<![CDATA[Jezebel: bulimia]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: bulimia]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/bulimia http://jezebel.com/tag/bulimia <![CDATA[Woman Battles Eating Disorder During Pregnancy]]> Tonight, Discovery Health will air the documentary I'm Pregnant And... I Have An Eating Disorder. In a preview from GMA, Beth Jones struggles to eat enough for her unborn child, even when doctors tell her the baby is too small.

Beth, who has battled anorexia, bulimia, and excessive exercising for 25 years, is not one of those women. In a therapy group for pregnant women with eating disorders, Beth explains what's going through her head: "This baby's going to come and you're going to be big and fat. Who are you going to be if you're big and fat? That's just not acceptable, sorry."

Luckily, Beth's baby is born at a healthy weight and she plans to continue treatment. However, her husband Mike worries about the effect her eating disorder may have on their three children. He breaks down as he says, "Kids pick up on everything. its something we are extremely aware of and I will be extremely sad, especially if my daughter... if they would ever have to go through that."

Pregnant With An Eating Disorder: "I Want To Get Well" [ABC News]

Earlier: New Standard For Obese Women: Zero Weight Gain During Pregnancy

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<![CDATA[Is Binge Eating A Legitimate Eating Disorder?]]> The Los Angeles Times is taking a very interesting in-depth look at binge eating this weekend, asking a question that the American Psychiatric Association has yet to answer: is binge eating truly a psychiatric disorder?

Though anorexia and bulimia are already in the APA's diagnostic manual, with proper descriptions, diagnostic criteria, and potential treatment options, binge eating, the process of consuming large amounts of food in a compulsive manner without purging, is often lumped under the vague "ED-NOS" or "eating disorder not otherwise specified," a diagnosis given to those who display symptoms of disordered eating but don't fit the standard eating disorder diagnostic criteria.

As Melissa Healy of the Times writes, "In light of new research and a seemingly growing population of patients who fit the broad description of binge eaters, psychiatrists must decide whether "binge eating disorder" should stand alongside anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa as a separate psychiatric condition — identifiable by a distinct set of symptoms, a recognizable pattern of progression and a track record of response to certain treatments." Supporters of this inclusion feel it would help sufferers of binge eating disorder to get proper treatment, while critics, Healy notes, fear that the diagnosis would be overused and given to people who aren't necessarily suffering from compulsive overeating as much as a "lack of willpower."

"In short," Healy writes, "the specialists involved in the deliberations are picking their way through a minefield of controversies: the causes of a national obesity crisis, personal responsibility versus the medicalization of risky behavior, the nature of addiction and compulsion, even the respective roles of nature and nurture in shaping who we are and how we behave."

As someone who has been fortunate enough to receive proper treatment for an eating disorder, I find it somewhat troublesome that the concern over including binge eating disorder in the DSM comes back to worrying about doctors over prescribing medication or patients who rely on the diagnosis as some excuse to continue engaging in unhealthy behavior. As anyone who has been through a period of binge eating can tell you, binges are often terrifying and filled with a great deal of shame and sadness. This is not about just wanting to hang out and eat four boxes of cereal; the mental and emotional processes that go into overeating are much more complex than that.

I was able to get proper treatment because my eating disorder was clearly defined in the DSM, and the treatment plan for someone struggling with my symptoms was laid out and continues to be perfected by researchers dedicating to studying the disorder. Will binge eating disorder be overdiagnosed if it is included? Perhaps. But that's a phenomenon that occurs on every end of the mental illness spectrum, and it rings a bit false to blame those who are struggling for the psychiatric community's tendency (and big pharma's push) to write a prescription for those who might not need it. As they always told us in the hospital: it's never about the food, and it's never about the weight. It's the behaviors that need exploring, the behaviors that need to be treated. If including binge eating disorder in the DSM ensures that proper research, treatment, and understanding is given to those struggling with the behaviors, it might make all the difference in the world.

Is Binge Eating A Psychiatric Disorder? [LATimes]

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<![CDATA["I Was A Baby Bulimic," Now He's A Food Critic]]> New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni makes a living eating. So it's both disturbing and encouraging to learn, in this excerpt from his memoir Born Round that his early years were plagued with weight struggles, self-loathing and eating disorders.

