Apparently Overplucking is a Thing. (Funny how this happens after the Times declared eyebrowlessness a trend.) Anyway: There are kits and specialists and pencils and transplants.

This news comes after the American Apparel eyebrow memo and the ceremonial bleaching of the brows on America's Next Top Model. Not to mention the fact that we know who does Michelle Obama's brows.

Breasts are an old standby. We've already focused on the butt (thanks, J. Lo), the abs (Britney, circa "Slave 4 U") and in early 2009, we spent an inordinate amount of time on the arms. Maybe it's eyebrows' turn. At least, unlike some other body parts which get fetishized, they're on your face: People can look you in the eye as they judge you.

After Overplucking, It's Time To Call The Professionals [NY Times]

TrueSlant's Katie Drummond interviewed Gay, 26, about "Exposed," a project in which weight-loss bloggers celebrate what they love about their bodies.

It started when Gay saw the following photo on a friend's diet blog:

"I got annoyed, angry, and disappointed," Gay told Drummond. "Why was this gorgeous, amazing woman, who has given life to a child, hating her body? Why was I hating my body?"

That's how Gay came to post this:

Several other bloggers have followed suit.

Drummond asked Gay if the growth of these types of blogs were healthy for women, or whether they just promoted anxiety. Gay replied,

[B]oth the intensely positive and negative is actualized... I follow people who don't count calories or points – you can find that if you want it. I remember when I was struggling with dieting/binging/body image and I would compare myself to those bloggers who I felt ‘have it all together'. What I came to understand is that was all have our struggles. Bloggers who have shared their lives have helped me see that no one is perfect. That even those women who ‘have it together' still struggle, but they overcome it by coming back to the core values of self-respect and love.

You could argue that exposing your body to more micro-scrutiny, even with a positive twist, doesn't do much to allay anxieties. But it's hard to quibble with a few words of kindness to your body amidst all the self-loathing.

Bloggers In The Buff [TrueSlant]
Exposed [Eating Journey]

Related: Exposed [MizFit]
Why Do You Love Your Body? [Roni's Weigh]
Exposed [Jungle of Life]

Earlier: Is Diet Blogging Ultimately Bad For The Soul?

In a piece for Newsweek's website, parenting writer Po Bronson explains that his 5-year-old daughter is excited for the Princess And The Frog. But:

My daughter's been infatuated with Disney princesses since she was 3, and she's also now showing some early concerns with her body image. It's important to her to "look pretty," or "look cute." She's said things like, "Those sneakers make my feet look fat."

Bronson admits that he doesn't know where the body-image stuff comes from, but wonders: "Do Disney princesses make young girls obsessed with thinness?"

A study released this week by Drs. Sharon Hayes and Stacey Tantleff-Dunn attempted to answer that question:

Hayes and Tantleff-Dunn brought 121 girls aged 3 to 6 into their lab and showed them video clips for 14 minutes. Half the girls watched princess clips; half watched nonprincess cartoons like Dora, Clifford, and Dragon Tales. Then each girl was given 15 minutes to enjoy herself in a play room, and the scholars recorded how many of those minutes were spent in appearance-related play, such as sitting at the vanity or changing clothes in front of the mirror.

You're probably thinking that the princess-inundated girls immediately went to play dress up and admire themselves, but they didn't. The reasearchers found no statistical difference between the girls who watched princess scenes and those who watched Dora and Clifford. Bronson writes, "Watching Anastasia and Cinderella and Belle didn't make them play longer at the vanity or try on more dresses afterward. It didn't make them more likely to pick the thinnest figure as the 'Real Princess.' It didn't exacerbate their desire to be thinner."

Despite the results of this study, staring at wasp-waisted cartoon ladies has to have an effect — maybe it's subtle, cumulative? Because 31% of the little girls said they always worry about being fat; 18% sometimes worry about it. If Disney's not giving them ideas, who is? Someone closer to home, perhaps? Bronson claims the girls said things like, "Being fat is bad." And, even more telling: "My mommy thinks she's fat."

The good news is that thinness wasn't the biggest concern on the minds of these 3, 4, 5 and 6 year-olds. The bad news is:

Asked what they would change about their physical appearance… these girls wanted to change their hair color, their clothes, and their skin color. According to these young girls in Orlando (40 percent of whom were nonwhite), it helps to be a princess if your hair is blond and skin is white.

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty: Looking at you.





