• Courtney Love is making vicious accusations via Facebook, and both Edward Norton and Britney Spears are involved.

In one message, Courtney writes (and consider there to be a giant [sic] after everything):

IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn't have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor … i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k

As for Britney, Courtney says:

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.

Um… yeah. Shit. Speechless. [Movieline]

• In other news, Courtney Love to her band to a strip club and left them there. [Page Six]
• We've heard Britney Spears wants to get married again, but have we heard this? A source says: "She is in love with the idea of marriage. She has been married only twice, but has proposed to many more." [MSNBC via News.com.au]
• The White House state dinner was star-studded! In attendance: Producers David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg, directors Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shyamalan, actor Blair Underwood and actress Alfre Woodward. Plus: Deepak Chopra and journalists Sanjay Gupta, Katie Couric, Fareed Zakaria, Robin Roberts and Brian Williams. And Jennifer Hudson performed! My last dinner party involved plastic cups and white zinfandel. [UPI]
• If something is really good, Rihanna calls it "barf." "Usually it's ‘ill' or ‘I want to throw up on it," she says. "But barf is the worst," meaning the best. "Barf is 10 out of 10." [NY Times]
• Damn: Rihanna is getting paid $500,000 to to perform at a New Year's Eve party at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi. Can she wear that white Fifth Element bandage jumpsuit in the UAE? [Page Six]
• Things are heating up between Emma Watson and her Spanish rock star. [Telegraph]
• Usher is dating a record exec — named Grace Miguel — who used to work at the label he's signed to. And, shocker! Grace and Usher's mom, Jonetta, do not get along. Sound familiar? The same thing happened with Usher's wife, Tameka Foster. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a happy Thanksgiving: Ellen DeGeneres gave an out-of-work mom from the Bronx $10,000 and a new car. [NY Daily News]
• Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars. Then there was a fire on the set. [People]
• DWTS judge Carrie Ann Inaba is having surgery: "I have arthritis. The space around my spinal cord has become compressed," Inaba explains. "I have been locked. My neck was so stiff. We're hoping this procedure will relieve that." [People]
• The pyramid design of Lady Gaga's Heartbeats headphones was inspired by her fashion choices when growing up: "I wore studded leather jackets, me and my friends in New York. Lifestyle, grit, passion and love for music, freedom. These were the things I thought about when we were designing [the headphones]." [People]
• Beyoncé just finished her tour, and told the crowd at her last stop — in Nottingham, England — that she hopes to see them all in a year with a new album. Work work work! [Reuters]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, admits he's tried to sell footage of himself and La Lopez from their time together, but it's not sleazy: "They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it. My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity-maybe one spanking. There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me." [E!]
• Congrats to Alan Cumming, who was made an Office of the British Empire at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday. The Scottish-born actor and gay rights advocate reportedly dressed in tartan head-to-toe for the occasion. Must find pix! [UPI]
• American Idol season 3 contestant Jon Peter Lewis (who?) has issues with Adam Lambert's AMA performance: "All this nonsense about Adam Lambert's whole project being art is bogus. That idea is absurd. It's like calling Thomas Kinkade art. What a sham." [Us Magazine]
• Melissa Etheridge has advice for Adam Lambert: "Don't believe everything they say. Stay true to yourself. The only person who can answer what you should do is  yourself. Love yourself. You will hear as many people praise you as you will hear them tear you down." [E!]
• Rosie O'Donnell was asked if she's enjoying the single life. She replied: "I'm not." [NY Daily News]
• Would you like to see a picture of the Real Housewives Of NYC frolicking in the Virgin Islands? [NY Post]
• "A million fans are being invited to take part in the composition of a pointillist portrait of the late U.S. pop icon Michael Jackson… The project has the blessing of Jackson's brother, Jermaine." [UPI]
• The Official Michael Jackson Opus book is 26 lbs., 400 pages and $249. [The Life Files]
• Julie Andrews will play London's O2 arena, and the venerable Clive Davis writes: "Whether or not Andrews's voice is the flawless multi-octave instrument that it once was, she has always been a consummate professional… Besides, legends are in short supply at the moment." [The Times Of London]
• Transformers director Michael Bay hosted a reunion of the show's cast and crew the other night in NYC, and Megan Fox did not attend. [Page Six]
• Amber Rose asked a stranger in a bathroom to zip up the back of her dress for her, saying: . "I have a hard time staying in this thing, but Kanye loves it." [Page Six]
• The new Miss California, Nicole Johnson, says she once dated Michael Phelps. And! Phelps may have dated Carrie Prejean as well. [TMZ]
• "A nude photo of film director Roman Polanski, who is now being held in a Swiss prison, and his wife Sharon Tate taken shortly before she was brutally murdered, will be sold at an upcoming auction where it could fetch more than $10,000, organizers said." [Reuters]
• Avril Lavigne was seen "passionately making out with a mystery man" in NYC Tuesday night. She was seen with Wilmer Valderrama over the weekend… Maybe divorce makes you horny? [Radar Online]
• The Pussycat Dolls have broken up and no one is speaking to Nicole Scherzinger, if you care. [Page Six]
• "Nellie McKay has three loves - animals, the Poconos, and Doris Day." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Cagefighter's mummy: Nasty Jordan has been horrid to my little Alex." [The Sun]
• "She's a remarkable story… But you're on air every day. Eventually you think, 'do people really want to hear me talk anymore?'" — Phil Donahue, on Oprah ending her show. [Page Six]
• "Wait … is that Zac Posen? Wow." — Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]
• Ten years ago I wouldn't have thought about having any children at all. [But do I want some?] Yes, yes, yes. I haven't given up hope. I find I'm not as bad with children as I used to be. I see a lot of children are over-parented now, over-adored and over-spoiled. I quite like children to be left alone to get on with it." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "I think a show like this probably couldn't have happened five years ago, but I think with the success of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance and other movie musicals, like Hairspray, Chicago and Nine that's coming up, they set the groundwork for people to accept it and being excited about it. I think we're putting a different twist on it to make it fun and interesting and kind of cool." — Glee's Matthew Morrison. [CNN]
• "You know that devil on your shoulder that tells you terrible things about people and of course you'd never say 'maybe you don't really believe.' She has no filter, and it just comes right out. So I'm a nice person after I leave Glee because I get to exercise the heinous behavior while I'm in a track suit yelling at defenseless children." — Jane Lynch. [CNN]
• "As traumatic and as terrifying as it was — and sometimes I wish it never happened — my whole life changed in the most amazing way after I went through that. If I didn't go through that, I swear, you would've been interviewing a completely different person." — Rihanna, on being assaulted by Chris Brown. [NY Times]
• "Everyone wanted me to see a therapist to just talk about it, and I refused. In Barbados we don't do that. We keep it in our family, and figure it out and move on. I just put my game face on and went on with my life. But deep down inside I had some things to get past, and it came out in the music." — Rihanna. [NY Times]

