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New York, 12:52 AM
Tue Dec 8
68 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of mariamariamaria mariamariamaria
    11/24/09

    In reply to The Return Of Bridezilla
    Cockermouth? But I just met her!!!

    Bahahahaha! Tip your waitresses, and try the veal - I'll be here 'til Sunday!
     Reply
    mariamariamaria was starred mariamariamaria was unstarred
    Image of sayah sayah
    11/24/09

    In reply to The Return Of Bridezilla
    Cockermouth again! I used all my Beavis & Butthead-material yesterday!

    *begins giggling incessantly*
     Reply
    mariamariamaria promoted this comment sayah was starred sayah was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    11/24/09

    In reply to The Return Of Bridezilla
    I thought this was an ad for sunscreen... those three coulda used some.
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of SUNNY1 SUNNY1
    11/24/09

    In reply to The Return Of Bridezilla
    And here, for $2000, we have the Skeletons in your Closet...
     Reply
    SUNNY1 was starred SUNNY1 was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    11/24/09

    In reply to The Return Of Bridezilla
    WHAT? You think crypt keepers don't fall in love too? Everyone wants a nice wedding.
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of Ailatan Ailatan
    11/24/09

    @badmutha: and they seem to be quite decent to their wedding planners.

    I wonder where they go to their honeymoon?
     Reply
    Ailatan was starred Ailatan was unstarred
    Image of CurtCole CurtCole
    11/24/09

    @Ailatan: Hot dry climates, they're best for retarding decomposition. Just ask anyone's mummy.
     Reply
    CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    11/24/09

    @Ailatan: Maybe the Dead Sea?
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of Diziet_Sma Diziet_Sma
    11/24/09

    @Ailatan: The Dead Sea?
     Reply
    Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred
    Image of Ailatan Ailatan
    11/24/09

    @CurtCole: I thought they might do a tour of the nicest cemeteries out there, but I can see your point, if they went cemetery seeing they would start talking shop.
     Reply
    Ailatan was starred Ailatan was unstarred
    Image of Diziet_Sma Diziet_Sma
    11/24/09

    @badmutha: Ha.
     Reply
    Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    11/24/09

    @Diziet_Sma: Great minds, dahling, great minds.
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    11/24/09

    @Ailatan: Unfortunately, it is the same with the catacombs, pyramids, and many shinto temples. All dead, all the time, makes life so dull and lifeless. Oops! See what i did there!
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of wordinedgewise wordinedgewise
    11/24/09

    In reply to The Return Of Bridezilla
    Dear god, there is a place called COCKERMOUTH!
     Reply
    wordinedgewise was starred wordinedgewise was unstarred
    Image of cuteasabutton cuteasabutton
    11/24/09

    @wordinedgewise: I know. Everytime they mention it on the news I giggle. Yes I am 10.
     Reply
    cuteasabutton was starred cuteasabutton was unstarred
    Image of PorkStore PorkStore
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    I am a wedding photographer;

    1) Look over your contract. In mine, it explicitly states that any and all pictures I take at your wedding may be used for promotional purposes, on the web or in print. If you don't want your bare back shown online, either ask the photographer to step out of the room or turn around, or excuse yourself to the bathroom or another changing room so you can have some privacy. As a photographer, neither of these options would be offensive to me. Most brides get bare-ass naked in front of me without a second thought, but I've also had brides excuse themselves to the bathroom to put their dress on privately.

    2) With that said, a good photographer has some common sense about what is appropriate and/or might not be welcome by a bride. For example, I have pictures of a bride's bare back, but her face is turned away. Or on my private proofing site, there's a picture of the brides panties which have "I do" encrusted in little jewels, but I set that picture to private so only the bride can see it. If there WAS some really awesome picture where the bride was showing a lot of skin, and her face was visible, I would ask her permission to put it on my website or blog, even though she already signed a contract saying I could--there's more to this than what the contract says, there's also an empathetic aspect to this. I've never had a bride ask me to remove a picture from my blog or website, but if that were to happen, it would be gone in two seconds. It's about respect and integrity. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    thesciencegirl promoted this comment PorkStore was starred PorkStore was unstarred
    Image of Cimorene Cimorene
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    It's depressing how many people here are dismissing her concerns. I don't get why. Someone took pictures of her without her permission, in her underwear, and put them on the internet. How is it even questionable that the photographer was wrong? How is it not illegal, actually, to do that? How is it not further illegal to not remove them when asked? Why are people so dismissive about her claim to have PTSD?

