Jezebel: bratz

Doggy Style

Sadie — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 14:30:00 EDT

If you're worried about your child learning about the harsh realities of the economic situation, get them a "Tini Puppini," the new doggie divas! Forget man's best friend: "Tini puppinis are the most popular pups in town... They know that whatever they're wearing today, all the other pups will be wearing tomorrow!" The three dogs — Toffee (the Hollywood trendsetter), Tutu (party girl) and Tisha (French) are basically the cast of The Hills -meets-Bratz-meets-Tinkerbell Hilton — in other words, a recipe for good values. When you go to the site, animated dogs spring from a large pink purse while one of the "fashion pups" squeals, "I love my tail in these jeans!" [Tini Puppini]

The L.A. Times' Webscout blog parses the ...

Jessica — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:20:00 EDT

The L.A. Times' Webscout blog parses the treatment of teen sexuality on Ashton Kutcher's cartoons-discussing-celebrities blog, Blah Girls. It finds the Blah Girls to be realistically, "radically" portraying young female sexuality. "These three cartoon characters are sexualized in a way we rarely—if ever—see teenage girls depicted. They're not sexed-up in an exploitive Bratz way, or in a judgmental cautionary-tale way…The girls are trying to define their own fledging sexuality in the midst of our hypersexualized celebrity culture, and the embarrassment this usually leads to makes the show a gleeful satire of teenage girls' confused desires," writer Maria Russo argues. [LAT]

After many complaints from parents and educators, ...

Jessica — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:40:00 EDT

After many complaints from parents and educators, Scholastic has decided to stop offering the Bratz line of books. The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood raged against the Bratz, arguing that by allowing the books to be sold to students through Scholastic's book clubs, schools are tacitly condoning the Bratz brand of skankiness. Scholastic has changed its tune and now all books will be yanked from the roster this school year. [Perez]

Kit Kittredge: American Girl Or Capitalist Pawn? Is There A Difference?

Jessica — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:30:00 EDT

It's hard out there for a living, breathing American girl. It's a morass of mixed messages, A.O. Scott points out in a Times think piece about Kit Kittredge, the Abigail Breslin-helmed American Girl doll-based movie coming out this week. "Who are you supposed to be, or to avoid becoming? A nerd? A ditz? A flirt? A tomboy?" Scott wonders. "What kind of role models are those make-believe princesses, those Bratz and Barbies, to say nothing of the real-life Britneys, Lindsays and Mileys? Mean Girls, Gossip Girls, Girls Gone Wild, Girl Power, You go, girl! What's a girl to do?" And considering the pervasive skankiness of Bratz and their ilk, the American Girls franchise seems like a bastion of true childhood in an increasingly sexualized marketplace. But, as Scott painstakingly notes, it's still part of the marketplace. Jeannette Catsoulis, reviewing Kit for the IHT perfectly summarizes the intrinsic hypocrisy in this Depression-era film. "When you consider that a Kit doll, complete with book and accessories, will currently run you $105, the movie's insistence on the nobility of the indigent might be a tad more difficult to stomach."

And speaking of stomachs, Breslin has the notable lack of one in Kit. I received an alarmed missive from my mother (email subject: "A Beef") about this very issue last week. "Having just looked at Little Miss Sunshine, I was appalled today to see a picture of Abigail Breslin. I was happy to see she has a new movie (Kit Kittredge - from the American Girls franchise). BUT they have made her lose weight and dye her hair. She looks now like one of those girls she was mocking in Sunshine. It is scary. She is scary. " What my momma didn't know is that Abigail was wearing a fat suit to play delightfully rotund Olive in Sunshine. Her salient point still remains: even though Kit Kittredge has a better message than the Bratz movie, it's still selling a certain commodified ideal.

But, at the end of the day, having your kid look up to a self-reliant character who teaches a bit of history is far from the worst thing in the world. Of his daughter's American Girl doll, A.O. Scott writes, "She doesn't say much, and even though her expression is always fixed in a pleasant smile, she seems to change according to the moods and interests of her playmates. She is an athlete, a musician, a clothes horse, a bookworm, a pet owner, a loner and a confidant. A typical American girl, as far as I can tell."

