• Kate Moss says her motto is, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." [WWD]

• In December Harper's Bazaar, Victoria Beckham reveals that she is itching to dress Emma Watson. [People]
• Alexander Wang is now 100,000 Euros richer, thanks to the Swiss Textiles Award. [WWD]
• Bridget Moynahan is becoming a face of Garnier Nutritioniste skincare. [WWD]
• It took a while, but someone finally got around to identifying what Sasha and Malia wore in the official White House family portrait, and putting together a press release. (Turns out it was French children's label Dino e Lucia.) [WWD]
• Miss J, on fun times with André Leon Talley: "I was working for Lars Nilsson at Bill Blass and André Leon Talley came over to the studio with Elizabeth Taylor's epic movie Boom!, which Karl Lagerfeld did the costuming for. We got down on some fried chicken, corn bread and popcorn shrimp and were in fits of hysterics well into the night. We went from working with models who don't eat all day to watching all of us get down on some soul food!" Says Miss J, "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but fabulous gets you most places." [The Moment]
• Naomi Campbell held a Fashion For Relief runway show to raise money for maternal health in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania. (Previous stops have included Mumbai and New York, and have raised $1 million in aid for Hurricane Katrina and the Mumbai terrorist attacks.) Campbell walked the runway for the first time in the continent of Africa, and talked about the importance of diversity in fashion. "There's definitely space [for more black models] but has there been enough effort? It was getting better but it's slipped back this year," said the model. "The world is not made up of blonde hair and blue eyes. We need to share ourselves." [Reuters]
• Claudia Schiffer wouldn't rule out starting a clothing line. "I would consider it but it would have to be the right thing. They would need to be clothes that I would want to wear." [Telegraph]
• Liu Wen will be the first Asian model to walk in the Victoria's Secret fashion show. [Modelinia]
• Marc Jacobs' fiancé, Lorenzo Martone, and Ryan Brown, formerly of Elite, are starting a talent PR agency for models together called ARC NY. Lydia Hearst has signed on. [P6]
• Mango might ink a distribution deal with a U.S. department store, like JC Penney, Macy's, Bloomingdales or Saks, to help its retail expansion. [WWD]
• What other fashion house has ever inspired poetry upon its demise?
  "Luella, we will miss
  The frills
  The spills
  But know this

  Your work will live on
  In a sample sale shirt
  I once purchased
  Cheap as chips." [Guardian]

• As one exits, another enters: Biba is being revived. Again. [Catwalk Queen]
• Jimmy Choo has opened a Chinese restaurant in London. [Elle UK]
• For $8,500, you could own a sofa in the shape of the Chanel logo. [FWD]
• Bamboo fabric, though made from a plant that can be grown without pesticides and fertilizers, is processed with toxic solvents, just like rayon and viscose are made from wood. Eco-friendly it is not. [WSJ]
• Nordstrom's revenues for the third quarter jumped 17% on last year's results, but the company missed its earnings forecast by one cent, which sent the share price tumbling. [TS]
• Abercrombie & Fitch's quarterly profit fell to $38.8 million, from $63.9 million a year ago. [Reuters]
• Sales of department store fragrances fell by 11% on last year during the first three quarters, to $1.38 billion. [WWD]
• That hasn't stopped Gwen Stefani and her perfume partners, Coty, from putting out five new Harajuku Lovers fragrances. [WWD]

• "Designer" Anand Jon has been sentenced to 59 years in prison for multiple rapes. [Times of India]
• Seems Naomi Campbell would, in fact, rather wear fur than go naked: the one-time PETA campaigner models furs for Dennis Basso. [Daily Mail]

• The judge who sentenced Anand Jon declares that the designer, who apparently lured dozens of young girls with promises of photo shoots and exposure, "shows no remorse." Said one accuser: "I was 14. You took my adolescence, my trust, my dream and completely manipulated them for your sexual desires...It sickens me that a grown man can do such a thing to a girl, a girl who was naive and had the belief that all people were good. And you took that to your advantage." [<MSNBC]
• Al Roker is starting a clothing line. Don't worry: it's rain gear! [WWD]
• The long-awaited Jimmy Choo-H&M collab images have leaked, and...well. Barbarella will be pleased. [Racked]
• The WTO has weighed in on the US-Brazil cotton dispute, saying Brazil can "target U.S. goods and services for punitive sanctions approaching $295 million." [WWD]
• In the new "Celebration" video, Madonna sports Balmain. This is all. [Telegraph]
• Rodarte, the movie? The Sisters Mulleavy have signed with William Morris Endeavor, to "advise the label on opportunities in publishing and film and identify potential strategic partnerships and sponsorships." We're seeing a lot of intricate deconstruction. [WWD]
• And...blind item! "Courtney Love was so enamored with which design team that she wrote them an "inspiration check" for $25,000 within a few minutes of meeting them?" [Fashionista]
• Speaking of acting (?) here's Daisy Lowe: "
  I just did a cool film for the band Noah and the Whale. It's really f—-ing great, excuse my language. It's for their new album, and I play the main love interest who breaks the guy's heart. It was my first taste of acting, and I really did enjoy it. I don't know if I'll ever just act though; honestly, I think I'll always do a lot of things because I'd get bored otherwise." [W]
• Coco Rocha's contribution to Fashion's Night Out: jigging. [Sassybella]
• Levi's pays tribute to Ted Kennedy, with an ad bearing a quote from the senator and the words "Let us continue his legacy of faith in the people and faith in the work that has yet to be done." [AdRants]
• Speaking of good works: Venus Williams will be vedning a "green" tee at the US Open designed to combine her passions of "tennis, fashion and the environment." Some profits go to Unisphere Inc., which maintains the area surrounding Arthur Ashe. [WWD]
• PayLess is expanding to Russia. Unclear if this is a victory for the West, or if, somewhere, Lenin is laughing. [WSJ]
• Will the new L.L.Bean Signature line be the revolution the staid retailer hopes? Although designer Alex Carleton has an impressive resume, the company's description of the new line - "You can dress it up and you can dress it down. It will be for men and women: apparel, footwear, some accessories, a couple of outerwear pieces" - is so incredibly vague that it's impossible to know much. [NPR]
• After trying that non-traditional venues thing everyone did at the last Fashion Week, Vera Wang decided she wanted back into the tents. But they were all full! Oh noes! [WWD]
• And speaking of NYFW, Narciso Rodriguez is getting this year's "Mercedes-Benz Presents" honor. [WWD]
• And noted journalist Peaches Geldof will be covering things for GMTV, so. [The Sun]
• Also Whitney Port - who we thought was an "intern" - will be launching her collection, "Whitney Eve," at the tents. Maybe that's why Vera couldn't get in? [New York]
• If you spend upwards of $150 on accessories at SoCal Bloomies, you can - maybe - get into this private screening of The September Issue, where one assumes you'll be thoughtfully prevented from buying popcorn like the masses. [BrandFreak]
• Liz Smith pronounces the documentary "a work of modern art." Salt, anyone? [Variety]
• The movie had the 5th best opening of any documentary, ever. [IndieWire]
• Justin Timberlake on his fashion icons: "Early Elvis — not the Elvis of onesies, but with the pomaded hair and big collar, the rockabilly stuff. Also, Sinatra. Johnny Cash. My stepfather was one of my style icons growing up. He was a banker, and I used to love to watch the routine he would go through. He would lay out his suit and the power tie he wanted to wear the night before. I used to watch him tie his own ties in the morning before going to school. When you go through the ritual of buttoning a collar, tying a tie, spraying on a scent, and picking out the right socks — you walk out a little more confident." Talk about bringing sexy back. [Out.com]
• Wednesday sees the kick-off of Lara Stone's September curation of new online avant-boutique Not Just a Label. Looks like it'll be a nice virtual (window) shop! [Fashionista]
• Whoa. Barneys, which has been losing dosh of late, is trying to break with the Dubai-based company that bought it in 2007, via bankruptcy Filing or debt restructure. Brace yourselves. [NYT]
• More on Daniel Vosovic's capsule collection. Trust: even if you think Korto was robbed, this is good stuff. [Fabsugar]
• LVMH continues its crackdown on counterfeiters, winning $32.4 million from a web vendor. [FT]
• The Sartorialist, Scott Schuman, has made waves by posting the photo of a homeless man. Says the blogger, "I don't usually shoot homeless people. I don't find it romantic or appealing like a lot of street photographers, and if you asked homeless people they are probably not to happy about their situation either."But! "In my quick shot I had noticed his pale blue boots, what I hadn't noticed at first were the matching blue socks, blue trimmed gloves, and blue framed glasses. This shot isn't about fashion-but about someone who, while down on his luck, hasn't lost his need to communicate and express himself through style." What say you? [BlackBook]

