• Jon Gosselin is planning to meet with CBS executives to talk about appearing on celebrity editions of The Amazing Race or Survivor. Wouldn't filming these particular reality shows require him to be away from his kids for weeks?

• Apparently TLC's lawsuit alleging that he broke his exclusive contract with the network isn't preventing Jon from pursuing new job opportunities. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyers emailed Kate Gosselin's lawyers and said that they have $152,000 from Jon that will repay the money he took from their joint account. Jon has already paid back $28,000 of the $180,000 he owes. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyer says he is now in "complete compliance" with a court order to return $180,000 to the joint bank account, but, "Unless something happens today [with Kate] she will be going through contempt proceedings Monday." Both Jon and Kate filed contempt motions against each other that will be addressed in a hearing on Monday, and Kate still needs to account for $55,000 she says she spent on household expenses. [People]
• A judge said today that he'll dismiss the charges against Kanye West for destroying two TMZ paparazzi's cameras if he completes 50 hours of community service. Kanye said he's already attending anger management courses and TMZ isn't pressing charges because Kanye paid the company for the camera he broke. [TMZ]
• Kanye's lawyer said he plans to serve his volunteer hours with the American Red Cross. [People]
• Rachel J. Lee, 19, was arrested with several other women yesterday in a sting operation and accused of masterminding the recent burglaries of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge, and Orlando Bloom. Sources say the women were so obsessed with celebrity fashion that they used Hollywood star maps to locate the victims' homes, then figured out when they wouldn't be home based on their public appearances so they could steal their designer clothes and jewelry. [People]
• Sources say when Rachel Lee was arrested police found items that may have been taken from celebrities' homes including Lindsay Lohan's hat, Rachel Bilson's jeans, and a partially nude photo of Paris Hilton. [TMZ]
• A map found on the computer of Nicholas Prugo, who is suspected of burglarizing Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge, may link him to the burglarly of Orlando Bloom's house as well. [TMZ]
• TMZ claims that evidence on Nicholas Prugo's computer shows he performed two searches for "Paris Hilton diamond watch." Paris went to the police station today to pick up some of her recovered belongings. [TMZ]
• Though 60 tickets to This Is It were reportedly offered to the Jackson family, Katherine Jackson insists no one every offered her tickets and La Toya Jackson says, "We're not seeing it, my mother, we're not seeing it." [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray says stopped paying child support because he had to close his office after receiving physical threats following Michael Jackson's death and can't afford to pay his ex the $13,000 he owes her. [CBS News]
• The accounting firm Cannon and Company has filed a creditor's claim saying Michael Jackson owed the firm $56,582. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is devestated because 14-year-old Corgi-Terrier Norman is sick. "Norman is old and hasn't been doing well. She's terrified her best friend could soon be gone," says a source. [Star]
• Sources say Avril Lavigne has been cheating on her husband Deryk Whibley with Brandon Davis for months, and now that she and Deryk have split she's going to move in with Brandon. [Hollywood Scoop]
• Madonna asked Guy Ritchie to look over the script she wrote for the film she's directing about Wallis Simpson and give her some casting suggestions. He said she should take a look at Mark Strong and Toby Kebbell, who both had roles in RocknRolla. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna is heading to Malawi this weekend to lay the foundation stone for her new girls school and meet with President Bingu wa Mutharika. [Daily Express]
• Victoria Beckham gave her younger sister Louise a £50,000 check to pay for her December wedding. "Vic just told Louise 'I don't care what it costs - it will be my Christmas present to you'. Louise was very emotional," says a friend. [The Sun]
• Nicholas Cage says "The sadness of the story," is what drew him to his new film Astro Boy."I can't help but feel for him especially when his father rejects him," said Cage of the film's animated star. [L.A. Times]
• Jade Goody's family settled a lawsuit against The Mirror and the picture agency NewsPics for printing private pictures of her burial. The companies will pay £35,000 in damages, as well as legal costs. [Daily Express]
• Julian Casablancas says there's "disagreement" in The Strokes over whether the songs for their fourth album are done or not. "It's weird with the band, a band is actually a great way to ruin a friendship," he says. [NME]
• James Jimenez will be retried for charges related to the theft of Kirsten Dunst's $2,000 purse during a movie shoot. He was convicted of misdemeanor criminal trespassing, but jurors were deadlocked on several felony burglary counts. [AP]
• Hayden Christensen and his twin brother Tove are suing producer Phillippe Martinez because they say he drew up a contract for Haden to act in the movie Crash Bandits, which Tove would co-produce, but the film was never made. [TMZ]
• Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's widow, will participate in a discussion on Grief, Healing, and Resilience at the Women's Conference 2009 in Long Beach, California next Tuesday along with Elizabeth Edwards and Susan St. James. [People]
• Rihanna will perform at the American Music Awards on November 22. [Ace Showbiz]
• Music producer Chuck Harmony says of Rihanna's new album Rated R, "I think Rihanna has captured what her old fans are used to, as well as the growth of an artist. 'Russian Roulette,' to me, is a shining example of her growth and her artistic expression. "Russian Roulette' is definitely taking her to another level. I think she's a pop icon, so her music should reflect that." [MTV]
• "I've definitely said some things that I shouldn't say," admits Megan Fox. "I sometimes forget how things will translate once they are in print. But this is a bullshit industry and I made a decision not to be a bullshit person. I need to hold onto my soul and my integrity and I can't compromise that." [Telegraph]
• Danny DeVito says his character on It's Always Sunning in Philadelphia is "A lustful guy. He wants to always have a girlfriend. I relate to that. I love women. I mean, I'm married, but I used to get in all kinds of trouble. I love the summertime, when all the girls wear the little skimpy clothes, even my daughters. I mean, I'm not gonna lust after my daughters. I'm just saying there are women and there are men in the world, so, you know, get over it. People are going to look." [N.Y. Magazine]
• VIDEO: While hosting the Elle Women In Hollywood Awards, Alec Baldwin told honoree Jullie Andrews,"Julie, you've got three choices: you could follow Robert Pattinson into the men's room, you could rush the stage at a Taylor Swift concert and tell her how great Henry Mancini is, or in order to publicize the Blu-Ray release of 'Sound of Music' you could release one of your own grandchildren in a balloon up in the air." [L.A. Times]
• "Tina [Fey] is my baby girl. She's my sister from another mother of a different color. I'd do 25 to life for her. She is down like four flat tires. She pitched [30 Rock] to me like, 'Yo, this is your personality. It's your alter ego.' She always says, 'Keep the cameras rolling and let Tracy do what he do.' I love that about her." — Tracy Morgan [Playboy]

• Kate Gosselin says that though Jon Gosselin called the breeder and had their two family dogs taken away, "They'll come back I'm sure at some point. But for now, I just needed a break."

