People who aren't feminists or choose not to call themselves feminists on this blog usually have a decent argument, even if I don't agree with it. On some of the other sites I frequent (really, anything other than feminist ones)? It's the F-word. Women are constantly 'psycho ex-girlfriends,' 'golddiggers' or 'hysterical.' At the same time, feminism is a throwback that's no longer needed in these enlightened times. Everyone is assumed to be male unless their user name is Vagina(IHaveOne)87, and when they're discovered to be female 'You write like a guy' is the highest praise. Oh, and god forbid rape ever come up – apparently it is everyone's duty to point out as early as possible that women lie about it all the time. No discussion needed, just in case it's all lies. Let's wait for the rape kit to come back (if she can afford it and if they process it within 10 years) and for the trial (if it goes forward). No matter if no one personally knows the people involved or if everything else under the sun is discussed, often unquestioned.
Maybe I should get off comic book and movie sites.
Of course women's sites are needed. I used to hop around the internet pretty bored and listless. Then I started dating a guy who is a feminist and he directed me to this site. I was instantly obsessed, I read EVERY article and comment for at least a month. I was hypnotized by the notion of a site that has male commentators but has majority of female. Even when I didn't agree with people it was an eye-opener to read so many opinions and personal experiences. I admit I don't always agree with some articles but I LOVE having a base point to start a discussion with other people and already have had my mind opened to other sides of the story.
I think all the sites have their place. I go occasionally to Gawker, and Kotaku and I09 are right behind Jezebel on lists of places to kill some time, but Jezebel has something special in the setup. Yes there should definitely be a wide variety of unisex sites but there is nothing wrong with a little personalization and someone has to write them.
I came to Jezebel nearly two years ago (!!!) from, of all places....Fark. I had been frequenting Fark for about four years before I was drawn over to the ligtht side of the force - I think it was that "Photo Shop of Horrors" about the infamous Faith Hill Redbook cover. I have been coming back ever since.
I mean, when I want really mean-but-funny snark, angry debate for the sake of debate, over-the-top silliness I still like to go to Fark (hell, I have a Fark thread open in another tab). (Gawker just doesn't rate IMO)
But, when I want actual intelligent conversation with people I can actually relate to, and when I get to experience actual snippits of other people's lives, and feel like I am part of a community, Jez is it. Fark does have an element of community, but it's not a place where you can discuss your experiences with, say, sexual assault.
Ok you can, but the next posted response will probably a hotlinked image of the 40 pound box of rape.
Not so say Jezzies can't be irreverent or bring the funny - obviously they can, and they do - or that Farkers can't have intelligent conversations - I've learned a lot from Fark discussion threads.
But, in general, like many of the other readers, I consider Jez a place of sanctuary from the rest of the way women are treated - and the way women present themselves - on the internet. (although I think some of it rears its head in the "OMG I am 6' and weigh 120 lbs and am a DD cup and it is IMPOSSIBLE to find clothes!" type discussions) My only real beef is with the system for commenting - but that's neither here nor there, and no one cares what I think about that anyway.
The thing I like best about Jezebel is the variety of commenters. I love that there are high school students that comment here. When they say things like "I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'm beginning to realize xxx" with xxx being something about normative life that's totally fucked up for women*. Not only do I go "Ah I totally remember when I realized that!" but it reminds me that not everyone is at the depth of feminism I am. Which may sound arrogant, but I do not mean it in a judgy way. I mean that not everyone has spent hours and hours hating on the patriarchy, not everyone had the luxury of going to a women's college and seeing the difference a lack of men has on women's lives, not everyone reads Dworkin for fun (some haven't even heard of her).
