Kind of digging on Amy Landecker's happy hour look.


Natalie Portman says: be afraid. Be very afraid. I went to Harvard and I love animals. And I dress flawlessly, with just a hint of calculated, sophisticated risk.


Kristen Wiig is one of my favorite human beings, which is why I'm not even commenting on a bootie choice and incorporates an entirely different genre, like Sergio Leone being brought in to finish Sex and the City 2. (Work with me.)


Uh oh. Brooke Shields' dress is being dragged down and off by the weight of the feathers and tulle.


When it comes to Rosie Perez' enormous bow: fun or fug? (Keeping in mind that we're now firmly in the holiday season.)

Patricia Clarkson: "I'll show ya how it's done, kid. It's all about the jewel tones."


Margarita Levieva: Why go with Lauper makeup and a tried-and-true 80s neckline and then wimp out on the heels? It was "Holiday" until we hit the lack of pointy pumps!


We have approximately 5 seconds before Sari Lennick starts a round of inappropriate giggles. Possible caused by itchy lame.


"Yes, I am doing Audrey, dammit! And it's glorious!" (Melonie Diaz)


Shohreh Aghdashloo: "Oh, honey, you have no idea. This is my little brooch."

[Images via Getty]

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, per usual, bring the Gothic deshabille.


Designer Nanette Lepore knows that if there's one crowd that won't blink at vaguely tribal girly armor, it's this one.


Michelle Harper is a fixture on the social scene and, yes, she always looks this fabulously deco-glam.


Aww, it's Danny DeVito and daughter Gracie!


Jeez louise, is Gabourey Sidibe batting 1000, or what? Nary a misstep, folks! Nary a one!


Brooke Shields can do simple elegance. She was a Calvin girl, after all.


Say what you will about Anna Wintour, say what you will about fur...man, those hems are aligned with a military precision!


Is Ashley Greene's LBD breaking any hearts? No, but I can't take my eyes off her face, so it all works out.


You know what I love most about this pic of MK and Ashley? That they're both carrying briefcases, in case they might need to have an impromptu meeting. Moguls, people.


It's true that Rose Byrne is a special favorite, but come on: this is cool. Would I wear it? Could I wear it? No and no. That's why stars: are nothing like us.


Somehow in the context of this event it would seem strange if Johnny Depp hadn't shown up with Patti Smith as his date, and if they hadn't looked exactly like this. Yes, quizzing glass, hankie and all.


We'd say Helena Bonham Carter had been in one too many Tim Burton movies, but she was always an eccentric, and she's ended up in exactly the right place and, at the end of the day, it's pretty wonderful.


Hamish Bowles (Vogue's European Editor at Large) is one of this town's most reliable and natty dandies.


David and Julia Koch do "artistic socialite." Okay, not him so much.

[Images via Getty]

• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

• Today a judge ruled that Jon Gosselin must pay back $180,000 of the money he removed from his shared bank account with Kate Gosselin in violation of an arbitrator's order. As for the rest of the money...

• Kate's lawyer said, "The remaining sum of $55,000, which Ms. Gosselin used for household bills and expenses relating to the children, will be subject to further determination by the arbitrator at a later date." Jon has to pay by October 26 or be held in contempt. Kate has until that date to detail what she's been spending the money on. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted: "@samantharonson doesn't respond 2me b/c her family will cut her off if she contacts me…They control the one I love & im incapable of making any sort of difference. I'm in love with her, as she is in love with me….but her loved ones-hate her brilliance & resent her happiness" [Perez Hilton]
• In the video at the link, a Dallas news anchor asks Oprah, "Would you like to take this opportunity to apologize to America for introducing us to Dr. Phil?" She laughs and says, "Aren't you proud of your boy from Texas?" to which the anchor replies, "No." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was nominated for five American Music Awards today. His death made him the biggest-selling artist of the year and he was nominated for favorite male artist and favorite album for Number Ones. [Reuters]
• Sources who have heard unreleased Michael Jackson recordings say there are at least two albums worth of material, and some are better than "This Is It." [TMZ]
• Helen Harris-Scott, who once claimed Michael Jackson communicated with her through his music, has filed a creditor's claim for $50 million. She says Michael installed a tracking device in her car, wiretapped her phone and had "organized criminals watching me inside my house in L.A. and reporting to him." [TMZ]
• Robert O'Ryan, Shawn Johnson's alleged stalker, will stand trial for felony stalking, felony commercial burglary and two misdemeanor counts of carrying a loaded firearm in his car. A judge threw out an attempted kidnapping charge because although he had zip ties, duct tape, and a shot gun in his car the judge said there was so much junk in the vehicle that he could not have fit Johnson inside. [TMZ]
• Deputy James Davis, the police officer who arrested Evi Quaid and Randy Quaid, is suing her because she was photographed hanging a hand painted sign accusing him of taking bribes outsider her home. Now another sign has appeared that accuses him of being a "Deputy with Underrated Intelligence." [TMZ]
• NBC has cancelled Southland, but TNT may pick it up. [Hollywood Reporter]
• A Richard Prince exhibition has reopened at the Tate Modern in London after a nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10-years-old was removed for possibly violating obscenity laws. Prince was consulted and the picture was replaced with a photo of Shields as an adult. [N.Y. Times]
• The first witness in the preliminary hearing over Anna Nicole Smith's death testified today that she was found with a bottle of the anti-biotic Cipro and a baby bottle full of Pedialyte, which is used to rehydrate children who have diarrhea and vomiting. Anna had the flu. [TMZ]
• The paparazzi caught Maria Shriver talking on a cell phone while driving, which was outlawed by a bill Arnold Schwarzenegger signed last year. [TMZ]
• Paparazzi caught Famke Jannsen with feeding her dog while dining on the patio of a New York restaurant. In New York it is illegal to bring a dog into a restaurant. [TMZ]
• The cover of Q magazine featuring a topless Lily Allen with panthers won a Maggie for the best UK magazine cover of the year. [Guardian]
• Lily Allen is preparing to move in with her new boyfriend Sam Cooper, who is a builder. "They have made enquiries about several terraced properties in Primrose Hill in London," says a source. "Sam's brilliant at planning and design so it makes sense for him to advise on any business ventures. They're so into each other, it's very sweet." [Ok]
• Though they've only been dating for a few weeks Katy Perry wants to introduce Russell Brand to her parents. "Katy is as besotted with Russell as he is with her. However, her parents are extraordinarily strict Christians," says a source. "Katy is sure that, after a bit of getting used to him, they would approve of Russell, but she wants to get that initial meeting out of the way as early as she can." [The Sun]
• Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen saved a lost dog they saw other drivers swerving around in Los Angeles. Sacha called the owners to set up a meeting and said he'd recognize them because, "I'm very tall and my fiancée is really tiny. You can't miss us." [E!]
• PETA is attacking Paris Hilton for buying a pet mini-pig recently, saying she sets a "wretched example" by treating animals like they're "as disposable as her friends and fiances." [TMZ]
• Karina Smirnoff says the rumors she's hooking up with her Dancing With the Stars partner Aaron Carter are "really funny" because judge Len Goodman keeps accusing them of not being sexy enough on the dance floor. "Let me tell you, if that was the case, the dance would have been very raunchy, as Len wanted it to be," she said. [People]
• The autopsy of Boyzone star Stephen Gately, who was found dead on Saturday, shows he died of natural causes. [USA Today]
• Ethan Hawke is on the new cover of Hobo magazine, sitting on a swing looking scruffy and dejected. [Just Jared]
• Tilda Swinton is trying to prevent Donald Trump from developing a golf course in Scotland. He responded: "Where was Tilda Swinton three years ago when everyone else was petitioning? She's a little late in the game don't you think? Swinton is a part of a tiny little group of people who are hanging by a thread. 93% of the public in Scotland are in favor of the project. I have all of my permits and approvals and we're going to start construction in 3 weeks." [TMZ]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their new daughter Lou Sulola. "I think that it's a wonderful experience to be pregnant, definitely, but you have to look at what you can do, and four children is a lot!" she said. "It's a big family. We drive a really big VW bus. Now in September, all three children will be going to school. Try to fit three car seats in the back of the car!" [People]
• T.R. Knight told Ellen DeGeneres, "I want a baby... I don't know if it's going to end up working out, but that would be something I would like." [Us]
• Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton's two-year-old son Beau was taken to the hospital last week because he had a bloody lip. Bunton says, "It's been an emotional week for me as Beau had his first accident, which left both of us in tears. He fell over his scooter and his tooth pierced his bottom lip, so there was blood everywhere." He was sent home the same day. [Daily Express]
• Claire Danes says she likes to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge but has never ventured much further into the borough. "That's terrible. I sound terrible," she said. Her husband Hugh Dancy added, "Basically, you're speaking to the most politely pro-Manhattanite person that you've ever met, right here." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "They've turned the word rock into nothing. It's a meaningless word. "It rocks." "That food rocks." "She's rocking in that outfit." They've taken the word and stripped it of all its menace, of all its dirt, of all its sex." — Joan Jett [Esquire]
• Jane Birkin says Serge Gainsbourg "was scared stiff of all breasts. Which was why, when he met me, he said: 'Wow – you have a body just like the ones I drew in art school.' He didn't like bosoms to be high and pert; he liked them lower down, which was just as well, as I'd had a baby. 'I've always dreamt of a girl who had the top of a boy and the bottom of a girl,' he once told me – Serge did like a bottom." [The Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone says she likes the men of old Hollywood like William Powell and Spencer Tracy because, "They're chivalrous and funny and not too politically correct. They still smack a gal on the ass, which I just think is swell. They wear a suit, they have a hat, they drive a car, they have a job. They stand up when you come in the room, say please and thank you. All those old fashioned things go a long way with me." [Showbiz 411]

• Justin Timberlake's grandmother has confirmed his split from Jessica Biel. Sadie Bomar says they broke up because, "Jessica was keen to marry, but Justin isn't ready..."