Do Disney Princesses Make Young Girls Obsessed With Thinness? [Newsweek]

Earlier: Disney Princesses Rely On Good Looks, Little People & Men For Salvation
"Practical Character Reader" A Lesson In Xenophobia, Racism & Disney Villains
Is The Princess Problem Even A Problem?
Age Of Innocence? 3-Year-Olds Think They're Fat
Addressing The Princess Problem
Researchers: Disney Movies "Elevate" Heterosexuality
Playing Princess Is Just A Phase... Except When It Isn't

Janet—who was wearing very loud earrings for this interview—said that she was picked on as a child by the members of her family for the way that she looked, and that she held that long into adulthood. She says that it was only in recent years that she's learned to think that "nothing is wrong" with her physical appearance.


Of course, it wouldn't be a Jackson interview without discussing her father Joe. While Michael openly expressed his anger toward his father, Janet held it back a bit. However, his controlling nature, and "old school" disciplining techniques obviously had a profound affect on her.

Last year, the lower house of French Parliament voted in favor of a bill that would ban "inciting thinness." And earlier this year, it was reported that France has the highest proportion of clinically underweight women in Europe. Meanwhile, Britain's Liberal Democrats would like to ban Photoshopping entirely in ads aimed at those under 16, and require all other ads to carry a disclaimer describing the extent of their alterations.

The new French law proposes that all enhanced photos would be accompanied by a line saying:

"Photograph retouched to modify the physical appearance of a person."

Now, we're no fans of overly Photoshopped models around here, but you have to wonder if a stamped warning has enough impact. Much like the "smoking kills" warnings on cigarettes, I imagine this warning would be shocking at first — and then quickly become old hat. Your eyes would end up passing over it, the way they do over fine print. The truth is, visual images have an impact, and a few words on a picture can't keep a woman — or a young girl — from using a Photoshopped image as "thinspiration," a barometer or standard against which to measure herself.

In addition, not knowing how much alteration was done doesn't seem helpful, either. We've been posting "Photoshop Of Horrors" images since this site's birth in 2007, and there are always a few readers who say, "I don't think they changed her nose/waist/thighs… It's just lighting." Take it from someone who worked in magazines for 10 years: "They" change everything.

But all this is not to say that the idea of a warning is a bad idea. Shining a light on the lies we're fed by magazines and advertising campaigns is always welcome. And even if a "health warning" is not enough, it's a start.

France Mulls "Health Warning" For Fashion Photos [Reuters]
'Health Warning' Call On Model Touch-Ups [News.com.au]

Earlier: British Lawmakers Take Stand Against Photoshop
France's Attempt To Ban "Inciting Thinness" Incites Jeers From Some
La Merde Et La Mode
French Women Don't Get Fat (Enough)
Annals Of Anorexia
Photoshop Of Horrors posts

The first is about not politics, but exercise. Abby Ellin writes in the Times about the unique challenges some Muslim women face in maintaining both fitness and modesty. Some prefer not to work out in front of men, while others are dissatisfied with the choices of exercise-wear available to them (one woman interviewed finds the embattled burkini too formfitting when wet). What's surprising about Ellin's article, though, is it take on exercise, modesty, and beauty.

Ellin writes, "On the one hand, Muslim women are spared some of the body-image issues that other women face; on the other, that freedom can be a detriment to their physical well-being." Then she quotes personal trainer Mubarakha Ibrahim, who says,

We don't have the external motivation that non-Muslim women have. There is no little black dress to fit into, no bathing suit. When you pass through a mirror or glass you're not looking to see ‘Is my tummy tucked in? Do I look good in these jeans?' You're looking to see if you're covered.

Ibrahim's words make a certain amount of sense — after all, much of American exercise culture is geared towards looking good. But did Ellin really have to recast this by implying that freedom from body image issues is bad for Muslim women's health? In fact, the rest of the article makes it sound like a dearth of women-only gyms and the inadequacy of modest workout wear are bigger health risks to Muslim women than an inability to see their "tummies" in a mirror. Isn't it possible that modest dress might make Muslim women healthier, by exempting them from the pressure for a "bikini ready body" that can lead to eating disorders and feelings of inadequacy? Maybe not if Ibrahim has anything to do with it. She tells Ellin,

One of the ideas I promote is that when you are married and you take off your clothing, your husband should not be like, 'You should put this back on.' Even if you wear a burqa, you should be bikini-ready. You should feel comfortable and sexy in your own skin.

Take out the burqa part, and you've got Self magazine. Apparently modesty on its own doesn't free women from the idea that the point of fitness is to please men — at least, not if they're Ibrahim's clients.