• She explained: "He called the breeder and took them back for a short period of time. I'm feeling like I have not enough time to take care of my kids, let alone give the dogs what they need, and the kids surprisingly weren't that upset about it." Kate added that she's amazed by the strength of the dogs saying, "They sleep in a metal crate... a huge metal crate. They bent the bars and got out. I think in the winter I'm going to have them pull the kids in a sleigh." [Radar Online]
• On last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin took her kids to an Amish farm, then took her daughter Cara to the radiologist to get her foot scanned. Jon did not appear on the episode and Kate said, "It feels very normal to be here by myself, to take care of the kids not with Jon but with a babysitter... It's starting to feel like the pity party is gone." [People]
• Here's one way to combat bullying: Amy Winehouse showed up at a school in London and spit on and insulted a girl she heard was bullying her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield. After a bystander broke up the incident Amy signed a few autographs and left. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse has started working with Mark Ronson again on her third album. Rapper Lethal Bizzle says, "I was talking to Mark about Amy. He thinks she's getting better and they are working together and will start recording soon. Everything he does is awesome. I think he's brilliant and was excited when he wanted to work on my album. Me and Amy go way back too. We did gigs when I was in a band called More Fire Crew. She was proper cool. I reckon it will be another great album." [The Sun]
• A YouTube video of Beyonce singing "Halo" to 11-year-old cancer patient Chelsea James in Australia has gone viral. Watch it here: [News.com.au]
• Kelly Osbourne reportedly broke down in tears before her performance on Dancing With the Stars last night because she got nervous and texted her mother Sharon, but security wouldn't let her in. "Sharon didn't have the proper credentials," says a source from the show. "Ever since last season's scare with Shawn Johnson and her stalker, security has been beefed up big time." [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman's play A Steady Rain was one of the top three earners on Broadway last week. It's rare for a non-musical to crack the top 10. [Variety]
• Michael Lawrance Kozelka, who was arrested for allegedly stalking Jewel, last week after showing up to her house with a pocket knife and a dog. the local sheriff says, "He was not aggressive and was not mad... He just said he was on a mission from God, that God told him to come to Stephenville and led him to this ranch." [AP]
• The CW announced that Heather Locklear will guest star on the new Melrose Place by issuing a press release titled, "The Bitch Is Back!" [Mercury News]
• Police inspector Andrew Wells testified in the John Travolta extortion trial today that John initially wanted his son Jett to be taken to the airport instead of a local hospital in the Bahamas. It has been previously reported that John thought it would take just as long to get to Florida, and Jett would get better care there. [TMZ]
• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are being sued by a pair of paparazzi who claim their bodyguards shot at them during after their wedding in Costa Rica. They say they had clearance to take pictures from a nearby property, but bodyguards harassed them anyway, then shot at them with pistols as they tried to escape in their SUV. [TMZ]
• Ashton Kutcher's Facebook video series KatalystHQ is a hit. So far it has been viewed by 9 million people since its February debut. [Media Week]
• In the video at the link celebrities including Will Ferrell and Jon Hamm appear in a fake PSA urging Americans to think about the plight of the health insurance companies if Obama manages to overhaul the health care system. [Politico]
• Oksana Grigorieva says even though she's pregnant with Mel Gibson's baby, they haven't even considered marriage. "Actually we have no plans to marry whatsoever," she said. "I haven't thought about it – we haven't spoken about it." [People]
• Scott Storch ended his friendship with Brandon Davis because Davis allegedly confessed to stealing one of his diamond watches. [Contact Music]
• Eminem's music publisher Eight Mile Style LLC is suing Apple for copyright infringement for allegedly selling 93 of his songs on iTunes without permission. [AP]
• Gina Gershon's former agents are suing her because they claim they got her a job on Broadway, but she refused to pay them the 10% commission on the deal. The suit describes her as a "user" who "chooses to forget about those people who help her in her career." [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom just registered at Williams Sonoma, so their guest have less than a week to pick up a gift for their wedding on Sunday. [TMZ]
• Katie Price says her friendship with her "dressage instructor" Andrew Gould angered her ex-husband Peter Andre and contributed to their breakup. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Federline has signed on for the next season of Celebrity Fit Club. His ex Shar Jackson and Bobby Brown will also be on the show. [TMZ]
• Seth Green is the new spokesman for Butterfinger. He'll keep using Bart Simpson's line, "Nobody's gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger." [Brandweek]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom will marry on Sunday at the home of family friend and music manager Irving Azoff. A source says, "It will be a very detailed and classy affair." [People]
• Though Bruce Willis married Emma Heming in March, he says it "seems like less than a month. She's not only my best friend, but my wife." [People]
• Jeweler Neil Lane says Zooey Deschanel and Benjamin Gibbard were "absolutely adorable" when they came in to pick out their wedding rings last month. There are pictures of Zooey's rings here: [People]
• Jordan Belfi says of his character on Entourage, "Adam Davies has become ... one of the few characters on the show that really knows how to get under Ari's skin and push his buttons. Ari is an entertaining character, and it's fun to watch him go after things, but people really enjoy kind of when Ari's off balance." [CNN]
• Lost star Sonya Walger who will appear on the new show FlashForward, says, "I got married six weeks ago... It's just a sweet thing. I haven't got a better word for it. It's an enormous amount of sweetness." [People]
• Michael Emerson, who plays Ben Linus on Lost, says he wants to be on True Blood with his wife Carrie Preston. "I think it would be fun if I got to play her father," he said. "I would go on any Alan Ball show to do just about anything. I will be the face in the window, I will be the cab driver… I don't want to be a vampire." [Ok]
• Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones will star in a new Broadway production of A Little Night Music beginning in November. [Press Release]
• On October 12 George Takei and his husband Brad Altman will become the first gay couple to appear on The Newlywed Show. Takei says, "We get to show how normal and happy our 22 year relationship is. We got married last year but we've been together for 22 years, so we may have a leg up on the other newlyweds!" [Fancast]
• Mackenzie Phillips will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show tomorrow to talk about how she hid in her home, made compulsive purchases and struggled with personal issues. She's expected to reveal a family secret she's kept hidden for 31 years. [CNN]
• When asked how she juggles motherhood and her career Jennifer Garner said, "You just take it one day at a time. Oh gosh, let me know when you figure that out. I don't think anyone has it." [People]
• Leelee Sobieski, who is expecting her first child later this year says, "I think I like eating what little kids eat... I eat less ice cream now than I did before because the baby takes up space." [People]
• "Apparently, there's a lot of debate going on right now, whether I'm qualified or not to be the new judge on 'American Idol'... I'll tell you right now, how I know I'm going to be a great judge — because I've spent my whole life being judged. So, I know what it's like. So, I will be kind. I will be compassionate. I will be empathetic, and I will be truthful. I will be an honest judge without being mean." — Ellen DeGeneres [Entertainment Tonight]
• Taye Diggs says that since Idina Menzel gave birth to their son Walker last month, "It's been amazing just to come home to that little dude... Every time I leave the house, it just makes me want to come back even more. It's just a great prize waiting for me." He added, "I have a newfound respect and admiration that borders on worship of my wife... Just to see her turn into a mother overnight is amazing." [People]
• Master interviewer Larry King asked Tyra Banks if she still "thinks like a fat person" now that she's lost weight. She replied: " I don't actually. You know... when I told the world to kiss my fat ass, I remained that size for two years. I maintained it with my ice cream and my salad with ranch and dressing and croutons and bacon bits. Like I — I didn't look at myself even on television and think that I was too big or — I don't know. I didn't — it didn't connect. But since I have lost a lot of weight, and it started with the — a weight loss challenge, actually at the top of this year. So I'm two years after 'kiss my fat ass.'" [CNN]