    Women's psychological concerns are constantly ignored, dismissed, or considered "hysterical" or overreacting. Women's concerns about the invasion of sexual harassment or assault are also constantly dismissed. WTF is up with that happening on this site? Putting up half-naked photos of someone is a fucked up, sexual harassment thing to do. I'm not surprised that non-consensual scantily clad publicly posted photos are giving her PTSD. Who knows the rest of the story? Maybe she's already once been the victim of unwanted sexualized images of her getting posted publicly. Maybe there are people in her life who have seen these photos and now treat her differently, or printed up the pictures and hung them in their office cubicle next to hers, or snicker every time she walks into the room, or tell her that they masturbate to her underwear pictures every morning. Maybe her ex boyfriend raped her and has been emailing her since he saw the pictures online, harassing her and using these images as yet another way to intimidate her.

    Half-naked pictures of women get used all the time to control them. Intimidate them, threaten them, make them uncomfortable. I'm shocked and disappointed at the Jezebel commenters' reactions to a story of what I see as essentially sexual harassment (at best). #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Cimorene was starred Cimorene was unstarred
    Image of Little Time Bomb Little Time Bomb
    11/17/09

    @Cimorene: You're not surprised the photos being posted gave her PTSD? Many people commenting are. Unless you're a highly qualified mental health expert working with PTSD your opinion on the matter is worth exactly as much as anyone else's. We currently only have her side of the story. We also have no information on the validity of her PTSD claim. Maybe something in her past traumatized her, maybe not, it's all conjecture. What is not conjecture is that PTSD is a very serious thing and shouldn't be claimed lightly. Using a sham PTSD diagnosis to prop up a frivolous lawsuit, for instance, is a real jerk move. Based on the article, and the article alone, many Jezies (myself included) seem to feel that way. we'll just have to agree to disagree until more information is available. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Little Time Bomb was starred Little Time Bomb was unstarred
    Image of Cimorene Cimorene
    11/17/09

    @Little Time Bomb: We don't actually have her side of the story, we have a journalist's interpretation of the story. The article begins, "A blushing bride got her panties in a bunch after wedding-day snapshots of her in a pair of unmentionables popped up on a Web site." That is not how an article about potential sexual harassment ought to begin; it sets a tone of "oh she's just overreacting! women! they're so sensitive!" Also, the image (which is not her) is of a woman's bare back with a target superimposed on her body. I get that it's supposed to be of a camera's eye-view, but images of targets inevitable bring to mind guns. The point being, this article is shaping the way people interpret the story, and the article is written from a decidedly antifeminist, antiwoman point of view.

    I do not disagree that false charges of PTSD are offensive. But I don't see how anyone could really question that unwanted, sexualized, porny pictures of a woman posted on a website and then not removed upon request could legitimately end up with PTSD, especially given the horrifically high number of women who have, indeed, been victims of unwanted sexual contact or conduct. Given the high number of women who are victims of harassment, it is entirely legitimate, even (I would argue) logical to suppose that she might be a victim of sexual violence. So that plus this is an entirely logical formula for PTSD.

    The problem is that most people are mocking her or saying she's overreacting or not believing her. How shocking--a woman is a victim of sexual violence and nobody believes her. Something new and unusual, since usually sexual violence victims are automatically trusted and believed. Oh wait, except this is a patriarchal society that hates women, so that is exactly the opposite of what is true.

    Not believing this woman and questioning the severity of the trauma of this situation is the same thing as not believing a rape victim or saying "Oh it's not like he beat you up or anything what's the big deal?" Saying that she signed a contract saying the photographers could use the pictures, even if she asked the photographer not to take underwear pictures, is like saying "Oh you went on a date with him? You went back to his place? You took off your shirt? Well that's basically permission for sex, isn't it, so you should have expected it to happen."

