Remember that eating disorders are inherently an existential struggle over the very notion of free will.
You can worsen them, and you can encourage them, but you cannot singlehandedly instill them in your kids, nor can you prevent them. The coolest thing about my mom is that she kind of got this. Her reaction to my adolescent 800-calorie-a-day diet was one of concern but also, exasperation; she had specifically taken such great care to rear me on healthy food and ABSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF MY WEIGHT; I was not even at all overweight, and now, as my big display of free will and rebellion I'd chosen anorexia? She made it clear she thought it was fundamentally shallow, and intellectually, I agreed, but by that point I had almost given up on free will when it came to eating; food issues were just my DESTINY, my curse and fate and blah blah blah. Anyway, that was probably mostly depression. I didn't medicate it, but eventually I suppose it subsided, and my intellect took the wheel again, which was lucky.

With that in mind, ask yourself, are you shallow?
What do you most want for your kid? Happiness and some sort of fulfillment, right? People of all sizes achieve that! The negative correlation between happiness and excess pounds, such that it exists, is totally all in your head, as the field of duh studies has recently confirmed. So if your kids think they're fat, you need to chew on this question: does that have anything to do with you? (Chewing on said question, btw, is a good way to stop yourself from nagging your poor kid!) Like I said, are you shallow? If so, is that the trait you'd most like to pass onto our progeny? (Please, for the good of the country, answer "No.") Conversely, are you so dogmatically un-shallow that they think you just don't have any idea what sort of world world they're living in? That was sort of my problem. In the end it was a good one to have. It was like, hey, the one genetic advantage I have here is that my parents are bright people with strong moral values who don't give a shit how fat I get, except inasmuch as they know I don't exactly have health insurance.

Be honest and remember it's not a big deal.
Acting like a kid's chubbing out is a grave issue that must be discussed in hushed tones is probably not the best idea, especially if they have the sort of grandfather (mine) who will go up to them and play the "Pinch an inch" game. While the Pinch an Inch game is annoying, I never really doubted that my grandfather loved me. I think he just thought kids today spent too much time watching the idiot box and not enough playing elaborate war games in the woods. And he had a point! I asked my friend Don, a former fat kid, whether his mom (a personal idol of mine) had ever said anything to him about his weight, and he recalled a time one summer at the age of 13 when he was eating a piece of pizza while wearing a swimsuit and somehow the topic of his blubber came up. Laughing, she agreed, "Yeah, you really have to do something about that." A few years later, when he stopped eating meat, she worried she'd scarred him; but seriously, Don was picked on his entire childhood for being a fat kid, and she basically played it perfectly, choosing to encourage his positive traits (such as he is fucking hilarious) and accept that he was never going to be as physically attractive as she is. (She is, to be fair here, really pretty.)

Don recommends this movie.
It is, he says, his "Exile in Guyville."

Earlier: Sometimes A Parent's Words Can Bear The Weight Of The World

Image via Skip To My Lou

No we can't tell you the price of Sigrid's Just Cavalli jacket. If you have to ask you probably think sprinting in a snakeskin motorcycle jacket and bangle bracelets is a good idea but it will probably only make you die from dehydration and Teen Vogue likes to look out for its readers.

This is ping-pong, "their way." The Etro scarf and Leekan necklace are unpriced and we'd say they're pretty optional anyway, but those yellow Louise Goldin goggles are obviously an imperative so why can't we get a price on that? In other news, that cuff is $439.

Perhaps you always thought beach volleyball players, so ripped and bronze and well-adjusted, exemplified some sort of platonic sportsgirl ideal…

But you would be forgetting the critical necessity of a $225 metallic swimsuit so high-cut you can't wear it without matching booty shorts!

And finally, fencing. Who knew donning puffy white astronaut garb and swordfighting with nerds could be sexy?

Why…Veronique Leroy! Who obviously designed these platform shoes — no we can't tell you the price — with your epee in mind.

Earlier: Vogue's World's Best Bodies
"Girls Hurt": The Soccer Story That Will Pain Your Pretty Little Head
Teen Vogue Message Boards: "I Gained Alot Of Weight Over The Summer. It's Disgusting"
Alexandra Michael Is About 28 Pounds Too Fat For Modeling

See? There's an isty bitsy floral two piece for EVERY body type under the sun. Unless you are athletic. Then you'd better cover up a bit.

