• Lily Allen has spoken about her miscarriage, which she describes as "the worst time of my life." She says:

"I couldn't even compute the emotions going through my head, but I was having to put out a press release about my miscarriage... I had this public sympathy for about five days and then everyone was on my case again and I didn't know what was happening to me… I just didn't deal with it at all. I didn't even start beginning to deal with it until the baby's due date. Then it just hit me like a house collapsing. I have therapy on and off but at that time it really helped me. Then I started to deal with it and move on. I still get sad. I still think. I don't mark (what would have been) my baby's birth but it's always there. […] I've had really bad, unbelievably awful times, but if I hadn't had them I wouldn't get the happiness I've got now. I'm very grateful because I could have turned down a very different path. It could have been awful. It really could." [Mirror]

• Meanwhile, Lily Allen wants to stay with her boyfriend, Sam Cooper, "forever." She says: "We've never had one argument and there's absolutely nothing about him that annoys me. He's not impressed by what I do. I've been with guys and seen them looking in the mirror before they walk out of the door with me. That makes me feel sick because I know it's not just me they're interested in." [Mirror]
• Britney Spears doing "The Year In BS" is brilliant. Brilliant! [NY Mag]
• "K-Fed Loses Weight, Gains Movie Role." And by movie, we mean straight-to-DVD teen sex comedy. [Radar Online]
• Sarah Jessica Parker on her Sex And The City castmates: "We love each other. Could we spend more time together? If that existed in our lives, absolutely. Do I see Cynthia Nixon as much as I want to? Never. Kristin Davis or Kim Cattrall? Never. It's just not the way our lives work. I don't see my best friends as much as I want to. But it doesn't mean that there is any less affection." [Mirror]
• The Sex And The City ladies will be on the cover (covers) of Marie Claire — each posing separately, not together. [Gatecrasher]
• Jude Law's assistant, Ben Jackson, and Rachel McAdams: Something's up. [Gatecrasher]
• Reading the exchanges between Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin in this interview, it's obvious that they have a zingy kind of chemistry that will be fun when they host the Oscars. Alec calls it "a kind of Hannity & Colmes antagonism." [USA Today]
• Brittany Murphy's husband spoke with Access Hollywood on Monday. "My world was destroyed yesterday," he said. "I loved what Ashton [Kutcher] wrote on Twitter. It was comforting to me… I couldn't have said it better." He described what happened when Brittany was found and denied that she was surrounded by bad influences: "I don't know why anyone would think that. She found love. We found love. Brittany didn't get to where Brittany was with anyone controlling her… Brittany was Brittany." [Access Hollywood, People]
• Brittany Murphy's cause of death will not be known until toxicology results come back, which could take two months. [TMZ]
• At the link, a list of the prescription drugs found at Brittany Murphy's home — including Klonopin, Ativan, and Propranolol, taken for hypertension and used to prevent heart attacks. No illegal drugs were found. [TMZ]
• This paper calls the meds at Brittany Murphy's house "a staggering trove of powerful prescriptions." [NY Daily News]
• "Family Friend Of Brittany Murphy Says Husband Simon Monjack Is 'Not Good.'" [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Adrian Grenier banged his drum. [Page Six]
• Apparently there was a rumor that Katy Perry hooked up with Robert Pattinson; she tweeted: "Read a bunch of yesterdays-news — BULLOCKS. Ppl should know by now that I don't do vampires, but I do, DO @rustyrockets [Russell Brand]. Don't get it TWISTED!" [Us]
• Jon Gosselin tried to sell his car at a used car lot but couldn't get as much as he wanted. [TMZ]
• Reading about whether nude pictures of Tiger Woods do or do not exist makes my eyes glaze over. [Radar Online]
• This magazine swears that Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel have been having sex "since the scandal broke" and that her condo is 500 feet from where Tiger's boat was docked. [In Touch]
• Simon Cowell's brother, radio host Tony Cowell, says Simon will leave American Idol at the end of the next season. He'll be concentrating on bringing X Factor to the US. [NY Post]
• Kim Kardashian lies on a bed and seductively eats salad for her new Carl's Jr. commercial, which made my eyes roll so far back in my head they almost got stuck. [E!]
• In The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, there's a scene in which the character played by Johnny Depp — standing in for Heath Ledger — sees a stream full of floating images of people who died prematurely in their prime: James Dean, Princess Diana, Rudolph Valentino. And he talks about their godlike status as the forever young. "It's very weird," director Terry Gilliam says. "We didn't change anything, and I wasn't going to change anything. We had to deal with certain things just to get through it. But the dialogue wasn't going to change if possible. That was the film Heath and I were making, and that's the film we finished." [USA Today]
• Terry Gilliam, Johnny Depp and Robert Duvall are trying to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote happen. At last. [UPI]
• Aw, it's super cute that Lisa Loeb has an eyewear collection. "Think sexy librarian, not retro grandma," she says. [People]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Jerry "Turtle" Ferrara: Splitsville. [Gatecrasher]
• Funny interview with Amy Poehler and Christina Applegate, who voice "Chipettes" in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Here's a snippet:
  Q: Any similarities between you and your Chipmunk selves?
  Amy: I want to be a star! (laughter) Well, Christina is a good leader. She's a good front person and she's an excellent singer and dancer in real life.
  Christina: Thank you for answering that question.
  Amy: You're welcome. I would say that I am like Eleanor in that I'm the shortest. And like Eleanor, I do not enjoy wearing high heels. I don't walk very well in them. But Christina and I look like we could have a bit of Chipmunk in our DNA.
  Christina: I have really hairy arms.
  Amy: And we both sleep all winter (laughter). [Reuters]
• Get your Kleenex: Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole have broken up. [Us]
• Bruce Willis is investing in Belvedere vodka. I am open to sponsorship by Bonbay Sapphire gin or any cheapo white zinfandel. What. [WSJ]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood dumped his girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova because she was cheating on him with a male model. As you may recall, Ronnie left his wife of 23 years when he met Ekaterina. [Daily Mail]
• Carrie Underwood is spoken for, as they say. This column notes that she wore "an eye-catching ring" at a hockey game on Monday night. [AP]
• Taylor Swift will perform and present at the Grammys. Obvs. [People]
• Beyoncé will perform at the Grammys. [ET]
• And Beyoncé's noodles are adorable. [WoW]
• Diane Sawyer started working the desk of the evening news on ABC now that Charles Gibson has retired. Did anyone watch? [AP]
• The Venice Film Festival has honored John Woo with a lifetime achievement award. Because those doves in Face/Off were genius! [AP]
• What's Christmas like at 50 Cent's house? He plays Santa Claus, buying presents… But he doesn't dress up as Santa. He also recommends that the reporter buy his wife underwear for Christmas. [Dazed Digital]
• Kristen Johnston will return to Ugly Betty, playing a aging party-girl and temp in a part originally written for Paula Abdul. "It was all, like, hot-flash jokes," says Johnston. "So I rewrote it." [NY Mag]
• Kim Peek, the man who inspired the Oscar-winning film Rain Man, has died. [AP]
• RIP Connie Hines, who played Carol Post on Mister Ed. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which lady who recently filed for divorce is trying to lure her husband to a Christmas reunion? Friends suspect she hopes to generate footage for a reality show." [Page Six]
• "While it was great that we were the 'First Couple' of porn, the fact is Tera hates the industry. She's not a sexual person. We barely had sex in our own marriage. She's desperate to break into the mainstream, and just wants to generate press. I didn't choose porn over her. Our marriage had a lot of holes in it, despite what she claims. I chose freedom." — Evan Seinfeld, Tera Patrick's ex-husband. [Page Six]
• "I've given up the Internet. I don't read comments, and I don't go on any of the sites anymore, and I just feel better. And it's not about being a celebrity - you get on MySpace, Facebook, there's all these different outlets where people can just feel like nobody's watching them so they can just say whatever they want to say… It gets dangerous sometimes." — Disney star Selena Gomez, to Seventeen. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've got to tell you. My disposition lies in rather populist entertainment. I'm not prejudiced in whether a film is low-budget, independent, or studio-oriented. I suppose the only thing I care about is whether you get some feeling, some sense of integrity from what it is you do. As long as that's not compromised extensively, then I think why should you care about where it comes from?" — Guy Ritchie on his big-budget film, Sherlock Holmes. [The Daily Beast]
• "If you ask me, I think she's all right. I think she's perfectly good. I just don't think people can get her persona out of the way." — Guy Ritchie on Madonna's acting. [The Daily Beast]
• "Yes, at this age it's unusual for somebody to do a love scene, to be making love… Yeah, that is unusual. But that is just how benighted we are. Because, you know, we still are alive. … It's authentic. The whole idea that you have to look a certain way and be a certain age to earn love is ridiculous." — It's Complicated star Meryl Streep, to the Times Of London. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I don't believe in having work done, because then everybody looks the same. [But] I should exercise more. Lose a couple of kilos." — Sophia Loren. [StarPulse]

• Tom Cruise is being sued by Michael David Sapir, who he sued in 2001 after Sapir claimed he had a video of Cruise "engaged in a homosexual relationship." Now Sapir says Cruise hired a P.I. to wiretap his phone.

He says the wiretapping took place during the 2001 case, which was later settled. Afterwards, both parties issued a statement saying the tape never existed. [TMZ]

• An autopsy was performed today on Brittany Murphy. Sources say there were no signs of foul play, but nothing that pointed to a cause of death either. Now the coroner is waiting for the toxicology report and other lab tests come back. [TMZ]
• The LAPD has concluded its preliminary investigation into the death of Brittany Murphy and sources say there is no evidence of foul play. [TMZ ]
• In this article, Brittany Murphy's "friends" say she got addicted to prescription drugs after having plastic surgery, used cocaine, and had an eating disorder. "We have been very worried something like this was about to happen. Brittany has been living life on the edge. She definitely had a drug problem and we have all begged her to seek help. Sadly our words fell on deaf ears," said the source. [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher, who dated Brittany Murphy, showed up to a book signing for Kabbalah leader Yehuda Berg on Sunday afternoon, but an eyewitness says he "looked visibly shaken when he arrived. He was physically there to support Berg, but mentally he was on another planet." [Star]
• This video isn't all that interesting, but it now seems creepy in light of Brittany Murphy's death. At a public appearance, she says to a reporter, "Can I have your hair in my next life please?" The reporter replies, "Can I be you in my next life?" [TMZ]
• In an e-mail to ABC News, Brittany Murphy's half-brother Jeff Bertolotti said, "I haven't seen my little sis for eight years or so now due to family issues and Hollywood politics, but never have i lost my heart for that sweet little child... I'm torn up in side beyond belief. It's just not natural for a man of 54 to see his kid sister of 32 leave in such an abrupt manner as this. The loss is just unbearable to us all." [ABC News]
• A clip of Abby Elliott impersonating Brittany Murphy on the December 5 episode of SNL was removed from Hulu last night. [EW]
• Hockey player Mike Fisher confirmed that he and Carrie Underwood are engaged at a press conference before an Ottawa Senators game tonight. "It's true," said Fisher. "We're both obviously excited and very happy." [Ottawa Sun]
• Her rep says: "I'm happy to confirm that Carrie Underwood is engaged to Mike Fisher, and the couple couldn't be happier... No wedding date has been set at this time." [People]
• There's a rumor going around that Jay-Z and Beyonce have changed their legal names to Shawn and Beyonce Knowles-Carter. A source says Beyonce wanted to keep the Knowles name alive because her parents had no boys. [Media Take Out]
• Britney Spears' manager posted a "BS Alert" on her blog listing the 75 most outlandish stories published about Britney last year. He lists a story about Britney dating Indian choreographer Sandip Soparrkar as the most ridiculous, but we think Courtney Love posting on her Facebook page "britneys dad molested her" is more disturbing. [Us]
• The FBI was supposed to release 333 pages of formerly-classified documents about Michael Jackson today, but they've been delayed by a day due to the snow storm. Source say the documents show that in 1993 Johnnie Cochran contacted the FBI and claimed the family of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of child molestation was just trying to extort money from MJ. [TMZ]
• Wave goodbye to Tiger Woods: Sources say he and some friends took off on his yacht from Florida this weekend and they're cruising to the Bahamas. [E!]
• It seems all of Tiger Woods' neighbors knew that he was cheating because he'd take women out to dinner and bring them to his home. "Elin feels that Tiger made a fool of her and that's not something she can forgive," said a source. [Radar Online]
• Sources say the husband of Theresa Rogers, the woman who had the longest affair with Tiger Woods, found out about their affair but made some kind of arrangement so she could keep sleeping with Tiger. [Radar Online]
• Moments after Pete Doherty escaped a prison sentence by admitted to careless and drunken driving in court, he was arrested on suspicon of possessing a controlled drug and taken to the police station across the street from the court house. [The Telegraph]
• Boy George is appealing his probation sentence for imprisoning a male escort because it prevents him from appearing on Celebrity Big Brother. [BBC]
• Are Randy and Evi Quaid on the lam? This morning they posted bail and later they were seen packing some belongings into their car and driving off into the sunset. [Perez Hilton]
• Check out Evi Quaid's mug shot from her arrest on Saturday here: [Radar Online]
• New Zealand TV host Paul Henry, who said Susan Boyle was "starved of oxygen at birth" and "she is in fact retarded," has apologized saying, "I am sorry that some people have taken what I said in a way that I never intended." [AFP]
• Want to party with the cast of Jersey Shore? It's going to cost you. Michael Schweiger of CEG Talent says, "We get the most requests for Mike (aka The Situation) and Pauly D. They're $7,500 per person." [E!]
• One of Bon Jovi's sons was taken to the hospital in New Jersey this morning. Authorities said the incident wasn't serious and he's already been released. [Perez Hilton]
• Taylor Swift is in talks to star in the remake of the 1984 flop Supergirl! The Love Story. [The Wrap]
• Taylor Swift has been named the Associated Press Entertainer of the Year. "I am so honored and so excited," Swift said. "This was so unexpected, and I could not be more grateful." Tina Fey won last year and Stephen Colbert won in 2007. [AP]
• The AP says Michael Jackson's death was the biggest entertainment story of 2009 (obvs.). [AP]
• No surprises here either: Entertainment Weekly named Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's How To Be Famous the worst book of the year. [EW]
• Jessica Simpson posted this video of herself using an ear candle, which was a Christmas gift from her hair stylist Ken Paves, on her Twitter for some unknown reason. [Buzzfeed]
• Some previously unseen letters Princess Diana wrote in the 1980s have been released. In one letter she tells a friend, "I could not resist opening my present, as a parcel of any shape or form has never been safe with me and I fear that William has also picked up this dreadful habit from his mother, as I find wrapping paper undone in the most extraordinary places!" [Daily Mail]
• Nancy Meyers says Alec Baldwin demanded a butt double for It's Complicated. "He said, 'Mine's beautiful. However, I don't want to do that,'" she reported. [Us]

