• Video: Samantha Ronson peels out of a Vegas club parking lot. A minute later, Lindsay Lohan emerges, saying, "Did she leave? She fucking left? Where's my car? I want my fucking keys now." [TMZ]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but: Brad Pitt! And the nanny?!?! "Angelina flew into a jealous rage when she walked past the open bedroom door of 8-month-old twins, Knox and Vivienne - and didn't like what she saw! And it's not surprising, for Brad was on the bed, rubbing the back of a pretty young nanny! Angie got so mad she slapped Brad and fired the girl on the spot!" [Star]
• Speaking of Brad and Angie, E! donated $250,000 to the Jolie-Pitt Foundation last year. They probably thought it would get them not-snubbed on the red carpet; the money went to Brad's Make It Right Foundation in New Orleans and three different UN organizations working in Darfur. [Fox 411]
• George Clooney got drunk and was seen stumbling back to his hotel in St. Louis. [Gatecrasher]
• Hmm, Sean "Diddy" Combs says he did Chris Brown and Rihanna a "favor" by letting them stay at his house. "It's my house, and I'm allowed to give my house to whoever I want to give my house to," Diddy told Ellen. "I don't cast a stone – cast judgment on anybody. So, if friends ask me for a favor, then I'm going to be there for a favor as long as I know the energy of the favor is positive." He also said: "I don't think it's right for anybody to hit anybody." [People]
• The father of Chris Brown's manager, Tina Davis, says of the speculation that Chris and Tina were having a romantic relationship is just" old rumors." [E!]
• Hey, guess who's not going to the Kids' Choice Awards? Chris Brown. [People]
• Miley Cyrus says she's not ready to move in with her 20-year-old boyfriend: "I love him to death…but no…[Justin] is so smart, but just like, everything has to, like, go where it's supposed to go and if it doesn't, I get like really frustrated." Uh, what? [Page Six]
• So on Dancing With Stars, Lil Kim gave her former fellow inmates a shoutout. The Scoop asks, "Is it possible for inmates to vote for Dancing With the Stars, but not for the president?" A spokesperson from prison says: "The inmates cannot dial toll-free numbers." And there's no internet. So. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This piece, titled "Octomom Spurs Media Madness" is about how Oprah and Dr. Phil saw ratings jump with Nadya Suleman-themed shows. [Variety]
• Oh, of course TMZ's Harvey Levin has seen the tape of Nadya Suleman giving birth. Jeez. He says the "friend" filming was "annoying the doctors and nurses by getting in the way." [TMZ]
• Holy crap: PETA vice president Dan Mathews shook hands with Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• The French are mad at Carla Bruni for showing up at a Mexican state dinner wearing "a dazzling array" of diamonds — her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy, was in Mexico to discuss the world recession. Anyway, they're calling her Marie Antoinette. [Gatecrasher]
• There's an interesting interview with Katy Perry on Esquire's site, and at the top of the web browser frame are the words "Katy Perry Naked - Hot Pics Of Katy Parry[sic] Topless." She is neither naked nor topless. [esquire]
• Someone somewhere claims that Mischa Barton didn't want to audition for the new Melrose Place but to just be given a role. In the end she had to go through the casting process like anyone else, sigh. Tough times! [Perez]
• Meanwhile, word is that Ashlee Simpson is doing Melrose because she wants something stable so she can be close to her baby. [People]
• The American Idol "dialing disaster" was averted, hopefully. You know Anoop's original phone number was a sex line, right? [People]
• Geri Halliwell has said ciao to her Italian fiancé. [The Sun]
• Does Amy Winehouse want to work on a TV quiz show? And more important: Wouldn't you watch? [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has been updating her Facebook page to say things like "Nothing is worth as much as Blake," and "Where's my oblivious Blakey Boy?" For some reason, this is "news." [The Sun]
• "Hundreds of women in skimpy two-pieces will gather Saturday on the shore in Miami Beach and spell out the word C-O-S-M-O for an aerial photograph to be featured in the August issue." For Cosmopolitan, that classy publication. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan needs cash. His lawyers are trying to get some assets unfrozen; the Hulkster had back surgery and won't be able to work for awhile. [AP]
• Q: Are you busy? A: I'm trying to be busy. It's not so easy. Everyone thinks I'm dead. — From an interview with Lauren Bacall. [Houston Chronicle]
• Oy: Matt Lucas, co-creator of Little Britain, is working on a Jewish sitcom. [Telegraph]
• Jade Goody, the Brit celeb diagnosed with cervical cancer and given weeks to live, has left the hospital to be home with her husband and kids. [BBC News]
• Sir Paul McCartney's show in Las Vegas is already sold out, sorry. Tickets were gone seven seconds after going on sale. [Mirror]
• Blind item: "Which Celebrity Apprentice was such a boozebag behind the scenes that all alcohol had to be removed from the set?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wasn't, quote, 'dropped' from the movie. I resigned from the movie because I didn't think I had enough time to achieve the look of the wrestler who was on steroids, which I would never do." — Nicolas Cage, on The Wrestler. Then he said: "The movie was written for Mickey. And, for whatever reason, they couldn't get the financing for the movie back then."