• We never thought of Lady Gaga's style as something one should actually seek to take credit for, but Roisin Murphy apparently feels differently. [Refinery29]

• Katie Holmes' clothing line, which she designs with her stylist, Jeannie Yang, is ready to launch for fall at Maxfield in Los Angeles. [WWD]
• Mariah Carey's latest scent, Forever, comes out this September. "I am in a wonderful place right now," says the singer, "surrounded by all the things I love, and Forever captures this moment in time." So Forever smells like marriage to a younger man, and something pink? [WWD]
• Also this September, Nanette Lepore is launching her new fragrance, Nanette by Nanette. [WWD]
• Political Science Ph.D. and former Communist Party member Miuccia Prada didn't vote in the last Italian elections, much to her family's chagrin. "My son criticized me. ‘You're not coming? You're not going to vote?' So I have to justify. Of course, because I always taught them principles and the idea of [the importance of] politics, if they see in myself a false step, they become...I know it was wrong. I should have gone." Speaking of false steps, Prada also said, of the many model tumbles that marred her Spring/Summer '09 show, which featured her impossible-to-walk-in shoes, "I liked it. It made the show more interesting." A hypocrite with a missing compassion chip? Our Miuccia Prada crush is rapidly dissipating. [W]
• Crocs apparently thinks that by selling what amounts to a rubber clog for your cell phone, it can save its business. Interesting. [InventorSpot]
• For some reason, somebody put Andy Warhol screenprints of dollar signs on a unisex perfume. People will license anything that isn't nailed down in this world. [WWD]
• Whitney Port made an awful, frosted pink lipstick that looks like what your slutty cousin wore in 1983. Even the fact that $2 from the sale price goes to charity isn't enough to stop us hating. [People]
  
• Covergirl is seeking more brand prestige. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik loves boots. Loves them. And skirts, which he'd wear if he were a woman. "Every year I have lots of boots in my collection. This year I have chosen something a little extreme — a paper-flat sole with lots of big buckles. I love this look – it makes me think of old films, of Margaret Lockwood, or crinolines. I love the look of a very long skirt with these paper-flat boots. Women in winter must wear very high or very flat boots, it's so chic — forget your pumps. Long skirts are a must in women's wardrobes, although you don't see many of them these days. It's what I would wear, though. Every year I have done over-the-knee boots. One year they were so high you could tie them to your belt — Elle Macpherson in that was so sexy." [Independent]
• Bloomingdale's is spending $55 million on a two-month renovation of its 60,000 sq. foot main sales floor. [WWD]
• Stella McCartney is opening a pop-up store in the Hamptons. All the better that we never see what we could never afford. [WWD]
• Oh, look. Gap gave certain fashion bloggers free jeans. And then certain fashion bloggers wrote about how awesome Gap's jeans are. Odd coincidence! We're sure the failure to disclose the freebie was simply an oversight. [Fashionista]
• Although retail spending was down 12.7% during the back-to-school period, compared with last year, spending on denim was relatively well-performing. Even sales-hemorrhaging Abercrombie & Fitch has seen its denim remain popular. [TS]
• Swatch reported a 28% drop in profits for the first half of this year, to 301 million Swiss Francs. Sales fell 15.3% on last year. [WSJ]
• Elizabeth Arden's sales for the last quarter, like pretty much everybody else's, slipped. The company lost $3.6 million. [WWD]
• JC Penney's quarterly results were not as bad as analysts had expected. The company lost $1 million, compared with earning a profit of $117 million for the same period last year. [NYTimes]
• The Hemline Index never made any sense to begin with. The Lipstick Bellwether sounded good, but wasn't true. The Heel Height Indicator came into vogue briefly, like platform shoes (which by the way weren't invented during the Great Depression). Of all the hokey, jokey faux-economic indicators — most of which, you might notice, are female-linked, probably because of undying cultural stereotypes about women and shopping — the so-called Men's Underwear Index is obviously our favorite. It just will not die! [PhilInquirer]

• Bono's wife Ali Hewson is suing Stella McCartney over the title of her unreleased perfume, "Nude." Hewson, who also has a sustainable fashion brand, oversees Nude Skincare, and feels that McCartney's brand is too close to her own. [Daily Mail]