In the fall OK!, the runt of the tabloid litter, decided to cash in on the anticipation for New Moon with full month of fake Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson covers. Basically an OK! scribe sat up all night with copies of the Twilight books and theorized that, to quote the September 2 issue, "Life might just imitate art." Though, the Twilight twosome aren't actually engaged or married, and we're pretty sure Kristen doesn't "read aloud from the volume of Virgil's Doomed Love that [Rob] gave her this year."

At one point, the mag actually declared "each stage of the twosome's love story mirrors Stephenie Meyer's cult vampire saga." A joke about Robert Pattinson delivering Kristen Stewart's vampire baby would be appropriate here, but OK! already told fans they should be on a "bump watch" because Kristen may soon be delivering a baby which, if all goes according to plan, will be named "Clules Pattinson."

KStew and RPatz weren't the only celebs to tie the knot (in the minds of tabloid editors). Jason Trawick proposed to Britney Spears in the Bahamas with a ring he bought in the gift shop of the Atlantis Resort & Casino. (If anyone can appreciate a glittery plastic ring with dolphins on it, it's Britney.) The mag said the wedding would take place this month in Louisiana, with Jamie Lynn as Brit's maid of honor and her boys as ring bearers. Britney and Jason better get cracking — they only have two more weeks to throw together their "old-fashioned Southern wedding." Hey, maybe they can get Reverend Sun Myoung Moon of South Korea to perform the ceremony over the internet, just like he did for Nicole Richie and Joel Madden!

Truthfully, living room nuptials were not what we dreamed of for Nicole and Joel, but at least their wedding was better than Chris Brown and Rihanna's sexy domestic violence-themed wedding. Yes, Star actually tried to make Chris assaulting Rihanna sound romantic with lines like, "He tenderly wiped [her tears] away and kissed her face, which was still slightly bruised. He just kept whispering, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.'" Thank god their beach wedding only took place in the pages of Star.

Several stars walked past the newsstands this year and were surprised to learn that their marriages were crumbling. The only source in this story about Sarah and Todd Palin's divorce was Mercede Johnston, Levi's 17-year-old sister. After all, who understands the inner workings of their marriage better than the teenage sister of their daughter's ex-boyfriend?

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick split too, and James "Wilke" (whose name is actually spelled "Wilkie") was caught in the middle... right between his two new baby sisters.

But, no one split more this year than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It seems Brad has only one method of transportation: storming off. While regular men might ride their motorcycle or go to their movie premiere, Brad can only "storm off" on his bike or "storm off" to the San Sebastian International Film Festival.

This year Brangelina started living in opposite ends of their French mansion, because it wasn't enough to just sleep in different bedrooms. There was one good thing that came out of their sparring. In Touch claims that Brad and Angie felt so guilty about their "crumbling relationship" that they spoiled the kids with theme days. All the Jolie-Pitts would dress up as characters from movies or books like James Bond or Harry Potter. We could probably tolerate Brangie's bickering if we got to have a "Wizard Day" with Maddox, Pax, Zahara, and Shiloh involving "magic potion punch to drink, and they had to solve clues to go to wizard college."

The only person Brad could vent to about he and Angelina's various "fights to end all fights" was, of course, the woman he humiliated and left for Angie. Jennifer Aniston had plenty of time to devote to Brad, since all she's done in the past five years is sit around and think about how she's "so lonely." Brad and Jen kept their love alive via text messages and drunk dials this year, and even managed to sneak past the paparazzi on numerous occasions to hook up in hotels or just take a leisurely two hour drive around New York City. Mostly they talked about what a handful Angie is, but Brad also provided beauty advice. Jen was thinking about cutting her hair, but a "friend" told In Touch, "He talked her out of it. He told her to just trim it and go blonder."

Of course, Brad and Jen also talked about her becoming a "mom at last," which is particularly creepy when you recall that they split because they couldn't agree on whether or not to have kids (or so the tabloids claimed at the time). Jen was desperate to get pregnant because she was turned 40 this year, so she tried get every man she came in contact with to be her baby daddy. Apparently she couldn't convince John Mayer or Gerard Butler to spawn with her, because Star reported in April that she had completed paperwork (with Brad's help) to adopt an American baby boy that she would name Nicholas John. Fickle Jen must have changed her mind about little Nick at the last minute, since Star reported in December that she was adopting a Mexican toddler (with Brad's help).

Clearly, the only way for Angie to win Brad back from Jen was to get pregnant with (or perhaps adopt) her 7th child. After all, a man can walk out on six kids, but not seven. Star reported that Angie was two and a half months along on April 15, so we must have missed when she gave birth in late October. We'll have to keep our eyes peeled for the arrival of the other 7th baby she's currently pregnant with and the African and/or Eastern European baby she's adopting.

Sometimes it's just so hard to keep tabs on all the famous uteri, especially when the mags keep forgetting to write the word "someday" and the end of those coverlines about celebs who see babies in their future. Also, let's just make a rule that no female star is allowed to touch her belly and smile coyly ever again.

We got so wrapped up in the goings on in Katie's uterus that we almost forgot about the biggest pregnancy news of the year: White. House. Baby. In this inauguration story, Star claimed that 45-year-old Michelle Obama, who had difficulty conceiving Malia, decided to give in vitro a go because she and Barack had nothing else going on in 2009. If the procedure didn't work, they planned to adopt a learning-disabled child, or perhaps an African-American boy that Barack could "play hoops with." Unless they've cleverly disguised their adopted son in a Portuguese Water Dog costume, this never happened.

Looking back, we've had a lot of fun with the tabloids this year, from stories about Jessica Simpson keeping a framed picture of Tiger Woods in her bedroom, to Suri and Shiloh's 100% Photoshopped playdate. Who knows what the stars will do in 2010, or rather, what adventures the tabloids will concoct? Jennifer Aniston could adopt a brood of Bolivian orphans, Britney could get pregnant with sextuplets, or Michelle Obama could start sexting Brad Pitt. Think about what stories you'd like to see, because, as we've learned from the editors of Star, Us, In Touch, Life & Style, and OK!, the only limit is your imagination.

[New York, December 21. Image via Splash.]

• Courtney Love threatened to sue Perez Hilton for publishing her messages about Frances Bean Cobain, yet she posted about her daughter again today saying, "im angry at these people not Frances id just prefer she not become Jaimie L Spears."

• Courtney wrote on Facebook this afternoon: "theres not a whole lot i can do about it. this is like a hand grenade got thrown into our lives and its not Frances! i am angry at these people not Frances id just prefer she not become Jaimie L Spears, she should go be a writer or an a...rtist wich i support 100% but this is a circus and it pains me cos i know she hates it." She added, "i very much miss my daighter, i know she knows how miserable i am im despairing and so sad, so so sad, but i just want to help her be happy, thats it, get her house and get her school and thats all ive ever wanted." [TMZ]
• Courtney Love says Perez Hilton defamed her by posting the two earlier Facebook messages about Frances Bean Cobain and the Cobain family and now she's getting her lawyer involved. In another Facebook message posted today Love writes: "perez you know what YOUR lawyer saud? to a client? "if shed just give in and sell rest for 15 million all of this would dissapear like magic" tell him to suck i oh by the way you lying queen youve just lied and defamed me and my child for the last time i fuckign HATE YOU you fat ass piece of bully shit PART of that was from a personal lettr and PART of that YOU made up, and thats ILLEGAL." [BlackBook Mag]
• The arbitrator has made his decision on how the Gosselins' assets should be divided up. His decision is confidential, but sources say now that the money has been split a divorce decree is "imminent." [TMZ]
• A source says Kate Gosselin "couldn't be happier" with how their assets were divided. "Kate is thrilled." [Radar Online]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod actually broke up weeks ago, according to insiders. "Kate decided to take her mom to some of the press stuff and premieres as her date – that was good for her," says the source. "They both have kids and totally different lives ... They may not be done working it out though." [People]
• Tiger Woods' lady friends Jamie Jungers and Jaimee Grubbs ran into each other at a club in L.A. earlier this week. Grubbs told Jungers to stay away from her because she "hasn't talked to Tiger since the scandal broke, and she's done with it," said a source. "She wants to be disassociated from the whole thing. She just wants to do her own thing." So that's why she sold her story to the tabloids instead of just "doing her own thing" on Tool Acadamy? [E!]
• Tiger Woods' 14th named mistress Theresa Rogers heard the rumors that Tiger paid Rachel Uchitel millions to keep quiet and now she wants a payoff too. [Radar Online]
• Did you hear that Elin Nordegren would be appearing in ads for Puma? Well, it isn't true. A spokesman for the company says, "To correct recent news headlines, Puma has no plans to engage in a brand sponsorshop agreement with Elin Woods." [Extra]
• Sources say that next week Elin Nordegren is meeting with a divorce attorney who has worked with Nicole Kidman, Nicolas Cage and Britney Spears. [Radar Online]
• Just six months after opening his Mirimichi golf course near Memphis, Justin Timberlake is closing it from January to July to make improvements. [AP]
• Sophia Coppola and her boyfriend Thomas Mars are expecting their second child. [People]
• Garth Brooks is suing his hometown hospital in Yukon, Oklahoma because he donated $500,000 for a building to be named after his late mother four years ago, but the building never materialized. [CNN]
• There are rumors that Alexa Chung quit her MTV show because she is suffering from an eating disorder, but her rep insists, "She is absolutely exhausted. She's been working 16-hour days on four live shows a week. She didn't want to do that any more. It's been absolutely grueling and she hasn't had time to explore New York." The rep added, "Everybody's body looks different depending on what you wear. It's very easy to find a picture with bones sticking out. Alexa's weight hasn't changed for four years and she takes her role as a style icon and someone young girls look up to very seriously." [News Of The World]
• Jesse McCartney dumped Hayden Panettiere and is hooking up with his ex-girlfriend Katie Cassidy. [E!]
• BBC Radio DJ Chris Evans apologized to listeners for George Michael swearing during an interview. This article doesn't say what George Michael said. [The Mirror]
• During an interview CNN's Wolf Blitzer asked Shakira, '"She Wolf.' I have a personal interest in the name. How did you come up with that name?" She replied, "I bet you do. Well you were part of the reason." [Press Release]
• Usher's ex-wife Tameka Raymond said, "While I am flattered at the rumor circulating about being considered to join the cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I am absolutely not joining the cast. I was initially approached by the producers for last season and declined. At this point, my priorities are focusing on being a mom and my philanthropy, Lost Ones Foundation." [E!]
• Mo'Nique says she heard that she was nominated for a Golden Globe "In the bathroom with my husband having a conversation, just laughing and joking and he gets a text from one of the producers of ‘The Mo'Nique Show,' saying ‘Congratulations, on the Golden Globe nomination.' I just started laughing. I said, O.K.!... our bathroom is I guess, you know how people have their favorite room? It just happens to be our bathroom. That's normally where we get all our news!" [NYT]
• John Krasinski says of working with Meryl Streep in It's Complicated, "It was my first day, and it was our first big scene together. As Zoe (Kazan, as Streep's middle child) is driving away, I put my arm around Meryl, and I say, 'They grow up so fast.' I was slowly trying not to feel so awkward, but every single one of my fingers knew I was touching Meryl Streep." [USA Today]
• Emily Blunt says of Queen Victoria, who she plays in The Young Victoria, "I only knew the image of her as the grizzled old woman, to read about this spicy, spunky girl who said no to the world, it was really exciting and revealing to read her diaries and her letters. She was a modern girl, refusing to conform. And I loved that. She had this incredibly oppressive, lonely childhood, and yet she had the steeliness to rise above it all and become a success." [USA Today]
• Keira Knightley, who is making her debut on London's West End on Friday says, "(I know I will be) burned alive (by the critics). I'm not coming into it with any great expectations of coming away with great reviews. I thought if I don't do theatre right now, I think I'm going to start being too terrified to do it. So I just thought, okay, dive in and give it a go. If my best isn't good enough, then so be it." [Daily Express]
• Miss Piggy has some very un-P.C. views on female domestic abusers. She says: "My Kermie is nothing like [Tiger Woods]. I just want to say, he would never do anything untoward moi, but, if he did, you can rest assured there'd be a hole in one, and he'd be the one!"[People]
• Daniel Day Lewis said watching Nine at the New York premiere "was nerve-wracking." He added, "That's the one and only time I will do that." [Showbiz 411]
• When asked if she'll appear in Ghostbusters 3, Sigourney Weaver said, "I might do it; I didn't realize I was in it. So I'm going to read the script. I was happy to discover, though, that my little baby son [from Ghostbusters 2] has grown up and become a ghostbuster. I think that Ivan [Reitman] wants our little grouplet together. I think it's a lovely idea to have another generation of people discover the characters. I remember I was opening the door for some trick-or-treaters last Halloween and a bunch of ghostbusters came to door. And one woman was [my character, Dana Barrett], and because I was at a friend's house, it was a complete accident. Might as well feed them a new movie." [WSJ]
• "I don't really desire things. I prefer to spend my money on experiences, on meals or travel. I look at the world through a green lens now, but you can't make yourself crazy. That feeling of green guilt can be really inhibiting," says Rachel McAdams. "It's about a changing mind-set, remembering to turn off the water when you are brushing your teeth." [Daily Express]

[Los Angeles, December 15. Image via x17.]

