• While filming her upcoming interview with Barbara Walters for 20/20, Sarah Palin claimed she was "shocked" and "devastated" when she learned of her daughter Bristol's pregnancy, as she had no idea Bristol was sexually active. [ABCNews]

• Lindsay Lohan was reportedly upset after she was asked to pay for drinks at a bar after she "stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two really expensive bottles of champagne." When he bill arrived for said bottles, however, Lindsay began yelling "I don't pay for drinks! This is ridiculous! I'm freaking out!" [People]
• Meanwhile, Jeff Cohen, director of the Long Island charity FREE, says Michael Lohan failed to show up to a celebrity boxing event meant to raise money for people with special needs: "He just wasted everybody's time," Cohen says, "He's just a fame whore. For him it's a publicity stunt, for us it's a fund-raiser for individuals with special needs. He didn't stand up and be a man." [PageSix]
• Ugh, and it gets worse: Elliot Osher, former owner of Scores, says that Michael Lohan once visited the strip club and "and described the kind of dancer he was looking for. We sent some girls over. Funny, they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door." Lohan, however, says, "No girls danced for me. The last thing I'd want to see is a girl who looked like Lindsay. I don't even look at the magazines where she's done some risqué photos." [NYDN]
• Paris Hilton is "furious" that Kim Kardashian and her family are stealing her spotlight: "Paris is furious that Kim got her start by hanging out in Hollywood with her — and now, the Kardashians have it all, the reality shows, the magazine covers, the big appearance fees and promotional deals," says a source, "She used to command $100,000 for club appearances, but now Kim is the hottest girl — and they aren't friends anymore. [PageSix]
• And for those of you who care, Kourtney Kardashian's baby shower was "a huge success." [People]
• Rosie O'Donnell has admitted that her partner, Kelli Carpenter, whom she publicly acknowledged a split from last month, actually moved out two years ago. [People]
• "I wear these tight black leggings when I run, which I like to think make me look like Spider-Man when he goes evil. But just might actually make me look a bit of a ponce. Especially as they don't leave much to the ol' imagination - sex-organ-wise."- Russell Brand [TheSun]
• Roger Corman, Lauren Bacall, and Gordon Willis received honorary Oscars this year; the Oscars were given out last night, as opposed to being given out on the televised broadcast. [Yahoo]
• Victoria Beckham wants Blake Lively to model her new line of dresses. [DailyMail]
• Whoops! At a concert in Auburn Hills, Michigan on Friday night, Bruce Springsteen yelled "Hello, Ohio!" and referenced Ohio several times until Steve Van Zandt finally told him he was shouting out the wrong state. [NYTimes]
• 2012 took first place at the box office on Friday with a total of $23.7 million in ticket sales. [EW]
• Kelly Osbourne's black Pomeranian is named "Sid, but he's not at all vicious." [PageSix]
• Interested in possible Sex and the City 2 spoilers? Click here. [NYPost]
• Shayne Lamas was busted for DUI last night. "I take full responsibility for my lack of judgment," she says, "I have always strived to be a role model for my friends, family and fans and have never nor will ever condone drinking and driving. I apologize for all those I have disappointed, including myself." [JustJared]
• "I was trying to help this old lady with a big picture she was carrying. I offered to help and she told me to go f*** myself - twice. I said, 'I beg your pardon?' and she said, 'You heard, f*** off'. I was only trying to do a good deed - that's the last time I try and help an old lady." -Liam Gallagher [TheSun]
• "I read the book five months before casting. I read the first 50 pages and I was just like, No! Because I was really fat as well. After reading the four-line synopsis - ‘Edward is the perfect being. He's so witty and beautiful. He's crazy and funny. He'll open doors for you. He'll drive you in his Volvo' - I thought even turning up would be embarrassing."-Robert Pattinson, on showing up to his Twilight audition. [ShowbizSpy]
• "What really kills me - it really rips me up - is when people think I'm abrasive, inconsiderate or ungrateful because I don't go outside in a bikini and wave to the paparazzi. Come on!"-Kristen Stewart [NYTimes]

