Jezebel: Broadsides

NYC Billionaire Mayor Totally Hates Babymakers

Jessica — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EST

Another woman has accused Bloomberg L.P. of discriminating against the pregnant. Monica Prestia has joined the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission's lawsuit against the financial giant. Apparently a barren supervisor was "openly hostile" to the fertile Prestia. That sort of sounds like the fertile crescent. Now I can't stop thinking about vaginas. [NY Times]
Doctors say that exercise helps people who suffer from fibromyalgia. You know, for those few minutes a day when they're not experiencing crippling pain. [Science Daily]
Most hysterectomies are still done the invasive way, by opening up the abdomen and taking out the uterus. Another, less invasive option? The uterus can be extracted through the vagina. On the upside, it leaves no scars. The downside is they're taking your uterus out through your vagina. [Reuters]

Ugh, this guy deserves the chair: a man in Tennessee is accused of shocking his two teenage daughters with electric collars used on dogs and then raping them. [ABC News]

President Moron vetoed a bill that would have provided $310.9 million in family-planning services which would have provided services for 139,000 women. I can't wait for election 2008. [Feminist Majority Foundation]

Some obese women with BMIs over 35 are being denied in-vitro fertilization because of their weight. The British Fertility Society says that IVF should only be offered to women whose BMI is 30 or under because "Obesity reduces the chances that a woman will conceive naturally and decreases the possibility that fertility treatment will be successful." [BBC News]

Kate Moss: Not-So-Super Role Model To Schoolgirls

Jessica — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EST

Is Kate Moss sending a bad message to Britain's schoolgirls? Some teachers think that England's failure to prosecute Kate for her documented cocaine use in 2005 undermined the country's anti-drug efforts. "Teenagers need to see people who have broken the law suffer the consequences,' said Pat Langham, president of the Girls' Schools Association. [Daily Mail]
Don't hate inveterate cads like P. Diddy for having a wandering eye. According to new research from Florida State University, ogling is inevitable — to a degree. [MSNBC]
Wondering whether to have kids? Do the math. Two researchers from Duke's business school created a mathematical model that helps women determine the best age to have children. It takes into consideration, career, social and family objectives. [MSNBC]
According to a new book called Mommies Who Drink, the secret to sane motherhood is frequent cocktails. My mom could have told you that 25 years ago. [Independent]

New statistics show that women are "breaking the stained glass ceiling" and starting to take more jobs as church leaders. Currently no denomination has more than a 25% female clergy. [CBS News]
Good news for UK readers: Tory leader David Cameron has vowed to increase the rape conviction rate in England, which is currently the lowest in Europe. Cameron also pledged to get more funding for rape crisis centers. [Daily Mail]
Amnesty International helped lead a protest outside the Japanese embassy in London over the women forced into sex slavery by the Japanese military in the 30s and 40s. These former so-called "comfort women" are asking for apologies and reparations from the Japanese government. [Breitbart]

Lily Allen Take Note: One In Five Britons Has Sex While Abroad

Jessica — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 16:30:00 EST

Everyone knows that the best part of vacation is sex with foreign strangers! According to a new study, 20% of young UK denizens have sex while abroad, and this may indicate "risky sexual behavior" in terms of using protection against STDs. [Science Daily]
On the heels of new mom Paula Radcliffe's NYC marathon win, people all over the internets are pondering the safety of vigorous exercise for pregnant women. [MSNBC]
The risk of cervical cancer increases for women on the pill, research shows. If you go off oral contraceptives, though, the risk is reversible in the long term.
[ABC News]
To all the Bridget Joneses out there who dream of getting hitched, be wary. A new study says, "Most people were no more satisfied with life after marriage than they were prior to marriage." [Psychology Today]

Students around the country are organizing to protest the skyrocketing cost of birth control at their university health centers. A New York City rally is planned for November 12th at 5pm in Washington Square Park. [Feminist Daily News Wire]
Now you can blame things on your grandparents' divorce, too! Children of grandparents, not just parents, who divorce, "End up with less education, more turbulent marriages and more distant relationships with their parents," says a new study from Penn State. [Psychology Today]

Breaking: We're All Gonna Die

Jessica — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 16:30:00 EST

According to a new government study, a few extra pounds won't kill you! [ABC News]
Or they will kill you! Science daily says the overweight risk dying from cardiovascular disease, and the underweight have increased mortality from a shitload of other diseases! [Science Daily]
Guess what? A TON of other things besides your weight can make you kick the bucket. If you're angry a lot, you'll probably have stroke. If you pee in the ocean, you'll get eaten by a shark. Here's a list of 48 other things you probably shouldn't do unless you want to die. [MSNBC]
Your kids could die if they eat the beads from an Australian toy called Bindeez. Ingesting the toy was found to mimic the effects of roofies! [Wall Street Journal]

Oh hey guys, that HIV vaccine we gave you? Yeah, it might make you more susceptible to the disease. Whoops! [Wall Street Journal]
Hm, you probably shouldn't go abroad either, because you might get stabbed by your roommate and/or her sketchy Italian boyfriend and/or someone else. [ABC News]
Or you might just get bedbugs. Amazingly itchy! [USA Today]
Well at least there are still adorable puppies out there, and apparently 86% of people spend more time with their puppies than they do with their children. Awww. [Pet Health Care]

Adorable Bearded Monkeys Discovered in East Africa

Jessica — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:00:25 EST

Cutest discovery evs?? A new population of these owl-looking motherfuckers called De Brazza's monkeys — thought to be near extinction — were found in Kenya. Look at that face! Don't you kind of want one? [National Geographic]
Britney, you best be letting Sean and Jayden get some shut-eye. A new study shows that lack of sleep may lead to obesity in children. [CBS News]
Addicted to drugs? Try battling your crack cravings through virtual reality. According to a Duke U. professor, "What we're trying to do is take people into a virtual crack-related neighborhood or crack-related setting and have them experience cravings, just like they would in the real world." [ABC News]

From the department of Obvious Studies: "The research is clear that divorce with conflict is unquestionably bad for the kids." [MSNBC]
Everyone deals with grief differently, says new research. "Some people suffer interminable grief, and others show no distress at all." [Psychology Today]
Cougars on the prowl can get Gardasil soon! According to the HPV vaccine manufacturer Merck, the company may soon approve Gardasil for women aged 26-45. The vaccine is currently only available for females ages 9-26. [MSNBC]