• Barneys Creative Director Simon Doonan and designer Jonathan Adler were wed yesterday at City Hall in San Francisco! This article states that they "sealed the union with a spirited sprint down the glorious grand staircase." Mr. Doonan wore a Liberty print shirt, Barneys Co-op jeans, a Prada V-neck and a Thom Browne velvet jacket. Mr. Adler wore Barneys Co-op jeans, V-neck, a Fred Perry sweater, and Adidas sneakers. [SFGate, Photo by Thor Swift]
• If Prop. 8 passes in California, "it would be the first time in American history that an existing minority right would be taken away by the vote of a majority." The Christian conservatives are ahead, in terms of fundraising. Karen Ocamb's article indicates that Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, Sir Elton John and Melissa Etheridge have not donated to the cause to fight Prop 8, according to the California Secretary of State’s Campaign Finance website. Ocamb writes: "While their visibility as openly LGBT celebrities and entertainment power players is important, their financial absence from the specific fight to save the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry is hurting." [In L.A. Magazine]
• Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in All My Sons last night and Tom Cruise loved it. "It was extraordinary," he says. [Yahoo News]

• Heidi Klum is freaking out about hosting the Emmys on Sunday. She says: "I get nervous when so many people are looking at me. It’s live and you go on stage and no one asks questions. To go out and just talk is terrifying." Heidi, when it doubt, say "deezigners." Everyone loves that! [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Ivana Trump flew coach. [Page Six]
• Pink's song about heartbreak, "So What," is her first No.1 song on Billboard's Hot 100. She says the track is not entirely autobiographical, but the opening line is, "I guess I just lost my husband." (Watch the video!) [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman speaks about her baby and her hubby! She says: "To be given the blessing of a child at this stage of my life was wonderful." She also claims she and Keith can't stand to be away from each other. "We start to hurt after seven days. I've never wanted to live my life apart from the person I love. If you're going to be with someone, you're with them, you’re committed to them. I'm not sort of flitting around. If I fall, I fall — that's it. We gently fell into each other. We were two lonely people who went, 'Ah, there you are.'" [The Sun]
• After shooting 30 Rock with Oprah, Tina Fey says: "I would like to announce that we are officially best friends." [Chicago Tribune]
• You know how Amy Poehler is getting her own show? Will Arnett will be on it! Her husband! [Onion AV Club]
• Justin Timberlake is planning on writing a song for his friend Ellen DeGeneres and her new bride Portia de Rossi. "I actually made them a promise and I'm gonna stick to it," he says. Let you whip me if I misbehave… [UPI]
• Simon Cowell uses so much Botox he can no longer scowl. He says: "To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It simply works. You do it once a year — who cares?" Um, Simon, do you only brush your teeth only once a year?? [The Sun]
• George Clooney's character in Burn After Reading uses a sex ramp; apparently sales of this item are suddenly up. [Daily Express]
• Katherine Heigl earns about 22 times what her Grey's Anatomy costar Ellen Pompeo makes, thanks to her film career. (Other Grey's salaries are compared here, too.) [Portƒolio]
• Val Kilmer as the governor of New Mexico? Bill Richardson says yes! "I like the idea. Val Kilmer is a New Mexican; he was Batman. You know there have been successful actors going into politics." [Shakesville]
• Last night, Audrina Patridge maybe moved out of the house that she shared with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth. Plus: Rumors are swirling that she's getting her own spin-off show. Please let JustinBobby be in it! [TMZ]
• Oooh the Jack White/Alicia Keys Bond theme! It's called "Another Way To Die." Listen here. [Concrete Loop]
• So you know how Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Sherlock Holmes in a flick directed by Guy Ritchie? Jude Law will play Watson. [Ain't It Cool]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali will do another 13 episodes of their cooking show; this time in Italy. [Perez Hilton]
• Contrary to reports, two of Paris Hilton's dogs were NOT eaten by a coyote. [Page Six, People]
• Pat O'Brien is leaving The Insider. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal's lawyer says: "Those were not Ryan's drugs, he doesn't use drugs." [People]
• Gary Coleman's lawyer says "he did nothing wrong." This comes after Coleman allegedly ran over a dude who tried to take his picture with a camera phone. [People]
• Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour: "Overloaded with blinding dazzle, pyrotechnics and gaudy style over substance. The myriad production numbers were reminiscent of a poor Vegas revue and emotionally distant, the band and backup singers bolstering her vocals hidden away, leaving one to wonder if some — or most — of it was prerecorded." [Reuters]
• Is Britney Spears getting special treatment for her driving without a valid license trial? [AP]
• Broke oil "heir" Brandon Davis owes money all over town. [Page Six]
• Is Kathy Griffin moving her Life On The D-List show from Bravo to some other network? [Page Six]
• Denise Richards' show: Getting canceled? [Page Six]
• Joan Prather of Eight Is Enough was arrested after dragging an L.A. County Sheriff's deputy down the Pacific Coast Highway with her car. [TMZ]
• China's Ugly Betty is not ugly enough. [Guardian]