According to Republican national committeewoman Christine Torretti, "There are those who are absolutely crazy about [Palin] - they say she's the Jennifer Aniston of the Republican Party. And then there are other people that say, ‘What's this all about? She's airing all of her family dirty laundry.'" But whether they love or hate her, Americans are eagerly anticipating Going Rogue, which she finished just four months after the deal was announced. Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins, has ordered a print run of 1.5 million copies. We're going to give Palin the benefit of the doubt and assume she finished so fast because, as Harper publisher Jonathan Burnham says, she was "investing herself deeply and passionately in this project" — and not just because she wanted to get her homework over with quickly so she could go out and play. Whatever the case, we can't resist speculating about the book content. Below, please find our version of Palin's index — just as real as her political credentials.

Alaska
.... bestness of, 1, 3, 11, 27, 62, 94, 112, 152, 176, 200
.... geographical remoteness of, as explanation for otherwise bizarre/irresponsible actions, 45, 67, 103
.... proximity to Russia, 59
Americans, fake
.... see Couric, Katie; Fey, Tina; Johnston, Levi; reporters
basketball as metaphor for leadership, 47, 48, 96, 132, 167
bears, grizzly,
.... what welfare mothers can learn from them, 117
.... see also, rejected mascots
children
.... as qualification for public office, 145
.... grooming for campaign appearances, 47, 134
.... public discussion of, 5, 27, 83, 111, 192
.... outrage at other people's public discussion of, 6, 28, 84, 112, 193
Couric, Katie
.... how many newspapers does she actually read, anyway, 137
.... lack of intelligence, journalistic integrity as compared to Greta Van Susteren, 43, 79
death panels, and other things my Facebook friends believe in even if the liberal media don't, 39, 46
Fey, Tina
.... inferior attractiveness of, 63
.... plan for getting own show where I make fun of her, 67
fish, dead
.... as rhetorical analogy, 159
.... see also rejected mascots
Johnston, Levi
.... body odor of, 17
.... drug-dealing, trailer-trash family of, 25, 164
.... this one time I saw him pick a booger and eat it, 28
maps
.... see newspapers
moose, dead
.... see rejected mascots
newspapers
.... see salmon, materials for wrapping
oil
.... attractiveness as an outfit for sea birds, 7
.... connection between reduced drilling and complete economic and political collapse of country, 192
.... potential use as baby formula, 66
Palin, Bristol
.... blissful happiness with motherhood, 134
.... role as abstinence spokesperson, 134
.... therapy bills for "cognitive dissonance" problems, 167
.... see also rejected mascots
pit bulls, lipsticked
.... emergency room visits, 12
.... see also, rejected mascots
quitting, underrated merits of, 97, 110, 199
rejected mascots, 197
reporters
.... hatred of babies, troops, real Americans, 97, 126, 183
.... versus grizzly bears in funny animation Todd made, 106
salmon
.... as topic for fluffy profiles by friendly representatives of real-American media outlets, 178
.... materials for wrapping, including New York Times and full text of health care reform legislation, 67
wolves
.... Ashley Judd's dangerous support of, 22
.... shooting from helicopters, 37
.... possible use as mascot, as long as dead, 198

You may notice that the Index only refers to pages above 200. That's because we're betting Sarah Palin decided to quit halfway through, reasoning that she would be a more effective writer working from outside her office. The second half of the book is probably a story of Christian redemption by collaborator Lynn Vincent — or just a bunch of photos of Palin snowmobiling.

Republican Base Still Wild About Sarah Palin [Politico]
Palin's Book, Going Rogue, Will Be Out by Thanksgiving [Newser]
Palin Finishes Memoir, 'Going Rogue,' Out Nov. 17 [AP]
Palin Finishes Memoir; 'Going Rogue' Set For Nov. 17 Release [AP, via Washington Post]

[Bristol, England; September 3. Image via Getty]

BRISTOL, UNITED KINGDOM - SEPTEMBER 03: Ashanti James, aged 4 from Bristol, plays the piano in the Broadmead area of Bristol on September 3, 2009 in Bristol, United Kingdom. Artist Luke Jerram is planning to place up to 20 upright pianos across the city and invite the public to play them in celebration of the reopening of the city's music venue the Colston Hall later this month. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

The DVD—which is the "celebrity" edition of the porn series—will be released on September 15.