Dear Britney, We're Worried About Your Liver

Jessica — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Britney should be worried about her liver, and not just because of her coke snorting and purple drank-ing — because of her Taco Bell-laden diet. A recent study showed that mice on a high fat diet were much more susceptible to liver injury. [Science Daily]
The World Toilet Summit is currently getting "down to business" in New Delhi, but they're not talking bidets: They're working on getting third world denizens clean water and hygienic potties. [AP via MSNBC]
Note to germ fearing gym-goers — a new vaccine against super Staph Infections is looking promising. Don't fear the elliptical! [Science Daily]

Always remember to be nice to Fido because he might save your life. Toby the golden retriever and Winnie the American shorthair were named dog and cat of the year by the ASPCA for saving their masters from peril. [MSNBC]

Whoa, a new reason to take Tylenol PM. Apparently an over-the-counter sleep aid, Zolpidem, helped a British woman come out of a 6-year coma. [Daily Mail]

Attention Tinsley and other mass-produced pizza lovers! Five million frozen pizzas from the Totino's and Jeno's brands have been recalled due to possible E. coli contamination. [CBS News]

Senators Joe Biden and Richard Lugar have introduced the International Violence Against Women Act. The bill seeks to organize policies that will help end violence against women, send over $170 million each year to support new programs, and a system for dealing with victims of anti-female crime.
[Feminist Daily News]

A new study shows that a healthy diet and lifestyle may increase fertility in women with ovulatory disorders. Scientists never let us eat anything fun! [Science Daily]

Paris Stuck Between A Mouse and Her Crotch Rot

amparry — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:00:00 EDT

Big conundrum for Paris Hilton - continue to be against testing on animals or support research into curing (her) Chlamydia? Toughie. [Science Daily]
This headline makes us sad: "Stunning New Revelations on Cancer; Limit Bacon, Alcohol & Red Meat." So what are we supposed to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? [ABC News]
A man who is suspected of abducting two women from Soho and raping them in separate incidents is being sought by the cops, not to mention the Jezebel Vigilante Justice Task Force. [NY Times]
Feministing draws our attention to a new Amnesty International report which says that 600 women are raped in Kenya every day. Sickening. [Feministing]

Some doctors are shooting collagen into the vaginal walls near the G-spot to help women orgasm. No, the FDA didn't approve that memo. [First Coast News]
The stupid Pope is urging Pharmacists to refuse to dispense birth control as "conscientious objectors." Oy. [Ms.]
Singapore Airlines, which is designing those dope-sounding first class cabins with beds, doesn't want you soiling the mattresses with your love-making, okay? [MSNBC]
There are some things we're cheap about (drugstore makeup, Forever 21 ensembles, tacos) and other things we don't mind paying big money for, namely, plastic surgery. Others, it seems, fly down to South America for a bargain sale on boob jobs. [MSNBC]
Cambodia's Prime Minister is disowning his daughter and cutting her out of his will because she recently came out as a lesbian. At the same time, however, he urged others not to discriminate against gays because, "Most of them are good people and are not doing alcohol, drugs or racing vehicles." Racing vehicles? Is this some new lez hobby we don't know about? [NY Times]
Black women who have breast cancer and get the necessary treatment of tumor removal and radiation therapy still have a larger chance of the disease reappearing within 10 years of diagnosis. We reiterate: Mother Nature can be a fucking racist bitch. [Science Daily]

Men Bend It Like Their Imaginary Celebrity Girlfriends!

amparry — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 15:30:06 EDT

Workout craze pilates isn't just for rich white women like Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Aniston anymore! It's for rich, beefy white dudes too. [LA Times]
As you may know, Oprah's school for girls in South Africa is being investigated for charges of sexual and physical abuse. Oprah says she is so sorry. You're gonna have to do better than that O! You haven't booked the audience for your "Favorite Things" episode yet — right??? [NY Daily News]
Women who develop breast cancer are at no greater risk of having a more serious or lethal form of the disease if they smoke. Thank god, cause nothing would make us want a ciggie more. [MSNBC]

Super fucking creepy. A woman who supposedly found a nanny job through Craigslist was murdered when she went to meet the poster. [KCTV5.com]
The NY Times Magazine has an interesting story about adoptive parents who search for their child's birth mother. [NY Times]
Argentina elected its first lady president, the current president's wife Cristina Fernández de Kirchner. What about Evita? [NY Times]
Scientists are studying breast cancer through the translucent skin of the zebra fish to see how the disease grows. Nicole Kidman's milky complexion could probably work too. [Science Daily]
Inter-sex females (i.e. hermaphrodites) do not, in most cases, absolutely need vaginal reconstruction - in most cases these women have shallow vaginas and testes that have not descended. Opting for surgery should be a choice, not necessity. [Science Daily]
UK researchers have made a breakthrough in how infections cause infertility in cows would could lead to major conclusion in how to prevent infertility in women. [Science Daily]

Britney's Not Crazy. She's Just On Deadline.

amparry — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 16:10:34 EDT

A new study says that women are more stressed than men. We really don't have time to be reading and writing about studies like this because we totally have a big Powerpoint presentation to get and we are, like, about to pull our hair okay? Gawd! [Feminist.org]
Dressing like a hooker for Halloween isn't just for adult women like us - now your kids can get in on the action. Feministing points out a costume website where there's a "Major Flirt" costume (filed under the "Occupation" category) for little girl. It's never too early to be a cock tease! [Feministing]
Breast cancer survivors are among a huge percentage of women who start their own business, most of which are focused on helping fellow patients in need. [NY Times]

Marie Curie's daughter, journalist Eve Curie Labouisse, has died at the age of 102. [NY Times]
There's some controversy surrounding Oprah's recent show where she revealed she has hyperthyroidism. Apparently the expert she had on the show to discuss the condition offered up a bunch of wellness suggestions but never actually told women who thought they might have it to go see, you know, a doctor. Whatever. Why go see a shrink when you can just watch Dr. Phil? [Salon]
Double suck. Your obesity risk increases after menopause. [Science Daily]
All-girls boarding schools are on the decline in the UK, but administrators and students are still gung ho for single sex education. Lesbians! Kidding. Sorta. [The Independent]

Short Men More Likely To, Uh, Cruise For Little Boys

amparry — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

Short men are more likely to be pedophiles, according to a new Canadian study. Maybe they're just looking for someone their own size? Kidding. [NEWS.com.au]
At least there's one Supreme Court Justice who will stand up for the rights of women. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has cautioned that if Roe v. Wade is overturned, such a decision "would have a devastating impact on poor women." [Feministing]
This is kind of awesome. A radiology facility in Orlando is hosting mammogram soirees in order to encourage women to get their breasts checked. [CBS News]
According to the UN secretary general, violence against women in post-conflict nations has reached "pandemic proportions." This is no surprise to anyone who read about those absurdly gruesome rapes in the Congo. [International Herald Tribune]

