: I think a lot of her politicians missed the women's movement in some pretty significant ways.

ANA MARIE: They weren't even really the "first" of course.
Well, yes. But do you get what I mean about how the R's new-found feminism is missing a lot of the context and thoughtfulness that, well, makes it a real argument rather than a talking point?

MEGAN: Well, I think the Republican party's newfound "feminism" is born of, oh, God, too early, what's the word that means you're taking advantage of the situation? Anyway, I think the Republican party hasn't found feminism.

ANA MARIE: You're right. Or, rather, they've just found the word "sexism."

MEGAN: They've found the power of the word sexism to attract a certain class of voters.

ANA MARIE: Well, weirdly, it's not! I mean, HRC supporters ARE NOT flocking to Palin

MEGAN: And they've discovered the sheer joy of Schadenfreude, watching all of this. No, they're not flocking if they are committed Dems, but I think plenty of Hillary supporters weren't committed Dems.

ANA MARIE: The sexism charge is mainly working as a proxy for the standard "media bias" charge. Which is as old as the hills, though not as old as John McCain.

MEGAN: I think the sexism charge is connecting hard with Republican women, bringing up old grievances with feminists and the feminist movement connected to their life choices. The idea that feminists disrespect women who stay home with the kids or are pro-life, those feelings.

ANA MARIE: So, really, they're just co-opting the words. We're not actually having a productive discussion.

MEGAN: It's politics! Productive discussions aren't allowed.

ANA MARIE: Which makes it a perfect time to segue back into Julia Allison!

MEGAN: Um, she called herself a journalist.

ANA MARIE: But, and this is important:

"I don't want people to think that I think I'm Woodward and Bernstein."

Which sort of makes me think she's actually Sarah Palin.

MEGAN: I believe journalism just died. Actually, I think she slunk into its hospital room, climbed on it's bed, slapped it around, smothered it with a pillow and then stabbed it 39 times for emphasis.

ANA MARIE: I was just thinking: I think Julia Allison had sex with journalism, THEN killed it. It's the best end journalism can hope for. It would be much worse to have sex with Woodward and Bernstein before dying.

• Aw! Eva Mendes says it's easy to get all "critical" of yourself when you're on the red carpet but that she doesn't let herself "fall into that" — but that's she also "thankful" for her "nice physique"! Pretty sad if this counts as having positive body image nowadays. [People]
  
• In poor England it's all water, water everywhere not not a drop to drink. [BBC]
  
• Bush is cancer-free, meaning that now Cheney has to cut short his vacation and return to running the country. [CNN]
  
• Oh fuck: Botulism. [CNN]
  
• It's official: Drew Carey's the new host of The Price Is Right. The showcase showdown is dead to us. [11 Alive News]

• Campbell Brown is headed to CNN: Have fun with the chain-smoking witch, kiddies! [USA Today]
• 8.3 million copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sold since 12:01 am on Saturday. [USA Today]
• Memo to ABC News: Posh was joking. [ABC News]
• 7 U.S. casualties identified since Friday. [DoD]