• Mini moguls Mary Kate and Ashley are dipping their tiny feet into the world of fashionable footwear. They're teaming up with Steve Madden to add a shoe line to their Elizabeth and James label. [ElleUK]
• Weirdly, model Twiggy's husband calls her Twiggy too. [Daily Express]
• Moddles fall all over the runway on Prada's slippery runway. Try not to enjoy it. [NY Times]
• Following in the steps of such sex symbols as Gorbachev and the Berlin Wall, Sean Connery goes before Annie Leibovitz's lens for Louis Vuitton. [WWD]
• Just saying, if I were running for office, known ass Andre Leon Tally is kind of the last person I'd want carrying a tote with my name all over it, even if it was a DVF original. [Concrete Loop]

• Diesel launches the Diesel car. Doesn't require diesel though. [ElleUK]
• As they say, the rich get richer: cosmetics mogul Laura Mercier sells pad for numerous millions. [Observer]
• Marc Jacobs turns London's black cabs into a "dasiy chain." "In promotion for his floral fragrance Daisy, Jacobs will be adorning black cabs in London with the flower, as well as outfitting the cabs’ interiors with faux daisy fields." One can only assume long-suffering cabbies were not consulted. [BlackBook]
• Remember Bag, Borrow or Steal, which got plugged in the SATC movie when Jennifer Hudson borrowed her fug purses from them? Yeah, here's more about that. [The Street]
• Heidi Klum is very gracious about J.Lo's obvious lying to get out of Project Runway finale. [The Cut via a href="http://www.accesshollywood.com/heidi-klum-on-jlo-missing-runway-finale-she-is-fantastic-i-believe-her_article_11364">Access Hollywood]
• Calvin Klein on fashion's realities: "It's a tough business. It's one that you really have to work at — if you're a very small business, or it's very large. It requires a full commitment. There is no easy way to do this," [Yahoo]
• Prada wants in on the pre-fab millionaire's playground that is Dubai. [IHT]
• David Bowie loans Ziggy Stardust outfit to a pop exhibition. What does he do with it the rest of the time? [Daily Express]
• Despite her involvement with the Freddy Prinze, Jr. vehicle Head Over Heels, Shalom Harlow will be the star of Viktor and Rolf's virtual fashion show. [WWD]
• To make up for flagging sales, luxury retailers focus on their outlet stores. Which are hopefully less depressing as a result. Looking at you, Saks outlet at Woodbury Commons! [Business Week]
• Le sigh. Editrice spawn Julia Restoin-Roitfeld to front British chain Accessorize. [WWD]

• Following his stint as guest editor of Vanity Fair, jack of all trades Tom Ford makes his directorial debut with an adaptation of Isherwood's 1964 novel A Single Man, which will apparently star Colin Firth as said man. Julianne Moore and Jamie Bell are somehow involved. [E]
• Speaking of auteurs, Kate Moss sells a "painting" at auction. "Painted in 2005-2006, it is a self-portrait in lipstick marked with her own lip prints and stains of her former boyfriend Pete Doherty's blood." [Telegraph]
• She used to be a "short, flat-chested, bandy-legged schoolgirl." Weren't they all? [Daily Mail]
• Unlike other awkward schoolgirls, a museum in Paris is doing a retrospective on her life and style.[WWD]

• Andre Benjamin is a huge anglophile, vegetarian. [Guardian]
• J. Crew rips off Gossip Girl aesthetic. They wish they were a parent's worst nightmare. [Deep Glamour]
• For those who enjoy smelling like the dead, House of Creed premieres a new Jackie O. scent, "Love in Black," described as a "violet-Oriental." [Style.com]
• Yay! Everybody loves Issac's line for Liz Claiborne! [Reuters]
• Elton John is finally auctioning that really expensive brooch. "It is designed in the form of the letter J and includes multiple old brilliant cut and baguette cut diamonds. It also features five oval cut sapphires and a bombe cluster of circular-cut sapphires." [Telegraph]
• Calvin Klein names new CEO. [WSJ]
• Madrid Fashion Week KO'd by Milan. [WWD]
• Marc Jacobs' boyfriend shows up somewhere without Marc Jacobs. [Observer]
• Like everyone else in fashion, Burberry inexplicably "optimistic." [Reuters]
• After a stab at going high-end, Nike leaves the elite swimwear market. [AP]
• The Gap acquired women's sporswear brand Athleta. [FT]
• Spanish chain Mango hits Iraq. No, not in the violent sense! [W]
• Suits you can clean in the shower! Hey, that's already how we "iron..." [Reuters]
• Another fashion week, another delightful Andre Leon Tally blooper! Having lost his luggage en route to Milan, the Vogue editor at XXL "had to wear the same Juicy Couture shorts and gray Ralph Lauren polo shirt to D&G this morning that he wore on the plane." [Fashionologie]

• After years of establishing her reliability and commitment to quality, LiLo has gone all weirdly entrepreneurial on us! She's launched her own brand development company. "With Lohan serving as the public face and a source of ideas, Beverly Hills-based Stay Gold LLC is developing merchandise under the label 6126." The merch so far is "leggings." They're developing self-tanner. One can only assume really ratty wigs are on the drawing board. [WWD]
• Now that the industry is getting more diverse, Naomi Campbell's work here is done. “This time they [designers and editors] have stepped it up. I feel positive. That means that I can go soon.” Okay, Siddhartha, you do that. [Times of London]
• The guy who designed Sarah Palin's rimless specs is, in fact, voting for Change. [CNN]
• Which is kinda harsh, really, since his sales have quadrupled since the conventions! [NYDN]