From an early age, Frank Bruni says, he was an over-eater. Although he was naturally big-boned and had legendarily hearty appetite from early childhood, his relationship to food was always more about excess than satisfaction, and he routinely continued to eat after he was full. What is distressing about his account is that he was clearly someone who naturally loved and appreciated the tastes and experiences of food, but this natural love was tainted by his feelings about his weight and the connection that developed in his mind. The fact that he and his mom started going on diets as a child can't have helped. It's clear that Bruni and his family accepted being a "fat kid" as a bad thing, to be cured - and while clearly he was developing an unhealthy relationship to eating, the two things were conflated in a depressing and all-too-common way. (Indeed, this still seems to be the author's POV.)

The extra weight was the confirmation: once a fat kid, always a fat kid, never moving through the world in the carefree fashion of people unaccustomed to worrying about their weight, never as inconspicuous. It was the stubborn thing I seemed least able to control, and I often felt that all my shortcomings flowed from it - were somehow wrapped into and perpetuated by it. If only I could fit into pants with a waist size of 31 or 32 instead of my 33s and 34s, I could walk briskly and buoyantly into a crowded school party instead of hovering tentatively at the door, unable to decide whom to approach and questioning whether my approach would be welcome.

As a young man, Bruni becomes bulimic. While he thought of his habitual vomiting as mere weight management rather than an ED, his description tells a different story.

To be a successful bulimic, you need to have a firm handle on the bathrooms in your life: their proximity to where you're eating; the amount of privacy they offer; whether - if they're public bathrooms with more than one stall - you can hear the door swing open and the footfall of a visitor with enough advance notice to stop what you're doing and keep from being found out...You need to be conscious of time. There's no such thing as bulimia on the fly; a span of at least 10 minutes in the bathroom is optimal, because you may need 5 of them to linger at the sink, splash cold water on your face and let the redness in it die down. You should always carry a toothbrush and toothpaste, integral to eliminating telltale signs of your transgression and to rejoining polite society without any offense to it. Bulimia is a logistical and tactical challenge as much as anything else. It demands planning.

He stops, finally, when his friends hold an intervention of sorts. He says, "I succeeded, I think, because so many other extreme or warped weight-management regimens - including more Atkins and more fasting - took the place of bulimia as I struggled for decades to figure out how to answer my appetite without being undone by it and as I traced an unlikely route to the most implausible of destinations: professional eating."

These are accounts we normally hear coming from women, and it's always good to be reminded that EDs target men and boys, too - and a part of me wonders if a man who wasn't openly gay would feel as comfortable, even today, talking frankly about a disease which is still perniciously linked in the public mind only with young women. I'm also glad to read about someone who not only managed to recover, but seemingly managed to recover a love of food - enough that he can take pleasure in it in his career. (So one hopes, anyway - and this is certainly the impression anyone reading his food writing has always received - and I look forward to reading this memoir in full.) What is distressing, though, is that at no point does the adult Bruni seem to find much acceptance for his heavier self - just relief that the pain and loss of control is over. On the one hand, in his case, there seems to have been a clear relationship between his chronic overeating and his weight - and his resultant self-loathing. But even so, and perhaps this is unfair to ask in a personal memoir, I wish he were able to distinguish between the two - if only for the sake of changing things a little for a new generation of young boys, and girls, who feel that same self-loathing.

I Was A Baby Bulimic [NY Times]

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<![CDATA[Wintergirls: Possibly Triggering, Definitely Thought-Provoking]]> Is Wintergirls, Laurie Halse Anderson's young adult novel about anorexia and bulimia, a dangerous trigger for eating-disordered readers, a thoughtful examination of a terrible disease, or both? We read it to find out. [Spoilers follow.]

Much of the book could certainly trigger a vulnerable reader. It tells the story of Lia, who spirals into anorexia and cutting after the death of her best friend Cassie, who was bulimic. Like many anorexics, Lia knows how many calories are in everything she eats, and her descriptions of her meals ("I eat ten raisins (16) and five almonds (35) and a green-bellied pear (121) (= 172)") could certainly serve as instruction and motivation for disordered eating. So could her reports of her steadily dropping weight and ever-lower goal, the pro-ana websites she visits (though, thankfully, Anderson doesn't include actual web addresses), and the tricks she uses to make her family think she's eating. Most disturbing, though, is the way Lia thinks about her illness and her recovery. Anderson writes,

[The doctors] are morons. This body has a different metabolism. This body hates dragging around the chains they wrapped around it. Proof? At 099.00 I think clearer, look better, feel stronger. When I reach the next goal, it will be all that, and more.

Goal number two is 095.00, the perfect point of balance. At 095.00, I will be pure. Light enough to walk with my head up, meaty enough to fool everyone. And 095.00, I will have the strength to stay in control.

