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This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
High Off A Bump

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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
12/20/08

In reply to High Off A Bump
As if my head isn't big enough!

(secretly, I want some!)
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/20/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
I will never get a star. I'm sure of it. Even though I came up with a clever name and I'm here all day, six days out of seven. It saddens me to know I'll never reach the heights of stardom some of you have. BUT!! Don't any of you make the mistake of thinking I'm going to give up. I WILL NEVER CAPITULATE TO YOU POPULAR BISHES. NEVER. I will continue to hone my skills and even though I'll never attain superstar status, YOU WILL ALL CONTINUE TO BE SUBJECTED TO MY RAMBLING, NON-PARAGRAPHED COMMENTS AND THE FACT THAT I DON'T HAVE AN AVATAR BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE ONE. So there. All you lovely, intelligent bishes can, in the immortal words of BHB, SUCK IT. Love yall!!
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SisterMaryMartha
12/19/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
ALSO, ABBYNORMAL. I LOVE YOU AND YOUR NAME. WHY ARE YOU CHANGING IT?
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SisterMaryMartha was starred SisterMaryMartha was unstarred

I, Zombie Normal
12/19/08

@SisterMaryMartha: Thanks, doll! I've had a rough couple of weeks, and feel like a zombie lately. I MEAN I'VE HAD A ROUGH COUPLE OF WEEKS.... I quit drinking 276 days ago, and am having a bad spell of the old urges and such.

I'm pretty sure I won't stay a zombie, as Bill Pullman got better in Serpent and the Rainbow, right? And they buried him, so I'm way ahead of the game. I WILL SURVIVE TO EAT COOKIES ANOTHER DAY!!
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I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

Ascendo_tuum
12/19/08

@The Zombie Commenter Formerly Known as AbbyNormal: Way to stay positive! This too shall pass!
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Ascendo_tuum was starred Ascendo_tuum was unstarred

SisterMaryMartha
12/19/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
TEXAS CRUDE AND ANDBEGOOOOOORRAH HAVE BEEN ESPECIALLY SILENT. I MISS THEIR WICKED SELVES.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Y'ALL.
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SisterMaryMartha was starred SisterMaryMartha was unstarred

I, Zombie Normal
12/19/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
I'D LIKE TO GIVE A FRIDAY ALL CAPS SHOUTOUT TO MORNINGGLORIA, BABYJANE, TSCHEESE, BRUTALLYHONESTBABES, KRUSCHEV, SISTERMARYMARTHA, PILGRIM SOUL, JESSICA HUSSEIN LOVEJOY, HATEPAPERDOLL, INEFFABLEME, BADMUTHA, ANDBEGGORAH, HORTENSE, AND ALL Y'ALL-- I KNOW I'M FORGETTING SOME, BUT Y'ALL FUCKING DYKE FEMINAZI BONERKILLERS MAKE ME LAUGH EVERYDAY, AND I THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH FOR LIFTING MY SPIRITS SO OFTEN.

LEG HUGS, CHEESE PLATES, PURPLE DRANK, YOUR WORLD VIEW, FOR THE FUCK OF SHIT, AND NOM NOM NOM, BISHES!
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I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

PilgrimSoul
12/19/08

@The Zombie Commenter Formerly Known as AbbyNormal: I DON'T NORMALLY DO THIS CAPS THING BUT THANKS! RIGHT BACK ATCHA *FINGER GUNS*
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SisterMaryMartha
12/19/08

@The Zombie Commenter Formerly Known as AbbyNormal:

I'M LATE FOR YOUR JOY, BUT THANK YOU! WORK HAS BEEN A REAL BITCH, I WOULD LOVE TO CUT HER.
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SisterMaryMartha was starred SisterMaryMartha was unstarred

Raspberry Swirly
12/19/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
The learning how to bump it thing immediately brought back 90s memories of really, really bad dances, bike shorts as actual fashion even for men, and MC Hammer. Pumps and a bump indeed.
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Raspberry Swirly was starred Raspberry Swirly was unstarred

sportz.star
12/19/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
Thanks goodness for those reality tv moments. It's been a crap week. Time for a good weekend!
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sportz.star was starred sportz.star was unstarred

Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink
12/19/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
This asinine week ended on a slick and slippery goose shit note.

Bring on 2009. Please.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
12/19/08

@Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink: Amen. Aside from Obama being elected, 2008 has not worked for me at all. I'm more than ready to move on.
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Ascendo_tuum
12/19/08

@Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink: Me three. This has been a shitty year of epic proportions for me. *leg hugs all around*
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Penny
12/19/08

In reply to This Week We Were Tired Of Tyra, Elisabeth And Meme
I noticed that I hit 600 followers this weekend. I feel like a cult leader.

Honestly, though, perhaps I need a new hobby......
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

Penny
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): Um, cult leader in reference to the term "followers," not an insinuation that I could convince hundreds of people to bathe with an electric appliance, or something.

I need it to be the weekend.
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

ceejeemcbeegee is not here
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): I'd follow you anywhere!

Your comment made me check mine.... 200+ friends and 350+ followers! Really? When did that happen?