• Paula Abdul will not return to American Idol. This announcement comes via her Twitter. She wrote:

"With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to #IDOL. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all I'll miss being a part of a show that I helped from day1 become an international phenomenon. What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me… It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month… I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire world and I love you all." She was reportedly looking for as much as $20 million to continue with the show, but producers were recently heard talking up new host Kara DioGuardi (who has already signed on for another season, along with Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest). [Variety]

• First we heard that Penelope Cruz might be knocked up, then we heard she quit smoking, and now a source says: "Penelope is about four months pregnant." Congrats to Penny and lover Javier Bardem! [Just Jared]
• Thank Zeus: Jennifer Aniston has signed on for a movie we can actually get behind: Goree Girls is about an all-female country band in a Texas prison in the 1940s. [Variety]
• Presented without comment: "A park bench featuring a sculpture of a nude Angelina Jolie with her infant twins is to be unveiled in Oklahoma to promote World Breastfeeding Week." [UPI]
• Madonna's old love letters "borrowed heavily" from Anne Sexton poems. [Page Six]
• Childhood stardom can be tough. Ashley Olsen tells Marie Claire: "[Growing up,] it was almost like I was in the Army. School, work, homework, fly to New York, get in at 2 in the morning, do a morning show at 5 a.m., then another one at 7, then a radio interview at 10." She adds: "I look at Britney, and I'm surprised I didn't end up like her." [Gatecrasher]
• When Jon and Kate Gosselin announced their split, they got great ratings; the new episode's ratings? Crappy. Hence the headline, "Viewers Break Up With 'Jon and Kate.'" [AdAdge]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Jon Gosselin is on the cover of In Touch, saying "I'm tired of being blamed." He says his marriage fell apart in October 2008. "Many people think that everything moved too fast, that I was out partying too quickly. But Kate gave up on the marriage last October, and the divorce will be finalized by Sept. 30." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Robert Pattinson has been voted the sexiest man in the world in a Glamour mag poll in which many of the women were obviously Twihards. [The Star]
• Spotted: Kelly Bensimon and Damages actress Rose Byrne vying for Gerard Butler's attention. "Kelly blocked Gerard from speaking to Rose and was flirting up a storm - but he couldn't have seemed less interested." Gerard found Rose later and took her to a "private corner" to talk. [Gatecrasher]
• Gerard Butler says he got involved in his new romcom because he was always cracking jokes: "I was doing an action movie with the guys who made this and at night we would go to dinner and I would be like 'did you hear the one about this?' and they were like The Ugly Truth." [Mirror]
• Chris Brown will be sentenced for assault today. [AP]
• Elisabeth Moss says she and Mad Men costar Christina Hendricks — who are both getting married soon — are having their cakes made by the same people.
  "We've been exchanging flower information a little bit," she says. "Our weddings are sort of different, but we love talking about it." [People]
• CW programming chief Dawn Ostroff says Mischa Barton is at work on her new show The Beautiful Life and has been "great" and there have been "no issues." Everything is FINE okay? [USA Today]
• According to this report, it's not Mischa the CW producers are worried about, it's Elle Macpherson, her TBL costar, who has a large role, but can't act. [Gatecrasher]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler gets kinda Sopranos-esque in this video, "The Real Housewives of New Jersey with Jamie-Lynn Sigler." Bonus points for "buh-bies." [Funny Or Die]
• The Michael Jackson concert rehearsal footage will be a full-length motion picture… if a probate judge approves the deal by Monday. [AP]
• Joe Jackson, thank you for saying the following: "I do visit the family residence from time to time and will continue to do so, however I will not be involved in raising the children." [AP]
• Administrators of Michael Jackson's estate expect to earn cash from merchandising Jackson-related stuff, which would be good for the kids. [TMZ]
• David and Victoria Beckham MIGHT be moving to a £10million home in Chelsea, London, and here are pictures of the house they COULD live in someday. [Daily Mail]
• Check out Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel in this music video shot to promote (500) Days Of Summer. It's got a '60s look and DANCING! [USA Today, USA Today]
• John Slattery, aka Mad Men's Roger Sterling, may direct an upcoming episode of the AMC show. [LA Times]
• Candy Spelling is still using the media to talk to daughter Tori Spelling. Last week she accused Tori of using her kids as "reality show props"; today she's telling Tori: "I love you, and I always will." [USA Today]
