It could be horrifying.
Remember the insane Lindsay Lohan/Tyra Banks Disney movie, Life Size? Lindsay played a girl who accidentally brought her Barbie-ish doll to life while trying to resurrect her mother. Tyra's performance as Eve was pretty painful. The story — a "classic overachiever" acting as a mother figure; the lesson that you don't have to be perfect all the time — was okay, but not worth repeating. (And it's probably best to leave out any music.) And let's get honest here: Barbie was, from her inception, designed as an aspirational/inspirational toy: the very first commercial was about encouraging little girls to long to be beautiful, have lots of accessories and lots of clothes. At the time, she was different, a breakthrough doll, since little girls usually played with baby dolls — not dolls made to look like adults. Her preposterous physique has been much discussed; one study suggested that if Barbie were a real woman, she would be five-foot-nine, have measurements of 36-18-33, and lack the body fat needed to menstruate. Her "All-American" look — long blonde hair and blue eyes — was actually based on a German doll named Lilli; and when held up as a standard of beauty leaves most people out; blonde hair is actually extremely rare — many sources say that only 1.8% of the world's population is naturally blonde. Plus, Barbie's message of femininity focuses on being pretty and getting dressed. We've had enough of that.

It could be awesome.
Barbie has evolved throughout the last 50 years: Though she was first marketed as being a "Teen-age Fashion Model," Barbie has been an astronaut, a ballerina, a tennis star, a pilot, a firefighter, a chef and a presidential candidate. While she may not be focused, Barbie certainly sends the message that a woman can do anything. Or at least pretend to. If the screenwriters could manage to make Barbie some kind of amazing, confident, not-annoying superachiever — who can rope a calf, whip up lobster thermidor, kick a winning soccer goal and speak 8 languages — that could be a really fun flick. Especially since she runs around with a multi-ethnic cast of friends. And when it comes to Ken, Barbie could take him or leave him; her life may be full of tiny chewable shoes, but she's never needed a man to make her who she is. Other ideas: Or Barbie could be an actress. Or a spy! And just fake her many professions. Either way, she could be a bold, independent adventurer: A character girls — and women — could look up to.

Or, you know, the filmmakers could end up with this:

And FYI, guys: Columbia Pictures has entered into negotiations to pick up He-Man, another Mattel property. So cue male body-dysmorphic order inciting storylines in 3…2…

Barbie Headed To The Big Screen [The Hollywood Reporter]
The Many Jobs Of Barbie [List After List]
Encouraging Girls to Identify With Barbie [Sociological Images]

• Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing. Which is heartbreaking. We just don't want to think of Princess Buttercup feeling sad. [People]
  
• Jessica Alba and baby daddy Cash Warren are making it legal and have announced their engagement. Honestly, does anyone care? [USA Today]
  
• Poor Amy Winehouse: Has to go to court in Norway to deal with a marijuana possession charge. Hasn't our girl been through enough? [People]
  
• Ashley Olsen: Now thinner than Mary-Kate. [MSNBC]
  
• Given that the Jessica Simpson-Luke Wilson romantic comedy Blonde Ambition that opened over Christmas grossed only about $1,000 at the box office, Simpson's next film project, Major Movie Star, will be headed straight for DVD. [Page Six]

• We think that 3,000 picketing writers would make for the best Golden Globes ever. [NYT]
• Is Sienna Miller getting engaged to Rhys Ifan for her birthday today? [The Sun]
• Awkwardness abounds as the studio tries to find a way to promote the Ryan Philippe/Abbie Cornish film Stop-Loss without making the focus being the fact that it was working together on the project that Philippe and Cornish started a relationship. [Page Six]
• Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus and her also-15-year-old beau Nick Jonas have broken up. We would say "Oh they're only 15, this isn't even a real relationship," but then we remember Jaime-Lynn Spears. [Page Six]
• Does the fact that Miley has some not-so-innocent photos floating around the Internet have anything to do with it? [MSNBC]
• Marisa Tomei: Goes to church! What would George Costanza say? [Page Six]
• Glenn Close says her role in Fatal Attraction saved her marriage. We say that's kinda weird. [Daily Mail]
• Rebecca De Mornay was charged by the Los Angeles D.A. yesterday for two counts of misdemeanor driving. [TMZ]