Perhaps it's because no one has argued the case against the talk show host - and his writers - in a way that truly resonates with me. Or maybe it's simply because I really like Dave and really dislike Governor Palin; proving, sadly, that my East Coast, liberal prejudices are hard to shake, even in the face of misogynist, questionable verbal assaults against women. Perhaps it's because the protestations of Governor Palin herself seem more a way of scoring political points and press attention than sincere repudiations of misogyny in the media or eruptions of her protective, inner "Mama Grizzly Bear". (I couldn't put my finger on why I wasn't more viscerally offended on behalf of Palin's daughter - Willow or Bristol - but a commenter on the blog Reclusive Leftist summed it up nicely: "What's really annoying about the last two videos is that he's just using Palin's daughter as a prop to make jokes about notable MEN (Spitzer and A-Rod). The effects are that she ends up being portrayed as a prostitute or a rape victim, but those effects are secondary to the punchlines about the men in the jokes." At first glance, this seems to absolve Letterman and his band of merry, mostly male, comedy writers of some responsibility: The jokes were about widely-mocked men! But of course, this also means the Palin daughter(s) become pawns, faceless, nameless vehicles with which to score comedic points. Yes, not cool.)

Speaking of jokes: I suspect my tepid defense of Palin and her brood it has a lot to do with the difference between "comedy" and, well, rhetoric. David Letterman, however unfunny or inappropriate, was making jokes when he went after Palin and her daughter(s) earlier this week. With assertions that cracks like his directly contribute to assaults on young women and an epidemic of low self-esteem, however, Palin, whose relentless verbal assaults and insinuations during the presidential campaign are hard for me to forgive or forget, bypassed reasoned disagreement and went straight into rhetoric-land. Take her appearance this morning on Today (clip above). Host Matt Lauer questioned the Governor on the Letterman flap, pressing her on some of her more provocative statements about situation, asking, "Are you suggesting that David Letterman can't be trusted around a 14 year old girl?" Her response: "Take it how you want to take it." Later, she sarcastically made mention of "the candidate who must be obeyed," i.e. Barack Obama.

There was more where that came from. Last night on Sean Hannity's Fox News hate fest, conservative columnist S.E. Cupp placed the blame for Letterman's remarks squarely on Obama.

"This is the enduring legacy of the Obama campaign. I'm not saying this to be inflammatory, I blame Barack Obama because he allowed his surrogates in the media and Hollywood and everyone else on the left to do this dirty talking for him," she said, adding, "I want Barack Obama or Michelle Obama to come up and say, this kind of rhetoric will not be tolerated."

Leaving Ms. Cupp's strange definition of "rhetoric" aside, it seems to me that coming to a passionate, spirited, coherent defense of a United States Governor and one or more of her daughters regarding a late night comedy show bit is well below President Obama's pay grade at the moment. Sadly, considering my obviously muddled feelings on the subject, it's also below my current cognitive, critical abilities...or sympathies.

Conservative Columnist Blames Obama For Letterman's Palin Joke [HuffPo]
David Letterman, The Voice Of Dude Nation [Reclusive Leftist]
Palin Forces America To Become Aware of Her Once Again [NY Mag]
Did Letterman Get A Free Pass? [Salon]
Palin, Letterman, Still At Odds Over Comedian's Joke [AP]

Levi's that guy in high school or maybe college, before you knew yourself or what you wanted, who was sweet and who loved you but with whom you really never had that much in common. For Levi, his thing is hunting — so much so that Sullivan keeps coming back to the idea that someone should give Levi a hunting show.