• More than 100 garment workers protested two New York apparel companies in support of six workers who allege they are owed over $500,000 in back pay, and that they were wrongfully fired. Union organizer Jei Fong said, "Long Island City is a sweatshop zone; these conditions are rampant and have only gotten worse through the years. Today we really want to make a stand. People need to demand better conditions; it's the only way for the garment industry to improve." The six workers allege that they were paid minimum wage, but that their employers deducted 5% from their pay, and failed to pay any overtime despite the fact that they often worked 100 hour weeks. All the workers were fired shortly after complaining about the pay and conditions to the National Labor Relations Board. [Crain's]
• Harper's Bazaar decided to rush out a Michael Jackson-themed fashion shoot in time for the current issue — and the model they picked was Agyness Deyn? There is also a monkey. Who's bad, indeed. [ONTD]
• It took Nicole Richie less than half of the actual human gestational period to conceive of and birth her maternity wear line for A Pea In The Pod. [WWD]
• Pierre Cardin owns the Marquis de Sade's castle. [NYTimes]
• We doubt that anyone is copying P.C. from NYC Prep's style. A white t-shirt, scarf and a cardigan is something he has a copyright on? Give us a fucking break, Paper magazine. [Stylelist]
• Jason Wu has announced the location of his Spring 2010 show — the opulent St. Regis hotel. [WWD]
• Why is it that every time one or two designers cycle through to something different than previous prevailing tastes — long skirts after a few seasons of minis, or in this case, flats after a few seasons of skyscraper 7" heels — fashion writers have to act as though it's tabula rasa time and WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN? The heel is not "dead" just because Christopher Kane now things "boyish" flats are nice. Most women will continue wearing heels sometimes, and flats other times, depending on their mood, where they are going, and the rest of their outfit. [ToL]
• Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently smitten with model Anne Vyalitsyna. Meanwhile, recent ex Bar Refaeli has been spotted with polo player Ricardo Mansur, who happens to be an ex of Gisele Bundchen, who also dated Leo. And the circle is complete. [Sun]
• Because of a write-in campaign, Men's Wearhouse is canceling its advertising on the Glenn Beck program. [MediaMatters]
• Bloomingdale's is launching a major ad campaign highlighting its links to classic films. [NYTimes]
• Last month, Kelly Bensimon told the W magazine editors' blog, of her jewelry line, "I love Navajo and I love the idea of taking Pocahontas out of the kayak and putting her into the disco. Everyone knows that she's had enough in her little canoe and now she's out and having fun in the disco." Yesterday, Kelly Bensimon told StyleList "exclusively," of her jewelry line, "The bad thing about Pocahontas is that she's, like, in the kayaks. So I took her out of the kayak and into the disco so she could have a little fun." Conclusions: Nobody reads anymore, and the Internet will eventually eat itself. And Kelly Bensimon still does not apparently realize that Pocahontas lived her entire life without ever meeting any Navajo people, because they lived thousands upon thousands of miles apart. [StyleList]
• Molly Sims now has a jewelry line. (At this point, who doesn't?) [WWD]
• Point the first: We have not heard anything of Nia Long since her immortal turn as Lisa on Fresh Prince, so her inclusion in PETA's ancient "Rather Go Naked" campaign proves the animal rights organization is scraping the very bottom of the barrel. Point the second: We get that Nia Long doesn't much care for the fur, but she seems to have no problem with gasp-inducingly unrealistic media images of women. The Photoshop job on her ad is eye-popping. Point the third: This quote speaks for itself: "There's no difference, in my opinion, [between fur and] slavery or the Holocaust." [DListed]
• Twiggy is releasing an album of pop songs on September 14. [Modelinia]
• Amber Rose posed for a series of racy photos in Complex magazine. She also told the mag: "I always looked up to Slash from Guns N' Roses. I had every single poster of Slash in my room. It was crazy because I grew up in an all-black neighborhood and everybody I went to school with was black. I was the only biracial looking girl in my school, and Slash was biracial too, he was just a fucking rock star. I always wanted to play the guitar. I've tried, but other things came up." [ONTD]
• In yet another high-yield jewelry heist, two armed robbers hit up the Graff store on New Bond St. in London for $65 million worth of baubles. Forty-three items were stolen, and while the suited robbers fired two shots and briefly took a Graff worker hostage, nobody was injured. [NYTimes]
• For reasons unknown, Maybelline has made a calendar. [Fashionista]
• The "moderately priced" designer "bridge" category — home of labels like Tory Burch, Elie Tahari, and Eileen Fisher — is losing one of its biggest players, Ellen Tracy. Starting next spring, the brand is down-shifting to concentrate on lower-priced sportswear, where it'll roll with labels like Lauren by Ralph Lauren and Michael by Michael Kors. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, members-only online sample sale site Gilt today is launching a website where it will host sales of lower-priced lines, called Gilt Fuse. In running Gilt, chief executive Susan Lyne says, "What we discovered was that, one, even though we discount significantly on the brands we carry on Gilt [up to 70 percent], it's still expensive for [our customers]. A $200 or $150 dress is still a big purchase for them." So Gilt Fuse will exert similar discounts on merchandise that was a little cheaper to begin with. Revolutionary concept, really. [NYObs]
• Escada's proposed fund-raising bond exchange has failed because fewer than 80 percent of investors approved it within the given time frame. The company plans to file for bankruptcy this week. [WWD]
• Pakistan's textile industry is suffering because of the twin ills of political instability — even consistent electrical power is not assured — and the global credit crunch. An estimated 200,000 people have lost their jobs in the textiles sector during the past year. [Reuters]
• After cutting $70 million worth of costs from its balance sheet in the first quarter, Liz Claiborne's losses still increased during the second quarter of this year — so a second, $100 million, cost-cutting plan is to be put in place. [WSJ]
• Although the sale of bankrupt men's clothier Hartmarx to Emerisque Brands and SKNL North America has managed to save 2,400 jobs that otherwise might have been lost, three plants which were not part of the sale, finalized last week, are shuttered. About 525 employees at factories in Rock Island, Illinois, Anniston, Alabama, and Hamilton, Ontario have lost their jobs. Hartmarx owns the brands Hart Shaffner Marx and Hickey Freeman. [WWD]

• House of Style is coming back on MTV! Israeli model Bar Refaeli or L.A.'s own Chanel Iman are rumored to be in the running to fill Cindy Crawford's old hosting slot. [Page Six]