• Daniel Baldwin says of the woman who claims he left her a "hostile" message: "Either she's delusional, can't remember what's going on, or she's psychotic." The woman fired his niece, who is a nanny, and allegedly threatened the niece, saying she would never work in Malibu again. Baldwin says he texted back: "Please don't threaten my niece" and that's it. [E!]
• Former U.S. President Bill Clinton will present filmmaker Steven Spielberg with the 2009 Liberty Medal at a ceremony in Philadelphia. [UPI]
• Jay Leno's new show will have "correspondents" — Brian Williams, Mikey Day, Rachael Harris, D.L. Hughley and Jim Norton. [Page Six]
• Josh Duhamel is in talks to star with Katherine Heigl in Life As We Know It, a romance about two people "whose worlds are turned upside down when their mutual best friends die in an accident and name them as caregivers of their orphaned daughter." Cue parenting goofs, falling in love. [Variety]
• Bam Margera is working it out with his wife, with the help of marriage counseling and meds. [TMZ]
• Johnny Hallyday, the "French Elvis," fell while boarding a yacht on the Riviera last month and dislocated his hip. [Page Six]
• This picture of Whatshername face down getting her ass squeezed while getting a massage is one of the reasons I can't bear to be interested in her. In any case, Whatshisname is hoping for a quickie divorce. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which wacky celeb is certainly no angel when it comes to her hobbies? This hostess holds drawing parties for her gal pals - complete with a nude model and lots of alcohol." [Gatecrasher]
• "Silence is a powerful weapon in drama, "What you don't say and what you don't reveal can be as powerful as what you do say. My intention is to make [the performance] as real as possible but never forgetting that it's actually drama." — Gabriel Byrne, on In Treatment. [LA Times]
• "She comes to L.A. from the Midwest to find her mother [who turns out to be one of the original show's characters, Sydney Andrews, played by Laura Leighton], and all of a sudden she's thrown in with the sharks." — Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, on her Melrose Place character. [WWD]
• "In the music business in the Seventies, girls were beautiful. You were a performer, or you could be a girlfriend or groupie, but you still had to look good. I didn't have the face or the body that opens doors... Not being beautiful was an education. My achievements are down to my looks, or lack of them... I'm not putting myself down, that's the truth." — Sharon Osbourne, who says being "short, fat and hairy" meant she had to "develop a brain and personality and be fun and smart and learn to get on with people and make deals." [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to confirm or deny that. It might jump forward, it might not." -Jon Hamm, on whether the third season of Mad Men takes place two years after the last season ended. [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "A lot of his chickens came home to roost, so to speak. He had a lot of balls in the air, and they all kinda came crashing down as the season progressed. A lot more happens in season three, and there's a lot of change coming his way. Not only in his life, but a lot happens in the culture as well. So far, it's been an amazing season and I can't wait for people to see it." -Jon Hamm, on Don Draper's meltdown last season and how Don recovers (or doesn't). [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "They're fucking nuts. You have to either accept that or you do like me: You get married four times."— James Caan, on women. [Page Six via Men's Journal]
• "My music is a little more edgy so that inspired me to be adventurous. I've never dyed my hair before so this was a pretty drastic change. I've always been known as a brunette but I've been thinking about it for a long time and it kind of just fit with all of the searching with the music and experimenting that I would do the same thing with my look. The look has affected the way I dress, it's inspired me to be more adventurous with what I decide to wear. It's silly that something so simple as changing your hair could have such a big effect. I'm just having fun with it." — Katharine McPhee, on dying her hair blonde. [People]
• "I'm not great [at romance in real life] actually — my husband [musician Josh Kelley] and I have had this argument, I can be but generally I am a little, like, squeamish about being too romantic. I do love a good snuggle, but I don't want to, have to, get all verbally gooey." — Katherine Heigl. [Mirror]
• "I probably seem like not a particularly nice person, not a girl's girl. I think if you put a camera in anyone's life and document it daily for six years, from the age of 21 to 27, there are going to be things that aren't always pretty. Those are the rebellious years, the years of self discovery. I've never been someone who has conformed, and I think my response to that level of attention was to pretend it didn't exist." — Sienna Miller. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm disgusted by him. Here's a guy with eight kids who runs off to 'find himself' — well, he should have found himself a condom." — Joan Rivers on Jon Gosselin. [Page Six]