The WE network (aka the poor man's Lifetime) and BridesDecide.com are using their brands to get women educated about the election. That's nice, but can't they focus on getting Tori Spelling back in the mini-series business? [NY Times]
More women are electing to get double mastectomies, even when cancer is just in one breast. Lumpectomies are still the most prevalent treatment for cancerous tumors, but double mastectomies have increased by 150%. [USA Today]
Women who put on a lot of weight during adulthood are at an increased risk of developing breast cancer because estrogen hides out in the excess fat and encourages tumor growth. Sneaky bastards! [MSNBC]
A man was found guilty and sentenced to five years in prison for digitally raping a woman in Australia. We thought this story had to do with computers, like the guy raped her in a chat room or something, but apparently "digital rape" means he fondled her while she was asleep on a train. [NEWS.com.au]
Lord Steel (sweet name), the British politician who campaigned for the UK's 1967 Abortion Act, says that there are too many abortions nowadays and women are, in some cases, using abortion as a form of birth control. [Guardian UK]

Cameron "Crater Face" Diaz Feels Our Pimple Pain

amparry — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Something Cameron Diaz and that goiter on our forehead parading as a pimple have known forever: Women are more likely than men to suffer from adult acne. [Science Daily]
A woman whose canoe capsized survived 19 hours at sea, clinging to her bag in the choppy water, until rescuers spotted her off the coast of Maui. Badass. [LA Times]
More confusing cancer studies! Apparently sun exposure may decrease the risk of advanced breast cancer by half. [Science Daily]

A couple's broken engagement is taking them to court as they fight over custody of the ring. The Emily Post Institute chimes in that a woman must always return the ring unless it's an heirloom in her family. We disagree. If he cheats or he calls off the wedding, the ring is yours to sell on eBay! [Reuters]
Australian Olympic-medal winner Nova Peris is producing the first "mainstream, all-indigenous" swimsuit calendar featuring Aboriginal women. Progress, perhaps, but do representations of diverse beauty so often have to feature women in skimpy bikinis? [Sydney Morning Herald]

One Baby's Barley Water Is Another Baby's Breast Milk

amparry — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Yay, heart-warming story! The International Breast Milk Project ships breast milk, or liquid gold, to Africa, where nine-thousand bottles is enough to feed six babies for a year. Being that lil' Suri Cruise was weaned on a Hubbard-approved cocktail of barley water and corn syrup, we sure hope Katie didn't let her milk dry up and go to waste. [ABC News]
Capitol Hill finally takes notice that postpartum depression is more than just a few tears; Congress has authorized $3 million in federal funds for research. Brooke Shields, Britney Spears, and Andrea Yates all respond, "No shit!" and "That's it?!" [ABC News]
A woman dug up and stole her dead boyfriend's ashes after his family banned her from the funeral. Aww, that's kind of sweet! [CNN]

Kim Cunningham admits to killing her brother-in-law when she found out he had repeatedly raped her 9-year old daughter. She was acquitted of murder by two juries and though some say the ruling is condoning vigilante justice, we say, "You know what? Fuck that, good for her. Where's the parade?" [ABC News]
A burqa-wearing bandit robbed a bank in North Carolina, leaving the police scratching their heads as to whether the perp was a man or a woman. Umm, we see some pretty groomed brows in the photo so our vote is a woman... or gay drag queen. [ABC News]
Breast cancer patients find that friends, family, and even strangers offer loads of unsolicited advice and wisdom in an effort to be supportive, most of which is totally crappy. "Pshaw, chemo is no big deal!" is not the best way to tell someone you're there for them, okay? [MSNBC]
Shocker. State by state, the US sucks at caring for women's health, with Vermont being the best and Mississippi being the worst. As for who else failed miserably? Washington D.C., home of our nation's capital. Betcha the First Lady gets the best Pap smear in district! [MSNBC]
Heavy sigh. A top political strategist estimates that Republican women will, in the end, vote for Hilary Clinton because they want a female president. We're not sure if that's true, we'd take Clinton over any Republican any day of the week, but why is that people don't understand voting for any woman is not a feminist statement? [AP]

This Woman Would Like To Take Your Birth-Control And Shove It

amparry — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Bush does it again: The forty-turd president has appointed birth-control opponent Susan Orr — who thinks contraceptives encourage our "culture of death" — to head the family planning branch of the Department of Health and Human Services. [Washington Post]
Novelist Anne Enright beat out favorites like Ian McEwan for the prestigious Booker Prize. Bonus! We're pretty sure if a film adaptation is done of The Gathering, body-dysmorphic Keira Knightley will not be starring. [Guardian]
Scientists are developing a hormone-free contraceptive that actually changes the genetic make-up of a woman's eggs, making it impossible for them to be fertilized by sperm. Hey, we have an idea for scientists: Fuck with the sperm for once, not the eggs! [Guardian]

Getting acupuncture negatively impacts the chances of conceiving via IVF, according to a new study. Bright side for holistic health nuts craving babies? That weird suction-cup treatment Gwyneth Paltrow got in the late 90's clearly does not! [Guardian]
Breast cancer treatment for the uninsured is an impossible cost, but even those with insurance get stuck with massive bills. Seriously, is there anyone more evil than health insurance "providers"? [ABCNews]
Hmm. Men who having trouble knocking up their partners because the quality of their sperm sucks can improve their little guys potency by having sex everyday. Question for the mommies: If you're trying to get pregnant, don't you and the man have sex everyday anyway? [Times Online]
Scientists have developed a hypersensitive method of detecting HPV and other DNA viruses in their early stages. However, an increase in false positives also comes with the territory. [Science Daily]

Which Wide-Eyed Simpson Looks Brighter?

amparry — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

A new study suggests that birth order does matter and that older sibs typically have a higher IQ than younger ones. This study was done on men, however. Hopefully when a similar study is done on women, the Simpson sisters won't be included and skew the results. [CNN]
No shit! Women with bad PMS don't sleep well — this article is filled with a lot of medical mumbo-jumbo, but let's face it, toe-numbing cramps would keep even a narcoleptic wide awake. [Science Daily]
Do women need their own Home Depot, called Her Depot? Does a fish need a bicycle? [Feministing]
Women are still loath to call themselves feminists. But could the fourth-wave be gaining traction online? [Newsweek]

