In stark contrast to my father... fun story I want to share, that no one needs to read. :) -
I had a mastectomy in July. My dad took the role of caregiver. He's not big on boob talk, and had been the caregiver for other boob-biposies and whatnot. I love then man, but titties on his only child terrify him.
So, after my mastectomy, I was left with my skin in place to fill with fluid to hold the place for the implant. The next day, it was big, bubbly, and like a water-balloon on my chest. I, having eaten a bottle of Lortab, felt that the most appropriate thing to do would be to make my dad TOUCH it. Here I am, in a sports bra and underwear chasing my dad around my living room screaming "touch it! It WIGGLES!" (I had another friend staying over, she was in hysterics.) Finally I cornered him, and he turns his head, extends an index finger, and pokes it. Just *poke* like you'd do with a stick to a piece of roadkill. He was mortified, and proceeded to get very very drunk at dinner, presumably to wipe his brain free of his daughter forcing him to poke her bandaged "boob sack."
So essentially, Mitch is the British amalgamation of Joe Simpson and Michael Lohan?
He even has a creepy-dude name: "Mitch." If your name is Mitch, and you aren't a leather chaps wearing former member of the Village People or a retired professional football player, you are an ASSHOLE. #amywinehouseboobjob
Don't care what your daughter does for a living or if the press is talking about it, as a dad, you don't talk about your daughter's boobs. Take note, Joe Simpson. #amywinehouseboobjob
Of course. Because what was really wrong with Amy was that her boobs were too small. I'm sure this fixes everything. Good prioritizing! #amywinehouseboobjob
@Penny_Esq: Yes. And then there's the fact that only people in good health should undergo elective surgery in the first place. I'm sure the doctor who agreed to this surgery has nothing but his patient's best interests at heart. Good judgment all 'round. #amywinehouseboobjob
Next year on my dad's birthday instead of sending him a card with the usual sentimental line "Thanks for being my dad, you rock!" , I'm just going to write "Thanks for never noticing the size of my breasts, or even that I have breasts."
Then again, "Thanks for not being creepy." would also probably suffice. #amywinehouseboobjob
@EkaterinaBallerina: Don't do it! It's like when you tell somebody to not look down. It'll just lead to your dad involuntarily visualizing your breasts. #amywinehouseboobjob
@FashionShowAtLunch: there are super creepy normal dads - they just don't the papers. My dad says the most inappropriate things all the time. #amywinehouseboobjob
Is that her father with her in the picture? Because if not, I am far more worried about the fact that Amy's chilling with a John McCain impersonator. #amywinehouseboobjob
You never hear this the other way around - celeb moms discussing how well-endowed their sons are. Thank heavens - this mini-trend is creepy enough as it is! #amywinehouseboobjob
I may be totally off base here, but aren't people dealing with drug dependency issues supposed to stay away from anesthesia and the kind of pain meds you have to take after a surgery like that? Seems like a strange thing to do during your recovery, either way. #amywinehouseboobjob
@BuffySummers: Interesting - Kelly Osbourne recently copped to having had cosmetic surgery in order to get access to pain meds, a trick she learned from her dad. I hope that's not the case here. Either way, it is strange, I agree. #amywinehouseboobjob
@futuremouse: Wow, I hadn't even considered that angle. Can a doctor even prescribe pain pills to someone with that kind of public history with drugs? I'd hope not (at least for a cosmetic issue). #amywinehouseboobjob
@BuffySummers: If you have invasive surgery, I'm not sure there's a non-narcotic option. I sure can't imagine recovering from the surgeries I've had without pain meds. But I do know you can have your boobs done under twilight anesthesia, and not in a hospital necessarily, so maybe your body gets less angry with you for that procedure than it does when you replace an ACL. #amywinehouseboobjob
@Penny_Esq: It's definitely a much easier surgery than an ACL repair (ouch). Either way though, I'd assume she must have taken something afterward (even if it wasn't something major, like what they'd prescribe for an ACL surgery). It just makes me think of Million Little Pieces (yes, it was made up) and how they wouldn't give him anesthesia while he was getting his dental work done. Makes me shudder, but I can also see how any drugs like that would hinder someone's recovery. #amywinehouseboobjob
@BuffySummers: According to AA, yes. And it is so insane to think of getting plastic surgery just for the pain meds. Good god, just go get some street heroin already. #amywinehouseboobjob
10/21/09
I had a mastectomy in July. My dad took the role of caregiver. He's not big on boob talk, and had been the caregiver for other boob-biposies and whatnot. I love then man, but titties on his only child terrify him.
So, after my mastectomy, I was left with my skin in place to fill with fluid to hold the place for the implant. The next day, it was big, bubbly, and like a water-balloon on my chest. I, having eaten a bottle of Lortab, felt that the most appropriate thing to do would be to make my dad TOUCH it. Here I am, in a sports bra and underwear chasing my dad around my living room screaming "touch it! It WIGGLES!" (I had another friend staying over, she was in hysterics.) Finally I cornered him, and he turns his head, extends an index finger, and pokes it. Just *poke* like you'd do with a stick to a piece of roadkill. He was mortified, and proceeded to get very very drunk at dinner, presumably to wipe his brain free of his daughter forcing him to poke her bandaged "boob sack."
Ah, dads and boobs. Classic. #amywinehouseboobjob
10/22/09
10/21/09
Wait, when's this picture from? Is it hot and sunny in London?
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He even has a creepy-dude name: "Mitch." If your name is Mitch, and you aren't a leather chaps wearing former member of the Village People or a retired professional football player, you are an ASSHOLE. #amywinehouseboobjob
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Clive Clemmons' got this one: #amywinehouseboobjob
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also: hearted! #amywinehouseboobjob
10/21/09
Then again, "Thanks for not being creepy." would also probably suffice. #amywinehouseboobjob
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why are there so many #creepycelebritydads ? #amywinehouseboobjob
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