Jezebel: bully for you

Yup, Bullies Really Are Sadistic Jerks

Jessica — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 09:30:00 EST

Bullies on TV can be ultimately sympathetic characters. They inflict pain on others because they are in deep pain themselves: Mommy never loved them, Daddy is abusive, etc. Turns out that in real life, bullies inflict pain on others because it makes them feel good! According to a new study, scientists showed violent videos to 8 "unusually aggressive" 16-18 year old boys and eight "normal" boys of the same age while studying their brain activity. According to ABC News, "While both groups showed activity in the brain's pain centers, the brains of aggressive males, those with conduct disorder, also showed activity in the brain's pleasure centers, suggesting that they may have been enjoying what they were seeing."

The University of Chicago's Dr. Benjamin Lahey, a co-author of the study, says, "They're not only indifferent to the pain, they love it — maybe. They're responding to others being hurt, but in a way that's self-reinforcing." These atypically aggressive boys have what psychiatrists call "conduct disorder," and this study may have proven that this disorder is neurological since their brains react differently to watching those in pain, however further research needs to be done to verify this hypothesis.

People with conduct disorder often end up having very difficult lives, according to ABC, suffering from "poor relationships, incarceration, depression and suicide," though scientists think that with early detection, therapy can help.

In tangentially related news, Washington Post advice columnist Marguerite Kelly tackles a question from a mom whose 12-year-old has started hanging out with gossipy middle school mean girls. The mother asks, "How can I keep my daughter safe and her values intact and still have a positive relationship with her?" And Kelly replies, "You can't, of course, pick your daughter's friends, but you can make it harder for her to hang out with the ones you don't like by keeping her much busier and by setting tighter limits, too, so that these girls won't want to hang out with her." Um, because that's really going to work. This kid is so going to be tucking her dolly under the covers and sneaking out in the middle of the night in 5, 4, 3, 2…

Pain May Be Pleasurable For Some Bullies [ABC News]
Bullies May Get Kick Out Of Seeing Others In Pain [Reuters]
Mean Deviation: Nice Girl Takes A Nasty Turn [Washington Post]

Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom

Dodai — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:30:00 EDT

Much has been made of kids who get bullied recently — Billy Wolfe, in fact, was on the Today show this morning — but the truth is, many of us face bullies as adults: At work. On a BusinessWeek blog, Cathy Arnst writes about an editor she once had: "Whenever I made a mistake—and in the beginning I made many, many mistakes—he would stand over me in the open newsroom and scream at me, impugning my intelligence and professional skills in language I've rarely heard since. I had nightmares about those tirades for years afterwards. Needless to say, I never made the same mistake twice." According to a New York Times piece by Tara Parker-Pope yesterday, 37% of American workers have experienced bullying on the job.

Researchers at SUNY New Paltz have developed a survey to help identify the full range of behaviors that can constitute bullying. Notes Parker-Pope: "Some of the behaviors — glaring, failing to return calls, not praising a worker — may seem trivial, but they take a toll when repeated over and over again." And in some ways, can a cubicle bully be worse than a childhood bully? You're an adult! You shouldn't have to put up with this! But you need the job. I wouldn't say I'd ever been bullied, although I did once work with a loud, gruff superior who often left people in tears. But that was before I checked the list supplied by the New York Times and SUNY New Paltz. Thinking of past jobs, I realized some of the "behaviors" were quite familiar! Have you regularly:

Been glared at in a hostile manner? Yes, and sometimes I glared first.
Been excluded from work-related social gatherings? Yes, thank God.
Not been given the praise for which you felt entitled? Obviously.
Had your contributions ignored by others? Yes, although sometimes instead of "ignoring" it was more like "laughing."
Been lied to? Of course! This is America!

In any case, this is not to belittle bullying. The point is more that being thrown into a pressure-cooker situation with strangers when there's money and recognition on the line makes the workplace thrive on bullying behavior. Who among us has not experienced some kind of cube heckler?

The Bully Next Door [BusinessWeek]
When the Bully Sits in the Next Cubicle, Have You Been Bullied at Work? [NY Times]

Earlier: What Separates The Bullies From The Bullied?