At 090.00, I will soar. That's Goal Number Three.

To the non-sufferer, this thinking is distorted and scary, but to anyone with a tendency toward anorexia, it may sound all too reasonable. Lia's thoughts about herself may be far more triggering than her calorie-counting or meal-avoiding strategies — they may convince girls that their own disordered thoughts are normal or even correct.

Some have argued that the book's triggering qualities are mitigated by how terrifying its portrayal of anorexia and bulimia is. Jack Martin of the New York Public Library told the Times, "It's so horrific I don't think anybody would pick this book up and consider it a manual." It's true that the manner of Cassie's death — a ruptured esophagus caused by her bulimia — is incredibly disturbing, and that the deeper Lia descends into anorexia and cutting the more she feels self-loathing rather than strength. But a Times commenter says, "it doesn't matter if you describe the 'horrors.' i'll read right past it and go for what i want," and this may be true for many sufferers.

The real reason Wintergirls is a worthwhile book isn't that it will scare people away from eating disorders — it might do the opposite. It's that Anderson offers insight into a difficult subject, one that is much-discussed but frequently misunderstood. Especially strong is her treatment of Lia's family. While at first it's tempting to think that Lia's parents' divorce "caused" her eating disorder, the book ultimately resists such easy conclusions. Lia's mother, father, stepmother, and stepsister all come across as complex characters who influence Lia for both good and bad, and whose relationships with Lia will all be important as she begins her recovery. Anderson renders anorexia as a complicated disease with many interrelated causes, but she also emphasizes the importance of family in Lia's treatment — both these messages are worth sharing.

Cynthia M. Bulik, director of an eating disorder program, may have the best take on the book. She told the Times, "Books such as these should be read with careful parental supervision. In the best of all possible worlds, this could be a conversation starter between parents and teens rather than a dark world that teens enter alone reading the book in isolation." Read without discussion or supervision, Wintergirls could indeed be triggering. But read as part of a conversation — or, perhaps, read by parents and other family members — the book could help make some teens' worlds a little less dark.

Wintergirls [Amazon]
The Troubling Allure of Eating-Disorder Books [New York Times]
Skin and Bone [New York Times]

Earlier: Are Teen Girls Really That Fragile?

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<![CDATA[Side Effects May Include...]]> Depressing - but really fascinating - piece on the reported decrease in sexual function and libido apparently resulting from eating disorders. [Feministing via Fox]

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<![CDATA[A Teen's Tragedy, A Day For Loving Your Body]]> On International No Diet Day came this heart-wrenching account of a teen's death from bulimia.

Nineteen-year-old Sarah Siskin died of a heart arrythmia the same night she told her parents she wanted to enter inpatient treatment and make a plan for recovery from her seven-year battle with bulimia. Every part of her story is tragic, from her older sister's description of hugging her "all bones" body to the journal entries that reveal her feelings of failure. But one of the saddest parts is this account of the aftermath of Sarah's death:

Candles were lit, prayers whispered. The house filled with people, emptied, filled again. Food was everywhere on tables and countertops, on shelves in cabinets, food crammed into every corner of the fridge; food intended for comfort, for healing — everywhere, this reminder of Sarah's insurmountable war.

Sarah's story underscores the need for early detection of eating disorders, for family involvement in treatment, and for all of us to remember that food is nourishing and joyful — not something to wage war against.

Sarah's Death at 19 Left Her Family Struggling to Understand the Power of an Eating Disorder. [Washington Post]

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<![CDATA[GMA Lets Viewers Judge Whether Aussie Beauty Queen Is "Too" Thin]]> On this morning's GMA, eliminated Australian Miss Universe contestant Stephanie Naumoska denied accusations that she is too thin. Then Diane Sawyer held up a plate in order to judge Naumoska's idea of a moderate portion.

In the clip at left, Naumoska says she flew all the way from Australia to appear on GMA because she wants to defend all the slender people who are victimized by what Sawyer calls "skinnyism." Naumoska explains, "I think that a role model shouldn't be judged by their appearance but rather by their actions or their lifestyle." Obviously, it's hypocritical for someone who was being ranked based on how she looks in a swimsuit to complain that people shouldn't be judged by their appearance. However, whether Naumoska is healthy or not, Sawyer holding a plate up to the camera so America could analyze exactly what she puts in her mouth made our skin crawl.