A Girl's Life [NYT]
'Kit Kittredge': Wholesome Life Lessons For Budding Reporter [IHT]

After This Week, We Never Want To Hear The Words "Manolo" or "Cosmo" Ever Again

Jessica — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:40:00 EDT

Unless you're living in a closet on Mars, you know that the Sex and the City movie premiered today.
Slut Machine live blogged it wearing flip flops and eating some skittles. Suck on that, Louboutin wearers.
The only part of the Sex and the City franchise that we're not sick of is Pat Field and her fabulous, gay, Payless lifestyle.
Tyra Banks revealed her plans for world domination in the New York Times.
TyTy sort of looked like a Bratz doll on that Times Mag cover; Bratz are also involved in world domination schemes

Instead of casting a black actress in the forthcoming movie Stuck, they decided to get Mena Suvari in cornrows. Sigh.

We didn't get cornrows at summer camp. We hated it anyway.

But remember, even in a world where teenage Starbucks-swillers rob girl scouts without remorse, there are still puppies who nurse orphaned baby bunnies, and isn't that a world worth drinking in?

Does This Look Like "Intellectual" Property To You?

Moe — Tue, 27 May 2008 14:00:00 EDT

I'm supposed to be in court in Riverside County, California right now. See, a few years ago I wrote this thing about how the Bratz dolls, the first dolls in the history of slutty-looking dolls to unseat Barbie for slutty looking doll hegemony (and the career ender of numerous highly remunerated Mattel executives), were actually masterminded inside the Mattel design center. Apparently they were scrapped because upper management didn't want to do anything to "cannibalize" their Barbie brand so the idea went nowhere and a doll designer took it to this guy who owned a scrappy little toy company that mostly specialized in competing for third and fourth tier licensing rights — like say, the right to manufacture keychains featuring crude electronic games bedecked in Pokemon logos — and that guy, with the help of a few more designers and a few thousand Shenzhen factory workers, turned the sketches into a multibillion dollar property. Well, Mattel is a litigious company — they were once known to sue Barbie fan clubs for trademark infringement — and when they read my story they apparently launched some sort of investigation and eventually sued the Bratz guys. Last summer I got deposed.

It was no small feat for the Mattel lawyers to track me down, probably because I had so cleverly in the interim changed my common-law name to "Moe," but after numerous false starts they finally convinced me and seven or eight lawyers to show up in a conference room someplace downtown for a few hours of grilling about a story about which I couldn't have ethically provided any information even if I remembered it, which I of course did not. As we left, my lawyer, the in-house counsel of Dow Jones, marveled at the billable hours that had been assembled for our presence alone. It was enough to fund a reality show-worthy bar mitzvah. And they'd been at this case for years!

Today the case is supposed to go to trial and I am apparently, according to an email from the Gawker office manager, to be there, although I am not, because I don't leave my house to buy toilet paper if there is perfectly decent newspaper lying around, and the thing is going down in California. But it's fascinating to read about the internal memos describing the increasingly heated battles between these two dolls: "The House Is On Fire!" one is titled; fixing the problem will require "grenades."

"Complacency will kill us," the company concluded.

But when you live in a country in which a few sketches depicting dolls with stoned eyes and platform shoes and oversized heads vaguely conjuring anorexia is multibillion dollar "intellectual property" whose protection demands numerous eight figure retainers funding whole divisions of preposterously well-educated legal minds and even holds a few multimillion dollar holiday bonuses in the balance, it's hard to feel anything other than "complacency."

Brawl Over Doll Is Heading To Trial

Barbie Sales Flatten Worldwide -- Are Bratz & Miss Bimbo To Blame?

Jessica — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:30:00 EDT

Several financial news outlets are discussing Mattel's falling first-quarter results, and most place the blame squarely on the slim shoulders of a certain doll named Barbie. Barbie, which was introduced in 1959, is now first-runner-up for the under-12 set, in part because of competition from edgier, increasingly-popular brands like Bratz and Hannah Montana dolls and in part because of the emergence of web-based toys. According to Portfolio, "Children want Web-based toys, and they want them at younger and younger ages" the magazine cites the success of interactive toys like Webkinz, and let's not forget the potential pleasures of Miss Bimbo). But the real reason Portfolio believes that Barbie is no longer the reigning beauty queen in toy world is because "at 49, Barbie is becoming obsolete."