• Speaking of Ugly Betty, America Ferrera says Henry and Gio will be back on Season 3. [EW]
• Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez: Officially divorced. That was quick! [TMZ]
• LL Cool J is pissed because Jessica Simpson's album beat his on the charts. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood's estranged wife says: "I'm enjoying my new freedom." [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher doesn't know how to spell step-daughter Tallulah's name. [Perez Hilton]
• Does Playboy treat black women like crap? [TMZ]
• The Spice Girls have beaten Led Zeppelin for an award for the best music reunion. Girl powah! [BBC News]
• Tracy Chapman is releasing her first new album in years, and you can listen to a track here. [Perez Hilton]
• "I do believe in marriage… But I just think for me, it’s not a desperate kind of thing. In America it’s definitely something that seems to be a major goal with every woman – the big wedding day. I don’t need that. I want total commitment and spiritual connection, and I am lucky because that’s what I’ve got. One of the things that first attracted me to my boyfriend is his brain. He’s very well-read and really sexy to me. Brains are the most important thing to me, because I feel I lack them. I want them from the man I am with. I love a well-read man – that is such a turn-on." — Eva Mendes. [Mirror]

• Ashlee Simpson, 23, is engaged to Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, 28. He got down on one knee; she said yes. Flat-iron-filled wedding to come! [In Touch Weekly]
  
• Is Ashlee pregnant? There's no evidence to that end, but whatever. [Us]
  
• Oh! Is Ashlee's team leaking Mariah Carey songs in hopes of creating less competition for Ashlee's album? Maybe this whole marriage thing is a publicity ploy too. [KBS Radio]
  
• Beyoncé's little sister Solange says "I don't know anything about [a wedding]. You'll have to ask her yourself." Also: B has a lot to learn when it comes to kids, says Solange (who is 21 and the mother of a 3-year-old). [People]
  
• Does The Hills star Audrina Patridge lock her bedroom door because she doesn't trust roomie Lauren Conrad? Lauren seems like one of those girls who would borrow clothes without asking first. [Page Six]

• Is Katie Couric planning on leaving CBS Evening News early? Does anyone watch her? [People]
• Angelina Jolie was discussing Iraq education policy in Washington DC on Tuesday when she "felt kicking suddenly." Is a career in politics in the future for her unborn (twins?)? [People]
• Bret Michaels has been named in a breach-of-contract lawsuit against the producers of Rock Of Love. The owner of the $9 million home where they filmed the series found holes in the walls and ceilings, dead plants, and missing doors. $380,000 worth of damage. No doubt stuff happened in that house that we don't even want to know about. [E!]
• Halle Berry's baby pix: Not coming to a celebrity weekly magazine. Yet. [MSNBC]
• Gwen Stefani doesn't know if her baby is a boy or a girl, and won't find out until delivery day — she and Gavin want it to be a surprise. Hopefully it's a girl she can dress up in wacky outfits. [People]
• Whitney Houston's young boyfriend, Ray J, has written a song about her. The lyrics: "Is that your wife, is that your shorty, well I'm her boyfriend... I think the problem is you don't beat it right... Making love is cool, just pull her hair sometimes." [Page Six]
• Pat O'Brien has just completed his second stint in rehab and will return to his show, The Insider. [Page Six]
• Despite that Iggy doggie fiasco, the Humane Society has praised Ellen DeGeneres for raising awareness of animal issues. [Page Six]
• No one likes racist oil heir Brandon Davis. [Page Six]
• A source claims Eliot Spitzer says his wife knew about his hooker habits and was like, "My fucking wife doesn't care, so why does anybody else care?" Tsk, tsk. [Page Six]
• Jane Krakowski is headed to Broadway to star in Damn Yankees. Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which show keeps its dim-witted if ultra-popular "reality" stars peppy with Adderall supplied by a producer in handfuls between scenes?" [Gatecrasher]
• Actor Thomas Jane pleaded not guilty to DUI charges yesterday. He goes back to court in May, and The Punisher will find out how he's being punished. [TMZ]
• 50 Cent is in talks to star in an upcoming indie film, but he has 21 questions first. [Perez Hilton]
• Gwyneth Paltrow says the rumors about her marriage breaking up are "ridiculous." She also reveals the astrological personalities of her kids: "Apple is an open person. She's Taurus; grounded, calm, funny. Moses is Aries, he's the most sweet, sensitive thing but then he'll kick and karate-chop and spit and tumble. He's a real boy." [People]
• Toni Braxton has canceled upcoming shows after being hospitalized for chest pains earlier in the week. She has previously been treated for hypertension and pericarditis. Be well! [People]
• A judge has dropped Michael Jackson from a lawsuit filed by the family of a women who died at a hospital after she was moved to make room for the pop star. [Yahoo News]
• Snoop Dogg has settled a lawsuit with his former record label, "though they won't disclose how many bones it took." Heh. [Yahoo News]
• Robert De Niro has left CAA, the agency he has been with for years. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors from his DUI charges and will lose his license for a year. He also has to attend alcohol-education programs. [Yahoo News]
• Bob Marley's mother, Cedella Booker, died in her sleep Tuesday night at her home in Miami. She was 81. [USA Today]
• Never before seen Elvis pictures from 1972 have suddenly surfaced. Thank you, thank you very much. [Yahoo News]

