How Much Is That Ass? A Price Guide for Every Cosmetic Procedure

Did you ever wonder how much Nicki Minaj paid for that ass? Or what Kim Kardashian's face costs her? What is the maintenance fee for Real Housewives? Here, we have an entire catalog of price points on every cosmetic procedure you've ever heard of (and some you haven't). » 3/06/14 4:30pm 3/06/14 4:30pm

Breastfeeding Benefits Have Been Exaggerated

Formula-feeding has been vilified in recent years, with new moms being told that if they don't breastfeed, they could be putting their child at risk for a slew of health, behavioral and developmental problems. But the findings of a new study suggest that's total bullshit. Breast might actually not be best. » 2/28/14 10:40am 2/28/14 10:40am

Did You Know You Can Get Boob Implants Put in While You're AWAKE?

I'm generally not afraid of doctors and medicine and surgery stuff, and I know it's not uncommon for minor, outpatient, or even significant surgeries (such as BRAIN!) to be performed without general anesthesia. I mean, dudes get their penises vasectomied all the time with just local numbness! No big deal! But there's… » 12/24/13 6:20pm 12/24/13 6:20pm

For Some Reason, Security Guards Hate It When You Take Your Tits Out

New York City! Depending on who you ask, it's either a liberal utopia of weirdness and character or a bubbling cesspool of sin and filth. But there are two things everyone can agree on: first — technically, it's legal for women to run around topless here and second — when you do that, security guards get mad. » 12/11/13 5:30pm 12/11/13 5:30pm

Depressing Study: Men Look More At Your Body Than Your Face

"I'm not a boob man or a butt man or a leg man, I'm a face man," say LIARS. According to new research, no matter what a woman's build, men spend more time looking at women's bodies than they do their faces, which means that we can stop with this "anti aging" bullshit and just let our mugs turn into the face of the dead… » 10/29/13 1:00pm 10/29/13 1:00pm

Boobs Age Faster Than the Rest of Your Body, Because Nature Is a Dick

Back when I was in my early 20s, before I became the proud, dazzling, professional, skirt-suited woman-scholar that I am today (i.e. a hungry, unshowered, still-in-bed hangover-crone who's only managed to make it to semi-vertical today despite having had to pee for literally four hours), I used to make this joke in… » 10/22/13 10:40am 10/22/13 10:40am

'Motorboating for Breast Cancer' Campaign Promotes Douchebag Awareness

Every year, millions of American men and boys are infected with douchebaggery — a soul-fatal condition in 90% of cases. While we know frustratingly little about the causes of douchebaggery, we see its devastating effects all around: public urination, the continuing popularity of Tosh.0, and, now, this latest Useless… » 10/16/13 11:20am 10/16/13 11:20am

In The Future Everyone Will Have Naked Selfies Online

Back in the bad old days, all it took for a lady to get fired from teaching job or lose an election was flip the bird at or show her areolas to a digital camera. No longer. In fact, as a recent case in Texas shows, we're moving toward a future where the only response to revelations of a "naughty" digital past will be a… » 10/10/13 11:25am 10/10/13 11:25am

Consistently Braless Nicki Minaj Hates Bras: 'Bras Are The Devil'

Nicki Minaj will be on Ellen this Friday, and in this preview clip, you can watch her walk out on to the set in a jacket that does not cover much of her torso, revealing a vast display of innerboob and underboob and, well, you know, boob. » 9/26/13 1:10pm 9/26/13 1:10pm

Here's a Baboon Grabbing a Reporter's Boob Live On the Air

There's been a lot to make fun of today — Ted Cruz, 300 sandwiches, Professor David Gilmour's whole...thing — but it would be a shame if we let the day close without pointing to a dark horse candidate for Funniest Thing We've Seen Today: this local news footage of a baboon getting fresh with a reporter. » 9/25/13 5:00pm 9/25/13 5:00pm