• Rachel McAdams — with a mop of, dare we say it, could that be Kate G.-inspired hair — graces the January cover of Vogue. McAdams went to a couple fashion shows with Anna Wintour in September. [JustJared]

• John Galliano is getting into the men's wear business. Not satisfied with Christian Dior, Dior Haute Couture, John Galliano, and Galliano, the British designer will present his first men's collection at men's wear week in Milan next month. There will be knitwear, leather, shirts, jackets, and jeans, and the pieces be available for sale in the fall. [FWD]
• Sienna Miller was asked whether she was a fan of the January issue of V, which will feature plus-size models. "I suppose that's something you'd have to say — I couldn't sit here and say, 'No, I'm not,'" said the actress, who modeled briefly before switching codes. "But I sincerely believe that that's more beautiful than someone who is poker-thin. I really do. I would love to have boobs to go with my hips, but I don't — that's just not the way the cookie crumbled." [The Cut]
• An LVMH executive tweeted today that Marc Jacobs and Victoria Beckham were talking together about a line with fur. [Fashionologie]
• Britney Spears' upcoming Candie's campaign was shot this week by none other than Annie Leibovitz. That woman must be a total spendthrift to be bankrupt. [ONTD]
• Alberta Ferretti, who normally shows her Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti collection at New York Fashion Week, is downsizing, probably to a presentation, for this February. Ferretti herself may not even make the trip from Milan. [FWD]
• In case any of you were wondering: Those new Louis Vuitton ads that look kind of like low-rent Vermeers, and feature models doing leather work by hand with waxed linen thread? They are as fake as the pebble-finish coated canvas on a monogram bag. Louis Vuitton products are mass manufactured out of machine-cut pattern pieces by people at industrial sewing machines who do piecework. (Next up we plan to exclusively reveal that some of the cheese you eat may not, in fact, come from happy cows.) [BW]
• Barneys New York's parent company, Dubai World, received a $10 billion loan from Abu Dhabi to solve a cash flow emergency. This is fueling speculation that Barneys may be sold, although insiders say no sale is imminent. [WWD]
• More Michael Jackson memorabilia is hitting the auction circuit. Shoes which Michael Jackson moonwalked in for a concert on September 10, 2001, are being sold off along with a fedora from the same gig. [Mirror]
• After leaving fashion, Georges Marciano of Guess? jeans fame engaged in a kind of epic crack-up. He once dreamed of becoming governor of California, but his own paranoia, and a series of lawsuits, have him poised to lose a $500 million empire. [LATimes]
• Some people with too much time on their hands scoured The Fashion Spot, counting editorial models in the various world editions of Vogue for 2009. 17-year-old Karlie Kloss, reigning favorite of American Vogue and Vogue Italia, won; Carine Roitfeld's model of choice, Lara Stone, came in second. Jourdan Dunn, who spent nine months of this year pregnant, still managed to come in ninth. [Fashin]
• Nylon managed to say some nice things about the Olsen twins' JC Penney line, Olsenboye. Despite the fact that one of the pieces is a direct knock-off of Stephen Sprouse's graffiti pieces for Louis Vuitton. [Nylon]
• Same-store sales at H&M fell 9% on last year this November, marking the seventh straight month of falling comparable sales at the Swedish chain. [WSJ]
• Executives from Kohl's came to New York last week to look for real estate for what would be the company's first Manhattan location. Then New Yorkers could shop Lauren Conrad's collection in person! [WWD]

1. Jennifer Aniston/2. Brad Pitt, Y2K: When this picture was taken in February of 2000, Pitt and Aniston had been dating for roughly two years. Just a few months later, the two were married, a union that lasted until 2005, when the couple split and Pitt moved on to Angelina Jolie. The story was a tabloid dream come true, with lurid tales of Pitt, Jolie, and Aniston creating a soap opera storyline that's still being played out, nearly 5 years later: just this week, Star Magazine ran a cover declaring that Jennifer Aniston was finally ready for baby..."with Brad's help!"


3. Angelina Jolie, Y2K: But the Brangelina storm hadn't swept through Jolie's life in 2000; at that point, she was married to Billy Bob Thornton, and delighting/horrifying the press with tales of their torrid love affair. Jolie claimed that she wore a vial of Thornton's blood around her neck, and the two weren't shy about discussing their sex life on the red carpet. By 2002, Jolie had adopted her first child, Maddox, and by 2003, Thornton and Jolie had divorced.


Jennifer Aniston, 2009: Aniston has spent the better part of the decade living in the tabloids; after Friends went off the air in 2004, she segued into a movie career, though the public seemed more interested in the scandal surrounding her divorce from Pitt. She has been painted as "lonely" and "desperate" by many a tabloid magazine, even though she's dated several famous men, including John Mayer and Vince Vaughn. Though the Brangelaniston blitz shows no signs of slowing, Aniston continues to make films and most likely hopes that the world moves past her 5-year-old divorce as we enter a new decade.


Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie, 2009: Jolie and Pitt, arguably the world's most famous couple, have gone on to have three biological children together; Pitt has also adopted Jolie's adopted children, and all of their children share the surname "Jolie-Pitt." The couple have devoted much of their energy to charity work through their Jolie/Pitt Foundation. and, like Aniston, I assume, to trying to break out of the Brangelina media blitz. Jolie, who 10 years ago spent time discussing the vials of blood around her neck, has since become a UN Goodwill Ambassador and is well-known for her humanitarian efforts.


4. Britney Spears, Y2K: Britney was on top of the world in 2000, riding the success of her second album, Oops...I Did It Again. In 2001, she performed her now-infamous "I'm A Slave 4U" dance at the MTV Video Music Awards, snake, see-thru bodysuit, and all, but things started to come off the rails in 2002, when her relationship with Justin Timberlake came to an end. Timberlake's solo career skyrocketed with songs about how Britney did him wrong, and Spears' career, and carefully marketed sexy virgin image, began to crumble.


In 2004, Spears married Kevin Federline (it was technically her first marriage, after an ill-advised 24 hour marriage to a childhood friend in Vegas). The marriage would produce two sons for Spears, Sean Preston and Jayden James, but it would also produce a number of disturbing problems.


By 2008, Spears and Federline had divorced, and Spears' erratic behavior had cost her custody of her two children. She spent most of her time in court or driving around Los Angeles, wearing wigs and stopping at gas stations and Starbucks shops. Spears' behavior become increasingly bizarre, with the pop star shaving her head on camera and giving a disastrous performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. After she was hospitalized twice for psychiatric reasons, her father, Jamie Spears, won the right to a conservatorship over his daughter. Spears' career and personal life were then intensely monitored and controlled by her father.


Britney Spears, 2009: By 2009, Spears' personal life and career appear to be back on track; she embarked on a world tour behind her successful record, Circus, has extended visitation rights with her children, and her conservatorship may end soon, leaving her in control of her own destiny for the first time in years. Hopefully, the next decade will be a little easier for Britney than the last one was.


5. Beyonce Knowles, Y2K: Beyonce, circa Y2K, was still with her group, Destiny's Child, figure skating across America, recording hits like "Independent Woman, Part 1" for the Charlie's Angels soundtrack. After several successful Destiny's Child singles like "Bootylicious," (which she co-wrote) Beyonce decided that we were, in fact, ready for this jelly, and decided to strike out on her own with her 2003 album, "Dangerously In Love." Destiny's Child split in 2005, and Knowles' solo career has been going strong ever since.


Beyonce Knowles, 2009: By 2009, Knowles had established a wildly successful solo career, introduced the world to her alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, married long-time boyfriend Jay-Z in a private ceremony, and branched out into acting with roles in Dreamgirls and Cadillac Records. Her video for "Single Ladies" is perhaps one of the most memorable videos of 2009, if not the entire decade.


6. Tom Cruise & 7. Nicole Kidman, Y2K:Though it seems a bit hard to picture at this point, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman started the decade as a married couple; in 2001, they'd split after 11 years of marriage.


Nicole Kidman, 2009: Kidman's career skyrocketed after her divorce from Cruise; in 2003, she received the Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours. Kidman went on to marry country music star Keith Urban in 2006, and in 2008 the couple had a daughter together named Sunday Rose.


Tom Cruise, 2009: Tom Cruise's career hasn't fared as well as his ex-wife's this decade. His career tanked following an incredibly weird series of television appearance, such as a Today show appearance wherein he called Matt Lauer "glib" and accused him of not understanding the history of psychiatry like Cruise did, as well a now-infamous appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show during which Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch to declare his love for actress Katie Holmes, whom he married in 2006. The couple's marriage that year, as well as the birth of their daughter, Suri, has made them a tabloid favorite ever since, with Tom's association with Scientology often overshadowing both of their acting careers.


8. Whitney Houston, Y2K: Whitney started the decade with a Grammy Award for Best R&B Female Vocal Performance, but her career faltered as the decade went on. Accusations of drug use ("crack is wack") swirled around her marriage, which was documented for a depressing reality show called Being Bobby Brown, which showed a side of Houston the public had never seen before (and gave The Soup one of its favorite catchphrases). Houston divorced Brown in 2006, went to rehab for what she now admits was drug addiction, and began to get her career together.


Whitney Houston, 2009: In 2009, Houston returned with her album, I Look To You, discussed the difficulties of the past decade in a tell-all interview with Oprah and received a standing ovation at the American Music Awards following a performance of "I Didn't Know My Own Strength."


9. Lindsay Lohan, Y2K:, Lohan, shown here in 2001, began the decade under the Disney umbrella, starring in films like Freaky Friday and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Her breakthrough came with 2004's Mean Girls and the release of her first album, Speak, though troubles in her personal life soon seemed to follow, with the actress being accused of having everything from an eating disorder to self-harming issues to drug addiction.


Lindsay Lohan, 2009: It has not been a great second half of the decade for Lohan; her last few years in the press have been dominated family troubles, her on again-off again relationship with Samantha Ronson, rumors of violent and erratic behavior, and film duds like I Know Who Killed Me and the straight-to-television Labor Pains. Yet Hollywood loves a comeback story, so we'll have to see what the next decade has in store for Lilo.


10. Joaquin Phoenix, Y2K: Phoenix started the decade by scoring an Academy Award nomination for his performance in Gladiator; a second nomination would come in 2005 for his portrayal of Johnny Cash in Walk The Line. In 2008, he shifted gears and began focusing on his rap career, which confused pretty much everyone.


Joaquin Phoenix, 2009: By 2009, Phoenix claimed he was retiring from acting to work on his rap career full-time. He discussed his plans during a now-infamous appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, appearing completely out-of-it and nearly unrecognizable behind shades and a grizzled beard. Phoenix claims his rap career is "not a joke," and his transformation from actor to rapper is being filmed for an upcoming documentary by his brother-in-law, Casey Affleck. Whether or not Phoenix's career change will be successful (or if it's all an elaborate hoax) is yet to be seen, but I suppose all will be revealed at some point during the next decade. After all, you never know what can happen in just 10 years.

[Beverly Hills, December 7. Image via x17.]

• Wait wait wait wait. Did Lindsay Lohan spend the night at Jason Segel's house?