• Halle Berry's baby has 3 nurseries in different homes, all done in all whites, neutrals and organics. Cost? $60K. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• And ooh, Halle Berry's baby will learn to speak French! Because her daddy is from Quebec! Très mignon! [People]
  
• A Snoop Dogg quote, presented without comment: "How many ugly women selling records? None! Only the pretty ones sell records — Beyoncé, Mary J. The ugly ones just be singing their little hearts out but don't get no sales. You beautiful on the inside, baby." [Mirror]
  
• Amy Winehouse will get $1 million to sing at a party thrown by George Clooney and Julia Roberts and hosted by Giorgio Armani. That kind of cash buys a lot of eyeliner. [Mirror]

• George Clooney is not, as previously reported, Nicole Kidman's baby's godfather. He is still hot, however. [MSNBC]
• George Clooney is also not returning to ER. [People]
• "Spies" at the Food Network say Nigella Lawson has gained weight. "The result is a butt like a Budweiser horse," a source says. "Her director is now doing back flips to not show her below the waist." Here's an idea: Shut the fuck up. No one talks about Mario Batali's ass. [Page Six]
• Britney's father got permission from a judge to sell some of Brit's cars. Maybe she'll trade her convertible for a kid-friendly mini van? [TMZ]
• Britney on How I Met Your Mother: "Can we have sex and then go shopping?" [People]
• Miley Cyrus is legally changing her name from Destiny Hope Cyrus to her famous nickname. (Dad used to call her smiley when she was a kid; somehow it morphed into Miley.) [TMZ]
• Christian Bale speaks about his Dark Knight costar, Heath Ledger, who played the Joker. "Heath was a joy," Christian tells EW.com. "What was so great to see with Heath is just how seriously he took [his work]. And we don't mean in any way to sound sort of pretentious with that, but just in the fact that if we don't take it seriously, then how can any audience ever take it seriously? And he did one hell of a job." [ET]
• Is Madonna moving to New York without hubby Guy Ritchie? Her rep says no. If not, why do these rumors persist? [Page Six]
• Oh wait, everything's fine: Madonna and Guy have game nights in which they play Scrabble. Triple word score! [Mirror]
• Some 35-year-old music manager Lindsay Lohan's been hanging out with was arrested over the weekend as a suspect in sexual assaults involving two 16-year-old girls. Shall we judge her by the company she keeps? [Page Six]
• Lindsay's grandfather is losing his battle with colon cancer. [E!]
• Diddy is denying a report that his associates were responsible for the shooting death of Tupac Shakur. "The story is a lie," Sean Combs says. "It is beyond ridiculous and completely false." [Yahoo News]
• Orlando Bloom has dropped out of a Nick Hornby movie due to scheduling conflicts. [Reuters]
• Did "oil heir" Brandon Davis make a scene at Lauren Conrad's fashion show in which he was "screaming and yelling and waving around a bag of white powder"??? [Page Six]
• Will Smith is denying that the Church of Scientology has recruited him and his wife. Says Legend: "I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths." [Rush & Molloy]
• Soleil Moon Frye gave birth to a second daughter, Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg. [People]
• Is Paul Newman okay? He's been seen at a cancer treatment center. But he says he's being treated for "athlete's foot and hair loss." [Mirror]
• Ian Ziering has LOTS of big ideas for the 90210 spinoff: "Rush Sanders gets together with Nat and Willie, the chef from the Peach Pit, and they throw a burger syndicate. Mrs. Teasley, the Beverly Hills High School principal, finally gets the affair she's always wanted with David Silver when his sexless affair with Donna Martin falls apart. Kelly Taylor champions the cause of the embarrassed wife when she punches Brandon across the jaw during a live news conference just as he resigns from public office for having gay footsie sex with high priced hookers smoking a cigar. Dylan never recovers from the loss of his beautiful wife. Having done enough drugs to sedate a small village, his mind snaps forever more only speaking and rhyming couplets that can be incredibly insightful but mostly are just freakish and bizarre... Brenda's back and she's supernova hot. In her Christian Louboutin pumps, she is imbued with attitude that's only attained through social climbing of Europe's social elite. Andrea Zuckerman invented the social networking website called "MyFace". She gets herself ranked in the fortune 200. She buys every child a home of everyone in school who ever made her feel bad, and she turns those homes into half way houses for wayward teens..." [Perez Hilton]
• Click if you care to see Mischa Barton topless. [The Sun]

• Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday morning in L.A. An insider says Halle first arrived at the hospital early Saturday with contractions and "skyrocketing" blood pressure, but stabilized, went home and came back later Saturday night. The baby was born at 10:17 am yesterday. Congrats! [Star Magazine]
  
• Baby and mama are "doing great!" [US Magazine]
  
• George Clooney is going to be Nicole Kidman's baby's godfather. Damn. Raise your hand if you're jealous of an unborn kid. [Mirror]
  