Earlier: Outraged Aussies Say Miss Universe Contestant Is "Skin And Bones"

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<![CDATA[Russians Use Obama, Stupidity To Sell Ice Cream • Black Girls More Likely To Suffer From Bulimia]]> • This Russian ad for Duet ice cream has been slammed for its racist overtones. In addition to featuring a strange caricature, the ad (insultingly?) calls the chocolate/vanilla bar the "flavor of the week."

• One woman's request for police to search her ex-boyfriend's laptop for child porn horribly backfired when they found two pictures of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog. She has been charged with two felony bestiality counts. • A 43-year-old Muslim cleric from Indonesia has been detained on suspicion of violating the child protection law after he publicly married a 12-year-old girl. • A new study shows that black girls are 50% more likely to suffer from bulimia than white girls. • Nudists apparently have a solution to the teen pregnancy problem, and it (obviously) involves being naked. • An awesome 78-year-old woman named Doris Henion helped police catch a serial robber after he threatened her at gunpoint. • New trend in broadcast journalism: female reporters! Apparently, more stations are hiring young women in attempts to improve their ratings. • The Catholic Church is pissed at Spain because of recent plans to loosen legal restrictions on abortion. The Church has launched a campaign to stop the government from approving the changes. • A new ad campaign in New Mexico seek to target female drunk drivers. • Netflix has become a sponsor of Women in Film's Finishing Fund, an organization that gives money to women who are just a little bit short of completing their movies. • The U.K. has just approved Azzalure, a French, Botox-like drug, for sale in Britain. • Many Israeli women claim "religious modesty" as a reason for avoiding military duty, but the Israeli Army isn't buying it. They have started a surveillance program to catch female "draft-dodgers". • Mukhtar Mai, a Pakistani rape victim-turned-advocate, has married. The wedding was a simple ceremony in her hometown. Congrats! • A new study from the University of Illinois has found that co-parenting with a violent ex is possible, but only if the violence was "situational" rather than "intimate terrorism." • Employers in Denmark have begun the process of compensating female workers who developed breast cancer after working night shifts. • 

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<![CDATA[German Restaurant Offers Tea & Sympathy For Eating Disorder Survivors]]> A restaurant in Berlin caters to a group with very special needs: recovering anorexics.

Almost five years ago, Katja Eichbaum, then 33, opened the restaurant Sehnsucht ("Longing") in Berlin with money loaned by her father. Eichbaum had struggled with anorexia and bulimia for over ten years; in a piece for NPR by reporter Emily Harris, she freely admits that running the restaurant is a therapeutic enterprise for her. And for the many staff members, including the chef, who are at various points in their own recoveries from eating disorders.

Eichbaum's idea is to normalize food, and to make the serving and consumption of food non-threatening to ED sufferers. "I have very normal food on the menu. Girls should take this kind of eating into their normal routine and stop depending on carrots or nibbling on the garnish at the edge of the plate," says Eichbaum. All of the menu items are given allegorical names (a rhubarb and vanilla dessert is called "Mixed Feelings," a rack of lamb is called "Ravenous") so that none of the customers has to dwell on the idea of food when ordering. But the dishes themselves are, apparently, simple and delicious. "We offer lamb curry, duck breast in orange sauce, very, very tasty things. They don't have to be afraid because the portions are normal. They don't overeat, and it's not too little, either." (Of course, you can order the Thieves Platter, €0, which is an empty plate and a set of cutlery, to allow anyone who doesn't want to order their own meal to poach from the dishes of their fellow diners.)

Sehnsucht is located across the street from a day center for people with eating disorders, and Eichbaum wants her restaurant to be a kind of low-key therapy for her patrons. "Girls will have no pressure to eat here," she says, "they can just drink tea. They'll have the chance to confide in someone here, I think...Maybe something like this would have helped me? I don't know, nothing like this existed." Partly to avoid stigma, and partly to attract other customers, nothing on the menu mentions the eating disorder focus.

A psychiatrist who treats patients with EDs quoted in the piece thinks the restaurant can be helpful, but only for people who've already come a long way towards recovery: "It also depends where you are with your problem....Some are really afraid of being observed, or stigmatized." Anyone who's seen an anorexic become an expert food stylist at the dinner table, pulverizing individual beans from the 1/3 serving of chili they've allotted themselves, or stripping the lobes off a broccoli stalk one by one, knows that not everyone with a problem might find Sehnsucht helpful; indeed, there's a danger that such an institution might actually enable certain sufferers. The last thing the world needs is another caloric-restriction anorexia-is-a-lifestyle pro-mia apologist; thankfully, it's absolutely not Sehnsucht's intention to normalize the disease, but to normalize the idea of being around food for its sufferers. Easing people who've had tortured relationships with food back into the pleasures of eating sounds like a great thing to me.

