• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

The teen queen will have a scene with Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones wants to look "hot and young" and winds up on the red carpet with Miley — wearing the same dress. Hilarious? [NY Daily News]

• Rumors that Johnny Depp will be replaced in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie: "Completely unfounded," says a Disney spokesperson. [Mirror]
• Just yesterday, Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman was on the Gosselin family website. Today? She's been deleted. [RadarOnline]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding: A circus. A guest says: There were so many helicopters overhead, you couldn't hear the vows." Ok! magazine made a $250,000 deal for "exclusive" wedding pix, so when paparazzi pictures of the bride popped up on Sunday, the mag had to spend $50,000 on the shots to keep them off the market. As you may know, E! paid for the wedding, after insisting that it be held immediately so it could be on the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. [Page Six]
• Ryan Seacrest is thinking about doing a reality show focusing on Khloe and Lamar as newlyweds. It worked out so well for Nick and Jessica! [NY Daily News]
• In other Kardashian news, Kim Kardashian is back together with Reggie Bush. Professional athletes for everyone! [NY Daily News]
• A second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan burglary has turned herself in. [NY Daily News]
• Should Kanye West go to rehab as an apology for his MTV VMA incident? Columnist Courtney Hazlett says "no, no, no." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of rehab: Amy Winehouse met a "faith healer" named Peter Hippolyte when she was in St. Lucia, and she's planning on flying him to England to help her stay off drugs and booze. Hippolyte says: "We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants." [Daily Mail]
• Video: Amy Winehouse rapping. Sorta. [The Sun]
• "The timing of Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland on Sunday on a 31-year-old rape conviction couldn't have been better for Brett Ratner." Hours before Polanski was arrested, Ratner announced he'll be producing a sequel to Marina Zenovich's 2008 documentary, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey says Precious director Lee Daniels helped her shed some insecurities — he made her arrive to the set without any makeup, and forced her to leave the diva act at home. "That was such a freeing experience for me… By making me look so bad he brought out the ability to never be self-conscious again, and that was a gift that he gave me." On the rumors that Mariah and Nick Cannon are trying to get pregnant, she says: "Well, we enjoy practicing." [AP]
• Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are on the October cover of LA Confidential, and inside Jon says: "The [show] is not meant to be on while you're doing dishes, it's meant to be enjoyed and savored and focused on, and it rewards that attention…" [JustJared]
• At Teen Vogue's 7th annual Young Hollywood party, Kelly Osbourne was overheard telling a friend that she was "shocked" how short the skirts of the young party girls were. [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid are called "Hollywood's Nightmare Couple" in this extensive piece. Evi allegedly self-medicated with Demerol three times a day, snorting it so it would go right to her brain to cure her migraines. A source says: "She also … believed [Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy." The paranoia that someone was out to get them, and that they weren't safe anywhere, lead to a string of unpaid hotel bills. [The Daily Beast]
• "The enormous sign Evi Quaid made last week — which accused her arresting officer of taking bribes — somehow caught fire this weekend…" [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "shaken" at the Harvard/Brown football game when security guards had to protect her from gawkers. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson is asking a judge to remove his 2006 DUI from his record, now that he has completed the terms of his 3-year probation. [TMZ]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, has announced that a major US film company has bought the rights to her series of children's books. She says: "The films will run as a series… America has been so good to me. I failed in Britain, and when I gave it a go in America I was ready to fail there, too — but they have really embraced me." [Daily Mail]
• Emmy Rossum, who kept her marriage a secret all year, will be officially divorced in about 180 days. Court documents reveal that she married record label exec Justin Siegel in February, and that he wants Emmy to pay his legal expenses for the divorce and give him spousal support. He's all, "That's all I ask… of youuuuuu." [E!]