    It's incredibly disappointing to see that here (or anywhere). And masking antiwoman, victim-blaming slut-shaming comments as some noble defense of those actual, like legitimate, cases of people with PTSD (like soldiers) is disingenuous. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Cimorene was starred Cimorene was unstarred
    Image of Little Time Bomb Little Time Bomb
    11/17/09

    @Cimorene: I understand where you're coming from. We disagree I think questioning a version of a story where a lawsuit is involved is fairly standard. It's in fact the basis of our legal system. We're not talking about criminal charges here.
    When people file a lawsuit it is by nature one side of the story, their side.
    Yes the article is biased, but so is the Most news posts and articles are biased in one way or another. I'd argue that most Jezebels are fairly adept at spotting anti-woman bias.
    You obviously have really strong feelings on this issue and I'm sure we all respect that. Some people just don't have the same interpretation of events as you do. That will also come from their own personal history.
    I do really strongly disagree that ..."Not believing this woman and questioning the severity of the trauma of this situation is the same thing as not believing a rape victim or saying "Oh it's not like he beat you up or anything what's the big deal?"...
    It is not the same thing. The only thing that is the same thing is doing that exact same thing. Bringing logical leaps and fallacies into the matter isn't helping anyone's point. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Little Time Bomb was starred Little Time Bomb was unstarred
    Image of monica.malowney monica.malowney
    11/17/09

    @Cimorene: I'm a research coordinator in a PTSD lab at a VA Hospital and (call me insensitive but) I laughed out loud at this post. This doesn't sound like PTSD from the information given. Post-traumatic stress disorder is a DSM diagnosis, and as such must meet the DSM requirements. The DSM states that in order for an individual to receive this diagnosis, s/he "Must have been exposed to a traumatic event or experience involving intense fear, horror, or helplessness. The event or experience must involve a threat of death, serious injury, or physical integrity. The event or experience may be to yourself or to others around you." Trauma, however, is only one aspect of this disorder. More important than the occurance of trauma is the reaction, which is really what distiguishes a "normal" response to such an event from PTSD.
    The other requirements that must be met: 1. re-experiencing of trauma; 2. avoiding reminders of trauma;
    3. persistant indicators of arousal;
    4. 1-3 must be for over 1 montht; and 5. impairment in important areas of functioning. ALL of these requirements must be met. Most people who have traumatic experiences don't develop PTSD. In fact, even among combat veterans returning from OEF or OIF (Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom), the highest percentage of PTSD in this population that I've heard of is 17%, which is REALLY high anyway.
    Sounds to me like this woman is upset, wants her picture to be taken down, can't make it happen because of the contract she signed, so she is now claiming to have a serious mental illness. No doubt she is upset, and with good reason, but it is careless to say that just because she may or may not have suffered what can be diagnostically considered a traumatic event, she is now suffering from PTSD.
    It sounds like bad behavior on both sides to me. Even if she has had past trauma, by the way, it wouldn't be correct to say that this event led to her PTSD. At most, it could lead to her coming out of remission from PTSD.
     Reply
    Kaila Hale-Stern approved this comment monica.malowney was starred monica.malowney was unstarred
    Image of rodmanstreet rodmanstreet
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos

    Mrs Bostwick is such a hypocrite. Look at how she celebrated her engagement. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    rodmanstreet was starred rodmanstreet was unstarred
    Image of JohnAgamemnon JohnAgamemnon
    11/17/09

    @rodmanstreet: Likewise, every woman who pressed charges against gangrape is automatically a hyprocrite if she has EVAR consented to an orgy before.