Apparently he came outside and told nosy paparazzi that she was not inside. An hour later, she emerged. [Daily Mail]

• The photographer who shot Lindsay Lohan in a ménage-à-trois situation for Muse magazine, Yu Tsai, says: "When you see her nipple, it just happened in the moment. She was playing the role of Kate Moss — you're at a party and you are with a guy you really love and another girl. She is stunning and radiates in the pictures. Lindsay is incredibly focused where it comes to her career and fashion is her passion. It's raw, it's exposed, this is her at her best. She told me: 'I want to make this iconic.'" So; the nipple shot was in the moment, huh? What about the bare-assed shot? [Page Six]
• Madonna could possibly adopt again. "Never say never," she told a TV news reporter. [Daily Express]
• Is Britney's dad's conservatorship coming to an end? Jamie Spears actually has two: one over Britney as a person; another over her business affairs. The business conservatorship will likely continue, but Britney may get some freedom back. [TMZ]
• "Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, the American actors, have made it into Who's Who 2010, adding a 'touch of Hollywood glamour' to the list of new entrants." [Telegraph]
• Diane Sawyer has announced that this is her last week on Good Morning America. She will take over the World News anchor chair for Charles Gibson, who retires December 18. [Good Morning America]
• Christopher Cuomo has resigned from ABC, where he was the is co-anchor of Good Morning America and a regular contributor to ABC Evening News. Is it because people are saying George Stephanopolous will take over for Diane Sawyer? [Radar Online]
• mediabistro.com's TV Newser column declares: "Reports of Chris Cuomo's Resignation Untrue." [TV Newser]
• Alexa Ray Joel is out of the hospital. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources claim that Alexa Ray Joel took pills after fighting with an ex-boyfriend. [Extra, People]
• Alexa Ray Joel's ex-boyfriend, Johnny Riot, says: "I don't know how she's doing." [NY Daily News]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are heating up again, and you know, I hope those crazy kids make it work. Adorable. [Gatecrasher]
• Over the weekend, Jake Gyllenhaal said: "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but [being around their kids has] opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." Does using the word "girlfriend" mean that he and Reese have not broken up? [Gatecrasher]
• Tiger Woods is a regular at two bars in Orlando, FL — people who work at the Blue Martini say that Tiger is "really friendly" with the waitresses and at a bar called 23, the private lounge is called the Tiger Room — where Tiger's tab is around $1,500 a night. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' fourth alleged mistress, Jamie Jungers, is a former Trashy Lingerie "Trashy Girl," as you can see in the pictures at the link. [E!, E!]
• This post claims that Tiger Woods made the decision to pay off Rachel Uchitel after a "secret phone call" in which she made it clear that was not the one who leaked the story of their affair. And: "Tiger felt it was important to silence Uchitel more than any other woman because his relationship with her was current and intense." [Radar Online]
• More women may come forward to say they've been involved with Tiger Woods. An anonymous Las Vegas nightclub owner says: "He wasn't one to send away someone who was interested. There was a revolving door of women with Tiger. I can think of half a dozen off the top of my head." [MSNBC Scoop]
• One alleged mistress says that Tiger Woods told her his marriage was a sham and "only for publicity." [NY Daily News]
• Tiger Woods' best friend, Byron Bell — the one who bought tickets for Rachel Uchitel to join Tiger in Australia — is getting married next week. Tiger is the best man. [TMZ]
• Wait, what? "Tiger Woods Alienates Black Community With White Lovers." You mean golf didn't do it? One blogger says: "If Tiger Woods had cheated on his gorgeous white wife with black women, the golfing great's accident would have been barely a blip in the blogosphere." [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look who's on the January cover of Golf Digest? Tiger Woods. And Barack Obama. [The Life Files, WSJ]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Amy Adams is pregnant. She and fiancé Darren Legallo have yet to set a wedding date. [NY Daily News]
• Clothingus strippis! The new Harry Potter flick will feature a "very sexy" love scene in which Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson are NAKED. Doubt that we'll see Harry's wand, though. It ain't Equus. [Telegraph]
• Susan Boyle is still at the top of the album charts in the UK. [Mirror]
• Matt Damon thinks a fourth Jason Bourne movie will happen "someday." He adds: "It's gotta happen - we've just got to get a script, and we don't have one." The thing is, he wants to do it with director Paul Greengrass, who recently said he wasn't interested in returning to the franchise. "I wouldn't do it with anybody else." [MTV News]
• Rihanna high-fived a young woman wearing the same outfit at her album launch party. [Gatecrasher]
• Shakira will speak at the Oxford Union debating society in front of Oxford University students. [The Star]
• Helen Mirren keeps her Oscar, SAG Awards, BAFTAs, Golden Globes and Emmys in her attic. At the Women in Film and TV Awards – where she won a Lifetime Achievement award — she was asked how a Lifetime Achievement prize made her feel. She said: "Old." [Telegraph]
• A Mexican governor plans to empty a prison in Veracruz in January so that Mel Gibson can film a movie there. [AP]
• "Harvard Medical School professor contends U.S. talk show host Nancy Grace is partially to blame for the suicide of a mother of a missing boy three years ago." [UPI]
• I didn't read this item about how Hulk Hogan wants his antique toilet seat back from his ex-wife because I don't want to know. [TMZ]
• Hotel Gramercy Park premieres tonight on the Sundance Channel, and luminaries such as Debbie Harry, Julian Schnabel, Karl Lagerfeld, Ben Stiller, Winona Ryder, Russell Simmons and Kanye West make appearances in the film. [Page Six]
• John McEnroe and rocker wife Patty Smyth: Spotted smoking a joint at an art exhibit. [Page Six]
• "I've tried, but I get too crazy with that guitar arm and the things coming toward you… I think the game is great… I think the graphics are great."— Ringo Starr has never played Beatles: Rock Band. [Mirror]
• "I didn't really have that many friends at school. Kids would just heckle me: 'Oh, go sing that country beep.' It just dawned on me that I had to love being different or else I was going to end up being dark and angry and frustrated by school. Sometimes I felt like I was some sort of spy because I would go to school during the day, and then, after school, I had this life that was completely different. I definitely was more nervous walking into my first day of freshman year in high school than I was walking up to record labels and handing them my CD." — Taylor Swift. [NY Times]
• "I felt like that was fun. I would do it exactly the same way. You know, I am who I am." — Adam Lambert wouldn't change a thing about his AMA performance. [Gatecrasher]
• "We definitely got bigger than we wanted to be. You feel like you've done something wrong. That woman in mom jeans who'd never let me date her daughter? She likes my music. That's fucking not cool. You almost start doing damage control: When people ask you to do stuff, you're like, ‘No, because I can already tell this record is going to get to a level where people will fucking hate us.'" — Caleb Followill of Kings Of Leon. [Gatecrasher via Spin Magazine]
• "I hid out for a while, but that just drove me crazy. I got cabin fever. I was ready to make music again. It was a hard time, but I found peace in the studio." — Rihanna, on the making of her new album, Rated R. [USA Today]
• "The bottom line is, I really don't know how to relax to the degree that I could just stop. So when something comes along and is presented to me, and I think, 'Gee, I could have some fun doing that,' or 'I think I could bring something to that,' I'll do it."— Angela Lansbury, who is on Broadway in A Little Night Music with Catherine Zeta-Jones. [CBS News]
• Where do you live? "The May Fair hotel." But you must have a home somewhere? "My home is onstage." Where do you keep your things? "I have storage." Not even an apartment? "No. I don't care about those things. I tell my fans this little poem I wrote: For every minute of the day, The truth is that I'm dead, Until I'm here onstage with you -Then I'm alive instead." — from an interview with Lady Gaga. [Times Of London]
• "I'm not trying to be the girlfriend. I'm just kind of game. Often the role they send me is a man's role, written with a man in mind. But character is character; it's not about gender. Writers write these male stereotypes, and it makes it ten times more interesting if a woman says the lines." — Sigourney Weaver on the kind of roles she gets or looks for. Also, she says she once went to the White House, during the Reagan administration, when an 11-year-old Saudi Arabian prince and Ghostbusters fan had requested her presence at a dinner… he was disappointed that she didn't turn up as Zuul. [New York Mag]
• "He hissed at me yesterday. I tried to explain to him but he doesn't understand concepts such as international travel and work. He certainly doesn't understand the concept of a bikini. I am getting him a pet passport which means he can travel around as much as he likes. Unfortunately, they don't do photos. I was really looking forward to that." — Russell Brand on his cat, Morrissey. [Mirror]
• "I started auditioning here and I had the accent, the body and the attitude for the Latin woman, but they don't associate 'blond' with us. I went for a screen test, and they asked me to come with dark hair. I thought it looked better because I have darker eyebrows. So now they believe me that I'm Latin. [Laughs] I always joke that if they throw me in a chlorine pool, all my Latin is going away — my hair and my self-tanner!" — Sofia Vergara, on her role on Modern Family. She also says: "When I came to L.A., people started telling me I had to lose some weight. No one has ever told me in my life that I'm fat. Or that my breasts were too big! When I told my mother that my reps want me to get a reduction, she went crazy. 'God is going to punish you if you cut your [breasts].' …Mine are natural, so they go here and they go there and there's no dress that picks them up! When they told me to lose weight, I was like, are they playing a joke on me? I've always been known for my body! . . . . The thing is I did lose a little weight because I understand that standing next to the stick figures, I don't look as good in pictures. My friend says that the other actresses look better than me on TV because they're skinny. And I'm like, 'Yeah, but I look better naked!'" [LA Times]

[Los Angeles, December 4. Image via INFDaily.]

Natalie Portman on Marie Claire

Representative Quote:

She got to spend three months in France when she was 11, shooting The Professional, and on her days off her mother would take her to Monet's house in Giverny and encourage her to come home and paint a version of what she'd seen. When she traveled to Japan for the premiere of The Professional, her parents insisted on a week off to explore the country. Portman shrugs: "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties," she says, "and yeah, I didn't touch pot till I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college. But I think that's a good thing in many ways."

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"Diet Or Exercise: Which Sheds The Pounds Faster?"

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

275. Which is either the number of brain cells you will shed reading "WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT BONKING THE BOSS?", or the number of Fabulous Finds To Start The New Year you, mere female, will need to get him in a bonking mood.

Britney Spears on Elle

Elle's Lady Gaga cover might be getting all the attention — but the January issue is actually hitting newsstands with a second cover, featuring Spears and her sons. Golf claps for Britney, everyone! Last time she tried to do an Elle shoot, something terrible happened.

Representative Quote:

Elle's Spears profile is not yet online, so let's nab another quote from Marie Claire.

A little-known fact about Portman is that for her very first acting job — as an off-Broadway understudy — she replaced Britney Spears. Needless to say, their paths have diverged wildly since then

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"DO YOU EXERCISE TO EAT? HERE'S A BETTER WAY."

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

175. The speed, in miles per hour, which this magazine might reach if you dropped it off a very tall building. Which would be more educational than reading about the BEST NEW SHOES, JACKETS, AND BAGS.

Lady Gaga on Elle

Representative Quote:

"I get all the symptoms of a pregnant woman. I get headaches, I get tired, I get blurred vision sometimes during a really intense session with [her creative team] the Haus."

WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WOMAN IS JUST PREGNANT WITH CREATIVITY?!

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

See above.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

See above.

Sarah Jessica Parker on Glamour

Representative Quote:

SJP: I still will not wear turtlenecks.

GLAMOUR: Why not?

SJP: I feel like I'm having a panic attack in them. I'm so short that the little bit of height I have is taken and consumed by the turtleneck. My son won't wear them, either!

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"SO TRUE! Why The Happiest Women Aren't Perfect."

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

50. Could that be the number of Your Most Private Questions that you could Answer, right now, by reading Wikipedia.

Scarlett Johanson on UK Harper's Bazaar

Representative Quote:

This comes from the mouth of Bono, who is interviewed alongside Johanson, because she wears (PRODUCT) RED clothing in the accompanying fashion shoot:

"I don't give a shit how things look anymore. I just want to get the results, get the cheque signed. If it takes me looking like a totally unhip white messiah, I don't care. You do whatever it takes to get people what they need to survive. For me, it was coming home that was the hardest. Coming back to my privileged life. I used to find that really difficult. It's hard when you find yourself in such a harsh juxtaposition with somebody who's fighting for their life. It used to make me feel more awkward than it does now, being this rich rock star next to a starving African."

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

Strangely, none. (The standard beauty and fashion stories look exceptionally inoffensive, or unexceptionally offensive.) Although as hard as it is to take a half dozen pages of Johanson nursing a bad case of sexyface in leopard print clothing, it's pretty odd that the cover implies she and Bono would bond over a serious consideration of music.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

2010, which is the year you might finally itemize your charitable donations for tax purposes, and briefly consider writing off the cost of Johanson's Tom Waits album. Since listening to it was clearly an act of charity on your part.

Kate Hudson on US Harper's Bazaar

Representative Quote:

"With a hot new movie and major-league man, Kate Hudson seems anything but normal. But the bubbly blonde is just like the rest of us (with fancier clothes, of course)."

