Blake Lively's Giant Diamond Ring Is Really, Really Distracting
Warning: Be very careful while watching this cooking segment, lest ye be blinded by a diamond the size of Wisconsin. Apparently the end product of this recipe is 70% brie, which I don't have a problem with, and it seems as though Blake Lively has a cool technique when it comes to egg cracking, but who can concentrate…
Prince Harry and Michelle Obama Host Swoony White House Teatime
Re-watch your VHS of the Oscar-winning Julia Stiles rom-com The Prince And Me, because Prince Harry is on our shores and hearts are motherfucking AFLUTTER. Michelle Obama and Jill Biden surprised their guests at a White House Mother's Day ceremony when the Royal Ginger Apparated in front of the crowd.
Jennifer Aniston Panicky That Brangelina's Wedding Will Upstage Hers
Although Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston, Chandler Bing and that duck called a truce at some point, as Brangelina's and Jenreaux's (?) marriages draw nearer, threatening to even land sort of around the same time, some obvious problems become apparent.
While little choreographed…Mila Kunis Wears Sweatpants, Tears Hole in Space-Time Continuum
From the New York Post, the publication which just two days ago brought us the epic tale of Lena Dunham's "sloppy backside," we now have a full-fledged attack on Mila Kunis' choice of loungewear when she steps out for a coffee or whatever:
Rebel Wilson Hosting the MTV Movie Awards? So Far the Apocalypse Is Awesome
The MTV Movie Awards have finally figured out what it will take to get us to watch the MTV Movie Awards: they have announced that Rebel Wilson will be hosting this year's ceremony on April 14th, the first female host since Sarah Silverman in 2007, and a damn good choice at that. However, it being MTV, here is the…
Justin Bieber Has Made an Enemy of the California Hamster Organization
The California Hamster Organization (Suggested alternate name: Hamsters, Motherfucker™) have accused Justin Bieber of animal cruelty after he gave his little buddy Pac away to a particularly enthused fan. Their objections are that hamsters "often succumb quickly to illness and death," especially when faced with…
Kim Kardashian's Kitten, Mercy, Has Died
Oh my fuck, this is the saddest thing, not to mention positively Dourtney-esque: Kim Kardashian's four-month-old teacup Persian, Mercy has died. After discovering she was allergic to cats, Kardashian had passed Mercy on to Khloé Kardashian Odom's assistant, Sydney Hitchcock, whose 12-year-old cat had just died. All…
Lady Gaga Might Join Really Really Ridiculously Good-Looking Cast of Zoolander 2
Good thing you didn't hold your breath waiting for the sequel to the 2001 comedy Zoolander, or else we'd be saying your eugoogly right now (sorry). But Zoolander 2 is coming around the bend now, I guess, featuring the return of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as male models Derek (who actually resurfaced recently at The…
Elizabeth Taylor Had a Threesome With JFK and Another Dude in a Pool
In the age of designer drugs and Twitter and cell phone pictures of celebrities grinding with each other to music composed almost entirely of beeps, there's something classy about an old-school Hollywood scandal. Even Lindsay Lohan's sordid exploits can't match those of Elizabeth Taylor, whom Lohan depicts in the…
Watch Lindsay Lohan in the Craptastic Liz & Dick Trailer
Here is the latest Lifetime promo for Liz & Dick, and it is bad. In the 5 seconds that feature Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor, she chews so much scenery she winds up with linoleum in her teeth ("YOUAH SCREWING THAT WITCH???!!1*tosses glass*) and in the background blares that dubsteppy-sounding song from a…
And Now For An Unsolicited Uterus Update on Blake Lively
This morning serves us up some Gossip Girl meta-theater. Rumors on the set of GG are that Blake Lively is "glowing," which is Hollywoodese for "Lookit, there might be a baby in that person." A source from the show adds, "Blake is usually really careful about what she eats, but since her wedding, she seems to be eating…
Kate Middleton Got Giggly As She Greeted Topless Islanders
Kate Middleton giggled uncontrollably as she and Prince William visited the Solomon Islands and were presented with garlands by topless women from the village of Marau, likely because being presented with boobs are kind of on-the-nose for her right now. The islands were the latest stop on the royals' Diamond Jubilee…
Dina Lohan Slurs Her Way Through Disastrous Dr. Phil Interview
Dina Lohan taped a soon-to-be-infamous interview with Dr. Phil (set to air Sept. 17) in which she fidgets and slumps and giggles all over the place like a sun-dried tomato on Adderall. You have to hand it to the lady—it's not easy to make Dr. Phil look like the most sane and reasonable clump of atoms in the room (fun…
Sheryl Crow Thinks She Got a Brain Tumor From Her Cell Phone, and Other Tales of Terror
I always knew that Stephen King books were based in reality: Sheryl Crow struck fear into the hearts of all by suggesting that her benign brain tumor was caused by cell phone use, although "there are no doctors that will confirm that," she told Katie Couric. "I do have the theory that it's possible that it's related…
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively Secretly Got Married in a Cotton Field
My Size Barbie and Ken Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds put on the My Wedding Dream Clothes™ that came in the box with them and stealthily got married on a plantation in South Carolina yesterday. Their friend
Bell Sleeves
Florence Welch was there to sing in honor of their love, and so—more importantly!—was Hollywood's…

