• Carrie Prejean admitted to making a sex tape, but there are actually eight tapes and 30 photos. Radar Online reports: "On one tape Carrie is wearing just a flowing white blouse as she touches her body in an alluring manner."

• Most of the pictures are topless and Prejean took them herself in a mirror. In others she's totally nude. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin's bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's lawsuit against Jon. This could be very bad news for Jon if he wants to maintain custody of his kids. His former lover/babysitter Stephanie Santoro claims, "Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!" Uh, isn't that usually how it works? [National Enquirer]
• TLC's lawyers are also asking the court for permission to serve Stephanie Santoro with a subpoena. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's countersuit against TLC claims the network has caused him "to suffer harm to his reputation." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's rep says the National Enquirer's claim that Jon made a sex tape and did cocaine are, "truly false... It's sad that people are picking this up." [Us]
• Dina Lohan says Michael Lohan should be thrown in jail for releasing tapes of their phone calls because she has a protection order against him that says he can't call her until 2011. "It's bullshit," says Michael. "I called the house to talk to the kids and she would get on the phone and tell me all this stuff. I couldn't control that. I have all the tapes to prove it." Just to make things worse, he added that Dina would sometimes pick up the phone clearly intoxicated and vent to him about her boyfriend and other problems in her life. [Radar Online]
• Though Rosie O'Donnell only admitted that she and her wife Kelli Carpenter are having relationship problems, today on her Sirius XM radio show she said Kelli actually moved out two years ago. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson's former manager Dr. Tohme Tohme filed a creditor's claim against Jackson's estate yesterday, saying Michael promised him $2.3 million if he could find a company to save Neverland Ranch from foreclosure last year. [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Jennifer Aniston, who endorses SmartWater, was spotted holding a bottle of Arrowhead water while on vacation in Mexico. [TMZ]
• The former girlfriend of Edis Kayalar, the man accused of trying to blackmail Cindy Crawford, tried to get a restraining order against him. She claimed in a declaration that he, "He asked me to sleep with him at a friend's house, and when I refused he slapped me across my face and punched me 6-7 time (sic) all over body." She never showed up in court so the judge took no action. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and the L.A. Lakers are being sued by the makers of giant monitors they used during their concerts and events that the company says were patented. [TMZ]
• The company that chartered the plane carrying DJ AM that crashed in South Carolina, along with Goodyear Tire, Learjet, and the estates of the two pilots who died, are being sued for wrongful death because, "the crash ultimately caused Adam Goldstein's death." The suit claims DJ AM was forced to take various drugs because of the injuries he suffered. [TMZ]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says, "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." [Us]
• Nicholas Cage's home was auctioned yesterday and today, movers cleaned it out, removing carpets, boxes, and a giant stained glass window. [TMZ]
• Brandy won't be subjected to a civil trial for her December 2006 car crash. She just settled with the last plaintiffs, the parents of the woman who died in the accident. [TMZ]
• Police noticed Paris Hilton's gate was left open and went up to the house to make sure everything was OK, since the house was recently burglarized. [TMZ]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have split up. "We're both just really, really busy with our careers, and we spend a lot of time apart from each other – so we're just taking a little break right now," said Hough. [People]
• Hough said there's no heartache. "It's a good thing for us right now," she said. [Us]
• Russell Brand says he's not sorry for leaving lewd messages on actor Andrew Sachs' answering machine last year. "I would've done nothing differently. I apologise for the thing I did wrong to the person I did it to but the whole subsequent scandal was funny, it is funny I think. It's just rhubarb and guff," he says. [The Mirror]
• Stephanie Pratt pled not guilty to DUI today and her lawyer said she'll check into rehab. [TMZ]
• NeNe Leakes says she and Kim Zolciak are "Trying to be peaceful with each other... Kim and I have an up-and-down relationship. Don't be surprised if we have a falling out again. That's just how we are." [People]
• Amanda Peet says she'd like to work with her 2012 co-star John Cusack again in a romantic comedy. "He's brilliant, he's just a brilliant actor, so he can do anything," Peet said, "but I do feel like it would be fun if we could do something that's more comedic since we both love that." [CBS News]
• In Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's new book they say Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt really know how to manipulate the media, but they say they don't want to annoy Brangelina. "We wouldn't want to piss them off. She might steal Spencer-you know, because she steals people's husbands!" says Heidi, "But seriously, we'd love to sit down and discuss fame with them. Consider this your formal invitation, Brangelina. Let's hang out sometime. We'll be SpeidiLina!" [Playboy]
• Speidi also told Playboy that in 2010 they plan to "adopt an African baby, date Vince Vaughn, shave our heads, pretend Spencer is trapped in a balloon and have octuplets." [Us]

[Beverly Hills, December 28. Image via Flynet]

• Britney's big eff you to her (chef) dad: Skipping dinner: "Britney thinks that if she doesn't eat much she will lose weight, then people will notice," an insider says. [MSNBC]