Major League! Get it? Get it? No, she really doesn't say anything about A-Rod:

Isn't she moving fast? "People don't know where I'm moving," she counters good-naturedly. "They're just reading psychobabble in these [tabloid] magazines." Even when confronted with the evidence — a picture of her kissing A-Rod — she gamely holds her ground. "There's a guy that's shooting probably 60 frames a minute. That was a sideswipe on the cheek. That wasn't even a kiss." So she's not in love with this guy? "I quickly kissed the cheek," she maintains. "And I remember one of the headlines the next day said, MAKEOUT SESSION. What is wrong with people?

Hahaha, she didn't actually specify "tabloid" magazines.

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

Harper's Bazaar on this side of the pond is totally deficient in this category, too. "Get Gorgeous Hair" — much as our credulity doesn't stretch to believing such a thing could ever result from the use of ridiculously priced products — just doesn't raise my hackles.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

562. Either New Ideas to Update Your Look (again!), or Things You Might Make If You Treated This Issue Like An Origami Project.

• Chris Brown will not be singing on Good Morning America next week as scheduled. He will, however, "come clean" in a primetime interview about what happened the night he assaulted former girlfriend Rhianna. [NY Post]

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have not, repeat NOT split up. Says a rep for Witherspoon. A person who, a year or so ago, probably would not have confirmed the two were together. [Us Magazine]
• Meanwhile, "in the wake of infidelity rumors," Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are about to spend time apart: She will be working on a musical in the US and then filming a movie in Germany. Will the marriage survive?!?!? [UPI]
• Britney Spears allegedly proposed to her boyfriend, Jason Trawick, only to have him reject the offer. Allegedly. This made her "furious," so she (allegedly) "banished" Jason from Australia, where she is on tour. [MTV.com.au]
• Perez Hilton has written a second book, in which he claims that Drew Barrymore is "always fucked up" and is "not the sober kitten that the main public may think she is." In addition, he claims that "someone" tips off the photogs when Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want to show the world pictures of themselves together. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite an apparent suicide note via Twitter, Michael Lohan is not dead, did not try to kill himself and the Twitter account saying so is not even his. [Gawker]
• Meryl Streep is on the cover of Vanity Fair and says: "It's incredible-I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave." Director Mike Nichols claims: "She broke the glass ceiling of an older woman being a big star-it has never, never happened before." [Vanity Fair]
• Rachel Uchitel, who is being called Tiger Woods' alleged mistress (as we learned in Midweek Madness, Star magazine alleges Uchitel has been sexting Tiger) is working with famed lawyer Gloria Allred now and the two are "deciding" what the next step will be. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel says: "I did not have any involvement with him [Woods]. Whatever was written in the Enquirer was not said by me, it was said by two people that claimed they were friends of mine but they're not." [E!]
• Tiger Woods canceled a meeting with the Florida Highway Patrol. [TMZ]
• The FHP is trying to obtain a search warrant to seize medical records from the hospital which treated Tiger Woods. The idea is to find out if his injuries were from car accident or domestic violence; some reports claim that his wife followed him out of the house and struck his moving car with a gold club, causing him to hit a fire hydrant and tree. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt's "Make It Right" homes in New Orleans are getting mixed reviews. Some people feel that the architecture is not grounded in the history of New Orleans and that the houses can be "alien, sometimes even insulting," [PopEater]
• Michael Jackson's enormous debt may be paid off, thanks to the music royalties and box-office bonanza from This Is It. [Daily Express]
• Mary Murphy wants Tom Cruise to be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance, and Katie Holmes says: "He would be great. He really would." It'll happen, if Xenu wills it so! [E!]
• Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz sped away from a stampede via motorcycle in Cadiz, Spain yesterday — it was a scene was for their flick Knight & Day, but the stampede was real. [NY Post]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach was busted for DUI Saturday night. Bail was set at $15,000; Bach was released on her own recognizance and attended an AA meeting yesterday. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, David Hasselhoff was under an involuntary psychiatric hold at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over the weekend after drinking a "large amount of alcohol." [Radar Online]
• Except: David Hasselhoff's lawyer denies that David was on a psych hold: "David's at home. He's fine. I'm not sure where that information is coming from." [E!]
• Rumor has it Kate Moss is sick of the "media glare" in the UK and may move to New York or Paris, where, as you may know, there are absolutely no paparazzi or tabloids. [Daily Mail]
• After a record-breaking opening weekend, New Moon's ticket sales dropped nearly 70% from Friday to Sunday. Somehow, The Blind Side is doing really well. [Us Magazine]
• Rihanna says: "I haven't been in touch with my dad for a year and a half... by his choice. He came on tour and acted a mess. We sent him home and after that he didn't answer my calls." Her dad says: "I leave messages for her but I never hear back. I want nothing more in this world than to see my daughter again and to be part of her life." And: "I'm sorry and I love you." A page from the MIchael Lohan book of child/parent communication! [Mirror]
• Taylor Momsen does that sullen, insomniac teen thing so well in the new Japanese edition of NyLon. [ONTD]
• Congrats to Tom Arnold, who was married for the fourth time in Hawaii on Saturday. The lady's name is Ashley Groussman and the wedding had an Asian theme; the couple chanted a Buddhist prayer after exchanging rings. [Us Magazine]
• You know, if we're not supposed to be admiring the physique of 17-year-old Taylor Lautner, then stop shooting slo-mo video of his biceps. Jeez. [Rolling Stone]
• Taylor Lautner says that once Jamie Foxx approached him and said, "Hey, my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan. Is there any way I can get a picture with you? I'm Jamie Foxx." To which Taylor replied: "Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?" [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently Jon Gosselin tweeted that he was going to his grandma's for Thanksgiving, but Hailey Glassman tweeted: "LOL-U are in Utah snowboarding w/ ‘friends'-lol-ur redic." [Gatecrasher]
• When Tila Tequila performs, she demands that there be 20 cans of Red Bull on hand "at all times." Healthy! [Page Six]
• When Simon Cowell's X Factor comes to the US, the contestants will be vying for a chance to sing in Las Vegas. [NY Post]
• According to a police report, in early November, Anthony Michael Hall "bit his girlfriend's forehead" and "pushed, shoved and spit at" her during a fight in her apartment. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Hugh Laurie has a black eye, obtained while boxing. [Daily Express]
• Seriously, I can't believe that thieves transferred more than £200,000 from Ricky Gervais's bank account — using a fake passport with a picture of Gervais playing David Brent cut from a DVD of The Office. Insane. [Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's album is at the top of the UK charts. [NY Post]
• "The brother of Susan Boyle said U.S. actress Kathy Bates should portray his sister in a film about the amateur Scottish singer's life." [UPI]
• Michael Kenneth Williams, aka Omar from The Wire, plays a thief in The Road. He says he was Method acting for the role: "I followed Viggo [Mortensen]'s cues. We didn't wash, we didn't cut our hair. No grooming. I smelled. I reeked." And! He'll be in a new HBO crime drama produced by Martin Scorsese. He says: "I'm not afraid of typecasting; I'm afraid of not eating." [NY Mag]
• Welcome to the digital age, Bill Cosby! Congrats on your new website, Facebook account, Twitter account and Flickr account. [NY Times]
• "Jay Leno Losing His Audience To DVR Machines." [AP]
• "I wanted to be on the edge of personal space that is shy of violating a person's privacy but close enough to suggest intimacy. I was trusting my intuition from my past [talk show] experience when I'd ask myself, why is this desk in between me and the person I'm talking to?" — William Shatner has a special face-to-face couch on his Raw Nerve show on Bio. [NY Post]
• "I don't want to be any kind of a happy couple with a photograph on the television set. I find it embarrassing. You have to get involved with other people's relatives and great aunt Bessies and all of that — and I'd rather not. I'm 50 years old now and a pattern emerges and I accept that and I don't mind at all." — Morrissey. At the link, check out Moz's Desert Island Discs: New York Dolls, Ramones, Iggy and the Stooges. [Guardian]
• "I've become a bit of a gym person. I feel apologetic about it because it looks a little uncool, but I like to have an appointment every day. Plus it's the only time I watch TV." — Claire Danes. [Times of London]
• "Whilst we press politicians to pass global laws to reduce carbon emissions, we should not forget our individual capacity to act in ways that will help to fight climate change - such as limiting the eating of meat. Having one designated meat-free day a week is a meaningful change that everyone can make." — Paul McCartney. [BBC News]
• "From the '93 case — they accused him of just the most horrible things. This kid's father has committed suicide because he just couldn't take it, and now the kid has come forth and said, Michael never touched him." — Jermaine Jackson, on Evan Chandler, who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing his son Jordy. [OMG via Access Hollywood]
• "I read once that Alexander the Great would've not been great, that great, if he would've not traveled with the historians who documented his multiple battles and his victories. So documenting your work is important, making sure that the work, if it's well done, if you put many hours and effort and energy into that, that it does its job, that it's presented the right way. And that's when you make sure that you're surrounded by intelligent people who can also contribute to your career in great ways… You can't win a battle if you don't have the right army behind you." — Shakira. [LA Times]
• "I definitely believe in the possibility of intelligent life on other planets. There's just so much space out there to not believe in that. For me, the idea with this movie is to be open to change. You should be accepting of change because, only through change, can you grow and learn more about yourself, as a human or alien." — Jessica Biel, who voices an alien in Planet 51. [Independent]
• "I like me better naked. I don't mean that in a vain way… When you put clothes on, you immediately put a character on. Clothes are adjectives, they are indicators. When you don't have any clothes on, it's just you, raw, and you can't hide." — Padma Lakshmi. [Page Six]
• "The word gay has become used as a derogatory term and this is something which education can help to resolve. Either that or we choose another word to describe ourselves. I rather like another G word – glorious." — Ian McKellen. [Daily Express]
• "The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, 'You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.' And I was like, 'What the fuck … are you talking about?' But from that point on, I thought, Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied." — Donald Glover, who quit 30 Rock before being cast on Community. [NY Mag]
• "Every woman should have naked pictures taken. In five years my body might not look like this! I've always been borderline raunchy and a little sexy. But sexy at 19 and sexy at 21 is two different things. I'm just having fun. When naked pictures I'd sent to a boyfriend were leaked this year I was so nervous and embarrassed that my mom was going to see them. But she reacted in the most surprising way. She just sent me a text saying, 'You're an adult now.' Basically saying, 'Welcome to the real world.' She says I'm a woman now so I have to handle things like an adult." — Rihanna. [The Sun]
• "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing." — Meryl Streep. [Page Six]

Ok!
"Oops, I Did It Again!"
Justin Trawick was tucking in Britney's boys when Sean blurted out, "Good night, daddy!" Britney's heart "simply melted," says a source. It was then that she realized how good a father and husband he would be! Britney wants a "real" wedding this time — the white dress and the wedding cake — but she doesn't want it to be a spectacle, says a "friend." The mag says Britney and Jason will wed on the beach in Costa Rica, Hawaii, Mexico or Australia, which really narrows it down! Brit will fly in 200 guests, including Madonna, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Also, Britney is hoping "Jason can give her something else she's never had: A baby girl." Next: A source says that Jennifer Aniston will only date guys who are approved by her close friends, and she has rules: He has to be over 40, never married, no children, not a player, not a musician and not an actor. Producers are ok, as are writers and directors. But he has to be financially stable and emotionally stable. Finally: Robert Pattinson has a Christmas "surprise" for Kristen Stewart: He's planning a secret getaway to a cottage in the English countryside; then they'll spend Christmas in London with his parents.
Grade: F (stress fracture)

In Touch
"Katie Moves Out."
Katie's been telling Tom that she needs her space, but he keeps showing up to the set of The Romantics on Long Island. They had a fight in her trailer, and she said she's had it with his domineering ways and can no longer relate to his movie-star lifestyle. (?!?!) She's decided to stay in New York alone after the movie wraps. Tom was furious — they'd talked about purchasing a home in NY but Tom had never considered the idea of Katie living there alone. Katie's "embracing" their differences by shopping at the Gap instead of the designer boutiques her husband prefers — and hanging out with her parents, who don't like Tom. Two awesomely ridiculous sidebars: "Does Katie Have The Dawson's Creek Love Curse?" and "Tom's Exes Have Broken Free." (See image 7.) Moving on: "Celebrity Cellulite Wars" alleges that Rihanna and Beyoncé are "constantly pitted against each other." Now Beyoncé is "getting her revenge" because Rihanna "has embarrassing cellulite" while Beyoncé is "smooth and sexy." The copy declares: "Rihanna was spotted with lumpy thighs. It's been a rough year all around." Angelina Jolie is "ruining the holidays" by informing Brad that she plans on taking their six children to Vietnam. The accompanying caption reads, "No yams in Ho Chi Min city." Sob! Angie says she won't go to Brad's parents' house in Missouri because they don't get along. Brad's mom is "always telling Angie that the kids should be in school, and have a routine, and that they look messy." Also, when he's with his parents, Brad gets lazy — he lets them take care of the kids and "just sits around drinking beer." Brad and Angie had a fight about all this stuff, so he packed his bags and headed for the chateau in France, but as soon as he got there, Angie called and begged him to come home, "confused and trapped in a dysfunctional cycle of fighting viciously and making up, he agreed," an insider says. Next: A two-page story breaks down John Mayer's lyrics from his new album to illustrate how he's dissing Jessica and Jen. The song "Half Of My Heart" is about how John only loved Jessica with half of his heart — the part that liked her hot body! In Nicole Richie news, she has pneumonia, but hasn't been feeling great since she gave birth to Sparrow, is having a tough time handling two kids, fainted once and is too thin. "Their Real Bodies Revealed" features the freaky physical problems of the stars: Megan's "clubbed" thumbs! Denzel Washington's crooked pinky! Etc. (See image 8.) Finally, the best part of this magazine was a picture of Willow, an English terrier mix, reading My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem, a book by the rapper's mother. (See image 9.)
Grade: D- (plantar fasciitis)