Mattel is doing everything in its power to fight Barbie's increasing obsolescence. The Wall Street Journal reports that, in order to combat its "rare quarterly loss" — unlike last year, sales of Barbie flattened both inside and outside of the United States — Mattel is ramping up web-related offerings and is going to start charging a small subscription fee for its Barbie Girl website, which offers games, videos, chats and "digital extras". It's also experimenting with more interactive products — which aren't guaranteed successes. According to the Journal, "The recent Magic of the Rainbow, a fantasy doll marketed under the Barbie brand, doubled as a remote control, came with a CD-ROM game and featured wings that fluttered at the push of a button. 'Girls asked — is this a doll?' said [Chuck] Scothon [senior vice president of Mattel's girls division]. 'We put too much in.'"

[Image via Wilde Designs Etsy Shop]

Barbie: Where The Girls Aren't [Portfolio] As Barbie Sales Fall, Mattel Looks To Simplify Its Iconic Line [WSJ]

Earlier: New Game Encourages Young Girls To Embrace Their Inner "Bimbo"

New Game Encourages Young Girls To Embrace Their Inner "Bimbo"

Jessica — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:40:00 EDT

There's a new game in England and France for girls ages 9 to 16, and it's so raunchy it makes Bratz dolls look positively Pollyanna-ish. Called "Miss Bimbo", the game is essentially an online competition in which each registered player is given a "Bimbo" all her own to take care of — sort of like those Tamagotchi pets, but, well, not. According to Miss Bimbo rules, the goal of the game is to make your Bimbo the " the hottest of hot Bimbos," which involves dating "that famous hottie," becoming a "socialite and skyrocket[ing] to the top of fame and popularity," and even resorting "to meds or plastic surgery", because girls should "Stop at nothing to become the reigning bimbo!" According to CNN, "Breast implants sell at 11,500 bimbo dollars and net the buyer 2,000 bimbo attitudes, making her more popular on the site."

Parents are understandably up in arms over the game, which, after a launch last month, has, at the time of this writing, 204,714 "registered Bimbos." Bill Hibbard, a member of the parents' rights group ParentKind, tells the Guardian, "It is one thing if a child recognises it as a silly and stupid game. But the danger is that a nine-year-old fails to appreciate the irony and sees the bimbo as a cool role model. Then the game becomes a hazard and a menace. Children's innocence should be protected as far as possible. It depends on the background and mindset of the child but the danger is that after playing the game some will then aspire to have breast operations and take diet pills."

Miss Bimbo, at first glance, is free for registrants, but when players run out of virtual bimbo money, they are given the option to buy Bimbo text messages which cost £1.50 ($2.99) per message and give players extra dollars to spend on their Bimbos. A French man has already sued Miss Bimbo's Gallic sister site after his daughter ran up a text message bill of over £100 ($199).

As for the creators of Miss Bimbo, well, the game's 23-year-old creator Nicolas Jacquart tells the Times of London, "The game is structured in such a way that it simply mirrors real life in a tongue-in-cheek way. It is not a bad influence for young children. They learn to take care of their bimbos." He continues: "The missions and goals for the bimbos are morally sound and teach children about the real world. If they eat too much chocolate in the game, it is bad for their bimbos' bodies and their happiness levels compared to if they eat fruit and vegetables, which reinforces positive healthy eating messages.The breast operations are just one part of the game and we are not encouraging young girls to have them." Maybe we should teach Jacquart a lesson through the patented Jezebel justice system. Perhaps some time cleaning bed pans on an eating disorder ward would do the trick?