    ...and if you have given away free stuff, I can so rob you.
     Reply
    rodmanstreet promoted this comment JohnAgamemnon was starred JohnAgamemnon was unstarred
    Image of rodmanstreet rodmanstreet
    11/17/09

    @JohnAgamemnon: As I wrote in a private message to you, that is a still from the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show, wherein a young, recently engaged couple ends up running around singing and dancing in their undies with a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania. The husband-to-be is played by Barry Bostwick. It seemed an obvious reference for a story about a bride named Bostwick having her picture taken in her underwear. I was neither blaming the victim nor slutshaming; I was merely making a tongue-in-cheek reference to a cult classic movie. For framing the joke with the word "hypocrite" I do apologize. Perhaps the sarcasm did not translate over the internet, or maybe the picture and the reference were too obscure. You can't win them all.
     Reply
    Edited by rodmanstreet at 11/17/09 3:21 PM rodmanstreet was starred rodmanstreet was unstarred
    Image of PoisonPixie PoisonPixie
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    Doesn't Madonna look awesome here...gritty and sexy and dirty. Whenever I see these photos I miss the old Madonna. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    whynotshesaid promoted this comment PoisonPixie was starred PoisonPixie was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/17/09

    @PoisonPixie: Off topic - I saw a Youtube video of her first performance at Danceteria a bazillion years ago, and it was easy to see how she became famous. Even with shitty production values and lame choreography, she was magnetic. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    Deal with my mother-in-law offering your apartment to wedding guests* a week-long stay in your apartment while you're on your honeymoon and THEN you can talk to me about wedding PTSD.

    *Guests WE didn't invite, btw. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of queenjulie queenjulie
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    That studio's portfolio gave me PTSD because I am now painfully aware of the fact that I am not incredibly gorgeous, incredibly wealthy, or living in Manhattan. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    bluebears promoted this comment queenjulie was starred queenjulie was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    11/17/09

    @queenjulie: ha. those pictures actually sort of made my lip curl. so precious. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    11/17/09

    @queenjulie: Yeah... And judging from the portfolio, black people sure don't attend many weddings in NYC. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of msAnthrope msAnthrope
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    oh for god's sake, just hire a hacker and crash the site. i can understand being pissed off if you specifically told the photographer no, but PTSD? is everybody really that fragile now? what will happen to this woman when something really shitty happens, like somebody she knows and loves dies? #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    msAnthrope was starred msAnthrope was unstarred
    Image of fluxus flucker fluxus flucker
    11/17/09

    @msAnthrope: Right. Everyone has a breaking point. But, this woman is trivializing PTSD - an ongoing disorder that can destroy the lives of individuals, their families, and friends. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    msAnthrope promoted this comment fluxus flucker was starred fluxus flucker was unstarred
    Image of msAnthrope msAnthrope
    11/17/09

    @fluxus flucker:

    exactly thank you. the trivialization of real disorders such as PTSD is so selfish and irresponsible when people like this woman appropriate them. honestly what is she hoping? a hefty lawsuit to help pay off the wedding expenses? #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    msAnthrope was starred msAnthrope was unstarred
    Image of netfe netfe
    11/17/09

    @msAnthrope: yeah! PTSD is something you get from war, terrorist attack not a picture of your own behind. terrifying as it may be. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    whynotshesaid promoted this comment netfe was starred netfe was unstarred
    Image of Cimorene Cimorene
    11/17/09

    @msAnthrope: If someone put pictures of me in my underwear, I'd probably get pretty upset. Maybe not PTSD, but then I also don't have a history of any type of unwanted sexual contact. What if this woman had a history of sexual abuse? What if her creepy uncle took pictures of her when she was 12 and put them on the internet for pedophiles to look at? What if her husband's brother found them on a porn website because someone lifted the photos and uploaded them on another site for people's masturbation fodder?

    I'm totally shocked that people think that she's trivializing PTSD. I think that assumption trivializes the invasion of privacy and person that comes with someone 1. taking unwanted photographs of you in your underwear and 2. putting them on the internet. And then 3. not actually removing them when requested.

    When someone was taking photos of that ESPN reporter in her hotel room and the images got out, everyone here was outraged. How is this different? #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Cimorene was starred Cimorene was unstarred
    Image of Little Time Bomb Little Time Bomb
    11/17/09

    @Cimorene: I don't think anyone here is trivializing invasions of privacy. They are however pretty surprised that a claim of PTSD has been added to the lawsuit. If her claims are true, then she has a case. However PTSD is very serious and shouldn't be tossed around lightly. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Little Time Bomb was starred Little Time Bomb was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/17/09

    @netfe: Not to be pedantic, but PTSD is not limited to people who deal with war or terrorist attacks. A police officer, ER nurse or 911 dispatcher can experience PTSD.