• "Fortunately I haven't had any break-ups. This is my first relationship. I'm very, very happy, that's all I'll say. We were together for a really long time before we got married, we were in no rush." — Beyoncé. [The Star]
• "I always wanted to suspend from the ceiling in a twirling banana. I'm going to be inside the banana. So the banana drops into a fruit bowl with the other sparkling, glorious fruit, and their tops pop off and dancers come out and help peel me out of the banana. I have a fascination with fruit… It's Lucille Ball meets Bob Mackie. It's about innuendo. I want everybody to get the joke, but I want them to think about it for a minute." — Katy Perry, on her persona. [Esquire]
• "If things happen in the press that are hard to deal with or you give in to that awful temptation to occasionally Google yourself and be mortified at what people can write about you. It's hard to ignore it. Keira will phone me up. She's like, 'I'm thinking about doing it.' I'm like, 'I am, too, but don't do it.' And we'll kind of talk each other out of it." — Sienna Miller, on her friendship with Keira Knightley. [Mirror]
• "My mom thought it was cool that if you got a business card that said 'Taylor' you wouldn't know if it was a guy or a girl. She wanted me to be a business person in a business world." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "That one kinda hurts, because I don't have any rights to participate in it at all. It was done at a time when I was dirt poor so I had to sell everything when I sold the script, so that one hurts a bit." — Wes Craven on the remake of Nightmare On Elm Street. [The Star]
• "The past year has obviously been very difficult for me. Yoga has really helped me turn it into a huge learning experience. I'm working hard to take what I went through and turn it into something positive. Yoga helps me focus." — Ashley Dupre, former call girl of former Governor Eliot Spitzer. [Page Six]
• "My feeling about the movies is that most of them are terrible. If you don't have a decent script and a decent director, forget it. That's why I thought the Benjamin Button movie was so encouraging. I'll forgive anybody anything if they have talent. What I find most disconcerting is that people in the profession are not creative but only interested in money, which is what this country is most about. It doesn't appreciate talent. … For eight years we had a moron in the White House who didn't even know what art meant." — Lauren Bacall. There are more quips in the interview! [Houston Chronicle]

• Britney's comeback tour isn't selling so well, and Brit Brit might be singing to empty seats. She's all: "My loneliness… is killing me…" [MSNBC]

• Fans are "stunned" that Rihanna and Chris Brown have reconciled, and are hanging out together at the Miami home of Sean "Diddy" Combs. [Reuters]
• Chris Brown was seen Saturday and Sunday, jet skiing around Miami's Star island, like he doesn't have a care in the world. [Yahoo News via E!, People]
• Chris Brown was not, however, partying with Reggie Bush and Khloe Kardashian: Apparently Reggie's best friend looks "just like" Chris Brown. [People]
• This story begins, "Sorry, Chris Brown haters. The R&B star maybe isn't quite as awful as some media reports are making him out to be." Since he wasn't out partying Saturday night. But what about, you know, how he punched a woman in the face? [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown has also been recording tracks for his new album while in Miami. Let the terrible feeling that there will be an apology track wash over you. [E!]
• Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson ate dog biscuits on German TV to promote Marley & Me. This is not a joke. Jen said: "They're a little dry." [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay Lohan has been eschewing pants. She's not even wearing leggings anymore. Just tights. T-shirts with tights. [NY Daily News]
• Lindsay Lohan went to Samantha Ronson's half-brother's bar mitzvah on Saturday. A photographer asked Lindsay — who was raised Catholic — if she was switching religions, to which she replied: "I'm trying." She'll be a nice Jewish wife for Sam. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay's Facebook status says "I'm converting." [Mirror]
• Speaking of religious experiences: Madonna, Jesus Luz and her three kids attended a Kabbalah service together. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Jesus putting a "loving arm" around her Madgesty. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Poehler is in the new "comedy" issue of Vanity Fair, but there are only dudes on the cover, boo. [NY Post]
• The father of ten-year-old Azharuddin Ismail from Slumdog Millionaire wants more cash. He says the kid will get less than £20,000 for the hit flick, which has grossed £123million. (There is a trust set up for the child to get money when he turns 18.) He says: "My son has taken on the world and won. I am so proud of him but I want more money. They promised me a new house but it hasn't happened. I'm still in the slum. I want the money now, it is of no use later. Mr. Boyle should take care of my son." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, ten-year-old Azharuddin Ismail has been sick with a fever and vomiting. And Rubina Ali, who played the young Latika, has refused to take off the dress she wore to the Oscars and wants "a proper bed... I have seen what it is like in America. Here, there is garbage everywhere, people get angry, swear and shout. I have realized how bad life is here. I just want to get out." [The Daily Beast via Telegraph]
• Did Katie Holmes miss the Oscars because a "punishing detox diet" left her tired and lethargic? [Daily Mail]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Katie Holmes is not pregnant. [USA Today]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, has been offered a year of free clothing by Custom Kingdom. They make a onesie which reads, "I'm out on parole." Classy! [Us]
• Spotted "shouting incoherently" and "running up and down the aisles" in the Club World section of a British Airlines overnight flight from the Carribbean to London: Amy Winehouse. [Daily Mail]
• "Amy Winehouse's husband out of jail… and in the arms of love rival Sophie." [Mirror]
• Jake Gyllenhaal was seen shopping for women's underwear, but when someone recognized him, he fled without making the purchase. Poor Reese! [The Sun]
• Snoop Dogg was at the Nation of Islam's annual Saviours Day convention on Sunday. Apparently he's a member of the Nation? [AP]
• Real Housewives star Kim Zolciak has been sued by her publicist. At the same time, she is trying to get a restraining order on the guy. [E!]
