Your Boobs Are Poised for a Major Breakthrough

Boobs: What is there to say about them that hasn't been said? Turns out, quite a lot — from women. And if us gals have our way about the girls, we will be monopolizing the conversation about our boobs from here to eternity, which is kind of nice, seeing as how we've had so little say in their presentation up to now. » 9/13/14 2:00pm 9/13/14 2:00pm

Want Bigger Breasts? Massage Them With Fresh Summer Vegetables

Breasts: Everyone wants them, but not everyone's got them. Hi, I'm Billy Mays and I'm here to tell you about a revolutionary new way of increasing your bust size without having to chant some stupid rhymes about boys and sweaters. What if I told you that you could make your breasts bigger just by rubbing them with… » 8/13/14 8:15pm 8/13/14 8:15pm

Fight Stigma of Female Nipples With This Top That Looks Like Boobs

Female nipples are so out right now. Instagram doesn't want 'em. In most states, it's still illegal to wave 'em around even though the same standards of decency don't apply to men. And Facebook won't let you link to 'em in photos because decency, The Children, the female body is the root of all sin, etc. But a growing… » 6/23/14 2:00pm 6/23/14 2:00pm

Nobody Wants to Buy Victoria's Secret's Dumb 'Sexy' Sports Bras

Last year, Victoria's Secret announced a new frontier in tit innovation: sports bras that don't squish boobs down like other, shitty sports bras that actually serve the function they're designed to serve. The boobologists at VS were going to push sexy sports bras, for the woman who can't even for a second bear the… » 5/05/14 4:40pm 5/05/14 4:40pm

Breastfeeding Benefits Have Been Exaggerated

Formula-feeding has been vilified in recent years, with new moms being told that if they don't breastfeed, they could be putting their child at risk for a slew of health, behavioral and developmental problems. But the findings of a new study suggest that's total bullshit. Breast might actually not be best. » 2/28/14 10:40am 2/28/14 10:40am

Washington's Weird Bikini Barista Culture

This past December I was sitting in a Manhattan restaurant with the rest of the Jezebel ladies for our annual staff dinner. I made an offhand comment about an acquaintance who'd once worked as a bikini barista. I might as well have said she'd once worked as a frog. "What's a 'bikini barista'?" said everyone, staring… » 2/05/14 3:01pm 2/05/14 3:01pm

Did You Know You Can Get Boob Implants Put in While You're AWAKE?

I'm generally not afraid of doctors and medicine and surgery stuff, and I know it's not uncommon for minor, outpatient, or even significant surgeries (such as BRAIN!) to be performed without general anesthesia. I mean, dudes get their penises vasectomied all the time with just local numbness! No big deal! But there's… » 12/24/13 6:20pm 12/24/13 6:20pm

For Some Reason, Security Guards Hate It When You Take Your Tits Out

New York City! Depending on who you ask, it's either a liberal utopia of weirdness and character or a bubbling cesspool of sin and filth. But there are two things everyone can agree on: first — technically, it's legal for women to run around topless here and second — when you do that, security guards get mad. » 12/11/13 5:30pm 12/11/13 5:30pm