• Emmy is currently dating Sideshow Bob Adam Duritz. [People]
• American Idol castoff Adam "Glambert" Lambert's CD is available for pre-order on Amazon, and is currently number 2 — ahead of Madonna and the Beatles. [NY Post]
• Darrell Hammond's name is missing from the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, and a source says: "He's interested in pursuing acting more, but he's loyal to Lorne Michaels, and Lorne will always have a place for him on SNL for as long as Darrell is willing to come back." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbra Streisand's new CD is nostalgic, though the recording process was not: "For the first time, she worked with jazz artist Diana Krall as producer, and did it Krall's way. She performed with Krall's quartet of musicians first, then added orchestration later, instead of her usual practice of performing with an orchestra at the outset." [AP]
• Malaysia has banned Bruno because of the gay sex scenes. According to this column, "Gay sex, or 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature,' is punishable by up to 20 years in jail and whipping in Malaysia." Their views on homosexuality suck, but as far as the film goes, they're not missing anything. [Mirror]
• Mary-Louise Parker, 45, is dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. [NY Daily News]
• Jaime Pressley and new hubby Simran Singh got into a huge fight on their wedding night, maybe because Jaime had too much to drink. [Radar Online]
• "The Inside Scoop on Starting in TV" is the story of how Lara Spencer got her start. [WSJ]
• Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl. [People]
• 90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord actually wants to be on the cover of Cosmo. [Page Six]
• "A former aide to Danielle Steel is facing time in federal prison after admitting she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the romance novelist." [AP]
• Al Sharpton and actress LisaRaye: It's on. [TheYBF]
• Police officials now have the hard drive found with Ryan Jenkins when he was discovered dead in a hotel room back in August. There was no suicide note, so cops are hoping the computer will shed light on the murder of Jasmine Fiore. [TMZ]
• Whatshisname does not have an eating disorder. [The Sun]
• "In terms of the stress there's just no comparison. For me, at least, writing a novel is a great pleasure. There is stress but it's a different kind of stress: more mental than physical. In a film you're working nights and 16-hour days. Here I am saying poor me, when I've been paid pretty well for that work, but it's a fact. It doesn't matter how much you're being paid. At my age I just feel I don't want to do that any longer. So, the writing is really a godsend." — Gene Hackman, who has quit acting for writing, He and Daniel Lenihan have written three works of fiction, and their latest, Escape From Andersonville, is a Civil War adventure. [The Daily Beast]
• "I am enrolling in Berklee College in Boston to get my bachelor's degree in music! That's how important education is to me. I plan to work with Rev. Al Sharpton because that's how important stressing the importance of education to children is to me." — Wyclef Jean. [BV Buzz]
• "I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny." — Heidi Montag on her Playboy shoot. She also says: "I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape." [Prz]
• "Seriously, I feel exactly the same now turning 50 as I did when I was 40 or 30. I am enjoying myself. I happen to think that I am just extraordinarily lucky. I am doing something that I am passionate about and that I enjoy doing. There are a couple of charities I am involved with that would appreciate a donation. But please, no presents from anyone." — Simon Cowell turns 50 tomorrow and will throw a big party this weekend. [Telegraph]
• "We're having Gore Vidal on. Larry David is booked. Those two are favorites of mine. And the usual suspects: Ann Coulter. Susie [Essman] will be on. Barbara [Walters] might be on the first week because she's the queen. Alec Baldwin- I can't get him on the phone. I saw him recently at a U.N. function. He's the funniest. He trusts me because I'm not out to get him. I'm not. Last time I interviewed him, his daughter was there and they were really close." — Joy Behar on her new HLN show, which starts tonight at 9pm. [USA Today]
• "She speaks like this weird white-person ebonics. She has this weird language. She doesn't technically read. But it's OK; she doesn't have to." — Kathy Griffin on Paris Hilton. [Page Six]
• "Come on over and see me after you finish." — Ellen Barkin to Matt Damon. [Page Six]
• "With ratings falling, this might be the last season of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I'm not sure yet." — Kate Gosselin, on her Facebook page. [NY Post]