• Isaac Mizrahi's first collection for Liz Claiborne just went online, in an annoying Flash animation you have to flick through with your mouse. No pricing info is included, but the line will be in stores and online next month. [Liz Claiborne]
• That Brooks Brothers Black Fleece store on Bleecker St. that's been "opening in Fall 08" for freaking ever is finally throwing wide its doors today. [WWD]
• Stella McCartney opened a new boutique in Paris, her first in that city. Old friends like Marianne Faithful and Catherine Deneuve duly turned up. On staying slim with Madonna's trainer, McCartney said, "I've had a few sessions with her, but she's always off on tour with Madonna, so now I just go round to Gwyneth's and we dance about together." Fun. [Style.com]
• If you can't share a personal trainer with Madge, you can see an exhibition of her stage costumes. "Simply Madonna, Materials of the Girl" opens in London on February 21. [Independent]
• Pierre Bergé, Yves Saint Laurent's business and romantic partner of 50 years, is talking to the media for the first time about the designer's struggles with depression. A shy, nervous young man, Saint Laurent was conscripted into France's war with Algeria in 1960, where he was brutalized. Upon his return to France, he was committed and given shock treatments and high doses of drugs. Says Bergé: "Sadly, Yves was not built for joy. He was an unhappy person who didn’t have a taste for life. Occasionally, he was happy, but life was difficult for him. The depression ran deep." On his aesthetic, Bergé notes: "Saint Laurent detested fashion. Style is what he liked...Chanel may have given women liberty but Saint Laurent gave them power." [Telegraph]
• Interesting: Bloomingdale's is holding an open call for new designers. That's gotta be better than Project Runway! [WWD]
• Dazed and Confused shot a black-lit video to celebrate DKNY's 20th anniversary. It maybe looks a little like Liquid Sky. [Fashionista]
• For the DKNY Jeans spring campaign, Sartorialist Scott Schuman shot British model Daisy Lowe. [The Sun]
• Today's bankruptcy: Unthinkable, Inc., owner of the label Claude Brown. Owing between $1 and $100 million, with between $100,000 and $1 million on its books, Unthinkable filed for Chapter 11 protection from 50 creditors. [Crain's]
• Imagine an event that would bring together Ivanka Trump, Philip Lim, Tory Burch, and Barbara Hulanicki (who founded the Biba boutique in London where Anna Wintour got her first fashion job), and you have the Fashion Group International's Rising Star awards. Lim gushes all over Hulanicki, who gushes all over Lim, and meanwhile none of the MCs can pronounce "Burch" or "Ivanka." Must've been a hell of a luncheon. [Observer]
• McQ Alexander McQueen for Target's campaign will be modeled by a creepy blonde doll with eyes that change color. What, they couldn't get a Russian to put in contacts? [Fashionista]
• Karl Lagerfeld, compelling, chilly fashion mastermind, is the subject of an excellent Rodolphe Marconi documentary called Lagerfeld Confidential. We get a peek at the Kaiser's home, Nietzchean morality, and lecherous habits with male models. Also, I'm pretty sure I remember at one point he says, "People who live alone and spend a long time on the telephone are romantic freelancers." It screens February 9 on Sundance and you should watch it. [Fashion Week Daily]
• If you give supermodel Angela Lindvall directions on a shoot like "Crawl around like an animal! Rrowr!", she will raise one eyebrow at your dumb concept and do something better instead. [The Cut]
• Jean Paul Gaultier model Ines de la Fressange: 51, gorgeous, and dubious about black nail polish. "I like the fact that [Gaultier] didn't try to disguise me or make fun of me in some way, by making me wear black nail polish like the other models." How does she stay in shape? "Winston Churchill always said the best exercise is no exercise so let me put it this way; I do as much exercise as Churchill! And I never do Botox or plastic surgery either." She sounds like a riot in this interview. [Time]
• Then, de la Fressange found time to go to the Elysée Palace and congratulate Sonia Rykiel and Jean-Louis Scherrer at the formal ceremony where President Sarkozy made each of them commanders of the Legion of Honor. [WWD]
• Ever wanted to learn how to make shoes? Jimmy Choo wants to teach you. [Telegraph]
• Natascha McElhone, of Californication fame, will be the new face of Neutrogena. [WWD]
• There WILL be Steven Allan for Uniqlo! [WWD]
• Plan for a Gisele-heavy future. The Brazilian beauty has bagged spring campaigns for, at last count: Versace, Dior, True Religion denim, and Rampage. Oh, and she'll totally be the North American face of Max Factor for years to come. Resistance is futile! Clearly being a safe bet as one of the few models the proverbial man on the street could immediately recognize has its ups in an economic climate like this. [WWD]

• Wanna see Posh's designs, complete with lampshades and elephant-trunk headpieces? Check out the new commercial for her fashion line. [Fashionista]
• "The video sees various models taking inspiration from Posh’s own ads for Marc Jacobs last season by hiding themselves all over a large mansion – behind drawers, in carrier bags, hanging behind doors, turning themselves into lamp shades and transforming themselves into an elephant." [Sassybella]
• Says Posh: “Being in the Spice Girls, fashion-wise probably didn't open any doors. If anything it shut doors and I've had to bang them down.” [Times Online]
• A New York bridal shop is knocking off the Vivienne Westwood wedding gown in which Carrie Bradshaw was jilted. [New York Post]

• Notify jeans classifies butts into three categories. [Guanabee]
• Apparently Katie Holmes is surrounded by a whole gaggle of other moddles for her ballyhooed Miu Miu campaign. [New York]
• Uniqlo beats the odds, is up 32%. [WWD]
• This, we like: Kate Moss is teaming up with Liberty to use their classic floral prints in her next Top Shop collection. [WWD]
• "Liberty are already working with Topshop on a lingerie collaboration, which launched in stores yesterday, though exactly how Moss will use the London store's iconic prints is still under wraps." [ElleUK]
• Michelle Obama's Vogue cover's not a sure thing. Neither, apparently is Anna Wintour's job! [New York]
• Meanwhile, Michelle continues to boost young designers: the latest beneficiary is Jason Wu. [WSJ]
• Oh noes! J. Crew and Bloomies knocked out on a prime shopping day by website malfunctions. [Crains]
• So why is the entire payroll of NBC in this batch of holiday Gap ads? [Jossip]
• Luxury luggage gets extra-ridiculous to woo reluctant jet-setters. [IHT]
• Zara's founder is funding alternative energy solutions in Spain. [Business Week]
• Pre-fall collection peeks for Versace, DKNY, Alexander Wang, Armani, Missoni! [WWD]
• Supermodel Miranda Kerr has been replaced as the face of Australia's oldest department store. [AdAge]
• The “2009 Shop with a Conscience Consumer Guide" is a cheat-sheet to apparel made under ethical conditions. [WWD]
• Helena Christensen's line for Pilgrim jewelry is "typically, ethnically-inspired and feminine, in both delicate orchid-pastels and strong, spicy colours, priced between £10 and £100." [Telegraph]
• Victoria's Secret tries to go higher-end with a new flagship, "a level of elegance that casts the flirty and frilly lingerie and romantic beauty products in a softer, luxurious light." [WWD]

