In an article titled "Top 10 Signs You're Too Good For Her," writer Jason Moore lets all the bros know when it's time to let a girlfriend go:

No.10 - You're always dumbing down conversations around her
And it's not just her — it's her entire social universe. Her friends, her family and her coworkers all seem to have an extremely limited vocabulary, one that contains more four-letter expletives than a U.S. Army boot camp. If your cat can match her wit, it's one of the signs you're too good for her.

Ok, look. Nobody is saying that you need to (or should) stay with someone who doesn't stimulate you intellectually, but being smarter than someone doesn't necessarily make you better than they are. This isn't a case of someone not being "good enough" for you; it's just a case of someone not being the right match. I'm sure there's some oh-so-lucky lady out there who can match wits and pretentiousness with you, bro. Trust.

No.9 - She f*cks like a porn star

Sure, we all have those fantasies, but if your woman is taking you into uncharted territory that has serious repercussions for personal safety, there's a good chance it's a sign you're too good for her. No limits or boundaries in the intimate sphere means serious problems with self-respect and control in general. Sure the sex will be mind-blowing, but you'll never know where she's been or even how she learned her maneuvers, which can only mean one thing…

And you know what that "one thing" is, ladies! You're a total slut! Being skilled in bed, confident in one's sexuality and enjoying mixing things up a bit obviously means that you're a big ol' whore with a self-esteem problem, and Captain 2Good4U can't handle it. You are just too good at sex, and that means you're a terrible, terrible person. It couldn't possibly mean that your dumbass boyfriend isn't good enough to keep up with you, could it? Naw, that couldn't be. Men who are good in bed are studs, and women who are good in bed are filthy tramps who aren't worth the Axe bodyspray, right brah?

No.8 - None of your friends like her

Your friends don't like her and they seem to have independently verified, double-blind proof, that she's awful. You've spent a lot of time cultivating your social circle to serve as just this type of guard when you're in completely over your head, so trust your safety net. If she can't make simple conversation with your friends, it's a sign you're too good for her.

This is somewhat legit, in that often times, when people don't get along with their partner's social circle, there are problems. But using "bros before hos" as a means to gauge whether or not someone is "good enough" for you is a fairly juvenile solution. And if you need your friends to tell you that your girlfriend is "awful," you probably need to work on your own relationship skills.

No.7 - You're always encouraging her
If, on a regular basis, you find yourself encouraging your girlfriend to go out and really experience life outside the couch or mall, you're in all likelihood too good for her. There are certain people for whom ambition or enthusiasm for the future are just plain anathema. You're not going to be her catalyst and all you're doing now is wasting valuable energy and focus that you should be spending on your own life.

Again, this is more about a mismatch than being "too good" for someone. And not for nothing, but it might be a drag to have a boyfriend who finds it such a bitch to be supportive and understanding, which may account for her general lack of enthusiasm.

No.6 - She can't pay for anything

When it comes time to pick up the check for a dinner, a movie or just about anything else the two of you are undertaking she is nowhere to be found. There are two types of women for whom this is a problem: The first is just oblivious to the fact that she should actually pitch into the relationship. The second is just without the ability and just doesn't seem to have any income. Life's too short to waste time on either of them.

Ugh, poor people, am I right? It's not that she's cheap—she's broke, bro! That is like, the worst, man. I mean, why would anyone waste their time on a genuinely good person if said person can't even afford shots at T.J. McThursdaytown? You can't be seen riding around in your pimped out Toyota Corolla, blasting the latest Asher Roth, with some broke-ass chick in the passenger seat. It's a total no-go, bro. No go fo' sho.

No.5 - She's amazed by what you take for granted

At a certain point in life, certain realities set in and some things are just taken for granted. After college, a paycheck certainly falls into this category. If your girlfriend is dumbstruck by your ability to garner income, you're staring into the abyss of someone who cannot hold a job. This may be a warning sign of future problems.

Other things that she's awestruck by include paying bills, utilities or credit cards on a monthly basis. These should all let you know you're too good for her.

Again, we go back to the idea that women are dumb, immature, and lacking basic life skills. You should kick her to the curb, bro. Because if you don't, she might end up broke, and well, we know what a buzzkill that is, right?

No.4 - She has poor hygiene

If you've noticed on numerous occasions that there is a certain unpleasant odor emanating from your betrothed, it may be time to move on. Some people are merely untidy while others endanger your health. You can try mentioning in passing that there seems to be something amiss, but by and large, you're going to be facing a recurring and uphill battle if you want her to change.