Painting, titled "Meat Painting II - In Memoriam René Magritte," by artist Adrian Henri, from here

Redux: German Eatery Caters To Anorexics [NPR]

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<![CDATA[Can An Eating Disorder Be Blamed On A Parent?]]> In today's Washington Post, Joanna Chakerian discusses her three-year battle with bulimia, which she claims was triggered by someone close to her: Her mother.

Chakerian writes:

When I was 20 and a normal body weight by doctors' standards, my mother told me, "You would look so great and would be happier if you lost about 15 pounds." Her advice stuck.
[…]
Not all eating disorders are triggered by parents, but experts increasingly recognize the dangerous role of thinness-obsessed adults.

What's irritating about this piece is the title, which one can only assume was written by an editor and not Chakerian herself: "An Innocent Word Can Be a Heavy Burden." What's "innocent" about telling your not-fat child she needs to lose a few pounds? Aren't your parents the ones you desperately want to please, the ones whose words have — no pun intended — more weight than anyone else in the world?

Well, some would argue: No.

Ten years ago, psychologist Judith Rich Harris wrote a book insisting that it's not what parents do or say that determines who their children become. And she still believes peers have more influence. In a new interview, Harris tells Time:

One of the things children have to do while they're growing up is to find out what kind of people they are. Am I smart or dull? Pretty or plain? Strong or weak? They find out the answers by comparing themselves to their peers.


As for making them into "good" people, the evidence shows that parents cannot do this. A child who is well behaved at home - who doesn't lie or steal, for instance - may lie or cheat in school if that's what all the other kids are doing. It works the other way, too: some kids are terrible troublemakers at home but little angels in school.

So which is it? Do your parents have an impact on your life or not? (And what about Jeanne Sager, a recovering bulimic, who wrote on Babble.com that her toddler caught her purging?)

An Innocent Word Can Be a Heavy Burden [WaPo]
Why Parents (Still) Don't Matter [Time]
Am I Passing My Eating Disorder On To My Daughter? [Babble]

Earlier: Sometimes It's Mom - Not Media - Who Gives Girls Eating Disorders
Intervention: 6-Year-Old Girl Diets To Emulate Her Eating-Disordered Mom

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<![CDATA[Bulimics Suffer From Decreased Impulse Control]]> A new study has found that women with bulimia are more impulsive than their peers, and the hardwiring of their brains may be to blame.

Scientists monitored the brains of 40 women during the performance of the Simon Spatial Incompatibility task. They then compared the brain scans of 20 women with bulimia to the scans of 20 healthy women, and found that women with bulimia show less activity in their frontostriatal circuits when making a mistake than the control group. In their report, the authors wrote: "We speculate that this inability to engage frontostriatal systems also contributes to their inability to regulate binge-type eating and other impulsive behaviors." Despite these findings, I somehow doubt that this German anti-bulimia PSA placed on the inside of toilets in a girls dorm will prove at all effective at regulating the impulses of ED sufferers. [Science Daily & Animal NY]

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<![CDATA[Pro-Ana Groups Plague Facebook]]> The stereotype of those suffering from eating disorders is often that they're incredibly private, going to great lengths to hide their disordered behavior. But according to Newsweek, many teen anorexics are using Facebook to flaunt their extreme thinness. Dr. Steven Crawford, associate director of the Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt in Baltimore, tells Newsweek that these Facebook admissions are a form of rebellion: "It's almost like putting it in your face: I have an eating disorder. I am anorexic." The girls who are part of these online covens of disordered eating say they're simultaneously cries for help and a way to justify their behavior.

A 17-year-old named Rose says:

These sites provided a setting where I could talk about the illness without people trying to fix me or tell me that what I'm doing is horrible, disgusting, maladaptive. For me, part of the illness was just about getting attention. You feel so lonely and you want someone to notice you, and I guess that's kind of the way to do it, even with other sick people.

And the other sick people will definitely notice you: Facebook reportedly shut down a group "as well as the Facebook account of its creator, a girl who would encourage others to post their pictures online and then harshly detail their 'problem areas.'" However, coming out publicly as an anorexic is not always negative. Singer Juliana Hatfield tells the Guardian that blogging about her experience in an eating disorder clinic helped her get through it. "I needed to reach out to people. I needed support from anywhere I could find it. I wanted to tell the truth and let people know what was going on," she says.