The party was on the fourth floor, but there was a backup and they only let up ten people at a time. This is the second floor.
This is pretty much all there was to eat: petits ecoliers, the biscuits with chocolate schoolboys on them. There were also some cinnamon-dusted cubes of congealed, deep-fried macaroni and cheese, but these disappeared too quickly to photograph.
A Moon Warrior! The photographs were displayed around the floor. They were all shot in moonlight.
The venue: Juniors.
I don't do well in big crowds.
With Real Housewife of New York City Alex McCord. She is the one from Brooklyn. I really had to pee by this time and my big bags were really heavy! Sorry to whine.
Nigel Barker was really nice, even though it took us two tries to get the shot and I said something strange about 'burdening him further.' It took me over an hour to work up the nerve to ask for the pic. Oh, and wanna look even more unphotogenic? Stand next to an insanely handsome former model.

Earlier: Ruby Slipper Party: Celebrities, Booze & Shoes, Oh My
I Think I Hate Fashion Week

• The Man is cashing in on National Underwear Day, this ridiculous thing they do in Times Square every year with people running around in undies. This year, those wags will be competing with the pros: "Diesel, Natori, Nautica, Tommy Hilfiger and 2Xist underwear brands will have hotties strutting in their skivvies in a runway show at Espace on Aug. 5. "Lydia Hearst [Who models for Myla - ed] be 10 runway shows."" [Page Six]
• Speaking of unmentionables, Sadie Frost (aka Jude's ex)'s skivvies co, Frost-French, has gone bust to the tune of owing a ton of money. Sources say the actress is devastated. [Mirror]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is teaming up with Saks Fifth Avenue to front its Key to the Cure campaign, a women's cancer initiative. Mrs. Martin will appear in promos and, presumably, sport the tee that Karl Lagerfeld designed for the occasion. [UPI]
• Also in celeb endorsements, apparently Solange Knowles is the new face of Armani Jeans. Quoth Girogio, “Armani Jeans expresses my vision of a young, independent, casual lifestyle with a strong and cool, fashion sensibility. Solange epitomises this style perfectly and brings to it that swing so evident in her new single, I Decided." [Sassybella]

• Diane Von Furstenberg was unanimously reelected head of the Council of Fashion Designers of America. In the past year the CFDA has been active in promoting awareness of health issues in the industry. [WWD]
• Molly Ringwald: "I never thought of myself as an icon...my style was from necessity; my parents kept me on on allowance." [Star Tribune]
• Agyness Deyn is living the American dream, with an apt. in hipster-central Williamsburg, Brooklyn and a brand-new Yank PA. "The girl is responsible for keeping track of Agyness' schedule, travel plans, and general well being, which sounds like the easiest job in the world, since while it's true she's one of the busiest working models right now, she's also one of the nicest and most easygoing that we've ever met." [Fashionista]
• An enormous pair of Queen Victoria's bloomers, dating from the 1890s, just sold at auction for nine grand. Auctioneer Charles Hanson described the 50-inch knickers as belonging to '"a very big lady of quite small stature with a very wide girth." She was said to be 5 feet (1.52 meters) tall.' [AP]
• That woven dress that so wowed Natalie Portman on the second episode of Project Runway? Already sold out on Bluefly. Suede, obviously, released a statement. “I was so excited about this challenge and really wanted to win. Selling my dress on Bluefly is the opportunity of a lifetime. I knew I had to pull out all of the stops to impress this client and especially celebrity judge Natalie Portman, and Suede, "ROCKED IT!" And, now to see the customers responding to my "winning look" like this what a thrill. It is a million times better than immunity! Suede LOVES that!!!" [NY Mag]
• Polo takes Rugby online. [WWD]
• The new crop of Gap ads — featuring the daughter of French Vogue editirice Carine Roitfeld, sont arives! [Fashionista]
• David "Mulder" Duchovny is, for some reason, part of sportswear company Johnston and Murphy's push to be more relevant. "The ads show Duchovny, with a pensive look on his face, wearing Johnston & Murphy sportswear and shoes and, in some creative, accompanied by accessories such as a briefcase and other leather goods. Text reads: "Johnston, Murphy & Duchovny."" [BrandWeek]
• Defying the market, Avon profits jump. [New York Times]
• Bloomingdales to open SpaceNK boutiques within stores. [WWD]
• DKNY collabs with Chandon on sparkling wine. [VogueUK]
• Kinda thought it was still summer, but fashion says No! How to wear 'transitional' clothes. [ElleUK]

• On Saturday night, John Galliano, the keynote speaker at Savannah College of Art and Design, called in sick, disappointing the hundreds of students who were probably already sort of disappointed by having to go to fashion school in Georgia for 4 years.
  [WWD, 2nd article]
• Heart bags, hot pants, and high heels with guns highlighted the Karl Lagerfeld cruise collection at The Raleigh Hotel in Miami Beach. More Scarface than Golden Girls.[WWD, 1st item]
• Jerry Hall is set to auction off the wedding dress she wore when she married Mick Jagger. Who will be the lucky (?) bidder? [UPI]
• This just in: Agyness Deyn doesn't drink during working hours, flies first class, gets knackered after a photo shoot! Now I've heard everything. [The Independent]
• Watch every woman in New York City go wild as Bloomingdale's hosts a Sex And The City lingerie party. It's a seven-day marathon with a sweepstakes prize that includes free tickets to the premiere, fingernail scratches all over your face, and your hair extensions being ripped from your skull. Good times! [WWD]