Meghan Daum examines this issue further in an editorial in the LA Times. Inspired by the recent release of Lubna Hussein, a Sudanese woman arrested for wearing pants, Daum looks back at Naomi Wolf's essay in praise of Muslim dress. In it, Wolf wrote,

I put on a shalwar kameez and a headscarf in Morocco for a trip to the bazaar. Yes, some of the warmth I encountered was probably from the novelty of seeing a Westerner so clothed; but, as I moved about the market - the curve of my breasts covered, the shape of my legs obscured, my long hair not flying about me - I felt a novel sense of calm and serenity. I felt, yes, in certain ways, free.

Wolf's description of herself here is weirdly sensual — it sounds like she's saying, "thank God for this veil to hide my lush hotness." And Daum accuses Wolf of fetishizing modesty. She writes, "Wolf, for her part, is hardly the first Westerner to find a kind of romance in the idea of being covered. [...] It's not difficult to understand how demureness and chastity can be a source of fascination, even a kind of fetish, for all kinds of people."

Apropos of Lubna Hussein, Daum is mostly concerned with reminding readers that not every woman gets to choose whether to wear a headscarf (or pants), and this is a valid reminder. But what Wolf's somewhat tone-deaf piece also shows is that non-Muslim women (of which I am one) may not really understand Muslim dress and its relationship to beauty. Wolf seems to think of the veil as a nice respite from a critical, catcalling world. But as Ibrahim's words show, veiled women aren't necessarily immune to body criticism. Ibrahim clearly doesn't speak for all Muslim women, but her comments show that bikini rhetoric is spreading to affect even those who don't wear bikinis.

As Latoya noted last week, there are many reasons Muslim women choose to cover. For many, it's a religious decision. I'm speculating here, but I'd imagine that for these women, not having to look good in a swimsuit is an ancillary, rather than a central benefit. And while Wolf may enjoy the fact that modest dress takes the attention off her body, many women in Europe and America find that the veil actually draws attention to them. But they wear it anyway.

Wolf seems to want to show how different Muslim women are from non-Muslims, how much freer and even sexier life is when lived in modest dress. But really, women face many of the same pressures, veiled or not. As much as Westerners like to talk about the oppressive Middle East, much of the same sexism is visible here. And as much as Wolf trumpets the freedom of modesty, restrictive beauty standards may affect Muslim women too. Rather than romanticizing the veil, as Wolf does, or banning it, as France threatens, we should be campaigning to keep women from being judged on how they look — just one of many issues that affect all of us.

Fitness Tailored To A Hijab [NYT]
The Chador And Feminism Don't Always Fit [LA Times]

Earlier: Is There Feminist Discourse Beyond The Veil?

[Clip via CBS News]

I've been through the dress fitting process before, but each time it comes up, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. Not because I think I'm going to have a Cathy-esque freak out in the dressing room, mind you, but because heading to a formal dress fitting is a bit like taking a trip on Willy Wonka's insane boat: you eventually come out of it okay, but along the way there are some pretty effed up messages that spin in and out of your head, and you walk away wondering what the hell just happened.

The first thing I noticed when I stepped into the dressing room was a large sign that read, quite ominously, "THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT SIZING IS BEFORE, NOT AFTER." I then spent about 10 minutes checking around the benches and hooks to make sure Big Brother wasn't watching me dress, and eventually ended up standing in front of the mirror in a very ill-fitting gown, and frowning. "This one doesn't fit," I said to the woman outside the door.

"What size are you?" she yelled back. Ah, "What size are you?" The question that cannot be answered due to a lack of consistency amongst designers and clothing stores across the universe. I'm a size A here, a size T in these dresses, a size 998 in this kind of pant, and a size Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo in this particular top. Who the hell knows? "I'm usually whatever size fits," I called back. This was a trick I learned in anorexia recovery: we were encouraged to remove the tags from our pants and wear them simply as "our pants," as opposed to "our size X pants." Sizing is so ridiculously arbitrary that it doesn't do anyone any good to attach a sense of self-worth or self-loathing to whatever number happens to be on the tag.

The woman, slightly annoyed, then measured me and took down the size. "I'd like to order it a size up," I told her. I do this every time, to avoid being triggered by a dress that doesn't fit. She frowned again. "It's an empire waist," she said. "Where do you gain weight?" At this point, I was about to yell, "In my head, because it swells from banging it against my desk due to conversations like this," but I politely told her that nine months was a while away, that I tend to gain weight, like everyone else, over the winter months, and that it would be much easier for both of us to have the dress taken in than let out.

I honestly didn't think this experience would bother me so much, but I've been thinking about it ever since I walked out of the bridal salon yesterday: the way we, as a society, live in such an "event culture" that we need to buy our gowns a year ahead of time, the way the signs were posted around the dressing rooms, warning women to consider that—gasp!—their bodies might change, or they might get pregnant, and they should really consider all of these things before buying a damn dress.