• Apparently Nicole Farhi's moddles all sported Obama buttons on the runway "instead of brooches". Never mind that they're all probably under 18 and Russian! [Style.com]
• This is like Fashion mad libs! Rodarte and Lexus are making a scented candle. Yes. [MediaBistro]
• This new geriatric Sartorialist is like my dream come to life. No, really. 'Advanced Style' "documents street style and fashion of the mature and wizened. Our aim is to take photos of elders with a unique sense of personal style that has developed with age." [NY Mag]
• Have you heard?! Apparently nothing still comes between Brooke Shields and her Calvins! Certainly not carbs. [People]
• "Carolyn Rafaelian is just a small-business-owning single mom with three kids to raise, but the bigwigs at Juicy Couture don't care." They've apparently ripped off this bangle which she sells to Henri Bendel and Saks. Twirling their mustaches, one assumes. [New York Post]
• Even if the girls are too thin, the clothes are great on the new 90210. Wait, why am I saying that like it's an unusual conflict? [Variety]
• Michael Vollbracht swoops in to claim Bill Blass's society-ladies-of-a-certain-age clientele: The collection "was delightfully old-fashioned and completely oblivious to the financial meltdown happening somewhere downtown." [NY Times]
• The life of a "body part model" is a busy one. [Mirror]
• Apparently Viktor and Rolf require chocolates at all their awesome shows. Take off the last part, and they have a lot in common with us. [Dazed Digital]
• Well, fuck. Topshop NYC's not opening until the Spring. [FT]
• For those gals with a season pass on the SATC tour bus, good news: "Select pieces from Patricia Field's Destination Style New York collection can be pre-ordered online before her limited-run HSN line premieres on September 23 for five nights." [Extra]

[New York, September 15. Image via Flynet]

(Click on any image to begin gallery)

• Is Gossip Girl pretty boy Chace Crawford set to replace McDreamy as the face of Versace? [Perez Hilton]
• Fashion slang seems to have no regard for a word's actual meaning: "Designer Ashleigh Verrier said her favorite fashion word was "diaphanous" — an adjective characterizing fineness of texture. 'As in, 'That dress is so diaphanous!'' she said. 'I like 'Glamit'," said fashion designer Marc Bouwer, who uses the term for a fashion line. 'It is so gorgeous and glamorous. You don't want to use cliched words.'Designer Thuy Diep said 'prune"'was popular within her fashion crew to express disapproval." [Reuters]
• Vogue-interning hockey playing fashionisto Sean Avery on who should play him in the rumored movie about him: "'Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit, man. I dunno I dunno I dunno I dunno I dunno. Fuck. I dunno!...I don't know anything. That's what casting guys are for! Shit. No questions!'" Sounds like that'll be some sparkling dialogue! [Radar]

• This is like telling us the Earth is flat! An "expert in visual perception" claims that vertical stripes are actually unflattering! Prune! [Guardian]
• As if her life was not sufficiently charmed, stunning editrice spawn Julia Restoin-Roitfeld is now art-directing! "Casting fellow model and brother Vladimir as the male lead, Restoin-Roitfeld art-directed the campaign from start to finish. The result is a super-sexy music-inspired campaign that lends Rock & Republic's image rock and roll cool." [Daily Mail]
• Eva Mendes is feeling her banned CK ad: "It’s very rock ’n’ roll; I kind of like it. I want to do more. I want keep pushing the envelope.” [WWD]
• Apparently "pushing the envelope" means working on a home decor line with Macy's. "The line, created with Mendes' boyfriend, film producer George Augusto, will be called "Vida" and will initially feature five bedding styles." [Crains]
• High-street brands making token (read: "almost no") effort to improve the conditions of overseas manufacturing. [Guardian]
• More on the kinda heartbreaking Sears Fashion Week tent. [AdAge]
• Embattled retailer Steve & Barry's now getting sinister emails from a supplier: "When customers 'happily shop' at the chain, 'they are actually buying clothes … soaking of blood and tears of worldwide vendors,' one e-mail read." [NYT via a href="http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/12/supplier-has-harsh-words-for-steve-barrys/>The Post]
• In honor of fashion week, Luca Luca executives will ring in the closing bell of the NASDAQ Stock Market. Brokers will almost certainly not care. [WWD]
• After years of giving it short shrift, Calvin Klein focuses on high-end collections again. [WSJ]
• Teen spending down. [Portfolio]
• Gok Wan (the British Carson Kressley) on his idols: "Sarah Jessica Parker - she has amazing style, and when I saw her and Vivienne Westwood [another one of Gok’s favourites] on the red carpet at the same time, I didn’t know whether to throw up or fart - I was so excited!" Why not do both? [Mirror]
• Albino model Shaun Ross breaks the mold. [NYT]
• Things are looking gloomy for French Connection. Has FCUK had its day? [FT]
• Fashion minions give the Nuclear Wintour a piece of their minds - okay, anonymously. "Painter Geoffrey Raymond hawked his portrait of Wintour, dubbed The Annotated Anna, to Bryant Park and asked fashionistas to write a message to Wintour on the canvas. Comments ranged from 'Scaaary!'‚ to the more flattering 'You look great without the sunglasses"' Raymond plans to sell the painting on eBay, with a starting bid of $3,500." Wait, that's the best they can do? Pass that thing around Jezebel! [The First Post]
• This pleases us: fashionistas waiting on line get into the Target "pop-up bodegas." [WWD]
• Tory Burch seeks outside investors for her boho-country club empire. [WSJ]

Okay. The ad in and of itself is not so bad. The product is ridiculous. Why not just put vodka in your root beer, if that's what you want? And who drinks root beer except for kids, anyway? Are you marketing booze to kids? Also, seeing the words "root beer" and "vodka" and "olives" so close to each other makes me want to hurl.

What a vivid nightmare. The gum is so fruity, if you are a Carmen Miranda-ish Carmen Electra-ish woman who puts fruit on her head, you can put the gum there, too! But a bird may land on your face to try and get some gum, so if you don't keep completely still, your face may get ripped off. Enjoy!

What if you don't want to dress like an androgynous robot whose hair defies gravity? Don't buy Calvin Klein!

What if you don't want to feel sad as the time your dog had to be put to sleep because she was getting old and couldn't really walk and you found out it was cancer in her bones? Don't buy Jil Sander!

Maybe I don't "get" Marc Jacobs. But a tattooed dude lying in the dirt doesn't make me want to buy this dress. Or that admittedly cute purse.

I mean, if the dress fits him like that, how the hell would my boobs get in it? To me, this is not "cool." This is "trying too hard to be different."