• Spending money on fake handbags is cheap, both financially and morally. Don’t support child labor and tacky fashion statements! [Reuters]
• Gisele Bundchen is getting sued. A carpenter fell in her apartment. It's not as exciting as it sounds. [United Press International]
• Australian magazine Russh: Celebrating the human form or shilling kiddie porn? [news.com.au]
• "Matthew didn't want to be bare-chested on billboards in America," says a spokesperson for Matthew McConaughey, new face of Dolce & Gabbana. Ha ha ha, really? [Daily Mail]
• Marshall’s ups the ante on its shoe department. Um, yes please! Cheap shoes never hurt anyone's feelings. [LA Times]
• Bob Mackie enables Cher to go through 17 costume changes in Vegas. Delicious! Call me a queen, but Cher without Bob Mackie is like Paris Hilton without a bedazzled dog in her arms. [LA Times]
• Is the baby doll dress the new burka? H&M opens a female-only store in Saudi Arabia. This is a good thing, right? [Vogue UK]
• Levi’s viral video blows up unexpectedly and everyone gets really excited about it. [Brandweek]
• "One of the absurdities of modern politics is this obsession with looks or second-guessing how you should look." — Nicole Farhi speaks about being a rebel girl. [Times of London]
• With the return of Indiana Jones, safari clothes get ready to become cool again. And expensive. And also, redundant. Didn't this trend happen already? [Financial Times]
• Women are so smart. Anja Mullins designs clothing for those who've had a mastectomy. Watch major designers take her lead and pretty soon, getting a mastectomy will be, the coolest thing ever. [Inventor Spot]
• Leona Hemsley's designer clothing was auctioned off on Sunday. Highest bid only went for $12,000. Poor thing. [Reuters]
• Agyness Deyn, once Burberry's darling, gets dropped from the label because, well, they're sick of her face. [Metro]
• "I reckon it's because she knows that when she smiles, she looks like a chipmunk. Anyway, grinning isn't glamorous." — author Germaine Greer on Posh Spice, and her admirable ability to look good. [The Gaurdian]
• Liz Jones talks to Sex In The City stylist, Patricia Field, who has an uncanny knack for making Sarah Jessica Parker look like a drag queen and convincing the world that it works. [Daily Mail]
• Bluefly loves the Hot Tranny Mess that is Christain Siriano. The Project Runway winner is working on a new collection, which makes us wonder if Bluefly will ever NOT be associated with the TV show. That would be a no. [Sassybella]
• Cindy Crawford, at the persuasion of some children, decided to go green. Phew! [Reuters]

• It's official: Nina Garcia is officially a has-been. The recently-fired Elle fashion director is now partnering with Bayer and Yaz to judge a contest in which people submit designs for a new little case to hold birth control pills. I don't know about you, but I like the purple faux-suede "wallet" that my Yasmin comes in just the way it is. [Fashionista]
  
• OMG sneak peek of Nina and Christian Siriano's performance on this week's Ugly Betty. [Sassybella]
  
• Radiohead: Fighting sweatshops. [Yahoo]
  
• Fergie is so P.C.: "I really love people who wear fashions of their own culture; they really touch me and inspire me. I'd like to call myself cultured and not just because I travel a lot and see various hotel rooms. I love driving around, seeing what people on the street are wearing, I would even ask my driver to take me to a cool, young part of town for inspiration. If I went to Africa I would come back with tons of different things, because I truly wouldn't find those things anywhere else." [Chic Report]

• Victoria's Secret is getting a taste of its own medicine: The retailer is being sued by Juicy Couture, which claims that the lingerie chain stole designs and marketing ideas. [WWD, sub req'd]
• A tentative agreement appears to have been reached between Bloomingdale's and the retail employees union. [WWD, sub req'd]
• It's hard to be Zoe Kravitz: "I commute on the Metro North from SUNY Purchase through Grand Central, so that takes most of my time. But I still get to wear Chanel tonight, which is always an upside." [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Versace vacation home in Italy has been sold to a Russian gajillionaire. [WWD, 1st item]
• Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz is designing a denim line for Acne Jeans. He promises it will offer silhouettes other than ubiquitous 'skinny jean.' Does that mean women over a size 10 can wear them? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Crotchity folks are claiming that the Ralph Lauren Ricky bag bears an uncanny resemblance to the Hermes Birkin bag. [Fashion Week Daily]
• At last: Service journalism you can actually use. Here's how to fix a broken nail. [BellaSugar]
• Wanna invest in Cavalli? Quick! Act now! [Reuters]
• Lord & Taylor is thinking about opening a store outside of the U.S, preferably in Canada or Mexico. Way to live dangerously, L&T. [NYT]
• How to dress like Madonna on the cheap. (Yes, go ahead and insert joke here.) [USA Today]
• Guys have body image issues; feel insecure shopping at Casual Male store. [WSJ]
• Since the economy sucks, outlets might be the only way for luxury retailers to make money. [WSJ]
• Bruce Willis' girlfriend Emma Harding: Now the face of La Senza lingerie. Glad things are working out for the girl based on her hard work and merit alone. [Daily Mail]

They are sick of "choice." It's not feminist to say so, but "choice" in many realms, is overrated. Choice just means more time wasted making pointless decisions. Choice means more scouring the grocery store in a daze and scanning the menu trying to figure out what it is exactly that you "want," when a lot of times what you really want is to spend more time doing what you really want and less time being annoyed your friend can't decide what pair of jeans to buy. And when it comes to health care, "choice" for most people has only ever led to more cash for more paperwork and more advertising.

They want a day off. I want a day off. In fact, I want ten. If I were in a union, I would totally authorize a strike, just so I could get a vacation from which I could return knowing no one else has swooped in to render me completely irrelevant, which they always seem to do just when you think you've made yourself indispensable.

Because they can. There are more than 15 million retail workers in America. And how many members does the national Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union that represents the Bloomie's cashiers and stock managers have? One hundred thousand. I'm sure there are other retail unions, but the fact is that I am not going to bother looking them up because I can tell you in full confidence that they have barely any members either, because department stores have been themselves rendered largely irrelevant by dollar stores and strip centers and suburban Best Buys and exurban Wal-Marts and ubiquitous Starbucks and all the other big companies that knew better than to let their workers unionize, lest they actually be forced to follow laws requiring them to provide uniforms and pay overtime and the like.

Because they're sick of Europeans. New York is being inundated with them right now, and although they're mostly attractive and friendly it's gotta be getting old, all those attractive, friendly people with their enviable education systems and universal health care and criminally high levels of life satisfaction and wads and wads of currency unweakened by the excesses of bankers and military industrial complex dwellers run amok and they're using it to buy out all the pretty dresses retail workers were hoping to get the chance to mark down. Fuck you, Euroca$h!

Because your store is making money hand over fist, but your 401(k) is going nowhere because the company keeps pissing it away buying celebrities who are RICH ENOUGH ALREADY. Macy's 1.17 billion ad budget of last year might have kept my old friends in the newspaper business on career life support for a little while, but it also lined the pockets of Jessica Simpson and Martha Stewart, and Jessica Simpson should have never been born.