First of all, "betrothed" means that she's already your fiance. She may be stank, but you already asked her to marry you, even though you find her disgusting, so it looks like you're the one with crap manners.

No.3 - She is devoid of natural curiosity

The universe is a strange and mysterious place. Every day you come across phenomena that nearly cry out for further explanation. At least you thought so, until you met your current girlfriend. If you've been together for a while and you've never heard her mention travel or a book she has read, you're in trouble. Conversations based upon first-hand experience from your day are both powerfully limiting and dull.

Have you noticed that every "tip" seems to revolve around the fact that some women just can't keep up with this dude's intellectually superior rock and roll lifestyle? At this point I'm just concerned about him. He seems to have issues getting over the dumb, broke, poorly smelling one who got away.

No.2 - She gets into trouble with the law

There is a time when authority figures are challenged and boundaries are defined. It's called adolescence. It's when your juvenile record can be sealed and expunged. If she's still shoplifting or finding herself on the business side of a DUI conviction, that's just reckless and is endangering your future. It shows that she hasn't developed a sense of what is right or wrong, nor does she have any respect for the possessions of others.

Is it me, or is the language here really creepy? Sure, he's talking about breaking the law, but the disdain he has for women who seemingly don't "know their place" is fairly evident, and ties in with the "she's too good in bed" tip. I'm not saying that we should all start dating criminals, but the way this guy talks about women who take control or break rules, be they laws or sexual taboos, as disrespectful and wrong, is quite telling.

No.1 - Her best asset is her looks

Relationships are a growing concern. You're supposed to find other qualities that endear her to you beyond the initial physical attraction. If you haven't found anything like that and in fact have found many qualities that the good looks are covering up for, then you're too good for her. You need to move on and find someone else. If you don't, you're selling yourself short. Strike out in a new direction and find someone who is both physically attractive as well as your equal or better in the other 98% of life.

She's too pretty, which means you're way too good for her. Obviously!

While there are some decent arguments to be made here, namely that relationships need to be based on more than looks, that couples should enjoy spending time together, and that money troubles often pull couples apart, the way this writer approaches these concepts is all wrong. His sense of superiority, aside from being irritating, also shows a self-centered approach to dating (and to life, really): it seems as though no one will ever be good enough for this dude, and when women are too good at something, he feels they need to be knocked down a peg. Perhaps this dude should just come right out and say it: it's not that women aren't "good enough" for him, it's just that's he's too in love with himself to admit that anyone else has any redeeming qualities whatsoever. But don't worry, dude. You'll always have your bros. And bromance, they say, is the greatest love of all.

Top 10: Signs You're Too Good For Her [AskMen]

If You Answered Mostly As: You Are The Evil, Heartless Bitch:
Oh man, I don't know how to put this nicely, so I'm just going to come out and say it: you are a terrible person. Your heart is made of lost dreams and your soul, I'm pretty sure, is filled with the tears of innocent children. You probably hate dogs because they poop outdoors and you think the outdoors should be a poop-free zone. You exist only to show that women are horrible beings who crush the souls of men by being controlling, frigid, evil bitches. And yet some poor sap will always date you, simply to dump you later, which you totally deserve, because you are the Devil. Oh- and you probably cheated on him too. Ugh. Everyone hates you. Why are you even here? Chicks, man. Am I right?


If You Answered Mostly Bs: You Are The Damsel In Distress:
Uh-oh! You're with the wrong guy! Your fiance/boyfriend/husband is a total douchebag. You, on the other hand, are smart and beautiful and pretty much perfect. Your only flaw is that you can't see that your boyfriend is a total asshole who is cheating on you or keeping you from reaching your true potential. Lucky for you that a laid back dude with a good attitude is there to set you free! What would women do without men to save them from other men? They'd have to make important life decisions on their own. That's just crazy!


If You Answered Mostly Cs: You Are Judgmental Nag:
Like your sister-in-spirit, the Evil, Heartless Bitch, you have no time for your boyfriend's bullshit. However, you DO have a soul, as evidenced by the sweet moments you have with your partner. It's too bad he's such an immature piece of crap, right? When is he ever going to grow up and get his shit together? I mean, you used to be so cool until you got all hormonal and mature and shit. And now you expect him to stop acting like a 19 year old now that he's pushing 30! What a nag! You're a real buzzkill, lady. Everything was so fun and awesome until he got you pregnant, and now he has to deal with your shit. Total bummer! Make sure you act as shrill and bitchy as possible so that the audience sympathizes with him instead of you.