• Madonna is honoring Guy Ritchie's request to return to the UK for the holidays, so he can see the kids. But: Surprise! She's bringing A-Rod with her. Merry Christmas! [The Sun]
• Scarlett Johansson is threatening to sue Cosmopolitan UK over fabricated quotes about her marriage to Ryan Reynolds. [Guardian]
• Here's the thing: British Cosmo claims that the story written by Rebecca Winters Keegan had an "additional interview" by Francesca Williams. "Francesca Williams" is a pseudonym, and the "interview" was done at a press junket for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, on Aug. 4, when ScarJo wasn't even married. WTF. [WWD]
• Even Queen Elizabeth is feeling the effects of the crappy economy: They're serving leftovers at Buckingham palace. [Page Six]
• Skidoosh! Jack Black will be on a special post-Super Bowl episode of The Office! [UPI]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber's newborn son has a name! Please give a warm welcome to Samuel Kai Schreiber. [People]
• January Vogue is all, "Yes We Can… Put Anne Hathaway on the cover, smiling like she's high on glue." [ONTD]
• By the by, Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, has agreed to repay more that $3.6 million back to those he ripped off in a real estate scam. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Anthony Kiedis narrowly escaped kidney failure? [Gatecrasher]
• The news about Nicole Richie getting music advice from Rihanna and Kelly Osbourne? False. But! Nicole does eventually want to record an album. "Right now I have a lot on my plate," she says. "I've really been working hard – going on auditions for acting, doing design for my line, and being a mom – so that pretty much takes up my days." [People]
• Benji Madden and Paris Hilton were seen having a "quiet conversation" at the grand opening of the Dolce & Gabbana boutique on Robertson Boulevard hosted by Rachel Bilson. (?) Are they getting back together? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Someone besides the "Saudi Princess" was there in the Ruffalo death: Another person was arrested one day after Scott Ruffalo, Mark Ruffalo's brother, was shot; but he was released three days later without being charged. [TMZ]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have settled their dispute with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over that massive overdose that almost killed their twin babies. The Quaids will get $750,000, subject to court approval. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which daughter of a sports legend made a sex tape with two dudes when she was just 16? Lets hope this doesn’t hurt her (non-existent) showbiz career." [Gatecrasher]
• Anti-Scientology protesters tried to make a scene outside the premiere of Tom Cruise's new flick, Valkyrie, but they had the wrong location, whoops. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile, Katie Holmes attended the Christmas party in her NYC building, because she is a good neighbor. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh: Uma Thurman's beau, Arpad Busson, is among those swindled by Wall Street deal-maker Bernard Madoff. He lost a lot. [Daily Mail]
• Brandy's 2006 car crash will not go away: A man was was injured in the multi-car pileup is suing Brandy… and the lady who died in the wreck. [TMZ]
• Isaiah Washington is now a citizen of Sierra Leone. [Perez Hilton]
• Click for video of Emma Watson, who says, after Harry Potter ends, "I think I will be ready to do other things…" but: "People just think of me as Hermione." [Guardian]
• Axl Rose wrote a 4,584-word open letter over the weekend and posted it on his band's website; he talks about Slash, the media, Chinese Democracy, and: "I don't see myself as solely Guns, but I do see myself as the only one from the past making the effort to take it forward whether anyone approves or not and giving beyond what many would or fight for to do so...I don't feel any reason whatsoever I should have to throw what I've not only worked for but fought and suffered for away because some hurt, angry, betrayed, misguided and lied to people with a lynch mob mentality, joined by others who could care less (especially in the media), enjoying the controversy and hate, choose one over the other regardless of what's right because they want what they want…" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Tim McGraw says despite rumors, he is not running for Governor of Tennessee in 2010. Maybe later in life, though: "I think I gotta get a lot smarter between now and then!" [People]
• Emma Thompson says her husband is so cheap: "He makes Oliver Cromwell look like Imelda Marcos on a spending spree in the Egyptian bit of Harrod's with Elton John's credit card." She adds: "When I whimper as I watch him pulling his ancient, baggy and fake Calvin Klein pants up over his perfectly formed six-pack to his chin, he snaps 'Oh, stop it. These'll be perfect for the next five years.'" [Telegraph]
• Look for Jennifer Lopez to star in a romcom called Plan B, in which a single woman conceives twins through artificial insemination (her Plan B) only to meet the man of her dreams (her Plan A) on the very same day. OMG what to do? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Reese Witherspoon will star in an untitled project by James L. Brooks, known for Broadcast News, Terms of Endearment and Spanglish. [Variety]
• Six minutes, six minutes, six minutes: Doug E. Fresh is facing triple foreclosure. [US News & World Report]
• Hoochie coochie yaya mama: The Labelle ladies  Patti LaBelle, Nona Hendryx and Sarah Dash  are back, playing a show at Harlem's Apollo Theater Friday and planning a 2009 tour. [USA Today]
• A jury says that three women who own Oscars won by silent film star Mary Pickford cannot sell them; Pickford never wanted the statuettes to be sold. But! Imagine the price those things would fetch? [Yahoo News via AP]
• Kirk Douglas, 92: The oldest celebrity blogger on MySpace. [Reuters]
• Peter Falk has Alzheimer's disease and can no longer run his own life. [TMZ]
• Hollywood private eye Anthony Pellicano's been sentenced to 15 years in prison for spying on the rich and famous. [WSJ]
• El oh el: "A contaminated monkey skull, termite-infested statues and other African artifacts of the so-called reality television show Survivor will not be allowed into the United States." Customs agents seized an bunch of stuff CBS was trying to ship from the African nation of Gabon back to the U.S. [CBS News]
• Mickey Rourke has ordered his tux for awards season: "It's got to have some pink in it," he says. "You're not going to see me ever in just black and white." [USA Today]
• "Brooklyn gets a lot of love. It's time for the Bronx to get a little bit of love too."  Pete Wentz. [Time]
• "I'm still kind of embarrassed to say it, but I had to go and see a therapist for many years and work really hard to find out what made me short circuit. There were just too many things in me that were broken that I didn't know how to fix, so I love my therapist because he took 13 years to sit there with me. I was very ashamed of seeing a therapist because I thought only crazy people went, and then, after about nine years, I asked him, 'Well, was I really crazy?' And he nodded and said, 'You were, but not any more.'"  Mickey Rourke. [Daily Express]
• "I felt the show could not go on any further without having the first black bitch on television. And he agreed."  Diahann Carroll on her conversation with Aaron Spelling about Dynasty. [Telegraph]
• "There are bands that I got into when I was 15, when I was mad at my dad and just wanted to be different. I don't think I'd give those bands half a chance now. But I hold some kind of nostalgia for them that I won't let go. Bands like Minor Threat and Black Flag. If someone just gave that stuff to me and I didn't have any of the associations that went along with punk rock or the angst, do I think that I would just go, Hey, I like this song, as opposed to 'Umbrella' by Rhianna? I'm not sure. I think I would probably go with 'Umbrella.' I'm probably going to get shot for saying that, but it's the truth."  Pete Wentz. [Time]
• "My mates are in a totally different place. I’ve grown up so much over the last few years, and they are still all into going out, and dancing and taking drugs, and they haven’t got work at five in the morning. I hang out with much older people, I go for dinners at posh places and talk about art! I haven’t really talked about this but when I decided I wanted to have a baby, I made a decision to change my life."  Lily Allen. [Spectator]
• "I'm a foodie. I like the best of the best, from sushi at Nobu to cheesecake at Junior’s in Brooklyn."  Jay-Z. [Gatecrasher]