Strike Possible This Week At Bloomingdale's Main Store [NY Times]

• Donatella Versace loves Hillary Clinton but thinks she should dress more like Donatella Versace if she wants to nab the presidency. [Vogue UK]
  
• But forget politics — where are we, Washington D.C.? — Donatella would much rather meet Martha Stewart. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• This week on Ugly Betty, recently fired ELLE fashion director Nina Garcia will appearing alongside Project Runway winner Christian Siriano. But in the season finale, ELLE's Nina-ousters Robbie Myers and Joe Zee will be appearing on the show, in a storyline featuring a softball game. Needless to say, this would seem to indicate a rapproachment on the level with Nixon meeting Mao, except when you remember that the common goal is not being on TV. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• How the fuck did Heidi Montag's clothing line outsell Victoria Beckham's at Kitson's? [TMZ]

• Bummer: Frances Bean Cobain is not going to be the next face of Chanel. [Vogue UK]
• Meta: ubermodel Liya Kebide is set to play supermodel Waris Durie in the upcoming bipic beased on Durie's autobiography. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Best headline ever: "Louis Vuitton Sues Darfur Fundraiser." [TorrentFreak]
• More from the wonderful Simon Doonan: "Basically I don't know anybody that remembers just the hallmark moments where you are riding a Victorian bicycle around trying to catch butterflies. There may be people who remember that but I think the medical emergencies and the crazy outfits always trump that stuff. Hence, the emphasis [in his writing] on things like flying dentures, prostitutes, medical emergencies and freak accidents." [Vogue UK]
• What's it like to be Madonna's makeup artist? Says Gina Brooke, "Usually on certain jobs you walk in and go, "OK, this is my idea." She's like, "No, this is my idea, and then you guys give me what you've got." [BellaSugar]
• Designer Cynthia Rowley's advice to graduates of Marymount University's fashion design and merchandising students, "If I can do it, you can do it." Gee, that's helpful. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Designer Ralph Rucci: Honorary Jezebel? "I think we're in a state of mediocrity. Magazines are totally unrelatable to what you look like...To show a garment that's difficult to wear, that just has a concept to it, is not fashion." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Mazel tov, probably, to Giorgio Armani who is rumored to be receiving France's Legion of Honor medal next month. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Solar Bag! So you can, um, recharge your cell phone using your handbag. [WWD, 1st item]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier: Now shilling man make-up. [NYMag]
• Avon profits are on the rise. This surely has something to do with the price of oil but we're too tired to come up with a silly theory. [Reuters]

• It will not surprise anyone to learn that the clothes worn in the Sex & The City movie were not paid for by the movie's production budget but by designers hoping that product placement in the movie will result in clothing sales to actual people convinced that dressing like the characters in Sex & The City is a wise course of action. [Variety]
  
• Speaking of which, Matthew Broderick on the opening of his latest film, the Helen Hunt-directed Then She Found Me: "We just get dressed, get in a car, and hope for the best. But Sarah Jessica's premiere will be a big one! She looks really beautiful today, but it's just the dress rehearsal for now." [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Hell to the no, Rami Kashou did not copy Yves Saint Laurent in designing a dress for Heidi Klum! [NY Mag]
  
• Bloomingdales' workers are on the brink of their first-ever strike. That's what you get when you let retail workers unionize, Terry Lundgren! [Crain's]

• "Her new 'grande bourgeoise' style suits her well," says lingerie designer Chantal Thomas of France's new first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. We think this is a compliment. [WWD, 4th item]
• Designer Bruce Oldfield is designing uniforms for McDonald's employees in the UK. But don't worry, they're not too "quirky and eccentric." [Vogue UK]
• Model Hana Soukupova on how she goes green: "I got a Range Rover as I just learned to drive and it's big and safe and great for driving around NYC. I am very eco-conscious and must admit I have been considering a different car for the summer. I'm thinking of swapping it for a Mini Cooper." You know, Hana? There's also walking. I know models at least have to know how to do that. [Chic Report]
• Yves Saint Laurent designer Stefano Pilati loves Jamba Juice. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Coach: Income up, stock down. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Calypso founder Christiane Celle has left the company she started, a mere seven months after cashing out big time to private equity firms. Blah, blah, irreconcilable differences, what else is new; can we still get candy-colored linen and silk little dresses? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Urban Outfitters: Soon to feature in-house collections by Geren Ford, Steven Alan, Charlotte Ronson, and Paul & Joe. Pete Wentz must be so excited. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Aw, vintage Krazy Karl. [Sassybella]

• Oh lord: Tom Ford is having a baby in 2008. It will be "biologically" his, not his partner Richard Buckley's. "I don't want to get to 75 years old and just have made a lot of dresses, done some houses." In the same interview: "I don't find a guy's cock or a woman's vagina offensive; in fact, I find them beautiful." So will he be penetrating one to achieve this demonspawn? He probably won't be able to keep them off him! "I was having sex with girls when I was 14, and that was because they were pouncing on me." [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Waris Dirie says she's super sorry about that whole "disappearance" thing last week. She said she got lost in Brussels and spent the whole three days she was "gone" walking around and sleeping in hotel lobbies since she didn't know where she was and didn't have any money. Um, Anne Heche enough for you? [MSNBC]
  
• Katoucha Niane's family is asking French police to investigate the possibility that she was murdered, despite the conclusion of accidental death by drowning from the autopsy. [Telegraph]
  
• ELLE Fashion News Editor Anne Slowey learns the whole "never put limp plumper under your eyes" lesson the hard way. [Fashion Week Daily]

• And in other ELLE news, soon-to-be-ousted International Creative Director Gilles Bensimon is very Zen about his looming departure from the fashion mag: "I'm surprised, but I'm not upset. It's not their obligation to use me [to shoot covers] and [creative director] Joe [Zee] does not have to explain anything to me....ELLE is my life. I've been there since I was 23 years old. I will be at ELLE until the last month, the last minute. I'm not upset at [editor-in-chief] Robbie [Myers], really. I don't want to hate people. Hate makes you weak." [Chic Report]
• And in other inspiring news, Diane von Furstenberg is thinking about writing a book about her mother, a Holocaust survivor. When her mother was forced to leave her home, en route to the first of three concentration camps she would be put in, she threw a note into the street which read, "I don't know where I'm going but I want you to know I'm leaving with a smile." [WWD, 1st item]
• Color us shocked: Rihanna says she wants to do her own clothing line. [Sunday Mirror]
• Even better: roses with the Louis Vuitton logo stamped onto them! [Inventor Spot]
• Kate Moss's personal assistant has resigned to have a baby and now Kate Moss is crying, saying her life is over. Oh Kate, maybe you'd be less hysterically self-absorbed easier if you had kids of your own...I mean... [Daily Mail]
• Beck's wife Marissa Ribisi will be showing her Whitley Kros collection at L.A. Fashion Week, which will also play host to Nicky Hilton and Lauren Conrad's shows. [LATimes]
• Urban Outfitters: It grows. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Nike: Feigning concern over the fact that some of its shoes are made in Chinese factories that are not held to the labor standards upheld by the Nike brand. [FT]
• Brace yourselves, Dubai: Bloomingdales is headed your way! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Feathers: Big for fall. Animal rights groups: Unhappy. [Independent]
• Is Colette Dinnigan doing a lingerie line for Target? And if so, will it only be for Target Australia? Wait, there's Target in Australia? [Sassybella]