[New York, June 29. Image via WENN]

• Police released the 911 call made when Michael Jackson stopped breathing. Jackson's personal doctor witnessed the incident and performed CPR before going missing. In addition, officials at a press conference right now report there's no indication of foul play. [TMZ]

• Michael's father has spoken to People about the initial autopsy results, saying "[The cause of death] is what we're trying to find out right now." [People]
• In the 911 tape, when the operator asks if anyone saw the incident, the caller said, "No, just the doctor, sir, the doctor was the only one there." [AP]
• When EMTs arrived at Michael Jackson's home, they wanted to pronounce him dead on the scene, but his live-in doctor refused to let them call it. It was clear someone had been performing CPR for "quite some time" and evidence of Lidocaine, a drug used to treat disturbances in the heart's rhythm. The doctor demanded that Michael be taken to the hospital even though he had flatlined and he personally continued to administer CPR at the hospital even though it was clear he was gone. [TMZ]
• Police towed a silver BMW that belonged to the doctor because they believe it "may contain medication or evidence that could assist the coroner in determining the cause of death." The police haven't't officially announced the doctor's name, but the car was registered to Susan Mary Rush, sister of Dr. Conrad Robert Murray. [ABC News]
• There are photos of Janet Jackson arriving at the Van Nuys airport this morning, and Dr. Conrad Robert Murray is said to be in Los Angeles preparing to speak to law enforcement. [ONTD]
• According to police, Michael Jackson was "heavily addicted" to Oxycontin and received "daily doses of the pain killer Demerol. Police were told he received an injection of Demerol one hour before his death. [ABC News]
• A source close to the Jackson family says they were concerned about Michael Jackson's drug use as far back as 2006. "The family believes Michael is addicted," said the family insider. "There was an intervention in Las Vegas. Janet was on the phone, but Randy, Jackie and Rebbie were there in person... Michael got pissed off. He said he wasn't on drugs. But they didn't believe him." Another source said one of Jackson's aides was supplying him with drugs and that Jackson drank alcohol and took, "straight morphine, Demerol and opiates like Oxycontin. He also takes Valium and Xanax." The source continued, "Michael is a clinically functioning addict and these are the most dangerous. They stop and start. These are the ones that OD ... It could happen any minute." [People]
• According to unnamed members of the Jackson family, Michael Jackson was given a "heavy dose of morphine" before his death. Family members felt his drug problem was too severe for him to perform this summer and Joe Jackson wanted to put Michael in rehab. [TMZ]
• A Beverly Hills pharmacy sued Michael Jackson in 2007 for allegedly not paying $101,926.66 pharmacy bill for prescription medications. The case was dismissed in a month, which usually means there was a settlement. [TMZ]
• Jackson family lawyer Brian Oxman says he was at the hospital with Michael's mother Katherine, brothers Randy and Jermaine, and sister La Toya. "They were silent, they were crying, they weren't really able to say anything," he says. "They just were stunned by this whole experience... I know that they are now all together." [Us]
• Brian Oxman says Michael Jackson's children "are doing fine" and are in the care of a nanny and staying with their grandmother. "Ms. Jackson will care for them and I'm sure there will be all kinds of discussions that will take place about the kids," he says. [Us]
• This article says Debbie Rowe gave up her parental rights and the kids are currently staying with their nanny in Los Angeles. Brian Oxman says the kids could wind up with Michael's mom. "Probably Mrs. Jackson will take care of them, she loves them dearly. Everyone is crying and it's very sad," he said. [The Daily Express]
• Though Debbie Rowe tried to give up her parental rights to her two children with Michael Jackson, her rights were never officially terminated. The only way Rowe could be denied custody is if a court determines it would be detrimental to the children. Supposedly Rowe will seek custody and "a huge amount of child support from Jackson's estate." [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's former attorney Iris Finsilver says she is still their legal parent and can gain custody of them if she chooses. Finsilver said she spoke to Rowe on Thursday but she doesn't know what she's planning to do because, "She was inconsolable." [People]
• Michael Jackson's former publicist Michel Levine released a statement saying, "As someone who served as Michael Jackson's publicist during the first child molestation incident, I must confess I am not surprised by today's tragic news. Michael has been on an impossibly difficult and often self-destructive journey for years. His talent was unquestionable but so too was his discomfort with the norms of the world. A human simply can not withstand this level of prolonged stress.'' [TMZ]
• Lisa Marie Presley wrote on her MySpace blog, "Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general. He stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, 'I am afraid that I am going to end up like [Elvis Presley], the way he did.' I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that." She writes that their marriage was "unusual" but, "I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much... I became very ill and emotionally/spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him." [People]
• "My heart … my mind are broken. I loved Michael with all my soul and I can't imagine life without him. We had so much in common and we had such loving fun together. I was packing up my clothes to go to London for his opening when I heard the news. I still can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. It can't be so. He will live in my heart forever but it's not enough. My life feels so empty. I don't think anyone knew how much we loved each other. The purest most giving love I've ever known. Oh God! I'm going to miss him. I can't yet imagine life with out him. But I guess with God's help... I'll learn. I keep looking at the photo he gave me of himself, which says, 'To my true love Elizabeth, I love you forever.' And, I will love HIM forever." — Elizabeth Taylor [Us]
• "When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now." — Liza Minnelli [The Mirror]
• "I can't stop crying, this is too sudden and shocking. I am unable to imagine this. My heart is hurting. I am in prayer for his kids and the family." — Diana Ross [TMZ]