As for echo chambers, I also tend to think of this as the most conservative site I read. I read more radically feminist sites (some of which are run by commenters here) than Jezebel, and so when I'm here part of me thinks of it as crossing the line into less fringe and more mainstream territory. I guess the fact that I consider this place as mainstream as I ever want to be says something about my own politics. But being around people who do not share my somewhat extreme views has helped me articulate my own beliefs. Has anyone here ever drastically changed my opinion of something I hold dear? No. But the nuances have made a difference. I also think that the writers employed by the site have a variety of views. I can usually tell who's writing what because they do actually have a spectrum of political views. I just don't consider "Obama's an African Terrorist" to be a view worth my time. So when you cut out the crazy part of the conversation, which is usually the explicitly racist sexist homophobic conservative side, the space for reasonable people to have different opinions becomes smaller, and I think the writers here cover lots of space within that "Reasonable" span.
Also sometimes there are threads that make me feel insane. Whenever there's a really long thread about rape, or heterosexual relationships and marriage, and people start telling their stories, it can get so intense. It's often painful and sad (because such is sexual assault) but also weirdly raw and beautiful, because it seems like for the first time in history women can come together from all over the world and share these things, and consciousness raise, and support each other. And so often the responses are touching and wonderful and kind, and several threads have reminded me how much work we have to do. But it's also like--these are the threads that are doing it. The conversations here are women communicating with each other, something that has been discouraged by the western dominant paradigm since the fucking 16th century. I love the TMI posts, because I think they are radically fucking feminist. #womensblogs
I'm at one of the three remaining all-women colleges at Cambridge - I didn't choose this college originally (I was pooled here after my interview), but I've found it so welcoming, liberal and friendly. As one girl wrote in a student newspaper recently - 700 years of this university's history have been written exclusively by men. If all women's colleges go even some way to evening out the balance, then that can only be a good thing.
The same applies to women's blogs, in my opinion. #womensblogs
It's a little sad that Double X is closing, but only because it so spectacularly failed to live up to its promise, and then it fell apart so quickly. I read some interesting stuff over there but it was outweighed 10-t0-1 by douchebaggery.
I like Jezebel for a lot of reasons but one of my favorite is the commenting policy. I love love love that bigoted bullshit is not tolerated, that I will never see someone rant about how Obama is a socialist commie Muslin terrorist and all of the other awful shit you see on 95% of the blogs and news sites out there. Every good online community I've ever been a part of (particularly this, Hissyfit and Fametracker) has had a very tough commenting policy, and it makes for a good place to hang. Lots of people don't like that kind of thing, but they tend to be the kind of people who announce that they are "First!!!!!!!!1eleventy" and there are a million places for them to go where that kind of shit is encouraged. #womensblogs
@whynotshesaid: I agree totally. I used to read a lot of different women-focused blogs, but I'm sticking around Jezebel a lot more often these days. Mostly that's just because I'm sick of crap comments. Racist, sexist, crazy right-wing, or just trying to make other people look stupid - it gets old fast. Jezzies are (mostly) so nice to each other that it's just a lot more pleasant to hang out here. #womensblogs
@winner: They keep knit-picking about his birth certificate, but I'm a-frayed their arguments completely unravel if you even look at them closely. #womensblogs
@NotMandatory: It is! It's like hanging out with a bunch of really cool friends who are smart and funny and righteous and only slightly asshole-y, but only toward people who deserve it.
I need Jezebel to exist as an outlet for my workplace inappropriate sense of humor. Also, without it, I'd probably go insane here, like cartoon insane, when the cartoon character is reduced to using its index finger to make brrbabrbab noises on its lips. #womensblogs
@morninggloria: Also, without it, I'd probably go insane here, like cartoon insane, when the cartoon character is reduced to using its index finger to make brrbabrbab noises on its lips."
That got a smile out of me.
I think my breakdown would be less benign...more like, destroying property. Good thing I'm lethargic...really making a scene takes so much WORK.
I came pretty close during final exams though...suddenly the desks seemed criminally small for all the shit we needed on there (teacher-approved cheat sheet, pencils, pen, calculator, scratch paper, test booklet, exam itself....) #womensblogs
I find Jezebel to be a place where I can keep up with current events and pop culture, read some hilarious articles, and interact with a broad sampling of intelligent women and men who have strong and well supported opinions that I can learn from and respectfully debate with.
Plus, I laugh a lot when I read Jezebel.
