Why Do Girls Write Fan Letters?

Nina Garcia Thinks Your Birth Control Is Aesthetically Unpleasing

• It's official: Nina Garcia is officially a has-been. The recently-fired Elle fashion director is now partnering with Bayer and Yaz to judge a contest in which people submit designs for a new little case to hold birth control pills. I don't know about you, but I like the purple faux-suede "wallet" that my Yasmin comes in just the way it is. [Fashionista]
  
• OMG sneak peek of Nina and Christian Siriano's performance on this week's Ugly Betty. [Sassybella]
  
• Radiohead: Fighting sweatshops. [Yahoo]
  
• Fergie is so P.C.: "I really love people who wear fashions of their own culture; they really touch me and inspire me. I'd like to call myself cultured and not just because I travel a lot and see various hotel rooms. I love driving around, seeing what people on the street are wearing, I would even ask my driver to take me to a cool, young part of town for inspiration. If I went to Africa I would come back with tons of different things, because I truly wouldn't find those things anywhere else." [Chic Report]

Jessica Simpson Needs Cranberry Juice, Stat

• Jessica Simpson has been hospitalized at Cedars Sinai for a minor kidney infection. Did she pick up something in Kuwait? Ow, ow, ow. [TMZ]
  
• Oh, she's already out of the hospital. And "doing fine." [The Sun]
  
• Amy Winehouse is moving — for the third time in four months — because her new flat has "demons." [The Sun]
  
• Despite what you may have heard, Johnny Depp will not be shilling for Magnum condoms. [Portƒolio]
  
• Denise Richards: "I'll never talk about weight around [my daughters]. And they'll never hear me say, 'Mommy's feeling fat today.' That kind of attitude just makes young girls grow up to be dissatisfied with their bodies." She will, however, include them in her new reality show! [People]
  
• Jennifer Aniston has formed a film company called Echo Films with producing partner Kristin Hahn. (Aniston was previously a partner in Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B.) [Variety]

Janet Is The Only Jackson In The Black

• Aside from Janet, the Jacksons are all pretty much broke, working odd jobs, and living with their parents. [TMZ]
  
• Speaking of financial troubles: Heath Ledger was only worth $145,000 at the time of his death. [TMZ]
  
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake is trying to get her to fund his drug habit in while he's locked up, which is like, news to no one. According to the security chief of Pentonville jail, where Blake Incarcerated is being held, "There is strong and supported intelligence he is involved in attempting to smuggle drugs into the prison." [The Sun]
  
• Meanwhile, Amy's mom Janis has a doctor's note to get out of dealing with her daughter's own drug addiction. She has multiple sclerosis and has said, "If I was to get heavily involved in Amy's problems things could get worse for me. I can't cope." [The Mirror]

A Posh Reality Show? Major!

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

Knocked Up Nicole Kidman Psyched To Gain Weight

• Nicole Kidman's pregnancy has made her "voluptuous" and she is so happy. "I can't ask for anything more except big boobs. I've wanted Marilyn Monroe curves all my life." [Rush & Molloy]
  
• More on Angelina Jolie's op-ed piece for The Washington Post: She urges the US to help Iraqi refugees displace by the war. "What we cannot afford, in my view, is to squander the progress that has been made. In fact, we should step up our financial and material assistance." [People, WaPo]
  
• HX magazine asked: "If a 'Janet' drag queen had to battle a 'Madonna' drag queen, what advice would you give the 'Janet' queen? Janet Jackson replied: "Kick the bitch's ass!" [Perez Hilton]
  
• This was in Midweek Madness, but Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are back together. "Inside Kate & Owen's Hookup" is kind of a gross title for a gossip item. Depending on what your definition of "hookup" is. But like, vadge cam? Is that what we're talking about? [People]
  
• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem: "It's getting pretty serious." [Page Six]

Amy Winehouse Should Go To Rehab

• Amy Winehouse's "exhaustion" was really an overdose. The singer had her stomach pumped and is still in the hospital. Amy, we joke around but we love you! Get well! [The Sun]
  
• Britney Spears' ex-husband, Kevin Federline, wants primary custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James. Might be a good idea, Britney — more time for make-out pool parties! [Page Six]
  
• Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard spills details about her terrible, terrible parents to In Touch, like we told you yesterday. Plus Lindsay's boozing and drug using. Also, when she was 15, she was allowed to share a hotel room with her 14-year-old boyfriend Aaron Carter. The Lohans: putting the fun in dysfunctonal! [Page Six]

Dear L.A. County Sheriff's Department: Fuck You.

• Paris Hilton is free. We don't know why, but think we'll be forced to watch the damn press conference? On second thought, no, we think we'll ask Anna. Uh, Anna, pretty please? [TMZ]
  
• After spending $55 million spoiling her, a Page Six blind item is suggesting Devil Wears Prada actress Anne Hathaway's real estate mogul boyfriend is cheating on her. With a woman for whom he buys lingerie at Victoria's Secret? How high-low! [Page Six]
  
• Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz is 28! (Just like the average age of US!). To celebrate, Ashlee Simpson bought him a Revenge of the Jedi poster to appeal to his "inner geek." This is not as fun a gift to write about as the time John Mayer gave Jessica Simpson that thesaurus as a gift, but maybe Tolstoy was right and some couples are just HAPPY. [People]

We Have Always Loved That Handsome Cuba Gooding, Jr.

• Onetime Academy Award-winner and friend-of-Elmo Cuba Gooding Jr. saves a gunshot victim outside Roscoe's House Of Chicken 'N' Waffles in L.A. [Gatecrasher]
  
• It's a good thing Lindsay Lohan's mom Dina (the "White Oprah!") never tried to run with that "former Radio City Rockette" thing since it turns out she was never a Rockette! [Page Six]
  
• When Bruce Willis flew into a rage over the whole my-wife's-boychik-is-prettier-than-Rumer thing, Will Smith said to him: "Dude." And some other stuff. But somehow, it solved things. [Page Six]

News At 10: Bruce Willis Suffering From Paranoia, Bad Taste In Women

• Bruce Willis says that his enemies in Hollywood "want to make sure I never work again>" Word of advice to Bruce: Dating Courtney Love won't exactly help your career. Ask Kurt Cobain. [Rush&Molloy, last item; CindyAdams]

News At 10: Madonna Still Without An Original Idea Of Her Own

• Madonna is going back to Africa, perhaps to Brangelina-up her brood of African babies. [PageSix]

Celeb Roundup: Michelle Williams May Have Finally Got A Clue