People are so sweet. They clearly donated new boots and a new bag to this cold, homeless street urchin.

Earlier: Big Hair Is Sexy, Cigarettes Whiten Teeth, Not Having Cellulite Is Awesome

• Poor Rachel Zoe! "I thought: I've done blood, sweat and tears for 15 years — why am I the victim here? I have had the nastiest things said about me! I don't understand." [NY Post]
• Shockingly, the CFDA's "Health Booth" (which educates fashionistas about eating) is deserted. [NY Mag]
• You already knew Sean Lennon was an ass: Spotted at Fashion Week, the modelizer "wore a magisterial women's coat with gold buttons and a top hat decorated with Native American bands. His girlfriend, Charlotte Kemp Muhl, wore a coyote headdress." [NY Mag]
• Justin Timberlake brings pissy back at his William Rast show. [WWD]
• Punk legend Malcolm McLaren accuses son and Agent Provocateur founder Joe Corre of counterfeiting punk duds. "I think my son actually used – maybe – the original labels, because we didn't use them all up...There'd be a roll of ribbon around in the workroom and maybe my son got a hold of those. I think he did this before he set up Agent Provocateur. Or in order to set up Agent Provocateur and fund it, he made a number of these fake clothes and sold them to dealers in Japan." [Independent]

• Speaking of Agent Provocateur: there's a new ad campaign! "Chanelling the gothic decadence of Hogarth, Caravaggio, Rubens and Delaroche’s Execution of Lady Jane Grey, it is a seething orgiastic scene of girls on top, girls on girls and boys and beasts. Peaches (Geldof) and Daisy Lowe, the bad girls du jour, both star, as does the flame-haired American actress Paz de la Huerta, who holds court over a sacrifice of a topless virgin, accompanied by two male cohorts — David Bailey’s Byronesque son, Fenton, and a 21-year-old albino boy named Alex." [Times of London]
• Intrepid fashionistas weather the storm at Fashion Week; Tory Burch even went barefoot! [NY Mag]
• Um, ex-squeeze us? Lifetime, the Project Runway-stealer, is delaying the premiere of the show's sixth season until January 2009. Resentment mounting. [Yahoo]
• Are we the only ones who are totally sick of hockey player/budding fashionista Sean Avery? Now he's decorated some booth at hot spot Beatrice Inn with sunflowers. [Style.com]
• Apparently lacking creativity, designers start predicting trends via computer programs. [NY Times]
• Knockoff jeans even bigger than knockoff bags! [UPI]
• The political tee market is also booming. Yes, Obama's outselling Mac. [NPR]
• The Mulleavy sisters keep their Rodarte label personal and awesome. "In 2005, to introduce themselves to the fashion world, the Mulleavy sisters sent out 30 handmade paper dolls, each with a paper armoire containing seven paper dresses. 'I was inspired by Zelda Fitzgerald’s paper dolls,' explains Kate, who, like Fitzgerald, drew extensively accessorized wardrobes." [NY Times]
• Dolce and Gabbana take their inspiration from Queen Elizabeth: "In place of riotous floral and animal prints, hour-glass corsetry and itsy-bitsy skirts came Argyle knits, oversized kilts that fall to mid-calf, printed silk headscarves and sensible footwear." We are not amused. [The Independent]
• Almost all the shoes we wear are imported, "yet the U.S. still imposes a tax on imported shoes that can reach as high as 67%." [WSJ]
• More PR for Ivory Coast fashion, as Patricia De Medeiros reinvents traditional motifs in her line, Tradition Mode. [Reuters]
• Pat Field's collaboration with British frump-monger Marks and Spencer is a gamble. [Independent]
• Iconic model Veruschka releases coffee table tome: “'I can’t say that I have any favorite photographs,' she said. 'Though I do have some favorite memories of the days they were taken. Working with Avedon, for example, was always a joy. But then it was all joy because that was a joyous time.'” [Style.com]
• Scandal-plagued model Jodie Kidd comes by it naturally: her grandfather tried to bribe Winston Churchill. [This Is London]
• PETA crashes DKNY, does nothing. [NY Mag]
• Following a lackluster start, Halston feels the heat. [WSJ]
• YSL has reformulated (we're guessing this means butch packaging) its Touche Eclat concealer for the metrosexual set. Zac Efron rejoices! [Telegraph]
• The fashionistas heave a sigh of relief that both potential first ladies dig clothes. [Reuters]
• DKNY, CK, battle it out at their runway shows for "most New York" designer. Doesn't Karan automatically win by having "New York" in her name? [Guardian]
• Struggling to define itself, Old Navy shops ad agencies. Remember how cool it was when it opened? Can't they just rehire whoever did that? [AdWeek]

• Punk queen Vivienne Westwood is releasing her first album! Well, sort of. "Conceptualised, compiled and art-directed by the designer personally, the album - which is being released by Mercury Records - features 16 of the favourite songs of fashion's grande dame, which, in typical Westwood style, are anything but predicable; think Last Night Was Made For Love by Billy Fury alongside Tchaikovsky's Waltz of the Flowers." [VogueUK]
• The fact that Christina Aguilera seems so totally stable these days doesn't bode well for her new fragrance, "Inspire." Aguilera says the scent "is a natural extension of herself." But who wants to smell like happily-married mom without a substance abuse problem these days? [USA Today]
• It's official! Debbie Phelps has signed an endorsement deal with Chico's! [WSJ]
• Kate Moss returns to the catwalk after four years! Again: Well, sorta. "Kate grabbed a top hat and cane to join Beth Ditto of The Gossip in the show which was hosted by Scissor Sisters' singer Ana Matronic, and attended by a cheering posse of the model's friends including boyfriend Jamie Hince." [This Is London]