Alarm As Dolls Get Breast Implants In 'Miss Bimbo' Game [CNN]
Internet Miss Bimbo Game For Girls Attacked By Parents [Guardian]
Miss Bimbo Website Promotes Extreme Diets And Surgery To 9-Year-Olds [Times of London]

Barbies (And Barbies On Booze) Are Big Business

dodai — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 12:00:00 EST

The Barbie 2-in-1 party Plane & Ship, marketed for girls ages 3 to 8, comes with martini glasses, bar stools and a disco scene, notes the Packaging Girlhood blog. The blog makes the argument that unlike the Bratz, who also have a party plane, Barbies are adults; they may drink and go clubbing, but little girls understand that these activities are for grown-ups, not children. But is pushing drinks to 3-year-olds going a step too far? Meanwhile, despite its massive recalls last year, Barbie parent company Mattel is reporting that fourth-quarter profits are up 15%, according to The New York Times. The company has huge tax benefits to thank, but people continue to buy this stuff, especially internationally. (Barbie sales are down in the United States by 12%, but up 4% globally.) And guess what? Profits in the wholesome American Girl division are down 2%!

Is a "party plane" for blonde, plastic dolls necessarily a bad thing? Didn't your Barbies do much filthier things than have an afternoon cocktail? And why should Mattel think a play set with martini glasses is wrong, if sales are good? Check out the commercial and judge for yourself:

Barbie Shows Bratz Dollz How to Drink In Style! [Packaging Girlhood]
Tax Gains Offset Recalls at Mattel [NY Times]
Check Out Line: U.S. Girls Shun Barbie Again [Reuters]
2008 Barbie 2-in-1 Party Plane & Ship Commercial UK [YouTube]

Watch Out Christiane Amanpour: Here Comes Naomi Campbell

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:30:00 EST

So that's what Naomi Campbell was doing in Venezuela: interviewing Hugo Chavez for British GQ. Now they're sending her to talk to Fidel Castro. Is this a fucking joke? And if not, does she realize the whole Latin American socialist alliance thing is like, kinda last season? [Vogue UK]
Selling real fur as "faux": clever move, Neiman and Saks! [Consumerist]
On the heels of an ELLE redesign, Vogue is undergoing some design "tweaking" of its own. [WWD, 1st item]
Agyness Deyn is the face of — well, the whole entire fucking universe, including the Armani cell phone. [Sassybella]

Marketing ploy we just can't avoid: Blackberry has asked Karl Lagerfeld, Dita von Teese, Henry Holland and others to share their favorite secret spots for the masses on their new website The B List. Karl: likes eating tacos at La Esquina in NYC. Where they put crickets in the tacos! [Vogue UK]
Signing bottles of Armani perfume in Milan, Beyonce shared how excited she was to go to her "mum's" for Christmas. Oh god. [WWD, sub req'd]
Whoah: Over-the-knee Uggs. [FabSugar]
Coach: still doing meh. [Portfolio]
Lanvin Spring 2008 ads: you know, they said the giant tent-dress trend was over, but not really getting that vibe with this one... [Sassybella]
Valentino Spring 2008 ads: who needs plastic surgery when you've got a giant handbag to shield your face? [Sassybella]

The woman with the best makeup wins in Bratz ...

Jessica — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 09:45:00 EST

The woman with the best makeup wins in Bratz world! Babble.com points us to the "educational" Bratz "Election Perfection" version of the Quantum LeapPad learning system, which seems like it's a computerized sort of notebook filled with learning games. Kids today with their technology! Anyway, the Bratzified LeapPad is apparently teaching decimals through the story of "Superstylin' Sasha" running for class president. "Join the girls as they mix their own makeup, design the best fashions, study up on women in leadership and go on a shopping trip — all to help Sasha win the election," the LeapPad website boasts. Hopefully the skankified Bratz can learn a lesson about leadership AND tasteful makeup from Hillary's pretty purple eyeshadow [Babble]

Toy Story

dodai — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:45:00 EST

In a focus group conducted in the UK by toy manufacturer Martin Yaffe, children were invited to play with what are expected to be this year's popular Christmas toys. Seven out of 10 girls chose to play with toys "designed for boys." The girls preferred Bob The Builder Snap Trax to Barbie and Bratz. Of course, a spokeswoman at the toy company is thrilled, saying, "It seems that stereotypes... no longer apply — opening up a whole new element of choice for parents when shopping for their daughters this Christmas!" Unfortunately, there's no word on whether any boys liked Barbie or Bratz. Also: Maybe the Bob The Builder set — with working car wash! — is just more fun? [The F Word]

