• In an interview with The Insider that airs tomorrow, Hailey Glassman says her boyfriend Jon Gosselin will "take his anger out on me... He has 'mantrums.' I shouldn't have to put up with being emotionally abused."

• "...I cry and say, 'Why are you so mean to me?'" Hailey says people have been criticizing her since she started dating Jon and "I get threats everyday. I get called a home wrecker and a fat whore. People will stare or point. It gets worse everyday." Yet, she still doesn't want to leave him. "I don't want to leave him all alone," she says. "At the end of the day, I love him but I dislike him at times. When I love someone I would never hurt them." There's a tear-filled preview here. [People, The Insider]
• Jon Gosselin's former nanny/lover Stephanie Santoro says she saw Jon smoking pot when the kids were in the house. "He said they were in bed and that he was out back smoking when we got there," says Santoro. "It was just Jon there that night with the kids…[Jon said], ‘That wore off quick – but it was just seeds…My good stuff is in New York." [Perez Hilton]
• On The Ellen DeGeneres Show Ellen asked Kate Gosselin about dating again and she said, "I'm not thinking about it, but the thought has crossed my mind at some point [that] it's going to be scrutinized... Let's not talk about it." [People]
• Jon Gosselin's rep denied In Touch's claim that a Jon Gosselin-Nadya Suleman reality show is in the works, but a rep for the reality show insists, "We've been developing this show for months." He says Jon is only denying it because, "After someone brings it to the media, it just freaks people out, but we're not BS-ing. This is going to end up on a network. We're talking to all four of them...Fox, ABC, NBC and CBS." The source says the show would start off as a one-time special and "We're even talking about scheduling it around the Superbowl. We think it could be that big. We think it could be American Idol-type" big. [E!]
• Katie Couric is dressing as Aaden Gosselin for Halloween. "I met Kate and she seems very nice," Couric said, "and I told her I was gonna be Aaden, and she said, 'You have to make sure you wear the glasses at the end of your nose.'" [Extra]
• Jessica Simpson just can't catch a break. Now PETA is giving her "whale-sized grrrs" for performing at Sea World. [U.S. News]
• Ed Meyer, who is producing a mockumentary called How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J-lo and and Ojani Noa Story, says he intends to sell home videofootage of Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa. [The Wrap]
• The LAPD has handed over the "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" case to the District Attorney, who said he'd file charges against Courtney Ames, Nick Prugo, Diana Tamayo, Roy Lopez Jr. and Alexis Taylor later today. [TMZ]
• Add Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green to the list of celebrities robbed by the "Burglar Bunch." Green's gun and some of Fox's t-shirts were stolen from his home recently, but he didn't realize there had been a break in because he was out of town shooting a movie. [TMZ]
• This Is It has already earned $2.2 million from late-night screenings, which distributor Sony calls "unprecedented" for a Tuesday in October. [AP]
• According to Dr. Arnold Klein's medical records he injected Michael Jackson with an intra-muscular drug labeled "I.M. Injection" 51 times in three months. An L.A. dermatologist says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for Demerol. [TMZ]
• A medical board investigator testified today that Dr. Sandeep Kapoor kept a stash of Anna Nicole Smith's medical records hidden in his kitchen and on the floor of a closet at his home. The files had notes like, "opioid dependence on methadone" and "benzo addicted? To avoid" that were not included in her official medical records at his office. [AP]
• The People cover featuring Nicole Richie and her new baby was one of the mag's worst-selling issues. Just over a million magazines were sold, compared to People's usual average of 1.4 million a week. She was reportedly paid in the "mid-six figures" for the photos. [N.Y. Post]
• Bob Barker donated $1 million to Drury University to establish a professorship on animal rights that he hopes will lead to a full undergraduate degree program. [AP]
• Check out Adam Lambert's new album cover here: [Buzzfeed]
• Lisa Kudrow will guest star on Cougar Town as a "mean" dermatologist who treats Courteney Cox's character. [N.Y. Post]
• Kanye West and animator/cartoonist Bill Plympton are releasing a book called Through the Wire: The Words and Lyrics of Kanye West next month, which includes illustrated versions of 14 of Kanye's lyrics along with commentary "that gives insight into the man that we know." [Publishers Weekly]
• Jim Weatherly, the man who wrote "Midnight Train to Georgia," sings the original version. [Extra]
• Abigail Breslin will star as Helen Keller in a Broadway revival of The Miracle Worker with Alison Pill playing Annie Sullivan beginning in February. [N.Y.T.]
• Hayden Christensen and his brother Tove have filed a lawsuit against producer Philippe Martinez, who claimed to have secured $250 million for the production and distribution of independent films. They had entered into an agreement with Martinez to give him first-look rights to film projects from Hayden's Forrest Park Pictures. [The Wrap]
• Stephanie Pratt was formally charged with suspicion of DUI today. She was arrested two weeks ago after two breathalyzer tests registered .08 and .09. If convicted she could face up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. [TMZ]
• According to The National Enquirer, Josh Duhamel has been cheating on Fergie. He's having an affair with a "buxom, blonde stripper" named Nicole Forrester who claims their fling started when Josh introduced himself as "JD" and said he was in town making a porno movie. [National Enquirer]
• When asked if she and Taylor Lautner are dating, Taylor Swift said, "I don't know, he's an amazing guy and we're really close … and ah … yep... We're in a movie together and I am really excited about seeing it." [People]
• Denise Jonas says her son Kevin Jonas is marrying "the right girl." She says she's very similar to his fiancée Danielle Deleasa and she teases Kevin, "You're marrying your mother – but she is just thinner and prettier." [People]
• The recession is hitting everyone hard. 50 Cent says, "I buy diamonds on a very regular basis, but now I am selling my old stuff before I get something new. These are times when you learn about the value of money." [The Telegraph]

• Last week, Katherine Heigl complained that "cruel and mean" Grey's Anatomy producers forced her to work a 17-hour day, but according to rumors, the schedule was the result of producers shuffling things around to let her promote The Ugly Truth.