• "Even as you read this, New York Fashion Week, debuting the spring 2009 collections, is unfurling on the Bryant Park runways, all but oblivious to the fact that most Americans are too busy choosing between food and fuel to worry about foulards versus fan pleats." [Village Voice]
• Menswear designer takes a page from Italian Vogue: "Carlos Campos is showing his first women's collection Monday during Fashion Week, and he's just announced he'll use only black models in the runway show at the Altman Building." Great, but ultimately can't using a mix of models just become standard? [NY Mag]
• Does footwear herald changes in Republicanland? "Mrs. Bush opted for comfortable, unexciting slingbacks while Mrs. McCain went with considerably higher, coquettish black peep-toe pumps." Palin, of course, favors Ferrari-red heels. [Observer]
• In other sartorial convention news, conservatives, unsurprisingly, dress conservatively. "No untamed hair, no rumpled, loose-fitting skirts and trousers made from varying blends of linen, hemp and flax. On men, no shirttails hanging out or low-slung, baggy shorts and pants." [StarTribune]
• In Britain, meanwhile, female politicians stay resolutely dowdy. [Telegraph]
• Lauren Conrad: down but not out! The plucky polymath has some fall designs back up on her site. [OhNoTheyDidn't]
• Designer Yigral Azrouel branches into condoms: “Having grown up with five sisters, causes related to women’s health and wellness are close to my heart. I love being able to apply my passion for design to raise awareness for Planned Parenthood®. My business is largely founded on designing for women, so it is really about taking that mindset and applying it to a product like PROPER ATTIRE® to figure out what appeals to a woman." I guess they've given up on condoms appealing to men. [NY Mag]
• We're mad at Target for dropping Isaac Mizrahi, but maybe he'll jazz up Liz Claiborne? [WWD]
• Ethically-produced jeans have made the leap from worthy to wearable. [Guardian]
• Yet another college comes to its senses: UNC drops out of Victoria's Secret college line. [USNews]
• Check it: the Gisele for Max Factor ads. [People]
• More deets on the Vena Cava/Via Spiga collab! [Sassybella]
• We bring peace to the Middle East! And by "peace" I mean "Payless Shoes." [WSJ]
• Calvin Klein's successor Francisco Costa: “I never thought of filling anybody’s shoes...That was never a consideration. Calvin did what he did. Am I Calvin? Absolutely not. Am I respecting the label? Yes. Am I doing what I am supposed to do? I think I am. Am I respecting myself? Yes. Am I having fun? Yes. Do I like being here? I love being here." [WWD]
• Is he responsible for CK's astronomical growth? [WWD]
• We all know how designers love playing editor! (see: Tom Ford.) "For Elle's October issue, The London Issue, four British designers have created their ultimate Elle covers." They include Luella Bartley, Giles Deacon, Gareth Pugh, and Matthew Williamson. [ElleUK]

Remember that when she started, with those famous shots by Corinne Day in The Face, Kate Moss was 15 years old. (She says of that shoot: "Corinne just wanted to bring out everything that I hated when I was 15. My bow legs, the mole on my breast, the way I laughed.") But by 1994, she was earning $2.6 million a year with contracts for Gucci, Louis Vuitton and, of course, Calvin Klein. Her rail-thin body sold jeans and fragrance, and became an "Obsession," to say the least. Previous supermodels, like Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell, were in possession of a more "robust" physique. But Kate Moss ushered in a new style. It started out as shocking, but everyone adjusted, and looking back, she doesn't even seem so skinny anymore! So. Thin was in, and it stayed stylish. Ms. Freeman writes: "In the next issue of Interview magazine, Moss admits that at times she was too thin: 'When I was doing shows ... nobody ever fed me. I didn't eat for a long time. Not on purpose ... I remember standing up in the bath one day, and there was a mirror in front of me, and I was so thin! I hated it. I never liked being that skinny.' Hilariously, the journalist, confirming all cliches about the fashion press, interrupts: 'I didn't think you were all that skinny.' But Moss stands admirably firm: 'I remember thinking, I don't want to be this skinny.'"

When a tipster sent us the link to the Guardian story (which was already on our radar) with the comment: "Kate Moss is the new Che Guevara. Ahem." I sort of rolled my eyes. But actually, the tipster, Hadley Freeman and Kate Moss are right: The fashion industry needs a revolution. And the chances of things being changed by someone from the outside are — forgive me — slim. Only someone who has been granted access into the inner sanctum, who is well-respected, who has worked in the trenches, who knows all the players and knows the game can actually make an impact. Will a post-coke scandal, open-about-starving-herself Kate Moss be the one? Can Kate Moss be a revolutionary in whole new way?

Only The Clotheshorses Can Buck Fashion's Thin Fixation, Fashion Industry Made Me Too Thin, Says Kate Moss [Guardian]

• Whom to believe?! Page Six? "Marc Jacobs is a newlywed. The designer and his hot Brazilian love, Lorenzo Martone, were married in a civil solidarity pact Sunday in France. "He's totally excited," said an insider. "He said he's head-over-heels in love with Lorenzo. His life is coming together now." Civil solidarity pacts were instituted in France in 1999, but they are not legally binding. Jacobs isn't taking his honeymoon yet - he's busy with his show for New York Fashion Week in September." [Page Six]
• ...or Perez Hilton?! "Despite erroneous reports to the contrary…Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that design god Marc Jacobs and his hot new Brazilian boyfriend did not get married in Paris on Sunday. However, insiders close to the couple tell us that M.J. and Lorenzo Martone (pictured above) are "very happy" together." They're both such infallible sources! [Perez Hilton]
• Model Jodie Kidd on being busted for drugs by the tabloids: "I was just someone minding their own business, plodding on in life. They had no need to do it because I'm not a bad person. I was very shocked. It was totally out of the blue," [Telegraph]