• She added, "The girlfriends come and go, but we believe nothing has ever been serious." [The Mirror]
• Elizabeth Taylor announced on her Twitter page today that she's about to undergo heart surgery. She wrote: "It's very new and involves repairing my leaky valve using a clip device, without open heart surgery, so that my heart will function better... Any prayers you happen to have lying around I would dearly appreciate. I'll let you know when it's all over." [People]
• Chris Brown is planning to tour again for his remaining fans. He Tweeted: "BOUT TO START A SMALL TOUR SOON.. 15 TO 20 DATES.. MY FAN APPRECIATION TOUR. just for yall.nothin bigger than 4,ooo seater." [TMZ]
• A private investigator and celebrity lawyer Mark Geragos (who defended Chris Brown) were seen entering Nicole Richie's estate. Could it have something to do with one of the paparazzi rear ending her car yesterday? [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan looked "out of it and gaunt" at the Ungaro runway show on Sunday and Michael Lohan says, "I'm going to get her off the prescription drugs that she's on." He continues, "You know why Lindsay's not acting in feature films right now? Because she can't. Because the girl with all the talent is hidden and buried deep inside this fungus that's grown because of the prescription drugs. She can't be herself. When you hug her she's like, vacant inside. When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way-in a bad way." He says everything was fine before he and Dina got divorced and now Lindsay is being taken advantage of by "enablers." [Radar Online]
• Brooke Shields and Jim Belushi survived a minor plane crash on Friday. They were parked on the landing strip at Hearst Castle and the Cessna they were in rolled into an SUV when the pilot forgot to put on the parking brake. [TMZ]
• Usher has delayed his divorce from Tameka Raymond by not signing the divorce papers. "Tameka thinks that it's ironic that "Papers" is his comeback single when she just wants him to sign the paperwork and finalize the divorce," says a source. "The terms and conditions have been agreed on for around a month but he keeps stalling on them and she's the one that wants to move on with her life." [Radar Online]
• Kate Gosselin filed court paper yesterday demanding that Jon Gosselin return $230,000 to their bank account and sell his luxury cars. She also wants Jon to produce a complete record of all the money he spent in the past two months and to be held in contempt of their Interim Arbitration Award. [Radar Online]
• Mel Gibson's lawyers are asking a judge to expunge Gibson's DUI conviction for the "sugar tits" incident from his record. He's completed three years of probation. [TMZ]
• ...aaaand Judge Lawrence Mira granted their request and expunged the DUI. [TMZ]
• Tom Cruise slipped into the back of a Harvard Law class to watch his lawyer Bertram Fields lecture. Fields asked Cruise to comment on issues about tabloids and privacy, and how films are rated a few times. Cruise stayed after class to talk with students and sign autographs. [Harvard Law Record]
• City National Bank is suing Toni Braxton for breach of contract for falling behind on payments of a $900,000 promissory note. [Radar Online]
• Miley Cyrus, who canceled three shows last week because of a severe throat infection, Tweets: "Gotta get up at 6:30! Its my first day back for goodness sakes! You'd think they'd learn their lesson and take it a little slower but noooo." [Daily Express]
• Michael Crichton's widow has filed a creditor's claim against his estate for $7 million. Her prenup entitled her to $1 million a year for nine years, but she had only received $2 million when he died. [TMZ]
• Sources say Tom DeLay will withdraw from Dancing With The Stars tonight due to stress fractures in both his feet. DeLay danced last night even though doctors told him not to. "They're starting to tell me I shouldn't have done this," he said, "I ice [my feet]. I've got a bone stimulator machine that I put on them."[People]
• ZOMG: The November 9 episode of Gossip Girl will feature major characters in a threesome. [EW]
• Kenny Goss, George Michael's partner of 13 years, left him this past Christmas but they've been trying to keep the split quiet. A source says "Kenny had given George many chances. But after the Hampstead Heath incident he said he couldn't take any more. Everyone knew George wasn't just in there to do drugs - the place is well known as a place to pick up men." [Daily Express]
• George Michael's rep says, "There is no truth in the matter at all. Kenny has been away in Dallas where he owns a gallery but is scheduled to return home this Friday. They are planning a lovely weekend together." Daily Mail]
• CBS Television Distribution wants to turn Nancy Grace into the next Judge Judy. The syndicator is developing a half-hour daytime show with Grace described as "a new take on the court show." [Broadcasting Cable]
• Martha Stewart says her biggest regret is "Not having a dozen offspring." [Vanity Fair]
• David Letterman's apology last night was watched by 4.2 million people, a higher rating than anything NBC had on in prime time. [Variety]
• George Clooney's parents, Nick and Nina Clooney, went to the Kentucky State Capitol today to receive the 2009 Kentucky Governor's Awards in the Arts on their son's behalf. Clooney was born in Lexington, Kentucky. [CBS News]
• Helen Hunt was in talks to replace Maura Tierney on Parenthood, but now the role has been offered to Lauren Graham. [Entertainment Weekly]
• A man had a seizure at a screening of Lars von Trier's Antichrist during the scene in which Charlotte Gainsbourg attacks Willem Dafoe's genitalia. [N.Y. Observer]
• Padma Lakshmi says, "One thing that happens when you're pregnant is that as your stomach starts to stretch [and] it itches! So I have to keep my belly really lubricated... Every morning, there's a buttering ceremony after I get out of the shower. It's really like basting a turkey with body butter." [People]
• Bethenny Frankel says none of her RHONY castmates have congratulated her on getting her own show. "What's funny is nobody on my cast has said a single word to me about it," Frankel says, "It must be a giant elephant [in the room]." [People]
• Anna Paquin says she and Stephen Moyer are planning a low key wedding. "I wasn't the girl who spent hours dreaming of my wedding," she says. "It's more about being family than becoming bridezilla overnight and wearing some big meringue wedding dress. That would scare the shit out of me." [Ok]
• There were rumors that Mad Men's Bryan Batt and his longtime partner Tom Cianfichi were getting married in Vermont this Christmas, but his rep says it isn't true, explaining, "Their goal is to eventually marry, but the time has yet to be determined and will not happen this year." [TV Guide]

• More on this is Midweek Madness, but Star is reporting that Justin Timberlake and Rihanna are "on." Here's the deal:

They've been talking and texting "nonstop" since the VMAs; but Rihanna doesn't want to be "his lady on the side." A source says: "She asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?' And he hinted that things were cooling off between them." [Star]

• If you were at the Bourgeois Pig on East Seventh Street the other night, you would have seen Madonna eating with Jessica Seinfeld and Jesus Luz… Then Anderson Cooper "rolled up on his bicycle and joined them." [Page Six]
• Rose McGowan has broken off her engagement to Robert Rodriguez. Does this mean no Red Sonja? But what about the awesome poster?!?! [Radar Online]
• Uh-oh! Bomb scare on the set of The Green Hornet, starring Seth Rogen! [TMZ]
• Hospitalized twice in two days? Get well soon, Tori Spelling. [Page Six, People]
• Chris Brown says he's trying to make as much music as possible — while doing community service at the same time. Multitasky. [TMZ]
• "How to fix Jon and Kate? Lose the Eight… Kate Gosselin is and has always been the show's central character. How she mothers, how she bosses her husband around, how she cuts her hair and tucks her tummy - that's what the show is really about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Lamar Odom says his wedding to Khloe Kardashian was not fake: "It's crazy how perception works in America when you're looking at things from the outside… Anybody that was there will tell you that it was a beautiful event and it was real." [People]
• Some hairstylist claimed he did Khloe Kardashian's hair for her wedding — at a cost of $4500 — but KK didn't actually use him and actually never heard of him. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's estate is suing the "Heal The World Foundation," which claims it is linked to MJ, but had no connection to the pop star and, in fact, "became dormant before he died." [CBS News]
• Rihanna is being sued by a neighbor who claims she had been allowing cars to drive on his lawn to get to her driveway; she denies causing any damage. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe: Taking driving lessons. [Telegraph]
• Jessica Alba is in talks to join the cast of Little Fockers, along side Ben Stiller and Bobby De Niro. According to this story, she'll play an "attractive" pharmaceutical rep "whose looks wreak havoc on male characters." In other words: They don't need her to act. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Uma Thurman will star in Ceremony, a flick directed by Max Winkler — Henry's son. Uma will play an older woman who is about to get married when a young man falls for her; the young man will be played by Michael Angarano, aka Kristen Stewart's (ex?) boyfriend. [Variety]
• One of the defendants in the John Travolta case claimed to have document suggesting Travolta wanted his son dead; it was actually just a form that released medical professionals in the Bahamas from liability if Travolta decided to fly his son to a hospital in Florida. [TMZ]
• "An ambulance driver believed he had John Travolta over a barrel and wanted big bucks to keep embarrassing medical records secret, a witness testified yesterday." [NY Post]
• Randy and Evi Quaid's home in Marfa, Texas now has a cease and desist sign out front, because the Quaids has started remodeling job without permits. [Radar Online]
• Remember Edward Furlong? Terminator, American History X? His estranged wife just filed a restraining order against him, claiming he threatened to hire people to beat her with chains and bats. And! She claims he "is smoking cocaine and doing other various drugs. He is very unpredictable." [TMZ]
• This columnist gives Joy Behar's new show three and a half stars and writes: "if there's one thing wrong with Joy's great new show it's her old-lady Aunt Carmela hairdo. Please Joy, call me — I'll pay for you to go to my hairdressers." [NY Post]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has decided to display a naked photograph of 10-year-old Brooke Shields; critics want it withdrawn from the exhibition, called "Pop Life: Art In A Material World." [Daily Mail]
• A Steady Rain stars Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman reportedly attracted the highest weekly gross for a nonmusical production on Broadway. But as far as I know, neither of them take their shirts off! Weird. [NY Post]
• Bono may be a superstar, but he knows how to wait patiently for a table in a crowded restaurant. [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga sang over the phone at a fundraiser and helped earn over $10 million for charities. [Page Six]
• "Sean 'Diddy' Combs has signed with Universal Music Group's Interscope Geffen A&M label in a deal which includes his future albums and creates a new joint venture with Combs' Bad Boy label." [Reuters]
• Interesting: Melissa Gilbert is playing "Ma" in Little House On The Prairie: The Musical. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Hudson says her newborn baby boy is "the cutest thing in the world" and he "seems like he's very interested in music already." [People]
• "Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's one-legged ex-wife, will appear on the British TV show Dancing on Ice, according to the London Sun." [NY Post]
• Roger Avary, Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, has been sentenced to a year in jail for drunk driving and causing a fatal traffic crash in Southern California. [Breitbart]
• "A former teaching assistant who was employed by Wynonna Judd to home-school her two kids has been charged in Tennessee with distribution of child pornography." [E!]
• "Pink Floyd star leaves £24m to his children - but nothing to his three wives." [Daily Mail]
• "I had to think: 'What can I do with it? How can I make this fun?' I wanted him to be happy-go-lucky about the whole thing and not a conflicted, angry killer. More of the Hannibal Lecter school of killer: the killer you want at a party. I wasn't trying to banish Seth Cohen. I'm still me. He looks different and is morally corrupt. But I don't see it as a big departure." — Adam Brody, on his character in Jennifer's Body. [USA Today]
• "I went to Oregon to study permaculture and lived in an eco-village for a month outside Eugene. It's called Lost Valley. It was amazing and exactly what I needed, because there had been the Juno thing, where you're getting a lot of attention. You're learning how to live in a holistic way with the cycles of the Earth. At one point I was digging goat (manure) and putting it into a wheelbarrow, and while shoveling it, I just went, 'Oh, my God, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now.' "— Ellen Page on her life after Juno and before Whip It!. [USA Today]
• "I'm not a fancy person. I love small spaces. I like tiny cars. I don't buy things, aside from music and books." — Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "She's really sexy. I did my wardrobe fittings with her where we would just take our clothes off and look at our own bodies. We both have insecurities or flaws, but we were both like, 'How do we get over this? How do we be the sexiest we can be in this movie?' We pushed each other. We challenged each other. We developed a love affair that was based on truth rather than niceties." — Drew Barrymore on Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "It took me all my effort to watch The Wire. And I only watched it because I was directing an episode in the last season. Then I watched the whole lot in a very short time and suddenly realized what a great thing I was in." —Dominic West. More from him at the link. [Telegraph]
• "I want to apologize to everybody. I had no idea what it would turn into." — Kristin Cavallari, on introducing Spencer and Heidi to each other. [Hollywood Crush]
• "She is not a nice person… Madonna laid the law down to me before we went out. [She said] I am not going to Disneyland, OK? That's out. I said, 'I didn't ask to go to Disneyland.' She said, 'We are going to the restaurant. And afterwards, we are going to a strip bar. I said, 'I am not going to a strip bar, where they cross dress. ... I am not going to there. If that's how it is, forget this whole thing. ... Afterwards, she wrote some mean things about me in the press. And I wrote that she is a nasty witch, after I was so kind to her." — Michael Jackson, in that new book by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. [CNN]

Haskins says it's all about the "Mom-amorphasis."

Tracie's take? That her career has come full circle.

It is curious that Brooke has gone from Pretty Baby to talking about her babies, and that all kinds of companies (teeth whitening! Volkswagen!) think that she is uniquely qualified to reach out to American women. Is there something that makes her seem trustworthy? Likable? Is it because she's been in the business for such a long time? Maybe since we're used to seeing her face, we feel like we know her. She couldn't possibly lie to us — not about eyelash growth!

Target Women: Brooke Shields [Current]
Related: Why Is Brooke Shields In Every Commercial?

Earlier: All Sarah Haskins Posts
Condoms, Cleaning Supplies & Crap: A Q&A With Sarah Haskins

Chloe Sevigny takes on horizontals. There's a reason the dame ranked high in yesterday's informal "girl crush" poll.


Yes, yes, it's supposed to be all kinds of "lengthening" to wear one's jeans extra-long like this. But then you can only wear them with the 5" platforms, which mean you only wear them, maybe, once a month, and every time wish you'd just had them hemmed to a normal length. Besides, isn't Brooke Shields tall anyway?


Paul Iacono is working so hard at being quirky that I'm half afraid he's about to whip a copy of Prater Violet and a hip flask of home-brew out of his pocket.


Erin Lucas, now identified as an "actress," was one of the "downtown" cool-kids on The City. (Read: she had bangs.) You can tell by her casually distressed aesthetic, you see.


Olivia Palermo, meanwhile, would never have been allowed to wear such a wacky train-wreck of an outfit in her designated role of "rich bitchy villainess."


The fact that Fern Mallis is the most powerful woman in fashion makes me happy every time I see her in dizzy French-teacher mode!


Ashley Madekwe looks like what an American Apparel ad should be. In reality, she'd need to remove all the clothes ans ten years, and add a major insolent sexy-face.


