IT'S ALL HAPPENING. Beyoncé launched her Mrs. Carter World Tour in Belgrade, Serbia, wearing what can best be described as an R. Crumb illustration of an outfit.

The California Hamster Organization (Suggested alternate name: Hamsters, Motherfucker™) have accused Justin Bieber of animal cruelty after he gave his little buddy Pac away to a particularly enthused fan. Their objections are that hamsters "often succumb quickly to illness and death," especially when faced with "sudden…

I think it was Tolstoy who wrote, "Happy families are all alike, but Kardashians are all different kinds of bacterial strains of fame-grubber." Here is their Christmas card, which features dearly departed Persian kitten Mercy (RIP) sitting unhappily in something that looks like it came from Ikea and is maybe called a…

• Ellen DeGeneres is starting her own record label!

• Courtney Love once had a "lesbian fling" with Kate Moss. Courtney says:

• Uh-oh: The custody battle between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry might get messy.

• Even before Charlotte Lewis raised more questions about Roman Polanski's continued predation after pleading guilty to statutory rape, Michael Douglas said that he wouldn't sign a petition for him because Polanski "did break the law." [Associated Press]

• Does Beyoncé really have a tattoo on her hand which reads "Brooklyn"?

• The second season of Jersey Shore promises to be action-packed! Saturday night, some guy was less-than-respectful to Snooki and JWoww, so Snickers slapped him, then threw food and booze at him. (He threw a drink on her, too).

• ABC is developing a daytime talk show for Tori Spelling.