If You Answered Mostly Ds: You Are The Manic Pixie Dream Girl:
The brilliant Nathan Rabin defines you as "that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures." The Shins changed your life at one point. Your mental problems are glossed over in favor of your adorable emo-wackiness. You are a tool through which a sensitive douche finds himself. When he leaves you, you'll still have your puppet collection and the voices in your head to play with.


If You Answered Mostly Es: You Are The Sex Kitten:
You like to have sex, a lot. In a bromance, this either means you're a total freak, or a hooker with a heart of gold. There's no inbetween really, because that would imply that a woman can have multiple sex partners and still be considered a normal human being. If you talk about sex all the time, it's either because you're a nympho or you're trying to help your frigid friends come out of their shells. Women having sex! That is so weird, you guys!


If You Answered Mostly Fs: You're The Blushing Bride! You are as sweet as pie, but all you can think about is cake....wedding cake, that is! You've been dreaming about this day since you were a little girl, and you have the montage to prove it. Your only role in this story is to discuss your upcoming wedding and put pressure on your groom, who is totally freaking out! There are only two ways this is going to go for you: you'll get the wedding of your dreams, or you'll end up Miss Havisham-ing it up while your groom runs off with the Sex Kitten. Either way, you'll get to wear your dress. It just might be for a little longer than you expected, that's all.

Thanks for taking our quiz! Now get out there and make some dude happy, miserable, or confused. It's your bromantic duty, after all.

• Question 1: Where Is Your Boyfriend/Husband/Fiance Right Now?
• a. He's right here on the couch next to me, where he belongs, because true love means forcing your boyfriend to sit on the couch and take quizzes with you.
• b. He's off doing something that I'm sure is very important...to him. In the meantime I think I'll spend some purely platonic time with this stranger I just met who seems to have a great outlook on life.
• c. Who knows? Probably screwing up somewhere, because all men are stupid and they ruin everything and can't grow up or do anything right. He is so below me. Why do I even bother?
• d. I don't have a boyfriend, I just know this guy and we like to have adventures, man. Putting labels on things just takes the magic out of it. I learned that from this band we both like a lot.
• e. I just like to have a lot of sex with everyone, with no strings attached. Isn't that crazy? A sexually active woman? I know! It's like, who do I think I am, a guy or something? Crazy!
• f. Golly, I hope he's getting ready for our wedding. We're getting married! It's going to be the best day of our lives.

• Question 2: Your boyfriend/fiance/husband wants to go away with his boys for the weekend. Do you trust him?
• a. He's not going anywhere.
• b. I mean, sure. Yeah. Well...yeah. I mean. Sure. I guess. Why not. I mean...yeah. We've been together a long time, so...okay.
• c. No, but he's gonna go anyway because he's a stupid jerk who can't grow the fuck up and be a man.
• d. Of course, man. He needs to just go, you know? He needs to be and live. I'll make him a mixtape for the trip.
• e. Sure! I'll even give him the number of a few of my friends who will show him a good time. Meow! Let's talk about sex some more because it's so crazy to talk about!
• f. Well sure, because we're so in love and we're getting married. See? Here's my ring! I'm getting married!

• Question 3: It's Girls' Night Out! What Are Your Plans?
• a. I'm meeting with my book club. The current discussion is about a book called "How To Humiliate Your Man Into Complete Submission." It's good. I know because I wrote it.
• b. I'll probably just stay in, hang out with my sister, maybe walk along the beach with a charming stranger who represents everything my fiance isn't. You know, whatevs.
• c. I'll do all of the shit that my stupid boyfriend was supposed to do but didn't because he's an idiot who can't do anything right. Like I have time for girls' night out. GTFO out of here, you stupid asshole.
• d. I don't have any friends, unless you count my imaginary friend Goopbert, who lives in a tiny hole inside of my brain. He's magical and special and he only comes out when true love is in the air.
• e. Oh I have a lot of friends...a LOT of friends. If you know what I mean. I mean I like to sleep with people a lot. Sexually. Like I like to have sex. Isn't that crazy?!
• f. I'm going to have a party wherein my girlfriends will come over and we will embrace every cliche about women, ever. I will also be sure to talk about my wedding at least 900 times, in between conversations about shoes and blow jobs and Sex and the City.