• Nicole Richie hates her post-pregnancy boobs. "I am bustier now and I really don't like it. It doesn't really fit with my wardrobe, it's not who I am. I am not someone who is used to wearing a bra or having to wear a bra, I really don't like it. I like wearing vintage hippy see-through shirts that aren't slutty on me because there is nothing to look at." [The Sun]
  
• Mel Gibson and Britney Spears: New BFFs. WTF. [TMZ]

• Oh, a source says Mel and Brit had dinner together to talk about sobriety. Sure. [E!]
• Sam Lutfi's restraining order regarding Britney has been extended for another 30 days, thank Zeus. [TMZ]
• Is Britney's father opening a restaurant with Kevin Federline??? [Mirror]
• Brit's kids came to visit; she let her dad push the stroller. [The Sun]
• The hospital where Britney stayed for psychiatric evaluation has suspended some employees and may fire others for looking at Brit's medical records. [Reuters]
• Lindsay Lohan admits that her pre-rehab lifestyle was effed up: "I was putting myself in the wrong situations and I didn't have the focus in the right place." [People]
• Lindsay recently had a meeting with rapper Fat Joe. Reeemiiiix! [E!]
• Paris Hilton is going on tour with Benji Madden and his band, Good Charlotte, in South Africa, yawn. [People]
• A Hasidic Jew dropped out of the role of Natalie Portman's husband in her new movie because of pressure from his community. Oy. [UPI]
• Keith Richards likes Amy Winehouse's music but says,"That girl isn't going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick. Amy's got to get smart." [Daily Mail]
• Sarah Jessica Parker on the Sex And The City movie: "A handful of people have seen it and have been very surprised by the seriousness. There's something that happens in this movie and it's really about realizing your own complicity and disappointment. You know the necessity of friends, but at a certain point, as a grown-up person, you have to take care of yourself." [LA Times]
• Did "oil heir" Brandon Davis steal a $100,000 watch from producer Scott Storch? [Page Six]
• Eminem is working on the return of Slim Shady: He's back in the studio and working out with a trainer. [Page Six]
• Dear Page Six, Lisa D'Amato did not win Cycle Five of ANTM; she did pee herself on a photo shoot, though. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married foreign head of state makes Bill Clinton look like a Boy Scout? When women are granted audiences with the man, they find him at his desk with his fly open or, sometimes, with his pants already down... Which "socialite" dropped from a size 14 to a size 0 with the help of a new dangerous habit? She and some of her friends are dabbling in the appetite suppressant heroin." [Page Six]
• Blind item: "Which new mama likes to sneak vodka into her water glass even though she's still breastfeeding?" [ONTD]
• Diane Sawyer did a special on prostitution which never aired; thanks to Spitzer & Dupre, it'll be on ABC this Friday. Dreams really do come true. [Rush & Molloy]
• Actor Daniel Radcliffe smokes like 20 cigarettes a day. Harry Potter & The Phlegmy Cough. [ONTD]
• Start hitting your high notes: Mariah Carey will be a guest judge on American Idol this week. [ONTD]
• CSI: Miami's David Caruso: A dick on the set. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss has been banned from joining boyfriend Jamie Hince on stage when his band, The Kills, tours. She'll have to be happy with "groupie" status. [Mirror]
• Is Madonna's marriage "hanging by a thread"? How many times have you heard that before? [The Sun]
• But apparently Madonna and Guy Ritchie will announce a split in 18 months. Mark your calendar! [ONTD]
• Madonna's new song will be released via a SunSilk shampoo commercial. Rinse and repeat. [The.Life Files]
• Dawn Wells, aka Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, was supposed to speak to the Girl Scouts of America; they canceled after she was charged with marijuana possession. But she could warm the girls of the dangers of DUI! [UPI]
• Sadie Frost has split with Towers of London bassist Kristian Marr. Did you know they were dating? [Sunday Mirror]
• Paul McCartney may learn how much cash he has to give Heather Mills in their divorce settlement today, but will we? These things are private, as dictated by British law. But the judge can release some or all details after the couple has heard the decision. [CNN]
• Yee-haw! Carrie Underwood is joining the Grand Ole Opry. [Yahoo News]
• The drummer from ABBA was found dead in Spain. [Yahoo News]
• Is the Church of Scientology planning to use Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith to lure black people into its clutches? [MSNBC]
• Minnie Driver doesn't know what to name her baby. "Driver is kind of a hard name to put with a first name, particularly boys' names. My friend sent me an email saying I should call the baby Duncan Driver. Then I can call it Dunk Driver, Pile Driver, Rally Driver." [The Sun]
• Michael Stipe: Totes le gay. [Rush & Molloy]

It may have cost $4,000 a pop but Gummi Bear and his Pfizer-manufactured antibiotic took on the superbug and apparently won. And celebrity justice prevails again... until the staph bacteria smartens up and learns to resist all the pricey new drugs, that is! Anyway, I'm doing this post because I"m trying to write a story on superbugs and staph infections and how there's really not much in the pipelines of the major pharmaceutical companies, but not enough money or potential payoff at the little biotech firms to go through the gazillion dollar process of testing new antibiotics, so the world might be kind of screwed, and speaking of screwed, I keep meaning to write this story but I have this damn day job. Oh! And drink Kombucha. Love!