We're so obsessed with the image of one day, captured in a photo album, that we start to question our daily routines and how comfortable we are in our own skin. The fact that I ordered the dress a size up speaks more to my own fears and ED triggers than anything, but I was still annoyed that I'd been forced to feel a bit of anxiety over how my body would look in May.

So, commenters, have you ever had a similar experience? And if so, how do you get through the awkwardness of buying an item of clothing that you won't wear for months and months?

[Image via UglyDress.com]

In a piece titled "Thin, Healthy, and Weary Of Unfeeling Busybodies," O'Neill Hill describes the emotional trauma she is subjected to by nosy friends and strangers who believe they have the right to comment on her body. O'Neill Hill is very thin, a result of her anti-seizure medication, which she has had to take since a blood vessel burst in her brain. She notes that her family is quite understanding and knows that she struggles to maintain a healthy weight, but that strangers feel they have the right to insult her to her face, noting that she must be anorexic or bulimic to have the body she currently has.

"I resent having to divulge my medical history to answer these prying questions — my eating habits and my weight are really nobody's business — yet I feel compelled to provide an explanation for why my body is the way it is," O'Neill Hill writes, "But the questions are one thing. The insults are another. People often, and quite unthinkingly, describe me as "bony" and "emaciated" when speaking to me." O'Neill makes the point that she is healthy, though strangers may not think so, based on their own prejudices, something that women on the other end of the spectrum, I'm sure, may relate to as well.

In many ways I sympathize with O'Neill Hill; I am also on anti-seizure medication, and I also tend to be on the thinner side, which is a combination of meds (necessary prescription ones, mind you) and genetics. And while I am quite sensitive to the "eat a sandwich" brigade, mostly due to my struggles with an eating disorder and my belief that yelling at a woman to "eat something" is both insulting and laughable in terms of a. trying to even come close to understanding why someone weighs what they weigh and b. acting as if "eat a sandwich" is a reasonable cure for anorexia.

However, as much as I understand where O'Neill Hill is coming from, and while I do understand when commenters say, "It hurts when someone criticizes me for being too thin," in the comments, I have to agree with Volcanista, a blogger who has posted at Kate Harding's Shapely Prose blog, who notes that "there's a fundamental question of degree here. In social discourse there may be pretty frequent complaints about those women who are too skinny, but it simply does not compare to the scale of fat stigma."

We live in a country where thin=good and fat=bad and lazy, almost on an automatic level. When Lucy Danziger of Self Magazine justified her photoshopping of Kelly Clarkson as showing Clarkson at her "personal best" what she was really saying was "her thinnest," as if being one's thinnest is equivalent to being the best human being one can be. God forbid Kelly Clarkson be her personal best and not be a size 2. What would the world come to!? Clearly being the best is only for the thin. And Beth Ditto, who gets a pass from the fashion world. Everyone else need not apply.

I do not doubt that O'Neill Hill struggles with the insults tossed at her, nor do I want to dismiss the pain she feels when people pick apart her body: that is real, and it hurts. But in our country, this kind of judgment goes on at a much greater scale, on a daily basis, to anyone who doesn't into the "thin" image we are all seemingly so desperate to attain. You see it on magazines, on television, in films, in the tabloids, in clothing stores, on runways, etc. I am a thin woman who has been picked on for her weight before (it was especially fun when I was dying of anorexia!) but I am telling you: thin privilege exists, and the judgment women who don't fit the ridiculous standards of beauty face is much worse.

In the end, however, I am reminded of my days in the hospital, where I spent time with women of all ages and sizes, who were all struggling with their body image, their weight, and the judgments tossed at them by others. We are so quick to sum someone up by looking at their bodies before we even give them a chance to speak: we are programmed to assign character flaws and personality traits and even psychiatric illnesses to a pant size or a number on a scale. Perhaps in recognizing that everyone is fighting their own battle, and trying to be comfortable in their own bodies, regardless of what the world is screaming at them to do, we can all be a little nicer to one another. Or at least mind our own damn business.

Guest Poster Volcanista: On Thin Privilege [Shapely Prose]
Thin, Healthy, And Weary Of Unfeeling Busybodies [LATimes]

[Image via Natalie Dee.]

First off, Blue admits that a lot of porn is just really bad, as in: too lame, too campy or too cheesy. She says:

For me, the real problem with most porn is its hokeyness — the ridiculous costumes, the awful cinematography, the ludicrous story lines, the terrible acting (not to mention how scary the close-ups sometimes look, how fake the boobs are, how some starlets really sound like injured animals...).