• Ken Levine, a producer who does not work on Grey's, says that everyone on the crew was paid overtime for the long day, adding, "This is an extreme case of chutzpah, but it's not uncommon that when shows become big hits cast members become much in demand... All of a sudden, the show that launched their success is now sort of an imposition... So producers are put in the sticky position of either denying them these outside projects or moving heaven and earth to accommodate them." [The L.A. Times]
• EW reports that Jude Law is expecting his fourth child this fall, "following a relationship last year." A rep adds, "no other statements will be made." Mwahaha...we'll see about that! [EW]
• Brad Pitt joked, "It's so tough being an actor... Sometimes they bring you coffee, and sometimes it's cold, and sometimes you don't have a chair to sit on." [People]
• This morning Star said that Michael Cera is 21 and had been dating 33-year-old Charlyne Yi for the past three years, but the two recently broke up (right before their film Paper Hearts opens). Newsweek ran an article dubbing him "The Hipster's Cougar Cub" but then posted a retraction, saying she's probably in her early 20s even though numerous sources say she's 33. Nobody knows here real age, and Newsweek also says he's 20, so we really have no idea how old these kids are. [Newsweek]
• Michael Jackson's friend Dick Gregory said that during MJ's molestation trial he called him saying, "They're trying to kill me ... they'll poison me!" but he was actually just so extremely dehydrated that a doctor at the hospital said if he'd waiting another 12 hours to come in he would have died. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's former nutritionist says he mostly existed on juice and smoothie diet, but "He loved trail mix, and once a month he had to have fried chicken." [E!]
• Michael Jackson's chef, Kai Chase, said she knew something was wrong on the morning of MJ's death because Dr. Conrad Murray didn't come downstairs to get the juice and granola he brought him every morning. She says, "I started preparing the lunch and then I looked at my cell phone and it was noon. About 12:05 or 12:10 Dr. Murray runs down the steps and screams, 'Go get Prince!' He's screaming very loud. I run into the den where the kids are playing. Prince runs to meet Dr. Murray and from that point on you could feel the energy in the house change. I walked into the hall and I saw the children there. The daughter was crying. I saw paramedics running up the stairs." Chase, the nanny, the housekeeper, and the kids formed a prayer circle as paramedics tried to save MJ. [Us]
• The DEA and the LAPD are fighting with Las Vegas police because the former agencies wanted to do a simultaneous raid of Dr. Conrad Murray's Houston and Las Vegas residences to maintain an element of surprise, but the Las Vegas police held up the second raid for nearly a week. [TMZ]
• Q: What's hanging above your sofa? David Cross: A painting of Michael Jackson being honored in the Rose Garden with Ronald and Nancy Reagan by his side. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Is Blake Fielder-Civil just holding daily press conferences now? Today he announced that Amy Winehouse cheated on him with four other guys during their marriage. [The Sun]
• When asked about the tabloid-generated rumors that Jessica Simpson would reunite with John Mayer, John's friend Rob Dyrdek said "absolutely not," but added that he "wouldn't rule out... I'm just saying [I don't think so]." [People]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, Us claims Tony Romo is dating Natalie Smith, the daughter of his former athletic director at Eastern Illinois University, even though all parties deny it. A source says they're "are are not officially dating, but they are having an intimate relationship." [Us]
• Ryan Reynolds rep has denied rumors that he skipped Comic-Con because of a fight with wife Scarlett Johansson saying, "[The report] is completely untrue. Warner Brothers never planned to have Green Lantern as part of their panel at this year's Comic-Con and Ryan is in Europe shooting a film." [People]
• Yesterday Kelly Clarkson blamed producer Ryan Tedder for not telling her that the backing track on her song "Already Gone" is the same one used on Beyonce's "Halo." Today Tedder replied, "They are two entirely different songs conceptually, melodically, & lyrically and I would never try to dupe an artist such as Kelly Clarkson or Beyoncé into recording over the same musical track, the idea is both hurtful & absurd." [TMZ]
• Ugh. More Twitter clues that Miley Cyrus is leaving her Jonas Brother for Justin Gaston. She Tweeted a line from one of Gaston's songs (apparently he writes music) this morning. [People]
• Georgia Sheriff Al St. Lawrence says he didn't do anything wrong by arresting and releasing the 53-year-old man accused of stalking Miley Cyrus last month. "If we had heard something about this guy supposedly being a stalker or he had been charged with a felony he wouldn't have been released," said St. Lawrence. [WSAV]
• Johnny Depp is looking at schools near Bath, England, where he recently bought a home, for his children Lily-Rose, 10, and Jack, 7. [The Daily Express]
• Madonna has written a column titled "How My Life Changed" about her religious awakening for the Israeli paper Yediot Ahronot. [AP]
• Russell Crowe walked into a charity shop in the U.K. next door to the cafe he's been frequenting while working on Robin Hood and made a £1,000 donation. [BBC]
• Friends of LeAnn Rimes and Dean Sheremet aren't doing much to dispel the rumors that their marriage ended because he's gay (in addition to her affair). They say the two were always spotted shopping for clothes for LeAnn around Nashville and, "When she met Dean, the whole image of who LeAnn Rimes was completely morphed into 'fabulousity," says the source, adding, "Her wardrobe, hair and makeup changed almost over night from the time they started being together." [People]
• For some reason Radar Online has posted the last blurry picture taken of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen a few hours before she was killed in a hit and run. [Radar Online]
• Bob Barker met with members of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians in North Carolina to ask them to stop exhibiting bears in pit-like enclosures at local zoos. [Yahoo]
• Yesterday Courtney Love insulted The Veronicas and Taylor Momsen via Twitter. Lisa Origliasso Tweeted: "Is wondering what is considered 'credible' these days anyway!? A sob story? A drug addition? A guitar? Bleached hair? Give me a break.." [The Veronicas]
• Though a promo for The Real Housewives of Atlanta shows Sheree Whitfield pulling Kim Zolciak's wig off, Kim says, "It didn't happen." Co-star Lisa Wu Hartwell said of the incident, "Did that happen? You have to tune in to see that. But I know she had a hell of a grab on that. She had a serious mean grip." [Us]
• A public records search has revealed some of the names of the rides at the theme park Wizarding World of Harry Potter inside Universal Studios Orlando, including Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Flight of the Hippogriff, and Dragon Challenge. [The L.A. Times]
• While promoting her new reality show How'd You Get So Rich? Joan Rivers said, "I'm still in this business at age 197, and am still relevant." [Media Week]
• A memorial garden honoring Adrienne Shelly, the Waitress actor, writer, and director who was murdered in 2006 will be dedicated in New York's West Village next week. [The N.Y. Times]
• Dolly Parton's Broadway musical 9 To 5 will close around Labor Day after a short run, losing about $14 million. [N.Y. Post]
• The Bachelorette Jillian Harris says of her engagement to Ed Swiderski, "It feels more normal than any relationship I've ever had," Harris says. "It's very strange how it's such a contradiction to have something so normal come from something that's so manic." [People]
• DJ AM was once a cocaine addict and survived a plane crash, and this fall he'll help the families of addicts stage interventions on the MTV show Gone Too Far. "There's no reason why I should have lived or why I lived and they didn't," Goldstein said. "I'm never gonna know. But I am alive and I'm here and I have to do something better with my life now." [The L.A. Times]
• "(I'm) a woman who has been through life experiences, thank God, and therapy. I love therapy! I'm very into it. I'm very in touch with my feelings, so I'm a completely different person. Not that different but you know... I gotta tell you, there's nothing like going in and sitting down and talking to someone who has no emotional tie to your life. Just to talk to someone. It's amazing." — Eva Mendes [The Daily Express]
• A fan asked David Beckham where he came up with his children's names and he responded: "With Brooklyn, we found out when we were in New York that Victoria was pregnant with him, so that's where his name comes from. Romeo comes from [the fact] that we're a very romantic couple. When we first met Tom Cruise - actually quite a few years ago – I said 'Isn't Cruise a really nice name?' And Cruz came from that. Tom was one of the first people we phoned when Cruz was born and told him. [People]
• When a reporter suggested Mad Men reflected the classiness of the '60s, Jon Hamm replied: "Buddy, I don't know if they had class back then. I can send you a couple of links of stuff where guys are berating their wives for making their coffee badly. What I think happened in the '60s is I think irony happened. And the idea of selling non-earnestly became cool. And obviously that's not a mistake that that's when the baby boomers started getting 18. We're seeing a lot of it now, we're seeing these cool hipsters, man ... You can't tell 18-year-olds anything. ... That's what happens. The irony happens. And it's cool to be in a not-cool place. Get it man? And so that's what the big shift was that our guys are trying to figure out." [The L.A. Times]
• January Jones said Mad Men producers admonished her for looking too thin. "I'm naturally pretty thin, so I'm trying," she said, explaining that all the women on the show are "encouraged NOT to work out. We want soft; we don't want any muscle definition. They tell us to gain weight, gain weight, gain weight, because they want a soft, voluptuous woman which they were [back then] which is beautiful, as it should be." [I'm Not Obsessed]