• Legendary model Lauren Hutton for Brit chain Mango. [ElleUK]
• Nelly is the new face — body? — of Sean John undies. Says Diddy, "To me, Nelly is the quintessential definition of the Sean John man. He has the attitude, the swagger, and most of all the physique that our customers can both aspire and relate to. And let’s be honest, all of the ladies out there are going to be thanking us for this campaign. The images are so strong; they speak for themselves. We are truly excited to welcome Nelly into the Sean John family.” [Concrete Loop]
• Apparently eager to break into the hideous shoe/sneaker hybrid market, Nine West and New Balance are teaming up. [Wall Street Journal]
• Ralph Lauren's Olympics uniforms? Exactly how you'd imagine 'em done by the king of fake-prep: "The opening-ceremony look consists of classy navy blazers with white driving hats and canvas walking shoes; for the closing ceremonies, it's classic polos and sleeveless sweaters." [The Cut]
• And they're apparently a good co to invest in. You know, if you have spare money. [The Street]
• Perfumers Society honors Bath and Body Works pres as "a living legend." [WWD]
• Stila knows what young women care about: lipstick! Voting? Not so much. But if you buy this Rock the Vote Red lipstick! a portion of your purchase goes to Rock the Vote, which got exactly no one to vote last time around. [Allure]
• Roberto Cavalli is waffling on whether to sell shares of his company. [Portfolio]
• Architect Zaha Hadid is collaborating with green Brazilian footwear brand Melissa. "The curvature of the limited-edition shoe is familiar from many recent projects by Zaha Hadid Architects, including the new London Aquatic Centre. "The fluidity of our design combined perfectly with the technology of Melissa's plastic, injecting pieces without closures or seals," says Hadid. " [Dazed Digital]
• Coach profits climb, defying recession. [WWD]
• Calvin Klein and Donna Karan are in Africa. The end. [Fashion Week Daily]
• So, because we're in a recession, we should be dressing like 1930s newsies. My finance friend says that this is actually far more like the recession of the 1970s, economically speaking, so I'm sticking with my maxis. [Newsbusters]
• Retailers struggling with "toughest selling season." [WWD]
• Artist Damien Hirst buys 80,000 pounds' worth of fake punk clothing online. Caveat emptor! [VogueUK]

All of the items are from H&M.

First item: Sleeve-less mid-thigh length dress made from 100% silk (I know!) and retailing for $69.90. The simple design made me think it would do best as a Calvin Klein item.

Second item: High-waisted and below-the-knee skirt made from polyester and retailing for $49.90. I took a look at Anna's grab-bag of mid-90s designer labels and decided that this item could be pulled off as a Donna Karan piece.

Third item: Knit tank-top made from polyester and silk and retailing for $34.90. I could just imagine a wealthy northern Italian woman lounging around in this top, so Gucci for this one.

Fourth item: Sleeve-less polyester top with tie around the waist retailing for $29.90. This top seemed very much like something you would find in the window of some girly boutique that is featured in Lucky, thus Pamela Barish seemed like a good fit.

First stop: Tokio 7:
After mulling around for a few minutes, trying to get the attention of the staff while knee-deep in the most horrendous/fabulous collection of mid-90s designer items, I finally get someone to look at my offerings. The buyer, a Japanese man in his forties, runs down the consignment policy about 50 times which I pretty much ignore because, obviously, I'm not actually trying to sell this stuff. The "Pamela Barish" top is up first: he asks me who the designer is and then gets into a lengthy conversation with another saleswoman in Japanese. I start to sweat bullets, thinking that the jig is up, but he announces that he would sell the top for $60, the "Donna Karan" skirt for $180, and the "Gucci" top for $80. His eyebrows raise a couple times when looking at the "Calvin Klein" dress but he ultimately he gives me a number of $250. Wow!

Second stop: Cadillac's Castle:
Feeling confident that my items passed the taste test at Tokio 7, I head over to Cadillac's Castle with a spring in my step. There, my attention is drawn to a Proenza Schouler for Target dress on a rack selling for $45. (It retailed for $35). I also notice a few dusty Century 21 items (red dot on the tag!) selling for a couple hundred dollars. A salesclerk directs me to the buyer, a forties-ish woman with blue eyeliner and that I-used-to-party-with-Andy-Warhol-but-now-I-take-Pilates-classes-in-the-Village kind of look who smirks in self-satisfaction as she pulls the corners of the tags on all my items off with almost no effort — and those things took me 8 hours to sew on! — and tosses them back to me. The salesclerk looks on with a mixture of anger and horror. (Perhaps they learned their lesson after the last time we made a visit?) As I walk out of the store I hear the woman say loudly, "I mean come on, right?" I feel a bit shaken and defeated, but whatever. Onward and eastward!

Third Stop: Beacon's Closet:: Okay, so this Williamsburg store isn't exactly a "high-end consignment store," but they have a pretty large collection of designer items, so, when I heard my friend would be making an appearance with some goodies of her own to sell, I threw in my items with hers and tagged along. The rail-thin hipster girls that looked through our items toss out a majority of my friend's items, giving monotone excuses like "we already have too many tops in this size," but they take a majority of my friend's H&M and Forever 21 castoffs. Finally my items appear. One of the girls carefully inspects the back of the dress and skirt (checking for period stains, perhaps?) and then says she would sell the "Calvin Klein" for $39.95 and the "Donna Karan" for $18.95. After engaging in a small tug-o-war with the buyer when I try to retrieve the goods, she tells me she could sell the "Gucci" top for $19.95 and the "Pamela Barish" top for $12.95. Interestingly, even though Beacon's Closet's buyers are known for being snobby and a bit off-putting, they seem a lot more interested in the actual items than the labels. In fact, they offer more for one of my friend's H&M summer jackets than any of my "designer" pieces. Hrmph!)

The Final Tally:
• H&M dress (original price, $69.90) masquerading as Calvin Klein: 2 for 3 with a top price of $250.
• H&M knit tank top (original price, $34.90) masquerading as Gucci: 2 for 3 with a top price of $80.
• H&M blouse (original price $29.90) masquerading as Pamela Barish: 2 for 3 with a top price of $60.
• H&M skirt (original price $49.90) masquerading as Donna Karan: 2 for 3 with the a top price of $180.

