A 38-year-old woman wrote to Godson, concerned that her re-entry into the dating world, after leaving a marriage of 13 years, was being derailed a bit by her pubic hair; specifically, the fact that she has any. The 27-year-old she's now dating was "shocked" to see that she had hair on her genitals, and as the woman notes "I do look after myself (hence the gym) but I don't think that a permanent tan and Brazilian wax should be deal-breakers in a relationship. Or am I just hopelessly outdated?"

Godson's answer, though it comes with a great deal of apologetic buildup, is basically yes. She explains to the woman that the pornification of the world is greatly responsible for younger men's tendency to expect a hairless woman. "There is something hugely irritating about being forced to conform to an aesthetic ideal instigated and perpetuated by the porn industry," Godson writes, "but, like keeping one's armpits and legs smooth, it is now expected. If your boyfriend has been conditioned to expect a tidy Brazilian, he may genuinely find anything else very off-putting."

Oh. Okay then. Because men have been "conditioned" to expect Brazilians, this woman needs to have one right away. We wouldn't want this woman to have any say over her own pubic hair, would we? I mean, she clearly states that she doesn't think Brazilians are necessary for a relationship, but apparently she's wrong in Suzi Godson's eyes, as only a woman who conforms to her boyfriend's pube desires really deserves relationship status. "Though the feminist ethos of your "take me as I am" argument is perfectly valid," Godson argues, "your boyfriend's reaction is instinctive - and in the face of something that is honestly perceived as a turn-off by one partner, rational arguments simply do not work."

Look, if the guy is so turned off by this woman's pubic hair that it really is a sexual dealbreaker for this couple, that's a conversation this couple has to have. But instructing a woman to wax simply for a man's happiness, regardless of her own personal preferences, is ridiculous. Just because men are "accustomed" to a certain thing, it doesn't mean that women have to do it to make them happy. And if a man really can't handle it, maybe it's not the pubic hair that has to go.

Sex Advice: Do I Need To Wax? [TimesOnline]

If only Katie Couric's 2000 Today Show colonoscopy had had this many LOL moments. Maybe it's the Sherri-specific schadenfreude or the fact that it's the full Brazilian, but this is even better than that classic YouTube video of all those women getting bikini waxes. Dear The View, ignore her protests and please please please do Hasselbeck next.

Deadpans Wetherell of her first bikini wax, "I went for my birthday. The most horrible birthday present I've ever given myself." And, the more she thought about waxing, and the increasingly normative Brazilian (it was back in 2003 that Naomi Wolf, noting the pubic hair generational divide, wrote, "In my gym, the 40-year-old women have adult pubic hair; the twentysomethings have all been trimmed and styled"), the more Wetherell and Axelson wondered about the purpose of hair removal. What is it that makes so many women put up with the pain and expense of intimate waxing? Are we keeping up with the mostly hairless icons of female beauty? Competing with mainstream pornography? Worried about men's attitudes to an untamed bush?

So the directors got women — and men — on the record about sex, attraction, pain, and pleasure where pubic hair maintenance is concerned. Why We Wax, which debuted recently at the TriBeCa Film Center in New York, also covers the history of waxing and pubic grooming (ancient Egyptians apparently endorsed sugaring), the modern history of the so-called Brazilian (actually invented in the U.S., according to Jonice Padilha, one of the women interviewed, who is co-credited with developing the style). But the film doesn't just dwell on the psychosocial aspects of hair removal in the abstract: what's brilliant is that the filmmakers privilege the views of women who engage with the subject as active participants, sharing divergent opinions that together cover all the dimensions of the actual experience of getting waxed. The leg lifts, the "fetal position" pose, the cheek-spreading, the mirror self-check, the strange pleasure of the ass wax, the labia pain that can persist for days ("like, really bad sunburn on your vagina"), the girlfriend comparisons: it's all there.

Esthetician Mara Sanchez explains the dynamics of the waxer-waxee relationship — that awkward repartee, or that more-awkward silence — as an intense game with the goal of distracting the client. "You can't give a client enough time to think about it. We don't really need them to do that, that's just engaging them so that they don't rip your hair out when you rip their hair out. Get it?" It's also important to be speedy. "You're like, SchchchhrrripSripSssschriiipRip. Next leg, please."

It's awesome to hear so many women talking about how they feel about their vaginas as they wax, trim, and regrow. One woman compares her vagina, post-wax, to Jabba the Hut. Another revels in feeling "every hill and bump." Someone says the phenomenon of women getting "a shiny 'giny" to please their husbands is creepy. Another says her husband doesn't care. An impressed dude says, of his wife, "She went from a jungle to a cathedral." One subject offers this advice: "If you don't want to wax, don't wax. Don't! Let it flow. Get designs on it. Dread that shit."

Why We Wax [Film Website]
Why We Wax [Current TV]
The Porn Myth [NYMag]

Earlier: Benny The Tech Geek Gets A Bikini Wax
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