• "It's so sad and shocking. I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy man with a gentle soul. His music will be remembered forever and my memories of our time together will be happy ones. I send my deepest sympathy to his mother and the whole family and to his countless fans all around the world." — Paul McCartney [Mirror]
• Emmanuel Lewis's rep says Michael Jackson's "very personal and very emotional" to him and he is "sincerely devastated at this time." [Celebuzz]
• "Michael Jackson is the reason why I do music and why I am an entertainer. I am devastated by this great loss, and I will continue to be humbled and inspired by his legacy. My prayers are with his family. Michael will be deeply missed, but never forgotten. He's the greatest...the best ever. No one will ever be better." — Chris Brown [E!]
• "It was impossible to look away from him - not when he was a dimpled child singer crowned with a pillowy Afro, not when he became a pop demigod uniformed in rhinestones and epaulets to command what were always referred to as his armies of fans, and not when his surgical transformations mirrored back to the culture the blurring of boundaries demarcating adulthood, sex and even race." — from the N.Y. Times tribute [N.Y. Times]
• Brett Ratner became friends with Michael Jackson after asking if he could use Chris Tucker's impression of Michael in Rush Hour. They spent a lot of time together and would film each other. He says, "I have hours of footage of us, sitting around in our pajamas, with me asking him about what kind of music he loved as a kid, what kind of books he had on the wall as a kid. When you were with him, you really felt like God was within him. He was an amazing, superhuman kind of person, but he always treated you as an equal. He would be your friend and he never asked for anything in return." [The L.A. Times]
• Harrods owner Mohamed Fayed says a Michael Jackson memorial statue will be put up in the London department store. He says Harrod's was "one of his favourite places" and Michael once asked to have his own statue in the store next to Fayed's. [The Telegraph]
• Michael Jackson will be honored at the BET Awards on Sunday night. [Yahoo]
• While performing at Glastonbury, Lily Allen wore a single long white glove as a tribute to Michael Jackson. [The Telegraph]
• "He was a great guy, a complete icon, words can't express my shock and horror. My thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family. It's just a terrible, terrible, terrible thing." — Serena Williams [The Daily Express]
• Jackson's other long-term physician Dr. Tohme Tohme says he's not the doctor the police are looking for. "It's not me. I wasn't there at the house when this took place," he said. "I am his manager and I feel lost. I loved Michael and I was his friend. I was handling all his affairs." [The Daily Mail]
• Press Secretary Robert Gibbs says he and President Obama talked about Michael Jackson's death this morning. "He said to me that obviously Michael Jackson was a spectacular performer and a music icon and I think everybody remembers hearing his songs and watching him moonwalk on television during Motown's 25th anniversary," Gibbs said. "But the president also said, look, he had aspects of his life that were sad and tragic." [ABC News]
• The House of Representatives paused for a moment of silence to remember Michael Jackson. [AP]
• In response to Michael Jackson's death the DEA is warning that more people die from drug abuse than shootings and that it is the second highest cause of death after car accidents. [Breitbart]
• In 1984 after Michael Jackson visited the White House, Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr., who was an associate White House counsel at the time, nixed several pleasant letters that President Reagan would have signed and sent to Michael. In memos Roberts rants about why Jackson was undeserving of special attention from the White House, especially since "some youngsters were turning away from Mr. Jackson in favor of a newcomer who goes by the name 'Prince.'" [N.Y. Times]
• Farrah Fawcett's doctor says she had been hospitalized for the past three weeks, and during that time it was discovered that her cancer had spread to her lungs. Dr. Lawrence Piro says, "We did what she wanted to do, which was to fight until it was over," Piro says. "It wasn't until the last days when the organ function was not retrievable that we knew, and she knew, that comfort measures were the main things to be done. The resolve in her remained until a few hours before she made her transition....Ryan [O'Neal] is very broken up about this. He has good moments and bad moments... The good moments come when he realizes that he was able to stand by her side and help her through this transition. The bad moments come when he realizes that he doesn't know how to face a life without her." [People]
• Farrah Fawcett's funeral will take place at 4 p.m. Pacific on Tuesday, June 30. The private ceremony will be invitation only. [People]
• Producer Nigel Lythgoe confirmed that Katie Holmes will appear on So You Think You Can Dance. but said, "Katie is a small part of what is going on. It's more than Katie." [People]
• Not only is Jeff Goldblum alive and well, but at 56 he's dating former Lost actress Tania Raymonde, who is 21. [The Daily Express]
• Kate Winslet surprised students at her former acting school in England. She answered questions from the students and took part in a drama workshop. [BBC]
• Cameron Diaz made her costars guacamole and chili cheese fries and fajitas on the set of My Sister's Keeper. "She's an incredible cook," said Sofia Vassilieva. "Everything was very organic. Very healthy. She's totally cool to hang out with. She's so nurturing and took care of us." [People]
• Molly Ringwald says being a mother makes it easier to play a mom on The Secret Life of the American Teenager. She says, "Well, I think that once you're a mother, you understand; not to say that people who aren't mothers can't play mothers. I think I played mothers before I was actually a mother in my real life, but I think once you experience that, there are just certain things that you just know. There are certain things that you feel comfortable with, a way of touching your child's head or a way of like wiping dirt off their face. There's just a way that you have, I think, that you don't quite– It's not in your bones, I think, until you actually are a mother. It's obviously a little bit different for me because I'm playing the mother of a teenager and in real life, I'm the mother of a five-year-old. So, it's a little bit different. It's kind of like looking into a crystal ball into the future. But, I think once you're a mother, you kind of always see your kids as a baby anyway no matter how old they get." [Eclipse Magazine]

