Jezebel 
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New York, 12:52 AM
Tue Dec 8
68 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/24/09
Bahahahaha! Tip your waitresses, and try the veal - I'll be here 'til Sunday!
11/24/09
*begins giggling incessantly*
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11/24/09
I wonder where they go to their honeymoon?
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11/17/09
1) Look over your contract. In mine, it explicitly states that any and all pictures I take at your wedding may be used for promotional purposes, on the web or in print. If you don't want your bare back shown online, either ask the photographer to step out of the room or turn around, or excuse yourself to the bathroom or another changing room so you can have some privacy. As a photographer, neither of these options would be offensive to me. Most brides get bare-ass naked in front of me without a second thought, but I've also had brides excuse themselves to the bathroom to put their dress on privately.
2) With that said, a good photographer has some common sense about what is appropriate and/or might not be welcome by a bride. For example, I have pictures of a bride's bare back, but her face is turned away. Or on my private proofing site, there's a picture of the brides panties which have "I do" encrusted in little jewels, but I set that picture to private so only the bride can see it. If there WAS some really awesome picture where the bride was showing a lot of skin, and her face was visible, I would ask her permission to put it on my website or blog, even though she already signed a contract saying I could--there's more to this than what the contract says, there's also an empathetic aspect to this. I've never had a bride ask me to remove a picture from my blog or website, but if that were to happen, it would be gone in two seconds. It's about respect and integrity. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
Women's psychological concerns are constantly ignored, dismissed, or considered "hysterical" or overreacting. Women's concerns about the invasion of sexual harassment or assault are also constantly dismissed. WTF is up with that happening on this site? Putting up half-naked photos of someone is a fucked up, sexual harassment thing to do. I'm not surprised that non-consensual scantily clad publicly posted photos are giving her PTSD. Who knows the rest of the story? Maybe she's already once been the victim of unwanted sexualized images of her getting posted publicly. Maybe there are people in her life who have seen these photos and now treat her differently, or printed up the pictures and hung them in their office cubicle next to hers, or snicker every time she walks into the room, or tell her that they masturbate to her underwear pictures every morning. Maybe her ex boyfriend raped her and has been emailing her since he saw the pictures online, harassing her and using these images as yet another way to intimidate her.
Half-naked pictures of women get used all the time to control them. Intimidate them, threaten them, make them uncomfortable. I'm shocked and disappointed at the Jezebel commenters' reactions to a story of what I see as essentially sexual harassment (at best). #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
11/17/09
I do not disagree that false charges of PTSD are offensive. But I don't see how anyone could really question that unwanted, sexualized, porny pictures of a woman posted on a website and then not removed upon request could legitimately end up with PTSD, especially given the horrifically high number of women who have, indeed, been victims of unwanted sexual contact or conduct. Given the high number of women who are victims of harassment, it is entirely legitimate, even (I would argue) logical to suppose that she might be a victim of sexual violence. So that plus this is an entirely logical formula for PTSD.
The problem is that most people are mocking her or saying she's overreacting or not believing her. How shocking--a woman is a victim of sexual violence and nobody believes her. Something new and unusual, since usually sexual violence victims are automatically trusted and believed. Oh wait, except this is a patriarchal society that hates women, so that is exactly the opposite of what is true.
Not believing this woman and questioning the severity of the trauma of this situation is the same thing as not believing a rape victim or saying "Oh it's not like he beat you up or anything what's the big deal?" Saying that she signed a contract saying the photographers could use the pictures, even if she asked the photographer not to take underwear pictures, is like saying "Oh you went on a date with him? You went back to his place? You took off your shirt? Well that's basically permission for sex, isn't it, so you should have expected it to happen."
It's incredibly disappointing to see that here (or anywhere). And masking antiwoman, victim-blaming slut-shaming comments as some noble defense of those actual, like legitimate, cases of people with PTSD (like soldiers) is disingenuous. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
When people file a lawsuit it is by nature one side of the story, their side.