• Okay, so they're saying Beyoncé had a little armpit hair at the Cadillac Records premiere. 1) Who cares? 2) Can you even see it? [Mirror]
• A reader points out you can barely see Beyoncé's pit hair in Perez's pictures, though on TMZ, her pits seem especially hirsute. Photoshop of horrors? [Perez Hilton, TMZ]
• Surely when Kanye West said that Beyoncé is "just as great, if not greater, than artists we had in the past. She’s probably greater than Tina Turner," he had not seen this. [Perez Hilton]
• Tina Turner put on a show in New York right after being hospitalized for having a very high fever. Amazing. [Page Six]

• William Balfour, the man accused of killing Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew, is innocent, says William Balfour's lawyer. [People]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil, failed a drug test, so he's headed back to prison to be Blake Incarcerated again. [Daily Mail, Mirror]
• Here's the thing: If Blake had stayed in prison instead of going to rehab as part of an early release, he'd be out at the end of the month. Now he could be in jail until 2010. Whoops! [The Sun]
• Remember how Miley Cyrus said she was "embarrassed" by her Vanity Fair issue with those suggestive Annie Leibovitz pictures? Well she told Scotland's Daily Record: "Everyone outside of America liked it a little bit more because that's more like the style, but the States are really conservative." And! "I would love to be a photographer. She was amazing and so talented and her lighting... I would love to work with her again. But I realize I'm just a kid." [ONTD]
• Madonna was in Buenos Aires yesterday, where she met with Argentine President Cristina Fernandez as well as former guerilla hostage Ingrid Betancourt. [USA Today]
• Twilight's Kristen Stewart will play Joan Jett in biopic The Runaways. Do we approve of this casting? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her new clothing line: "Do I draw? No. Then again, nor do lots of designers. But I put it all on myself and walk around in it, and I know what feels comfortable. I know how a dress should sit. I’ve worn so many and when I see the photographs I think, crikey, my boobs are up round my neck again because the corsets are too short and not cut high enough." Ooh, and: "In these recessionary times, and at these prices, women are looking for something that will be an investment, aren’t they?" [Mirror]
• "I was never that good a singer, but I think I am good at fashion."  Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown are being sued by a photographer, who claims he was beaten and robbed of his $3,000 camera after taking a picture of the couple in May. Did the singers' bodyguards go ballistic? [TMZ]
• Hockey star and Vogue intern Sean Avery has been suspended by the NHL for making "inappropriate comments." He said: "I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," referring to ex girlfriends Elisha Cuthbert and Rachel Hunter, who are both dating other players. [AP, Gawker]
• A sneak peek at the season premiere of Lost! Drama for Kate and not-so-little-baby Aaron, involving the nature of their relationship… [LA Times]
• Christina Aguilera wears a heart-shaped locket with her son Max's name on it and a tiny drop of human blood. She doesn't say whose blood it is, but does claim: "I love the symbolism of the blood droplet. It's like Max pierced my heart." [Perez Hilton]
• Naomi Watts plans to get naked in the name of art. [Daily Express]
• First Alyson Hannigan, now How I Met Your Mother costar Cobie Smulders is pregnant, too. Something in the water? [MSNBC]
• Pete Wentz admits that getting Ashlee Simpson knocked up was a "happy accident." [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge has written a blog post in which she says: "I just want to put it on record that never did I EVER call Lauren a 'slut,' 'bad friend,' 'shady person,' etc. I simply asked her a question and that’s how she interpreted it. I didn’t go around town running my mouth either." Plus: "Justin and Lauren treating me like I wasn’t worthy of an explanation was almost worse than the rumor itself, and it only got worse the harder I tried to get a genuine answer." And! as for JustinBobby: "His inexcusable behavior has become somewhat expected at this point. And I just want to say that if I were looking for a serious relationship, I would definitely be looking elsewhere!" [People]
• Zoolander sequel: Good idea? Not sure. Me and my friends have been too busy sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkeys for the past two weeks, tripping on acid. Changed our whole perspective on shit. [ONTD]
• CBS has a midseason series called Game Show In My Head, a reality show produced by Ashton Kutcher. Contestants must perform "embarrassing and hilarious" tasks in front of strangers to earn cash. [NY Times]
• VH1 is ordering up 8 episodes of Tough Love, a reality series from Nancy Juvonen and Drew Barrymore's Flower Films. The premise: A group of women in a house get "ready" to meet Mr. Right by having their destructive dating habits "reshaped" at "tough love boot camp." [Variety]
• Johnny Depp's production company has acquired the screen rights to In The Hand Of Dante, a Nick Tosches novel. [Variety]
• Tyler Perry was in court over allegations that he stole the material for his blockbuster film Diary of a Mad Black Woman from a playwright named Donna West. [Yahoo News]
• Donny Osmond on gay marriage: "There are many gay individuals that are members of our church. I know many of them. In fact, some of my best friends are gay. You ask how I react regarding their marriages. Well, I do support our Church leaders who say that we can accept those with gay tendencies in our church as long as they do not act upon their temptations. Everyone has tendencies to succumb to temptation, but we all have the same standard given to us by our Father in Heaven. Whether we may be tempted to be immoral with members of our own sex or of the opposite sex, we are expected to live chaste lives." [Joe. My. God., Donny.com]
• Dylan McDermott, who married his wife Shiva Rose in 1995 and = with whom he has two children, will be single again on January 2, when their divorce is final. New year, new you. [TMZ]
• Kristin Chenoweth is working on a memoir, due in stores April 2009. [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais answers reader questions, and talks about the Beckhams being in an Extras special. [The Sun]
• Brandy, who has not recorded anything for four years, has a new album, out December 9. She still faces a wrongful death lawsuit which goes to trial in April, stemming from a car accident in which another driver died. Says she: "What I experienced in the past couple of years was tough, but I had to face it and find the strength to move forward. Connecting back with music has definitely helped me through everything. Once I got back in the studio, the butterflies went away." [Yahoo News]
• Julianne Hough and her boyfriend are "talking marriage" but are not engaged. [People]
• Gary Coleman was in court yesterday, facing a disorderly conduct charge from that Utah incident outside of a bowling alley. He paid $100, case closed. [ET]
• What's a Hollywood lawsuit without mentioning the name Bruce Willis? [TMZ]
• Former Playmate Shauna sand claims she was choked, punched and thrown across the room in front of her kids by her husband, Romain Chavent. She got a restraining order against him yesterday and the paperwork alleges that the Frenchman hit her in the breasts when she'd just had reconstructive surgery. [TMZ]
• Donald Trump is mad at his brother Robert, since Robert's getting divorced but failed to get a pre-nup. Ouch. [Page Six]
• "I have a passion for words. That has always been in me, and I wanted to see if I could come up with some interesting phrases. I wanted to make people laugh a little and to tell some good stories."  actor Christopher Plummer, whose memoir is "engaging." [WSJ]
• "Nobody really wants to recognize that Beyoncé is a fucking living legend."  Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• "Every investor and financier turned down this film because of Mickey Rourke, but I wouldn't do the film without him."  Director Darren Aronofsky, on The Wrestler. [Page Six]
• "Some actors take drugs, drink, and act crazy to light a fire within them; others take drugs, drink, and act oddly to put out the fire in them. Mickey [Rourke] is one of those actors."  Alec Baldwin. [Page Six]
• "It is fun, obviously, to kiss Beyoncé. I insisted on a lot of takes."  Adrien Brody, on his role in Cadillac Records. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I got my gig late, got married late, had my kid late – and none of it came a minute too soon. All my life I'd had this problem with following through, not feeling that I was worth it. Not having a mother makes you think, 'If only I'd been better, she wouldn't have left me.'"  Mariska Hargitay. [People]
• "I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book The Da Vinci Code came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times."  noted scholar Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "I'm planning an album of all these great songs from the '60s that I've never covered before. It was such a magical time for music - groups like The Beatles, the Hollies, the Zombies, the Kinks, the Stones and singers like Dylan and Otis Redding… I want to pay tribute to a time when I used to listen to music on my little transistor radio or on my AM radio in my Ford Mustang."  Cher. [Page Six]