Julie Henderson's dress kind of looks like a really labor-intensive craft project, the kind at a craft fair that makes you secretly think, if you have that talent, why put all this time into something ugly?


My parents used to have two friends who met in the early 70's in a marijuana addiction group. Byrdie Bell's dress is what I imagine the bride wearing.


Nicole Miller has the confidence of the successful designer. Make of this what you will, she said ominously.


[Images via Getty]

• In Rolling Stone's upcoming Michael Jackson tribute issue, Brooke Shield reveals, "There were times when he would ask me to marry him..."

• "I would say, 'You have me for the rest of your life, you don't need to marry me, I'm going to go on and do my own life and have my own marriage and my own kids, and you'll always have me. I think it made him relax. He didn't want to lose things that meant something to him." [The San Francisco Chronicle]
• The Jackson family requested that a black LAPD officer drive the hearse holding Michael Jackson's coffin from Forest Lawn Memorial Park to the Staples center. The LAPD refused and sent a white officer. Michael's body is being kept in Berry Gordy's crypt at Forest Lawn until a final burial decision is made. [Radar Online]
• When Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch was raided in 2003 police found a syringe, prescription painkillers, vials and IV bags containing what could be anesthesia. If you need to rifle through MJ's medicine cabinet yourself, there are photos here: [TMZ]
• According to documents from Michael Jackson's 2005 molestation trial, a member of his security team said some doctors were trying to get MJ off of Demerol, and that one of his doctors was "was upset with Jackson because he had been self-injecting." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's driver told coroner employees that MJ seemed disoriented when he left Dr. Arnold Klein's office in the weeks before his death. TMZ has compiled a video of his exits so you can decide for yourself if he looks dazed as people maul him and snap pictures. [TMZ]
• Law enforcement sources say Michael Jackson's doctors Arnold Klein and Conrad Murray aren't cooperated with the L.A. County Coroner's office. They turned over some of the requested documents, but are hiding other records. [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian said she was particularly moved by Paris Jackson speaking about her father at his memorial service because she spoke at her father Robert Kardashian's funeral in 2003. "That was the hardest thing I ever had to do," said Kim. "I couldn't remember anything and I was shaking and it was really, really tough, and I was 22. [Paris is] only 11, and I thought it was very courageous of her to get up there." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon has a black eye, which her publicist says she got while playing softball in preparation for her upcoming baseball film. [The Daily Express]
• Jennifer Aniston paid everyone's salary on the cast of her movie The Bounty so that they could have the Thursday before Fourth of July off. "Jen is such a genuinely good person," said one crew member. "How many people in this world would pay for an entire movie set to have off for the day? Not just anyone does that. We're talking big bucks." [People]
• Jason Priestley's wife Naomi gave birth to a healthy baby boy yesterday. They also have a 2-year-old daughter. [AP]
• Artie Lange was arrested this afternoon in New Jersey for DUI and careless driving. He allegedly rear ended another car. [TMZ]
• Jani Lane, of the '80s hairband Warrant, was charged with DUI and hit-and-run. On June 17 he hit a parked car in L.A. and refused to take a sobriety test. [TMZ]
• Four major Swedish newspapers are threatening to boycott a Britney Spears concert in Stockholm because their contract bars them from reselling the pictures and from publishing them more than 30 days after the concert. [AP]
• Jordan says she and husband Peter Andre lost a baby shortly before the breakup of their marriage. She was ten weeks pregnant. His spokeswoman said: "It was Peter's child as well and Peter is devastated and deeply disappointed that Kate has chosen to speak out about this and their marriage. It is a private matter." [The Sun]
• Gisele Bunchen still hasn't confirmed that she's pregnant... but she was spotted buying pink things at Petit Trésor Baby Boutique. [TMZ]
• A Russian TV channel cut a scene from an episode of South Park that portrayed Vladimir Putin as desperate and greedy. The episode aired in 2005 in the U.S. [AP]
• Ricky Gervais was criticized for being a hypocrite because he condemned bullfighting but still eats meat. He blogged, "I think there is a difference between animals being humanely killed for meat and animals being tortured to death for fun. It's the 'enjoying it' part I don't understand." Now the World Society for the Protection of Animals has defended Gervais in a newspaper editorial. [The Daily Express]
• Adrian Grenier has responded to Kevin Connolly's accusation that he stuffed his shorts for People's hottest bachelor photo shoot. "My question is how would he know and what was he doing looking?" said Adrian. "It's weird, I've never scrutinised another man's groin area in my life or his socks for that matter." [The Mirror]
• Katie Holmes' upcoming performance on So You Think You Can Dance is "Oscar winning" ... according to her choreographer. [People]
• After having trouble with her voice for several months Rachael Ray had a benign cyst removed from her vocal cord. Her rep said, "According to Rachael's doctors the minor, non-invasive procedure was a success and she is already resting at home." [People]
• Lauren Conrad's book L.A. Candy has been on The New York Times Best Seller list for the past two weeks. She says, "If someone said to me five years ago when this all started that I would one day make the New York Times Best Seller list I wouldn't have believed it." Trust us Lauren, we wouldn't have believed it either. [People]
• Robert Plant was honored with a CBE, but he says he's not going to fight with Led Zeppelin band-mate Jimmy Page, who has an OBE, about rank. "If we can remember each other's phone number at this time in life it's a miracle. We're still good friends, we both enjoy a rather dark sense of humour that comes I think from being from rather the wrong side of the tracks for all those wild years." [Miror]
• Even when the police came to break up a skit while Sacha Baron Cohen was filming Borat, he refused to break character, telling them, "I do not understand what you mean, 'masturbates.'" It's a long story. [Esquire]
• Ryan Reynolds says at first his family wasn't that thrilled when he decided to pursue acting. "I'd say my parents offered a modicum of support. My father's a cop and more rough round the edge, my brother's a cop too. It's not a family you'd think would produce someone who wants to go and sing and dance in Hollywood. And being a cop was a distant second after acting. It was a necessity that acting worked out. Now, they're over the moon." [The Independent]
• Emma Watson says she has one requirement for her college roommate in the fall: "As long as there are no Harry Potter posters on the wall, I will be fine and happy." Daniel Radcliffe joked, "I really hope they are a really massive Harry Potter fan. I hope you walk in and the first thing you see is your face on a duvet." [People]

• Curious about the bromance between Tom Cruise and David Beckham? A new book will explain it all to you, including how Beckham decided to name his kid Cruz. [Gatecrasher]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are in Australia, where Tom's been cruising on a billionaire's yacht and Kate took Suri shopping at Target. Yes, Target. [News.com.au]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson: Still going strong. [Page Six]
• Emma Watson's dress flew up in London on the Harry Potter red carpet… Her undies were showing and photographers snapped away. [NY Daily News]
• In this interview, a promoter from an Arkansas convention center talks about being duped by Sacha Baron Cohen for a scene in Brüno. "They were clever," she says. "They first contacted us via an intermediary company called Ring Rulers. In this area cage fighting is popular. They told me that they would be doing videotaping for a reality show… At the last minute they started changing the set up. They originally contracted to use our chairs. Then, barely an hour before opening the doors, they brought in their own. These were all literally roped together with wire so you couldn't untie them. As I was leaving at 5pm on the Friday six guys in suits - obviously from Hollywood - marched into my office with a bundle of legal paperwork wanting me to sign a waiver… Beer here is normally four bucks. That night it was a dollar a cup. The production company had paid the difference." There's more. [Telegraph]
• How do we feel about Lindsay Lohan and Christina Aguilera being in the new season of Project Runway? [Mirror]
• Sniff: Ozzy Osbourne's Pomeranian, Little Bit, was killed by a coyote on the grounds of the Osbourne home in Los Angeles. [The Sun]
• Tim Gunn, Debbie Harry and Bill Hader of SNL: All denied entrance to a Fourth of July roof party. [Page Six]
• Here's a breakdown of how the city of Los Angeles spent $1.4 million on the memorial for Michael Jackson. [AP]
• Fans and media have been taking over the streets near the Jackson family home and the Encino Neighborhood Council has released a statement about how residents and businesses need to "take back their streets." [People]
• "Was Jacko in the box? …Some have speculated his body was never in the coffin, and people close to the family say, without elaborating, that the pop idol has already been buried." [NY Post]
• Not sure why, but the media is talking to Heath Ledger's dad in the wake of Michael Jackson's death. "On the day Michael died I spoke to my daughters and former wife Sally, and we all had such a down day," Kim Ledger says. "In the first couple of weeks it's crazy, and you're just trying to come to grips with the enormity of it. It's not for me to advise the Jackson family how to get through this, but what I will say is the saddest times are now, one-and-a-half years later. The media interest has died down, so I'm no longer surrounded by Heath and all I want to do is pick up the phone, but I can't." [MSNBC via Australia's Women's Day]
• Paris Jackson's eulogy made Spike Lee cry. [People]
• Here's a letter Ronald Reagan wrote to Michael Jackson in 1984, after the incendiary Pepsi commercial. [US News & World Report]
• Michael Jackson helped develop merchandise for his This Is It tour, and it will be on sale as soon as this week, at places like Hot Topic, Target, JCPenney and Spencer's. [LA Times]
• Michael Jackson will be buried wearing one white, crystal encrusted glove. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson 's family won't bury him without his brain." All I have to add is :( [Mirror]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and George Michael are among the celebrities who were allegedly targeted as part of a newspaper telephone hacking scandal. Someone from tabloid rag News Of The World hacked into their phone lines, as well as Nigella Lawson, Patsy Kensit, Jude Law and Sadie Frost. [The Star]
• Is Kate Gosselin A-list? She has been invited by Maria Shriver to attend the Annual Women's Conference, where she'll rub elbows with Katie Couric, Kelly Preston, Cindy McCain, Elizabeth Edwards and Madeleine Albright. [E!]
• At the Conference for Women, Kelly Preston will speak publicly about the loss of her son, Jett Travolta. [ET, People]
• Oh dear: The Jane Kaczmarek/Bradley Whitford divorce might get messy: She wants full custody of the kids. [TMZ]
• Starting Monday, Drew Barrymore will be shooting her new film — Going The Distance, about a long-distance relationship — at the New York headquarters of the Associated Press. "Real-life newsgathering will continue around her as usual by the AP's editorial staff in the sprawling facility." [AP]
• You know what looks really cool? Drew Barrymore's new flick, Whip It, starring Ellen Page as a roller derby phenom. Pic at the link! [USA Today]
• "Actress Kate Beckinsale accepted 20,000 pounds ($32,000) in libel damages at the High Court on Thursday over a story in Britain's Daily Express newspaper that she was set to miss out on her dream role as Barbarella." [Reuters]
• After 15 years, Nicole Kidman has ditched her publicist. What does it mean? [Deadline Hollywood]
• I'm afraid I must draw your attention to a first-person essay entitled "I Fucked Screech." Quoth the lady in question, "The pillow talk consisted of 45 minutes of [Dustin] Diamond telling me about Adult Swim cartoons." [Videogum, Heeb]
• Jessica Lange may get an Emmy nomination next week for Grey Gardens, but she is also an acclaimed photographer. In this interview, she talks about both. [The Daily Beast]
• Would Rosie Perez play Sonia Sotomayor if asked? "Oh my God, I'd be so honored," Rosie gushes. "There needs to be a fearlessness in approaching that role. That's who she is. Balancing the human being versus the judge is the biggest challenge that would face me personally. But I also think that to play her, you have to dive in and discover her true spirit. Otherwise, don't even fucking go there. Don't even fucking try it. It would be the chance of a lifetime. I'd be right for the role because I'm fearless. I'm afraid of everything and afraid of nothing at the same time." [Gatecrasher]
• Brooke Shields hasn't been in movies for 10 years, but she just signed on to a "live-action family comedy" called Furry Vengeance in which a real estate developer (Brendan Fraser) "gets more than he bargained for from a band of raccoons when he pushes too hard into more pristine territory." Also involved: Dick Van Dyke, Ken Jeong and Samantha Bee. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Hope Davis will play Hillary Clinton in an HBO Films/BBC Films movie called The Special Relationship. Dennis Quaid will play President Clinton. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Pamela Anderson is rumored to be making a cameo in the upcoming Baywatch movie, which will be a "tongue-in-cheek" comedy. Sounds… dirty. [Gatecrasher]
• Edward Furlong: Getting divorced. [People]
• David Alan Grier's wife, Christine Kim: Filed for divorce. [TMZ]
• "Heather Mills has spoken of how much she is enjoying her freedom, insisting she has been 'having a great time' since divorcing Sir Paul McCartney." [Daily Express]
• Paris Hilton is on trial in Miami, being accused of not doing enough to promoto her 2006 sorority flick Pledge This. [Breitbart]
• "MARSHA/JAN LESBIAN AFFAIR A 'JOKE'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which television star called off her wedding the night before the nuptials? She changed her mind after having a sexy fling with the best man." [NY Daily News]
• "I think I am just by the sheer fact of my existence. I know that I personally would have loved to have me around when I was a gay teenager. Because when I was a gay teenager there weren't that many openly gay celebrities. And I would have loved to have been like, ‘Wow look at that dude. He's gay. He's REALLY gay. And he's successful and he's not apologizing for that and he seems really happy.' So I hope that though they may not agree with everything I say that I inspire gay youth to be themselves and to say what they think and to be proud of who they are." — Perez Hilton on why he is good for gay America. [EW]
• "I was never at a place where rehab would have been appropriate… Booze was what would make me want to stay out all night and do some blow or smoke a joint or whatever, so shutting that off was key. It's like ketchup and French fries - I don't want one without the other. So that's the moment: Do you want to continue being great at being in your 20s, or do you want to step up and graduate into adulthood?" — Jason Bateman, on getting sober. [MSNBC]
• "I consider her more than a dear friend. I consider her my wife, my sister, my daughter." — Perez Hilton on Lady GaGa. [EW]
• "I got a phone call telling me about it, and then I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off, yelling, 'Get me a dictionary! It's so typical of something that would happen to me. So mortifying. I'll probably get it fixed, but in the meantime, I'll just say I was putting my own twist on it." — Hayden Panettiere, on her misspelled tattoo. [USA Today]
• "I had to do a scene in a bra and shorts for the first time in two years. On the day of the shoot, I ate a pork burrito, chips and Coke. Afterward, I thought, 'I probably shouldn't have done that.' But whatever." — Blake Lively. [MSNBC Scoop via Glamour UK]
• "Dude, the humor came from the fact that they did a casting call on Craigslist that basically said, 'Come have mock sex with Josh Lucas for $50 and get a film credit.' Literally that's what it was. And like 25 different women showed up." — Josh Lucas, on his gritty new film, Death In Love. [BlackBook]
• "I'm very disciplined for work but I have to be even more disciplined to enjoy holidays. I hide in the bathroom with my BlackBerry. My family always check to see where my BlackBerry is and take it away from me. They get angry with me and my friends do, too – they don't let me take it to dinner. It can be an addiction." — Penelope Cruz. [Daily Express via Psychologies Magazine]
• "I've never been invited to a dinner party - they don't invite vegetarians. When you are eating with friends someone will say, when you're starting to eat, 'So you don't eat fish?' I've been having that same conversation for 40 years! The food [at my restaurant] is amazing! Ninety per cent of the people who go there are meat eaters. They just think the food's great and there's not a bean sprout in sight. I could eat beans on toast every day for the rest of my life, no complaints at all. I'm a buffet kind of person. I'd much rather go in for a buffet, load up my plate, sit down, eat and split, or have a piece of pizza on a doorstep or something. I can't stand fuss." — Chrissie Hynde. [Mirror]
• "I'll be 34 in October. I can't keep getting away with [nudity]. There was so much of it in The Reader because the story required it, but people have seen enough of my bum and my boobs. I have to put them back." — Kate Winslet. [MSNBC Scoop via Harper's Bazaar]