About the hunting he is more open. One night we were discussing the possibility of his starring in a hunting-themed reality show, an idea for which I did not have to fake the enthusiasm I showed. People had already come after him for Survivor, for Who Wants to Date Levi? This seemed much less degrading. Plus I imagined Tank in the show, too. Tank being guided by the surly white redskin Levi on these polar adventures, a hallucinogenic skewing of the whole jive-ass colonialist Tonto narrative!

Levi told me that in his estimation, he possessed "as much fishing, camping, and hunting experience as anybody my age in the country, if not more." I asked how he could possibly know this. "I'm 19 years old," he said, "and I've never done anything but hunt and fish and camp. I don't see how any of them could get more."

But in all the hunting stories he's told and tells to Sullivan, Bristol has only ever featured in one of them — about how he lost the ring she gave him and thus tattooed her name instead.

Levi's ill at ease, in Sullivan's piece, wondering who sold him out to the National Enquirer, cutting off friends who he knows have sold him out, feeling his way through the maze of saying enough to tell his story without crossing boundaries he's unwilling to cross (like discussing the ins and outs, pun intended, of Bristol's pregnancy). He goes around doing television interviews almost in competition with Bristol, but Sullivan only sees him relax when he's finally made contact with her (when he's in Seattle for a television appearance) and knows she isn't angry with him.

Levi wanted to text Bristol. Tank thought he should. Of course I said he should, spreading vulturous wings. "Screw it," he said. "I'm doing it." He texted her while Tank and I watched over his shoulder. "You looked great on TV," he typed with his thumbs. A few blocks on she texted back, "Thanks. You too! I tried to call you on your birthday." They went back and forth some more. Tank and I gave them their privacy.

But he won't say that he loves her or wants to get back together.

I think we were in love. I wasn't one to stick with a girl for three years if I wasn't. I'm pretty sure you can call it love, but it's just amazing how fast it can change like that. We were together every day. The feeling we got when we were with each other, it was just totally gone.

Who hasn't been there?

Levi is easy for us to project onto because he's such a blank slate — he's an 18-year-old kid, a father, his sister's older brother, his mom's son, Bristol's ex, Sarah Palin's foil, Rex Butler's client. Like most of us at 18, he doesn't know what he is yet to himself, and so neither do we. You feel sorry for him, you feel angry at him, you like him, you hate him... just like whatever boy (or girl) you first fell in love with yourself. Sullivan's the same... only its himself he starts to hate a little for exploiting, like the rest of us, a confused, sad 18-year-old kid.

By the end of the piece, like at the end of your teens, you don't really want to date Levi anymore. You kind of want to go out with Tank, his bodyguard, who's cool, interesting, funny, self-aware...and the focus of half of Sullivan's piece. Anyone got his number?

He Shall Be Levi [GQ]

In order to do so, she must, with the help of People, imply that her life totally sucks. People helpfully mentions that she didn't appear at all in her high school class's graduation slideshow, and that she spent graduation night "not with a gang of friends but at home, giving her 5-month-old son a bottle while her extended family plays 'Eskimo bingo.'" Bristol adds that she has had to write a school paper while listening to her son cry, and that "girls need to imagine and picture their life with a screaming newborn baby and then think before they have sex." But perhaps the strangest thing about the article is her statement that,

If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody.

Not only does the ignore the many ways to prevent the specific consequence Bristol's talking about, it also sounds incredibly condescending. Does Bristol really think that girls have no idea that sex can lead to pregnancy? And what about boys? Bristol's statement lets Levi off the hook pretty easily.

But she probably doesn't mean to talk down to girls. Bristol is in an incredibly awkward position — she was forced to be a public figure when she isn't particularly suited for it, the most private aspects of her life became national news, and now she's supposed to simultaneously adore her baby son and hold him up as the career-destroying consequence of bad behavior. Bristol probably never would have become an abstinence advocate if not for her famous mom, and her life would probably be better for it. She certainly wouldn't be called upon to make public statements about teen sexual behavior, something she's clearly not very good at.