Women who get vag nips and tucks to improve their sex lives disturb us. A gigantically exposed clit still is useless if your man can't find it! [MSNBC]
Women are dying in childbirth at the same rate as they were in 1990, mostly in developing Third World countries. {MSNBC]
Cancer treatments that save many a breast cancer patient's life may also cause heart disease. [Science Daily]
Seed therapy, where a small pellet-sized implant is inserted into a suspicious mass, helps doctors pinpoint the location of tumors more exactly, resulting in more precise removals of breast cancer-causing tumors. [Science Daily]

The current time limit for performing an abortion in the UK is 24 weeks into a pregnancy. A recent study has shown that a substantial number of infants can survive after a 24 week gestation. Pro-life advocates are using this new data to try to lower the limit to 20 weeks. [Telegraph]

Mr. Winehouse Woulda Said, "No, No, No."

amparry — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 16:00:00 EDT

Apparently, many men are still following that archaic, women-as-property tradition of asking their future-father-in-laws for "permission' to marry their girlfriends. Something tells us Amy Winehouse's partner-in-crack-addiction, Blake Fielder-Civil, did not. [Salon]
Researchers have discovered that a low-fat diet cuts your risk of developing ovarian cancer. Unfortunately the benefits only start to kick in after four years of depriving yourself of all the delicious things in life. [MSNBC]
Antidepressants cool hot flashes? Awesome. That means we have an excuse to take happy drugs 4Eva! [NY Times]

Give your grandma a hug! Experts say that post-menopausal women across the world actually do much of the work in society and in some cases, anthropologists find that 60-year old women are just as physically-strong as 20-year olds. [Salon]
More women are blasting off into outer space than ever before. You know what must suck? Taking off that huge spacesuit in order to change your tampon. [CBS News]
CBS' Early Show did a segment on how families can afford to have a stay-at-home parent, since 70 percent of those polled thought it was the best lifestyle for couples with kids. Of course, the show focused on mom staying home. Ugh. [CBS News]
A French woman was overwhelmed with emotion upon seeing a $2 million painting and planted a big wet one on the canvas, leaving a lipstick mark. She said the red smooch made the painting better. Ha-ha, that bitch is crazy but sort of awesome! [Reuters]

Is It Awful To Hope That Jennifer Lopez Is Expecting A Boy?

amparry — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:00:00 EDT

Daughters born to women with "wide, round hips" are more vulnerable to breast cancer? Jesus. Researchers hypothesize that "wide round hips reflect high levels of sex hormone production at puberty, which persist after puberty and adversely affect breast development of the daughters in early gestation." [Science Daily]
Lousy relationship? It could kill you, according to a study released today in the Archives of Internal Medicine, which reports that couples with bad marriages were more likely to suffer from heart disease. The "good" news? Women and men are — for once — equally at risk. [MSNBC]
Southwest Airlines forced yet another passenger to change clothes because an outfit was deemed offensive. But this time the offensive passenger was a dude! [CNN]

More breast cancer news! Time Magazine takes a look at the variety of breast cancer treatments and surgeries, while ABC News spotlights an army of women currently fighting the disease who have offered up their own bodies for research in hopes of finding a cure. [Time, ABC News]
Honor killings of unmarried pregnant Kurdish women run rampant in Iraq. CBS News has the story of an 18-year old woman who tried to commit suicide twice after becoming pregnant out of wedlock because of the "shame" she brought to her family. [CBS News]
Thank god for this dissection of the contradicting studies which say that drinking alcohol will either kill you or help you live forever. We know which one we'll choose to listen to! [SFGate]

J. Lo Should Have Her Baby Shower At Red Lobster

amparry — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 15:00:08 EDT

Contrary to what will undoubtedly be tomorrow's breaking health news report, pregnant women should eat fish, despite the mercury risk. [CBSNews]
Police in the UK have turned their attention away from the city pubs where sex slaves are sold on the down low and are now focusing their efforts on suburbia. And people say us city folk are lacking in values... [The Independent]
Talk about a major fuck up. A woman who was told she had breast cancer after a biopsy and then had a double mastectomy found out after the fact that her slide got mixed up with someone else's and she never had cancer to begin with. [ABC News]
While the HPV-strain that causes cervical cancer is only a minor annoyance for men, a leading specialist says that they should still get the HPV-vaccine to help stop the spread of the virus. C'mon guys, they'll give you a lollipop! [Daily Mail]

The Hummer is headed Down Under and a significant portion of its prospected buyers are women. What the fuck ladies? Just because your country already has a hole in the ozone layer directly above does not mean you should turn your SPF-50'd back on Mother Nature! [News.com.au]
A new study says that obese women who become pregnant could actually lose a little weight instead of gaining — doing so helps lessen the likelihood of pregnancy related high-blood pressure or having to have a Caesarean. [MSNBC]
Women are starting businesses at twice the rate of men, but those businesses are also doing, um, quite poorly. Whatever, we sold two dozen of our rhinestoned tampon holders last Christmas, and our mom said that was just awesome. [NY Times]
The work of female filmmakers in Tunisia may not get many props at home, where women are expected to be in the kitchen and not the editing room, but they're getting loads of acclaim in European and American art houses. Slumber Party Double Feature: Can't Buy Me Love and Bedouin Hacker! We'll bring the popcorn. [Christian Science Monitor]
Ugh. A 2003 Veterans Administration health care system survey reported that 28 percent of female soldiers experienced at least one sexual assault during military service which, combined with combat trauma, makes them more likely to suffer from PTSD. [NPR]
On a somewhat related note, more women are entering West Point than ever. Don't say we didn't warn you. [ABC News]
Scientists have made their first significant genetic discovery for why certain women suffer from severe PMS, otherwise known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Whatever, just get us a fucking cure already, you lazy bastards. Jesus! Fuck!!! [Science Daily]

Panic-Stricken Kim Basinger's Maybe Not-So-Healthy Heart

amparry — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

A recent study suggests that women who suffer from panic/anxiety attacks [That would be me! -Ed.] have a higher chance of suffering a heart attack or stroke later in life. [USA Today]
Can consensual sex become rape midway during the act? A Maryland court is trying to determine that in the case of a 18-year old woman who allowed a 16-year old boy to have sex with her so long as he stopped when she told him to. She claims she told him to stop and he continued for 5 to 10 more seconds. We know what Cosmo would say! [Baltimore Sun]
Salon's Rebecca Traister reviews Susan Faludi's new book and contrasts it with Springsteen's new album. Just go read it. It's that good. [Salon]

