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Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
Beyoncé In Cadillac Records: "Volcanic And Voluptuous"
Beyoncé Lets Jay-Z Just Walk All Over Her (Dress)
Beyoncé: Perfect Posture, Pee-Pee Stance
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cirocco
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
And I'm sure there's a parallel story where a grizzled, weather-beaten bad lady somehow lands an attractive, successful man young enough to be her son. And he doesn't mind at all that she abandoned her previous family--she needed her freedom! And he's fine with her publicly writing about how she often pines to get away from this swell guy, who was willing to look past her appearance and history, and live in a shopping cart instead. And we all stroke our chins and say, "Hmm, makes you think," instead of, "What the fuck is he thinking? He's an attractive, successful man young enough to be her son! What the fuck does he see in her?"

Sure, that story is out there. Sure it is.
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cirocco
04/02/09

@cirocco: Bag lady, not bad lady. Sorry, my bag. Er, bad.
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lavenderstain
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
wow.. I wish I could find a white collar professional to support me and get me off the streets...THEN have the luxury to bitch about it...

this guys a winner.
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Hiroine Protagonist
04/02/09

@lavenderstain: Calling it bitching is pretty reductionist.
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tomatoheart
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
I dated a guy who was one of those crusty punk traveler kids...and he idolized homelessness. I give him credit though, he really did live a very ascetic lifestyle and would get up and go without much warning.
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picardia
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
You will never, never, never hear about a white-collar professional man who falls in love with a homeless woman and manages to see the beauty/wisdom inside her despite her circumstances. Depressing but true.

(Though this woman was herself extraordinary. Or the guy brought his dating A-game.)
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taranwanderer
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
freedom versus security and love?

I'm not sure I agree that there has to be one or the other. Love is supposed to be very freeing. Love does not bind people to one another; love releases.
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Bob Wiley
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
I don't actually find his story to be all that beautiful or inspiring or whatever. He walked away from his kids to have a life without responsibility. I'm not saying he's a bad person or anything, and maybe I personally am just sensitive to the issue of parents who don't do right by their kids, but I'm not going to say this is someone I especially admire.
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freudian_slip
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
While there is definitely something very seductive about having no responsibilities or pressures, the lifestyle also forbids having any kind of pride or self-respect. I volunteered with the LA Department of Public and Social Services, and the homeless are treated worse than animals...
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Laulau
04/02/09

@freudian_slip: My brother in law is a cop, and he is definitely much kinder to the pets of the homeless than the homeless themselves. To be fair, he has a justification - the homeless often have other options (even if rehab, etc, are very hard roads) - whereas their pets are stuck with them. I don't agree with his reasoning, but I do see where he is coming from.
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SarahMC
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
This post is sort of timely because yesterday I noticed a new homeless (hobo?) man in my work neighborhood, who has two dogs. This morning I saw him sitting against a building, with a blanket covering his lap and a dog on either side with its head poking out from underneath the blanket. I can't stop thinking about them.
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Kivrin
04/02/09

@SarahMC: Aw. If I, heaven forbid, ever wound up homeless...I'd have a dog by my side, too. Even if I had to give up some of my food.
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Kmacattack
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
I wonder what made him homeless to begin with? I wonder if it was choice, or the product of not having any better options...because I think that would make all the difference as to whether he would ever return to the streets.
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Kivrin
04/02/09

@Kmacattack: If you click through to the NYTimes article, there are some links on the left side of the page. One of them is an Esquire piece in which he goes into more detail about his history. It's definitely worth reading.
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formergr
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
I hope I'm not generalizing too much by saying this, but I worked with a lot of homeless folks in a past job, and one of the things I learned was that it was so much more for a lot of them than just needing a place to live. Up until then, I'd just assumed that they'd fallen on hard times for one reason or another, and if they were provided with a place to live all would be good and they'd instantly be able to get their life back together.

What I learned instead were that a lot of the folks were like Mr. Wagner in the post, and for others it was a substance abuse or mental illness (or both) issue, and for still others it seemed they just had a fundamental inability to sort of manage things. It definitely wasn't an intelligence thing; most of them were quite intelligent and great to talk with, but there was just something missing in terms of lifeskills that didn't seem remediable. I always wondered if that came from a bad childhood, was genetic, or what have you.
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rednrowdy
04/02/09

@formergr: i always wonder about the fundamental inability aspect, too. is the fundamental inability something that is done on purpose or not? is it some part of their brain that refuses to do it...the obstinant adolescent part, perhaps? or is it truly something that they never learned...or never had to learn because nobody taught them and they didn't want to learn...?
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Laulau
04/02/09

@formergr: My understanding (my mother coordinated a rotating homeless shelter for some years) has been that the vast majority of homeless are just like that - down on their luck, and will get out of the situation relatively soon. But at least 20-25% have much, much deeper problems that a roof and four walls will not solve.
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randomnessish
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
I watched that documentary, where a homeless man in California found $100,000 (planted in a dumpster by the producers), and told to do whatever. It was sad, because even though he had his entire family to help him plan out what to do with it, he had no concept of money or a home. Because he had been homeless for 20 years, all he knew was living day to day, and everyone helping him made him feel claustrophobic. He was back on the streets in about 6 weeks. He just really couldn't deal with suddenly being able to live in society, and, unlike Cadillac Man, didn't ever have his own family or someone who loved him even when he was homeless.
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Laulau
04/02/09

@randomnessish: Frankly, I thought that premise was cruel.
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katekatekateyeah
04/02/09

@Laulau: To be fair, he asked to be considered and they offered him a ton of services: therapy, financial counseling, etc. He refused to go to any of them, blew through the money, ended up back on the street and claimed to be happier there. I think it's a lot of the same stuff.
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Laulau
04/02/09

@katekatekateyeah: Yeah, you're right. I still think it showed a huge lack of sensitivity as to what gets people in those situations, but I guess at some point you have to let people be responsible for themselves. Nonetheless, the idea of that situation as entertainment is truly disturbing.
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brendastarlet is on it
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
He might have a slight disorder -- claustrophobia, for example -- that keeps manifesting itself in his new surroundings. It's a fascinating story.

Once, when I was a kid, a hobo (the kind from the movies) came up to my dad and me when we were sitting on a park bench. He tried to talk my dad into joining him on the road, and I was petrified that my dad would go with him. But my dad calmly explained that he was married and had a job and a family, and while it was tempting, he would have to pass.
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HeinzDoofenshmirtz
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
The Pursuit of Homelessness
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happysquid
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
I really enjoyed the book Living at the Edge of the World about a teenager living under Grand Central station for 6 years ([www.amazon.com]) ... I would love to contrast his memoirs with hers.
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SarahMC
04/02/09

In reply to Street News: One Guy Weighs Love, Freedom
Woah. This sounds like the plot of a movie. Intriguing.
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CloudsInMyCoffee
04/02/09

@SarahMC: Johnny Depp would make one hot homeless man.

That sounded insensitive, but I mean it.
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