• Question 4: Where Do You See Yourself In 10 Years?
• a. With a husband who no longer has the will to fight back and three beautiful, extremely well-behaved children.
• b. I mean, the plan is to marry my fiance...which is a good plan...I think. I mean, yeah. I'm sure it is. We've been together for a really long time, so...you know.
• c. Oh, I don't know, in jail, maybe, for going on a rampage? What the fuck do you care, asshole? You stupid, penis-having sack of shit asshole!
• d. I live in the moment, man. That's where the really magical things happen. It also helps to have a whiny douchebag boy around to have to save, but whatever, man.
• e. Cougar town, baby!
• f. MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Question 5: Who Is Your Role Model?
• a. The Queen of Hearts
• b. I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything anymore.
• c. Would you shut the fuck up and stop asking me questions? I have more important things to do than deal with your idiotic bullshit.
• d. Drew Barrymore. Or Goolsbert's girlfriend, Princess Starryhearts.
• e. Angelina Jolie. Everyone wants to have sex with her! And she's like, a good person, too, right? Can you believe that's possible? A woman who like, has a soul and also likes to have sex? I know! I know man! Fucking weird, right?
• f. Mother Teresa. Oh no wait, she wasn't married, was she?

Stay tuned for the results!

A group of young men compete to become one of Brody Jenner's friends. It should first be mentioned that Brody used the term "absolutely belitterated" to refer to how drunk one of the contestants was. The "bro mansion" was a frat-like house in Compton. There was one token gay guy, who chose to leave the show before the first elimination, because he was disappointed that the show wasn't like an episode of The Hills, and that Lauren Conrad was nowhere to be seen.

As for the gayness, well:
1.) Within the first few minutes of the show, security guards dragged the contestants out of bed — many of whom were naked, and not given the chance to put on clothes — to meet Brody for the first time.
2.) There is a hierarchy in place about tops and bottoms (in regards to bunk beds).
3.) Eliminations are held in a hot tub.
4.) Greeting cards were exchanged.
5.) Getting a little "alone time" with Brody is looked favorably upon.

• Jennifer Aniston admits two things about that naughty nude GQ cover: that she was drunk when they snapped the pics and that they photoshopped her already perfect funbags. [NYDN]

• On the View on Wednesday, in reference to the GQ shots Barbara Wawa asked Jen, "What happened to the girl next door from Friends?" To which Jen cheekily replied, "She's there! Photoshopped!" Gotta admit the Aniston is growing on us. [NYDN]
• Speaking of the oft-discussed GQ cover, apparently the Hudson News chain in Grand Central covered Aniston's naked form in its window display with a piece of paper. Don't want those commuters getting too titillated! [NYDN]
• Eartha Kitt died on Christmas Day at the age of 81. There will be a more thorough post honoring the singer later today. [NYT]
• Certified mother of the year Dina Lohan was spotted at 1Oak with Lindsay's little brother Michael, celebrating his 21st birthday. What would the actual Oprah say about White Oprah's behavior? [Page Six]
• More missives from the Lohan clan, Lindsay wrote the following on her MySpace blog. "My father just let my family and I know, amongst others that he had another child after my little sister Aliana, or maybe he had it before Aliana?? Either way he cheated on my mother and that really sucks. Wow—do I sound like 'Debbie Downer' or what? Not trying to be." Poor Lindsay. Then she continues on to talk of brighter things, like Britney Spears's comeback. [E! Online]
• Ugh, this is so sad. Mark Ruffalo's family had to hold his brother Scott's funeral without his body, as Scott's corpse is still part of the homicide investigation. Police are still trying to piece together why hairdresser Scott was shot to death. Blerg. [Page Six]
• Congrats, Katie Couric! The news diva's ratings went up last week, to 7.4 million. [Fall Out Boy's website. He looks like every other baby. [E! Online]
• Did Tara Reid punk out on rehab? Someone claims they have snaps of her partying in Miami two days after she released a statement about entering promises rehab center. Also fishy: the photos are from her birthday party, and were allegedly taken on December 15. Her birthday is November 8. [IDLYITW]
• Ad man cum cable personality Donny Deutsch was caught cheating with a married woman earlier this year, but in his new book, he preaches faithfulness in marriage. "I'm not giving marriage advice," Deutsch claims. "I am, however, offering advice of the heart." A classic case of do what I say, not what I do. [Page Six]