• Whoa. Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are dunzo. She was supposed to star in his remake of Barbarella, but studio moguls wanted "a bigger star, a bigger name." Now the flick might have — wait for it — Jessica Alba as the lead. What a fucking mess. But yeah, the whole leaving your wife for the chick in your movie thing is always bad news bears. [Page Six]
• Yo! Daniel Craig lovers! The new bond trailer is online! (Why yes, he is shirtless for a split second!) [BBC News]
• Jennifer Aniston and the gang are reuniting for a film version of Friends. Why, Zeus, why??? [Daily Mail]
• A source says Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees has been hanging out at Madonna's apartment a lot lately. He's been leaving as late as midnight. They work out at the same gym, have the same agent and her kids like the Yankees. But! Madge's spokesperson says there is no truth to the rumored affair. [NY Post]
• Plus, Madonna's spokesperson says: "There are no divorce plans." [Reuters]
• The spokesperson, Liz Rosenberg, Madonna's PR flack, swears that her Madgesty and Guy Ritchie are not getting divorced. TMZ points out that she is the same woman who, in 2006, said, "Madonna has not adopted a baby, despite reports that she has." [TMZ]
• Madonna and Guy walked into a New York City restaurant last night, holding hands. Then they had dinner together. So clearly, everything is fine. [People]