An more importantly, which ones are single guys and WHY HAVENT ANY OF YOU CALLED ME?!?!?
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PilgrimSoul
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): yep, I've been hitting the old Jezebel sauce way too much lately myself.
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Raspberry Swirly
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): 600? Good grief. You should be presented with a trophy. Or a commemorative pen.
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Raspberry Swirly was starred Raspberry Swirly was unstarred

PilgrimSoul
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): also, I'd just like to say that I feel tyrranized by your merciless rule. stop oppressing my shit, dudette.
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PilgrimSoul was starred PilgrimSoul was unstarred

Scout
12/19/08

@ceejeemcbeegee: I'm glad that I need not worry about an exhorbitant number of "followers" as it would be too much of a burden. This is why I try and put up posts which basically contain loads of crap, judgement, hypocrisy and a feigned loathing for all things everyone champions.

given that I have under 20 followers, it appears I'm doing a good job!
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Scout was starred Scout was unstarred

HeinzDoofenshmirtz
12/19/08

@ceejeemcbeegee: Why don't you have a star next to your name?
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HeinzDoofenshmirtz was starred

Penny
12/19/08

@PilgrimSoul: Yeah, you know I'm the pushiest person on the Interwebs.

Really, though. I feel like I should be thinking "higher must be better, right??" but I just feel kind of sad that I spend so much time here. My poor boyfriend.

Also, I hate this time of the night. All the east coasters are checked out and it's the end of my day so my focus is nonexistent.
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

PilgrimSoul
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): I am usually still at work.
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PilgrimSoul was starred PilgrimSoul was unstarred

PilgrimSoul
12/19/08

@ceejeemcbeegee: yeah, hey, where's your star???
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PilgrimSoul was starred PilgrimSoul was unstarred

sportz.star
12/19/08

@Scout: Ah, yes, apparently the self-serving thoughts in my head that randomly tumble out are also not inspiring "followers."

But, stars, I thought they came from having followers - - ceejeemcbeegee, why don't you have one?
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sportz.star was starred sportz.star was unstarred

Penny
12/19/08

@ceejeemcbeegee: Hey Cee, did you break a Jez rule or some such thing? YOUR STAR IS GONE OMG WTF !?!?!

I don't have it, I swear.
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

tscheese
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): I was at 666 for awhile this week, and it made me feel tingly.
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PilgrimSoul
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): whatever, crazy cultist.
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Scout
12/19/08

@sportz.star: I just added to your follower list for the hell of it
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Scout was starred Scout was unstarred

Penny
12/19/08

@tscheese: See, I feel anxious. So anxious that I can't even eat this red velvet cupcake sitting in front of me. And I haven't eaten all day.
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

Mafalda para Presidente
12/19/08

@ceejeemcbeegee: If you have 250+ followers...why you have no star?
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DangerMouse
12/19/08

@PilgrimSoul: Oh jebus, I was saying today that I don't know what the mystery star amount is (because it is not 25), but if it's more than 350, I AM NEVER GOING TO GET THERE.

Again, I haz a sad. But maybe I can STEAL one. Mwahahahaha! Archetype, look out!
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DangerMouse was starred DangerMouse was unstarred

Cesybabe or Nirvanah Crane
12/19/08

@DangerMouse (was ejc....): I believe the magic number is 40, but its not automatic on 40, so is at editor and Hortense discretion. Man, I'm so close too!
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Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): Yes, you need a new hobby.
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Penny
12/19/08

@Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink: I'm looking, trust me.
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): Alright, lookie here, party people. I'm stuck at 94...this has been a slow follower week for me. But I ain't too proud to beg or offer sexual favors to any of you mofos willing to blast me off into the 100s. I'm serious, like, computer b.j.'s are not out of the question. I'll leg hug all you bitches and make you apple pie afterwards, no shit. I've tried appealing to your sympathy, apathy, anger, and mutual love for all things Golden Girls and hate for all things Hasselbeck. And I've stalled, people. I've hit the wall right before my desired destination. Put me over the top, people. I can't do it without you. I'm the candidate for change...but I ain't afraid to spend dollars. I'll pay you for this election to the land of hundredaires. But I need your commitment people, don't take my favors than frenemy me next week.

I am not beyond this and you are not above this...so, what's your price:

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Ascendo_tuum
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): What about rubber ducky vibrators?
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Ascendo_tuum
12/19/08

@Penny Plastic (Archetype): @Scout: I didn't think I would have any followers, then I checked and I have FOUR! Woohoo!
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Tara Incognita
12/20/08

@Ulookinatmyjunk!?!: See my above requirements for Cesybabe.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/20/08

@Tara Incognita: YES!!! YES!!! I'm at 99 (pre-climactic)....C'mon people!!!

Make me ME your new best friend. You don't even have to follow my comments. Trust me, they're not always that awesome anyway...just one more.
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IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
12/18/08

In reply to High Off A Bump
As a proud Jersey girl as soon as I saw this commercial I knew that every girl in my state was probably going to buy this product.
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aubonpam
12/18/08

In reply to High Off A Bump
I would want one if it were free, or if they paid me to take it. I thought the woman in the left bottom photo on the site was Jane Krakowski for a second and got all excited.
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aubonpam was starred aubonpam was unstarred

Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/18/08

In reply to High Off A Bump
"It's so much fun to bump a pony."

I'm going to find a way to work this into my conversation today.
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SharonTaint
12/18/08

In reply to High Off A Bump
I like that they used an eleven-year old girl dressed as prom queen for their "Flirty" description.
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SharonTaint was starred SharonTaint was unstarred

prestocaro fears the culling
12/18/08

@SharonTaint: YES! And the chic red carpet appearance.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/18/08

In reply to High Off A Bump
Me and my flaccid locks are getting along just fine, thank you.
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dirtybee
12/18/08

In reply to High Off A Bump
Ziploc bags + air through a straw = Bee's free version.
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dirtybee was starred dirtybee was unstarred

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