Kids Today Still Dressing Slutty; Kimora May Be Partially To Blame

Jennifer — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 14:30:00 EDT

We have written time and time again about kids nowadays dressing like streetwalkers. What's weird is that young celebs are, suddenly, dressing more and more like old women. (Seriously, what's with Blair Waldorf and all her blazers on Gossip Girl?) Anyway, some older stars are still dressing skankily, and they're setting a bad example. In segment on the weekend edition of Good Morning America a "real-life mom," Celia Rivenbank talked about her book, entitled Stop Dressing Your Six-Year Old Like A Skank. Of inappropriate clothes, Rivenbank says, "The moms are buying it, the dads are buying and maybe on some level the parents think, 'Oh that's cute, that's harmless, that's innocent' — but I don't think it is... [And yet] There's no reason that your child should be deprived of the fashion." Um, really? They're children. They don't know what fashion is. Seriously. And as a result, they won't even know what you're "depriving" them of it. GMA interviewed little Venus Melvin, age six, who is in danger of being "deprived." Guess what? Her fashion icon is Kimora Lee Simmons.

"She is really creative and she knows how to handle fashion," Melvin says. Does any kid know who Kimora Lee Simmons is on their own? And if you expose your child to Kimora, shouldn't you prepare to deal with the repercussions? Forget about "stop dressing your six-year-old like a skank." Shouldn't you stop letting your six-year old worship a drag queen-esque woman who invented the word "fabulosity"?

Are Young Girls Dressing Too Revealingly? [ABC News]
Ealier: Dames Down Under Don't Like Underage Glamour Girls
Britney Spears & Jon-Benet Weren't Born In Inappropriate Outfits, You Know
Young Girls Today: Tramps In Training?
'Tramps-In-Training' Author Speaks, Dodges Tween Bullets

Where In The World Is Lindsay Lohan?

Dodai — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 09:00:36 EDT

One report says that Lindsay Lohan is in a Sundance, Utah rehab facility which previously hosted Mary-Kate Olsen and David Hasselhoff. [EntertainmentTonight]
Two other reports say Lindsay Lohan is with her mother on Long Island. We hope the first report is true! [People, PageSix]
There's some cuckoo baby mama drama between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, if you care. [PageSix]
Gwyneth Paltrow uses snake venom to keep her skin looking young. We always knew there was something sinister about her! [PageSix]
Director Brett Ratner got a blowjob from a tranny. As the kids say, ROTLFLMFAO! [PageSix]

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, fighting? "I've even heard her telling friends things like Brad's always too busy highlighting his hair to keep up with her UN briefs," says a source. It seems like we hear about them breaking up every day, and yet they are still together. [Mirror]
Justin Timberlake filmed his scenes for a new video away from scantily-clad models. Hmm, wonder if he's trying not to piss off Jessica Biel? [TheSun]
Does Jack Nicholson have a crooked penis? [TMZ]
Usher finally married his pregnant fiancée in Atlanta. We sure hope these two crazy kids will be happy together! [People]
Hermione has a boyfriend! They drink champagne and eat lobster together! Go Emma Watson! [DailyMail]
There's some sort of snafu regarding Madonna and the court-appointed adoption official from Malawi. Will the kid will be 25 by the time this crap gets worked out? [CNN]
George Clooney: incurable bachelor or closeted gay? [DailyMail]
Actress Thandie Newton admits she was bulimic for a year. [People]
Bratz: Number 10 at the box office. [BoxOfficeMojo]

Bratz: Campaign To Convince Parents Movie Is Harmless In Full Effect

Dodai — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:15:00 EDT

Maybe you heard? Bratz: The Movie is opening this week. Both the Washington Post and the Philadelphia Inquirer have profiles on the stars of the film today. One of the young actresses tells the reporter from the Post, "I didn't know anything about the dolls at all. Then people, like my friends, heard I was going to be in the movie and they said, 'Oh, so you're going to be a slut doll?'" Those pesky Bratz! Their bad reputation precedes them. But don't worry about impressionable young girls watching a movie filled with tiny tops and fishnets. "In the movie, the way we dress is very cute," actress Logan Browning says. "It's typical teenager wear," adds her costar, Skyler Shaye.