• A smiley, happy slideshow of photos of Madonna and Guy through the years shows that he never wears a wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Angelina Jolie is in the hospital but "there's no urgency." She's resting and whatnot. Twins, people. Twins. [People]
• Her hospital check-in was "planned" and Angie is "doing great." [Reuters]
• Angelina's obstetrician will make a statement this afternoon. What will it be??? [AP]
• And yeah. Angie may have fibbed about her due date. [Fox News]
• BREAKING NEWS: Shannen Doherty is in talks to reprise her role as Brenda on the new 90210. Holy uckfay. [Perez Hilton]
• Christie Brinkley's divorce trial begins today and it's hard to muster the energy to care. It sucks that some dude cheated on a supermodel with a 18-year-old assistant but: Yawn. [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe says of the new Harry Potter movie: "There is a fair amount of sexual energy and there are some drug parallels. We have a couple of what David Yates, the director calls our 'Trainspotting moments'." [Mirror]
• This headline: "Pharrell Williams To Grow New Skin In A Test Tube To Make Room For New Tattoos" says it all. [Mirror]
• Sienna Miller: Seen in Prague hugging married man Balthazar Getty and yes, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]
• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong had a beachside lunch with Kate's mom Goldie Hawn, aww. [People]
• Boy George was forced to cancel his US tour due to visa denial. He's all, "Do you really want to hurt me?" And the authorities are like, "Yes." [USA Today]
• Colin Farrell has a new dame, novelist Emma Forrest. They've been together six months (???) but made their first public appearance in Hollywood last night. [The Sun]
• Meryl Streep is psyched about her Mamma Mia! movie: "It's a requirement of popular culture that you strike an ironic distance. This doesn't. It's a film about women and their whole experiences being hopeful and youthful and older and suffering the regrets that you have over a long life. It's visceral and I love that." She also says: "Women's real change in our society has been disruptive, but feels evolutionarily necessary. So now 60% of the kids in college are women. More than 50% of medical students are women. They're not at the top in government and business, but there is real change and I think that has terrified everybody. It's terrified men and it's terrified women." As a result, she thinks, "women have performed a compensatory step back". Streep starts imagining out loud what the women who have made that step back tell themselves. "'I won't be sexy if I'm this - even though I want to be paid an equal amount, I still want to appear sexy, I still want to appear fragile, so I'll lose weight.' That's my theory about what women are doing anyway." There's so much more, you should read the whole interview. [Guardian]
• Chris Martin thought he might be gay, then he discovered he loves breasts. [The Sun]
• The heirs of J.R.R. Tolkien have not received any money from the Lord Of The Rings movies, even though the studios grossed around $3 billion at the box office and $3 billion in DVDs and merch, wow. Wow. [LA Times]
• Donna Summer is making a "comeback." She has always written her own songs and her new album is no different. She didn't want to end up a "desperate housewife" so she decided to "go for it." And she doesn't plan to quit: "Ella Fitzgerald sang throughout her whole life. I have no intention of stopping." [Independent]
• Derek Jeter may or may not know what "prowess" means, but he likes the way it sounds when applied to his love life. [Page Six]
• Unlike Carrie Bradshaw, Candace Bushnell still smokes. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin vs. NYC carriage horses: A shitty battle. [Page Six]
• Will Princes Harry and William appear in a movie about "the glamorous international polo circuit"? [Page Six]
• "As a woman, if you're outspoken and you know what you want, you're a bitch. And if you don't know what you want, you're a ditz." — Kimora Lee Simmons to Giant magazine. [Page Six]
• Here's something you didn't want to know: Director Brett Ratner bought five copies of The Big Penis Book. [Page Six]
• That Russian male model, Andre Birleanu, from America's Most Smartest Model, who was arrested twice and charged with harassment and sexual abuse? Looks like his cases will be dismissed. [Page Six]
• Anne Hathaway's family tried to warn her about her con man ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri. And did she know that shit was about to go down? She left the country right before the Feds arrested him. [Rush & Molloy]
• Tom Hanks vs. Jack Nicholson; SAG vs. AFTRA. [Rush & Molloy]
• LeRoi Moore, the sax player in Dave Matthews Band, has been seriously injured in an ATV accident. [TMZ]
• Tony Hawk and wife Lhotse welcomed their first child, a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk. (Tony has three sons from a previous relationship.) [People]
• Will Audrina be topless in her new movie? Do you care? [Egotastic]
• Eddie Murphy might retire. I wish he'd quit before he made Meet Dave. [ONTD]
• Josh Hartnett will star in a stage adaptation of Rain Man — as the Tom Cruise character, not the Dustin Hoffman autistic savant. [UPI]
• McDonald's has a Devo-looking Happy Meal toy, and Devo is pissed. [UPI]
• Justin Timberlake is afraid of his momma. Justin says she's like, "'Answer me when I ask you a question!' and then I’d start to answer and she’d go, 'Shut up when I’m talking.'" [MSNBC]
• Is Shia LaBeouf dating Ginny Weasley? He's 22 and she's 17, btw. [ONTD]
• Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen: Recording a duet! [OK!, via ONTD]
• Alleged illegitimate Lohan sister Ashley Kaufman wants a record deal. Of course. But! An "insider" says: "Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali." [MSNBC]
• Today is Lindsay Lohan's birthday. What do you think she's getting from Sam? [PopSugar]

