By this point in your life of mining the internet for weird shit, you've no doubt heard of the HAPIfork, that utensil that aims to keep you from eating your marshmallow gummy bear casserole too quickly by vibrating if you start behaving like a ravenous jackal and take bites any faster than at a stately 10-second…

Earlier this week, Sarah Jessica Parker was on Watch What Happens Live, and Andy Cohen asked her about the time she was accused of having "witch hands."

I am loving this "Lustworthy" photo series from Jes Baker of The Militant Baker and photographer Liora K. It's bold, gorgeous, and exactly what we need.

There are some out there who think it should be and is obvious to female consumers that models are not what most people look like, that everyone knows their look is all due to a combination of rare genes and the magic of photoshop. Those people are wrong.

Don't eat cotton balls, don't eat cotton balls, don't eat cotton balls. That's the major takeaway from a teen "trend story" about girls who are — wait for it — eating cotton balls as a sort of dieting hack lifted from the pages of The Cenobite Guide to an Especially Painful Bikini Season.

Catching Fire is coming out next weekend, which means you can soon look forward to over two hours of basic cable CGI while quibbling over casting choices under your breath. Goody! As you hate-watch the latest Hunger Games installment, however, just remember the toll it has taken on the psyche of Sam Claflin, the…

Writing a long, long time ago in a papercut delivery mechanism called “a magazine,” Susan Sontag pointed out that our culture has a double-standard when it comes to aging. That is, dudes are allowed to age into grizzled old wrinklepusses, while women are required to either maintain the skin tautness of a porcelain…

A former dancer for the Royal Ballet is launching a British TV series called Big Ballet aimed at encouraging larger dancers, which is something you just don’t hear enough of (unless you’re re-watching the now-defunct Bunheads, unwilling to accept ABC Family’s capricious decision-making process).

A 14-year-old girl in Eugene, Oreg. received a painful introduction to the world of clothes shopping when she walked into a Rue 21 and was promptly and shittily informed that she was “too big” to shop there. To the ragemobile!

It’ll come as no shock you to learn that boys and girls in these modern-day United States, fed on country-fried steroidal chicken breasts and good ol’ American colas, have begun to hit puberty at earlier ages than they ever have before. This might actually be a good thing in some respects, since early adolescence may…

Upon my arrival at the steamy, hellishly hot little Brooklyn dive bar in which the 1st Annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant was to take place, the sense of eager anticipation was as potent as the sweat aroma permeating the room. "Let's see some small dicks!" was the general consensus of all the humans in…

Sales of Barbie dolls are down 12% as parents ditch Barbie for more realistic, "full-figured" dolls—possibly due to the modern movement toward not hating yourself. Success! The only problem is, the most popular alternatives to Barbie are either extremely expensive gingham extortion rackets (American Girls) or…

Pretty cute, you guys! Pretty goddamn cute. Los Angeles comedian Heidi Hayward put together this short video of comics freak-dancing in their underwear (in front of a brick wall, duh, sometimes in blazers, duh) and exploring their feelings about their jiggly butts. A little more size diversity would have been nice—it…

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is a total onanistic throwaway of an event, an opportunity for celebrities, politicians, and all the insidery media insiders to sit around the campfire and listen to a comedian gently mock them while enjoying really expensive truffle oil s’mores. That’s fine — even ordinary…

By now, most of us have seen Dove’s “Sketches” video wherein several unsuspecting women describe to a sketch artist how thoroughly hideous they believe their faces truly are (spoiler alert: it’s totally not true). “Sketches,” however, seems to come from as sincere a place as anything created on behalf of a giant…

Everyone can relax about their faces and bodies because if Audrey Hepburn didn't think she was gorgeous, we can all just give the fuck up.

This mannequin is from the Swedish department store Åhléns. Notice anything different about it? Unlike its waifish cousins silently judging you from the Wet Seal store window, this mannequin is based on a model between sizes 12 and 16 (according to Good's Yasha Wallin, the average woman is a size 14).

Erin Williams was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when she was 11 years old, and at 14, she decided to stop taking her insulin. Her body started to "burn through fat and muscle" and Williams lost weight quickly. Dangerous? Absolutely. But as ABC News reports, Williams actually experienced positive reinforcement:

A British study about mens' breast size preferences has yielded a pretty unremarkable insight. Actually, the most unremarkable insight possible — the highly subjective "medium" breast size category received the most survey votes (32.7 percent of them, to be precise). Before we cue a great eye roll for another…

Remember when a micro-violin had to be specially made and tuned to assuage Washington Post columnist Richard Coen's anxiety about how James Bond's screen evolution from slack-limbed inebriate to P90X infomercial model meant that cantankerous old lechers like Richard Coen might no longer be able to impress attractive…