• Lindsay Lohan ended a relationship with a woman a month ago and has been accused of being too thin... so clearly she's pregnant. She's also supposedly distraught because she doesn't know who the daddy is.

• When reporters asked Linds about her bun in the oven, she just laughed. We don't blame her. [E!]
• Billy Arnone, Carrie Prejean's brother, posted a video on YouTube today to defend his sister and promote his dirt bike racing career. He says they were "raised right" and adds, "I've never been a skinhead." Thanks for clearing that up. [TMZ]
• In this video, recorded from an Eminiem radio appearance, he says, "we're taking callers now, any women who want to be peed on." When the host says Mariah Carey is on the line, Eminem says he's already peed on her. [YouTube]
• Though Michael Jackson is being sued over his sold-out London comeback concerts, he has already started rehearsals with choreographer and director Kenny Ortega, who worked on Dirty Dancing, High School Musical and MJ's previous Dangerous and HIStory tours. [The L.A. Times]
• Just so you know, Vanessa Hudgens, "will show nudity in a film when the time is right," she said. "Right now, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it, but like I said, when the time's right, if it's an amazing movie that I'm really passionate about and that's what it calls for, then we'll see." [E!]
• Megan Fox complained, "It pisses me when people fucking complain that I'm too beautiful to get a part. That's bullshit." She added, "And if I weren't attractive I wouldn't be working at all." [The Sun]
• Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 says she is horrified by claims that she had an affair with her bodyguard, Steve Neild. "Of course, [Neild and his family] travel with us at times, and we've spent holidays together, because, in this situation, your circle grows smaller and smaller, and it's very natural to become friends with your manager, your publicist, your security team ... they're the only people you have left. And now they're coming under fire." says Kate. "I'm totally panicking, and thinking, 'We are going to lose our last set of friends.' I keep calling them, begging, 'Seriously, I'm so sorry. Don't run away from us.' They keep saying, ‘We're fine, we're fine.' But they have paparazzi in front of their house. It's so upsetting." [People]
• Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard has revealed that she just got married and is 5 and a half months pregnant. She married photographer Sacha Brown in Indonesia. In keeping with local custom, she wore a black, long-sleeved tunic, a sarong and a white veil, and Brown wore a hat, a sword, and a sarong. "A long, manly sarong," said Beard. "He felt he looked like Aladdin!" [People]
• Rachel Hunter says her wedding to hockey player Jarrett Stole will take place in Northern California in mid-August, but her guests may want to wait to book tickets. "I am terrible" at wedding planning, Hunter says. "I need to be given less time than a year to plan, because I change my mind so often. It was going to be in Mexico, but we decided otherwise. I've made seven changes to the location." [People]
• Bob Barker may not come to the Game Show Awards this weekend because Betty White might be there. He and White are feuding over an elephant he wants relocated from the L.A. Zoo. [BuzzerBlog]
• When Matthew Reeve, son of Christopher Reeve, runs the New York City marathon to raise money for his late father's foundation, which supports people with spinal cord injuries, he will wear number 1275, the represent the 1.275 million people with spinal cord injuries. [People]
• In the trial over Brooke Astor's son allegedly changing her will, film producer John Hart testified that even though she'd met Matthew Broderick many times, at a dinner after The Producers she didn't recognize him. Hart says Broderick said to her, "Brooke, I'm Matthew. You love me. What did you think of the play?" [Gothamist]
• When asked if he would be in the Sex and the City sequel Jason Lewis said, "[There's] a good chance, yeah." He also congratulated Sarah Jessica Parker on her new twins and said, "She's a really neat lady. She's obviously prolific in what she's done - she's successful - but when she brought the kid to the set, mom would come on. She's very sweet with children, you can see that joy and innocence come out of her." [PopSugar]
• "We're very excited," said Kristin Davis of her Sex and the City co-star's new babies. "I [will] get to hold one, when Sarah is holding the other." [People]
• Joseph Fiennes is starring in a London production of Cyrano de Bergerac. He says of his character's signature feature, "Actually, we are just using my nose... No, I've had this extraordinary death mask cast done of my face in plaster to make this prosthetic nose, about four inches long." [The Telegraph]
• Prince Williams made a surprise visit to 109-year-old Catherine Masters because she wrote to the Queen politely pointing out that she had sent her the same birthday card for the past five years. The two had tea and talked, "He told me he liked making shepherd's pie and said he used a masher to mash the potatoes," she said, "but I told him he was doing it wrong - he should use a fork to fluff the potatoes." [The Daily Mail]
• Depeche Mode canceled an Athens concert Tuesday after lead singer David Gahan got sick and had to be taken to the hospital. [Yahoo]
• Ricky Gervais says of his Night At The Museum 2 co-star Ben Stiller, "The idea was to put him off and make him laugh... the best thing about working with Ben was putting him off. He takes it so seriously and he's such a professional." [The Star]
• Dave Gahan, who once overdosed on drugs, says of his Depeche Mode bandmate Martin Gore quitting drinking three years ago, "He is a changed man. There's a different side of Martin that has always been there, but sometimes it gets clouded when the drinking and stuff becomes more important than anything else. I think it got to that phase on the last tour, and Martin was the one that stood up and said, 'You know what? I've got to stop this.' It's sort of one of those cliches, one of those myths, that you have to be really messed up to do something cool artistically." [CNN]
• Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth will star as the parents in the new Addams Family musical. [The Daily Express]
• French icon Isabelle Huppert has been named jury president of the Cannes Film Festival, replacing Sean Penn. "It was not easy to find someone after Sean Penn," festival director Thierry Fremaux said. "Sean was great as a president. We'll miss him this year." [Yahoo]
• Linda Fiorentino's ex-boyfriend, FBI agent Mark Rossini will be sentenced on Thursday. He is charged with illegally accessing confidential FBI information for a person described as Madame X, who turned out to be his girlfriend, Fiorentino. [Star]
• Oprah appears on the new cover of O Magazine with a pack of puppies, including her dog Sadie, who she adopted after the photo shoot. "Out of all the pups in that picture, Sadie was the one I felt an instant connection with." Eventually all the other puppies were adopted. Oprah adopted Sadie's brother too, but he died a few weeks later of the parvo virus. [People]
• Jessica Biel had to be filmed driving 1929 BMW roadster in her film Easy Virtue, but they didn't let her actually drive. "I don't drive stick well," she said. "They wouldn't let me do it! The guy who owned the car was like, 'Please don't mess up my baby.'" [Style.com]
• Ally Shapiro, the teenage daughter of the Real Housewives' Jill Zarin, did an email interview about what it's like to be on the show. She says, "My mom is 'exactly the same in her house as outside of it.' Have you read To Kill a Mockingbird? Atticus Finch, anyone? Well, this is the Jewish-momma version. She is loud, truthful, and loving, exactly as you would expect her. And even if I don't agree with her or find her annoying, she is definitely NOT a hypocrite, something she should be proud of." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kelly Bensimon says that even though she seemed obnoxious and slightly nuts on The Real Housewives of New York, that's not the real her. "I was so guarded, I came across as not being me," she said. "Everyone I know was like, ‘That's not you! That's the not the fun Kelly who's always on Kelly time!' I didn't know these women. I was treading in murky waters and I didn't know how to navigate... For next season, I want people to see the real Kelly." So far, "another season of New York is not locked for anybody yet," she explains, but "I would love to be a part of the brand." [People]
• "I'm happy to have people talk about all the craziness they want to talk about, whether it's things like every year we're getting divorced, or we're an open family or Will's gay, or I'm gay," says Jada Pinkett Smith. "You want people to talk about you, because once they stop talking about you, that's when you're really in trouble!" [E!]