• Christian Siriano for president! I mean, hell, if Sienna Miller, Eve, Brett Ratner, Becki Newton, and Brittany Murphy all like him, surely the's a uniter, not a divider. [Page Six]
  
• Botkier is doing a line of bags for Target. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Designer Anna Sui on what she does: "My main objective was to design clothes for rock stars and people who went to rock concerts... The ultimate goal of making a show that is entertaining for people is always in the back of my mind. I also think, 'Is this collection going to be cool enough for people like Keith Richards to appreciate?'" [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• And designer Isabel Toledo on what she does: "I try to interpret things. A garden can have a shape and I interpret that." [WWD, sub req'd]

• English model Daisy Lowe (aka - bastard lovechild of Gavin Rossdale and Pearl Lowe) is like the new Agyness and everyone wants her "style." [Vogue UK]
• Marc Jacobs and Jason Preston are off. Again. [Perez Hilton]
• J. Crew: pushing accessories hard. Which is almost like pushing drugs hard. Almost. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Avon is in talks with crazy print-maker Marimekko to do a color cosmetics collection. Which seems weirdly enticing. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Yeah this coat is really cool. [Vogue UK]
• Want some freebie Ferragamo perfume? Than take a flight on Singapore Airlines. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Amy Winehouse on smoking heroin: "It's silly, but you just get carried away." Amy and her husband are in rehab at a "secret location" in the U.S. Wouldn't it be amazing if they were at Le Cirque with Lindsay Lohan? [Mirror]
• Brett Ratner isn't happy because Rush Hour 3 "only" made $50 million at the box office its first weekend... but cost $150 million. [Page Six]
  
• Former SNL star Jimmy Fallon, 33 is engaged to Nancy Juvonen, 39, who co-owns Flower Films with Drew Barrymore. It's the first engagement for both. Maybe it's early, but this kind of warms our cold little hearts. [Page SIx]

• We knew Paris Hilton got paid to party, but this is ridiculous: Insiders say she's shopping her presence on New Year's Eve to clubs — for $500,000. [Page Six]
• Is Sienna Miller dating another co-star? This time it's supposedly Matthew Rhys, from hew new film Edge Of Love. But we thought she was with Diddy! [Page Six]
• Famous for nothing Kim Kardashian says her butt and boobs are real but she's "not against plastic surgery." Whatever. [Page Six]
• More rumblings that Britney Spears will do a "surprise" performance at the MTV Awards. We're setting the TiVo now!!! [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• The President's personal secretary didn't recognize David Beckham while he was touring the White House. What, like she has something better to do than follow Posh & Becks? [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
• September Vogue has arrived, at 840 pages. The documentary detailing its conception is due next year. The documentary is called War Room. No, this is not a joke. [Rush & Molloy, 4th item]
• Michael Jackson is being sued by former lawyers. Did you almost sort of forget he existed? [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan is being sued by one of the women in the car she was chasing the night she was arrested. The lady's traumatized, you guys! [TMZ]
• Britney's former assistant, Shannon Funk, and her "manny" Daimon Shippen, have been subpoenaed by Kevin Federline. This custody battle is gonna get ugly, y'all! [People]
• Does Nicole Richie want to get married as soon as possible so that she doesn't look hugely pregs in her white dress? Huge, LOL. Also, white. Hilarious. [E!]
• This is an actual headline: South Carolina Inmate Hits Michael Vick With $63,000,000,000 Billion Dollar' Lawsuit Alleging Al Qaeda Ties WTF? [Fox News]
• Lily Allen has a Homer Simpson tattoo! Something she will never, ever regret, surely. D'oh! [The Sun]

• One report says that Lindsay Lohan is in a Sundance, Utah rehab facility which previously hosted Mary-Kate Olsen and David Hasselhoff. [EntertainmentTonight]
  
• Two other reports say Lindsay Lohan is with her mother on Long Island. We hope the first report is true! [People, PageSix]
  
• There's some cuckoo baby mama drama between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, if you care. [PageSix]
  
• Gwyneth Paltrow uses snake venom to keep her skin looking young. We always knew there was something sinister about her! [PageSix]
  
• Director Brett Ratner got a blowjob from a tranny. As the kids say, ROTLFLMFAO! [PageSix]

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, fighting? "I've even heard her telling friends things like Brad's always too busy highlighting his hair to keep up with her UN briefs," says a source. It seems like we hear about them breaking up every day, and yet they are still together. [Mirror]
• Justin Timberlake filmed his scenes for a new video away from scantily-clad models. Hmm, wonder if he's trying not to piss off Jessica Biel? [TheSun]
• Does Jack Nicholson have a crooked penis? [TMZ]
• Usher finally married his pregnant fiancée in Atlanta. We sure hope these two crazy kids will be happy together! [People]
• Hermione has a boyfriend! They drink champagne and eat lobster together! Go Emma Watson! [DailyMail]
• There's some sort of snafu regarding Madonna and the court-appointed adoption official from Malawi. Will the kid will be 25 by the time this crap gets worked out? [CNN]
• George Clooney: incurable bachelor or closeted gay? [DailyMail]
• Actress Thandie Newton admits she was bulimic for a year. [People]
• Bratz: Number 10 at the box office. [BoxOfficeMojo]