    There are as many ways to be traumatized as there are people on the planet. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
    Image of netfe netfe
    11/17/09

    @whynotshesaid: but really, is a photo of yourself in any postion, is one of them? really? #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    netfe was starred netfe was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/17/09

    @netfe: I have no idea. I'm not a mental health professional, I don't know what this woman's deal is and I don't know how it's impacted her. It could be legal bullshit or it could be fact. I don't know enough to say, although my gut tells me that I doubt any emotional trauma on her part rises to the level of PTSD.

    I was just taking issue with the idea that the only people who get PTSD are the ones who go through war or terrorist attacks. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
    Image of LutherNipperkin LutherNipperkin
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    She should check her contract. The photog probably reserved the rights to use her work from that day in her portfolio.

    I can understand maybe wanting those photos privately but not wanting them shared, in which case that should have been clarified IN WRITING. If she didn't want them at all, she shouldn't have had the photog in the room while she was dressing, or told her not to take them.

    Having photographed weddings, moral of the story is: Write a list of EXACTLY what you do and do not want photos of. With bullet points. Well before the wedding day. Both of you sign it.
     Reply
    bluebears promoted this comment LutherNipperkin was starred LutherNipperkin was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    11/17/09

    @LutherNipperkin: But would you ever put photos of a bride in underwear on your website or to sell your services? Even if the photographer legally has the right to post them, I find it morally questionable that a photographer is posting pictures of a partially dressed bride without express permission. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    11/17/09

    @Lymed: yeah, I agree. But people should be careful about what they're signing off on when they hire a photographer. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    11/17/09

    @bluebears: Of course. LutherNipperkin's moral should be taken to heart. My wedding photographer was amazed I had a list of all the group photos I wanted, I couldn't imagine somebody not providing that list. My don't list was verbal though, but no semi-nudes that I've seen. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
    11/17/09

    @Lymed: It would probably have to be the best photo ever, also I probably would have checked with her ahead of time (and issued some kind of bribe).

    Generally I find other pictures to take while they're at that stage (since they're not really photos you'd share with your parents, friends, children). #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny was starred rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny was unstarred
    Image of LutherNipperkin LutherNipperkin
    11/17/09

    @Lymed: If it's a beautiful photograph and is a good addition to my portfolio, yes, absolutely. I've done all kinds of nude and less that fully clothed photography. Your portfolio is meant to show the quality of your work, your level of skill, and what kinds of products and services you can provide.

    BUT I would have made sure that it was in the contract that had permission to do so, and that the clients acknowledged that they'd read it and understood it. One of those two things clearly did not happen in this case. If the contract wasn't clear or didn't allow the photog permission to use the photos, she should sue the photographer. If she didn't read or understand the contract and signed it anyway, that's her own dumb fault.

    I suspect the photographer reserved rights to post the photos, and that's why the client is suing on medical grounds rather than legal ones.
     Reply
    Lymed promoted this comment LutherNipperkin was starred LutherNipperkin was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    11/17/09

    @LutherNipperkin: As you said, you would make sure the client understood. Even if somebody has the legal right to do something, it doesn't make it morally right. I'd guess that is why you make sure clients understand.

    You can't sue on medical grounds. Any lawsuit is a lawsuit on legal grounds. The PTSD is the damage she is claiming was caused by the actions, likely because it is very difficult to bring a claim for emotional distress if there is no economic or physical damage. But the posting of the photographs would still have to have had a legal issue for her to win. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of kellyhelene kellyhelene
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bride Sues Over Racy Wedding Photos
    oh yeah, I can totally see how she didn't notice, since wedding photographers are SO SUBTLE. "What, there was someone standing over there with a FOOT HIGH flash attached to his camera? Why, I had no idea!" #bridesuesunderwearpictures
     Reply
    la.donna.pietra promoted this comment kellyhelene was starred kellyhelene was unstarred
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