• Aww, lookit: BritBrit on the cover of Rolling Stone, looking healthy and happy. She says: "I feel like an old person now. I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don't go out or anything." Oh! But Britney did go on a date recently, and took her assistant and a manager's friend with her. "Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad," she says. "He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. So I had to get dessert first." Plus! Her kids "are starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy." [ONTD, USA Today, The Sun]
• With good news must come bad: Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital after screaming fight with Blake Formerly Incarcerated. [The Sun]
• Why is Kate Moss all scratched up and bruised? [Daily Mail]
• Click to see Lindsay Lohan sneak vodka into her drink: Caught on camera! [The.Life Flies]

• The Boy George trial has begun! A Norwegian male escort claims he was chained to the wall and beaten by the former Culture Club singer. The court heard about sex toys, leather straps, cocaine: The usual. [Daily Mail, BBC News]
• In his first interview since the plane crash, Travis Barker explains why he has filed a lawsuit: "If something goes wrong that's not supposed to go wrong or you fall victim of it, I think you should be compensated." [Perez Hilton, People]
• Shanna Moakler's been hanging out with Travis Barker lately  and she's been wearing her wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Spencer and Heidi didn't just elope: They got married on November 20. They were able to keep the wedding secret until this week. The ceremony was held on the beach in Mexico, and it wasn't planned. There were no family members present and it took about 15 minutes. [Perez Hilton]
• Spencer's wedding vows: "Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person…" Oy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi "couldn't stop crying" after saying her vows. [MSBC]
• Uh-oh, Heidi didn't tell her dad about marrying Spencer. "I would be upset if she got married and didn't invite me!" Bill Montag says. [People]
• Look for all the wedding pictures in Us magazine. More in Midweek Madness today! [Perez Hilton]
• Nicole Kidman is psyched her daughter, Sunday Rose, is "born and bred" in Nashville. "I hope she has a Southern accent." [People, Sydney Morning Herald]
• Number one on E!'s "Top 10 Sexiest Women" list? Belly-button-less icon, Karolina Kurkova. Number 2 is Bar Rafaeli, and Angelina Jolie is a mere third. Scarlett Johansson is chopped liver. [Mirror]
• Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance: Daddy-to-be! His wife Lindsey is expecting a child in summer 2009. A tiny nü-goth emo kid? [NY Times]
• Madonna: "I'm sad about my personal life, but I feel very blessed and very lucky that I have the opportunity to do what I do in my professional life. It would be horrible if I was just thinking about getting a divorce and had nothing to do." Lord, imagine if she had nothing to do??? [AP]
• In an e-mail, A-Rod's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Cynthia, writes: "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound, soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna. She called and he ran on her command back to New York City… Gross!" A source says: "Alex likes a woman with a strong hand. He likes to be told what to do. He's a bit of a cipher." [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise admits that his past erratic behavior was maybe not endearing. "There are things that I could have done better," he says. I was surprised at the criticism but it brought everyone closer together: Katie’s entire family and my family." Also, he says: We’ll have more children, I’m saying this, but Kate’s not here!" On Suri: "She’s happy and fun. She’ll just wave to people in the street." [Mirror]
• Oh, plus: "I have to say some of those paparazzi shots of my daughter are incredible," Tom says. Agreed! These snaps of Suri eating a cupcake are brain-exploding cuteness. [Daily Mail]
• Joel Madden is "thrilled" his friends Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz have a kid. "They are going to be great parents. They both have really big hearts." [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Joseph Gordon Levitt: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon says she doesn't know why there are rumors that she didn't get along with Vince Vaughn while shooting Four Christmases… not that we ever heard those rumors. She says: "We're very good friends and very much partners on this movie. We decided to produce it together and we re-wrote the script together and every day was like: 'How are we going to do this?' 'What are we going to do now?'" Related: The flick looks shitty. [UPI]
• Celebrities blog. [Reuters]
• Simon Cowell and his ex, Terri Seymour, talk five times a day? [The Star]
• Oh and Terri denies that Simon paid her off after they broke up: "I was horrified when I read that he’s supposed to have given me $10m or whatever. I was like, ‘Why?’ I’ve worked myself since I was 12 years old. I’ve always been very independent and I’m lucky that I still work like I do." [Mirror]
• Jude Law and Sadie Frost ran into each other at a party, but kept a frosty distance, heh. [The Sun]
• Julianne Hough: Looking to be a pop star now that she's hung up her Dancing shoes. [People]
• Speaking of Dancing With The Stars, Joey Fatone talks shit about the contestants: "Kim Kardashian, ugh, she has no personality at all. It was painful to watch. Lance Bass can't point his toe for shit… he had to have two Red Bulls before doing the jive." [Page Six]
• America's Next Top Model is thisclose to getting renewed for a 13th cycle. [Yahoo News]