Although, this was weird:

It was part of some montage that ran on the jumbo screen.

Hey, did you know that Michael Jackson is the reason that Obama was elected into office?

Did he even ever vote? Jehovah's Witnesses usually don't. (According to Prince.) Sharpton also said, "It was Michael Jackson that brought blacks and whites and Asians and Latinos together." Literally, all I could think was "What about Native Americans?" This dance was in my head all weekend:

Maya Angelou wrote a long-ass poem about Michael and then didn't even go. She had Queen Latifah read it.

Berry Gordy was the first to get up there and really eulogize Michael. He talked about the later singer's good and bad times, and then implied that we're supposed to start calling Michael "The Greatest Entertainer That Ever Lived" from now on. I don't know…"King of Pop" is a lot catchier. And easier.

Magic Johnson talked about Kentucky Fried Chicken.

And Al Sharpton wanted his three kids to know that their father wasn't strange.

Brooke Shields gave a touching eulogy in which she pretty much blew her cover as his beard.

She also said that he was "undoubtedly perched on a crescent moon." But I highly doubt that if he is on the moon that he's "perched." He's moonwalking. Doye.

Then a Congresswoman got up there and ranted and raved for the longest time about the legal system.

As for the performances, there was the big singalong to "We Are the World," for which family and close friends got on stage with a bunch of nobodies holding the mics.

There was also the good:
Stevie Wonder

Usher: I didn't like how "showy" he was, singing to the casket and stuff.

The bad:
Mariah didn't sound good.

Jennifer Hudson and the Arm-Motion People. She sounded great, but what is the deal with interpretive dancing? Also, I totally thought they were singing the song from Working Girl at first.

And the ugly:
John Mayer and his O faces.

• Lindsay Lohan is being sued by a Florida chemist named Jennifer Sunday, who claims the actress stole the formula for Sevin Nyne tanning mist.

Lindsay says she co-created the formula with Lorit Simon, a Las Vegas businesswoman who air-brushes tans for celebrities. But Simon had signed a confidentiality agreement in January with Sunday's company. By the way, Sevin Nyne is named after Lindsay's lucky numbers. [St. Petersburg Times]

• The Real Housewives Of New York want more cash before they'll return to the show next season. We're talking six figures, a clothing allowance and money for hair and makeup. Bravo is responding by interviewing replacements, haha. [Gatecrasher]
• Are Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and Count Alex on the verge of a reconciliation? [Page Six]
• "Rihanna's Risqué Fashion Choice Of Pasties Ensures No One Looks At Her Hairstyle." [NY Daily News]
• In a ceremony yesterday, Prince William was made an honorary barrister. He says: "I play football, rugby and water polo, not very well, but particularly pride myself in being a quite magnificent armchair centre-back at football and flanker at rugby... and now you have made me a barrister — I promise not to practise, except for the odd speeding ticket." [Telegraph]
• Barack Obama on Michael Jackson: "There are certain figures in our popular culture that just capture peoples' imagination, and in death they become even larger. I have to admit that it's also fed by a 24/7 media that is insatiable." [CBS News]
• The Michael Jackson memorial is today, and Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, Usher and Lionel Richie will be taking part. [Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe, biological mother of Michael's children, will not attend. [NY Post]
• Will Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael Jackson, perform today?!?!?! [MSNBC Scoop]
• The Jackson family was at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles last night, viewing the body. [TMZ, People]
• Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, has turned his bedroom into a shrine, with life-size wax models from Madame Tussauds and his old report cards. [The Sun]
• Word on Michael Jackson's kids — who have not been seen since his death — is that they are with their grandmother, Katherine, and are "doing as OK as can be expected." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Uh-oh: A Liz Taylor-Michael Jackson drug link? This piece details "How Taylor's pill habit fed Jackon's addiction, how the two shared the same doctor, and the warnings they both received." [The Daily Beast]
• In this interview, Brooke Shields — who first met Michael Jackson when she was 13 — says as Michael grew up, "the more asexual he became to me." She also says: "He was like a little kid who talked about the bases - what first base was, what second base was," Shields said. "It sounded very odd to the outside, I can imagine, but to the inside, to someone who's never really left his bubble, you can understand how he would be curious." [AP via Rolling Stone]
• Robin Leach has a blog (!?!) where he writes: "Just 48 hours before his death, Michael Jackson was 'in a high state of stress and emotional drama, fearing that he would never be able to complete the 50-concert run in London, and it would kill him.'" [Vegas Deluxe]
• Ugh, every funny or crazy thing the poor man said is now coming out as a headline. For instance: "Michael Jackson Wanted To Clone Himself." [Mirror]
• In a police report from 2004, five doctors are named as continually prescribing drugs for Michael Jackson. [The Wrap]
• Congressman Peter King — who ranted about MJ over the weekend — has more to say. He calls the coverage of the singer's death an "orgy of glorification." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson news = huge traffic for TMZ. [AP]
• When Megan Fox went to Michael Bay's house to audition for Transformers, "He made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed her." Apparently this footage is now missing. [Page Six]
• Madonna is in talks to perform on Simon Cowell's X Factor show; Lady GaGa and Rihanna may also make appearances. [The Sun]
• By the by: Madonna has plans to do a concert in Warsaw, Poland on a day celebrating the Virgin Mary; Lech Walesa calls this "Satanic provocation." [Reuters]
• The Office's Jenna Fischer: Engaged! [People]
• A Brit paper claims Kelly Osbourne called Lady GaGa a "butterface": Kelly responds, "I have a big mouth and that's no secret… BUT when words are being put into my mouth and things are being printed that I did not say it really makes me really mad. I am a huge fan of Lady GaGa. If anything i'm slightly jealous of her wardrobe and I am definitely in no position to be calling anyone a butter face." [Perez]
• Diddy's White Party is being called "B-list" because Tila Tequila, Tara Reid and Tom Green were there, but what about Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Russell Brand, Jonah Hill and Lindsay Lohan? [Page Six]
• Twilight star Kellan Lutz and 90210's AnnaLynne McCord are so totally on, but don't want people to know. Luckily, you don't even care, do you? [Page Six]
• Scores, a "gentleman's club" in New York City, has offered Heidi Montag $25,000 to strip. [PopCrunch]
• Paula Abdul calls the American Idol panel a dysfunctional family of sorts." To wit: "I'm the nurturing mom, Simon's the disapproving dad, and Randy's the cool brother." Oh, and forgotten stepsister, whatshername? [AP]
• Here is a sentence from a story about Agyness Deyn's love life: "Agyness Deyn is now all loved up with cheeky Scouse musician Miles Kane from The Rascals, who is also one half of The Last Shadow Puppets." Got it? [The Sun]
• Well, this should be insane: Kathy Griffin will host Comedy Central's roast on Joan Rivers. "I will be roasting Joan with more gentleness and tenderness than her latest chemical peel," quips Kath. [Variety]
• Bruce Willis' Idaho ski lodge burned down earlier this year, and the actor is planning on rebuilding bigger and better. [USA Today]
• Ooh la la: Kristin Scott Thomas will star in a production of A Little Night Music on the stage in Paris. [Variety]
• My übercrush Benicio Del Toro visited a prison in Puerto Rico Monday, telling inmates in a theater group: "I believe everyone needs a second chance… I am here to help reaffirm that as long as there is life, you can still help society in some way, you can improve yourself." [AP]
• Even though Winona Ryder has said a Heathers sequel was "in the works," the film's director, Michael Lehmann, says: "Winona brings it up every once in a while and [writer] Dan Waters and I will joke about it but as far as I know there's no script and no plans to do the sequel. I never thought it made sense to see a sequel to a movie which took place in a specific time and specific place and in which many of the characters got killed off." Well. Fuck me gently with a chain saw. [Daily Express]
• Anna Kournikova was seen with a huge diamond ring on THAT finger but tried to hide it and refused to elaborate. [AP, Page Six]
• Blind item! "Damage control! Which hard-partying actor rushed back to his local AA chapter when he was caught drinking, but is actually still on the sauce?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Quidditch is right up there with the least fun things I've done in Harry Potter. It's not a pleasant experience, it does hurt quite a lot and it's not something I would rush back to." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Telegraph]
• "I've had a cross tattooed over the tattoo I got of his name. I won't get his name removed because he was part of my life but I just want to get on with the divorce now." — Katie "Jordan" Price on estranged hubs Peter Andre. [The Sun]
• "I would like to think I haven't been influenced by him too much just by playing him for so long. I am thrilled to have this in my life, but it is separate from my life, you know? It's nice to be called Dan. And actually I started correcting people now. You do feel like a bit of an idiot doing that, but at the same time, in the long run it is better for us. I know it's better for me." — Daniel Radcliffe, who would like to remind you that he is not actually Harry Potter. [LA Times]

• Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston have split after less than a year together. A source says the breakup was a result of Miley's traveling, and not Nick Jonas, although he and Miley "have been spending time together." [Us]

• Adam Lambert's debut album is set to drop in the fall. He says, "It's going to be ridiculous! Get Ready!!!" [People]
• And Lambert's "official coming out cover of Rolling Stone" apparently includes a disturbingly-placed snake. [Perez Hilton]
• Megan Fox is in favor of legalizing marijuana. If it ever happened, she says, she'd be the "first person in line to buy a pack of joints." [TMZ]
• In what is perhaps the most superficial news item ever, Heidi Montag Pratt is starting a dry shampoo line inspired by her hair care experiences on I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!. [Life & Style]
• Also, Heidi and Spencer have left the show for real this time. Hollywood publicist Michael Levine says, "the audience is also ridiculous for partnering in their absurdity." Well, yeah. [ABC]
• Adam Ant credits his comeback from "his deranged and bloated appearance" seven years ago to regular exercise and his girlfriend Clare, who makes sure he eats "only the finest healthy food." [Daily Mail]
• DJ Jazzy Jeff "stormed off the stage" at Kansas City venue Power & Light District, and later said managers stopped the show "for playin' hip hop." The managers say they just wanted him to turn the music down. [Breitbart]
• Okay, so maybe Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore didn't invite Susan Boyle to sing at their anniversary. [Telegraph]
• On September 9, Natalie Cole will give her first concert after her kidney transplant and her sister's death. [AP, via Yahoo News]
• David Carradine's ex-wife says he once suspended himself from a rope in a crucifixion position while she was giving a party. When she asked him what he was doing, he said, "I really would like a sandwich." [TMZ]
• The Thai police say the FBI can get involved in investigating Carradine's death, but only in an "observer role." [TMZ]
• And photos of Carradine's body show that the rope around his neck was knotted in the front, making it more likely his death was an accident. Apparently people who practice bondage frequently knot ropes in the front for easier release. [TMZ]
• Thirty-four-year-old Enrique Iglesias says he's not yet "mature" enough to father Anna Kournikova's children. [TMZ]
• A new play about Kurt Cobain is running in London, but will it be as good as Christopher Walken's play about Elvis? [Independent]
• Bret Michaels broke his nose and split his lip when he was hit by a falling sign at the Tony Awards, but he was apparently really nice about it. [People]
• Emeril Lagasse helped Jon and Kate Gosselin prepare a meal for their 100th episode. The menu included green bean casserole, chili macaroni, and, oddly, granola. [People]
• A Toni Braxton impersonator accused of telling a Suriname audience she was the real Toni Braxton has been acquitted. WTF. [AP, via Yahoo News]
• Mike Tyson has married his girlfriend after the death of their daughter Exodus. [Radar Online]
• Shanna Moakler surprisingly took the high road in response to Travis Barker's defamatory tweets. She had her reps tell OK!, "Shanna is not going to play out her personal relationships in the media." Her relationship to Carrie Prejean's breasts is another story.[Perez Hilton]
• Depeche Mode has resumed its tour after singer Dave Gahan's cancer surgery. [NYT]
• In potentially disturbing news for St. Lucia's youth, Amy Winehouse has pledged to help them. [Mirror]
• OK! is taking Emma Watson's statement that "there's something going on" between Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart as proof that they are together. [OK!]
• But Watson's publicist says the statement is made up! [Perez Hilton]
• Some sources say Leonardo Dicaprio and Bar Rafaeli have broken up. [People]
• Others say they are still together, but "miserable-looking." [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton loves Doug Reinhardt, but not Kim Kardashian — according to Doug Reinhardt. [E! Online]
• Anika Noni Rose says Jennifer Hudson will be a great mom. "It's been a harrowing year for her and I hope that she finds comfort, joy and support and that she can move forward with her new baby," Rose adds. [People]
• Prince reportedly needs two hip replacements, but refuses because, as a Jehovah's Witness, he can't get a blood transfusion. [Showbiz411.com]
• A tabloid reporter slyly questions whether Brooke Shields's mom really has dementia, then says he and Teri Shields were great friends and that "most of our wonderful afternoons together never resulted in a story." What a saint. [National Enquirer]
• Terrence Howard says the Obamas should go to Prague on one of their date nights, because it is "an untapped resource of love and romance," while Paris is "overused." Russell Simmons thinks they should go to a yoga studio. [Politico]
• "I went to see Andrea Bocelli last night. The first time I've been out in months. The Hollywood Bowl allowed me to use my wheelchair." — Elizabeth Taylor, via Twitter [CNN]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway, on playing Judy Garland in an upcoming biopic [Daily Express]
• "I have a body that girls can look at and go, Oh she's not anorexically skinny. She looks healthy and she's got cellulite, yeah!" — Hayden Panettiere [E! Online]
• "(These shows) are a reflection of our society. You hear kids saying that they want to be famous, and when you ask them what for, they don't know - they just want to be famous. It's like there is this lack of passion in the doing of something that that might bring you riches. When I was little, I never said I wanted to be famous, I said I wanted to be a musician." — Lenny Kravitz, on reality shows [Daily Express]
• "He violated me. I never told anybody. I just buried it as deeply as I could and kept people at an arms length. I never really let a person get too close to me. I could have been married years ago, but I had a commitment issue." — Queen Latifah, speaking out for the first time about her childhood sexual abuse [The Sun]
• "Just know that this too shall pass.… Next week, it will be someone else on the cover [of magazines] and you can go about your life." — the sage Tori Spelling, advising Jon and Kate Gosselin on their notoriety [LA Times]

• Lindsay Lohan had a "meltdown" in a club in London, which involved saying:

"I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged." Then Lindsay tried to curl up in a ball on the floor. According to this report. [Mirror]

• Brad and Angie to wed??? Apparently someone sent Angelina Jolie all the press clippings about her "relationship problems," so she has decided that she and Brad should get married and put an end to the stories. A rumor about a Brangelina wedding circulates pretty much once a year, so perhaps we were overdue. [Mirror]
• BREAKING: Mariah Carey has been "stuffing her face" while making her album. "She has put on about 15 pounds, but she loves the curves," says a "source." [Page Six]
• Uh-oh: Pete Doherty was arrested in Switzerland after being found "slumped" in the bathroom of a British Airways flight with a needle. [Sunday Mail]
• The Slumdog kids danced to the movie's hit song, "Jai Ho," in a Hong Kong shopping mall on Saturday to raise money for charity. According to this report, "They sang off-key but drew an enthusiastic response." [Hindustan Times]
• Heidi and Spencer were "tortured" on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, by being held in a dark room with only water, rice and beans. Heidi was rushed to the hospital with what was diagnosed as a gastric ulcer; she has been released. If all of this is part of the Speidi attention machine, it's certainly impressive. [TMZ]
• Spencer claims he was locked up for 3 days with no food or water; producers say it was 8-10 hours max, with food and water. [TMZ]
• This report says Heidi and Spencer were in the Lost Chamber for 14 hours. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The production company behind I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here says that "All allegations of the celebrities being deprived of food and water are completely untrue." [Perez]
• Susan Boyle has signed with Ossie Kilkenny, the manager who made u2 millions. [Mirror]
• Chelsy Davy "can't wait" to see Prince Harry at a party this week. or something, This picture, in which Prince Harry's hand seems to be about to grab Prince Harry's crotch, is distracting. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Christina Ricci has called off her engagement, she and her ex-fiancé, Owen Benjamin, went to the movies Saturday night. [TMZ]
• It's hard to even understand how this is a news item, but here it is: Dancing With The Stars' Cheryl Burke has dropped some "excess" pounds and is "enjoying her new figure." [UPI]
• Brooke Shields and the National Enquirer have reached a settlement over the May incident in which two reporters checked Brooke's mom out of a nursing home to get a story. Also: The mag has agreed to make a generous donation to further research on dementia. [UPI]
• Kirsten Dunst: Returning to the Spider-Man franchise for flick number four. Will there be a Spidey wedding? [E!]
• Will Alec Baldwin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and Tommy Mottola all move into the same gorgeous NYC building? [NY Times]
• Cameron Diaz says her costars on My Sister's Keeper helped her deal with the sudden death of her father: "I was really, really fortunate to have these people to come back to." [People]
• The family of David Carradine is asking the FBI to investigate the actor's death. [Us Magazine, People]
• Want details from David Carradine's death? Click away. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson's mom, Goldie Hawn, is allegedly worried about Kate dating Alex Rodriguez. A source says: "Kate's had a string of boyfriends since her divorce from Chris Robinson and it's always the same pattern – she falls hard and fast, then gets bored or has her heart broken. Goldie hates the idea of seeing Kate getting hurt again." [Daily Mail]
• Katie "Jordan" Price is "drinking heavily, taking sleeping pills and barely eating" since splitting with husband Peter Andre. [Telegraph]
• This report shows Katie "Jordan" Price very calmly shopping with her kids. [Daily Mail]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard stopped six lanes of traffic in Beverly Hills to save the life of a baby bird. [Page Six]
• Another day, another Kylie Minogue wedding rumor. This time, her man gave her a rose, so, clearly they are getting hitched. [Daily Mail]
• Will Michael Jackson try and turn his London mansion into the new Neverland? [The Sun]
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway, who were husband and wife in Brokeback Mountain, may reunite in a flick called Love and Other Drugs, an adaptation of Jamie Reidy's nonfiction book Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• What, what? A film adaptation of Eat, Pray, Love? With Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem? Oookay. [Variety]
• "In a PawNation poll, 70 percent of animal lovers voted Jennifer Aniston as the celeb they would trust to pet sit their furry friend." Mickey Rourke came in second. [E!]
• Patrick Dempsey has a dream, and it involves having a nice bus so he can bring his kids racing with him. [People]
• Composer Benny Andersson of ABBA has contributed one million kronor ($128,000) to the Swedish feminist initiative. [Independent Political Report]
• "She divides her time between California and Colorado, and in both places she lives 'off the grid,' with her own sources of water and power. Her homes are powered by solar panels, her toilets are compost, her cars run on leftover grease from fast-food restaurants […] She wears recycled necklaces made of boiled-down shotgun casings. She has more than 20 animals - horses, alpacas, chickens, dogs, cows - all of which are rescues…" — from a profile on Daryl Hannah. [Guardian]
• In this interview with Harry Shearer, he talks being part of Spinal Tap and The Simpsons. [LA Times]
• James Caan and Scott Caan play father and son in a new film called Mercy. [LA Times]
• Check out a portrait of Sandra Bernhard by Timothy Greenfield-Sanders (and some information about the relationship between the photographer and the comedian) here. [HuffPo]
• Ooky, spooky, kooky: Bebe Neuwirth is working on a play based on The Addams Family. Snap, snap. [Gatecrasher]
• "There is nothing more humiliating for a stutterer than to have their word or sentence finished for them. I didn't have names for these fears." — from "How I Found My Voice," an essay by Carly Simon. [The Daily Beast]
• Evan Dando of the Lemonheads is suing General Motors, saying the company copied one of his songs for an ad. Dude, have you heard? They don't have any money! You're suing the bankrupt. [AP]
• Jon Voight is suing investors who sued him. [TMZ]
• The woman who inspired the Beatles song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is seriously ill. [Newser]
• Blind item! "Which once prominent magazine writer/TV interviewer now appears in elegant homes wearing men's clothes and a fedora? Sighed one jaded observer, 'These days, becoming a lesbian is a career move.'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which sexy leading man, known for his wandering eye, recently hooked up with a pouty songstress? The raven-haired rocker is a big change from his usual choice of supermodels." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which actor is on hiatus due to a drug relapse? He claimed he needed time off because of the heartbreak of his public split, but he's actually headed to rehab." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which heartthrob actor nearly cried bloody murder when he couldn't get into a private lounge?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't know him. I've never really seen him in interviews either. [But] yeah, he's cute. I'm a huge fan of the Twilight series." — Kelly Clarkson hearts Robert Pattinson! And she wrote a song, "Empty As I Am," inspired by the characters, which might make it on to the New Moon soundtrack. [Mirror]
• "I have people coming up to me all the time on the street and saying, 'My daughter's gay; thank you for this.' People send me e-mails like, 'My mother was going to take away my cellphone (and this and that) because I told her I was gay. She saw the movie and now she says she loves me.' It's a very powerful response. I get a lot of questions from people saying, when is it going to go to Ireland, to India…That gives me hope, that it's such a powerful story, being the truth, that it will transcend these other cultures and get Mary's message across." — Sigourney Weaver, on playing Mary Griffith, who attempted to save her gay son's soul by religious means before his suicide. [LA Times]
• "It's a mix of curiosity, fascination, respect and bewilderment. Twitter freaks me out. You have followers? It feels so obsessive and proprietary. It has great applications, and it's effective, I get it. But 'I did something, I did something else, I'm at it again.' Why? I'm still getting over YouTube, people. These breakthroughs are coming at such velocity that before you get your sea legs, there's another wave hitting you." — Mos Def. [USA Today]
• "I think she's much more raw in the third season. You see everything that's happening to her, so you see her more open and vulnerable, though she's being deceptive. You see her really desperate, which is a different side to her. I've been playing the character for so long now it comes naturally. [That allows me] to be more confident, take more risks, go bigger. In my film work, I'm scared to go too big — it's projected on the big screen and what not — but on Big Love, I feel I have a lot more freedom." — Chloe Sevigny on playing Nicolette "Nicki" Grant. [LA Times]
• "When I was a child my parents threatened to send me to a convent. I've often wondered how that would have worked out. I'd have made a terrible nun. I'm a good Catholic girl in the way that Madonna is. In the sense that I'm not that good at all. If the church is having a hard time recruiting nuns, I'd make an ideal poster girl. 'Become a nun or else end up like her!'" — Heather Graham. [Daily Mail]
• "I am who I am-a regular guy with a great job. How I'm analyzed belongs to someone else. In a few minutes, I've got a kid's game to go to, and then I'm taking our daughter to auditions. Today, that's my job." — Denzel Washington. [Reader's Digest]
• "The problem with Harry Potter is that there is so little controversy. It would be so great for the press if one of them would go off the rails and end up in rehab, but they are, actually, just really sweet guys." — Jason Isaacs, who plays Lucius Malfoy. [Telegraph]
• "The moment that changed me for ever ... was becoming a vegetarian aged 17; my whole life changed. I spent a lot of time hanging out in the woods near my house and felt a connection to the birds and trees." — Chrissie Hynde. [Independent]
• "I really wish I could play, but I don't at all." — Princess Beatrice, on polo. [Telegraph]
• "I never said (I wasn't returning). I just said that I'm not sure. It's called, um, 'negotiating.'" — Paula Abdul on whether she'll return to American Idol. [UPI]
• "When people talk about reincarnation, I always feel that if there is such a thing, this is definitely my first time, because I'm always amazed. I'm both amazed at how horrifically we can treat each other and all other living things, and also amazed at the wonder and the beauty. I'm like: 'Oh my God, look at that bird!' or 'Look at that flower!' literally every single day. I can't get over how people are putting so much energy and so many resources into going to Mars when everything we could ever dream of is on this planet, if we just take care of it. What do they have on Mars? They don't even have oxygen up there!" — Daryl Hannah. [Guardian]
• "I can never get close. My No. 1 job is always, always, always stand-up. It has to be a no-holds-barred attitude. Let me give you an example. I met Drew Barrymore a couple times. I went to a party at her house. And she said, 'You know, you should come to one of my small dinner parties, we hate the same people.' But if I'm sitting next to Courtney Love and she falls over, I can't not put it in the act. I'm responsible to my audience the way most people feel responsible to their Lord Jesus." — Kathy Griffin. [LA Times]
• "I learned that when you yell, nobody hears you. The best communicators have to live and present themselves in a peaceful manner. And that's going to be a lifelong quest of mine. I don't have a temper. I've never broken everything. I've never thrown a thing. But I have passion. If I feel passionate, you're going to know." — Rosie O'Donnell. [CBS News]
• "It depends where you are in the world. It's not brilliant here in Britain compared to, for example, Scandinavia – maternity leave and everything is different and they're much more clued in to what parents and children need. We still have quite a lot of Victorian principles hanging on, you can see it and feel it." — Emma Thompson, on Britain not being helpful to working mothers. [Daily Express]
• "I'm taking a year off. That's my birthday present to myself. I'm not going to act, write or anything like that. I'll be a mum, teach drama at my daughter's school, I'll cook meals and have fun, go out with my friends, I'll go to movies and not think about working. I'll see what bubbles up after that." — Emma Thompson. [Mirror]
• "I was insane to go on the Spice tour three months after having [my son]Beau. I wouldn't put myself through it again. At the time I was very self conscious about it all. It was awful. I remember being on stage and going numb and thinking everyone was looking at my body and that it wasn't perfect and I was next to the other girls […] Can you believe [Mel B] does 600 [sit ups a day]? That's nuts. Twenty sit ups and I'm done." — Emma Bunton, aka Baby Spice. [Mirror]
• "I'm convinced he plays for the other team. I even had my gay friends assess the situation" — Bethenny Frankel, joking about her boyfriend, Jason Hoppy. [Page Six]
• "I think what Drew and I found was a connection very similar to the connection between the characters. We adored each other; we played off each other. I can't imagine doing it with anybody else. It's two parts of a whole, really." — Jessica Lange, on Grey Gardens. [LA Times]
• "I'm an awkward kid from Long Island who had a dream about going to New York and becoming an actress. That's who I still am in my core… I fell into this phenomenon. Huge. Huge. This doesn't happen to most people. I'm lucky in that the way I look has never gotten me anything." — Edie Falco. [UPI]
• "I haven't done any exercise since October. I haven't done a thing. So who knows how I'm holding it together." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]

• Katie Holmes is fed up with the speculation that her marriage to Tom Cruise is in trouble, and has started speaking out. A source claims the couple is trying to be more "media friendly." [DailyExpress]

• "Some of the stuff people have said is absolutely horrible. It is so disgusting and uncalled for," Holmes says. A source says that Tom and Kate "want to be more media friendly to show the world just how ridiculous some of the tabloid tales about Katie being ‘trapped' and ‘miserable' really are This is something they are approaching with caution... Things have gotten so out of control that both he and Katie are prepared to have some of their privacy invaded just to show the world they aren't unhappy."[DailyExpress]
• A source claims that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are sleeping in separate houses. "They would often sleep as far away from each other as possible, not even in separate bedrooms but in separate houses. Angelina spent most of her time in one of the annexes while Brad lived in the main house with its ten bedrooms. He wasn't actually there for much of the time, which upset Angie and caused major ructions in their relationship." [DailyMail]
• Heidi Montag-Pratt was taken to a Costa Rican hospital last night for unknown reasons. Stephanie Pratt posted this possible explanation on her Twitter page last night: "[Heidi was] rushed to the hospital and has an IV in her arm after being locked in a dark room for 3 days w no food or water. Pls pray she will be ok... "[OK]
• Are Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban planning on adopting a baby from Vietnam? A government official says: "Yes, Nicole Kidman wants a baby from Vietnam. We've been approached by the American Embassy." So much for privacy, eh? [DailyExpress]
• Meanwhile, Madonna is looking into adopting a baby from Lesotho. [DailyMail]
• David Carradine's family has asked the FBI to help them uncover the details of Carradine's death. [People]
• Whoops! A photographer, attempting to compliment Blake Lively, yelled out, "Blake Lively, you look beautiful! Like a llama!" He meant to say gazelle, of course. Not that llamas aren't also lovely! [PageSix]
• Brooke Shields has reached a settlement with the National Enquirer after two reporters working for the magazine took her mother, Teri Shields out of her nursing home earlier this month without Brooke's permission. [People]
• Ron Jeremy plans to open a swinger's club in downtown Portland, Oregon later this month. [PageSix]
• Goldie Hawn has warned her daughter, Kate Hudson to be careful when dating Alex Rodriguez. "Goldie hates the idea of seeing Kate getting hurt again," says a source. [DailyMail]
• Will Ferrell's Land of the Lost bombed at the box office on Friday, taking in only 7 million dollars. Meanwhile, Up and The Hangover are on track to make 45 million dollars apiece by the end of the weekend. [E!]
• Britney Spears went clubbing after her show last night, and was surrounded by alcohol, which she's banned from the backstage areas at her show. "She didn't drink and was only there for 45 minutes though," says a source. [TheSun]
• "I drive around on a tractor. I sip a little moonshine. I act like I know what I'm doing, but I have no clue. And the locals are like, "Who is this idiot?" But they're very nice to me."- Zach Galifianakis on his downtime on his farm in North Carolina. [EW]
• Blind Item::"This Female Superstar is used to being in the spotlight. She loves the headlines, but her controlling husband wants her to sit down, stay home and watch their babies. Will her need to have a career ruin her marriage?" [BlindGossip]
• Cameron Diaz says that her co-stars on the set of My Sister's Keeper helped her deal with the death of her father: "I was really, really fortunate to have these people to come back to," she says, "Being able to go back to the group of people who were there waiting for me was a blessing, ... so that's really sort of the only way I was able to do it." [People]
• Lindsay Lohan has spoken out about Dr. Drew's statement that she'd need to "lose a limb" before getting sober by posting this zinger on her Twitter page: "I thought REAL doctors talk to patients in offices behind closed doors. Am I wrong? Hmmmmm. I think NOT! Yay!"[PopCrunch]

• In case you were wondering what "the lowest of the low" looks like: tabloid reporters allegedly checked Brooke Shields' 75-year-old mother, Teri, out of an assisted living facility in order to get a story. [People]

• Shields claims that two reporters from the National Enquirer pretended to be friends of her mother, who suffers from dementia, in order to check her out of the facility. "They then drove my 75-year-old mother around looking for a tabloid story," says Shields, "As anyone knows who has a parent who suffers from dementia or Alzheimer's, it is one of the most difficult experiences you can go through as a son or daughter. The idea that the National Enquirer took advantage of her state is reprehensible and disgusting." [People]
• Natalie Portman denies the rumors that she is dating Sean Penn: "Sean Penn is a friend and colleague. The reports that we are romantically involved are completely untrue. I normally do not respond to rumors about my private life, however, this repeatedly fabricated story has forced me to do so." [USWeekly]
• "Everybody has the right to vocalize their own opinion. Me personally-I think that everybody deserves equal rights, it's really as simple as that."-Kristen Dalton, Miss USA 2009. [E!]
• Britney Spears reportedly spent over 10 million dollars between February and December of last year, including $625,000 that went to pay Kevin Federline's lawyers. The court documents refer to these payments as "Federline Fees." Ugh. Haven't we all paid our Federline Fees at this point? [TMZ]
• A source claims that Michael Jackson is currently battling skin cancer: "Michael's test showed spots of skin cancer on his body, and cell which could turn to skin cancer on his face," says the source, "He was at first very concerned, but says he has been assured by the doctors that they can treat this and he will recover." [DailyMail]
• "To be a contemporary movie actor, you have to kill people - that's basically it. If you don't cock'n'load'n'fire a Smith & Wesson at some point in your film career, you're not going to have a film career. There just aren't enough movies that I like to keep me working in movies all the time. Well, let me rephrase that: there aren't enough available parts.""-Ethan Hawke [Guardian]
• An employee of the restaurant Justin Timberlake formerly owned, Southern Hospitality, has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the current owners, claiming that her fellow employees forced her to watch "pornography while in a locked room... and made fun of her when she began crying." [TMZ]
• "In keeping with the great tradition of stars like Madonna and Cher who are on a first-name-only basis with their fans, I've decided to go by the name of 'Heidi.'"- Heidi Montag Pratt [E!]
• Spencer Pratt's take: "Legally, she's a Pratt. But to her fans she is 'Heidi.' I totally support my beautiful wife-no matter what she calls herself." Related: I would like to know how the reporter kept a straight face after Spencer said, "Legally, she's a Pratt." [E!]
• Gwen Stefani is looking forward to touring with No Doubt: "We're from Anaheim. This is cliche to say, but we never thought this would happen to us. We built a studio in the garage, and now we're driving around on tour with a bus that has a studio in it. We survived it all and we're still friends, and that's great." [Reuters]
• In a video that is slightly reminiscent of my own childhood experience with reading Where The Wild Things Are for the first time, Spike Jonze scares the daylights out of a small child by wearing a mask from the film. [Filmdrunk]
• "Whatever passes for normal for me is very important, otherwise there's nothing to feed what I write about. My lyrics have always been fairly straightforward. They're very narrative-based; there's not much room for interpretation. Therefore my songs have to be about something. So my real life is precious."-Jarvis Cocker [TimesOnline]
• Former Bachelorette Jen Schefft has married her non-tv-show related fiance, Joe Waterman. [USWeekly]
• A source claims that Kelly Bensimon regrets signing on to The Real Housewives of New York: "She realizes it was a mistake," says the source, "It has ruined her socially. She knows how bad she came off." Bensimon, however, denies the claims: "I think that's laughable. I had a fabulous experience on the show. My friends love me and had a ball watching me." [PageSix]
• Vanessa Hudgens on her upcoming non-Disney role: "People I think are going to be genuinely shocked,'' Hudgens said. ''It's about these girls in a mental institution that in their heads gets turned around to be a brothel. And in the meanwhile they are kicking serious ass." But will there be a choreographed dance number? [NYTimes]

• Ashton Kutcher elaborately pranked CNN and Ted Turner:

He threw a banner with his Twitter name, aplusk, over the CNN neon sign at the Atlanta, GA news center. Earlier in the day, he'd visited a restaurant owned by Ted Turner, Ted's Montana Grill, and, with the help of some friends, neatly stacked hundreds of boxes of Ding Dongs in front of the establishment. Kutcher had challenged CNN to a Twitter race, saying he would donate 10,000 mosquito bed nets to charity for World Malaria Day if he beat CNN, and 1,000 if he lost. CNN agreed to do the same. "CNN lost. That's what happened," Kutcher explained. "I'm just fulfilling a promise I made ... that I'd do this thing and I'm doing it." [CNN]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are indeed having some kind of Kabbalah commitment ceremony, but Jesus's dad says it's not necessarily legally binding: "I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity." Yeah, no way she is letting him near her cash. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse's father says he fears for her life: "After she almost died twice from drug related problems, to see her walking, smiling - she has progressed so much. But now, if it's alcohol instead of hard drugs - I don't think I can go through that again. I've decided to distance myself, and whatever happens, happens. It's her life. It's her career. It's her decision." [Ok! UK]
• Britney Spears is taking her Circus tour to Europe, which means her kids are going, which means Kevin Federline is getting a free trip as well. [E!]
• Oh, nice headline: "Kelly Clarkson And 'K-Fed' Hit The 'Big' Time With Weight Gains." [Gatecrasher]
• Real Housewives feel remorse! Kelly Bensimon is sorry for being obnoxious to Bethenny Frankel: She emailed, "I honestly owe you an apology." Apparently when Kelly went off on Bethenny there were other reasons she was upset: she had an ex-boyfriend "harassing" her "like crazy," she was late because she had to "organize the girls to go to the beach" and, she claims, "My driver who has been with me since I was 23 told me he had terminal cancer." [Page Six]
• The home of Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, child star of Slumdog Millionaire, has been destroyed by the government. Authorities claim he and other families were squatting on land they did not own, and now, Azharuddin says: "We are homeless, we have nowhere to go." [BBC News]
• In the new Essence, Jennifer Hudson opens up about her murdered mother: "I was always a mama's baby," she says. "I'd go and sleep in her bed until I was 15 years old." Ugh. Sadness! She also says: "The thing that keeps me going is knowing that God is in control. It's like, if He placed me here then I must be prepared." [People]
• Details are leaking out about what really happened the night of the Met Gala: Kiefer Sutherland and Brooke Shields were both drunkety drunk drunk drunk; Jack McCollough did bump into Brooke; she did fall; but it had more to do with the fact that she was wasted and wearing heels. Brooke was fine, but Kiefer "insisted" that McCollough apologize, and then got all nuts and headbutted the designer. Kiefer had blood on his forehead and Brooke was like, "What is that?" A source says: "She thought it was a joke or maybe cherry juice and LICKED IT!!!!!" And! Brooke didn't remember any of it until she read it in the paper the next day. [Perez]
• "Kiefer Sutherland talks Jack Bauer's deathbed and what's next on 24." [LA Times]
• Practice your curtsey: Prince Harry is coming to NYC! [NY Daily News]
• Oh, good: A job for Lindsay Lohan! She'll star in an "indie fantasy comedy" with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews (?!) and Alanis Morissette (!!). The plot revolves around a grad student who spends the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island and discovers an "eccentric community of characters" hiding a secret. And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away… [Variety]
• Will Olivia Palermo of The City get a "job" at Elle? [Page Six]
• Remember that Absolutely Fabulous remake with Kristin Johnston? Fox "passed" after seeing the pilot. In other words, the project is dead, sweetie darling. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Susan Boyle rode in an airplane for the first time in 8 years, to go from Scotland to London for some voice lessons. This gave the paper permission to call her "The Airy Angel." [The Sun]
• Peaches Geldof was actually heard saying "Don't you know who I am?" while trying to get into a club in London. It didn't work. [Daily Mail]
• Beyoncé and T.I. are the artists with the most BET Award nominations; Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Keri Hilson, Jennifer Hudson, Jazmine Sullivan, Kanye West, Keyshia Cole and Jamie Foxx are also up for prizes. Jamie Foxx hosts; the ceremony is June 28. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Farrah Fawcett's video diary of her struggle with cancer airs tomorrow, but here's a preview. [NY Post]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett recommends the Gosselins of Jon & Kate Plus 8 "get out while they can" and "step off the reality TV gravy train and reclaim their lives." She writes: "Celebrity that comes by way of reality only ends badly. Step away from that sippy cup of confidence that's saying that you can still have the same appeal if you're not together. Apart, you're not the characters those 4.6 million people wanted to watch on TV." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre's split might just be a publicity stunt. Snooze. [Daily Mail]
• Jordan's dressage coach denies being involved with her. Also, LOL pix of Jordan in riding gear. [The Sun]
• This other dressage dude says Jordan's hubs Peter Andre is jealous and always has been. [Daily Mail]
• If you watched American Idol last night, you saw Alicia Keys asking people to text for charity as part of her work for Keep A Child Alive. [AP]
• John Mayer dated this model/actress and she's been babbling and blabbing (blabbling?) about him and how he feels about breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, saying: "He's never really got over it and he still talks about her a lot. He's been playing guitar alone at night, pining over her." Yawn. NEXT. [Perez]
• John Mayer once texted starlet Jessie James, "Let me tuck you in. I want to see you." [Page Six]
• If you liked Cornify, you might like to Kanyefy, with the Kanye West shutter-shades inspired Kanye Vision Bookmarklet. OMG what happens if you use them together?!?!? [F.A.T.]
• Well now I feel really really old: It's the 20th anniversary of Lenny Kravitz's debut album, Let Love Rule. He's celebrating by issuing a remaster with additional material, and says: "If you had asked me 20 years ago if I thought the world would be a better place in 20 years, I would have thought yeah, I would have thought that we'd have some kind of evolution even if it was minimal, but in actuality we are in a much worse place as a global community and as just the planet earth, itself, environmentally as well. I'm not less hopeful. I take the position of remaining optimistic but there's a much deeper hill to climb." [AP]
• Whoa: Mel Gibson paid his wife to stay quiet about their separation, which happened three years ago. He agreed to give her $52 million per year. For that amount of cash, I won't say another word about you Mel. Honest! [MSNBC]
• Rob Lowe and one of his former nannies have both decided to dismiss their lawsuits against each other; Lowe is still in another legal battle with a different nanny. [People]
• Barbra Streisand's ex, Jon Peters, is spilling secrets about how the diva was sexually abused by a slimy movie mogul and had affairs with three of her leading men. [Page Six]
• Cheers star John Ratzenberger has filed a restraining order against his 45-year-old ex girlfriend because she has "indicated that it is common in many country western songs for women to set the cars of their former boyfriends on fire." [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which infamously perverted actor should start checking his dates' IDs? He may not realize that he recently went out with some serious jailbait!" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's known that Jenny Craig has the best tasting food. That's just a fact." — Valerie Bertinelli. [ABC News]
• "That's such a tough question. I would say, probably something in the health industry. It's too late to go to medical school. I'd travel. I'd go back to the years that I never did what I'd wish I'd done, which was travel Europe and backpack. That sounds slightly romantic. What I would do? I don't know. Maybe become a chef. There's so much more to do. It's almost overwhelming. I've gotten to a great place in my career." — Jennifer Aniston, when asked what she would do if she could ditch acting for some other pursuit. [USA Today]
• "I am a real threat to cover 'White Christmas' this year. I'm warning you now: I'm ready, cocked and loaded." — Iggy Pop, to Relix. [Page Six]
• "[Sunglasses] are seriously useful. I can sit in a show and if I am bored out of my mind, nobody will notice… At this point, they have become, really, armor." — Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• "I'm a completely different person than Lauren. I have a lot more energy. I'm more outgoing. I'm a little more spontaneous. And she has a boyfriend so she's not dating on the show. I'm very open to dating and finding a guy." — Kristin Cavallari, who is the new star of The Hills. [EW]

• Rihanna has a new song, with guest vocals by Lady GaGa, titled Silly Boy. Kanye West posted it online, and the lyrics are:

"I said I'm not coming back. You fooled me once but you can't have that ego turning… Cause you had a good girl, good girl, girl. That's a keeper. You had a good girl, good girl but didn't know how to treat her… So silly boy get out my face. Why do you like the way regrets taste?" Maybe I'm old, but the vocals sound like they were performed by a GPS unit on a dashboard. [The Sun]

• Wow. Eminem is flying 200 laid-off Toledo auto workers to L.A. to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live May 15. The idea is to "put a face on" the plight of American auto workers. [Toledo Free Press]
• Tourism peeps in St. Lucia are still glad Amy Winehouse performed, even though her set at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival was cut short because of rain. Uh, didn't she walk off the stage? [Yahoo News via AP]
• Madonna is so over Yankee Alex Rodriguez, she took her kids to a Mets game. Burn! [Page Six]
• Although Brooke Shields is calling Kiefer Sutherland a "gentleman," this report notes that one of his former co-stars claims he would "go to the bar immediately after he'd finish working. He'd sit there for hours, putting them back. When it was time to go home, he'd be cantankerous and ornery. He was not a pleasant drunk." Now he faces a $1,000 fine and a year in jail in L.A. for violating his DUI probation. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows in a "white trash" wedding, and reporter Rosemary Black writes, "Why is it still PC to make fun of a huge segment of the Caucasian population that is frequently low income and under-educated?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Kara DioGuardi return for another season of American Idol? Seems like she doesn't even know: "I hope I'm here for another season," she says, "but I haven't been asked yet." [Gatecrasher]
• After his stint on Saturday Night Live, Justin Timberlake had dinner with girlfriend Jessica Biel and father Randy Timberlake, who "seemed really proud of him." Aww. [Page Six]
• A lady who works at a St. Louis beauty salon found the Twilight sequel script in the trash outside of a hotel. She returned the New Moon pages to the studio and has been invited to the premiere. [Breitbart]
• The National Enquirer says that Kevin Federline wants more cash from Britney: He currently gets about $40,000 a month but "can't afford the rent, his help, the food and the booze it takes to keep up (his home)." According to a source. [MSNBC]
• Speaking of Britney, Sam Lutfi may have to pay her legal fees from the courtroom battle over the restraining order; that's about $123,142. Not to mention the $72,292 her lawyers are going to try and squeeze out of Adnan Ghalib. [People]
• How will the show Jon & Kate Plus 8 — the fifth season of which premieres in two weeks — deal with the "scandal" its star, Jon Gosselin is involved in? [MSNBC]
• Oh, no. No no no no. Jennifer Aniston wants to be on Mad Men. "I like Mad Men," says Jennifer. "I would love to be in that, it's great. I love the era. I would love it if they offered me a role." But, but, that's part of the charm! That there are no "stars," except for the ones the show created! Sniff. Sob. [Daily Express]
• These drunk pix allegedly caused the marriage of Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre to disintegrate. The "mystery man" makes my gaydar ping, though. [The Sun]
• On Celebrity Apprentice, Joan Rivers sniped that Annie Duke was "worse than Hitler; Hitler never had PMS." Now Rivers says: "It's just an expression. But I stand behind it." [CNN]
• This paper says Joan Rivers is "forever the comeback kid." [NY Daily News]
• In this video interview from August, Farrah Fawcett talks about her terminal cancer: "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope. It was stressful. I was terrified of getting the chemo. It's not pleasant. And the radiation is not pleasant. It becomes your life. People call, 'How are you?' 'How do you feel?' 'We're praying for you.' 'Do you still have your hair?' 'What do you feel like?' When every single call is that kind of call… it's all you talk about. It's all-consuming. Then, your quality of life is never the same." [LA Times]
• In this video, Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart talks about the "cutting edge" treatment FF received in Germany. [ET]
• Ryan O'Neal recalls the moment he knew Farrah Fawcett was really really sick; they were walking on the beach: "We used to take that walk all the time to the rocks and back. And halfway there she stopped and said, 'Can we go back?' And Red and I looked at each other and we knew…" Also, Farrah doesn't realize son Redmond visits the house in shackles, since he is currently serving a jail sentence. "When you go in to her," Ryan tells Redmond, "don't rattle your chains." Ryan told Today's Meredith Vieira, "She doesn't know... she just holds him." [People]
• The Gossip Girl spinoff, possibly now called Lily and not Valley Girls, appears to be BACK ON. [NY Mag]
• Heidi Montag Pratt has a new video, which involves writhing in a bikini. Also breaking: The sky is blue. [Perez]
• In this interview with Depeche Mode, Martin Gore talks about giving up drinking and Andy Fletcher comments on the band's 30th year of being together: "I think at first when we found out it was going to be 30 years, I think it was, 'Oh my God, how embarrassing. We're really old!' But I think now we've really got our heads around it, and I think it's something to be actually proud of." [CNN]
• Yoko Ono has unveiled a John Lennon exhibit at New York City's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex. Included is a billboard featuring Lennon's blood-splattered glasses that marked the 30th anniversary of his death. Ono says: "I thought I might be criticized for it.. But it's very important now for people to understand what violence is about." [USA Today]
• Congrats to SNL star Maya Rudolph, who is expecting baby number 2. [People]
• Ooh, Rachel Weisz is in talks to play one of my faves, Hedy Lamarr, in a flick called Face Value. Lamarr was not only a screen siren but an accomplished scientist; she created a method of changing frequencies which is the key to modern wireless communication — which will be the subject of the film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Dermot Mulroney will make his directorial debut, Keep It Together, a comedy/drama about "love and divorce." Christopher Walken and Blythe Danner in negotiations to join the cast! [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Scott Speedman is in Atom Egoyan's film Adoration as a tow truck driver: "The guy teaching me didn't realize I was an actor doing it for a movie. He yelled at me up and down. I didn't use a tow double, even though I'm sure they had one at the ready." [USA Today]
• Every anniversary, Tori Spelling's husband slips a new diamond ring on her finger and this year it is a white diamond and a yellow diamond and blah blah blah being rich is awesome. [People]
• Trudie Styler, who co-founded the Rainforest Foundation, flew her hairstylist from New York to Washington, DC, last weekend on a private jet to do her hair and makeup for the White House Correspondents' Dinner. [Page Six]
• Mark Landon, eldest son of Michael Landon, has died at age 60. [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Simpsons stamp could become the nation's most popular stamp, knocking Elvis out of the top spot! [NY Post]
• Blind item! "Which buxom B-list pinup only helps out charities that ply her with cocaine?" [Gatecrasher]
• "How would you like being a young actor walking into a casting agent and the first thing they say is, 'Leave!' " — Liev Schreiber on NPR on the way people used to mispronounce his name. [Page Six]
• "As a mother, you have to read your kids a lot of these books, so it's fun to get involved in the process. I've had such a good time with this. This book is about becoming self aware and that realization in childhood. The title is my nickname, and I hated my nickname when I was seven years old. At that age, I tried to get rid of my freckles and I hated dodgeball - I still hate dodgeball." — Julianne Moore, at a reading of her second children's book, Freckleface Strawberry and the Dodgeball Bully. [WWD]
• "When David and I got to the first shoot we were both standing in our bathrobes, looking at each other and saying, 'Okay, who's going to drop their dressing gown first?' It can be a little intimidating standing half-naked in a studio full of strangers, so it's good to have the support of each other, reassuring and encouraging one another. David is always incredibly supportive of everything I do. I never used to go to the gym before working with Armani – but if you're going to be photographed in your bra and knickers you want to look as good as you can… I still work out every day. I drop the kids at school, and from the school I go to the gym and do the miles on the treadmill. I have worked hard, and if you are going to agree to be photographed in underwear you have to put the hours in, so when you turn up on the day and take off your robe you feel confident that you can do the job. As a 35-year-old mother of three, I'm looking okay." — Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]

• Brooke Shields is contradicting her own reps, who said she wasn't involved in the Kiefer Sutherland headbutting incident. Now she says she "was bumped into by Jack McCollough and Kiefer Sutherland became concerned."

• In a statement issued through her lawyer she added, "Kiefer has always been a gentleman in her company. Both Jack and Kiefer are friends of Ms. Shields and she regrets this unfortunate situation." [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep says he's "troubled by the untruthful and self-serving information circulating regarding Kiefer..." and is confident that the D.A. will throw out the assault charge against him. [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep added, "out of respect for this law enforcement process," Kiefer "will not be making any comment." [People]
• Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis, co-directors of Miss California USA, announced at a press conference that they have appointed the pageant's first runner up, Tami Farrell, the organization's "ambassador," negating Carrie Prejean's role as Miss California. Lewis explained, "If Miss California is unavailable, or if it would be unwise to put her in a specific appearance, we now have an ambassador to represent us." He added, "We've been hijacked at the moment; we've been unable to do the work at hand." [ABC News]
• Miss California USA officials also passed out a booklet at the press conference called, "Miss USA 2009 State Entry Contract: Sections violated by Carrie Prejean." In addition to Prejean's violations, it says the role of the new "Beauty of California Ambassador" is to take the reigns when the "Miss California USA or Miss California Teen USA titleholder is unavailable." [TMZ]
• Farrah Fawcett says she would have appreciated privacy during her 2.5 year battle with anal cancer, but the paparazzi have continued following her. "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope," she says. She's particularly mad about a December 2006 National Enquirer story called "Farrah Begs: 'Let Me Die." She says, "God, I would never say something like that. To think that people who did look up to me and felt positive because I was going through it too and yet I was strong … it just negated all that." [People]
• When Farrah Fawcett found out her cancer had returned in May 2007 she didn't tell her family and friends at first because she wanted to prove her theory that someone at UCLA was leaking her medical information to the tabloids. "I set it up with the doctor," said Farrah. "I said, 'OK, you know and I know.' . . . I knew that if it came out, it was coming from UCLA." The leaker, Lawanda Jackson, was paid $4,600 by the National Enquirer. She pleaded guilty in December to the charges, but died in March of cancer, before the sentencing. [The L.A. Times]
• 20-year-old Dania Marin has filed for a restraining order against Ryan O'Neal because she says he's been harassing her with lewd phone calls. "He asked me if I wanted to masturbate with him. Offered me a car back if I would engage with him," she claims. "He freaked me out. I filed the retraining order because I was afraid that he knew where I lived or would come to my house. He's old enough to be my grandfather." [The Daily Express]
• Michael Jackson's London concerts may not happen because the company that was putting together a series of concerts featuring Michael, Janet Jackson, and the rest of the family, have sent a cease and desist letter to the organizers of MJ's solo concerts. They say Jackson signed a contract saying he wouldn't make another concert deal for 18 months. [TMZ]
• In a new interview, Nadya Suleman says she "exaggerated" when she said recently that she was having half of her uterus removed so she couldn't have more kids. She says she's having a "myomectomy," a procedure to remove fibriods from her uterus. She says it will actually boost her fertility, but she doesn't plan on having any more. [Radar]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet say they will donate to a fund set up to pay the nursing home fees for Millvina Dean, the last living Titanic survivor. The British woman has been selling off Titanic memorabilia recently because she can't afford the fees for her nursing home, where she has lived for three years. [USA Today]
• David Hasselhoff's ex, Pamela Bach, has asked the judge in their divorce to order Hasselhoff to maintain life insurance, which would pay her support if David dies. Hasselhoff says that wasn't part of their divorce deal. [TMZ]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are trying to adopt a girl. "Harrison's begun the process of adopting Liam too," says a source. "He's been a father figure to the boy almost since day one." [Star]
• Though George Clooney says he'd be happy to take a lie detector test to prove that Rande Gerber is not guilty of sexual harassment, the two former waitresses suing Gerber have refused to take the test. [TMZ]
• When asked about his kissing scene with co-star Jennifer Aniston in The Baster, Jason Bateman said, "It felt ... It was a good scene, I'll say that. It was a good scene." [People]
• Matthew Reeve, Christopher Reeve's son, is running the New York City Marathon to raise money for his father's foundation, which helps people with spinal cord injuries. [AP]
• Kim Kardashian says her step-father, Bruce Jenner, "has gotten a lot of media criticism in the past for getting an ill-advised partial facelift and a nose job," 25 years ago. She wrote on her blog, "Unfortunately, the result wasn't what Bruce had hoped for ... Since he's turning 60 in October, Bruce felt it was time to correct the mistakes made by the previous doctor so he went to a new doctor for a second facelift. The results are amazing! Bruce looks better than ever and he is extremely happy with the result." [People]
• "I have acne scars. I'm self-conscious about that, so sometimes I wear too much makeup to cover them up. I got acne at the start of my career. It was a stressful time. I have insecurities like anyone." - Katy Perry. [Perez Hilton]
• Ginnifer Goodwin says, "I perpetuate rumors that I've dated people that I've never actually dated ... Dorothy Parker once said something along the lines of, ‘I don't care what's written about me so long as it isn't true.' It's safe making." [W]
• When reporters harassed Fergie about when she and husband Josh Duhamel are going to have kids, she said, "Now, it's all about the Black Eyed Peas ... We'll see. At the end of this run that we're doing right now, whatever feels natural and right. I always follow my gut. So, whatever it's going to tell me is going to be right." [People]
• Jamie Foxx will host the BET Awards on June 28. [UPI]
• One week after his brother died of cancer at 37, David Cook has resumed his tour. Halfway through the song "Lie" he stopped and told the audience, "It's gonna be tough for me. I'm sorry. Do you mind if I sing a different song?" [E!]
• Morrissey has cancelled a concert in London due to an undisclosed illness. [The Mirror]
• George Hamilton says of his sexual relationship with his step-mother that began when he was 12, "It really didn't seem that strange to me. I think I'd developed enough sexual energy by then to find the whole thing… well, interesting. When I look back on it, I don't think my life was changed as a result. I certainly don't think it was abuse. If anything, I think it made sex less important. I'd lost my virginity quite early on, and this freed me up. I wasn't so preoccupied with sex anymore." [The Telegraph]
• When asked if she is concerned that she is popular in the rest of the world but not the U.S., Kylie Minogue said, "It doesn't frustrate me. It's frustrating being asked about it and the assumption that it's something really missing in my career and in my life. [Yahoo]
• For those of you fluent in U.K. gossip, Jordan and Peter Andre have split up after five years of marriage. [The Sun]
• Michael Emerson says of playing Ben Linus on Lost, "It's more physical than I ever dreamt. I mean, I thought I had reached an age where I wouldn't be doing combat anymore. I was going to be one of those old codgers. The heavy lifting I would be doing dramatically would be cigarette holders and martinis. Of course, none of that's worked out and now here I am rolling around in the jungle, fighting and shooting. I feel naked on the show if I'm not covered with bruises and dried blood." [The Huffington Post]
• Before he serves a yearlong prison sentence for possession of illegal firearms, T.I. blogged on the Huffington Post, "Through this painful process of going to court and being convicted, I realized that I had to make a change." He writes, "I hope that through my mistakes, young people can begin to learn, as I did, that we have to put our guns down and start to give our guns back. It pains me inside to hear about so many of our people dying because of gun violence." E!]
• In one of Eminem's new songs he raps about Mariah Carey, saying, "Mariah whatever happened to us? Why did we ever have to break-up? ... Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin whore." Nick Cannon has responded, posting on his blog, "Man to man, let's meet up and deal with this like adults ... Miss Marshall, I'm going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife." Cannon continues, "Your legacy has now been tainted from this day forth! You will now be known as the rapper who lost to corny-ass Nick Cannon!" [People]