• Adam Pascal, "Roger" from the orignal cast of Rent thinks Jeremy Piven's "mercury poisoning" is "bullshit." Why TMZ felt the need to ask him remains a mystery. [TMZ]
• Heath Ledger's final film, Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus, is "struggling" to get a distribution deal. [Telegraph]
• Michael Jackson has "secretly" recorded over 100 songs to be released only after his death. They will be left to his three kids, Prince, Paris and Blanket, who would probably would prefer a mansion or some cash. [Daily Express]
• Keira Knightley will star in a sci-fi thriller called Never Let Me Go, which invloves a boarding school and clones. [Variety]
• Julia Stiles is extremely interested in school reform; she feels that New York's public schools failed her. She is now email buddies with the school chancellor, Joel Klein. [NY Magazine]
• Prince Harry's instructors are calling him an "instinctive pilot." That's good. [Telegraph]
• Carla Bruni did not get any nominations for the French version of the Grammys. A source says: "Buying a Carla CD became very uncool after she married Mr. Sarkozy, especially when she started dedicating her love songs to him." [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton's 28th birthday bash (is this her third one?) involved Paris pole dancing for her guests at the club inside of her mansion. She allegedly told people "you have to wear pink to get in," yet no one is wearing pink in these pix. [Daily Mail]
• The executive producers of The Sarah Silverman Program have threatened to quit after having their budget slashed. Sarah Silverman herself is one of those three producers. They used to get $1.1 million an episode; Comedy Central wanted to bring it down to $850,000 an episode. Tough times? [Reuters]
• Bruce Willis is being sued for breach of contract; he allegedly quit a project he was directing without notice. [AP]
• Tennis champ Boris Becker got engaged on a German game show. [Reuters]
• Siegfried and Roy performed their final illusion Saturday night, appearing on stage with Montecore, the white tiger who mauled Roy Horn. If you missed it, catch it Friday in a one hour TV special on ABC's 20/20. [IHT]
• A crocodile park in South India is being sued by Steve Irwin's widow for using Steve's name and likeness in the park. [Hindustan Times]
• Blind item: "Which mega-star's reputation is being trashed by a tranny in Miami? The endowed lass is telling anyone who'll listen all about his embarrassing sexual positions." [Gatecrasher]
• "I love paint. I like watercolours. I like acrylic paint… a little bit. I like house paint. I like oil-based paint, and I love oil paint. I love the smell of turpentine and I like that world of oil paint very, very, very much." — David Lynch, who makes art instead of films now. [Guardian]
• "[As a child I loved] Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. And I was mad about Errol Flynn. I wasn't really interested in actresses. But strong women I always found interesting-Bette Davis and Katharine Hepburn. And I saw quite a lot of British movies: Celia Johnson and that wonderful Noël Coward movie Brief Encounter." — Angela Lansbury. [NY Magazine]
• "I can't control certain things about myself. I will spend my whole life worrying about my weight. Every day I live I am on a diet. It's like being an alcoholic. For ages you say you don't need help, and then eventually you get some, and then it becomes a way of life." Sarah Ferguson, who says she overate because she was always compared to Princess Diana. [Daily Mail]
• "They haven't called, they haven't written. I keep hearing they're developing one but I don't know whether I'm going to be in it... but they keep doing (fan) polls, and I keep winning them." — Tom Selleck, on the film version of Magnum P.I. [Daily Express]
• "I was never starstruck (by him). I have not seen Star Wars, isn't that amazing... I'm sure it is (good). It's weird that I haven't seen it. We lived in a small town and the movie theatre was an hour away. And I was 12 - the perfect age to see it." — Calista Flockhart on beau Harrison Ford. [Daily Express]
• "In the past my brain would never stop. Now I'm a father the world no longer revolves around me. When I'm with Bronx, he's got my complete attention. He's the only thing that occupies my thoughts. It fascinates me to speculate on what he's thinking and feeling at any given moment. I also love to speculate about what kind of man he's going to become. He could be another Neil Armstrong or Christopher Columbus. Who is he going to fall in love with? What's his hair going to be like when he's 15? Then, while I'm fantasising about all this stuff, he'll go to put his hand in his mouth and end up smacking himself in the eye. He's the single greatest achievement of my life." — Pete Wentz. [Daily Mail]
• "I remember being twelve and thinking, I can't wait until I'm sixteen, because by then I'm going to have a car, a driver's license, a really cool boyfriend, and boobs. And now I'm eighteen, and I have none of those things. None! That was my twelve-year-old self's checklist, and nothing has been checked off." — Emma Roberts. [Teen Vogue]