Might as well post this, my prized possession, again.

Earlier: Marie Claire's "Price Is Bright" Spread Will Make You Squeal Like A Game Show Contestant

• A dude was arrested for trying to break into the Dancing With The Stars studio.

He's now got a restraining order against him because he was trying to meet Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson — but with two guns and duct tape in his car. Frightening. [Breitbart]

• The man stalking Shawn Johnson, Robert O'Ryan, says the gymnast was "speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP, and he will be with her not matter what." [NY Daily News]
• "Desperate" Britney Spears has been sending texts to ex Adnan Ghalib, according to a source. "She keeps sneaking messages to Adnan begging him to help her win back her freedom. She says she is lonely and misses being able to date the men she chooses. She feels trapped." [The Sun]
• One of the nurses fired by mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman says: This woman does not care for these kids, she's in this for the media, for the paparazzi." [Breitbart]
• "This woman does not care for these kids, that's my honest opinion," says nurse Linda West Conforti, founder of Angels In Waiting. [ABC News]
• Yes, Nadya Suleman was once a stripper. Or topless dancer. Move along. [MSNBC]
• Scarlett Johansson is the "muse" of Champagne brand Moet & Chandon, and you are not. [WWD]
• Also, people are talking about how thin ScarJo is now. [Defamer]
• Are Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz on the rocks? A source says: "He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home. It's just not working." Her rep says this is not true. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey wants a baby, so she has dropped $200K on a pink crib, a high chair and some other stuff. Her rep says it's not true. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jessica Simpson was spotted ordering a cooked gourmet meal in a restaurant for her dog." [The Star]
• Neil Patrick Harris will host the TVLand Awards, which sounds like fun: There will be tributes to Magnum PI, Knots Landing, M*A*S*H and, uh, Two And A Half Men. [Socialite Life]
• CSI star Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce from her hussband, actor (and SAG prez) Alan Rosenberg. They married in 1989 and have a son. [Breitbart, AP]
• Bish Plz Face Of The Day goes to Harlow Madden, resplendent in purple. [People]
• The Oscars, which have taken place in February the last couple of years, are moving back to March. [NY Mag]
• What is wrong with this sentence: The Pussycat Dolls will perform on the Kids Choice Awards, singing "Jai Ho." [Three Stooges movie. Directed by the Farrelly brothers. Starring Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Motherfucking Penn. [World Of Wonder, E!]
• Nicole Kidman's been cast in that Woody Allen film which Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Broling and Anthony Hopkins are already attached to. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Canadian model Noot Seear has been cast in sparkly vampire flick New Moon. This story suggests, "Let the Robert Pattinson and Noot romance rumors begin!" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lost's Ian Somerhalder has joined the cast of a new CW show, Vampire Diaries. [Variety]
• By the by, the Twilight soundtrack is burning up the charts; Robert Pattinson sings on it, you know. [Yahoo News via E!]
• A review of ABC's new show, In The Motherhood, which is based on webisodes, reads: "What may be funny for five minutes isn't necessarily funny for 30." [USA Today]
• Ugly Betty fans: Do you think Betty should end up with her boss? Eric Mabius, who plays bossman Daniel Meade, says no: "That would be the equivalent of us jumping the shark." [USA Today, EW]
• Courteney Cox has been shooting her new show, Cougar Town, and it seems her wardrobe consists of bathrobes. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a preview of what to expect of the new 9 To 5 musical — starring Alison Janney! Dolly Parton oversaw the casting and wrote the music. [NY Post]
• Whee! Bob Barker is coming out of retirement — for one day — to be on The Price Is Right. He'll be promoting his autobiography, Priceless Memories. I want to spin the wheel. [ET]
• Jeremy Piven's sushi case will go into arbitration on June 8. [EW]
• Click the link to see Padma Lakshmi eat a burger like she's having sex with it in an ad for Carl's Jr. [E!]
• Watchmen actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan just found out he's the father of a four-year-old son by an old girlfriend. Surprise! [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford is on the cover of Baby Couture, you know, the magazine that puts the coo in couture? [Just Jared]
• Who the hell cares if Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller were rooting against Denise Richards on Dancing With The Stars? [MSNBC]
• Here is a video of Pharrell Williams singing and dancing in a McDonald's in Paris because they wouldn't serve him; they weren't exactly open or something. [NY Daily News]
• Jenny McCarthy is on the cover of Shape magazine, and says "[Weight Watchers] taught me portion control and to be conscious of what I put into my mouth." That's what she said? Anyway, she's not gluten and dairy free, not that you wanted to know. [People]
• Merengue star Elvis Crespo is accused of masturbating on a flight from Houston to Miami. A woman says she saw him cover himself with a blanket, jerk off and then expose himself. Questioned at the airport, Crespo said: "I don't recall doing that." [AP]
• Brit headline of the day: "Simon Cowell Gets His Comeuppance As Prince Philip Calls Him A Sponger." [Daily Mail]
• Put this on your wish list: A box set of Hollywood movies shot before the 1934 Production Code. "Graphic stories of scandal, adultery, prostitution, drug use, murder and homosexuality." Woohoo! [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which mouthy actor had a waitress dump a scalding cup of coffee in his lap - right after he smacked her bottom?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Interesting characters are pretty rare if you really want to be the lead. That's the usual complaint of actresses my age, and they're not wrong. They depend on you being beautiful. Since I'm not cast for my physicality, I'm not that interested in those parts. I find that playing so many characters in so many films is a way to stay in the moment." — from a profile on fantastic, awesome actress Catherine Keener, who turns 50 this week. [Guardian]
• "Complex later replaced the pic with the Photoshopped version, causing all of this drama. But you know what, who cares! I'm proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn't mean I'm perfect." — Kim Kardashian on her Photoshop of Horrors. [Socialite Life]
• "I always say the younger girls have the abundance of work, but I get to play real women, not girls, who have a whole life behind them." — Virginia Madsen, who's in The Haunting In Connecticut. [LA Times]
• "Right now, I like the idea that things can just kind of pop up and if they feel right I can do them. Committing to my own sort of project, that's like, 'Okay, let me block out two years of my life and do it.' I was heavily fulfilled with the last one and I always have this thing with myself that if I can't sleep because I need to do it, then I'm gonna do it. But if I'm not losing sleep over it then…" — Justin Timberlake, who is not working on a new album. [The Star]
• "It's not black-and-white justice. It's heart-and-soul justice. That's the difference between her and a lot of the crime shows out there. These crimes are not huge. But they are offensive. And they're disrespectful. Some of them, she has to go to the law. But some of them are small, like 'Somebody took my dog!' Or 'I think my husband is with another woman.' And she pours out justice the way she sees fit." — Jill Scott on her role in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, which debuts Sunday on HBO. [USA Today]