Though, for some people, those things aren't a turn-off, for plenty of people, they probably are.

Blue also says that some people compare themselves unfavorably to the porn stars on-screen.

And yet in my research and experience, the biggest roadblock for women (and men) to enjoying explicit imagery is the fear that they don't "stack up" to the bodies and abilities of the people onscreen. Erotic models and actresses bring up a whole range of adequacy issues, from breast size to weight, from what you look like "down there" to the adult acne we all periodically fight.

Many of us recognize that seeing images of thin models and actresses can make us more insecure about our own bodies. But with pornography, which involves explicit, sexual nudity of women often surgically enhanced to fulfill some unattainable ideal of female attractiveness - and participating in the portrayal of an act that many women have issues with already - personal discomfort can be taken to a whole other level. Pornography plays into the false idea that to be sexually attractive to men, or good in bed, there are certain things women have to do, be, look like, act like or enjoy, whether or not we actually can, are, look like, act like or enjoy those things.

Blue also takes note (although not by name) of Canadian scientist Meredith Chivers' research showing that women exhibit physical arousal by sexual imagery even when they consciously report not feeling it. From this research, Blue draws a relatively logical conclusion.

But that's the hitch: Even when our bodies respond to what we're seeing, not every woman feels empowered to enjoy the show. For years we've been told that we won't — or shouldn't — be turned on by porn, end of story, sleep tight.

The message has come from all sides — from conservative Christian organizations ("Traditionally, women are far more likely to engage in wistful, romantic fantasies than crude scenes of people engaging in sexual acts," Kathy Gallagher, cofounder of Pure Life Ministries, has written) to the radical feminist Catharine MacKinnon (who says porn exploits and discriminates against women, and encourages rape).

When everyone tells you that what you might be curious about, or even secretly like, is wrong, bad, sleazy, and shameful, you don't have to cast a line very far to land a set of inhibitions.

While not exactly the conclusion Chivers draws from her research (though reporting bias undoubtedly plays a role), there's little doubt that the social messages one gets about porn would influence our desire to watch it, or inhibit our ability to enjoy it.

Blue also acknowledges those feminists among us who worry about issues of objectification, sexualization and exploitation.

I've also heard, plenty of times, that porn degrades women. That argument always makes me wonder about gay male porn, which lots of women appreciate for all its hunky hotties in flagrante. If heterosexual porn degrades women, does gay porn degrade men? What about porn made by women — is that degrading, too?

I think here, actually, many anti-porn feminists would say yes, in fact, porn in general is degrading to women because the actresses allow themselves to be objectified. Speaking for myself, I have difficulty with these arguments because, as Blue implies, it denies agency to the (female) performers and judges their actions based on how other people view them. If porn performers are exhibitionists and enjoying performing sex acts for the benefit of others because they enjoy being seen, then I'm hard pressed to say they're degrading themselves. If the problem is with the way our society views women's bodies, then eliminating porn and sex work won't change that (and, frankly, with exhibitionists and voyeurs in the world, changing the kyriarchy won't eliminate the existence of pornography as much as change its structure).

Blue says that women should view porn as just another sex toy in their arsenal — a visual vibrator, so to speak.

Explicit sexual imagery is an aphrodisiac; it sends a direct current buzzing from our brains to our groins. Like a reliable vibrator, it can be a great tool. With porn, women like me get to experiment with making adult choices and trying on new fantasy ideas, just as we might try a different brand of condom for a change.

She recommends utilizing porn made specifically by or for women, in settings that respect performers' boundaries and make use of people of varying (and non-surgically-designed) body types — which certainly requires more research than surfing porn sites when you're horny normally entails.

Are More Women OK With Watching Porn? [O Magazine]

Related: Word of the Day: Kyriarchy [Feminist Philosophers]

Earlier: What Women Want? To Talk About What Women Want

This marks the the third time we've seen Gold's Gym is get press for its dumbass marketing campaign.

The WSJ piece, at least, includes a history lesson (for example, "bay window" was the term for "gut" in the mid-19th century). Plus, somebody invented a cankles "remedy" that "involves applying Preparation H hemorrhoid cream to the ankle and then wrapping it in an Ace bandage overnight." Ew. Can we just banish fucking "cankles news" now?

For The Body-Conscious, It's Now The Ankle That Rankles [WSJ]

Earlier: Celebrity Trainer Claims She's A "Survivor"
Gold's Gym Hates Your Legs

"Honestly? I thought I'd go for the bonding. I assumed I'd look better with normal teeth, and $1,400 wasn't such an astronomical sum to pay for that privilege," Orenstein writes, "It turns out, though, that my teeth are a trademark, one of those necessary imperfections that makes a person unique. And I'm content with that." Madonna and Lauren Hutton, two women with famous gaps in their smiles, would apparently agree.