Did you hear? There's no better way to thank a baby momma for delivering that little bundle of taint-tearing joy than a "push present" in the form of a hideous charm bracelet. [MSNBC]
Researchers claim that romantic partners copy one another's health habits, from quitting smoking to increasing exercise. Until our boyfriend flushes his pack of Parliament Lights down the toilet and does a downward dog, we call bullshit. [Live Science]
A woman gave birth to two babies on the same day, but they aren't twins. Seems that she got pregnant twice over the course of two weeks. Mother Nature, you fucking creep us out. [Babble]
Hooray, the Aurora, IL Planned Parenthood finally opened! [MSNBC]
Women are more likely to suffer concussions than men playing the same sports, mainly because the way girls "play" is different. Also, helmets fuck up our hair. [ABC News]
A bunch of breast cancer survivors strutted down the runway for a UK fashion show drawing attention to the disease and the search for a cure. Fierce! [Daily Mail]
According to a recent poll, women are more afraid of getting Alzheimer's than cancer — umm, maybe because every study contradicts the next and it seems like there's nothing you can do about getting breast cancer... wait, sorry, what we're we saying? [Science Daily]

If They Don't Wear Condoms, Who Says They're Gonna Pop Pills?

amparry — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

Sure, a birth control pill for guys may be on its way, but after watching Knocked Up again this weekend we would never actually trust the dipshit to take it. [MSNBC]
Being stressed about work increases a woman's chance of developing breast cancer, say researchers. Yeah, so does being alive. Happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month! [Fox News]
A British woman is in recovery after a car accident forced her belly stud to shoot through her "like a bullet" almost into her spine. You know, we always thought eyebrow piercings were the trashiest of all body punctures, but at least they won't kill you. [Times Online]

The Chinese government has banned all bra, figure-enhancement underwear, and sex toy ads from TV and radio in effort to rid the country of "social pollution". Additionally, mass audience voting for American Idol-esque shows via text message or the internet is also forbidden. Gotta stop democracy before it spreads! [Breitbart]
Slate wonders why women in the media and the feminist movement have been relatively silent about the case of the Harvard student who was granted time during her nine-hour exam to pump her breast milk. [Slate]
Nanny, nanny, boo, boo. The Supreme Court upheld a New York State law which forces religious-based social service organizations to subsidize women's health services, including contraception, mammograms, and cervical cancer exams. [Breitbart]
Women can be sexy chess nerds too. [Christian Science Monitor]

Every Little Girl Dreams Of Dressing Like Paris Hilton

amparry — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Shopping.com took a poll and the most popular pop-culture costume idea was a Jail-Bird Paris Hilton. Seriously, if a trick or treater comes to our door in an orange jumpsuit and a blond wig holding a ham and cheese sandwich, they will get all our candy. [SeattlePI.com]
Score one for reproductive-rights advocates in Connecticut: The state's Catholic Hospitals have agreed to dispense emergency contraception to rape victims, reversing their previous position. Too bad they only gave in because a new law was going to require it within a matter of days. [ABC News]
Anorexia nervosa news: Researchers in San Diego have discovered that anorexics taste food differently than the average person, while a professor of psychiatry in London thinks the disease can be passed down from mother to daughter. [Science Daily, Daily Mail]

Remember the Harvard Medical student who wanted to be able to take a break during her licensing exam to pump her breast milk and a bunch of doctors told her she couldn't? An appeals court decided that she can. [Boston.com]
A pregnant woman, who was employed at a plastic surgery office, claims she was fired because she wouldn't "suck in" her pregnant belly. Her bosses feared her big stomach would turn off patients who came in to improve their own appearances. Yeah suck that baby in, fatty, make it hide behind your kidney or something. And these people are technically doctors?! [ThePittsburgChannel.com]
Dear Boyfriend: The smoking you insist on doing even though you keep swearing your going to quit? it's going to make your boner flaccid. Yeah. Sure, we'll pick up the patch on the way home. [NEWS.com.au]

Audrina Balks Trend, Hearts J.B.'s Belching

amparry — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 17:30:00 EDT

When it comes to choosing Mr. Right, women are more interested in a guy with good manners than good looks. Whatever, we like a hottie who can burp the alphabet. Can we get a 'true dat', Audrina? [Daily Express]
Ninety-five percent of women have "issues" with their period. For women with more than the average "Ugh, you mean I have to run out and spend $6 on tampons again?" annoyance with their cycle — like severe cramps, diarrhea, and suicidal-PMS — CNN offers up the latest treatment methods. [CNN]
The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence wants water births to be an option for all expectant mothers since they are the safest form of pain-relief during labor. Sidebar! Is birthing a baby in a pool just as funny as farting in a hot tub? Doubt it. [The Independent]

An increasing number of Asian women are committing suicide in the London neighborhood of Southall by jumping onto train tracks. A women's organization attributes the rise in suicide to domestic violence within the community. [Times of London]
Two Saudi women told the religious police to talk to the hand when the officers said they were inappropriately-dressed. Of course they were arrested (because that's what happens in Saudi Arabia when women dare to talk back). We hope they threw in two snaps and a circle, for good measure. [BoingBoing]
Feministing cuts America's Next Top Racist a break, which is nice of them. We still think Adrienne Curry is a useless, bigoted fucktard, though. [Feministing]
We can't believe this is even up for debate, but the US Court of Appeals is currently hearing testimony as to whether the state of Missouri can deny incarcerated women the right to timely and safe abortions. Bitch robbed a bank, let's punish her with an unwanted baby. [Ms.]
The Acting Surgeon General appointed by President Bush is a hard-core emergency contraception opponent. Big fucking shocker. [Ms.]
Pervy Polygamist Warren Jeffs was convicted as an accomplice to rape. Guess we know what's going to happen on Big Love next season! [NY Times]
A long-term study has found that women who take the breast cancer drug Herceptin triple their chances of survival. Hmm, what are the chances our shitty health care insurance companies cover this wonder drug? [Daily Mail]
Researchers have discovered 350 genes linked to female fertility which may help them figure out the mysteries of infertility. Biggest head-scratcher: Why is it that so many women who really want babies have a hard time (like Nicole Kidman!) but women who are completely devoid of a natural inclination to parent (like Brit) turn 'em out like flapjacks? [Science Daily]