Nathalia Ramos, who plays Yasmin (and whom we suspect has been coached), sums it up: "Nothing scandalous. One of the things about the movie is to change the reputation of the dolls." Hear that, parents? The movie will not be skanky!

Over in the Inquirer, the stars emphasize the positivity and friendship of the movie. (The word "friend" or "friendship" appears six times in the article.) "Moms love it," says Ramos. "There's this one line where Cloe goes, 'My mom is my hero,' and all the moms in the audience just go, 'Awww.'" So. For those slow to pick up: Kids lured in by a glamorous, pseudo-sexy doll are getting the old bait-and-switch, because the movie is not like that at all. Skanky doll; clean movie. Any questions?

By the way, a few reviews are in over at Rotten Tomatoes. Some highlights:

"The storyline is almost too easy to rag on, what with its almost complete incoherence..."

"Wow, is this movie mind-numblingly vapid and shrill."

"'Bratz' is like being raped by MySpace."

'Bratz,' The Living Dolls [Washington Post]
More Than A Doll, Baby [Philadelphia Inquirer]
Bratz: The Movie [RottenTomatoes]

Earlier: The Bratz Movie Will Be So Good For Feminism, In Case You Can't Tell From All The Shopping And Makeup
The Unsluttification Of Bratz?

Today in Bratz news: Producer Avi Arad tells ...

Dodai — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:20:49 EDT

Today in Bratz news: Producer Avi Arad tells MTV the Bratz are "X-Men for girls — it's just that their superpowers are singing, fashion, soccer and cheerleading." He left out "getting their periods and talking on the phone," but clearly he's saving that for Bratz 2: Electric Boogaloo. [MTVNews]

Britney Spears & Jon-Benet Weren't Born In Inappropriate Outfits, You Know

Jennifer — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 17:30:59 EDT

Back in the day when we were kids, we wore stirrup stretch pants and Keds. Also? The word "tween" did not exist. Kids nowadays? Well, apparently there is no such thing as a "kid" nowadays, insists the Arizona Republic. As if shopping for a teen or tween wasn't difficult enough, now there's a new category: the pre-tween.

Yes, a child goes directly from toddler to pre-tween, skipping the 'plain old kid' level altogether.

In addition, the newspaper complains, the options in stores for this age-group are borderline-inappropriate, like the "white, crocheted string bikini you'd likely see Anna Kournikova wearing on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue" from GapKids. (Marketed, naturally, for a 12-month-old.)

The usual suspects are blamed: Britney Spears, Bratz Dolls. But there's one big omission: Parents. Sure, as the Republic notes, the 12-to-19 year old demographic has more "spending power" than it did back in our day, but unless we're talking about Elle Fanning (Dakota's younger sister), younger kids don't bring home paychecks (or hoochie shorts) on their own. Memo to the Republic): Your readers are the ones partly responsible here. And if they don't like what's on the shelves for their little girls, they should take their cash elsewhere!

Exasperation Rises As Suggestive Clothes For Girls Spread From Teens To Toddlers [Arizona Republic]

Lindsay Lohan: "I Am Innocent"

Dodai — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 09:00:22 EDT

Lindsay Lohan: "Did not do drugs they're not mine." Isn't this the same excuse from like, every episode of Cops? [People]
Oh, and if Lindsay gets "the book thrown at her" for all of her offenses, she could face six years in jail. [TMZ]
But Dina Lohan swears she "won't give up" on Lindsay. [People]
Oh, hey — did you know that Promises rehab facility has a bar? Oh, wait. Joke! [DatelineHollywood]
The Britney OK! Magazine photo shoot sounds more and more trainwreck-y. Did she "flee" wearing several thousand dollars of merchandise? [Page Six]
Paula Abdul, fired from the Bratz movie? That's an outrage! [Page Six]
Scary Spice hints that Eddie Murphy's "lifestyle" is less than savory. Tranny hookers, anyone? [Rush&Molloy]

