Camilla vs. Beyonce: It's on. [UPI]

The array of whimsical toppers at Ascot's Opening Day, the Oscars of Hats, led us to inaugurate the first annual Arbitrary Hat Awards, cause who doesn't like being gratuitously judgey?

[London, England, June 13. Image via Getty.]

Frances Kissling with Salon has an idea what lesson über-Catholic Mel Gibson's divorce should teach (other than don't grow this goatee). She thinks Mel is why the Pope ought to allow divorce.

[Tetbury, England, December 22. Image via Getty.]

[Paris, November 10. Image via Splash.]

The New England Historic Genealogical Society decided to delve deep into the family trees of the current democratic primary candidates, and boy, did they find out some weird shit. In addition to Dick Cheney, Barack Obama is distantly related to Brad Pitt, George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson,…

[London, December 12. Image via INF.]

Not only are real-life women being forced into impossible standards of thinness, but so are fakes! At the unveiling of her wax figure at Madame Tussaud's, attendees were shocked to see a newfound slimness around the hips in the faux Camilla Parker Bowles. Madame Tussaud's, of course, insists that wax Bowles'…

Are we the only ones who failed to lose our virginity at our high school prom? Even Camilla Parker-Bowles got some at her teenage "coming out" party, says Page Six. According to the gossip column, a British documentary airing tomorrow will report that Camilla "lost her innocence at age 17 at the end of a debutante…