It would be incredibly difficult for any of us to find this type of positive, feminist and educated audience anywhere in the real world. I don't have a television and I'm too busy with school and work to have that many friends, but if I can log onto here for an hour or so a day all of that is okay. #womensblogs
@Snowbunny: It is refreshing to not be the educator too. Even the people in my life that are receptive to what I have to say need someone to fill in the blanks sometimes. Being able to use feminist speak and not having to break to explain is pretty awesome. #womensblogs
@mama_t: " I thought DoubleX was terrible. Because ultimately, what we need are GOOD blogs covering their piece of the sphere well."
Repeated for emphasis. I couldn't understand why DoubleX women writers seemed so regularly full of internalized misogyny until I understood it was a spinoff blog, and from what source.
@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: Aw, maybe they can start a club. I'm thinking, "The Men's Rights Club: Defending the Rights of Men to Own Everything and Control Everyone Always."
Long answer, a male coworker of mine, whose views are different from my own but whom I suspect is a generally decent person (he's a little bit Kenneth, a little bit Gomer Pyle, a little bit Justin Timberlake's hair circa 1999), just made the following statements: "You know, I don't really think women are funny. And I don't like women protagonists in movies. I can't relate to them. Women can relate to women and men protagonists, but men can only relate to men protagonists. Women and men are just really different."
And that's as deep as his thinking got. I suggested that perhaps we all learn, from a young age, to look at the world through (heterosexual, often white) men's eyes, citing a few basic ads as evidence. In return, I got a blank stare, and then he backed up his claim that women are another species by throwing out some stereotype all-stars (women are clean, women are overly emotional, women are complicated, women are materialistic, men are dirty and simple, etc.).
If women's blogs a) allow me to escape from his conversation to a place where I feel comfortable having meaningful conversations about gender and b) offer a place where he could, however unlikely, learn that men and women are not opposites (yet somehow strangely unequal in his eyes as well), then yes. Viva la ladyblogs. #womensblogs
@jigglyball: "I got a blank stare"
You usually do -- especially from the ones who "haven't had the time" to read much linguistics or psychology.
Generally, though, since the world tends to conform to their POV unless challenged, they don't have to.
Which brings us back to square zero. #womensblogs
@justcallmeangel: He's from a part of the South I'm pretty familiar with, and he simply hasn't examined the values that were handed to him from his parents and community. He's also dim. Really, really dim, and I'm not sure he's fully capable of thinking outside of proscribed norms at this point in his life (how sad is it that viewing women as equals is "outside proscribed norms"?). I can fault him for ignorance, but I really can't fault him for being stupid. #womensblogs
Longer reply: I guess we all know a coworker / relative / neighbour like that. The "stereotype all-stars" is all too familiar...
After a long day of work, entitled white males, pay-gap denial, male chauvinistic douches, glass ceiling and creepy jerks, I need my Jezebel like others would need a drink.
I need to be reminded that there are like-minded people who discuss the issues, and try to make a difference, one witty post / comment at a time #womensblogs
@jigglyball: Thank goodness for Jezebel. I feel a bit bad for this "blank stare" sort - they don't have the capacity or desire to organise their own world, and just regurgitate the organisation they've been given without questioning it. #womensblogs
Every blog is a gathering place for (mostly) like minded people - just like any gathering. The internet just provides a place for us to gather vitually.
And yes, I need a safe women's forum to discuss some issues. I appreciate a quality forum for both men and women for me to discuss other issues and to learn things.
I think it's a real fallacy to blame the internet for 'balkanization' of opinion. We've no real proof to back it up. I've spent a lot of my time poring through British newspapers from 100 years ago and studying their circulation patterns. Back in those days, editorials ruled ALL, and people bought the papers that told them the things they wanted to hear. Papers quite openly identified with particular political parties and editorial content and news could barely be separated (quite a few editorials were just slotted in alongside 'objective' news). Kolbert uses the 'birthers' as an example but she fails to ask the corollary question--how much of the 'birther' thing was fuelled by mainstream news sources treating it like a legitimate and widespread phenomenon? Or by mainstream news orgs being so obsessed with 'balance' that they give platforms to the lunatic fringe? Furthermore, I think it's fair to say that people in the pre-internet era believed an awful lot of crazy shit about politics as well. The Kennedy conspiracy theories sure didn't need the internet to get going, after all.