Shrinking Violets Have Shrinking Life-Spans

amparry — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:30:00 EDT

A new study indicates that women who keep quiet during marital disputes have an increased risk of dying from heart disease compared to women who speak their minds. Oh Katie, you're so doomed. [LA Times]
Thinking about getting pregnant? Want a baby girl? Get stressed. Want a baby boy? Get fat. [DailyMail, ScienceDaily]
Nearly 96% of all women and girls in Egypt are subjected to some form genital mutilation. Though the country's Health Ministry outlawed the practice over a decade ago, they created a massive loophole for "emergencies". [NY Times]
Cervarix, HPV vaccine alternative to Gardasil, has been approved for sale across the European Union. Hopefully the US will be next, as Cervarix is available for women above the age of 27, unlike Gardasil. [Wall Street Journal]

We didn't realize stuffing ourselves with burgers, beer, and mac 'n' cheese on the weekends and then fasting during the work week had a name but apparently "Alternate-Day Fasting" is a major diet trend. [Science Daily]
We knew it — Britney sucks as a mom because she lacks the super important Mommy Gene. Too bad she also lacks the "Smart Enough to Wear a Condom" gene too. [Science Daily]
So, if you don't drink much milk, your chances of getting osteoporosis (i.e. brittle bones) greatly increases. However, if you're not a milk drinker, you're probably also a bit of a fatty, which also protects you against bone loss? [Reuters]

'Boys Don't Cry' Back In The Spotlight

amparry — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 14:30:00 EDT

The man convicted of killing Brandon Teena has recanted part of his confession and is now claiming he was the lone murderer. (Teena's story was the inspiration behind the 1999 film Boys Don't Cry, for which Hilary Swank won the Best Actress Oscar.) One thing kinda irks us about this news story: CNN insists on using his birth name "Teena Brandon" even though he lived and died as Brandon Teena. [CNN]
That Planned Parenthood in Aurora, IL that was at risk of never opening because of some silly regulation violations? Well, a judge has ruled that the clinic will remain closed. As PP said after the ruling, "We wouldn't be here if this was a foot-care clinic." [Feministing]

New York State has given the heave-ho to the abstinence-only education-funding the Bush Administration will not stop ramming down our throats. [NY Times]
A judge in Kansas rejected State Attorney General Phil Kline's mission to require health care workers and counselors to report all underage sexual activity, including kissing. Seriously, dude, just read Penthouse Letters to get your rocks off, okay? [Ms. Magazine]
Isn't the BBC supposed to be of higher quality than the junk we watch on American TV? The news network has decreed that only good-looking women will be reading the bite-sized news bits aimed at their younger audience. [Daily Mail]
Donald Trump has hired Miss Teen South Carolina to model for Trump Model Management at a rate of $25,000 a day. Because everyone knows that there's nothing prettier than an empty brain cavity. [WorldNetDaily]

Size Zeros: Too Hungry, Fragile To Hump?

amparry — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Pro-ana's take note — striving to be a size zero is not only crappy for your health, but also for your sex drive. New research indicates that super-skinny women have lower libidos, not to mention fear of breaking bones during the act itself. [Daily Mail]
When does being shy about eating in public evolve into a full-blown eating disorder? Some girls suffering from anorexia say that their eating disorder initially started with a discomfort with eating in front of other people. Interesting. We're way more cruel and judgey towards women who have water with lemon for lunch. [USA Today]
An increasing number of women are getting surgery and laser treatments post-pregnancy to get their bodies back, with 67% of women polled saying they're rather get back their pre-baby body than their pre-baby sex life. Well duh, that's because they know the pre-baby sex was what got them all stretch-marky in the first place! [MSNBC]

An Aussie mom who got in-vitro and wound up with two babies instead of one is suing the doctor that implanted two embryos in her womb instead of the one she requested. She's suing for $332,000 — the cost of raising a child to age 21 — saying she and her husband even considered putting one child up for adoption because of the extra cost. We can see the fights now — "Mommy, I'm the one you wanted to give away aren't I? Aren't I?!" [MSNBC]
At least 10% of girls in England have been infected with HPV by the age of 16. Government health advisors have recommended that the HPV vaccine be given to pre-pubescent girls in order to fight the infection which can lead to cervical cancer. [Daily Telegraph]
School district officials in Toronto have got the same idea, wanting to administer the vaccine to all Grade 8 girls, but the Catholics are all up in arms, saying that doing so would encourage sexual activity amongst teens. Seriously, odds are even Mother Theresa had HPV — the Catholic Church needs to get their head out of their sanctimonious ass. [CTV.ca]
Some outraged students are saying that Astria Suparak, Art Director for a gallery at Syracuse University, was fired from her position because of controversy surrounding the feminist installation "COME ON: Desire Under the Female Gaze". Apparently the original title included the word "feminist", which Suparak's superiors demanded she change. Since when is feminist a dirty word? [The Daily Orange]
Did you know that it's a crime to not water and mow your lawn? Yeah neither did 70-year old Betty Perry who's being charged with resisting arrest and not maintaining her landscaping. In a scuffle with police, granny fell and bloodied her nose and by the way, all of this took place in Utah, where real criminals, like child raping polygamists, hang out. Ugh. [CNN]
Remember when your ex-boyfriend insisted that he had to use Magnums because regular condoms "just don't fit right"? Well, turns out maybe he wasn't lying — condoms are not "one size fits all". [Science Daily]
Breast cancer patients who undergo chemotherapy find that their bones age prematurely as a result of the treatment. Sigh. Why couldn't today be a good news for people with breast cancer day? [Reuters]
A Wisconsin bill which gives rape victims access to emergency contraception actually includes an amendment that would allow medical personnel to refuse to administer it if it "offends" their religious beliefs. What's next? Catholic doctors can refuse to treat Jewish gunshot patients because they don't believe Jesus was the messiah? [The Capital Times]
A 70-year old Muslim woman is being sentenced today for her role in the "honor killing" of her son's wife — she and her son orchestrated her daughter-in-law's death after they discovered she was cheating on and planning to leave her husband. We love Sally Field, but this kind of refutes her theory. [Daily Mail]

Age Is But A Number For Cougars And Their Prey

amparry — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Older women, younger men, can it work? CNN investigates the truly tired topic of $500K-worth-of-plastic-surgery-cougars and the men who love them. [CNN]
You know how when you have serious itching "down there" you assume it's a case of the crotch monkey's and start medicating yourself with Monistat? Apparently, most women who assume they have a yeast infection are, in fact, wrong and administering meds like Monistat only encourages yeast infections to fester in the future. Guh-reat. [Science Daily]
Medical research shows that breast milk is far more nutritional than manufactured formulas. Remember that, Bill Maher, the next time you tell Maggie Gyllenhaal to put away her titties at Da Silvano. [Science Daily]
P.S. Maggie check out the latest nursing top that's guaranteed to get little Ramona into Mensa! [Science Daily]