Earlier: Label Whores Head To Tampa
Label Whores Hit The East Village

• Vivica A. Fox is going to be the host of a new VH1 series called Glam God, in which the actress, who is known for her amazing style (??), will be searching for the next celebrity stylist. I can’t wait to see another reality show winner do absolutely nothing while everyone else on the show tries to one up Jerry Springer factor. I hope there’s a really good gay man or at least someone with a weave to yank on. [ConcreteLoop]
• Getting Gay With Bags is Here! Marc Jacobs completes his special handbag for twink-blogger Bryanboy (the bag is called “the BB”) and Bryanboy gets really excited and…whips himself? [Gawker]
• Designer Claudia Escobar has made a luxury clothing line out of salmon skin. "Many people who lived near rivers and oceans have used fish throughout history. It's not my original idea," she says. [Reuters]
• Mischa Barton’s created a line of handbags, coming to London’s John Lewis, Debenhams and Fenwicks stores on July 2nd. Why not make handbags for the United States, Mischa? Is the dollar too weak, or is it that we just don't give a shit? [FabSugar]

• Marc Jacobs keeps it simple at London design school Central Saint Martins: "I can't bear it when designers go on about inspiration … If a girl wants to wear it and feels good then who cares?" Say what you will about his shortcomings, but over-thinking fashion is not one of them. [NYMag]
• Agyness Deyn (aka The New Kate Moss) supposedly bought a loft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (aka The New Lower East Side). I guess I'm supposed to write something about how "lame" that is for the neighborhood, but it actually seems pretty obvious to me. [Perez Hilton]
• Sarah Larson, George Clooney’s waitress girlfriend, graces Bazaar's 50 Most Beautiful People feature. Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s not a waitress anymore. Take a look at the Pretty Woman here. [Models.com]
• Oh Crocs! What can’t you do? Inventor Spot reports that now there’s a special little Croc that can be used to carry a cell phone. This of course, is happening in Japan, where soon they’ll be inventing a pair of Crocs for your Crocs, as well as a Crocs reality show where the winner gets to turn into a Croc and sweep the nation yet again. [InventorSpot]
• Urban Outfitters, best known for its BoHo dresses, ironic tees, and teeny tiny dressing rooms, has always made us feel safe in our left-wing ways. Except, of course, the owner of the chain hates gay people and gives money to George W. Bush. [Racked]
• Busted! Now we know where some of the best American designers (Ralph Lauren, Mark Jacobs, Calvin Klein) go to get their clothing made. [NYTimes]
• New York Rangers hockey player Sean Avery talks about his Vogue internship, Anna Wintour, and photocopying. [MollyGood]
• Louisville, Kentucky porn shops “Victor’s Secret” and “Victor’s Little Secret”) settle the lawsuit brought by Victoria’s Secret for trademark violation. The store is now called “Cathy’s Secret” which, you know, doesn’t really have the same (cock) ring to it. [MSNBC]
• “Having streaked, chipped or just plain grotty nail polish no longer suggests drug addiction, manual labor or pure laziness,” writes Melena Ryzik for The New York Times. I have been waiting YEARS for this to become acceptable! Thank you Olsen Twins and Vogue model Cindy McCain! [NYTimes]

I'll wear this one to my garden party.
I'll wear this to my piano recital.
And this is what I'll be wearing when I fire my first employee!
I wish this dress had pockets, for I'll need easy access to all the condoms I'm gonna need that night.
This black number is a pretty big deal, but you have to wear it like it's not.
I would get married in this.
I WILL get married in this.

• OMG: Rachel Zoe has been disinvited from the Anna Wintour-hosted Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala, taking place Monday night in New York. This is what you get when you tempt the gods and proclaim yourself more important than Vogue. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Also, Wintour has instructed Vogue staffers that they may only wear white, silver, or other "pale shades." Just like the colors of faces that she likes to see on her magazine's cover! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• French Vogue editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld and designer/Chanel creative director "Krazy" Karl Lagerfeld were both named to the Time 100 List, as influential members of the fashion community. Something about the way they both made fashion about "the street" or something. [Vogue UK]
  
• Gisele Bundchen is still the top-paid model, according to Forbes. Heidi Klum is the second. Take that, Moss. [Sassybella]

• Agyness Deyn: The mannequin. [BlackBook]
• The Rogan for Target collection is also going to be sold at Barneys. Which is not Target at all. [WSJ]
• Steve & Barry's is going to be shilling Sex and the City movie merchandise, which will be licensed for the store under Sarah Jessica Parker's "Bitten" label. [Sassybella]
• Uh oh: Seems the women behind the red carpet label Marchesa are having a bit of a tiff. While Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig used to be knows as the label's "co-designers", their titles have been changed on their website: Chapman is now listed as "designer" and Craig is noted as "co-founder." [Page Six]
• Dockers: Trying to reach out to the hip and the young. LOL. [MediaPost]
• Christian Siriano: Designed a dress for Puma. [Chic Report]
• Helena Christensen on why she loves photographer Peter Lindbergh: "Even when I looked pretty funny back in the day with my baby fat, perm, and hippie clothes, he put me on the cover of British Vogue!" Oh, models. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The latest beauty tool you didn't know you needed: An eyelash comb. [BellaSugar]
• The Versace resort in Dubai is... sorta exactly what you would expect a Versace resort in Dubai to be. [Chic Report]
• Diane von Furstenberg, Dolce & Gabbana, Oscar de la Renta, Akira Isogawa, the members of Coldplay, Jeff Koons, Philippe Starck and Tory Burch have all been asked to create "themes" for iGoogle's new customized homepage thingies. [Sassybella]
• Vanessa Paradis: The new face of Miu Miu? [Glaumrama]
• Calvin Klein went on a little field trip to Dubai last week. Blah blah, models behind plexiglass. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jones New York: Stock is up, profits are down. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Kohl's: Gonna slow down its expansion plan 'cause their scared of the economy. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• If you want to wear a pantsuit, make sure it's not double-breasted. [WSJ]
• Blue's Clues's: The shoes — at a Payless near you. [BrandWeek]

Cindi Leive, editor in chief of Glamour, doesn't really understand what the big deal is either. She said at an event held by Mediabistro idiotically titled "Skirts, Slacks and Supper": "I think it's a bit hypocritical how up in arms everybody is about it because clearly girls are sexualized far too early in this culture all the time, so we look at that one, I agree, relatively tame picture and we're suddenly so shocked, shocked! It seems a little disingenuous."