It's important to note that the line between helpful and hurtful when it comes to internet discussion of eating disorders is very thin (no pun intended). According to Newsweek, a recent study shows "50 percent of teens who visited sites ostensibly devoted to eating disorder recovery also learned new weight-loss tips." Navigating the internet for someone susceptible to eating issues is definitely a minefield.

Out Of The Shadows [Newsweek]
'A Heart That Hurts Is A Heart That Works. I Will Beat My Anorexia' [The Guardian]

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<![CDATA[Do Not Forget This: Eating Disorders And The Long Road To Recovery]]> Last week, Dodai wrote about an upsetting article in the new issue of Teen Vogue, in which one reader quipped, "I can't help but look down on my friends when they give in to temptations like pizza or ice cream." And as someone who struggled with an eating disorder for over five years, I can tell you this: I can't help but feel sorry for people who make statements like that.

Last week happened to be my 5-year recovery day. On September 9, 2003, I checked in to an intensive inpatient ED unit, in a wheelchair, with barely anything left of my body or my brain and a heart rate of 43 beats per minute. Four months later, I walked out happier, healthier, and scared to death.

Getting well in the safety of the hospital is one thing; staying in recovery once you leave is another. I had seen women leave and come back to the hospital during the course of my stay; the world was too hard for them to deal with and their ED came raging back. I threw away everything in my life that reminded me of being sick: my old clothes, sick pictures, and the scale that I stood on every morning. The one thing I kept was my journal from the time, which had scrawls from the hospital all over it. On one page I had written something that still scares and stays with me:

Do Not Forget This: you saw your friends plugged into walls, you heard about their melting intestines, you saw her without her teeth on a Tuesday morning, you began to remember your own life as soon as you picked up a spoon.

It is easy, I think, for those of us with eating disorders to fall back into old patterns. The ED voice is a total bitch, hellbent on destroying everything that you are, were, or want to be. In any given moment of weakness — a sudden change, an illness, a breakup, etc — the ED voice swoops right in, as if to say, "Don't worry about the world, Fatty. You still have me." However, the further along I have come in recovery, the weaker that ED voice gets. It also helps that I picture the ED voice looking like Joan and Melissa Rivers on the red carpet, so whenever I get a case of the "you're fats" I just think, "Help! My daughter's not talented!" and that seems to work things out.

Also, I have a kickass treatment team in place that I still see once a month, to keep me on track.

It took a very long time, but once I went into recovery, I never looked back. When you lose that part of yourself, you begin to remember who you were before you were just bones and numbers and calories. You start to see things differently, to appreciate small, quiet things that your ED never let you notice before. You eat a fucking Snickers bar for breakfast and you feel like Michael Phelps should mail you a gold medal, because you are such a champion.

I know that people like to portray anorexia as an illness of vanity, but that's about as far from the truth as you can get. Anorexia is never about the weight. The weight is a symptom, a distraction. The need to starve one's self, to concentrate on numbers and sizes and measurements, is merely a means of coping, of drawing the brain away from whatever is hurting it so badly that the only way of dealing is to numb it out completely. It's a very quiet form of suicide. It is a way of telling the world that all you want to do is disappear. For me, it was also a way to say, "I need somebody to help me," as I come from a family that has both a history of mental illness and a history of ignoring mental illness in the hopes that it will just go away.

I realize how lucky I am to have received treatment; the insurance companies make it impossible for most women to complete their programs, leaving them in a state of flux as far as their recovery is concerned. I think that's why I work so hard to stay in recovery; I was given a chance to recover, a chance that many women with eating disorders won't get, and I don't intend to waste it. I remember the women who would come in and talk during my time in the hospital, the ones who would say, "I got better, and you can, too." At the time I thought they were full of shit. But now I know better, and I now I AM one of those women: I know there are many of you who read this site who are dealing with your own ED issues, and that at times recovery seems not only impossible, but unfathomable. Doves, this is not the case. Yes, recovery is hard, and it hurts, and it's a lot of work, but it is beautiful and worth it, and if I can do it, then trust me, so can you.

Earlier: Shun Your Friends & Learn A Cool New Eating Disorder In Teen Vogue!