• Is Paris Hilton in denial about her breakup with Benji Madden? "Right now we’re just taking a break,” she told Life & Style magazine. "We both love each other very much, and we’ll see what happens in the future. My work schedule is out of control, so it’s hard for us to have time for each other. It’s going to be really hard being alone during the holidays, but I’m lucky to have a great family." [MSNBC]
• Paris, who was dumped via voicemail earlier this month, talked about how much she loves Benji on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. She should have dedicated a song to him, old-skool steez. [Mirror]
• Everyone is over Paris anyway, she was booed at a club in Hollywood this weekend. [Page Six]
• Cloris Leachman talks about her health: She's got asthma, but it turned into pneumonia maybe, or bronchitis, but now she says, "I'm better than I've been in years." [ET]
• Kevin Spacey was given a special theater award for rejuvenating one of London's best-loved play houses, the Old Vic. [Telegraph]
• Chinese people are angry that Guns N' Roses called their album Chinese Democracy. [ABC News]
• Jason Lee and Ceren Alkac: Married. Back in July. Guess it was a secret. And they have a baby girl, born in August, and they haven't released her name, but we can only hope it's as, uh, unique as Lee's son's name, Pilot Inspektor. [People]
• Boston Legal: Case closed. As in, show cancelled. [UPI]
• Paul McCartney spills on his new relationship! "I just like being in love," he says. Yawn. [People]
• Legendary producer David Foster says working with Paul McCartney was "a little like being on a bad date. Ten bad dates, maybe." [Rush & Molloy]
• The new show on A&E, Steven Seagal: Lawman, will follow the actor as he fights crime in Louisiana. Did you know he was a police officer??? [Daily Express]
• Bryant Gumbel's 29-year-old son Bradley was arrested for an alleged DUI last week. [TMZ]
• The guy shot dead to the Hollywood Scientology Center had made prior threats, and less than a month ago he was arrested somewhere for swinging an ax at an Auto Club employee who was bringing him gas for his car. [LA Times]
• George Takei's husband is wondering why George hasn't been wearing his wedding ring while on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here: "I can't tell if George is wearing his and that worries me. Maybe he doesn't want it covered in grime," Brad Altman frets. [Mirror]
• Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees had a standoff with security guards and missed his flight after refusing to let security staff search his bag. What do you think was in there? [Mirror]
• James Jagger  son of Mick, with Jerry Hall as his mother  has landed his first film role. The 23-year-old is playing Alessandro Grimani, a pupil, in a biopic of the composer Vivaldi. [Telegraph]
• After she crashed her car and killed a woman two years ago, Brandy was super depressed. "There was a point when I didn't feel like it was OK to live on, because someone else lost their life," she says. "I really didn't know what to do. I was in limbo for a long time. I didn't go outside for months." [Page Six]
• Rapper Nas feels relevant because his album has a song called "Black President" on it. [Rolling Stone]
• RIP screenwriter John Michael Hayes (nominated for Academy Awards for Hitchcock's Rear Window and for Peyton Place), dead at age 89. [AP]
• "Some of the women who became my friends while I was incarcerated have visited with me. There are some very interesting women there of great value to society, and I keep in contact with them. We have some broken systems in this country - one is the prison system."  Martha Stewart. [Page Six]
• "People want to know what Van Damme is. I'm a mass-audience guy. When I go to Russia or Brazil, the people all come en masse, because I'm a guy from the people who made me famous, not the papers or the studios."  Jean-Claude Van Damme. [USA Today]
• "The way I see it is that Peaches [Geldof] is a very lost, sad little girl. And at one point I was like that, so I don’t want to judge. Instead of everyone picking on her, they should try to help. It’s all a bit sad to be honest with you. f she loves him then good for her, but if it was done for attention, it’s a bit sad. I did stuff like that when I was 19 as well, like get a tattoo because it pissed my mum off. It’s just a great big cry for help. Maybe all she needs is a hug."  Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]
• "I think there is too much of it. You can't turn on the telly without somebody being judged by four people, whether they are on ice, or on the stage or in the jungle. I'm not very keen on it. I watch it  like everybody. It's compulsive viewing but so is a traffic accident. It doesn't encourage creativity."  Paul McCartney, on reality TV. [Telegraph]
• "Beyonce is great, so lovely and down to earth and talented. She’s definitely inspiring. I might go into acting like her if the right thing comes along, like a small movie part. I’m working on my clothing line."  Leona Lewis. [The Sun]
• "Actually I'm not in the tabloids anymore. I am sometimes, but I've watched the culture change. I'm old hat. And I love it. You know what it is with me? This is something I'd like to clarify. I've heard people say, 'Because you hide, it makes you seem ungrateful.' The mere fact that these - I'll use the word piles - are earning money from exploiting my image is the only reason I hide myself or am not a photo-friendly person. I do not like the way they conduct themselves. I think they're disrespectful and dangerous. The reason I don't pose or smile or that I seem mad is that I don't want them to make a living off my private life."  Leonardo DiCaprio on "boycotting" the paparazzi. [Daily Express]

• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Dunzo! [TMZ]
  
• OMG. Was Joel Madden flirting with Lindsay Lohan? Apparently Nicole Richie was home with the baby and Joel was out when Paris Hilton sent Nic a text: "Lindsay was all over Joel!" Nicole tried calling and Joel didn't pick up. Is this how it's gonna be? [Star]
  
• Lindsay Lohan's father thinks someone is supplying LL with drugs and Janet Charlton has posted a picture of LL with Samantha Ronson with the words, "Michael, the answer could be right under your nose - or better still, Lindsay's nose." [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
  
• Is Mariah Carey pregnant? Apparently someone from her camp called famed L.A. baby boutique Petit Trésor and asked about (wait for it...) butterflies. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Mariah and new hubby Nick rented out Six Flags Magic Mountain last night so they could have a wedding celebration with their homies. Roller coasters? Just like MC's "Fantasy" video. Which came out in 1995. When Mariah was 25. And Nick Cannon was 15. Not that it matters. [TMZ]
  
• Oh, wait: Nick had the theme park shut down as a surprise for Mariah. That is sweet. These two just might melt your cold cold heart. [ET]
  
• John Mayer had a show in Orlando last night and totally kissed Jennifer Aniston backstage between songs. [People]

• Did Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker avoid each other at the Sex And The City premiere after-party?
• Britney Spears hit a red Ford Explorer last night. Just a fender-bender. [TMZ]
• And Britney's "tummy" looks "swollen" so now there are pregnancy rumors. Same old, same old. [Mirror]
• Pete Doherty played his first post-jail gig last night and thanked fans for their support while he was inside. It would have been awesome if he'd started playing Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: David Thomson, Canada's richest man, has split with his fiancée, former O.C. actress Kelly Rowan, just weeks after she gave birth to his child. WTF. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which star of an upcoming blockbuster flick is a huge cad despite his image as a family man? Word is the actor is getting a little too touchy-feely with the ladies." [Rush & Molloy]
• Some conservative media whatchmacallit doesn't like Barbara Walters spilling her guts about her adulterous affair in her new book. "Barbara Walters is a shameless media whore," says Marc Dice of The Resistance. "Barbara has now sunk to the very level of other attention-starved celebrities such as Paris Hilton or even Steve-O from 'Jackass.'" Yeah... No.[Page Six]
• Ashley Olsen was seen on a date with an actor named Justin Bartha. Just so you know. [Page Six]
• Someone crushed Amanda Peet's baby stroller on an Amtrak train on Mother's Day. Boo. [Page Six]
• Does Diddy drink his own vodka, or does he prefer Malibu rum and pineapple? [Page Six]
• Two members of the '60s group The Turtles are suing Capitol Records over an Ice Cube song that samples their tunes. Cube's gonna have to shell out some dough, heh heh. [TMZ]
• Jennie Garth has signed on for the 90210 remake; now Tori Spelling is in talks to join the cast. Donna Martin graduates! [People]
• This is an actual headline: "Brody, Spencer Rekindle Their Bromance." Blerg. Brody Jenner has signed on to star in his own "unscripted" MTV series and it's possible that Spencer Pratt could be on the show. And yeah, the show is called Bromance. Try not to hurl. [E!]
• Actor James Garner (The Rockford Files, The Notebook) was hospitalized after suffering a minor stroke. [E!]
• Carmen Electra and her new fiancé Rob Patterson are already on the rocks, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Madonna is copying Oprah! She plans to build a school for girls in Malawi. [Reuters]
• Marisa Miller, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel are the hottest women in the world, according to the testosterone-fueled jackasses at Maxim. Just be blonde with big boobs and no hips or thighs and you, too can be on their pointless list. [People]
• Kim Kardashian and her siblings deny that they ran up more than $120,000 in charges on Brandy's credit card. This was back when Kim was a "stylist" and not whatever she is now. [People]
• Prepare yourself: Rumer Willis may be releasing a CD. [Perez Hilton]
• Ludacris went back to his old high school in Atlanta to find they'd painted his likeness in a mural and named the gym after him. [AP]
• Monty Python's John Cleese was ordered to pay his estranged wife £77,500 a month but he says his divorce from her is "worth every penny." [Telegraph]
• Is there another Marlon Brando love child? [Page Six]
• If you like Ed Westwick, Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, you should click here. [ONTD]
• "All the men that like me are gay. It's true. I have a really strong gaydar. I do love gay men though."  Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [The Sun]

• The mother of singer Brandy Norwood says that when Kim Kardashian was a stylist, she made unauthorized purchases on Brandy's credit card (and gave the card number to her siblings!), racking up over $120,000 in charges. Hey, bandage dresses ain't cheap! [People]
  
• In Britney news, the lawyer her father has retained tried to issue a restraining order against Sam Lutfi, but Lutfi wouldn't open the door. [TMZ]
  
• Her father wants the lawyers representing Britney in her custody battle  the firm of Trope and Trope  off the case, since they have a good relationship with Sam Lutfi. [TMZ]
  
• It seems that Lutfi spoke to Britney over the weekend, even though that violates the restraining order. [People]
  