Bristol Palin Exposes Her Sometimes Isolated Life [People]

Bristol, appearing on GMA this morning, said she isn't "quite sure" how her personal experience conflicts with her new abstinence-only message. What she was sure about is that "abstinence is the only way you can effectively, 100% [...] prevent pregnancy." Is this a reversal of her earlier (and, frankly, more consistent with her own experience) position that abstinence is unrealistic? Not according to Bristol, who claimed she never said such a thing:

Bristol said her earlier words on abstinence were "taken out of context," and GMA's Chris Cuomo didn't press the issue, which is unsurprising in an interview padded with softball questions about Levi Johnston and Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impersonation. Today's Matt Lauer, who interviewed Bristol later in the morning, wasn't much better — in his sit-down with Bristol and, weirdly, her dad, he mentioned Bristol's earlier "unrealistic" statement but didn't actually ask her to explain her change of heart:

It was a little icky to watch Lauer ask Todd Palin, on the couch with his daughter and grandson, if he knew Bristol and Levi were having sex — at the same time, it was disappointing that Lauer let Todd totally sidestep the question. The weirdest part of the interview, however, was Todd and Bristol's different characterizations of Bristol's pregnancy. Bristol, holding Tripp, asked teens to "learn from my [slight pause] example." Todd went ahead and calls it a "mistake." Which goes to show that, as Lauer hinted, having a Teen Ambassador promote abstinence with her baby on her lap is kind of a strange choice. But The Candie's Foundation, whose "celebrity messages" include "Be Sexy: It Doesn't Mean You Have to Have Sex" and which counts among its spokespeople Jenny McCarthy of toilet ad and vaccine-hating fame, is no stranger to strange choices.

Update: On The Early Show, Levi Johnston disagreed with Bristol's new position, saying, "I don't just think telling young kids, you can't have sex, it's not going to work. It's not realistic."

Related: Bristol Palin Campaigns Against Teen Pregnancy [MSNBC]
The Candie's Foundation: History [Official Site]

• Amy Winehouse was hospitalized for dehydration after she "fainted after being out in the sun and without drinking water. She has been taking part in a lot of activities which also played a part."[TheSun]