• Sad face: Mickey Rourke's 18-year-old chihuahua, Loki, has died. Rourke called Loki "the love of his life." And famously thanked his all his dogs in his Golden Globes speech. RIP little dude! [E!, TMZ]

• Sarah Jessica Parker's been talking about the Sex And The City sequel. She wants the new movie to be a "massive romp." And she's worried about the consumerism: "How do we address these economic times in a franchise that has a lot to do with luxury and labels? You know, there is a lot that we have to think about because times are very different." Indeed. [UPI]
• Lindsay Lohan was seen having a fabulous time in New York while Sam Ronson was in San Diego, what does it mean??!?! [Page Six]
• The lone Asian dude in Miley Cyrus's "goofy" photo has been identified; his name is Chuck Willis, and he is a model/actor/photographer. Who hangs out with Hannah Montana. [ONTD]
• The Guardian's Hadley Freeman spends five minutes with "the surprisingly tall" Justin Timberlake and promptly falls "a little bit in love." [Guardian]
• Oscar producers want M.I.A. to be on the show so badly — even though she just gave birth — that they're willing to let her perform her track from Slumdog Millionaire from a "large bed" on stage. Or she could appear via hologram. The bed idea sounds kind of awesome, but only if there are dancing orderlies. [NY Mag, MSNBC Scoop]
• More Oscar gossip: Hugh Jackman is hosting, but he'll be joined on stage by Beyoncé, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens and Mamma Mia's Amanda Seyfried for a big song and dance number, directed by Moulin Rouge's Baz Luhrmann. If they do "Dancing Queen," it just might be the gayest thing on TV since Charles Nelson Riley. [Yahoo News via E!]
• John Mayer will be attending the Oscars, and says: "It's my first Oscars. And it's my first being an Oscar boyfriend. After that night I have a deal almost signed in blood that says I must go into the studio and finish this record. So after Oscar Sunday, Monday morning I'm invisible." [PopSugar]
• Bookies who deal with Oscar bets says Heath Ledger is "such an absolute certainty you've got to feel a bit sorry for the fellow nominees. They have no absolutely no chance whatsoever of winning." [Mirror]
• An L.A. Superior Court judge has ruled that Roman Polanski will have to come to the U.S. and face a judge before his 1977 child sex case can be dismissed. Of course, if Polanski arrives in the States, he faces immediate arrest, as he is a fugitive. [Variety]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, fresh off of her breakup from Milo Ventimiglia, 31, was seen flirting with Gerard Butler, 39. Can you blame her? He's hot! [MSNBC Scoop]
• Seth Rogen will appear on the cover of Playboy, only the 9th time a dude's been on the cover in 56 years. But will he be clothed? [Page Six]
• Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are engaged, by the by. [Page Six]
• Kanye West looks morose on the new cover of Details and inside says the kind of stuff you expect Kanyeezy to say. Like: "Put this in the magazine: There's nothing more to be said about music. I'm the fucking end-all, be-all of music." And! "People ask me a lot about my drive," he says. "I think it comes from, like, having a sexual addiction at a really young age. Look at the drive that people have to get sex-to dress like this and get a haircut and be in the club in the freezing cold at 3 a.m., the places they go to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic..." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Also, when Kanye was 12, he produced a video game: "My game was very sexual. The main character was, like, a giant penis. It was like Mario Brothers, but the ghosts were, like, vaginas. Mind you, I'm 12 years old, and this is stuff 30-year-olds are programming. You'd have to draw in and program every little step-it literally took me all night to do a step, 'cause the penis, y'know, had little feet and eyes." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Michael Phelps is so afraid of people snapping his picture, he's had the windows of his home tinted and he's been hiding out in strip clubs, where photographs are not allowed. No, really, that's the only reason. [Page Six]
• Has Kylie Minogue had cosmetic surgery? The latest edition of the UK's Grazia magazine asks on its cover: "What has Kylie done to her face?" A surgeon who does not treat her has the answer: "Kylie's brows look a little higher than usual, which suggests she's having regular Botox to lift them. One of Kylie's brows is slightly more arched and higher than the other, which is often a telltale sign." [News.com.au]
• Boo-hoo: Eva Longoria Parker is sad that Nicolette Sheridan is leaving Desperate Housewives. "I love her so much as a person, and I love the character of Edie Britt, that I can't imagine the show without her," Eva says. [Mirror]
• Here's a video of Benicio Del Toro talking about playing Che Guevara and doing some really good stuff with his expressive eyebrows. [Guardian]
• Kid Rock is making Kid Rock Beer, which is expected to create 394 new jobs in Michigan. Those without jobs will at least have something to drink? [Detroit Free Press]
• Ashton Kutcher is in negotiations to star in a flick called Traded, about a superstar NFL quarterback and a 12-year-old middle school geek who magically trade bodies. Sort of Freaky Friday Night Lights. [Variety]
• Bob Barker "relaxes in retirement with dog and bottle of tequila." He doesn't watch Price Is Right. [ABC News]
• Set your DVR; A&E has ordered 11 episodes of Hammertime, a show which tracks the life of MC Hammer and his family. Can't touch this? [Variety]
• Luther Campbell from 2 Live Crew was arrested for contempt of court last night; he owes $10,233.36 and he'd better pay up. [TMZ]
• Morrissey, who turns 50 in May, says of the chance that he'll still be in the music biz at age 55: "I think it's incredibly slim. For heaven's sake!" [Daily Express]
• Blind items! 1. Which movie producer is finding out bad habits die hard? Despite being married, he asked a gorgeous, dark-haired woman back to his hotel for a "late-night private audition" after a dinner at the Berlin Film Festival. As the actress accepted, look for her to appear in his upcoming pictures. 2. Which kooky fashion figure asked for illegal substances on her contract rider? She said in order for her to appear at a fashion show, she needs two bottles of Cristal and "cocaine - a lot of it." [Page Six]
• Blind item: "Which F-list celeb had an abortion six months ago? We hear she's still not sure who the father was." Wait, why do we care about this? [Gatecrasher]
• "God, I might pass out. Your heart pounds really hard, and just that moment…wow. My grandmother is coming. My mom and my grandmother. Three generations. " — Taraji P. Henson, on being a nominee at the Oscars. [Washington Post]
• "My mother, she was like, 'I don't know if Mama wants to come because she had a knee replacement surgery and she's been going to the doctor and it's a long evening.' I said: 'Mom, you know what? Why don't we just let Grandma make the decision? Let's call her and let her say no.' We called her on a three-way and I said, 'Hey, Grandma, we got an extra ticket for the Oscars, you wanna come?' 'I sure do, baby!' She did not hesitate, do you understand? Grandma is not going to miss it for the world, do you hear me? She didn't want to hear about how long it was going to be. She didn't want to hear about that, she'd moved on to what she was going to wear. She was like, 'Well, I have this outfit and these shoes.' I was like, 'Bring it, Grandma.'" — Taraji P. Henson. [WaPo]
• "It's just something for your eyes to look at. It's just a change from the norm, innit? The problem is, I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually. You know, a lot of museums keep the stuff, they rotate it, because people get sick of looking at it. They shift the art around, don't they? People go, 'I'm sick of that now.' They move it around the world, let someone else's eyes look at it." — Ricky Gervais, on art. [Guardian]
• "I really believe I'm on the very tail end of television as a big money-making business. I think there will always be a certain number of people who make a lot of money, like American Idol or NFL football, but I just think that in 10 years when people have good Internet connections, there are going to be a thousand channels. People will be making money, they just won't be making a lot of money. Even successful shows or programming will bring in small amounts of money." — Jimmy Kimmel. [Broadcasting & Cable]
• "Oh my God, I'm one of the greatest rappers in the world. I'll get on a track and completely ee-nihilate that track, I'll eat it and rip it in half. I wouldn't have to think of it. […] I have, like, nuclear power, like a superhero, like Cyclops when he puts his glasses on." — Kanye West. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "The next chapter of your life has begun. The toughest decisions you will ever have to make lie in front of you. You have shifted the cultural paradigm of America, but now you have to live up to the ideal that fostered the shift and ensure that the paradigm doesn't shift back. You must deliver." — LL Cool J, in an (open, unsolicited) letter to Barack Obama. [Mirror]
• "I am her biggest fan and I can't get enough of her. But wearing my fashion hat, I want to say to Meryl Streep, 'You need to accept responsibility for what you are wearing. I don't know that you do.' The message she's sending is, 'I'm too smart for this and it doesn't matter to me what I'm wearing.' I want to say to her that it should matter to you." — Tim Gunn. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Though the Lohans declared a truce less than a month ago, Michael Lohan wrote on his blog today that Samantha Ronson is to blame for Lindsay's weight loss, cutting, and floundering career.