• This UK paper is reporting that Britney is in a padded room, and Adnan can't get in to visit her. [The Sun]
  
• A court-ordered psychiatrist will examine Britney to determine if she understands the legal proceedings she is involved in. The court will decide how much longer her assets will remain under the temporary control of her father. [Reuters]

• Meanwhile, Jamie Lynn Spears wants to move from Louisiana to L.A.  away from her mother. [MSNBC]
• Andy Samberg and musician Joanna Newsom: It's on. Didn't know Andy had a girlfriend, sniff! [PageSix.com]
• Patrick Swayze had "serious gastro-intestinal" surgery over the weekend; a source says he is recovering. He'll live to dirty dance again! [PageSix.com]
• Jerry Hall is the "Global Ambassador" for Levitra? Mick Jagger's ex is touring the world encouraging women to talk about erectile dysfunction. Shudder. [PageSix.com]
• Mariah Carey was uncomfortable getting "uglied up" for her role in new flick Tennessee. She doesn't look so bad on the poster  doesn't she know what de-glamming did for Charlize Theron? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which husband of a daytime TV fixture - who has been in trouble for his proclivities before - has lately been patronizing a midtown dungeon?" [Gatecrasher]
• Michael Jackson will appear onstage at the Grammy awards this weekend. You know you wanna know what he looks like. [Rush & Molloy]
• Entourage star Kevin Connolly: Seen grinding on the dance floor with Laguna Beach alum Kristin Cavallari. Hollywood is such a merry-go-round. [Rush & Molloy]
• Justin Timberlake in the doghouse with Jessica Biel? After rumors surfaced that he made out with Kate Hudson and some other chick, she feels she can't trust him. Or so says a source. [MSNBC]
• Actress Shell Kepler, who played gossipy nurse Amy Vining on General Hospital for years, has died, though the cause of death is unknown. She was 49. [AP]
• It's not unusual? Kitschy singer Tom Jones has insured his chest hair for £3.5 million. Rowr! [Mirror]
• George Clooney says Hollywood has lost its sparkle: He places the glory years between 1964 and 1976, with films made by Stanley Kubrick, Francis Ford Coppola, Martin Scorsese, Alan J. Pakula and Sidney Lumet. "They don't make those films anymore," he sighs. Poor Georgie. [Telegraph]
• Heath Ledger's family is back home in Australia, preparing for the funeral later this week. Heath will be buried in the family plot, near his grandparents. [News.com.au]
• Meanwhile, the inhabitants of Heath's hometown of Perth, Australia are not happy about all the drug rumors. "If a person dies, let him go in peace," one woman says. [Yahoo News]
• PETA is not happy that Lindsay Lohan has been wearing fur. Will she join Mary-Kate and Ashley as a major target? [PETA2]
• It was reported that Gisele said she would run naked through Times Square if the Giants beat boyfriend Tom Brady's Patriots in the Super Bowl. Her agent claims she never said it and asks, "What's wrong with the world?" Um, people want to see Gisele naked, is that wrong? [People]
• Oooh, a preview of Kanye West's book! It's filled with Kanye-isms like "Be leery of the free gift bag" and "When you're so focused on what you don't have  you won't have." Nothing about walking around in shutter-lensed glasses, but it sounds fun. [LA Times]
• Diddy is dredging up his voting initiative from 2004, but instead of "Vote or Die" he's just saying "Go vote." Sean John Combs adds, "If we want to stop the war, if we want to get the economy better, I think that young people need to understand they have to take matters into their own hands." He doesn't endorse a candidate but calls the race "exciting." [USA Today]
• Avril Lavigne was holding auditions for backup dancers but canceled plans after reports that she pays below the standard industry rate. Avril, a cheapsk8? [Perez Hilton]

MOE: I've really been thinking hard about how losing weight could stave off a foot amputation
MEGAN: HAHAHA
MOE:Maybe this is a big problem in the other America I've been hearing about. People get so fat, they lose their immune system, but only in their feet, and they can't feel it when the flesh eating bacteria start eating away at them because they are so sedentary and so lazy on top of being sedentary that they never peel off their socks to see what's down there. I am that lazy.
MEGAN: indeed
Also, i worked on a conference at APEC. there's no really good evidence that preventative care saves money. the theory is that it staves off morbidity, which it does, and reduced the amount of end-of-life car. but in a society that lets you retire at 65, it ends up costing the economy, actually
so, barack's argument that it's a moral responsibility is better
and what he just said it correct about electronic medical records

MOE:That's a really good point. New York City supposedly has a higher lifespan than the rest of the country, which I attribute almost wholly to the fact that no one except me seems to have a sedentary lifestyle here because it's definitely not the higher rates of smoking, drinking and the contagious diseases they ought to be exposed to, but the insurance premiums here have got to be the highest in the country...anyway, that's gotta be what Brandy's talking about right now, yeah?

MEGAN: they are. also, there are some crazy reasons for that. like, that the state government requires that every person in a state-regulated insurance plan must be covered for tubal ligation reversal

MOE:But over the long run preventative care will be a cost saver, because people are, realistically, going to stop retiring at 65. I actually think the tremendous amount of paranoia our generation has about aging  how to age smart, how to keep your brain from deteriorating, the importance of exercise etc. etc.  will make us better, thriftier agers. I could be wrong though.
My own parents, after dealing with their parents, have mercifully promised to shoot themselves the minute they show symptoms of dementia.

MEGAN: Ha. Well, that's one way.
I mean, there's a real question of whether eliminating preventable disease actually reduced health care costs. like, it obviously reduces early death (function of government?) but, if you live longer, are you, in the ender, sicker less? i mean, we used to think that smokers weren't a drain on the system because they died earlier/faster, but that's untrue. so, don't sell me on preventative care because it "saves" money. sell me on it because it's why i pay fucking taxes.