Us
"Stuck On Mr. Wrong."
So basically Jennifer Aniston "can't let go" of John Mayer — there's something about him she can't resist. But John is "still in love with" Jessica Simpson. "He can't get over her — all of his friends don't get it." This despite the fact that John used to make fun of Jess — putting the phone down when she'd call and walking away while she rambled. When it comes to the ladies, John has system: "He charms them for weeks over e-mail, impresses with his intellect, and seals the deal with his prowess in bed." Jessica loved how John would educate her about music and life, and would listen like love-struck schoolgirl." Moving right along: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were at dinner party, when Tom turned to Katie and asked, "Where did you go to college? You went to Columbia, right?" Katie had to say: "I got into Columbia but I never went." Awkward! Ashlee Simpson spent over $20,00 on Pete Wentz's credit card and acted like it was nothing; "he's over it." Robert Pattinson has "secret demons" — Margaret thought he maybe killed a man or something, but no: "He's so unhappy," a source says. "He's grateful for the success, but it'd be great if he could just walk away from it all now. He feels completely trapped!" Lastly: Celebrities with shaggy bangs are clearly inspired by canines. (See image 10.)
Grade: D- (bunions)

Star
"48 Best And Worst Holiday Beach Bodies"
What's the difference between a regular beach body and a holiday beach body? Guess Star is hoping Americans waiting in airports and train stations this weekend want to know. There are 17 pages of male and female celebrities in swimwear. FYI: America Ferrera has "killer curves" and Jennifer Lopez has a "big red caboose." Kelly Bensimon has "patches of crepey skin" and Ryan Seacrest has a "jelly belly." Moving on: Joanna Krupa changed her implants, says a plastic surgeon who doesn't treat her (See image 11.) Taylor Lautner gave Taylor Swift a $200 sterling silver heart "commitment" ring from Tiffany. Blind item! "Which sexy celebrity chef was overheard bragging loudly about her fling with a famous singer? The crooner's known for lovin' and leavin', but she has a clueless husband. Burn!" Snoop Dogg almost didn't ring the bell at the NYSE — he slept through his alarm! Britney's kids drew all over the walls of her home, causing thousands of dollars in damage, but instead of teaching them to draw on paper, she put up plain wallpaper and let them go at it, because she wants them to explore their creativity. "Inside Jen & John's Twisted Romance" alleges that Jennifer Aniston planned her trip to Cabo for the two of them — but John Mayer never showed up. In October, she flew to NYC to visit him, only to have him ignore her calls for 3 days. "She was just waiting in her hotel room," an insider says. Then she flew home broken-hearted. "One minute he'll tell her he's not feeling in, and then the same night, he'll drunk dial her, telling her she's the love of his life. He tells her they're star-crossed lovers, and their romance is like a Greek tragedy." Who gets to poke out their eyes? Once Jen found a lacy thong in his bedroom, but John said it was hers. They argued about it, a source says, and "finally she gave up and said it might actually be hers — it's as if he has the power to brainwash her." And "After he flaked out on her in Mexico, she started emailing him photos of herself in a bikini and writing stupid stuff in the subject line, like "2 good 4 u." Next: Beyoncé and Jay-Z have been "working overtime" to conceive a child but have not had any luck, and Beyoncé is heartbroken. Shauna Sand says Chace Crawford was her "teen lover." She's 14 years older and says four years ago when he was 18, they had a "steamy, sex-filled romance." He was a virgin when they met and the first night he came over, she checked his ID to make sure he was really 18. When they first started hooking up, she had to show him a thing or two, but by the end, they were having "wild" sex with whipped cream and so on. Is Tiger Woods cheating on his wife with someone named Rachel Uchitel? They met in May and have been sexting. Allegedly. Teresa Guidice from RHONJ was filming a guest spot on Mercy and could barely remember her lines and kept cursing. When someone asked if she was the housewife who flipped a table, she said: "Don't effing bring that up." Carey Mulligan's best friend Keira Knightley has become a "La Beouf-blocker." Carey told Shia that Keira warned her that he's a player, which enraged Shia, because he's really genuine. Finally: Nicole Richie is in talks to star with Joel Madden on an at-home talk show where Nicole's famous friends pop by to be interviewed by the couple. She's turned down roles because she doesn't want to be away from her kids, but this way, she'd work from home.
Grade: D (corns)

Life & Style
"It's On!"
The editors of this magazine got a draft of the script for The Tourist, a new flick that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp have signed on for. And there are sexy scenes! For instance: "The outline of her naked body is visible in the shower," the script teases. "Frank walks to the shower and opens the glass door. Walking in, he lifts Kara against the glass, clutching at her slithery body, kissing her frantically. She kisses him back with ardor, wrapping her dripping legs around his back." Since Angie has hooked up with costars before (Jenny Shimuzu, Jonny Lee Miller, Billy Bob Thornton, maybe Colin Farrell, definitely Brad Pitt), and they're both Geminis, it is clear that they MUST fuck while filming. There's a great sidebar about how Angie and Johnny have so much in common: They both love France! Their kids love Pirates! (See .) Next: Janet Jackson has talked to ABC's Robin Roberts why she gained 60 lbs: "There are people that — if there's something that's stressful, whatever it may be, they don't eat. I'm the opposite." She discusses this in her upcoming book True You, which will be released in 2010. She told Robin: "It was originally about weight loss, but I wanted it to be more about my triggers. [My emotional eating] started when I was very little. My brothers were gone on tour a lot, and I would miss them so much. I wish I had a book like this when I was that young." Moving on, Lindsay Lohan is in counseling. She goes two or three times a week, and it's not a program or substance abuse thing, or a police officer watching her. It's someone to talk to in a confidential setting. A friend says: "Her problems are all about Daddy. If Lindsay had a stable dad, none of this would be happening." And this is an actual sentence in the magazine:

"Is seeing a therapist twice a week enough? All I can say is maybe," says Marc F. Kern, an addiction specialist in Beverly Hills who doesn't treat Lindsay.

In a sidebar, we learn that Lindsay posed for pictures for an upcoming issue of the French magazine Purple in which she's topless and simulating a threesome with a male model and a female model — the guy is lying on top of her. Is it a ploy to make Sam Ronson jealous? America's Next Top Model Nicole Fox says: "If there is any opportunity for me to model — I'll take the job." Lastly: Check out these weird courtroom sketches of Nicole RIchie, Amy Winehouse and Paris Hilton. (See image 13.)
Grade: D+ (callouses)

From In Touch

From In Touch

From In Touch

From Us

From Star

From Life & Style

From Life & Style

• Courtney Love is making vicious accusations via Facebook, and both Edward Norton and Britney Spears are involved.

In one message, Courtney writes (and consider there to be a giant [sic] after everything):

IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn't have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor … i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k

As for Britney, Courtney says:

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.

Um… yeah. Shit. Speechless. [Movieline]

• In other news, Courtney Love to her band to a strip club and left them there. [Page Six]
• We've heard Britney Spears wants to get married again, but have we heard this? A source says: "She is in love with the idea of marriage. She has been married only twice, but has proposed to many more." [MSNBC via News.com.au]
• The White House state dinner was star-studded! In attendance: Producers David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg, directors Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shyamalan, actor Blair Underwood and actress Alfre Woodward. Plus: Deepak Chopra and journalists Sanjay Gupta, Katie Couric, Fareed Zakaria, Robin Roberts and Brian Williams. And Jennifer Hudson performed! My last dinner party involved plastic cups and white zinfandel. [UPI]
• If something is really good, Rihanna calls it "barf." "Usually it's ‘ill' or ‘I want to throw up on it," she says. "But barf is the worst," meaning the best. "Barf is 10 out of 10." [NY Times]
• Damn: Rihanna is getting paid $500,000 to to perform at a New Year's Eve party at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi. Can she wear that white Fifth Element bandage jumpsuit in the UAE? [Page Six]
• Things are heating up between Emma Watson and her Spanish rock star. [Telegraph]
• Usher is dating a record exec — named Grace Miguel — who used to work at the label he's signed to. And, shocker! Grace and Usher's mom, Jonetta, do not get along. Sound familiar? The same thing happened with Usher's wife, Tameka Foster. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a happy Thanksgiving: Ellen DeGeneres gave an out-of-work mom from the Bronx $10,000 and a new car. [NY Daily News]
• Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars. Then there was a fire on the set. [People]
• DWTS judge Carrie Ann Inaba is having surgery: "I have arthritis. The space around my spinal cord has become compressed," Inaba explains. "I have been locked. My neck was so stiff. We're hoping this procedure will relieve that." [People]
• The pyramid design of Lady Gaga's Heartbeats headphones was inspired by her fashion choices when growing up: "I wore studded leather jackets, me and my friends in New York. Lifestyle, grit, passion and love for music, freedom. These were the things I thought about when we were designing [the headphones]." [People]
• Beyoncé just finished her tour, and told the crowd at her last stop — in Nottingham, England — that she hopes to see them all in a year with a new album. Work work work! [Reuters]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, admits he's tried to sell footage of himself and La Lopez from their time together, but it's not sleazy: "They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it. My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity-maybe one spanking. There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me." [E!]
• Congrats to Alan Cumming, who was made an Office of the British Empire at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday. The Scottish-born actor and gay rights advocate reportedly dressed in tartan head-to-toe for the occasion. Must find pix! [UPI]
• American Idol season 3 contestant Jon Peter Lewis (who?) has issues with Adam Lambert's AMA performance: "All this nonsense about Adam Lambert's whole project being art is bogus. That idea is absurd. It's like calling Thomas Kinkade art. What a sham." [Us Magazine]
• Melissa Etheridge has advice for Adam Lambert: "Don't believe everything they say. Stay true to yourself. The only person who can answer what you should do is  yourself. Love yourself. You will hear as many people praise you as you will hear them tear you down." [E!]
• Rosie O'Donnell was asked if she's enjoying the single life. She replied: "I'm not." [NY Daily News]
• Would you like to see a picture of the Real Housewives Of NYC frolicking in the Virgin Islands? [NY Post]
• "A million fans are being invited to take part in the composition of a pointillist portrait of the late U.S. pop icon Michael Jackson… The project has the blessing of Jackson's brother, Jermaine." [UPI]
• The Official Michael Jackson Opus book is 26 lbs., 400 pages and $249. [The Life Files]
• Julie Andrews will play London's O2 arena, and the venerable Clive Davis writes: "Whether or not Andrews's voice is the flawless multi-octave instrument that it once was, she has always been a consummate professional… Besides, legends are in short supply at the moment." [The Times Of London]
• Transformers director Michael Bay hosted a reunion of the show's cast and crew the other night in NYC, and Megan Fox did not attend. [Page Six]
• Amber Rose asked a stranger in a bathroom to zip up the back of her dress for her, saying: . "I have a hard time staying in this thing, but Kanye loves it." [Page Six]
• The new Miss California, Nicole Johnson, says she once dated Michael Phelps. And! Phelps may have dated Carrie Prejean as well. [TMZ]
• "A nude photo of film director Roman Polanski, who is now being held in a Swiss prison, and his wife Sharon Tate taken shortly before she was brutally murdered, will be sold at an upcoming auction where it could fetch more than $10,000, organizers said." [Reuters]
• Avril Lavigne was seen "passionately making out with a mystery man" in NYC Tuesday night. She was seen with Wilmer Valderrama over the weekend… Maybe divorce makes you horny? [Radar Online]
• The Pussycat Dolls have broken up and no one is speaking to Nicole Scherzinger, if you care. [Page Six]
• "Nellie McKay has three loves - animals, the Poconos, and Doris Day." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Cagefighter's mummy: Nasty Jordan has been horrid to my little Alex." [The Sun]
• "She's a remarkable story… But you're on air every day. Eventually you think, 'do people really want to hear me talk anymore?'" — Phil Donahue, on Oprah ending her show. [Page Six]
• "Wait … is that Zac Posen? Wow." — Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]
• Ten years ago I wouldn't have thought about having any children at all. [But do I want some?] Yes, yes, yes. I haven't given up hope. I find I'm not as bad with children as I used to be. I see a lot of children are over-parented now, over-adored and over-spoiled. I quite like children to be left alone to get on with it." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "I think a show like this probably couldn't have happened five years ago, but I think with the success of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance and other movie musicals, like Hairspray, Chicago and Nine that's coming up, they set the groundwork for people to accept it and being excited about it. I think we're putting a different twist on it to make it fun and interesting and kind of cool." — Glee's Matthew Morrison. [CNN]
• "You know that devil on your shoulder that tells you terrible things about people and of course you'd never say 'maybe you don't really believe.' She has no filter, and it just comes right out. So I'm a nice person after I leave Glee because I get to exercise the heinous behavior while I'm in a track suit yelling at defenseless children." — Jane Lynch. [CNN]
• "As traumatic and as terrifying as it was — and sometimes I wish it never happened — my whole life changed in the most amazing way after I went through that. If I didn't go through that, I swear, you would've been interviewing a completely different person." — Rihanna, on being assaulted by Chris Brown. [NY Times]
• "Everyone wanted me to see a therapist to just talk about it, and I refused. In Barbados we don't do that. We keep it in our family, and figure it out and move on. I just put my game face on and went on with my life. But deep down inside I had some things to get past, and it came out in the music." — Rihanna. [NY Times]