• Michael claims Samantha manipulated Lindsay into leaving Ali in L.A. to accompany her on a trip to Boston and says, "I am asking everyone out their to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay ... see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life." [Perez Hilton]
• Still no word on whether Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have ended their relationship or are planning to get engaged. While several gossip outlets insist they have broken up, Star is sticking to their claim that Mayer is planning to propose on Jen's 40th birthday, and says they spent the night together at Jen's house on Monday. [Star]
• Mary Louise Parker and director Ian Rickson were feuding during rehearsals for the Broadway show Hedda Gabler, which may explain why one critic called it "one of the worst revivals I have ever, ever seen." Parker smashed a glass pitcher on the floor in anger during a performance, and Rickson flew back to England and didn't attend the opening night party. [NY Post]
• Warner Bros. plans to relaunch the Lara Croft franchise, with a completely new back story, new love interests and villians, and an actress that is not Angelina Jolie. Though there is still no writer or director for the film, the Nerds on the Internet have spoken, and they want Megan Fox to have the role. [Yahoo]
• Though there were rumors that David Bowie would revive his Ziggy Stardust character and perform his 1972 album in its entirety at an upcoming concert, Bowie says it's all "poppycock." [UPI]
• Debbie Matenopoulos's estranged husband is suing her for spousal support and claims that she pays for nothing while living in their multi-million dollar L.A. home, but she says it's a lie. "I am very proud to say, not only do I currently pay my own expenses, I also did so for the entire duration of our marriage," says Debbie. [People]
• Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie turned keyboardist Billy Powell died this morning in Jacksonville, Florida. [TMZ]
• There were some clips of Kelly Clarkson's new video for "My Life Would Suck Without You" online but they've been pulled. If you simply must see the new video ASAP, it's previewing on American Idol tonight. [Rolling Stone]
• A woman is claiming she is the love child of Jerry Lewis and a showgirl, and was concieved above New York's Copacabana. Expect to see more hilarious headlines with the phrase "Jerry's kid?" [UPI]
• Bon Jovi is being sued by a former sales manager for the arena football team he owns, the Philadelphia Soul. The man claims he never got paid after the league decided to cancel the 2009 season. [TMZ]
• Ben Affleck didn't immediately raise his hand when he and his He's Just Not That Into You costars were asked who in the group is romantic during an inane interview. But after some mild harassment he admitted, "I'm definitely romantic. I didn't raise my hand because I didn't want to be the guy who started talking about how romantic he was on TV." [People]
• Bob Barker offered to pay $1.5 million to relocate Billy the elephant from his questionable habitat at the L.A. Zoo and send him to an elephant sanctuary, but the zoo has rejected his offer, saying "Billy's home is at the Los Angeles Zoo, not a distant location that is both inaccessible and unaffordable for the working families and schoolchildren of Los Angeles. [L.A. Times]
• Pete Doherty says the secret to getting models like Kate Moss is "Clobber [British slang for clothes], of course. That and sexual magnetism." The drugs probably don't hurt either. [ONTD]
• Leighton Meester is on the cover of the March issue of Seventeen and says she likes bad boys [not unlike one Chuck Bass]. "I don't want to tame anybody. I want them to be dark and bad," she says. [People]
• In this interview Flight of the Concords stars Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie explain why the invasion of privacy that comes with being a celebrity is worth it for the free deserts, drinks, and shoes. [CNN]
• Kanye West and Mischa Barton sat together at the Elie Saab fashion shows and talked about the perils of constantly being photographed. Kanye said: “It’s hard to look sexy without looking angry.” [Fashion Week Daily]
• CBS has compiled a slideshow of 86 celebrities with right-wing leanings. The following people are Republicans: Shannen Doherty, Britney Spears, Rick Schroder, Dr. Phil, Nick Lachey, Susan Lucci, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Gloria Estefan, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, James Earl Jones, Adam Sandler, LL Cool J, 50 Cent, and many more! [CBS]