• In a bit of good news for the singer, however, Amy has won a high-court harassment injunction that forces paparazzi to stay at least 100 meters from her home. [Guardian]
• "I do really intellectually highbrow stuff in my downtime. I read first-edition Shakespeare. I write poetry. I'm trying to get my masters in neuroscience. That's the kind of guy I am...man, I don't even know what a masters is."-Robert Pattinson[Guardian]
• Meanwhile, Jay Leno admits that his hospitalization was for exhaustion. "That's like a rich person's condition. Poor people that work – they don't get exhausted," Leno says, "Only rich people get exhausted. It's an embarrassing thing." [People]
• "Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She's an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds." -Shia LaBeouf[ Star]
• Is Lauren Conrad coming back to The Hills? "She kind of realized, especially in this economy, there's not much else out there for her," says a source, "What else can she do that would earn as much?" Also returning to the Hills, my Laguna Beach favorite, Kristin Cavallari.[PageSix]
• Bristol Palin is reportedly still trying to "control" her ex, Levi Johnston. "What Bristol is doing amounts to emotional blackmail," says a source, "She no longer wants Levi in her life and is threatening to have him cut out of their newborn son Tripp's life." [NationalEnquirer]
• "I get to travel and go to London and Paris, while this person sits by the computer writing mean things about me. I'd rather be the one traveling."-Miley Cyrus on Perez Hilton. [ShowbizSpy]
• Sadness! 120 Minutes host Matt Pinfield has checked himself into rehab. "I've been struggling with a dependency that I need to address," Pinfield says, "I want to have a life, I don't want to be a statistic . . . It's the fight of my life, but you know what, I'm gonna win." [PageSix]
• Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber is being sued by two former employees, who claim that Gerber sexually harassed them while they worked as waitresses at the Moonstone Lounge, a part of the Hard Rock Hotel of San Diego. Gerber's rep denies the allegations: "These allegations were previously investigated and shown to be baseless. This lawsuit has no merit." [E!]
• Ouch: Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut was cut from the upcoming New York, I Love You for being "unwatchable." [PageSix]
• John Mayer's new romance is apparently over already; a rep for the singer claims that Mayer and Scheana Marie are "no longer in contact. She's been exaggerating her interactions with him." [E!]
• Oh, snap! Lily Allen was rejected when she tried to give a friendly hello kiss to Joan Collins. "Omg , was just introduced to joan collins, shook her hand and went to kiss her on the cheek," Lily wrote on her Twitter page. Apparently Joan's response was "I don't kiss people I don't know." Nobody messes with Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan! [TheSun]
• Lady Gaga has a new boyfriend, and his name is Speedy. [TheSun]
• "The reason I am in Los Angeles is that I'm making a television show that I can be proud of. One of my principle goals in life is to avoid embarrassing my children by doing what I do. And I think I've just about managed that."-Hugh Laurie [DailyMail]
• Casey Aldrige the father of Jamie Lynn Spears' baby, has been released from the hospital after sustaining injuries from a car accident. [People]
• Brigitte Bardot is speaking out against the slaughter of Egyptian pigs, a precautionary move meant to stop the potential spread of swine flu: "Taking advantage of the global hysteria over the propagation of 'Mexican' flu, which has nothing to do with animals, in order to launch a campaign to exterminate pigs raised by a destitute section of the population is extremely cowardly," Bardot says. [TimesOnline]
• A bouncer claims that Jon Gosselin is always on his best behavior when out with friends at a club: "He always has his wedding band on," the bouncer says, "He talks about his kids all the time. He loves his family." [People]
• PETA has backed out of a deal with Michael Vick, as the organization believes he's still not sorry for his crime: "Our No. 1 goal at PETA is to prevent cruelty to animals," says PETA's Dan Shannon, "I believe a genuine, contrite Michael Vick could convince people not to get involved in dog fighting. What we don't believe at this point is that there is a contrite, remorseful Michael Vick. At this point, it looks like there's zero chance." [AdAge]
• Kate Winslet on confronting the mean girls in her life: "I was shopping with my mum and we walked into a department store and I saw this girl behind the make-up counter who had been the ringleader of the mean girls at school. I walked up to her and said: 'Hello, how are you?' She said 'Oh fine, how are you?', a bit panicky because she remembered how much of a bitch she'd been and suddenly I was a bit well-known and she was very embarrassed. And I said:'So, working at a make-up counter, then?' This girl was going to be a model and her dad was going to buy her a car if she grew her fingernails. I said: 'Don't you want to be a model or a dancer?' She: 'No, I'm just waiting for, um, y'know a couple of contracts to come in and am doing this for the time being' and then she said: 'Things good for you then?' and I said: 'Yeah, they are - and I want to say thanks for being such a bitch 'cos you made me much, much stronger, so thanks a lot,' and walked off! And I thought: 'Yeeees! Come on!'"[DailyMail]

Basically, Levi was all but living with the Palin family before Bristol got pregnant (Sarah Palin calls it "staying" there and swears she didn't know they were boning). He says he loves his kid (he would never describe Bristol's pregnancy as "a mistake," unlike his interviewer) and is pretty pissed that everyone keeps calling him and his family "white trash."

Compared to the Johnston family's appearance on Tyra, in the Early Show interview Levi comes off as way less fratty, and his mom spends more time weeping. (Sister Mercede continues to seem a little too emotionally invested in her sibling for anyone's good.) In fact, I was all ready to root for Levi again, until the postscript, which is that Levi is "open" to any acting or modeling offers that might come this way.

But I am in agreement with him that the "white trash" finger-pointing needs to stop. Plenty of relationships break up in plenty of ugly ways, lots of people act immaturely (especially at 17) when they do and plenty of parents try to protect and defend their children. But throwing words like "trashy" around doesn't make anyone look classy.

