Jezebel: bosom buddies

What Does The Perfect Breast Look Like?

Dodai — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:30:00 EDT

Plastic surgeon Patrick Mallucci has come up with the formula for the "perfect breast shape," reports The Independent. His research is based on topless models who have not gone under the knife. (Uh, tough job.) Mallucci says that an "attractive breast" has a balanced proportion between the upper and lower halves, with the nipple sitting about 45% down from the top, pointing slightly upward. "It's about wanting to create something as close to perfection as possible," he says. To which we respectfully reply: Fuck you. Some of us think that the "perfect" breast is one that is free from cancer and able to nourish a child, should it come to that.

Call us crazy, but doesn't the idea of a man deciding what a perfect breast looks like — and then potentially performing hundreds of surgeries to give his patients a set of perfect breasts — sound very, very wrong? Like the plot of a horrifying science fiction film? What ever happened to the "you are a beautiful and unique flower" philosophy that we were taught as children? And what of people without "perfect" bodies? Does Mallucci have a formula for that as well? And won't patients need the perfect body and the perfect face to go along with those perfect breasts? The Independent reminds us that breast augmentation is the UK's most popular cosmetic surgery procedure. We imagine that women will be lining up, factory-style, to purchase "perfection." But considering all of the shapes and sizes and colors and proportions women come in, is there really such a thing?

Surgeon reveals the perfect breast shape [The Independent]

Hey, did you know that we're celebrating...

Dodai — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 09:45:50 EDT

Hey, did you know that we're celebrating a century of the bra? The word brassiere first appeared in Vogue (of course) 100 years ago. Naturally, ancient Greeks, Minoans and others toyed with breast support before that. The Independent details a century of over-the-shoulder boulder-holders, from the 1910 party girl who created a last-minute bra out of handkerchiefs and pink ribbon to the "Torpedos" of the 50s and the Wonderbra of the 90s. Plus: Slang like "upper-decker flopper-stopper!" [The Independent]

The F Cup Cookie: Get Huge Knockers Without Surgery!

Dodai — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Japan: Home of all things adorable. Including the F-Cup brand cookie, a pinkly packaged snack containing 50mg of Pueraria Mirifica — an herb which allegedly makes breasts bigger, says Plastic Surgery 101. The plant mimics the effect of estrogen in the body, possibly making breast tissue increase. Despite the cute, innocent box with girly graphics, the root in the cookies is potentially lethal, since estrogen products come with an increased chance of blood clots. But hey, there are risks with implants, too, right? Sayonara, silicone!

F-Cup Cookies - No Need To Bother With Those Pesky Implants [PlasticSurgery101]
Earlier: Safe Sex In Japan: Cute & Cummily