• Matt Damon has been crowned People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive." When he learned he was chosen, he turned them down — but the editors found his humility so sexy, they insisted! [The Early Show]
  
• Hmm, but Matt's cover is meh. You can almost feel his discomfort. [People]
  
• Headline News anchor Nancy Grace has been hospitalized with pregnancy complications following the birth of her twins on Nov. 4. After she had trouble breathing on her way to church, doctors found blood clots in her lungs. She's said to be recovering. [People]
  
• Kevin Federline has requested yet another emergency custody hearing. Homes is playing hardball! This time it's regarding that red light Britney Spears ran on November 8 — with the kids and the court-appointed monitor in the car. "Ms. Spears was being mobbed by paparazzi at the time," says Brit's attorney. "She was distracted. This was not blatant irresponsible driving on her part." Blah, blah, blah. [People]

• Jon Bon Jovi may run for governor of New Jersey someday? What's next, Britney Spears is the mayor of Vegas? Paris Hilton in charge of foreign relations and diplomacy? [Page Six]
• Oil heir Brandon Davis was seen "sweating profusely" at the Frederic Fekkai salon in New York. "His eyes were half shut," says a source. Uh, whose are not when they're being shampooed? [Page Six]
• Paul Sevigny says sister Chloe's love life is suffering because of TV show Big Love. "She gets maybe one day off in the week," he complains. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin wants Senator Hillary Clinton to think about childhood obesity before she votes on a bill that would give subsidies to farmers who provide products like cheese and sugar to schools. [Rush & Molloy]
• TV host Kelly Ripa: "I buy jeans that are tight in the rear end... I treat my cheeks like breasts in a pushup bra. I just reach down in there, lift them up and push them together. And they'll stay put if the jeans are tight enough in the seat." TMI! [Rush & Molloy]
• ER star John Stamos was harassed by a woman on a flight from Chicago to LAX, and the FBI got involved. Stamos didn't press charges and everyone in first class lived happily ever after. [E!]
• Lauren Conrad says what you see on The Hills is real, and she is "just friends" with Brody Jenner: "We're weird, we're whatever." [E!]
• The Spice Girls have five different L.A. mansions as they get ready for their world tour. "5 girls, 5 houses, 24 bedrooms, 29 bathrooms, 6 pools," notes the British press. [Mirror]
• Hugh Grant's Andy Warhol painting sold for £11 million last night (he paid £7 million for it in 2001). Nice investment! [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse couldn't visit husband Blake Fielder-Civil in prison yesterday because he's only allowed one visitor per day and his mother, Georgette, got there first. See what happens when you stop for snacks and cigarettes? [The Sun]
• Oh, and Amy Winehouse's parents sent an ambulance to her house when they couldn't reach her last night; she came home unharmed. And probably saying "Calm the fuck down." [Daily Mail]
• Did Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy break up because she found text messages from another girl on his mobile phone? Sweetie, he's a player! Move on. [The Sun]
• Hannah Montana fans are suing the Miley Cyrus Fan Club because they couldn't get tickets for her concert. We predict a very special episode to come! [Yahoo News]
• People are wondering if Lindsay Lohan is addicted to shopping. Uh, yes. [ABC News]
• Discovery Health Network has pulled the series Plasic Surgery: Before And After after reports that the show's host, Dr. Jan Adams, operated on Kanye West's mother before she died on Saturday. [Washington Post]

• Singer Rihanna on actor Josh Hartnett: "I would be lying if I told you we were not more than just friends... I've fallen for him big time. He is so hot and he is really sweet to me." Instead of some stupid name like Rihartnett or Joshanna, can't we just call them "freaking adorable" ? [Mirror]
  
• Rosie O'Donnell is in talks with MSNBC to have her own evening talk show. It would air at the same time as Larry King's program on CNN. Would you watch? [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
  
• Some teenage girls struggling with their weight are not happy that former View host Star Jones never showed up to give them a speech — despite taking a $17,000 deposit and two first class airline tickets from the group. Tsk, tsk! [Rush & Molloy]
  

• Julia Roberts wants to help Britney Spears."It's all I can do not to move her into my guesthouse and say, 'Okay, this is how it's going to be!' And just take care of her." [People]
• Benicio del Toro showed up at a meth addict meeting at the Gay Men's Health Crisis in New York — not because he's gay or an addict, but because he is an addict's sponsor. Love him! [Page Six]
• Oil heir Brandon Davis allegedly gambled away some $80,000 this weekend in Atlantic City. He turned to friends for cash: A source says "he was asking everyone for $5,000." Eyeroll! [Page Six]
• Jay-Z's new album, inspired by the movie American Gangster either is or isn't doing well. Honestly? He has enough money not to sweat it too much. [Page Six]
• Some David Copperfield documents reveal details of how the magician's assistants lure women on his behalf — with brochures of David's islands in the Bahamas and a "what to say" sheet if boyfriends or husbands get in the way. Grabracadabra! [TMZ]
• Angelina Jolie says her family celebrates many different holidays: "We celebrate Moon Festival for my boys, who are from Asia, and Kwanzaa and things like that." Uh, Kwanzaa? Really? [People]
• Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis is expecting a baby girl. [ONTD]
• Amy Winehouse missed the ceremony at the Kickers Urban Music Awards over the weekend because she spent the whole night at the open bar. We've never heard of the Kickers awards, but maybe the bar was the best part? [Mirror]
• Pete Doherty is supposedly clean, so why is there video of him doing heroin on Friday night? Also, who the hell lets someone film them injecting drugs? [The Sun]
• Christina Applegate was seen making out with ex-husband Johnathon Schaech at L.A. club Les Deux Friday night. [People]

BRANDON DAVIS: (nasty)

Q: What do you think of the Enron verdicts?

A: Huh?

Q: Do you think Jeff Skilling should get life in prison?

A: I dunno. I've been in Europe. Why should I care?

PARIS HILTON: (laughing to Brandon)

A: Brandon, you're in oil. Enron is oil.

BRANDON:

A: Oh. Yeah, they should go to prison.

Q: What do you think of hurting Lindsay Lohan's feelings with that off color remark?

A:Shut up!