The Johnston's said they wanted to speak publicly because they are sick of the Palin family and the media tarnishing their name. They chose this particular forum — the Tyra show — to let everyone know that they are not "white trash." However, mom Sherry's weird non-answer when asked about her drug charges, and sister Mercede's (yep, it's "Mercede," singular) feud with Bristol over the fact that Mercede is friends with a bunch of other girls that Levi did not practice abstinence with, may make their case a bit flimsy. Actually, their problems — drugs, harassing texts, teen sex, "not bein' able to see my granbaby" — sounded similar to those of litigants on Judge Judy, most of whom, I'm quite sure, would certainly be classified by some as "white trash".

Whatever the case, Bristol released a statement via Sarah Palin's political team:

Which made absolutely no sense, seeing as how Tyra pointed out that no one gets paid to go on the Tyra show.

Apparently there's tons of acrimony between the Palins and the Johnstons, most of which seems to stem from Mercede, who is all up in the mix. (Why does she have such close relationships with all the people her brother frigs anyway?)

The Johnstons only get to see baby Tripp about once a month, and he is not allowed to leave the Palin house with them. There also seems to be some tension regarding taking pictures with Tripp, because the Palins fear that the Johnstons will sell them to tabloids.

Levi didn't do much talking during the whole interview, except to say that he thinks that Sarah Palin was aware that he and Bristol were doing it, and that she didn't say anything to them about abstinence.

The thing is, the Johnstons were supposed to be breaking their silence, but even though they were talking, they didn't really say all that much. And what they did say was kind of confusing. Case in point: Sherry's difficulty in expressing what's going on inside her head:

• Sarah Palin isn't smiling with her eyes over Levi Johnston's appearance on the Tyra Banks Show, where he discussed his relationship with Palin's daughter, Bristol. Palin has released a statement accusing Johnston of "lies."[People]

• "Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," the statement reads, "Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence," the statement continues. "It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child. Bristol realizes now that she made a mistake in her relationship and is the one taking responsibility for their actions." [People]
• As Margaret reported last night, Rihanna is back home in Barbados. Her father says she's doing well: "Of course, I'm happy to have her home. Things are good with her," Ronald Fenty says, "She is doing really, really well. She's back to herself again." [USWeekly]
• Is Chris Noth too busy for the Sex and the City sequel? [E!]
• Uh-oh: a nanny claims that Robert DeNiro and his wife owe her $40,000 in back pay. [PageSix]
• No Doubt will be making an appearance on the Today show next month. [NME]
• "I call them my Testosterousers, in an attempt to make them more masculine."-Russell Brand on his skintight leather pants. [TimesOnline]
• Vanessa Hudgens is proud of her role model status: "In Hollywood there are a lot of trouble makers and it is all that kids see," Hudgens says, "And the fact that there are people like me and Ashley Tisdale who are good kids and the fact that they can and do look up to us, makes me very proud. It's an honor but quite daunting at the same time." [ShowbizSpy]
• Watchmen star Jackie Earle Haley will be playing Freddie Krueger in the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street reboot. [E!]
• "I like America. When I go overseas I spend a lot of time defending my country. America shouldn't work. There are 300 million people. Every day it hasn't evolved into people eating each other and race war. It's like 'OK! Let's count that as a success'."-Matt Stone[Guardian]
• Josh Hartnett has been released from the hospital and is doing fine, according to his rep, Susan Patricola: ""They are running tests, which take time to get back and it's a process of elimination. They just have to figure out what it is." [People]
• Jamie Kennedy and Jennifer Love Hewitt are closer than ever after Hewitt helped Kennedy recover from kidney stones. The two were spotted at a restaurant being very lovey dovey: "She was very sweet to him, ordered for him and made sure he drank plenty of water, says a source, "Jamie put his arm around Jennifer in a loving way and pulled her closer to him. It was obvious that he appreciated that Jennifer took care of him." [People]
• Ben Affleck accidentally taught his daughter, Violet, to swear in German: "All the food is coming, spilling towards me. And I go, 'Shhhhh... and I turn it around and say 'sheisse'. Why I came up with that word, I don't know, I have not even been to Germany, but I guess that's a German swear word in my subconscious.I thought, 'I've averted disaster.' I look over at her and she says, 'What's sheisse? Why did you say sheisse?' I said, 'It's just a bad word, and we don't say that.' As soon as I told her it was a bad word, I was like, 'You idiot.' So she just goes, sheisse, sheisse, sheisse, sheisse, over and over again. It turned into a total nightmare for me. My daughter's swearing in German." [DailyExpress]
• Guy Richie says he's "saddened" that Madonna's adoption application was denied: "'I fully supported Madonna in her decision to apply for this adoption, and I am saddened that her application has been rejected," Richie says, "She is motivated only by being a caring parent who seeks to share some of the advantages and opportunities that her life has given her. This time it did not work out, but there will be other opportunities and I wish her well in them. She is a great mum." [DailyMail]
• "I'm as romantic as anyone. I find the clichés of romance don't appeal to me particularly, I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day, for instance, because I think the idea of an appointed day to give roses is a bit facile.
  I think that if romance is simply going from thrill to thrill, whether it's from partner to partner or from poem to poem or from song to song, then that's something I'd be quite sceptical about."- Colin Firth[DailyMail]
• Demi Moore reportedly saved a woman's life after calling attention to a suicidal tweet she spotted on Twitter. "Everyone I was very torn about responding or retweeting that woman's post but felt uncomfortable just letting it go," Moore wrote on her Twitter, "Thanks everyone for reaching out to the San Jose PD i am told they are aware and no need to call anymore. I do not know this woman... And if it is a joke it is not funny and nor is this an appropriate outlet for such a serious matter. Time for us to move on." [TheSun]

