Tall Tales

This can't be real: "Alexandra Horvath, 23, stumbled and fell off her stiletto heels under the weight of her silicone implants...The implants caused Alexandra to lose her balance as she strutted her stuff in six-inch high heels." [Independent]

The Bigger The Better?

According to a breast clinic in the UK the average size of implants requested has grown 25% in the past few years. Women now want implants as large as 300cc, up from 240cc in 2002. [The Sun]

Choosing The Right Sports Bra Using Animated Nipples

A sports bra manufacturer created the bounce-o-meter computer animation that demonstrates what happens if you run without a bra. But if you have double Ds, you're probably pretty aware of what a wreck it is. [Shock Absorber, via Buzzfeed]

The French Turning On Breasts? Helas!

Topless sunbathing - once perceived as a symbol of liberated France's joie de vivre - is apparently under assault. More »

Olsen Twins Planning Boob Jobs, Brad Planning Affair, Aniston Knocked Up & Planning Wedding

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! This week, the Jennifer Aniston soap opera drama continues: According to In Touch, she looks pregnant; Star says she's planning a wedding, and OK! claims she had a "SEXY DATE" with Gerard Butler. As for Angelina Jolie, she's on two covers this week: Blissfully happy on OK!, with a wedding and another (adopted) kid on the way; humiliated and betrayed on Star, because Brad's been flirting and carousing in Berlin. As for Jennifer Hudson's family tragedy, while it was covered in all of the weekly tabloids, only Us put J. Hud as the main image on the cover. Life & Style went with a Carrie Underwood/Jessica Simpson skinny vs. curvy "battle." Intern Margaret assists as we rummage through Star, Us, OK!, In Touch and Life & Style, looking for tricks and treats, after the jump. More »

Busty British "Glamour Model" Jordan Is Ultimately A "Very Sad, Vulnerable Character"

The New York Times Magazine profiled Jordan, the nom-de-nudiemag of Katie Price, the mega-breasted British "glamour model" who is a tabloid staple in the UK but largely unknown in the U.S. (well, largely unknown but for the slavish devotion of Dlisted's Michael K., who chronicles her every move). She started out as a Page 3 model in the Sun, Times writer Ed Zuckerman notes, "one of the topless girls next door featured daily," in the popular UK tabloid. It took her several months of rejection to snag the Page 3 spread, Jordan says. "I remember they had a competition in The Sun — ‘Rear of the Year’ — where they wanted people to send in pictures of their bums. I did that, got a letter back, ‘Sorry, you’re not what we’re looking for this time.'" She was just an unremarkable girl, one of 365 a year (366 every four!) showing her tatas in the Sun, until she changed her fate by doing one simple thing: More »

Heidi & Spencer Tell Tyra That Lauren's Sex Tape Is Not A Rumor

Heidi Montag returned from her "relationship vacation" today to appear with her worse-half Spencer Pratt on Tyra and plug her various projects (that hideous clothing line, that horrendous music career). Of course Tyra asked them about the rumors of Lauren Conrad's alleged sex tape, and Heidi and Spencer both maintained that it was never a rumor and that a sex tape does, in fact, exist. They wouldn't say how they knew this (Heidi is 100% sure, while Spencer is 1000% sure), but it was implied that Lauren had confided in Heidi about it. I, for one, totally believe them, especially considering that Heidi also has an alibi as to why she couldn't possibly have been the person to leak the information to the press. "I was in surgery that day." Right: Getting her new breasts! Clip above.

My Beautiful Mommy Teaches Kids Why Mommy's Face Is Suddenly "Prettier"

Here's the perfect Mother's Day gift for your favorite surgically-enhanced breeder: My Beautiful Mommy, a picture book explaining plastic surgery to the under-8 set. Mommy is by Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a Florida plastic surgeon who tells Newsweek he was inspired to write the book when he saw parents coming into his office with their kids, who would become confused and upset when they saw their mothers in bandages. "Parents generally tend to go into this denial thing. They just try to ignore the kids' questions completely...With the tummy tucks, [the mothers] can't lift anything. They're in bed. The kids have questions." The hero of the book is named "Dr. Michael" and he looks like the dad in the Incredibles, all solid muscle and square jaw. More »

Big Wedding, Yes; Boob Jobs & Botox, No

You know, every time someone writes about weddings our commenters [And me. -Ed.] are all, "I would never spend any money on a wedding!" and "I can't believe anyone would lose weight for their big day, how superficial!" and "I am so unmaterialistic and wonderful I'm getting married in a burlap sack at the bottom of a big hole in the dirt because weddings are stupid and they should really be about true love and blah blah blah." But seriously? Fuck that noise. I totally want a huge-ass wedding and a pretty, poofy dress and I'll probably try to lose five pounds by joining some retarded gym program right before the wedding. There, I said it. But I promise not to go as apeshit as the women profiled today's Guardian. More »

Rock Of Love 2: Being In Debt From Your Boob Job Can Make It Difficult To Rock Bret's World

With her tattoos and bountiful breasts, Daisy has been a front runner since the beginning of the season of Rock of Love 2. But the price she paid for those breasts may end up costing her in the end and keep her from winning Bret's heart. As Amber pointed out on last night's episode, it makes no sense that Daisy is still living with and supporting her ex-BF when she's also in debt from her implants, lip injections, and hair extensions. None of it mattered to Bret though, since he let Daisy, and her ample chest, remain for another week. Clip above.