It's not surprising, however, that Orenstein considered fixing the gap in her smile: the technology is there, and she considered it an affordable option, and in a world where the drive to look practically perfect in every way extends beyond just Mary Poppins, it's not shocking that anyone would consider "fixing" a perceived flaw. But in reality, the quest for a perfect appearance often leaves people with a generic look, one that is noticeably artificial and fairly ordinary when compared to how they looked beforehand. Actress Jennifer Grey is perhaps the best Hollywood example: her career tanked after she dramatically changed her appearance by getting a nose job, something she says she regrets deeply: "I went in the operating theatre a celebrity - and came out anonymous," Grey has been quoted as saying, "I'll always be this once-famous actress nobody recognizes... because of a nose job."

Of course, for many people, the opportunity to correct a perceived flaw is a welcome one, and the results come with a renewed sense of confidence and self-esteem. I suppose it all depends on how you view your imperfections: for some, they truly are flaws in need of repair, while for others, like Orenstein, gaps, birthmarks, and scars aren't imperfections at all, but rather a piece of oneself to celebrate and be proud of, things that shouldn't be hidden or fixed, but should be held up as unique and beautiful in their own way.

Dirty Dancer Grey's Nightmare Nose Job [Contact Music]
My 'Flaw' Is My Trademark [CNN]

The Movieline crew disagrees as well, going so far as to offer Gwyneth an intervention against her own detoxification and exercise obsession. However, I think the best way to counteract Ms. Paltrow's pile o'GOOP is to create our own pile of JOOP, don't you? Below, your JOOP Guide To Not Feeling Bad About Relaxing And Enjoying Life. Excelsior!!!

• DO: Not listen to this bullshit, please. If you have to spend a month of your life "detoxing" from a period of relaxation and enjoyment, then you might want to start reconsidering your priorities. Life is short. Going through a constant cycle of being "relaxed" and being "disciplined" is a set up for unhealthy attitudes towards everything from food to exercise to body image to self-esteem. Happiness is not something that you need to wash away, and you're not "cleaner" after dropping a few pounds of water weight from your colon. As Kyle at Movieline notes:"You've got millions in Coldplay money and A View from the Top residuals, you act a few weeks a year on an Iron Man movie, and you WORK OUT THREE HOURS A DAY. If you need to assign yourself a "relax and enjoy life" phase, then you are messing up life things." If there's one thing we all need to detox from, it's the idea that losing a few pounds is the key to "fixing" our "bad" spells of, you know, living happily.
• 
  
  
  
• MAKE: Cake. Or pie, if you must. But preferably cake. And then eat it. And then stop worrying about it. Cake is a part of a balanced diet, man. I'm not saying you should eat cake three meals a day, but the sooner people stop assigning "bad" and "good" to foods and start incorporating a variety of treats into a healthy, balanced meal plan, the better we'll all be. And the less likely we'll be to fall for stupid "this is my naughty phase, this is my detox phase" advice from the likes of Paltrow.
• 
  
  
  
• GET: A unicorn. I like to buy my unicorns from an exclusive unicorn dealer on Saturn, but you can probably find one at your local unicorn dealership. A unicorn, if you didn't know, eats bullshit for breakfast and shits out rainbows, which is really handy if you have a stack of printed GOOP newsletters in the corner of your room and you need a little color in your day.
• 
  
  
  
• BE: Happy. Really. Life is too short, you guys. I say this as someone who spent 7 years that I can't get back trapped in eating disorder hell, buying into similar crap notions that I could "fix" myself by going through a cycle of "relaxing" and fasting and so on. What works for a millionaire actress with a bevy of personal trainers and elite doctors and nutritionists may just be a disaster for you. And if you ever have to feel bad about enjoying life, then ur doin' it wrong.
• 
  
  
  
• SEE: A registered dietician, if you really want to change your eating habits. Fasts and detoxes are temporary fixes that don't encourage a healthy way of eating or a healthy attitude towards food. A good dietician will help you incorporate REAL foods into your meal plan (one can not life on juice fasts and frozen diet dinners alone) to create a realistic way of staying healthy and happy.
• 
  
  
  
• GO:Relax and enjoy life. Nobody should ever have to apologize or compensate for having fun and being happy. GOOP may want you to "nourish the inner aspect," but what kind of "nourishment" springs from trying to wash your "fun" times away? Perhaps if we really concentrated on the "inner aspect," we'd see that we're worth a whole lot more than a few lousy pounds. I know I'd rather walk around with a body filled with cake and happy memories than a body filled with a steaming pile of GOOP.