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<![CDATA[ One in five men are extremely unhappy with...]]> One in five men are extremely unhappy with their body image, and the number of men with anorexia or bulimia is on the rise, according to Dr. John Morgan, a leading British eating disorder specialist. Men make up 15 percent of eating disorder sufferers in official estimates, but the number doesn't take into account men who compulsively exercise because the definition of illness focuses on women. Morgan says media images of male beauty, slim but muscular guys with six-pack abs and big arms, are part of the problem. "It's completely unhealthy, and to achieve that sort of shape you've got to be either working out for hours in a gym, making yourself sick, or taking certain kinds of illegal drugs." [BBC]

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<![CDATA[Female Athletes More Likely To Build Muscles, Abuse Bodies]]> Participation in sports is generally thought to improve self-esteem and promote a healthy body image. But according to a recent study, undergraduate women who participate in sports and exercise regularly are actually more likely to exhibit eating disorder behaviors than women who don't. The problem is even more pronounced among women who participate in the more prestigious levels of athletic competition (for example, a top female soccer player is more more likely to have an eating disorder than someone who plays Ultimate Frisbee with her friends on the weekend): Researchers say that women who experience higher anxiety about their athletic performance are even more likely to be dissatisfied with their bodies and suffer from eating disorders.

The International Journal of Eating Disorders study was conducted with 274 female students at a large southeastern university and compared the eating-related behaviors and attitudes of varsity athletes, club athletes, independent exercisers, and non-exercisers. Researchers are recommending that university coaches and athletic departments consider prevention and monitoring programs for female athletes and exercisers at universities. "As women's participation in athletics increases, so too does the need for awareness of the link between eating disorders and sports participation among women," says Jill Holm-Denoma of the University of Denver, lead author of the study.

Eating Disorder Symptoms More Common Among Female Athletes And Exercisers [EurekAlert]

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<![CDATA[John Prescott's Ugly Common Person's Guide To Coping With Eating Disorders]]> Remember that deputy Prime Minister who resigned two years ago with Tony Blair only to resurface a year and a half later with a memoir about his decades-long struggle with bulimia? The British press sure does! And while coverage of this confession has generally fallen into the category of "merciless mockfest", an interview in the latest British Esquire convinced me he was doing bulimics of the world a service. Because while writing about your eating disorder isn't really a British thing to do, John Prescott's method of dealing with his eating disorder is kind of hilariously British, starting with the way his wife caught wind of the problem: she noticed symptoms she'd learned about from Princess Di. Which is, of course, the grand irony: the kids all assume eating disorders are the path to looking like Di and Nicole Richie when, ha ha ha, Prescott pukes his food too! Herewith, John Prescott's Stiff Upper Esophagus Guide To To Coming To Terms With Your Puking Problem, culled from Esquire.

Deny.
So it doesn't take Frederic Jameson to recognize in John Prescott some maaaayjor class issues. He talks on and on about his problems with "grammar" which the writer suggests he is actually mistaking for "syntax." The son of a Welsh railway worker and child of divorce, the "defining experience in his life" was failing a test sixty years ago and he only got to Oxford through some deal set up with his union. "I didn't feel adequate. I felt inferior and guilty, and I've always had a chip on my shoulder," he admits to the writer, who helpfully calls him "conspicuously working class." But did any of this secret shame/unease within his context/impostor complex play into his compulsion to consume barbaric amounts of Peking Duck and Digestives cookies only to — essentially the dietary equivalent of cheating on a test — puke them all into a Parliament latrine later on? Nah. Says Prescott of his first visit to the eating disorder clinic:

They ask you about your parents. I wasn't too convinced about all that, and walking into a room full of women was a bit embarrassing, but I did it.

A better idea: maybe get more sleep..
This is a good if obvious point. People always eat more when they're tired because the extra energy/indigestion keeps them awake. But when it's time to sleep, the indigestion is less helpful:

I get so tired. The only thing that stops me working is eating. Remember my box [his red ministerial box] comes at 11 at night, and I'm up at seven. I work my box [until] one o'clock. If you want to relax, you eat. Then you begin to find you've eaten too much and actually get a relief from expelling it, and then you're into that.

Focus bile on the haters. (Who are probably just as fat as you.)
Prescott points out that a lot of the shame of admitting one has an eating disorder is the fact that a lot of eating disorders, for all the psychic havoc they wreak, do not have the desired effect of making you thin, rendering the act of keeping them up absurd. But like, yeah, motherfucker, of course eating disorders are absurd; that's why he wrote the book!

They say I'd failed because I was still fat. Notice how fat they are, the ones who are writing it. You can gain weight. The mistake to make is you assume you expel the food immediately. You don't. You wait. If you look at the letters that have arrived, you're staggered: 'I'm so glad that you've said it. My daughter, who's 19, she's been doing that and now she's come to me and said: if John Prescott did it, it's not so abnormal is it?"