Speaking of disingenuousness, blogger Auntie Fashion posted a picture of then-17-year-old model Behati Prinsloo in a see-through shirt, walking down the runway in Lagerfeld. Auntie was outraged when he realized that the girl was under age, and asks, "Where were this child's parents when she was walking down the runway in a see-through top. Where were her agents? Where was Karl Lagerfeld?"

Maybe ol' Karl was checking out Disney billboards in China, looking for his next runway star. According to Daniel Brook at Slate in Beijing he spotted a billboard showing " a white girl who looked all of 12, reclining in a matching bra-and-panties set adorned with Disney's signature mouse-ear design. In a particularly creepy detail, the pigtailed child was playing with a pair of Minnie Mouse hand puppets. In the upper left-hand corner was the familiar script of the Disney logo." When Brook notified Disney, they were horrified — apparently they license Disney products to a third party, and with thousands of such third parties, they don't have the time to comb through every piece of advertising that gets created. Brook, however, was reassured by Disney execs that the offending billboard would be taken down immediately.

The age of consent in China is 14, a year younger than Miss Miley. Even with the big hullabaloo about Miley's Vanity Fair pics, the media will continue to sexualize teenagers especially as long as the "ideal" body type to many is one possessed mostly by the under 18-set. And it might not ultimately ruin Miley's life anyway. Brooke Shields' Calvin Klein ads from 1980 made her a cultural icon, and she doesn't seem to regret them one bit. "The response] was immediate," Shields told VF in last month's issue. "It was me and the jeans. We were inseparable. I didn't do a television show without that being in my bio. I didn't go on the street without somebody saying, 'Got your Calvins on?' People still come up to me and mention it."

'We Like Our Venuses Young' [Guardian]
To Timberlake, Or Not To Timberlake? The Debate [Portfolio]
Mickey Mouse Operation [Slate]
Double Standards [Auntie Fashion]
Calvin To The Core [Vanity Fair]

Earlier: Is Tween Titillation More Offensive Than Casual Racism?
Miley Cyrus Is Not The Innocent Victim That Disney Makes Her Out To Be

• Frances Bean Cobain is rumored to be the next face of Chanel. That's hot. And also crazy. Oh, Karl. [Vogue UK]
  
• Louis Vuitton has postponed indefinitely its "China Run" car rally, which was originally scheduled to take place in late May with a route from Chengdu and Kunming. Reason? Um, it's not exactly cool to be supporting China's blatant disregard for human rights right now and France is all pissed re: the Olympics etc etc. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also, Yohji Yamamoto wants to teach China about Peace and improve relations though the country and his native Japan through his new Yohji Yamamoto Fund For Peace. This will mainly involve fashion shows. Of course. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also China's on the warning list for counterfeiting shit. Oh, China. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Tommy Hilfiger, ambiguously racist? Says the designer, "[W]e feel that with our European-influenced approach, the sophisticated and higher level of quality and fashion somehow reaches the type of people who represent the brand very well... Ten years ago it was positioned with a lot of red, white and blue and a lot of logos and you would look at these street kids wearing the clothes as billboards." [FT]

• Elle still hasn't confirmed that fashion director Nina Garcia was fired, but Nina's assistants, Jade Frampton and Malina Joseph, just got big promotions, with Frampton taking the title of market editor and Joseph that of bookings editor. Senior style editor Kate Lanphear has been promoted to style director and rumors abound that she might be up for the fashion director gig herself. Can someone tell us the difference between a style director and a fashion director? The real difference, that is? That's what we thought. [WWD, 4th item]
• Um, but these promotions seem to be a result of the fact that bookings editor Claudine Ingeniri and market editor Helane Crowell have left the magazine. Associate art director Florence Sicard has also left. [WWD, 4th item]
• Anna Wintour's new assistant is named Claiborne Swanson. She comes from the Swanson-as-in-chicken-breasts family. Also, she must be a masochist to have taken this job. [NYMag]
• Okay, so here's what the rumor mill is reporting regarding who will come with whom at next Monday's Costume Institute Gala, hosted by George Clooney, Julie Roberts, and Anna Wintour: Giorgio Armani with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez with Alberta Ferretti, Kate Bosworth with Chanel, and Eva Mendes, Rachel Bilson and Fergie with Calvin Klein. Mariah Carey, Renée Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Moss, Mary J. Blige, Claire Danes, Mischa Barton, LeBron James, Valentino, Tom Ford, Domenico Dolce, Stefano Gabbana and Donatella Versace will all be there too. [WWD, 1st item]
• The Wall Street Journal names Proenza Schouler, Peter Som, Zac Posen, Rodarte, Derek Lam, 3.1 Phillip Lim and Tuleh as the seven young designers to watch because they're thisclose to breaking mainstream. Um, they already have. Way to be up on the times, WSJ. [WSJ]
• Deep thoughts with Entourage's Emmanuelle Chirqui, "Why not wear something fabulous and save the environment at the same time?" [WWD, 2nd item]
• Rami Kashou: You can buy it online! [Sassybella
• Glasses are hot, Lasik eye surgery be damned. [WSJ]
• Men: Wearing jewelry. [LATimes]
• High-heeled Crocs: Oh. God. [Crocs]

• "I go to the same Starbucks every day in Beverly Hills and they're like, 'Can you please tell them that we want to have new outfits?'...I sit in American Airlines, same thing. I get it all the time. Those chains or big companies, they always come to me." Imagine: the entire American service industry remade in the image of Heidi Klum! [Sassybella]
  
• Every time we read an interview with Kate Bosworth, she talks about high school and sort of ups the ante in terms of the profound alienation she supposedly felt there. Here's the latest installment. [Vogue UK]
  
• "Four kids later, I'm a 32D, but my entire life I was told I was a 34B." And there you have things we never wanted to know about model-cum-Interview fashion director Stephanie Seymour. [Chic Report]