"Spring arrives," begins the copy. And yet the calendar claims we actually have two more months. Well, here's a pretty dress with which to prepare.
(Kay Unger, $280)

As a fan of animal print it pains me to admit that this coat hurts my eyes.
(Michael Michael Kors, $185)

Gorgeous top! Perhaps season-pushing isn't all bad.
(Karen Kane, $138)

Except this isn't season-pushing, this is straight-up dreaming. Is anyone in the northern hemisphere prepared to bare shoulders right now? This isn't even spring-appropriate, this is a summer dress.
(Sutton Studio, $199)

Ow. Look, even the model's eyes hurt from viewing this abysmal ensemble. If this is a preview of spring, let's hope the groundhog never comes out.
(Eva Varro tunic, $159; pants, $129)

Oooh, love the sandals! The sunglasses are nicely oversized although they're by dreadful Juicy Couture. And the rain jacket is super cute as far as rain jackets go. OMG the pushing has been successful. Call me a pushover.
(Juicy Couture sunglasses, $135; Kors Michael Kors "Chic" sandal, $215; Aqua cropped waterproof jacket, $138)

Good heavens. If this sweater makes a professional model look thick-waisted and large hipped, what will it do to a mere mortal? Going back into hibernation now, kthxbai.
(Sutton Studio sweater coat, $169)

Earlier: J. Jill Vs. J. Crew: It's A Fashion Showcase Showdown
Frederick's Of Hollywood: Not As Slutty As You Might Think! (But Still Pretty Slutty)
Pottery Barn, Anthropologie & West Elm: Bedding Porn For Sleepyheads

• So that's what Naomi Campbell was doing in Venezuela: interviewing Hugo Chavez for British GQ. Now they're sending her to talk to Fidel Castro. Is this a fucking joke? And if not, does she realize the whole Latin American socialist alliance thing is like, kinda last season? [Vogue UK]
  
• Selling real fur as "faux": clever move, Neiman and Saks! [Consumerist]
  
• On the heels of an ELLE redesign, Vogue is undergoing some design "tweaking" of its own. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Agyness Deyn is the face of — well, the whole entire fucking universe, including the Armani cell phone. [Sassybella]

• Marketing ploy we just can't avoid: Blackberry has asked Karl Lagerfeld, Dita von Teese, Henry Holland and others to share their favorite secret spots for the masses on their new website The B List. Karl: likes eating tacos at La Esquina in NYC. Where they put crickets in the tacos! [Vogue UK]
• Signing bottles of Armani perfume in Milan, Beyonce shared how excited she was to go to her "mum's" for Christmas. Oh god. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Whoah: Over-the-knee Uggs. [FabSugar]
• Coach: still doing meh. [Portfolio]
• Lanvin Spring 2008 ads: you know, they said the giant tent-dress trend was over, but not really getting that vibe with this one... [Sassybella]
• Valentino Spring 2008 ads: who needs plastic surgery when you've got a giant handbag to shield your face? [Sassybella]

Oh, dear. When is this ever appropriate? Fur with fur rosettes? My, my, my. (Natural chinchilla stole with black cashmere and chinchilla rosette trim, $6,500)

So maybe they stole the padlock idea from YSL, but you've got to love that lock looking straight outta Home Depot; it's like a mix of common and posh, lowbrow and highbrow, working class and upper class. Or just, you know, shiny. (Furla satchel, $515)

Eh, not sure. The gray is nice, but top to bottom it's kind of like, fug, fugger and fuggest, especially at these prices. (Burberry "Shimmer Check" collection in cotton/Lurex with leather trim: key pouch, $95; mini doctor's bag, $295; tote, $395)

Oh, hey. Yeah, that's my boyfriend! Yawn, I see him like this all the time. (W Hotel robe, $125)

Yes to the tote bag and the ice cream maker; no to the ear muffs; ixnay on the Uicy-jay. (Harajuku Lovers tote, $68; Cuisinart soft serve ice cream maker, $99; Ugg ear muffs, $75; Juicy Couture gloves, $55)

Can even the most cynical among you admit that the Vera Wang Princess bottle is really kind of adorable? (Vera Wang Truly Pink, $87; Vera Wang Princess, $68; Vera Wang Eau de Parfum, $87)

New fashion trend: Florence Nightingale chic! (Ellen Tracy capelet sweater, $328; turtleneck, $298)

Dudes, a note: Chances are a $95 T-shirt, massage oil or cartoon-y messenger bag is is not what she wants. The bag is cute, though. (Tory Burch tees, $95; Agent Provocateur Ménage à Trois massage oil, $60; Tokidoki for LeSportSac bag, $160)

Juicy is such a fucking rip off. How do they get away with it? And it's one thing for Kim Kardashian to rock it, but when innocent children get involved, someone needs to step up and step in. (Juicy Girl hoodie, $110; pants, $92; long-sleeve tee, $62)

This woman appears to be constructed from a single tongue depressor. (Calvin Klein bra, $26; yoga pants, $49; robe, $75)

My boyfriend looked better in the Barneys catalog. (Spanish shearling jacket, $1,495)

Hey, black model! And hey, expensive jacket! (Lamb bolero with dyed fox trimmed sleeves, $13,000)

These Betsey Johnson pieces are delightfully tacky. (Necklace, $50; bracelet, $45)

"¿Donde estan mis pantalones?" (Free people hat, $58; scarf, $48; "snowed in" henley, $98; pompom socks, $28)

Earlier: Doctors Foster & Smith: The Crazy Cat Lady Catalog
J. Crew's "Very Merry Gift Guide"
The Vermont Country Store: For Old Alcoholics & The Kids Who Enable Them
Bergdorf Goodman: My Kingdom For A Fountain Pen
Barneys New York: Shiny Happy People & Crazy Expensive Clothes

The Men Who Love To Dress Your Feet [NYO]

Faster answers to whether you're stylin' [Atlanta Journal Constitution]