MOE:Obama just did something kind of genius there
MEGAN: totally
MOE:Where he was like "Look, the only reason I am bringing up the fact that you've talked out of both sides of your mouth there is to point out that it's a difficult issue politically..."
MEGAN: is every fucking actor in hollywood in that audience?
HAHAHA, the democratic debates are brought to you by the coal companies!!
MOE:Subtext: that is not something that Miss Points Scorer here would acknowledge to y'all....
MEGAN: she got a little of her own, but she needs to watch herself be smug on camera and then not do it anymore. she needs tyra

MOE:oooh commercial break! fun fact: I have three of those environmentally friendly lightbulbs they're advertising at use in my house. I got them for free at a taping of Martha Stewart featuring BILL CLINTON. I went with Jennie. Jennie went crazy.
MEGAN: i bought one at ikea. it gave me a headache
MOE:I think I would like HIllary a lot more if she looked like she was actually listening to him as opposed to smirking contemptuously. He's very good with the writing down notes while she's talking thing.
MEGAN: Whoa, great start to the answer on that dynasty thing... but then she was like, no one has an advantage? Please.
MEGAN: like, i was really impressed when i started typing
AND NOW SHE'S CITING HER HUSBAND'S ACHIEVEMENTS. and i really wanted to like that answer
MOE: I'm surprised she knocked GHWB. For one thing, they didn't...uh...really "clean up." I mean, Bill didn't even have to change Fed chairmen! But it was also funny after Bill promised to send GHWB out as a goodwill ambassador the day she gets elected or whatever.
MEGAN: ha, yes, that was bad
MOE:But anyway, she just sort of conflicted herself. You know what she should have done?
MEGAN: she should've stuck the the spirit of her first 30 seconds?
and not gone for the easy applause line?
MOE:She should have said, "It is a shame, but George W. Bush was nothing like his father, and I think history will agree that he fell drastically short of him. I, on the other hand, intend to be an even better president than my husband."
MEGAN: that would've been awesome
MOE:Yeah, it really would have. And I'd sit up, and I'd fucking believe it, too, because she doesn't get carried away. Reading that story today about his little jaunt to Kazakhstan was like...whooooah dude. You really do not think beyond the moment.
Did you read that story?
MEGAN: no, i was a little occupied.
MOE:Ughhhhhh.
"Senator Clinton, that was a swipe at you." "Really?"
MEGAN: Maxine Waters is the Congresswoman for a good part of actual Hollywood, btw
MOE:Right i think I voted for her once
MEGAN: i applied for a job with her, and she never returned my call
MOE: Topher Grace
God imagine the AFTERPARTIES
MOE:oh my GOD Obama tells the girls they'll get a dog if he wins
HOW COULD YOU VOTE AGAINST HIM TUESEDAY
MEGAN: Those little girls do need a puppy
MOE:THE GIRLS NEED THEIR DOG
it would be stinky and snore-y just like daddy!
MEGAN: i wanna puppy. if barack promises me a puppy, i'll vote for him
dude, barry looks like he's falling asleep right now i felt the same way
MOE:Oh man. He really does.
I should send them some adderall. Can't one of his kids get a prescription?

MEGAN: look at the blinking!! he's a bored as the rest of us!!
MOE:This is a reeeeeeally civil debate. And civil = boring. GOP debates are sooooo much funner.
MEGAN: sadly
wolf just called hills naive though
MOE:One thing I appreciate about the debates is new commercials. I can't decide which regular CNN commercials are more annoying. There's the Macbook Air commercial, the New York Times weekender commercial, this commercial for... an insurance company or something that has this whiney song that sounds like it's by Sarah MacLachlan... oh yeah, and the fucking JUNO commercial that never ceases. Are the old folks who watch CNN all day really interested in seeing Juno like seven times? Bc otherwise I don't geti t.

MEGAN: fuck, watched fox news all week. every commercial break has an "invest in gold" commercial
MOE:Aaaah the HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
"if you can't control your husband now, what about when you're in office" HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
MEGAN: her laugh isn't so bad
MOE:It's just still really forced and GRATUITOUS.
MEGAN: hillary is proud of her spouse?
wait, Josh from the West Wing? Fran Drescher?
MOE:Oooooh, Fran Drescher? There's no picture of her. But I'm saving a pic of West Wing dude who is married to Jane Kazmarek from Malcolm In The Middle and naming it westwingdude.jpg.
Anyway, dear Hillary, this is the part where you say: "Look, my husband. I've been with him eighty years or whatever. He goes off sometimes. He's a man. I tend to be more careful when I speak. We're different people. But we've made each other better over time and that will only continue."
She could use a little Michelle coaching.
MEGAN: Please, Hillary doesn't want any more Yes-people in the White House? Is she not going to hire everyone in her Senate office or on her campaign staff?

MOE:Hahaha I just went to Perez Hilton to see if he had any JUICY CELEB DEBATE pix up. And he has a post that says "Are you watching the debate? Click for a recap here" And I was sooooo hoping to click for the Perez liveblog, but it was just a boring CNN story.

MEGAN: awwww
ooh, ooh, chelsea's dress!! so cute!
MOE:SHIT. I missed it.
describe!
MEGAN: it was a navy blue shirt dress, probs cotton, with big buttons, a-line skirt
MOE:there's a pic on the AP
MEGAN: it's cute, right? also, i love her colorist. props to her colorist
MOE:i need an appointment with her colorist. I have $400 from the stimulus package!
MOE:So Bill Bennett declared victory for Hillary. I didn't see that? Is it my mulatto-colored glasses??
MEGAN: Or it's Bill Bennett?
MOE:Aaaaaaah sick premature infant what is this???? Turning off the CNN.
MEGAN: gah!
Yes
MOE:Obviously I am just using my racism as an excuse for my misogyny, but is it working?
MEGAN: oh, i dunno. i've had a bottle of wine i know that you're kidding
MOE:Good, that's good you know that I'm kidding. I have to stop watching this sickly infant program.
MEGAN: STOP! the daily show is on!
MOE:AAAAAAAAH