<![CDATA[Jezebel: blame game]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: blame game]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/blamegame http://jezebel.com/tag/blamegame <![CDATA[Not Getting Any? It's Your Own Damn Fault]]> Are you having sex? Like, on a regular basis? CNN claims that women today have less time for sex than their 1950s counterparts. And if it's not a lack of time keeping you from bumping uglies, it's something else, but it's probably your fault. Writes Leslie Goldman, "It's harder to initiate sex if your spouse is hiding behind a newspaper or glued to the TV or if your hands are busy exploring the Web rather than his body." Hey, how come the dude in the picture doesn't just pry the laptop right out of the woman's hands and bang her? Why does the woman bear all the responsibility? Other reasons you're not having sex: You're on libido-killing contraceptives, you don't like your body, you're perimenopausal, you're depressed. (And if you're not depressed, you will be when you discover it's all your fault you're not getting laid.) But there's hope, courtesy of The Independent: A Valentine's Day list of aphrodisiacs to "boost your sex drive," ranging from oysters to female testosterone patches and uh, counseling.

Speaking of counseling, a 27-year-old woman quoted in a recently re-published Psychology Today article says she's just not that into it (after having a baby that is): "After I gave birth to my daughter my sex drive decreased... I don't like to cuddle and I barely like to kiss... Do I need therapy?" Instead of just saying, "Nah, give it some time," Nando Pelusi, Ph. D. offers this: "You may be fatigued." Who the hell isn't? But here's question: How come women are always painted as reluctant delicate flowers not interested in sex? And why do they need "fixing" if this is the case? (P.S. According to CNN, 40 million Americans are in a marriage where sex occurs less than 10 times a year.)

Surprising Reasons You're Not Having Sex [CNN]
How To Boost Your Sex Drive [Independent]
Earlier: Wait, You're Too Tired?

[Image via CD Music To Make Love By ]

]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=355583&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Are Breakups Contagious?]]> In the Guardian's "Private Lives" column today, a reader writes that she broke up with her boyfriend of seven years because two days before they were closing on the sale of a house, he told her he was worried about commitment. She said it had to be all or nothing; he chose nothing. Now, a couple the reader and her ex are friends with are also having problems: After being together for twenty years and planning summer nuptials, the man is suddenly not sure about marriage. The reader worries that her ex influenced the man. Here's the question: Are breakups contagious?

One commenter on the Guardian's site responds to the dilemma with the statement, "You are not responsible for the decisions that other people make." Yet another opines, "I do not believe that your ex could persuade him to call off his wedding. The man must have had his own doubts about marrying your friend before your relationship broke down." But expert Linda Blair writes:

It is likely that your ex did influence this man - they are good friends, so no doubt they value one another's opinions. But I don't see why this should matter to you. You are not responsible for your ex's behaviour, nor for that of his friends.
What's the deal with the relationship-domino effect? If everything around you crumbles, are are you more likely to fall? Could being close to a couple who splits make your relationship suffer? And if so, is it fair to blame them?

Has My Ex Helped To Split Up Our Friends? [Guardian]

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