• Publishing heiress Lydia Hearst previews her new line of "Lydia" bags for Puma with the following deep thoughts: "I'm not the same person today that I will be tomorrow—I'm constantly changing. Even though it's the same bag, they're all completely different..." Right, they come in three colors. [FWD]
  
• Days after Polo announces a profit-soaked quarter, J. Crew announces it, too, is raking it in. Do we sense a trend? [TheStreet]
  
• In stage three of the ongoing construction of the celebrity-sartorial-complex, Hollywood moguls are swarming fashion industry executive suites. To which fashion insiders protest: "But Hollywood is too fixated on short-term buzz to ever understand fashion! To which we say: "Hahahahahahaha!" [WWD]
  
• Despite fashion critic Cathy Horyn's endorsement of their cargo pants, Wal-Mart is shifting its focus away from "trendy" pieces back to under-$20 basics. [WWD]

• Photographer Mario Testino has a secret crush on... Mario Testino! Or so he told crowds at the London College of Fashion when asked who his favorite photographer was. [Vogue UK]
• To the underwhelm-ment of activists, Nike says it wants the people who make its sneakers to fare better, announcing efforts to prevent excessive overtime amongst its factory employees and providing them education regarding unionization. [WSJ]
• You can buy a pair of jeans in England for the same price of a cup of coffee? Seriously? [Guardian]

We've long marveled at director Brett Ratner's ability to get women. How, we've wondered, does such a slimy-seeming, self-promoting, greasy-looking film director snag women like Rebecca Gayheart (who we don't like) and Serena Williams (who we do)?

In this month's new Vanity Fair, writer Nancy Jo Sales delves into the story behind Brett's success, which, she reports, can be pinned on his sincere, almost childlike passion for moviemaking and Hollywood history. Brett, it seems, is almost kinda...lovable! As Sales tells it, he doesn't drink, or do drugs, or smoke! He's honest about the size of his penis! ("It's not big" he admits). He's loyal to his friends!

In fact, we were finding ourselves so thoroughly charmed by the Brettster that we began to question some of our most basic assumptions about him and other Hollywood film directors (particularly those who went to NYU). Are most of them not untalented suck-ups but genuinely-misunderstood geniuses? Have we been too quick to judge books by their hefty, hairy, publicity-loving covers? Are they not megalomaniacs who not-so-secretly hate women?

Then we read the following exchanges:

"Why Dino De Laurentiis?," Ratner asks impatiently.

"His kids," says his mother, Marsha Pratts (she's remarried).

Ratner is in his kitchen, checking over his mother's list of invitees to his Hanukkah party, which is supposed to be for kids.

"His kids are 18 years old in college, what are you talking about?" he snaps.

"All right, so relax," his mother says. she somehow sounds as New York as Judy Holliday in Born Yesterday. (She lives in New York now; she's visiting). She has long dark hair and the same trim figure as the party girl who "got knocked up," as she says, with baby Brett back in '68.

"Why are you socializing with these people?," Ratner shouts. "My friends you don't invite!"

And then, just 7 paragraphs later:

Fanita starts fussing with a piece of paper.

"What are you looking at"—at, Ratner demands.

"I wrote something down," she says—it's something about her grandson the director, which she wants the reporter to hear.

"Nobody cares!," Ratner shouts. "It's talking! You don't have to read!"

"She's old, she doesn't understand," jokes Mario (also known as "Pipa"). He's a retired radiologist.

Ratner takes his grandfather's hand. "When I was little, we used to go to the movies, Pipa and I, every Sunday in Miami Beach," he says. "We'd go to see action movies because his English isn't perfect. Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hrs.—"

"He used to hold my hand all the time, Brett," says Pipa. "When he was bigger, I said, 'Brett, don't hold my hand, the people passing by think that we are in love.'"

"We are, we are in love," says Ratner.

Fanita's still rustling the paper.

"What is wrong with you?!," Ratner screams, taking it and tossing it on the coffee table.

"I'm very proud of Brett my grandson, you know," Fanita tells me.

"That's why you have your own reality show," says Ratner.

The Most Happening Fella [print only] [Vanity Fair]