Lady, this is sacred and hallowed ground, where Johnny Olson and Rod Roddy invited people to "Come on down!" Get your feet off of the furniture!

OMG you guys. She is touching THE WHEEL. Have you ever seen people spin so hard that they fall down? I have always wanted to spin the wheel. I don't really want Drew Carey to be there, though. Sigh.

Okay, here's the best part about TPIR: Everyone is so freakin' psyched to be there. The only problem with this photograph is that there are not nearly enough black and/or old people. They are TPIR gold. Plus, we need waaaaaaay more homemade T-shirts, I mean, come on.

Bidding on grandfather clocks, pool tables, fine jewelry and ANEWCAR! is just the thing to kick start an awesome show. Did someone just bid one dollar? Someone has to bid one dollar. The show is not complete unless someone bids JUST ONE DOLLAR.

Cliffhanger is a classic TPIR game, what with the fantastic yodeling sound effects. But the best game has to be Plinko.
Plinko requires that you climb an extremely glamorous staircase and drop a chip down a pachinko-type board.
You might win $0, you might win $5,000. Isn't life unpredictable???

The SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN is basically the most exciting part of the program. Plus, I've absorbed it into my vocabulary, to use anytime anyone has a conflict with anyone else. For instance: "Oh, Billy? He totally had a Showcase Showdown with his boss. It was awesome."

Because I grew up in New York, I always wondered what would happen if I went on the show and won stuff I could not use in an apartment, like lawn furniture, a teak jacuzzi, or a boat. At least Manhattan is an island, and I could have little kid fantasies about docking a speedboat on the Hudson River. But seriously, what if you live in some landlocked place, and you've got to tow that boat home?

Thanks, Marie Claire, for tackling the big issues.

Oh, and I've got to brag a little! Check out my prized Price possession:

Earlier: Marie Claire's "Factory Girls" Shoot: An Assembly Line Of '90s-Era Recockulousness
Marie Claire's "Outlaw" Look: $13,000 Gown & Black Lipstick
Marie Claire's Vietnam Photo Shoot: Apocalypse Wow
Marie Claire's Oh-So-Realistic Trailer Park Photo Shoot
Marie Claire & The 75-Year-Old Bhutanese Model
'Marie Claire' Editors Went To Italy And All They Got Was This Awesome Photo Shoot

• Apparently the DEA's massive investigation into Heath Ledger's death is unprecedented. Is this case "special" because of Heath's fame? [TMZ]
• The case is now closed, with Mary-Kate Olsen off the hook. [TMZ, Reuters, USA Today, People]
• Morgan Freeman, 71, is still in the hospital after his car wreck a week ago, and, as has been previously reported, has announced he's divorcing his wife of 24 years. They've been separated since December and have no kids. The woman in the car accident was Demaris Meyer, 48, a "friend." [Page Six]
• George Clooney is on vacation with Cindy Crawford, her husband and kids. They're all on a boat in the Mediterranean and I'm not. [People]

• The body of a woman — who had been missing since attending Lil' Kim's birthday party on Sunday night — was found yesterday in a closet on the roof of the party location, a New York club called Spotlight Live. [TMZ]
• Nicole Kidman says baby Sunday "looks like Keith." Hopefully the kid doesn't have the frosted, flat-ironed hair, though. Or stubble. [People]
• Oh. Sunday's hair has a "reddish tinge." [News.com.au]
• Star mag reported that Shia LaBeouf is in danger having his pinky finger amputated; apparently it is a "completely fabricated story." [E!]
• Despite previous reports, Britney Spears will not, repeat, NOT, be playing a killer lesbian stripper in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!. Damn. [PopDirt]
• Some spin control re: Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: When they met he was already separated from his wife; his mother likes Sienna; he sees his kids but is not trying to get back with his wife. As for Sienna, a source says, "There's no way she would ever get involved with another married man after Jude Law." Sigh. [The Sun]
• A "spurned mistress" who recalls the day she realized her lover would never leave his wife says, "I know how Sienna feels." [Daily Mail]
• Neil Patrick Harris on Anderson Cooper: "He's dreamy. Just dreamy." Anderson Cooper: "I'll have to start watching Neil's show." Hee! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Beverly Johnson, the world's first black supermodel, is going on Tyra's talk show to discuss the modeling industry, race, age and weight. More black models in the spotlight! Please. [Page Six]
• Here's how you know it's a slow gossip day: Lily Allen yawned in front of her grandpa. And it's news. [The Sun]
• Jenna Jameson: Using lip collagen while pregnant. Not a good idea. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Martin Bashir, the dude who interviewed Michael Jackson and Princes Di, went to the Asian American Journalists Association convention last month. In his keynote speech Bashir said, "I'm happy to be in the midst of so many Asian babes. In fact, I'm happy that the podium covers me from the waist down." He was booed. [Rush & Molloy]
• Seth Rogen says Pineapple Express is not a pot movie. "I think this is just a movie about guys who smoke weed." [Rush & Molloy]
• Peter Berg was a passenger in a Cadillac back in 2006 when the car allegedly hit a golf cart. The driver of the golf cart was killed; Berg is now being sued. Berg is an actor-turned-director whom you may have seen in Alias, Chicago Hope or Smokin' Aces. [TMZ]
• Usher's mom is once again his manager. Lackluster album sales could be the reason he dumped famed manager Benny Medina. Then again, do people buy records anymore? [People]
• Kate Moss swapped lives for a day with her daughter's nanny, as a gift for the nanny's 60th birthday. The nanny had a champagne breakfast, was taken out on a yacht and "lavished with gifts." By the by, the nanny — Mary Davidson — is Sadie Frost's mom. [The Sun]
• Did Paris Hilton memorize her lines for that FunnyOrDie video? Some say cue cards were not used; a source says "She couldn’t recite her address without a Teleprompter." [MSNBC]
• John Mayer made an onstage joke about "dream cheating," in which you make out with someone who is not your girlfriend in your dreams. Jennifer Aniston: Not amused. [MSNBC]
• Word is it takes $10,000 a month to look as good as Jennifer Aniston does. [The Sun]
• Joss Stone headbutted her brother in church. A baptism turned into a brawl when Joss was 30 minutes late. Jesus! [Mirror]
• A judge has dismissed a woman's wrongful termination claims against Bob Barker, former host of Price Is Right. This could be the moment for a "Price is wrong, bitch" joke but probably not. [Reuters]
• In a survey of 1,000 Londoners, 48% said they're sick of hearing news about Amy Winehouse. It would be awesome to hear that she's pulled it together, though. [Perez Hilton]
• Lisa Marie, Tim Burton's ex-fiancée, was suing the director, claiming he offered her cash to walk away from their relationship. The California Court of Appeal has dismissed the case. [TMZ]
• Speaking of Tim Burton, Johnny Depp has been cast as the Mad Hatter in Burton's version of Alice In Wonderland. [ONTD]
• A California hip-hop label is suing Mary J. Blige and her producer for stealing tunes. No more drama! [NY Post]
• Betty White explains why she and the other Golden Girls didn't go to Estelle Getty's funeral: "We were with Estelle when it mattered. Paul, her wonderful caretaker, knew I wasn't going to her funeral. Funerals are about [journalism]… who was there and who wasn't? That's not about Estelle. We adored her. To tell you the truth, her passing is tough on us, but it's a blessing for her. She's been so ill for so long, she's in a better place now, wherever she is." [ET]
• "I'm such a work in progress at the moment, it's crazy, and life wants me on edge, I swear to you. But as long as I don't forget the past, I'm cool. One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but she's really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy, you're going to be just fine." — Robert Downey Jr. in Rolling Stone. [E!]