"You're not as big as I thought you'd be," says Raquel Zimmerman upon meeting Jared Rome, America's number-one discus thrower. "You're not as tall as I though you'd be," says Rome in response. That said, Raquel is pretty tall (five feet ten), and Rome is pretty big (310 pounds.)

To Caroline Trentini, who recalls first seeing his photograph in a magazine, he immediately looked like a swimmer.
Bonus: In a shoulder-baring vellum dress that traces the outlines of womanly curves, Caroline Trentini plays Aphrodite to Phelps' Adonis.

A lissome Gisele and the star of the Cavaliers' lineup put their height to good use — her 5'11 frame carries off an elongated second-skin sheath spectacularly.

"I still have that kind of body," says Doetzen Kroes of legs toned from a childhood foray into speed skating — showcased here in a floaty mini that won't overwhelm sizes 0 to 4.

Olympic gold medalist Shaun White is photographed dropping in on a half-pipe as he is watched on the edge by a sullen, vaguely tormented-looking Daria Werbowy. Tormented by her five-inch peep-toe ankle boots? Or something deeper?

[Click image to enlarge]

Unlike Gisele and LeBron, who have sort of a Homecoming Court jock/popular-but-it'll-never-last thing going on, you can actually see Shaun and Daria together; him and his skateboard and his dumb band and her and her eating disorder and her oufits and effortless-looking-but-totally-not-effortless hotness. Yeah, you know that couple. Is there anything more to her? You won't know until he dumps her for the next one.

Paris is "skinny fat," Rios explains. "Clearly she is not truly fat, but she has no meat nor muscle tone and generally looks unhealthy. Plus, Ms. Hilton has horrible posture." Rios also gets into Tara, Nicole and Courtney's body dysmorphia, and, as an added bonus, runs down a list of "ladies who the media calls "curvy," but in real life, are totally petite and perfect-bodied:"

1. Catherine Zeta-Jones: Don't be a Zeta- hata! She's probably a 4.
2. Salma Hayek: No more than a size 2 or 4 with perfect boobs and butt.
3. Penelope Cruz: Ditto.
4. Scarlett Johansson: Ditto, again.
5. Shakira: Hips don't lie? What hips! She is a pixie.

Fat Celebrity Sex Symbols? Misty Rios Breaks it Down. [ClubPlanet.com]

Nigella has her own theories about why we live in a society that would target both herself and women like Beyoncé — who is gorgeous and talented, but was recently described as "erupting" out of her dress at an awards show. "I think it is a fear of flesh," says Nigella, "maybe of vulnerability and softness. I do think that women who spend all their lives on a diet probably have a miserable sex life: if your body is the enemy, how can you relax and take pleasure? Everything is about control, rather than relaxing, about holding everything in."

Plus, since Nigella's mother, sister and husband died of cancer, thinness is not something she aspires to. "I associate thinness with dying," she says. "When [my mother] had cancer, she said, 'This is the first time I have eaten without worrying,' and that is chilling."

The worst part? That women are doing this to other women. "In my experience, the weight thing is an almost totally female problem. I never feel bad about my weight around men, only women," claims Nigella. And, according to Watson, we're in a battle over our bodies:

The underlying issue is becoming clear. In the fat camp are those who represent the forces of goodness and womanliness, or indulgence and ill discipline, depending on where you stand on the scales; in the skinny camp are the savvy, fit, modern girls, or the life-deniers - if you're not so thin yourself. The size you are is a statement of your entire life philosophy, and the gulf between the two camps is filled with fear and misunderstanding. It is war, ladies, and it is our war. We are making enemies of each other on the basis of body shape.

The Big Issue [The Times]

Anyway, on the one hand, isn't it kind of wonderful that finding a partner means settling into a comfort zone where 30 pounds means nothing? On the other hand, what's with all the single people keeping their weight down, just until they meet someone they can get chubby with? And if you're already carrying a little extra weight, would you rather stay single than get married knowing you're just going to get heavier?

