A Message From the Chairwoman of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee

I peaked, size wise, at the age of 10, when I bought my first training bra — that, with a bit of a tug across the torso, could certainly fit my bust line today. Vacillating between the funny gray area of a size 32AA and 32A (depending on the time of the month), as an adult woman my breasts hardly heave, but rather… » 3/17/14 7:00pm 3/17/14 7:00pm

Breastfeeding Benefits Have Been Exaggerated

Formula-feeding has been vilified in recent years, with new moms being told that if they don't breastfeed, they could be putting their child at risk for a slew of health, behavioral and developmental problems. But the findings of a new study suggest that's total bullshit. Breast might actually not be best. » 2/28/14 10:40am 2/28/14 10:40am

Washington's Weird Bikini Barista Culture

This past December I was sitting in a Manhattan restaurant with the rest of the Jezebel ladies for our annual staff dinner. I made an offhand comment about an acquaintance who'd once worked as a bikini barista. I might as well have said she'd once worked as a frog. "What's a 'bikini barista'?" said everyone, staring… » 2/05/14 3:01pm 2/05/14 3:01pm

A Million Pink Ribbons Have Done Nothing for Black Women

Pink crap-drunk America was busy Racing For The Cure for the last 30 years, one race has been left behind in the fight against breast cancer: black women. In 2013, black women are still twice as likely to die from the disease than their white counterparts. Twice. As. Likely. That's a fucking disgrace. » 12/20/13 5:45pm 12/20/13 5:45pm

Boobs Age Faster Than the Rest of Your Body, Because Nature Is a Dick

Back when I was in my early 20s, before I became the proud, dazzling, professional, skirt-suited woman-scholar that I am today (i.e. a hungry, unshowered, still-in-bed hangover-crone who's only managed to make it to semi-vertical today despite having had to pee for literally four hours), I used to make this joke in… » 10/22/13 10:40am 10/22/13 10:40am

'Motorboating for Breast Cancer' Campaign Promotes Douchebag Awareness

Every year, millions of American men and boys are infected with douchebaggery — a soul-fatal condition in 90% of cases. While we know frustratingly little about the causes of douchebaggery, we see its devastating effects all around: public urination, the continuing popularity of Tosh.0, and, now, this latest Useless… » 10/16/13 11:20am 10/16/13 11:20am

Reddit Has Already Figured Out How to Make the New iPhone Creepy

Well, that was quick: just days after the release of the new iPhone, the gentlemen/scholars of Reddit have already figured out a way to make it weird and creepy: by using the slow motion video camera function to record and swap videos of bouncing boobs. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of boobs, just a-bouncin'. » 9/23/13 5:45pm 9/23/13 5:45pm

Fox Nation Twitter Feed A Celebration of Freedom, Boobs (Mostly Boobs)

Free college essay practice prompt: What does America mean to you? If you're the Constitution groping freedom huffers at Fox News viewer-generated Fox Nation, freedom means guns and stuff, sure, but it also means funbags. Sweater puppies. High octane gazongas. Breasts, that is. Texas T&A. » 8/20/13 6:10pm 8/20/13 6:10pm

Out Of Control Boobs Are Keeping Female Athletes Down

Breasts: are they more trouble than they're worth? No — that's a rhetorical question so ridiculous that it shouldn't have even been asked in jest, and I apologize. But while knockers are a mammalian necessity, when it comes to athletics, they're often in the way, and they might even slow us down. What's a titslinger… » 7/10/13 7:10pm 7/10/13 7:10pm