Yes the article is biased, but so is the Most news posts and articles are biased in one way or another. I'd argue that most Jezebels are fairly adept at spotting anti-woman bias.
You obviously have really strong feelings on this issue and I'm sure we all respect that. Some people just don't have the same interpretation of events as you do. That will also come from their own personal history.
I do really strongly disagree that ..."Not believing this woman and questioning the severity of the trauma of this situation is the same thing as not believing a rape victim or saying "Oh it's not like he beat you up or anything what's the big deal?"...
It is not the same thing. The only thing that is the same thing is doing that exact same thing. Bringing logical leaps and fallacies into the matter isn't helping anyone's point. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
The other requirements that must be met: 1. re-experiencing of trauma; 2. avoiding reminders of trauma;
3. persistant indicators of arousal;
4. 1-3 must be for over 1 montht; and 5. impairment in important areas of functioning. ALL of these requirements must be met. Most people who have traumatic experiences don't develop PTSD. In fact, even among combat veterans returning from OEF or OIF (Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom), the highest percentage of PTSD in this population that I've heard of is 17%, which is REALLY high anyway.
Sounds to me like this woman is upset, wants her picture to be taken down, can't make it happen because of the contract she signed, so she is now claiming to have a serious mental illness. No doubt she is upset, and with good reason, but it is careless to say that just because she may or may not have suffered what can be diagnostically considered a traumatic event, she is now suffering from PTSD.
It sounds like bad behavior on both sides to me. Even if she has had past trauma, by the way, it wouldn't be correct to say that this event led to her PTSD. At most, it could lead to her coming out of remission from PTSD.
11/17/09
Mrs Bostwick is such a hypocrite. Look at how she celebrated her engagement. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
...and if you have given away free stuff, I can so rob you.
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*Guests WE didn't invite, btw. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
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11/17/09
exactly thank you. the trivialization of real disorders such as PTSD is so selfish and irresponsible when people like this woman appropriate them. honestly what is she hoping? a hefty lawsuit to help pay off the wedding expenses? #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
11/17/09
I'm totally shocked that people think that she's trivializing PTSD. I think that assumption trivializes the invasion of privacy and person that comes with someone 1. taking unwanted photographs of you in your underwear and 2. putting them on the internet. And then 3. not actually removing them when requested.
When someone was taking photos of that ESPN reporter in her hotel room and the images got out, everyone here was outraged. How is this different? #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
11/17/09
There are as many ways to be traumatized as there are people on the planet. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
11/17/09
I was just taking issue with the idea that the only people who get PTSD are the ones who go through war or terrorist attacks. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
I can understand maybe wanting those photos privately but not wanting them shared, in which case that should have been clarified IN WRITING. If she didn't want them at all, she shouldn't have had the photog in the room while she was dressing, or told her not to take them.
Having photographed weddings, moral of the story is: Write a list of EXACTLY what you do and do not want photos of. With bullet points. Well before the wedding day. Both of you sign it.
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11/17/09
Generally I find other pictures to take while they're at that stage (since they're not really photos you'd share with your parents, friends, children). #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09
BUT I would have made sure that it was in the contract that had permission to do so, and that the clients acknowledged that they'd read it and understood it. One of those two things clearly did not happen in this case. If the contract wasn't clear or didn't allow the photog permission to use the photos, she should sue the photographer. If she didn't read or understand the contract and signed it anyway, that's her own dumb fault.
I suspect the photographer reserved rights to post the photos, and that's why the client is suing on medical grounds rather than legal ones.
11/17/09
You can't sue on medical grounds. Any lawsuit is a lawsuit on legal grounds. The PTSD is the damage she is claiming was caused by the actions, likely because it is very difficult to bring a claim for emotional distress if there is no economic or physical damage. But the posting of the photographs would still have to have had a legal issue for her to win. #bridesuesunderwearpictures
11/17/09