The stats on the 2007 birth rate tell of both good and bad news. Somewhat good: the U.S. population is more than replacing itself. Bad: teen pregnancies are also on the rise, for the second year in a row.

Fertility researcher S. Philip Morgan claims that cultural acceptance of unwed mothers is partially to blame, as is the high profile case of Bristol Palin. "She's the poster child for what you do when you get pregnant now," Morgan said. He believes that Bristol (and the media acceptance of girls like her) may be to blame for both the rise in teen pregnancies and the fall in abortion rates.

Optimists believe that abortions are down because of better contraception, while pessimists believe that more teens are having babies because they don't know how to use birth control. This viewpoint is backed up by studies that show an overall decrease in availability of abortions - it is becoming increasingly true that if a young girl gets pregnant, she stays pregnant ("Just like Bristol," as Morgan might say).

Dr. Carol Hogue has a somewhat similar take on the phenomenon. She suggests that the abnormally high birth rate in 2007 was spurred a relatively good economy coupled with "cultural trends that promoted childbirth." So you mean our cultural obsession with celebrity babies (and all those infuriating baby watch articles and "baby bump" features) are finally taking their toll? Who'da thunk it!

However, they would like to remind us that this is only "the tiniest of baby booms":

CDC officials noted that despite the record number of births, this is nothing like what occurred in the 1950s, when a much smaller population of women were having nearly four children each, on average. That baby boom quickly transformed society, affecting everything from school construction to consumer culture.

Today, U.S. women are averaging 2.1 children each. That's the highest level it's been since the early 1970s, but is a relatively small increase from the rate it had hovered at for more than 10 years and is hardly transforming.

This is why experts are calling the 2007 surge of newborns a "baby boomlet," rather than a full-on boom. Whatever sickeningly cutesy name we call it, the fact remains that more babies are having babies, less women are able to choose abortion as an option, and doctors are blaming a single famous teen mom for a rash of young births that happened two years ago. And that's bad news all around.

Number Of U.S. Births Breaks Record [CBS News]

Johnston confirmed that he and Bristol have separated, but says contrary to reports in Star he's allowed to see his son Tripp whenever he wants. He adds that he'd like to get back together with Bristol some day. Clip at left.