• Girl gets around! Lindsay Lohan has been photographed doing coke, throwing up, playing with knives and passed out in a car. Next up: Nudie pics! [PageSix]
  
• Oh, and by the way, Lindsay has completed rehab! Congrats, Lindsay: Vegas was the perfect place for you to go to celebrate! [People]
  
• DJ AM and model Jessica Stam: Dunzo! [PageSix]
  
• You can take Matthew McConaughey out of the trailer, but can you take the trailer out of Matthew McConaughey? Time will tell. [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
  
• Jessica Alba is moving to New York City, partly for the shopping. Ugh: Just like a Jessica! [Gatecrasher, 4th item]

• Didn't you love those steamy pictures of Posh & Becks in W? So did they! Victoria says David likes the one where she's "writhing" on the hood of a car, so, naturally, she's going to have it enlarged. [Daily Mirror]
• Benicio del Toro threw Esquire's logo into the L.A. river. Also: He's a sexy badass. [NYT]
• Ashley Olsen didn't know what the show Weeds was, probably because she's the Olsen twin who does coke, not pot. [EntertainmentTonight]
• Justin Timberlake is opening a restaurant called Southern Hospitality on New York's Upper East Side. There is a joke about "bringing biscuits back" in there somewhere, but this is probably best left alone. [TMZ.com]

• The Eva Longoria nupti-news continues: Ryan Seacrest wept and everyone got huffy (heh) when Teri Hatcher showed up mugging for cameras in a dress tailored to look exactly like the bridesmaid dress. Um, if succeeding at undermining someone requires wearing a bridesmaid dress when you don't have to we would normally call it a Pyrric Victory but it was Eva Longoria, so, go Teri! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Madonna demands eye contact during interviews. We can't wait to see the contract her lawyers drew up for sex! [Huffington Post]
  
• Aw. Sean Preston is only three years old and already he is carrying mommy's cigarettes like a good boy. Baby knows it's hard to fit everything in mommy's bikini bottoms! [The Sun]
  
• New word we just made up: Fauxbriety. It's what guylined Ashlee Simpson boychick Pete Wentz is into when he's not practicing sobriety. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Brandon Davis should maybe look into it! [Page Six]

• Live Earth-athon: The Police kiss Al Gore's ass, Kanye kisses Sting's ass, Alicia Keys kisses Keith Richards' ass, everyone gets along! [Rush & Molloy]
• A Senator showed up on the DC Madam's list but he's from Louisiana so it doesn't actually count. [Washington Post]
• Jamie Lee Curtis: I have a terrorist's mind. [Huffington Post]
• Memo to Jamie Lee: Then please do something about this. [TMZ]

• Jane Fonda to Dina Lohan: "If you screw it up now, you don't get another chance!" More delusionally optimistic words were probably never spoken. [Page Six]

• You know how Lindsay was all "I'm going to New York to fuck Jude Law" and you were like 'yeah sugar nose and maybe you should show Hillary how to fix Social Security while you're at it'? According to the New York Daily News, that equals confirmation of their earlier suspicions about the LoLaw. [Gatecrasher]

• What better qualification for fine art dealing than having spawned the post-feminist pop cultural memeplex we all now know by the term "firecrotch"? Yeah yeah yeah $$ helps. [Page Six]

• Jessica Simpson and "demure" in the same sentence! [Page Six}

• It took us three Shrek movies and There's Something About Mary for us to catch on to this, but we think Cameron Diaz might have a leeeedle bit of a slime fetish. [Page Six]

• And in truly uplifting news, Fran Drescher looks considerably better than us in a swimsuit. [Perez]

• If large yacht = small cock, here's an estimate of the penis size of various billionaire businessmen, from biggest to smallest: Richard Branson, Rupert Murdoch, Ronald Perelman, Tom Perkins, Paul Allen. [Rush&Molloy]
• When he was 10 years old, Kurt Russell got cut by a girl with a knife hidden in her beehive hairdo. [PageSix]
• Even Paris Hilton's cheesy ex, Stavros Niarchos, thinks Brandon Davis is a loser. [PageSix]
• He likes bitches! Star Jones' hubby was seen hanging out at a West Village dog-run without a dog. [Gatecrasher, 4th item]

• Avril Lavigne and Dereck Whibley have bought a $9.5 million home in Bel-Air. [People]
• Liz Hurley's father-in-law thinks she's tacky and desperate. That sounds about right! [DailyMail]
• OMG! The "Complete First Season of Silver Spoons" is coming to DVD! On June 19th! Our birthday! [No link!]

Danny Bonaduce compares Paris Hilton to Typhoid Mary: "Everybody she befriends ends up in rehab. Not her!" [NY Post]

In other Paris news, the celebuslut runs to mom Kathy in tears at her birthday party, thanks to antics of frenemy Brandon Davis. [NY Daily News]

Is Cameron Diaz dating Tyrese? Or Djimon Hounsou? No matter: We're just glad she's moved on from guys who pretend they're black to actual blacks. [NY Daily News, 5th item]

Britney Spears' concerned first husband, Jason Alexander, compelled to speak out the pop-tart's heavy drug use; not concerned enough, however, to call an ambulance when she overdosed on Ecstasy. [NY Daily News]

It's never easy losing a job. On top of the humiliation of being frog-marched out of the building in tears by the steroid-abusing former army corporal turned security guard, you worry how will you pay the rent, the bills, your dealer - it's a very stressful time. But at least you have love. Oops. No you don't, because he just dumped you, even though he's a hairy loser with all the charm of a moist turd, and half the intelligence.

As you sit in tears outside the apartment you've just been evicted from, the detritus of your pathetic unsuccessful sorry-arsed life piled high around you, spare a thought for Mischa Barton.

Not only does she forever bear the shame of having regularly enveloped the greasy penis of Brandon Davis in her front bottom, but now she's been dumped by 'rocker' Cisco Adler. And Paris HIlton thinks she's fat. And she got killed off from her TV show, so now she's facing an uncertain future, says In Touch. You know, like we all do when we're in between jobs.

"Now that her days on the O.C. are over, Mischa Barton has had to curb her spending. According to pals, the 20-year-old star was earning a six-figure weekly paycheck for starring on the show, and even though she's making millions from movies and endorsements, she's secretly cutting back on expenses."

So that's just ONE gram of coke a day from now on, then. Righty-ho. What's that you hear? Why, it's the sound of my heart bleeding for Mischa.