• 'Sup Twihards? This column alleges Robert Pattinson is a "hot property" thanks to New Moon's record-breaking box office this weekend…

The flick sold more tix on opening day than The Dark Knight did last year. Personally, I don't think the Sparkle Vamp did it all alone: The story, KStew, and the Buff Werewolf deserve part of the blame credit. [Daily Mail]

• Fans pretended they were guests of the Bowery Hotel so they could catch a glimpse of Robert Pattinson drinking in the hotel bar. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite being painfully tedious, New Moon earned $140.7 million during its first three days of release in the US and Canada, and is now third behind The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 2 in terms of record opening weekends. [Reuters]
• Sandra Bullock had a big weekend as well: The Blind Side made about $34.5 million, the best opening of her career — just over The Proposal's $33.6 million weekend. [ONTD via Entertainment Weekly]
• Last night at the AMAs, Michael Jackson won four, but Taylor Swift walked away with six, including artists of the year. [USA Today]
• This piece claims that Miley Cyrus' '80s-themed 17th birthday bash was a surprise party, but didn't we hear that she wore a Pretty Woman ensemble? She must have been tipped off. [People]
• What kind of fuckery is this? Amy Winehouse proposed to Blake Fielder Civil? And he said yes? Blaaaaake allegedly told a source: "We've been talking on the phone five or six times a day. On Friday she told me she was going to put the engagement ring [I gave her the first time around] on. We'd changed our status to married on Facebook a couple of weeks back but that was more of a laugh. This is the real deal. She told me she wanted to get married again. I feel so happy." [News Of The World]
• Lindsay Lohan allegedly wanted to pick up a bunch of stuff from trendy LA store Kitson — without paying. A source says it's ridiculous, especially since the store carries her 6126 leggings line: "We're actually really offended. The tables have turned and now we're the customer. We spent $50,000 on her leggings line, but she hasn't come to the store in three years, and she didn't even do a personal appearance. She should have brought cookies for the staff to thank them for selling her leggings because she does nothing. We don't know if we'll continue to carry them." [Daily Express]
• Britney Spears invited several girls from a children's hospital backstage before a show in Sydney, Australia. A nice gesture, and also an attempt to get the lip-sync stories out of the news? [Radar Online]
• Seven bulls being used in the Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz movie Knight & Day (previously titled Wichita) escaped and ran through the streets of Cadiz, Spain. Two people were hurt as the bulls headed for the beach. [EW]
• Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson, Pierce Brosnan and Neil Patrick Harris attended the 2009 CNN Heroes Awards, honoring people who make a difference in the lives of others. [NY Daily News]
• If you watch Jude Law do yoga on the balcony of his apartment, he will throw oranges at you. You've been warned. [Just Jared]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: Back on? They were spotted out at a club doing shots, holding hands, acting cozy, etc. [Gatecrasher]
• Are Jude Law and Colin Farrell better as supporting actors? [NY Mag]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin had an all-day mediation hearing in Pennsylvania on Saturday, and Jon "didn't dispute Kate having primary custody of the kids," according to a source. Jon showed up with a bouquet of roses, which Kate refused to take: "In what should have been their most serious moment as a couple," says the source, "Jon again resorted to a publicity stunt." [People, Us]
• Heidi Klum's request to become Heidi Samuel: Approved. [NY Daily News]
• Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson celebrated Bronx Mowgli's first birthday with a bouncehouse, a cake and someone dressed as SpongeBob. And, presumably: Flatirons; eyeliner. [People]
• LOL: "Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe defended by Draco Malfoy in cannabis row." [Telegraph]
• Eyeroll: Lauren Conrad has a style book coming out next fall. [NY Daily News]
• The Discovery Channel is psyched to be partnering with Oprah in her attempts to create OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network. [UPI]
• At the link, quotes from Ellen DeGeneres, Gayle King and Martha Stewart about Oprah and her decision to end her show; Gayle says: "Oprah always makes the best decision for herself… And I have a feeling she will come up with some things to do. We don't need to worry about her filling her time, I promise you that." [NY Daily News]
• Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton are expecting their first child in May and have already picked names: "We like Julian if it's a boy and Isabella if it's a girl," he says. Personally I think it's weird (possibly unlucky) to name so early… and to tell People. Thoughts? [People]
• Meg Ryan and Nip/Tuck's Julian McMahon? Going on dates? He's Australian, like Russell Crowe, with whom Meg allegedly had an affair, thus ending her marriage to Dennis Quaid. Oh, and McMahon maybe has a girlfriend. [News.com.au]
• Investigators found a receipt showing that Dr. Conrad Murray purchased propofol on May 12 and administered doses from that batch to Michael Jackson in the hours before his death on June 25. [NY Post]
• Gwen Stefani and Jon Bon Jovi are suing ally's Saloon and Eatery in Minneapolis, Minnesota for playing their songs without the proper music license. (?!?!) [Daily Express]
• U2 will headline the Glastonbury festival on Friday night. [The Sun]
• Aerosmith is not looking for a new lead singer, despite reports to the contrary. [UPI]
• Levi Johnston's mom: Going to jail on an intent to distribute OxyContin charge. [NY Post]
• This column asks if Leona Lewis will have Titanic-style success with her theme song for James Cameron's Avatar, but I doubt the movie will enjoy Titanic-style adoration. [LA Times]
• Robbie Williams is looking for investors, if you have $83 mil. [Reuters]
• Creed's Scott Stapp tells Spin magazine there's no actual sex in his 1999 sex tape. You know, the one where he and Kid Rock were on a bus with groupies and received oral sex? [Page Six]
• Jenna Ushkowitz, aka "Goth girl Tina Cohen-Chang" on Glee, says the whole cast is close: "It's disgusting how much we all really love each other." [NY Post]
• Major eyeroll: Carrie Prejean's brother says, "I'm all the way against gay marriage. I don't feel that it's right that a man and a man should raise a kid." [Radar Online]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Personal girlcrush Monica Bellucci is three months pregnant. (Her husband, Vincent Cassel, is easy on the eyes as well.) [ONTD via MediaFax]
• Rachael Ray gave Diddy a diamond cuff for his birthday. [Page Six]
• Q. You're 45 and dating very attractive 26-year-old Hollywood actress Amber Tamblyn. Do you give hope to baldies everywhere?
  A: "If you want to use me as an example, sure. But I think it would be a false hope. It's certainly not my looks that are reeling in the ladies. It's more about my completely average-sized cock. — David Cross. [Guardian]
• "British TV personality David Frost will be honored at the 37th Annual International Emmy Awards for a wide-ranging career that has taken him from pioneering political satire on television to conducting serious interviews with former President Richard Nixon and other newsmakers." [NY Times]
• Skater Tai Babilonia will wear skates, a tiny flesh-coloredthing and a sign across her chest while gliding through Rockefeller Center's ice rink for PETA's "Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign. [Page Six]
• "A Canadian man has admitted shoving Noel Gallagher at an Oasis concert in Toronto in September 2008, claiming he was drunk at the time." [Guardian]
• Whatshername quit I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. [Daily Mail]
• "Fuck them, what else can I say? Why doesn't that little bitch that wrote that try and write a song — which they wont be able to do and that's why they're sitting behind their little computer, eating their little chips and writing that hateful shit — why don't they write their own song and see what they can come up with?" — Michael Bublé, on a journalist who described his music as being as "cheesy as a quesadilla." [News.com.au]
• "People always compliment me on my performance in the movie, but I cannot take credit for it at all because I truly had no idea what the film was about." — Christina Ricci on The Ice Storm. [Gatecrasher]
• "Age is no issue to me. Fifty is the new 30. Seventy is the new 50. There are no rules that say you have to dress a certain way, or be a certain way. We are living in exciting times for women. Keep up with fashion, keep up with your figure and the clothes you wear. If you look good and you can still do it, then go and do it. I have never worried about age. I am vain. When I look in the mirror, I want to look good to myself. I'm kind of OK with how I'm ageing." — Tina Turner. [Daily Express]
• "We've seen female pop and rock performers do that for the last 10 years. They've been very provocative, owning their power and sexuality. You just don't see men doing it very often. And I'm hoping to break down that double standard with this number." — Adam Lambert on his performance in which "he thrusts a leather-clad male backup dancer's face toward his crotch, and later flashes a knowing smile as he strokes the same dancer's cheek after plowing through a door that swings both ways." [AP]
• "Obama's best material during the campaign was cherry-picked from the things Kucinich had been talking about for a long time. And Kucinich continues to be really the people's congressman. He is the one with the most conscience regarding health care, the banking issue, the bailout. He's the guy who said we should not go into Iraq, and was called a traitor for it. He was a guy who said, 'This Patriot Act is not a good thing, we should not vote for it.' Even people in his own party were saying, 'Why do you say that?' And he says, 'Because I read it,' and there was silence. 'Cause none of them had read it. They just voted yes because they were told to. Same with health care stuff." — Viggo Mortensen. [Mother Jones]
• "I had a girl faint on me. And then the criers. And then the cougars-the Twi-Moms-always come after us. That's been very surreal, because we've had phone numbers slipped in our back pockets. It's like we're The Beatles." — Chaske Spencer, aka New Moon's wolf pack leader Sam Uley. [EW]
• "During World War II, when money was tight, everything was rationed and the most basic commodities impossible to find, women went out of their way to look as attractive as possible… They always wore red lipstick and would melt remnants into tiny containers so as not to waste any, then use a brush to apply it with great care.… here we are in the middle of yet another great recession, depression, slump - whatever our politicians care to call it - and money is tighter than an 18th-century corset. Women still need to cheer themselves up, so what better way to do it than to decorate their faces? I believe that 90 per cent of women can look prettier, healthier and happier in red lipstick, the only disadvantage being that it can leave its mark on a friend's cheek… What better way to face the world than with a perfect face, great hair and good nails? And for those critics who pooh-pooh this idea, let me say to them: just try it. It works - I know it does." — from a column written by Joan Collins. [Daily Mail]
• "I am really in love. I am really happy. Chivalry, opening doors for a woman. It is a big thing. My boyfriend still takes me out for dinner every week. He won't tell me where we are going. He puts on a suit and just takes me out and treats me like a lady." — Lily Allen. [Daily Mail]
• "As an English actress, you have to don a bonnet at some point. This was my time. There was a tsunami of women behind me wanting the role, so I sort of bullied myself in. Many period films are very arch and stiff, and I don't respond to the characters. If I see 'the rebellious English rose' in stage directions, I'm already bored. But this was a girl who was willing to expose herself to the world. That was what was different for me." — Emily Blunt. [NY Mag]
• "I mean, 75 years. That's a long time. [The black experience] is a major part of the story of America. And Disney is excited about telling it. I'm deeply honored to be involved. On the flip side of that, it's not a black movie. It's a movie that has a young black woman as the title character, but it's a story for everyone. I think that anybody can look at this movie and say, 'I remember when I was yearning for something and it was so difficult and I had to work so hard.' That's the beautiful thing about it - it's so inclusive." — Anika Noni Rose on The Princess And The Frog. [NY Daily News]
• "There are certain expressions lifted right off of my face… When she's smiling, she lights up the screen. She has my nose. There's a certain scene toward the end where she has a change in hairdo, in a fantasy sequence, where she looks dead-on." — Anika Noni Rose on Tiana in The Princess And The Frog. [NY Daily News]
• "Pam is due to have her baby in February. I don't know what it is. It's going to be a surprise. There have been a lot of discussions about it but no decision has been made yet. So it's really like a real pregnancy. I think we're going to find out when they write it. What I'm having. It should be really interesting… I don't know if it's that she has chosen not to, but they've chosen not to reveal it. I don't know if you've noticed, but she's always referring to her baby as, like, in things that are not gender-specific." — Jenna Fischer, aka Pam on The Office. [Pop Eater]

• Last night, one of the four buses in Miley Cyrus' tour caravan swerved off the road in Virginia and crashed. The driver was killed, and one other person was injured.