Is Jay-Z leaving his record label? Does anyone care? [Gatecrasher]
Here's a blind item: "Which toke-loving chart-toppers caused a security scare because they were so stoned they left behind unattended luggage at an airport?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
Keith Richards' autobiography may go for a whopping $7.1 million. "This is Bill Clinton money," says a source. And drug money! Kidding! [NYO]

The Bratz Movie Will Be So Good For Feminism, In Case You Can't Tell From All The Shopping And Makeup

Moe — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:19:29 EDT

Full disclosure: I am kind of fond of the Bratz. I once made a career chronicling Mattel's desperate attempts to compete with them and whichever southern Chinese children Bratz manufacturer MGA Entertainment finds to sew their little belts and handbags are a lot more talented than the ones who made my crappy Barbie stilettos. Which is good, because according to this segment from the television today about the Bratz movie, American children are falling behind on the whole "skills to arm us for the global economy" front because they are all so occupied "finding themselves" and "dealing with real girl problems." Like going shopping and trying on makeup!

The Today Show [MSNBC]

An Alternative To Bratz? Jesus Christ!

Dodai — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:59:38 EDT

We all sort of agree that Bratz dolls are a wee bit skanky. Guess what? There's an antidote to the fishnet-wearin', pouty-puckered little wenches, thank the Lord. No, really. Thank Him! Because instead of playing with mini-skirted, ethnically ambiguous baby bimbos, kids can play with a chick who got pregnant but swears she never had sex. Her name's Mary! CNN reports that Wal-Mart is testing bible action figures. Because some of the toys they make today? Holy crap!

'If you're very religious, it's a battle for your children's minds and what they're playing with and pretending. There are remakes out there of Satan and evil things.'

So says David Socha, the CEO of toy company One2believe. So, in certain markets, customers will be able to choose from fun stuff like a tiny version of the aforementioned famously knocked-up girl with her baby and baby daddy; a 12-inch talking Jesus and a muscular 13-inch Samson. It would be super cool if you could cut Samson's hair, but lo, it's made of plastic. Damn.
Wal-Mart To Test Bible Action Figures in 425 Stores [CNNMoney]
Earlier: The Unsluttification of Bratz

Year of the Living Dolls, Part III

Anna — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:41:21 EST

Are Bratz dolls partly to blame for young women dressing (and sometimes behaving) like tramps? Catherine Bennett doesn't think so. We don't either - we're in agreement with Bonaduce that it's probably ~~Typhoid Mary~~ Paris Hilton. [Guardian UK]

Speaking of dolls, what the fuck is up with this extremely creepy ad for Dolce & Gabbana's D&G line? [D&G]

Even proto-feminist fashion magazine Elle gets in on the doll-action, with a front-of-book feature about cover-girl Jessica Simpson's "Living Doll" style pegged to the magazine's cover story. [Elle]

Update: This living dolls thing may be the work of Heatherette, who went wild with the theme in a 2005 fashion show and are now pawning it off on unsuspecting, rich teenage girls.

Year of the Living Dolls.

Anna — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:33:17 EST

We're fairly certain that the title and cover image of Tori Amos's upcoming album American Doll Posse (click here to see) are a pointed commentary on the prepubescent sexuality American women are supposed to embody nowadays (Don't get us started on what this is doing to actual prepubescents).

We're thankful for it (even if we aren't Tori Amos fans) because the dollyfication of American culture is everywhere, from M.A.C. Cosmetics' Barbie Loves M.A.C. campaign, to the new Paper Dolls-meets-The Real World show The Agency, to the Pussycat Dolls, to a ridiculous Barbie interview in the new Vanity Fair in which Barbie declares herself "forever a teenager". (Um, we thought she had careers!)

Even Project Runway punk-ass Jeffrey Sebelia is being dragged into the dollysphere: as New York Mag reports this week, he's designing the costumes for an upcoming Bratz Dolls movie.

You know how when you got tired of your Barbie doll, you chopped off all her hair? Maybe Britney had a point when she shaved her head the other day.

Tori Amos American Doll Posse [ToriAmos.com]

Sexualizing Girls [Salon.com]