Gain A Spouse And You'll Likely Gain Some Pounds, Too [USA Today]

But don't go crying because you're a Column when you'd rather be a Vase... Today is the day you have to look in the mirror and smile. Because today is Love Your Body Day! The National Organization For Women has 10 ways to love your body, including having ice cream, doing some yoga, listening to positive music and having safe sex. We're gonna take our Cello ass to the store and get some Häagen Dazs.
Trinny And Susannah Reveal 12 Women's Body Types - Which Are You? [Daily Mail]
Love Your Body Day 2007 Is October 18 [NOW]

• Breaking News! Men go for hot women, according to a speed-dating study. Researchers found that the men in the study "tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold." However the women chose men whose attractiveness was on par with their own, because every chick knows a hotter dude will dump her in a ditch as soon as something sexier comes along. And this is how Brangelina was born. [CNN]
  
• Law enforcement is posting decoy ads on Craigslist in hopes of catching those who use the site to exchange money for sex. But how else is "Jews or Italians W/ Hot Faces Or Thick Cocks" supposed to find her dream guy? [NY Times]
  
• Oh fiddle dee dee! The hour-glass figure made famous by Sophia Loren, Scarlett O'Hara, and a few missing ribs is no more. Women's waists have grown seven inches in the last 50 years. Clearly we have feminism to blame for all that excess breathing room. [Daily Mail]

• Family therapy works better than individual therapy in treating bulimia. When Mommy insists that "no one loves a fatty" and Daddy says that ice cream is for losers, we can see why the 'rents might benefit from therapy too. [NY Times]
• Chronic stress may give some women fertility problems. So just relax, sit back, and spread 'em! [NY Times]
• One in 20 pregnant women smoke while one in 25 continue to drink even after they find out they're with child. Ladies, you have the rest of your lives to kill yourself with lung cancer and liver disease — let the child choose whether they want to party like it's 1999 after they come out of the womb, okay? [Daily Mail]
• A 14-year old girl stabbed her 16-year-old sister to death in a dispute over a guy. We repeat, over a guy. Sigh. This is depressing. Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield got into some cat fights over guys (remember Todd Wilkins?), but they never forgot the sisterhood. [Daily Mail]
• A serial stalker in the UK has been banned from being alone with any woman in Scotland for five years. Does it count as alone if he's 20 feet away, crouching behind a telephone pole? [BBC News]
• Women are more likely to die from major heart surgeries than men according to a study from the European Society of Cardiology. As a result, the group is reconsidering it's treatment of heart problems for women as the usual go-to-treatments like angioplasties and bypasses (which help men) are more likely to result in death in women. [MSNBC]
• Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a leading cause of infertility but according to MSNBC there's a far greater price to pay — the acne and facial hair that sprouts as a result of increased testosterone. Totally fucking humiliating. [MSNBC]
• A Kansas teen died when she jumped onto the back of her boyfriend's SUV as he drove away with another girl — the cheating bf didn't bother to stop when he heard "something" fall of the back of his car. He's being charged with reckless murder — not to mention being the worst boyfriend ever. [KCTV.com]

After your skin clears up—if it ever does—and you've mastered the "fuck you, old man" glare, it's probably only a matter of time before you'll decide to fuck up your body by growing a human being inside of you, leaving you with tears, saggy breasts, stretch marks and strange stores of fat. "I used to have a washboard stomach but now it's ruined," one new mom tells the Mirror. "It's the bottom of my tummy that really bothers me. It just hangs there, all loose muscle and shriveled skin."

That's nothing, course, compared to middle-aged spread! And you'll be really sad you let your body go to pot when you come to realize your children are nothing but "walking problems" to which you constantly have to "find solutions". It will be then that you also realize that you married a complete abusive asshole. And because he insisted on a prenup, you'll get fuck-all in the divorce, and look how high the price of a Tuscan villas has gone up!

You'll make do with a small shack and a lover named Benito. But then, God forbid, you get cancer! Even if you survive all of the hideous things specific to the disease, according to Sally Kydd, the author of Intimacy After Cancer: A Woman's Guide, the treatment will fuck up your sex life, maybe for good. "The vaginal walls can become tissue-paper thin, which makes them vulnerable to injury, and slow to heal," the breast cancer survivor told Newsweek. "At any age, the vagina can become as dry as sandpaper and may also shrink, making sexual contact painful. Add to this severe fatigue, night sweats, hot flashes, weight gain and fluctuating hormones, and sex can be difficult or sometimes impossible to enjoy after cancer treatment." If you're fortunate enough to NOT get cancer, you'll still get to experience most of those symptoms with menopause, plus, new research suggests, you'll probably get fat! Benito has, of course, left you by now, but at least you will still have your cat, since he survived his accident.

Annnyway. We're sure you don't really have to worry about any of this stuff. Since you got your new IUD, you don't have to worry about unplanned pregnancies, and surely someone will find a cure for menopause before you get to that point. You will probably age really fabulously, like Susan Sarandon. And your kitty will always love you.