I will try to keep this as short and sweet as possible before I go off and live out every girl's childhood dream of watching Mommie Dearest while knitting in their underwear (otherwise known as "unemployment"). Don't worry about me though, a young man from Nigeria has contacted me about an exciting business opportunity! You see, his billionaire brother needs an American to hold onto some of his money for a few months, and I'll be able to keep a few million dollars for myself. All I have to do is send him all of my personal information and bank account numbers. Seems like a good deal to me.

Anyways, I want to thank all of the wonderful women I have worked with at Jezebel. I am still dumbfounded as to how I successfully tricked Anna into hiring me to work with such a talented and hilarious group of women. Moe, Dodai, Megan, Jessica, Sadie, Tracie, Jennifer and (especially) Anna are some of the most intelligent and patient people I have ever worked with. Also, Margaret, Katy and Cheryl are some of the best and hardworking interns floating around the blogosphere. I am really proud to have worked at Jezebel and see it develop over the past year and a half.

I would also like to give a special "thx" to the dark overlord, Nick Denton, for occasionally remembering to give me money. Even though that time has come to an end, it was fun while it lasted.

I want to give all of the commenters and readers a quick shout-out for being so funny and (usually) showing me support. Thanks for always keeping me on my toes.

Bye!

There's Da Brat. She was reportedly at the nuptials:

Mariah Carey's new album E=MC² comes out on April 15, and above is a clip of her performing a track from it called "Bye Bye" for the UK show T4 4Music. It's about people who died, much like her massive #1 hit "One Sweet Day." The lyrics for this one are pretty awesome, though. (This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers.") Check them out after the jump.
Mariah Carey - Bye Bye (T4 4Music Performance) [YouTube]

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me alive
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

Chorus
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye 3x)
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

Chorus

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandfather
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye