Trebay asked himself: "Was that Santa ornament really wearing camouflage, with a shotgun held to his torso and a dead mallard slung from his belt?" Of course he was! The ornaments may bring joy and color to the lives of shoppers, but the folks at Bronner's know that the tacky holiday crap they shill is, in fact, totally useless. "There is not a thing out there that anybody needs," Wayne Bronner, the president of Bronner’s, tells Trebay. But:

Not much on the sales floor at Bronner’s costs more than $10, [Bronner] said. "Even in times of economic turmoil, there comes a moment every fall when people look at the calendar and see that Christmas is still coming and it’s still on Dec. 25," added the company president, who that day had chosen from among his collection of novelty neckties one patterned with Christmas bulbs. "The $10 ornament that’s the perfect gift for Grandpa or Uncle Rob is not going to make or break anybody’s budget," he said.

And yet. The cold, hard truth is: You don't need this stuff. Trebay writes about the "150 different styles of nutcrackers; ornaments that said 'Merry Christmas' in 70 languages; display cases filled with ranks of sinister Hummel kiddies; 1,700 Precious Moments cherubs with woeful teardrop eyes; 500 Nativity sets from 70 nations; and Christmas balls in 6,000 styles" and it seems unjustifiably lavish. Christ himself didn't have a Christmas tree, and didn't he live in poverty? At a time of lay-offs, a weak U.S. dollar and general malaise, does spending hard-earned cash on sparkly do-dads make sense? Can a person — on a budget or with cash to burn — justify a glittery Elvis or Bigfoot ornament when the country is in financial crisis?

Excuse Me, Where’s Thanksgiving? [NY Times]

Earlier: 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
9 More Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

This item isn't technically new, but it's still worth mentioning. Nothing says "birth of Jesus Christ" like newlywed frogs, sitting in a giant engagement ring.

Aww, due to the recession, this may be the only helicopter some poor stockbroker families see this year. Sniff.

The pirate stuff is alright, but what is up with Tinker Bell's North Pole light house? Since when did that little pixie snatch up real estate in Santaland?

Here are your political ornaments: Get the donkey and the elephant for a bipartisan tree. There's someting a little "off" about the White House, but the weirdest one here has got to be the freaky-looking soldier. It's clear he's meant to honor the troops, but why is his mouth frozen in an "O" of shock and awe?

Okay, this one is just uncomfortable. Personalizing items for dead people? Really?

While we're on the subject of deceased… Fishing is a popular hobby, but something about hanging the image of a dead fish on the tree just stinks. People love to hunt, yet you don't see any deer carcasses being offered…

Although this moose does seem worried. Hopefully he won't end up in Wasilla.

Bronner's [Official Site]

Earlier: 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's