First up, a little one-on-one with Bo:

Then, of course, there's the leash tangle (and Michelle's puppy-talk voice):

And then, I swear, Brian Williams asks Barack Obama to "sum up" his dog. So they shake.

It might not be hard-hitting journalism, but it's pretty adorable.

• Armed gunman in India today attacked 7 different sites in Mumbai in a reported attempt to kill as many Americans and Brits as possible, not that they spared any Indians while they were killing. At least 78 people lost their lives. [Huffington Post]
• In addition, the FBI has information that al Qaeda may have discussed attacking subways and trains in and around New York City this holiday weekend. People in New York should expect an increased security presence. [Huffington Post]
• On the eve of a holiday dedicated to stuffing one's face with rich food, it is important to note that the number of Americans on food stamps is expected to reach an all time high this month. It's something to chew on with your turkey, and then give thanks that you're either not one of those Americans, or, if you are, that the anti-government Republicans didn't manage to dismantle at least that part of our important but much-maligned "welfare" state. [Washington Post]

• Al Franken today lost a fight to have 12,000 rejected absentee ballots counted during the recount in the Minnesota Senate race. [CNN]
• Noted John McCain fan Ayman al-Zawahiri is now complaining about the media's pro-Obama bias, while Republicans everywhere are sliently praying that he'll shut the fuck up again so they can go back to saying that. [Huffington Post]
• Hot Obama speechwriter Jon "Not that Jon Favreau" Favreau will keep his job writing speeches for Obama and his side gig in being hot. [NY Times]
• Obama has additionally launched a new website for Americans to discuss aspects of health care reform. Yes, you can. [Huffington Post, Change.gov]
• There is a woman in Ohio who keeps a blog devoted to Brian Williams' ties, which wouldn't totally be news because there's a blog for everything, only Brian Williams admits to peeking at it. He has not, however, changed his sartorial choices in the face of it. [Associated Press]
• MTV is throwing its own (televised) inaugural gala on Inauguration Night, which will be attended by "celebrities" and "government officials." This is not to be confused with any of the gazillion official Inaugural Balls that Barack and Michelle Obama will actually be attending. [Associated Press]
• Malia (10) and Sasha (7) Obama still send Christmas lists to Santa, so Barack Obama had to be careful not to spill the beans about who buys their gifts. Memo to Obama: Malia might know, but just not be willing to admit it. It's the curse of being the older daughter. [Associated Press]