On the internet, as Anna writes, it's possible just to keep linking to sites that confirm existing prejudices. But one can also come across all kinds of thoughts and opinions more easily, and explore different ideologies slowly. I'm always being challenged and inspired by Jez and its commenters, in real time; commenting and responding are an order of magnitude more intense than sending an angry letter to a newspaper. #womensblogs
11/18/09
Maybe I should get off comic book and movie sites.
11/18/09
I think all the sites have their place. I go occasionally to Gawker, and Kotaku and I09 are right behind Jezebel on lists of places to kill some time, but Jezebel has something special in the setup. Yes there should definitely be a wide variety of unisex sites but there is nothing wrong with a little personalization and someone has to write them.
11/18/09
I mean, when I want really mean-but-funny snark, angry debate for the sake of debate, over-the-top silliness I still like to go to Fark (hell, I have a Fark thread open in another tab). (Gawker just doesn't rate IMO)
But, when I want actual intelligent conversation with people I can actually relate to, and when I get to experience actual snippits of other people's lives, and feel like I am part of a community, Jez is it. Fark does have an element of community, but it's not a place where you can discuss your experiences with, say, sexual assault.
Ok you can, but the next posted response will probably a hotlinked image of the 40 pound box of rape.
Not so say Jezzies can't be irreverent or bring the funny - obviously they can, and they do - or that Farkers can't have intelligent conversations - I've learned a lot from Fark discussion threads.
But, in general, like many of the other readers, I consider Jez a place of sanctuary from the rest of the way women are treated - and the way women present themselves - on the internet. (although I think some of it rears its head in the "OMG I am 6' and weigh 120 lbs and am a DD cup and it is IMPOSSIBLE to find clothes!" type discussions) My only real beef is with the system for commenting - but that's neither here nor there, and no one cares what I think about that anyway.
11/17/09
As for echo chambers, I also tend to think of this as the most conservative site I read. I read more radically feminist sites (some of which are run by commenters here) than Jezebel, and so when I'm here part of me thinks of it as crossing the line into less fringe and more mainstream territory. I guess the fact that I consider this place as mainstream as I ever want to be says something about my own politics. But being around people who do not share my somewhat extreme views has helped me articulate my own beliefs. Has anyone here ever drastically changed my opinion of something I hold dear? No. But the nuances have made a difference. I also think that the writers employed by the site have a variety of views. I can usually tell who's writing what because they do actually have a spectrum of political views. I just don't consider "Obama's an African Terrorist" to be a view worth my time. So when you cut out the crazy part of the conversation, which is usually the explicitly racist sexist homophobic conservative side, the space for reasonable people to have different opinions becomes smaller, and I think the writers here cover lots of space within that "Reasonable" span.
Also sometimes there are threads that make me feel insane. Whenever there's a really long thread about rape, or heterosexual relationships and marriage, and people start telling their stories, it can get so intense. It's often painful and sad (because such is sexual assault) but also weirdly raw and beautiful, because it seems like for the first time in history women can come together from all over the world and share these things, and consciousness raise, and support each other. And so often the responses are touching and wonderful and kind, and several threads have reminded me how much work we have to do. But it's also like--these are the threads that are doing it. The conversations here are women communicating with each other, something that has been discouraged by the western dominant paradigm since the fucking 16th century. I love the TMI posts, because I think they are radically fucking feminist. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
The same applies to women's blogs, in my opinion. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
I like Jezebel for a lot of reasons but one of my favorite is the commenting policy. I love love love that bigoted bullshit is not tolerated, that I will never see someone rant about how Obama is a socialist commie Muslin terrorist and all of the other awful shit you see on 95% of the blogs and news sites out there. Every good online community I've ever been a part of (particularly this, Hissyfit and Fametracker) has had a very tough commenting policy, and it makes for a good place to hang. Lots of people don't like that kind of thing, but they tend to be the kind of people who announce that they are "First!!!!!!!!1eleventy" and there are a million places for them to go where that kind of shit is encouraged. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
I couldn't stop myself! #womensblogs
11/17/09
*sigh* #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
Ok done! That felt good. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
11/17/09
I kept this page for ages:
[web.archive.org]
I need to put it up again (Geocities shut down recently). #womensblogs
11/18/09
You are officially my Jezebel bestie for sharing this with me. I would leg hug you if I could.