• Jennifer Lopez is with child! But you suspected that. Also, this means that In Touch was right about something, so we're scared of the implications. [Page Six]
  
• Rock of Love Winner Jes has a new boyfriend, and it's not Bret Michaels. Surprise, surprise. [Page Six]
  
• PETA has written a letter to Kevin Federline, asking him to try and get custody of Britney's dogs, "for the sale of the animals at risk." [TMZ]
  
• So the reason Britney lost custody of the kids was that she missed two court-ordered drug tests. Why did she miss 'em? She was asleep. [E!]
  
• Owen Wilson showed up to the premiere of Darjeeling Limited in L.A., which kind of makes us feel like everything is gonna be okay. [ET]

• Brad Pitt is on the cover of Italian GQ... with a gun drawn on his face. How awesome would it be if Angelina drew it while he was sleeping? [The.Life Files]
• The Spice Girls are returning to the stage, and they're all trying to get in shape. Because that Posh, you know, such a cow. [Daily Mail]
• Isaac Hanson, who was in the hospital for a blood clot, is expected to make a full and swift recovery. So you can just relax now. [People]
• Are the Muslims ready for this jelly? Beyoncé cancelled a concert in Malaysia due to the nation's ultra-strict dress code. But she will play in Jakarta, Indonesia — and will not be required to adhere to a dress code there. [YahooNews]
• Bob Barker is being sued by a former CBS employee. She alleges that she was "was exposed to sexual and mental harassment, abuse, and racial discrimination" in an "an atmosphere of terror." For some reason this will not stop us from absolutely loving Bob Barker. Spay and neuter! [CelebTV]
• Prince William and Kate Middleton: First pics together since breakup! [Telegraph]
• Years ago, Michelle Pfeiffer and Nicole Kidman each bet George Clooney $10,000 that he'd get married someday — the amount has now gone up to $100,000. Do you think he'll hold out? [Yahoo News]
• Wanna see a picture of Kanye West when he was a little kid? He's wearing a shiny shirt and a cowboy hat! [Concrete Loop]

• Lindsay Lohan signs up for a Promises outpatient program designed to enable her to "transition" back into her "community"...of cokehead pseudo-socialites. [People.com]
  
• France snubs Turkey in EU talks. We think this has to do with Istanbul beating out Paris in that Newsweek story on "fashion forward" cities. [BBC]
  
• The most interesting part of the whole "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case? That the word 'bong" was defined for the judges in the appeal. Oh c'mon, Scalia — don't pretend like you and Clarence Thomas don't toke up during recess. [CNN]
  
• In other legal news, it's now on the books that "customer satisfaction" and a missing pair of pants are not worth $54 million. [ABC News]
  
• At a campaign event last night, Hillary Clinton exited to KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See." Could Hillary be replacing her Canadian soft-rock campaign song with an English one? [NBC News]
  
• Kelly Clarkson was bulimic and Jordin Sparks has learned to love her figure: If you have body image issues and one helluva voice get ready — American Idol auditions start July 30 in a city near you. [USA Today]
  
• It's official: Rosie O'Donnell will not be successding Bob Barker. And we are sad. Because we really wanted to see her try to fit some anti-warmongering into her oral description of "a neeww RV!" [E!]
  
• 15 U.S. casualties identified since Friday. [DoD]

• Jennifer Aniston just says no to that more rotund Vince Vaughn and picks herself up a male model named Paul Sculfor (who we show you almost-nudie, to the left) to date instead. [People.com]
  
• A new development in stem cell research allows for cells to be removed without the destruction of human embryos. We assume Republicans will still find some reason to be against it. [ABC News]
  
• We don't know about you, but we sure won't be sleeping soundly tonight knowing that The Rubber Band Bandit's been freed! [ABC News]
  
• Our suspicions are confirmed: Only a man would think to put a woman in sequined hot pants. [ELLE.com]

• The Price Is Right's Bob Barker will announce the Showcase Showdown no more. [USA Today]
• But don't worry, Alec Trebek still digs doing Jeopardy. [Yahoo]
• Researchers in England have found new ways to identify the most common serious diseases through DNA analyses. Our hypochondriac hearts just did a little dance in our chests. [BBC]
• Now that's our kind of justice! A former judge was rigging divorce proceedings in exchange for boxes of Cubans. [CNN]
• This Iraqi gallery owner has a better peace strategy than any other we've heard proposed yet. [NYT]
• We really don't want to see Tony Blair naked, even if it is part of an art piece protesting the war in Iraq. [Yahoo]
• A day in the life of a house cat... through the eyes of a house cat. [Boing Boing]
• 11 U.S. casualties identified today. [DoD]