Gwyneth Paltrow: The Movieline Intervention [Movieline]

I grew up a swimmer; I spent 10 years on competitive swim teams, six of which were spent on co-ed teams, so to me, Speedos are uniforms, meant to be worn while racing. And though Speedos as beach wear for men aren't as popular in the States as they are in Europe, the ol' "Oh, dude, I saw this guy in a Speedo," story comes up nearly every time someone I know goes to the beach. But upon reflection I've realized that this is a bit messed up: saying something like, "He should not have been wearing that Speedo" is akin to saying, "She doesn't have the body for a two-piece," is it not?

Fashion retailer Alan Kelly tells O'Connell that Irish men prefer Bermuda shorts at the beach "because this type of shorts covers a multitude: if you are tall and skinny, then it covers your knees; if you are big and stout, then it will cover stocky legs. So it suits all shapes and sizes, which is important for Irish lads!" A sign that though it isn't reported nearly as often, men struggle with their body image when choosing swimwear as well; they just don't have a Cathy representing them on the comics page, I guess. Tom Julian, a stylist, tells the Houston Chronicle that men shouldn't wear Speedos because if they "are you're of a certain age, it looks like you're trying too hard. Some men actually think if they dress like a surfer or a swimmer, they'll get the hot girl. In most cases, it doesn't work." In other words, men have to deal with "age appropriate" swimwear choices, too.

However, this doesn't really answer the main question: outside of racing, should anyone really be wearing Speedos? Or is it a fashion faux pas, like socks with sandals? I guess my take on it is this: if you are comfortable enough with your body to rock a Speedo, and you're not being that creepy guy at the beach who sits a certain way to give the ladies a view they did NOT ask for, then good on you, man. However you want to spend your time at the ocean is your biz. But if the men of the world get a pass on wearing Speedos, then they need to back the fuck off whenever a woman who doesn't look like Adriana Lima dares to wear a two piece. We should all be working towards a culture where it's not what we are wearing, but how comfortable we are wearing it, and maybe that starts with both sexes finally giving a little credit to those who are comfortable enough to show their bodies at the beach without really giving a damn what anyone else thinks.

My Irish boyfriend, however, answered O'Connell's question with a big ol' "Ah, no. For fuck's sake."

Advice For Male Shoppers: Speedos Not For Everybody [Houston Chronicle]
Should Irishmen Wear Speedos? [Irish Times]

Caitlin — whose idea is similar to the Dressing Room Project — started by taking a picture of a Post-It she left in her work bathroom that told the women after her that they were beautiful. She now encourages other women to send in the notes they leave for others in public places, like this one, left atop a women's magazine ad for cellulite cream.

Caitlin says that it doesn't just make others feel better about themselves, it helps the women leaving the notes as well.

People realize it makes them feel better - it can seem impossible to tell yourself you look beautiful, but it's easier to do it for someone else. And once you do it, I think it makes you rethink your own image, and maybe realize that you can look in the mirror and like what you see.

She thinks that women are harsher on their own bodies than they are on others', and hope that it can contribute to a real debate about what female beauty is.

I wish I knew why women were in this box, I really do. We have such narrow definitions for such a wide range of women. It means that we're setting up for failure - trying to attain an ideal that doesn't exist, and an idea of health that's different for every single body out there. Being healthy is person-by-person. You can't just box that into one ideal.

Caitlin hopes that by thinking outside that box — and posting those thoughts on mirrors — she can help women understand that living up to some external ideal isn't the only way for them to have self esteem.

Operation Beautiful: One Woman's Post-It Note Empowerment [True/Slant]

Related: Operation Beautiful
The Dressing Room Project

Kirstie Alley famously shilled for Jenny Craig. Jenny McCarthy has credited Weight Watchers with helping her lose her baby weight. Marie Osmond has taken time out of her "making creepy dolls for QVC" schedule to push Nutrisystem, and celebrities from Valerie Bertinelli to Oprah Winfrey are currently discussing their weight loss goals on the small screen; all under the guise of "helping other women" who may be struggling with the same weight/body image issues.

But as Jan Hoffman points out in the New York Times, these celebrity weight battles may just be doing more harm than good, as they present the notion that women MUST be thin in order to be considered beautiful. Disparaging comments made by celebrities at their heavier weights often lead viewers to feel bad about their own bodies, as Sarah Morice tells the Times: "I can't believe this is still getting to me. I see what Kirstie Alley says about herself and how easy it is for that to become my script. It's easy to lapse into ‘Oh, my body's ugly,' and ‘What's the use?' She triggers all those messages for me."

