Close readers of this space will recall that for several years now, I’ve dreamed of modeling for the German Carponizer calendar, which is a calendar featuring photos of nude women posing seductively with fish. I’m sorry to share that for the third year in a row, I will not be featured in the Carponizer calendar,…
To the senior citizens of Pleasant Pointe Assisted Living Home,
To the Publishers of Nicki Minaj's 2015 Calendar,
To Whom It May Concern at Carponizer, makers of high quality carp equipment,
To Whom It May Concern at the Bavarian Farmers Association,
Forget sexy firefighters calendars. Real connoisseurs of beefcake know this year is all about the sexy NYC cab driver.
The Contilia Retirement Group in Essen, Germany created a calendar, using their residents as models striking poses as some of Hollywood's most iconic movie characters.
Earlier this month, someone stole $2000 worth of "racy" calendars from a kiosk in the Metro Atlanta Mall of Georgia. But this wasn't your average shoplifting job: The thieves left behind placards saying "Sorry, misogyny is out of stock," "the female body is not a commodity," and, yes, "fuck the patriarchy."
You better be careful when choosing a hot-dude calendar because, unlike real life sexy men, you have to keep it around for a whole year. The good news is that sexy men calendar makers are starting to catch on that what women like more than sexy men is humor and, above all, cute animals.
A male alum photographed female students at an elite journalism school to honor Vladimir Putin's birthday. Taglines include, "They put out the forest fires, but I'm still burning" and "Vladimir Vladimirovich, can I be your co-pilot?" See, it's about partnership!