• It's unclear if the driver died in the crash, or if he died at the wheel, causing the accident. Miley's personal bus was not involved in the accident and the concert they were heading to in North Carolina is still on. [TMZ, TMZ]
• This statement was posted on Miley Cyrus' website: "We are deeply saddened by the loss of Bill 'Uncle Bill' Douglas... Members of our tour are like members of our family. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family in the midst of this tragedy. He will truly be missed." [People]
• A judge threw out a case filed by an Asian woman named Lucie Kim on behalf of Asian-Americans in L.A. against Miley Cyrus for making squinty eyes in a photo. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan claims he has a contract that could be the "smoking gun" in TLC's case against Jon Gosselin. Lohan says it's a contract between himself, Gosselin, Mike Heller (the son of Jon's lawyer) and Hailey Glassman, which led to Jon being paid for outside appearances that violated his TLC deal, even though it's unsigned. [Radar Online]
• The good news: The final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will air on Monday. Jon and Kate will take the kids on separate outings, and "individually, Jon and Kate reflect on what the past has meant and what the future might hold." The bad news: A TLC spokeswoman says, "We are focusing on the launch of Kate's new series in early spring." [Us]
• In yet another creditor's claim, against Michael Jackson's estate, a company called Video & Audio Center said it is owed $128,482 for installing the TV system at Neverland Ranch. [TMZ]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie is home resting after being hospitalized with pneumonia. "So I stepped off the plane after a month out of the country, and basically went straight to the hospital for the week," he wrote on his website. "But don't worry all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
• Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib has been sentenced to 45 days in jail and 36 months probation after pleading guilty to leaving the scene of an accident. [TMZ]
• Flight attendant Lisa Wilson is suing Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony because she claims their "personal protection dog" "growled and lunged at her," and "headbutted her leg and she fell and seriously injured her back." Wilson claims the dog was "obviously dangerous" and should have been sent to counseling. [Us]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz's son Bronx Mowgli turned one today. Ashlee Tweeted yesterday: "BX's 1st bday tomorrow!" she wrote. "My angel is going to be a year!! The greatest year of my life." Pete Tweeted: "Happy birthday bx. you dont have twitter and cant read this. Thanks to all my friends that recorded lullabies. cant believe its been a year." [Us]
• Lily Allen, who urged the British government to crack down on illegal file sharing, said in a radio interview, "If someone comes up with a burnt copy of my CD and offers it to you for £4 I haven't a problem with that as long as the person buying it places some kind of value on my music." [Daily Express]
• Carrie Prejean's brother Billy Arnone talked to Radar Online about her sex tapes and said, "If they were put in front of me I'd probably watch it." [Radar Online]
• In other sketchy family member news, Paris Hilton's mom revealed that her daughter wanted to get breast implants. Kathy Hilton said, "At one point [Paris] was like 'I wanna do this and that, I'm so flat!' but then all of a sudden she was like 'I love it. I don't care. I love it.' I'm proud of that; I think that's really nice." [Daily Express]
• Wesley Snipes' is appealing an "unreasonable" three-year prison sentence. He was convicted last year of failing to file his income tax returns for three years, but his lawyers argued today that he should have been granted a hearing to decide whether the trial should have been in New York instead of Florida. During the trial, Snipes explained that he's an idealistic artist "unschooled in the science of law and finance." [AP]
• The IRS issued a tax lien against Joe Francis for about $34,000,000 and now he's asking a judge to order the agency to unfreeze his money because he's on the brink of bankruptcy. [TMZ]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says his client won't agree voluntarily to being extradited to the U.S. "We also maintain that Mr Polanski did not face a fair trial in Los Angeles," he said. "For all these reasons, among others, his position remains unchanged: he will not accept being extradited to the United States." [Reuters]
• On a radio show Rihanna said of her relationship with Chris Brown, "There are a lot of ... places that we've been to together, music, different things that come up that are reminders of your ex... When [his music] comes on the radio, I don't ... turn it off. I like his music... I've gotten over it, but there are definitely constant reminders ... songs that were our favorite songs, or hit songs." [People]
• Halle Berry, who has experienced domestic abuse herself, says of Rihanna, "Any time a woman frees herself from that kind of bondage and that kind of situation I'm proud." [Access Hollywood]
• Ha. In this video from four yeas ago Taylor Lautner says, "My dad says I can't date until I'm 28, but I'll have to negotiate that one down a little." [People]
• The Roman Catholic Church is bashing Twilight. A Vatican official said, "The theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that as ever is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element. It is once again that age-old trick or ideal formula of using extremes to make an impact at the box office. This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern." [Contact Music]
• New Moon made $26.3 million during midnight showings at North American box offices last night, breaking the record set by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. [Reuters]
• Susan Boyle said she was "shocked" when she lost America's Got Talent: "Sure, I mean, I am thrilled for Diversity; they deserved it. But I was working so hard, lost in the midst of all the excitement and yes, I felt the dream may be over after not picking up the winner's prize. Who would not?" [CBS News]
• Dave Navarro says he's a fan of his ex-wife Carmen Electra's girl-on-girl strip/sex tape. [TMZ]
• "You can't make music as a famous person," says John Mayer. "Famous people make really bad records – so I make music as a musician. I've read people say I was the shit, and I've read people say I am shit. I don't have to prove anything any more – all I have to do is play. Now my motivation is not so that people know my name, it's not so I can make money, it's not so I can meet girls – my motivation is to prove to people that you can buck the trend: that it's not an absolute that if you can be really successful, then you're gonna start sucking." [The Guardian]
• Yesterday, Rex Lee, who plays Lloyd on Entourage said crew members "occasionally" make fun of his ethnicity and homosexuality on set. The show's creator Doug Ellin says he's "shocked and horrified" and "will be speaking to everybody before we start filming again in March. It's not something condoned or acceptable." [TMZ]
• We can't handle any more Real Housewives drama, but if you want to know about the "infidelity, booze brawls, computer hacking," and physical threats" involved in new Orange County cast member Alexis Bellino's divorce read on: [Star]
• Derek Hough says his sister Julianne Hough broke up with Chuck Wicks because, "She's 21 years old and her career is skyrocketing right now and it's tough to sustain a relationship, especially with somebody who's so much older than her." [People]
• Ashley Jensen, who recently became a mother, said: "To be honest, I'm stumbling from day to day at the moment. Just getting to grips with feeding and not sleeping. It's all about routine, and it's very all-consuming. I had to feed him before I came out, which is why I was a little bit late, even though he wasn't really due a feed. And now I'm worried about whether my breasts are going to start lactating! You can't be away from him for too long. One thing it has given me is a real respect for womankind. Giving birth is amazing, and such a great leveller. It doesn't matter who you are – whether you're Mrs Beverly Hills with your Botox, or someone living in a caravan in Idaho. You both go through that." [The Independent]
• "I think for me the most satisfying thing is going out with my first headlining tour and having every show sell out. That was something that I never dreamed would be so quick to happen. Putting Madison Square Garden on sale and having it be sold out in 59 seconds. Like I can't believe that. I'm still completely blown away by that." — Taylor Swift [CNN]
• Eva Mendes says she was excited to work on Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, "Because Werner Herzog has been on my hit list for a while. I think he's a cinematic god and I think he's unparalleled. I think he's so prolific and he's such an iconoclast-you know, he's it. Working with him was a dream come true. I know that [Nicholas Cage] felt similarly. Obviously, I worked with Nic on Ghost Rider-a big popcorn movie-which is nothing like this. But I got to know Nic and the way he works and I really just like him as a person so I knew his personality and I thought, "Oh gosh, him and Werner Herzog together? They're going to kill it." [Maxim]
• Gayle King onOprah Winfrey ending her show: "I think that Oprah always makes the best decision for herself. I really do. And I have a feeling she will come up with some things to do. She has a very full life … We don't need to worry about her filling her time, I promise you that! Life is good for her." [People]

The Daily Beast's Nicole LaPorte crunches the numbers and figures out that "the typical celebrity shot sells for 31 percent less than it did in 2007. The dropoff has been more dramatic at the high end of the market. Six-figure photographs are down more than 50 percent." Why?

Well, for one thing, simple economics. There are now so many photographers parked outside celebrities' houses and favored coffeeshops that oversupply is dragging down prices. And magazine budget cuts have largely killed off the boom-era overbidding on exclusives.

But there's another reason, says LaPorte:

"Nicole Richie is the mother of two; Britney Spears is, astonishingly, under control; and Lindsay Lohan (whose troubles continue) has become so ubiquitous that she's devalued her market value."

According to the story, an exclusive shot of Lindsay passed out drunk could, back in the day, nab $150,000 for exclusive, worldwide rights, and a shot of Britney shaving her head went for $300,000. Now, not only are starlets either behaving themselves, lately there isn't a particularly winning "big story" or star to drive the narrative and up the prices.

It's enough to make you nostalgic for the halcyon days of the Girls Gone Wild era. Or not.

The Crash of the Britney Economy [The Daily Beast]

[Sydney, Australia. Image via INFDaily.]

• Carrie Prejean admitted to making a sex tape, but there are actually eight tapes and 30 photos. Radar Online reports: "On one tape Carrie is wearing just a flowing white blouse as she touches her body in an alluring manner."

• Most of the pictures are topless and Prejean took them herself in a mirror. In others she's totally nude. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin's bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's lawsuit against Jon. This could be very bad news for Jon if he wants to maintain custody of his kids. His former lover/babysitter Stephanie Santoro claims, "Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!" Uh, isn't that usually how it works? [National Enquirer]
• TLC's lawyers are also asking the court for permission to serve Stephanie Santoro with a subpoena. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's countersuit against TLC claims the network has caused him "to suffer harm to his reputation." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's rep says the National Enquirer's claim that Jon made a sex tape and did cocaine are, "truly false... It's sad that people are picking this up." [Us]
• Dina Lohan says Michael Lohan should be thrown in jail for releasing tapes of their phone calls because she has a protection order against him that says he can't call her until 2011. "It's bullshit," says Michael. "I called the house to talk to the kids and she would get on the phone and tell me all this stuff. I couldn't control that. I have all the tapes to prove it." Just to make things worse, he added that Dina would sometimes pick up the phone clearly intoxicated and vent to him about her boyfriend and other problems in her life. [Radar Online]
• Though Rosie O'Donnell only admitted that she and her wife Kelli Carpenter are having relationship problems, today on her Sirius XM radio show she said Kelli actually moved out two years ago. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson's former manager Dr. Tohme Tohme filed a creditor's claim against Jackson's estate yesterday, saying Michael promised him $2.3 million if he could find a company to save Neverland Ranch from foreclosure last year. [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Jennifer Aniston, who endorses SmartWater, was spotted holding a bottle of Arrowhead water while on vacation in Mexico. [TMZ]
• The former girlfriend of Edis Kayalar, the man accused of trying to blackmail Cindy Crawford, tried to get a restraining order against him. She claimed in a declaration that he, "He asked me to sleep with him at a friend's house, and when I refused he slapped me across my face and punched me 6-7 time (sic) all over body." She never showed up in court so the judge took no action. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and the L.A. Lakers are being sued by the makers of giant monitors they used during their concerts and events that the company says were patented. [TMZ]
• The company that chartered the plane carrying DJ AM that crashed in South Carolina, along with Goodyear Tire, Learjet, and the estates of the two pilots who died, are being sued for wrongful death because, "the crash ultimately caused Adam Goldstein's death." The suit claims DJ AM was forced to take various drugs because of the injuries he suffered. [TMZ]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says, "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." [Us]
• Nicholas Cage's home was auctioned yesterday and today, movers cleaned it out, removing carpets, boxes, and a giant stained glass window. [TMZ]
• Brandy won't be subjected to a civil trial for her December 2006 car crash. She just settled with the last plaintiffs, the parents of the woman who died in the accident. [TMZ]
• Police noticed Paris Hilton's gate was left open and went up to the house to make sure everything was OK, since the house was recently burglarized. [TMZ]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have split up. "We're both just really, really busy with our careers, and we spend a lot of time apart from each other – so we're just taking a little break right now," said Hough. [People]
• Hough said there's no heartache. "It's a good thing for us right now," she said. [Us]
• Russell Brand says he's not sorry for leaving lewd messages on actor Andrew Sachs' answering machine last year. "I would've done nothing differently. I apologise for the thing I did wrong to the person I did it to but the whole subsequent scandal was funny, it is funny I think. It's just rhubarb and guff," he says. [The Mirror]
• Stephanie Pratt pled not guilty to DUI today and her lawyer said she'll check into rehab. [TMZ]
• NeNe Leakes says she and Kim Zolciak are "Trying to be peaceful with each other... Kim and I have an up-and-down relationship. Don't be surprised if we have a falling out again. That's just how we are." [People]
• Amanda Peet says she'd like to work with her 2012 co-star John Cusack again in a romantic comedy. "He's brilliant, he's just a brilliant actor, so he can do anything," Peet said, "but I do feel like it would be fun if we could do something that's more comedic since we both love that." [CBS News]
• In Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's new book they say Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt really know how to manipulate the media, but they say they don't want to annoy Brangelina. "We wouldn't want to piss them off. She might steal Spencer-you know, because she steals people's husbands!" says Heidi, "But seriously, we'd love to sit down and discuss fame with them. Consider this your formal invitation, Brangelina. Let's hang out sometime. We'll be SpeidiLina!" [Playboy]
• Speidi also told Playboy that in 2010 they plan to "adopt an African baby, date Vince Vaughn, shave our heads, pretend Spencer is trapped in a balloon and have octuplets." [Us]