11/18/09
11/17/09
11/17/09
11/17/09
That got a smile out of me.
I think my breakdown would be less benign...more like, destroying property. Good thing I'm lethargic...really making a scene takes so much WORK.
I came pretty close during final exams though...suddenly the desks seemed criminally small for all the shit we needed on there (teacher-approved cheat sheet, pencils, pen, calculator, scratch paper, test booklet, exam itself....) #womensblogs
11/17/09
Plus, I laugh a lot when I read Jezebel.
It would be incredibly difficult for any of us to find this type of positive, feminist and educated audience anywhere in the real world. I don't have a television and I'm too busy with school and work to have that many friends, but if I can log onto here for an hour or so a day all of that is okay. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
11/17/09
I'm still laughing from your comment, by the way. #womensblogs
11/17/09
Repeated for emphasis. I couldn't understand why DoubleX women writers seemed so regularly full of internalized misogyny until I understood it was a spinoff blog, and from what source.
11/17/09
11/17/09
The poor dears. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
11/17/09
Long answer, a male coworker of mine, whose views are different from my own but whom I suspect is a generally decent person (he's a little bit Kenneth, a little bit Gomer Pyle, a little bit Justin Timberlake's hair circa 1999), just made the following statements: "You know, I don't really think women are funny. And I don't like women protagonists in movies. I can't relate to them. Women can relate to women and men protagonists, but men can only relate to men protagonists. Women and men are just really different."
And that's as deep as his thinking got. I suggested that perhaps we all learn, from a young age, to look at the world through (heterosexual, often white) men's eyes, citing a few basic ads as evidence. In return, I got a blank stare, and then he backed up his claim that women are another species by throwing out some stereotype all-stars (women are clean, women are overly emotional, women are complicated, women are materialistic, men are dirty and simple, etc.).
If women's blogs a) allow me to escape from his conversation to a place where I feel comfortable having meaningful conversations about gender and b) offer a place where he could, however unlikely, learn that men and women are not opposites (yet somehow strangely unequal in his eyes as well), then yes. Viva la ladyblogs. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
You usually do -- especially from the ones who "haven't had the time" to read much linguistics or psychology.
Generally, though, since the world tends to conform to their POV unless challenged, they don't have to.
Which brings us back to square zero. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
Longer reply: I guess we all know a coworker / relative / neighbour like that. The "stereotype all-stars" is all too familiar...
After a long day of work, entitled white males, pay-gap denial, male chauvinistic douches, glass ceiling and creepy jerks, I need my Jezebel like others would need a drink.
I need to be reminded that there are like-minded people who discuss the issues, and try to make a difference, one witty post / comment at a time #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
11/17/09
A mere two seconds of thought punctures enough holes in that rhetorical rowboat to send it straight to the bottom of the pond. #womensblogs
11/17/09
11/17/09
Please, please reply next time with something like, "Oh, so women are smarter than men because they can understand and relate to more?" #womensblogs
11/17/09
And yes, I need a safe women's forum to discuss some issues. I appreciate a quality forum for both men and women for me to discuss other issues and to learn things.
Fortunately, Jezebel exists! #womensblogs
11/17/09
On the internet, as Anna writes, it's possible just to keep linking to sites that confirm existing prejudices. But one can also come across all kinds of thoughts and opinions more easily, and explore different ideologies slowly. I'm always being challenged and inspired by Jez and its commenters, in real time; commenting and responding are an order of magnitude more intense than sending an angry letter to a newspaper. #womensblogs