• Best protest sign outside of the new John Varvatos store in the old CBGB's space: "$1,600 used jackets destroy communities." [Does someone still care about CBGB closing, is that the issue here? Because guess what, guys, there's a global food crisis on and Al Qaeda is bombing countries you've never heard of, stagflation is upon us and we're in danger of electing a president who doesn't know the difference between Sunni and Shiite, so get over it, thanks. -Moe] [Fashion Week Daily]
• Fun contest! Giorgio Armani is sponsoring a contest where the little people can pitch him concepts for the new ad campaign for his latest fragrance. Ten finalists get to meet Mr. Armani, though only one will have their ideas usurped for the perpetuation of Mr. Armani's own wealth. [Vogue UK]
• Why isn't one of the options for this "Do You Wear Religious Symbols" poll "Only as tattoos"?! [FabSugar]
• "Wow! It just seems like the next step to our larger goal. Every time we conceive a collection, we try to think of all the elements that would go along with our designs. And bags are next! We want to conquer that next year," says Proenza Schouler's Lazaro Hernandez. Oh really, bags! What a novel idea. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Says Duckie Brown co-designer Steven Cox, "I've always had this fantasy of making a dress out of bricks." Aren't you just ill that Duckie Brown only does menswear? [Washington Post]
• Apparently there is no "right" hemline this season, but if there were, it would involve pairing a long skirt with a long sweater. We don't make the news, we just report on it! [Guardian]
• The color blue: It's important. [Washington Post]
• Showing off your baby bump is so totally out of fashion. Duh. [IHT]
• Crocs is shutting down its factory in Quebec City, meaning 669 people now are out of work. Which also means there is a whole new demographic of people who really hate Crocs! [NYT]
• I actually don't believe anything I read about ELLE's fledgling reality show (which may or may not be titled Fashionista) anymore, but some say that editors at the mag are calling in sick to avoid having to work on it. [Jossip]

[Calvin Klein & Karl Lagerfeld depart Waverly Inn; New York, March 17. Image via Splash.]

• Kate Moss's fifth collection for Topshop launches today. It's inspired by "travel." Oh, bite me. [Vogue UK]
  
• Spanx bras — to flatten your back fat, of course — in stores now! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• You will be so proud of Eva Mendes! She overcame that whole nasty rehab debacle to be chosen as the face of Calvin Klein underwear. Yay Eva! And yay Calvin Klein for taking a chance on a star who is trying to overcome adversity. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin has extended her evil empire to include a lingerie line (entitled, sickeningly, "Pussycat Dolls...shhh") and a costume jewelry line. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Nicole Richie doing a maternity line? Why, God, why? [LATimes]

• Marc Jacobs and his histrionic boyfriend Jason Preston are fighting again. [Page Six]
• "I feel like Beyoncé is a very good image for what I do. She's the woman that I present. I adore women with curves," says designer Elie Saab. We remain skeptical. [Fashion Week Daily]
• I know I'll sleep better tonight knowing that Lord & Taylor has achieved its life-long dream of stocking Juicy Couture. [IHT]
• Also, knowing Victoria Beckham owns ten different Hermes Birkin bags, all in different colors. [Sunday Mirror]
• Evangeline Lilly is the face of Davidoff Cool Water Women. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Bindi Irwin's children's clothing line on sale everywhere... well, in Australia. [News.com.au]
• Paris Hilton: Inspiration to Indian fashion designers. [Reuters]
• Gap has once again commissioned supercool designers to design limited-edition white shirts for the chain. 3.1 Phillip Lim, Band of Outsiders, Michael Bastian, Philip Crangi and Threeasfour have all signed on for the project, sponsored by Vogue and the CFDA. It seems like only yesterday they were doing this for the very first time! I have only written approximately 3.1 x 10²⁹ words on this site since then. [WWD, sub req'd]
• No, light-up packaging scares me. [BellaSugar]
• Our favorite model-blogger Erin O'Connor is now preparing to make a documentary about the fashion industry. $10 says everyone comes off looking ethical and well-groomed. [Daily Mail]

Womenswear Designer of the Year: Designer: Marc Jacobs Known for: Running late, reviving punk, loving Victoria Beckham and Sponge Bob SquarePants, equally Seen on: Posh, natch. Also: Winona Ryder, Courtney Love, M.I.A., and every starlet under the sun Odds of winning: 2:3 (I mean, the guy had a nervous breakdown and put out two radically different collections this year. Plus, he got CFDA prez Diane von Furstenberg to say that she would chain herself to a grate before she let him show in Paris)

Designer: Francisco Costa for Calvin Klein Known for: Keeping it simple, being a nice guy Seen on: Ashley Olsen, Kate Bosworth, ELLE editor-in-chief Roberta Myers Odds of winning: 1:3 (Won in 2006 — doesn't really need to win again)

Designer: Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough for Proenza Schouler. Known for: Intricate bustier dresses, being style chameleons, being child prodigies Seen on: Amy Adams, Isla Fisher Odds of winning: 1:3 (Won last year, but tied with Oscar de la Renta. Is this their year to not share the spotlight?)

Swarovski Womenswear Designer of the Year: Designer: Kate & Laura Mulleavy for Rodarte Known for: Gauze-strewn punk fairy dresses; being "intellectual" Seen on: Natalie Portman Odds of winning: 1:3 (Might be too intellectual and not practical enough for the fickle fashion world.)

Designer: Thakoon Panichgul Known for: Wares that resemble the love-child of a hippie and a minimalist Seen on: Top fashion editors, young fashion assistants who blow an entire fiscal quarter's pay on one piece Odds of winning: 2:3 (The vet of the young designer set. He'll probably be rewarded for his good behavior)

Designer: Alexander Wang Known for: Being a punk rock outlaw Seen on: 15-year old Estonian models Odds of winning: 1:3 (The young whippersnapper just got into the game — they're going to make him work for a statuette)

[Photos via AP, Getty, and ELLE.com]

• Who will win the Council of Fashion Designers of America's Womenswear Designer of the Year award, the "Best Picture" of fashion? The nominees are: Marc Jacobs, Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein, and Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough of Proenza Schouler (who tied last year with Oscar de la Renta.) Bets? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Oooh and Fran Lebowitz will emcee the awards themselves on June 2. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Ok, so now Waris Dirie is saying she was abducted and assaulted while she was missing in Brussels. And treated like "prostitute" by police. She originally said she was just, like, lost. Her manager says she was in shock. [Telegraph,