You know those detox diets where you drink some bizarrely colored drink for five days and poo your brains out? Yeah, well, some of them are great for you and some of them aren't, so do your research before you spend a week on the toilet trying to lose five pounds. [CNN]
Eight hundred anti-choice protesters picketed a soon-to-open Planned Parenthood in Aurora, Illinois this weekend. Another protest, this one a "Men's Vigil", is scheduled for tomorrow night. Ugh, fucktards. [Chicago Tribune]
An 18-year-old man who stabbed a 16-year-old girl may claim that the acne drug Accutane drove him to it. If acne drugs made you homicidal, we would have hurt a whole lot of people between the ages of 14 and 21. [The Pittsburgh Channel]
One woman was raped and three were sexually assaulted in their homes near the University of Maryland in College Park. Police think these assaults may be related to a series of Peeping Tom incidents earlier in the year, and believe that the culprit may be a student since the incidents stopped during the summer when school was not in session. [WBALtv.com]
Eva Crane, who abandoned a career in nuclear physics to pursue her passion for bees, has died at the age of 95. [NY Times]
The NY Times has a fascinating story about a 33-year old woman who discovered she has an extremely high risk of getting breast cancer and decided to get a preventative mastectomy. [NY Times]
When it comes to getting a note from your doctor to take sick leave, male doctors are more likely to give the go ahead to male patients than female doctors are to okay sick leave for female patients. [Science Daily]
One-fifth of male bosses in the UK won't give women of "child bearing age" a job. Coincidentally, 100% of women in the UK wouldn't give those men a blow job if their lives depended on it! [Guardian UK]
Clinical evidence proves that exercise can help fight depression. So can a bottle of pills, which is our preferred route. [LA Times]

Will Britney Grovel for America's Forgiveness? Should She?

amparry — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:00:00 EDT

Rumors are flying that Britney Spears might appear on Sunday's Emmy Awards to apologize for her performance at the VMAs. WTF? What does she have to apologize for? She gave a shitty performance, she didn't go on a racist tirade or run over a crowd of schoolchildren. Britney, babe, don't let those assholes convince you to humiliate yourself even more for their ratings pleasure. Go home, take a shower, and play with your kids. [US Weekly]
A 16-year old buy trailed a group of girl runners from his high school and yelled, "Keep going, or I'll rape you." The girls showed the little fucker they weren't scared and took down his license plate number and called the cops. Take that, punk. [NBC5.com]
Holy crap, Beth Ditto from The Gossip writes an advice column? Awesome! [Guardian UK]
Teen girls who diet are more likely to become smokers. Well, duh. If there's anything Kate Moss ever taught us it's that smoking fights hunger pangs and looks super sexy. [Reuters]

After our 72-year old grandpa had triple bypass surgery, the first thing he asked the doctor when he awoke was when he could "have relations" with his wife again. That's why the news that seniors are still into humping came as no surprise to us. [USA Today]
African pop star Angelique Kidjo has launched a campaign in her native country of Benin to encourage girls to get an education. [Reuters]
Is today Paris Hilton's birthday? Scientists are close to developing a vaccine for chlamydia. [ScienceDaily.com]
Two badass female NASA commanders will make history next month as they become the first pair of women to lead their orbital missions at the same time. Punky Brewster would be so proud. [MSNBC]
MSNBC calls out Myriad, a company which is marketing their breast and ovarian cancer tests in TV commercials, for using scare tactics to increase their stock price, alleging that these ads make more business sense for Myriad than for public health or for educating women. [MSNBC]
The debate over how to teach sex education in India rages on. Bizarrely, the situation there is really no different than the sex education vs. abstinence debate in the US — except that we're a freaking first world country and should be beyond this shit. [Economist]
Eighty-nine year old Sylvia Levin is awesome — for the last 34 years she's spent six days a week getting people to register to vote, for free. Government experts think the 46,700 voters that Levin has registered are a national record. Think how many scarves she could have knitted instead. [LA Times]

Southwest Airlines Has Beef With Double-D's

amparry — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Wow, "Keith" must be working some serious overtime! Southwest Airlines gave another woman hell for wearing "revealing" clothing, just a week after a woman was nearly booted off a flight for wearing a mini-skirt. Setara Qassim was forced to wear a blanket by a flight attendant because she thought Setara's top was too low cut. Dude, is it just us, or does Southwest seriously have a problem with girls with ample breasts? [NBC6.net]
Eating right, staying active, and watching your weight during pregnancy furthers the chances that your unborn baby will grow into a healthy adult. Memo to Nicole Richie: Eating right, staying active, and watching your weight ups your chances of being a healthy adult too! [Newsweek]
A Top Chef contestant and a small group of her friends were beaten outside of Long Island bar in what appears to be a hate-crime. Josie Smith-Malave, who is gay, says she hopes the perpetrators will be caught and prosecuted on felony hate-crime charges. [Local6.com]

"Is football too dangerous?" asks Time Magazine. If we say yes, will our boyfriend stop dominating the television Saturday through Monday for four months out of the fucking year? [Time Magazine]
Seventy-five percent of moms have major nightmares about something horrible happening to their children. See, women carry the bulk of the parenting load, even in their dreams! [MSNBC]
Children who are exposed to high levels of testosterone in the womb may see symptoms of autism later in life, further evidence that links the male hormone to the disorder. [MSNBC.com]
Further proof that humans are descended from monkeys: female chimps love bad boys just as much as women do. [MSNBC.com]
It's the 40th Anniversary of the Abortion Act in the UK, but there's a bit of a debate raging as to how late in a pregnancy a woman can terminate. The Daily Mail has an interesting panel of women who've had abortions weighing in on the discussion. [Daily Mail]
An 80-year old Iowa woman had "Do Not Resuscitate" tattooed on her body, but doctors are still keeping her on life support because they say the tattoo is not enough proof of her wishes. Do they think "Do Not Resuscitate" is the name of a heavy metal band or something? [Crooks And Liars]
A woman who is the victim of an alleged rape has sued the judge in the case because he has barred the use of the words rape, victim, and assailant from the courtroom during the trial. The woman was barred from using the words during her testimony, which lasted 13 hours, a clear violation of her first amendment rights. [Law.com]
A lawsuit against the University of Colorado was reinstated after being dismissed in 2005. The original case stemmed from the gang rape of two women in 2001 by the school's football players and recruits. The suit alleges that CU officials failed to respond adequately to a long history of sexual harassment and assault by school football players and were therefore liable for the environment that allowed the rapes to occur. [Ms.]
A Vitamin-D deficiency during pregnancy increases the risk of getting pre-eclampsia, the leading cause of premature birth. Trista Sutter — you know, the OG Bachelorette — talks about her personal experience in this week's US Weekly! [Science Daily]