Not only do these celebrities contribute to the notion that thin=healthy and successful, fat=disgusting and lazy, but they also present women with ridiculously unrealistic notions of what it means to be healthy and happy. Oprah has always gotten on my nerves for her approach to weight loss: for Oprah, it's always been about the numbers on the scale, instead of the actual health value. She obsesses so much about getting back to a former size or losing x amount of pounds that she loses the point completely: diets do not, and never have, worked. Oprah's insistence on attaching her value as a person to her weight destroys any messages she may want to give about "getting fit" or "getting healthy," as Oprah still doesn't seem to understand that one can be both without being 115 pounds.

Dodai previously expressed her frustrations with Oprah's weight-loss obsession: "Of course, there's another issue here: Fat-shaming. With those two words, "I'm embarrassed," Oprah makes plus-sized people - and yes, that includes me - feel like they should be embarrassed, too. Because Oprah is amazing, and Oprah knows all. So if Oprah weighs 200 lbs. and is embarrassed then you'd better be ashamed of yourself if you're anywhere near or over that weight, right?"

When celebrities engage in this "I'm so hideous, I need to lose weight" behavior, it only reinforces the notion that everyone who may not fit the twisted societal ideal of "health" or "beauty" feel as if they've failed in some way, or that their bodies are "disgusting" as well. It's become so insane that when a celebrity does gain weight, and makes no apologies for it, as Kelly Clarkson has done recently, the media immediately begins to wonder "what's wrong" with the celebrity, and "why she let herself go." God forbid anyone consider that Kelly is comfortable with her body and perhaps the slimmer image she held a few years back was actually the result of being caught in a "thin or nothing" mindset.

Adding to the madness is the fact that we only see these women through distorted lenses, through screens and photographs, and our perception of their bodies is based only on what the media presents to us. We hear their weights, their cup sizes, their waist sizes, etc, and feel as if it's something to strive for, when in reality we have no idea what their bodies really look like. We begin to believe that in order to be beautiful and loved, we need to ave 0% body fat and a "bikini bod." We put all of our trust in women who are clearly uncomfortable with themselves and their body image. We take tips from people who still haven't made peace with their own skin. It's never really about getting healthy or getting fit: it's always about a damn bikini or a smaller pant size or a need to shed a "disgusting" shell in order to fit the socially-acceptable view of "beauty."

We also begin to judge the bodies of others, based only on what we've seen on tv or in the magazines, as Lesley Kinzel of Fatshonista.com points out: "When you have famous people turning their weight tribulations into mass-media extravaganzas, they're contributing to a culture where passing comments on strangers' bodies is considered O.K." I've often seen this happen in the comments: "But isn't being that heavy just unhealthy?" "I'm sorry, but she's obese, and that's a health issue." "I'm sorry, but being lazy and fat isn't glamorous, it's unhealthy." We begin to believe that we have the right to pass judgment on the health, bodies, lifestyles, and motivations of others, simply because we've been so trained to believe that the only healthy body is a body worthy of a magazine cover.

Thanks to the efforts of the Kirstie Alleys and the Oprah Winfreys of the world, overweight women are expected to apologize for their bodies, as Kate Harding points out: "The culture rewards that self-disgust. Once you acknowledge that your body is not O.K., then people love you, because that's what expected of fat people all the time."

We often have battles break out in weight-related threads, namely over the concepts of thin privilege and the judgments passed by those who think that fat=unhealthy. The truth is that we're so screwed up as a society, in terms of how we view weight, that we can not let go of whatever messages have been drilled into us by popular culture. Everyone is busy judging everyone else's weight because so many of us are uncomfortable with our own, and when we see someone who is, we immediately become suspicious or declare that that person is "clearly unhealthy" in their approach to body image or weight. Here is where thin privilege comes into play: fat=always bad, thin=always good. People do not want to factor in genetics, the concept of being heart-healthy at a higher weight, or the notion that not all women are designed to weigh 110 pounds.

Perhaps instead of holding up celebrities for "battling" with their weight, we should begin celebrating celebrities who refuse to apologize for their bodies, and who embrace positive body image. It won't be easy, as most celebrities would rather be rewarded for being thin than celebrated for being comfortable in their own bodies, but one hopes that eventually, famous women will stop tearing themselves down, as all it does is make things that much harder for the rest of us.

Binging On Celebrity Weight Battles [NYTimes]
Kelly Clarkson: Weight Debate [Star]
Earlier: Oprah's "Embarrassed About Her Weight"; I'm Pissed Off