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<![CDATA[The Most Disgusting Thing A Person Has Ever Done To Lose Weight]]> Today I saw one of the most disturbing clips I've ever seen on television, courtesy of the Tyra show. It featured a 19-year-old anorexic named Cassie, who weighs 85 lbs and, as her disease would dictate, believes that she's fat. Cassie takes drastic measures to lose weight, like taking 35 laxatives at a time, chewing on paper, and eating cotton (the latter two, she admits, she learned to do by reading "pro ana" sites). When she does actually eat food, she only allows herself 150 calories a day. (She used to eat dirt, but then stopped because she was afraid of "dirt calories.") Because years of purging have ruined her gag reflex, she can no longer vomit, so instead, she sticks a feeding tube down her throat and suctions food out of her stomach. Even Tyra, who has undoubtedly seen a whole lot of disordered eating in her life working as a model, was beyond shocked. Clip above.

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<![CDATA[Eating Disorders Officially More Of A Dude Thing Now]]> The revelation that former British Deputy Premier John Prescott was a raging bulimic who liked to wash five-course banquets down with a few cans of Carnation sweetened condensed milk, and a Big Mac takeout Lo Mein chaser reminded me of ...well, it reminded me how happy I am to have shaken some old habits because I was always terrible at puking, but it reminded me of a topic I have been wanting to discuss for awhile now: At Some Point Men Started Having Worse Eating Issues Than Us. From Prescott to this guy I know who just got one of those incomprehensibly huge book advances to write a memoir about his "andgoyny" i.e. manorexia to at least three out of four of my ex-boyfriends, eating disorders are officially a Dude Thing, and I'm glad we're coming to terms with this as a society because I am frankly sick of all those closeted manorexics thinking no one is onto them.

(The first rule of spotting a manorexic: he thinks people actually believe that metabolism shit, because he is a dude.

Fundamentally, compulsions surrounding the appetite are worse on men because they have bigger appetites. They also have bigger pants. Women, we eat half a box of cereal and maybe a few spoons of peanut butter mixed with Creamy Deluxe frosting and maybe half a can of Dinty Moore and we are like "oh my gosh I'm never eating again" and eventually that gets old but men can really make an achievement out of this shit:

WHAT PREZZA WAS EATING...
DAILY GUIDELINES FOR MEN
Calories 2000. Fat 70g, carbohydrate sugars 90g, salt 2.4g
CARNATION MILK - 397g TIN Calories 1290. Fat 31.8g, carbohydrate sugars 221.5g, salt 0.4g
M&S TRIFLE - 500g Calories 825. Fat 41.5g, carbohydrate sugars 71.5g, salt 0.55g.
LEMON CHICKEN Calories 1400. Fat 13g, salt 700mg
BEEF SATAY Calories 760, Fat 40g, salt: 650mg
SWEET AND SOUR PORK Calories 410.
Fat 30g, salt 350mg
CRISPY DUCK - 650MG Calories 800. Fat 40g, salt 650mg
CHOCOLATE - 230g BAR Calories 1207.5. Fat 68.54g, carbohydrate sugars 130.4g, salt 0.207g
DIGESTIVE BISCUITS - 500g Calories 2355. Fat 106.5g, carbohydrate sugars 83, salt 2.5g CRISPS - 34.5g
PACKET Calories 530. Fat 11.7g, carbohydrate sugars 0.2g, salt 0.5g
Meet your maker, Tinsley Mortimer. Oh, and that reminds me: do any of you people with eating disorders sort of blame your dads? My mom was way too sensitive to enable that shit.

John Prescott's Secret Big Mac Binges [Mirror]
Huge Book Deal For Jon-Jon Goulian [Observer]

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<![CDATA["My Roommate Is Bulimic. What Should I Do?"]]> In this very special 420 episode of Pot Psychology, Rich and I are joined by a magical guest: Jambi the genie! (A virtuoso portrayal by StreetCarnage.com's Gavin McInnes.) He gave us aid(s) in tackling life's everyday issues, including dildo chew toys for dogs, Mormon weddings and large black cocks. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)

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<![CDATA[Bad Girls Binge Leads One Roommate To Purge]]> The roommates of the Bad Girls Club aren't getting along, so on last night's episode, they decided to throw a slumber party. The girls arranged for a stripper, some parlor games, and, much to recovering bulimic Andrea's chagrin, tons of junk food. After dealing with the stress of bullying and fighting in the house, she couldn't take it anymore, and went to the bathroom to purge. (To be fair, we think those other girls might make us puke too.) Clip above.

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