The three guys sitting at the bar at Town Hall in Georgetown swear it's a true story: A friend of theirs called a buddy in the middle of a sexual conquest, placing his cell phone out of view. When the voice mail picked up, it recorded him asking his lady, "You like that Republican cock?"

Then the bearded one in the middle busts out with this: "Do you like anal sex?" I squint. I'm confused. "Do you do anal?" he repeats, head bobbing with excitement. The litany continues. Do I want to take it in the ass? Have I ever taken it in the ass? My silence is taken as an affirmative and he announces that this interview will go no further unless he receives a hand job. I retreat into a hole carved out during similar sessions in high school and head for the door.

RE: optimal number for a woman Posted By: higher the better on 10-23-2006 1:39 pm I prefer high #'s. It usually means they really like to have sex, and that they are very good at it. And the idea that you might be exposing yourself to a serious disease is thrilling and really gets my blood flowing.

RE: optimal number for a woman Posted By: SF on 10-23-2006 1:58 pm I think one sexual partner for every 2-3 years is acceptable for a girl from a good family. Sex just isn't something girls should be doing if they are interested in marrying me.

Getting tainted by older men Posted By: Roger Chillingworth on 07-02-2007 9:16 am I'm concerned with a lot of the younger ladies in DC who are hooking up with and dating older guys. Whenever I first start seeing a girl I go through a checklist of what is acceptable, and having dated a guy who is 10+ years older than her is a tremendous red flag. I hope some of these younger girls realize the scarlet letter they are attaching to themselves by engaging in this scandalous behavior.

RE: Getting tainted by older men Posted By: Steve Pimpington on 07-02-2007 9:21 am I agree wholeheartedly. Nothing says "I blow guys for money" like dating some old rich dude. And the scarlet letter they are attaching to themselves is "W." For "whore."

RE: change of pace Posted By: Boat Shoes on 10-20-2006 2:49 pm Everytime I'm in Adams Morgan, I take on at least 3-4 Ethiopans. Skinny little bastards are feisty.

'The group as a whole promotes the elite materialism, old money, Ivy League sort of entitlement kind of a thing,' she says. She ditched her profile and quit LNS. 'It was nice because there's so much negativity on there,' she says.

"There is no such thing as a toned size 10! I'm sorry. If you are bigger than a 4 n you need to lose some weight. How women can go around being confident as a 10, I have no clue. I just can't see them wanting to have sex with lights on, or having a guy see them walk around the room undressed."

• Adam Levine and Zach Braff are probably two of the most intriguing men of our age. One is the frontman for Maroon 5, which some record company executive once told us was basically our generation's heir to The Police, while the other gave us the not-at-all masturbatory Garden State, and a few weeks ago asked had his friend ask our friend, after palming her ass at a party, if she swallowed. We cannot imagine what it would be like to be Ivanka Trump at the precise moment at which both of these young bachelors — let's coin the phrase "emosogynists" here, why don't we? — were courting her. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Brad (deer) at Cannes press conference (headlights): "Uh, I was just wafting in the words of...what's her name?" Yeah, uh, that would be Shiloh's mom. Also: "I look at my kids and realize they will inherit this world, and we wanna do everything we can throw our weight in and make it a little bit better." Well, apparently A Mighty Heart is a really uplifting movie. Read about how Angelina & Mariane are all besties in Glamour! [Extra]
  
• Like nineteen people, including Kitty Kelly and her dad, are writing books about Oprah. We are soon about to be so overwhelmed with books about Oprah we won't have time to read Oprah's book club! Or, come to think about it, our Arabic classes or the marathon or spiritual growth. Good thing we've made peace with the fact that obsessing over Oprah is a lot easier than actually trying to improve ourselves. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• We wouldn't really care about a porn star naming herself Katee Holmes, but this one claims to be a virgin, so, uh, we guess she needs publicity? [Page Six]

• The Bush twins like their seafood sustainable. We're not sure how that even works — unless it makes you, like, breathe fish eggs back into the ecosystem — but we're sure we ignored many "green issue" stories about it last month! [Washington Post]
• As everyone in America knows, Jessica Simpson's body is truly a Wonderland...the mystic tan...saline implants...don't tell us you actually thought John Mayer could for real leave someone whose mere presence inspires such poetry even from us? [Page Six] [Gatecrasher]
• Britney leaps off a plane upon realizing its seats aren't leather, which is really the sort of highly improbable behavior you should really just read about in The Superficial. [The Superficial]
• Leonardo and Kate in another movie for which we can only pray that Celine Dion takes time away from fucking her husband to perform the soundtrack. [Cindy Adams]
• You might not remember, but last month Paula Abdul allegedly showed up to church drunk two weeks in a row, which is why it makes total sense that she is capable of tripping over a chihuahua and breaking her nose. [Extra]