Pregnant And Smoking? You're Probably Depressed... Or Famous

amparry — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Catherine Zeta Jones is not alone! More than one in ten pregnant women smoke, reports the AP (via MSNBC), and research suggests that many of those women suffer from depression, making quitting even more difficult. A Columbia University epidemiologist, tracked more than 1,500 pregnant women, and "22 percent smoked at some point during pregnancy" with about 12 percent classified as nicotine-dependent. [MSNBC]
A bunch of spunky girl soccer stars urinated on the opposing team's synthetic soccer field. "I think it's unclassy," sniffed a rival. We think it smells like chicken soup! [Boston Herald]
A 5-foot tall woman was cleared of charges that she raped a 6-foot tall man, after he accused her of spiking his drink with roofies. We know she's innocent and all, but that giraffe print sweater is criminal. [Daily Mail]
Cuesta Benberry, a quilt historian an archivist who helped bring attention to the contributions of African-American woman to the craft, has died at the age of 83. No word yet if Anthropologie sends their regrets. [NY Times]

Two women and a man are charged with smuggling over 20 women and girls from Togo in West Africa and forcing them to work at hair-braiding salons in New Jersey. Oh shit, we had cornrows five years ago. [International Herald Tribune]
A controversial British Muslim playwright has turned the story of her mother's brutal honor killing into a play, which she hopes to also adapt into a feature film. In other news, we saw Grease this weekend and it was OMG Awesome! [Daily Mail]
Hilarious Molly Ivins, who died in January and was totally one of our heroes, is being honored in an NYC Memorial Service tomorrow. We're sure Shrub will be there in spirit. [NY Times]
A Harvard Medical student is fighting for the right to have additional time to pump her breast milk during the nine hour test she must take to get her degree. Are the examiners worried she's got a cheat sheet on the other side of her nursing bra or something? [NY Times]
Post menopausal women who drink two or more alcoholic beverages a day may double their chances of getting endometrial cancer. [Science Daily]

Old Lady Shows Others Lost In The Wilderness How It's Done

amparry — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Three cheers for 76-year old Ora Doris Anderson; the senior was thought to be dead after she went missing in the Oregonian mountains for two weeks but rescuers found her alive yesterday. Way to go, Grandma! [CNN]
A Daily Mail writer has her panties in a wad over usually demure women being fond of topless sunbathing. We were laying out topless yesterday not because it was a way of letting out our inner whore but because white boobs look stupid. Besides, Sienna Miller does it and she's a trendsetter. [Daily Mail]
Is breast-feeding the word of the day? Lactivists (heh) took their "nurse-out" national as protesters demonstrated at Applebee's restaurants in 30 states. It would be so much easier to just refuse to eat at Applebee's from here on out — their food is nasty anyway. [Kentucky.com]

The UN has been meeting with women's rights activists from Iran. Um, they give us oil right? Okay, who gives a shit then. [Ms.]
This news story is all in French but a reader translated it for us — seven French riot police are accused of raping prostitutes, blackmailing them into having sex for free. But seriously, they were just kidding! It was all a joke! That really is what one of the officers is using as his excuse. [France2.fr]
A British police chief says the legal drinking age should be raised to 21 because of the rising booze-fueled rape occurences. Um, yeah, it's really worked for us here in the States. Now, where did we put our pepper spray? [Daily Mail]
Side effects like muscle aches and hot flashes are causing women to stop taking cancer pills that prevent the disease from returning. Unfortunately, the possibility of death increases if the women don't take the pills for the recommended five years. [MSNBC]
The Senate voted to lift restrictions on family planning aid to overseas organizations that performs abortions (Bush is expected to veto it anyway). Will the FBI come running into our home office if we dare say we wish he had been an abortion? [Let's find out! - Ed.] [LA Times]

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Prove The Experts Right

amparry — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 17:07:01 EDT

Breaking News! Men go for hot women, according to a speed-dating study. Researchers found that the men in the study "tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold." However the women chose men whose attractiveness was on par with their own, because every chick knows a hotter dude will dump her in a ditch as soon as something sexier comes along. And this is how Brangelina was born. [CNN]
Law enforcement is posting decoy ads on Craigslist in hopes of catching those who use the site to exchange money for sex. But how else is "Jews or Italians W/ Hot Faces Or Thick Cocks" supposed to find her dream guy? [NY Times]
Oh fiddle dee dee! The hour-glass figure made famous by Sophia Loren, Scarlett O'Hara, and a few missing ribs is no more. Women's waists have grown seven inches in the last 50 years. Clearly we have feminism to blame for all that excess breathing room. [Daily Mail]

Family therapy works better than individual therapy in treating bulimia. When Mommy insists that "no one loves a fatty" and Daddy says that ice cream is for losers, we can see why the 'rents might benefit from therapy too. [NY Times]
Chronic stress may give some women fertility problems. So just relax, sit back, and spread 'em! [NY Times]
One in 20 pregnant women smoke while one in 25 continue to drink even after they find out they're with child. Ladies, you have the rest of your lives to kill yourself with lung cancer and liver disease — let the child choose whether they want to party like it's 1999 after they come out of the womb, okay? [Daily Mail]
A 14-year old girl stabbed her 16-year-old sister to death in a dispute over a guy. We repeat, over a guy. Sigh. This is depressing. Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield got into some cat fights over guys (remember Todd Wilkins?), but they never forgot the sisterhood. [Daily Mail]
A serial stalker in the UK has been banned from being alone with any woman in Scotland for five years. Does it count as alone if he's 20 feet away, crouching behind a telephone pole? [BBC News]
Women are more likely to die from major heart surgeries than men according to a study from the European Society of Cardiology. As a result, the group is reconsidering it's treatment of heart problems for women as the usual go-to-treatments like angioplasties and bypasses (which help men) are more likely to result in death in women. [MSNBC]
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a leading cause of infertility but according to MSNBC there's a far greater price to pay — the acne and facial hair that sprouts as a result of increased testosterone. Totally fucking humiliating. [MSNBC]
A Kansas teen died when she jumped onto the back of her boyfriend's SUV as he drove away with another girl — the cheating bf didn't bother to stop when he heard "something" fall of the back of his car. He's being charged with reckless murder — not to mention being the worst boyfriend ever. [KCTV.com]