• "Norah's hopeless, like a bull in a china shop. She has great potential, but she's stuck, despite yearning for more than her situation. She wants to know what happened in the past, and no one wants to talk about it. She's funny and heartbreaking, and I love her curiosity. I'm always drawn to people who are a little off the wall." — Emily Blunt on her character in new film Sunshine Cleaning. [NY Times]
• "If I had a fire in my house and could only save one item of clothing I'd never come outside. I'd burn. I don't have a favorite item as I appreciate each piece I own as a part of my wider collection." — Pharrell Williams. [Daily Mail]
• "No matter what I say, things will always be taken out of context and misinterpreted, will always be turned around to make it seem as though I won't let something go, or that I just keep talking about it over and over. I don't owe anybody anything. I don't owe anybody my side of the story. There are no sides! There is no bad guy and there is no good guy. There are no villains and there is no heroine in this story. It's just not the case." — Jennifer Aniston on breaking up with Brad. [Elle UK]
• "I know that if I eat nothing but burgers and chips, I'm not going to be hired for the parts I normally would. That might be fine one day, but not right now." — Jennifer Aniston. [Elle UK]
• "As a kid I sometimes went to work with my dad. He didn't want me to act but knew if he told me not to I'd be even more determined. He said that the rejection would rip my heart out, but I didn't believe it. I wanted to find out for myself. Starting out, my agent told me I wasn't being cast because I needed to lose weight. So I dropped 30lbs and landed Friends, only to find myself publicly chastised for being too skinny. I didn't know I was 'overweight' until someone told me. Even worse, I offended the entire Greek nation because I was quoted as saying I was not genetically thin, just Greek with big boobs and ass. I feel lucky to have them. All shapes and sizes are beautiful." — Jennifer Aniston. [Showbiz Spy]

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were wed yesterday in Santa Monica. The bride wore Dolce & Gabbana, and so did her three dogs. [Us Magazine]

• A source claims that often, and especially towards the end of the marriage, Guy Ritchie would call Madonna "It." As in "It's in a bad mood today." And "We can't make It angry." This paper has a helpful illustration of Cousin Itt wearing a pointy bra. [The Sun]
• Blake is no longer incarcerated! Amy Winehouse's husband got out of jail yesterday and says of the divorce: "It's all going ahead - but I don't really know what will happen." And! "It's just nice to be on the outside again. Now I am going to get over my drug habit." Amy, who is still in St. Lucia, may return to London to try and "save her marriage." Really? [The Sun]
• Will Chris Brown go to jail? Will the charges ever be filed? Is his crime a misdemeanor or a felony? So many questions, not enough answers. [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Hugh Jackman went out and did karaoke together in Tokyo. Ten bucks says they sang nothing but show tunes. [E!]
• Daniel Radcliffe took a "mystery brunette" out on a date and the paps were there to make things even more awkward! [Daily Mail]
• Remember how Jeremy Piven abruptly quit Speed-The Plow? A grievance hearing took place yesterday, but no agreement was reached. Will producers take it to court? [AP]
• Piven says he dropped out of the play after being examined by a "Harvard-educated cardiologist affiliated with Yale." So there. [TMZ]
• Piven cried twice during the 20 minute hearing and said he'd been "incredibly sick." [NY Times]
• Producers failed to prove that Piven should not have dropped out of the play. [People]
• Initiation ceremonies require Princes William and Harry to drink through a straw from a toilet filled with beer and strip naked to run the length of the runway at the Royal Air Force base in Lincolnshire. This is how you "earn your drinking wings" or something. [The Sun]
• So you know the little girl who played Latika in Slumdog? Rubina Ali? Her parents had to be pulled apart after brawling with each other at her homecoming yesterday. A neighbor says: "They were hitting each other and tearing each other's clothes off." Apparently her mom walked out when Rubina was four, leaving her father to care for her, and her father called the mom a "money grabber." Countered the mother: "I'm not here for money, I just want to celebrate the success." [The Sun]
• Crap: Azharuddin Mohammed, the ten-year-old boy who played young Salim in Slumdog was beaten by his father yesterday. He was tired from his flight from L.A. and refused his father's request to leave their shack and face the media; his father started hitting him. There's a picture of the kid crying. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Jewel hurt her knees while rehearsing, producers are "desperate" to keep her on Dancing With The Stars. [MSNBC]
• Early word is that Lil' Kim is the one to beat on Dancing With The Stars. Can't wait to see her costumes! [People]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay $40,000 a month in child support to Kimora Lee Simmons. She has sole custody of their 2 daughters. And now: Gobs of cash. [AP]
• Loving, loving Beyoncé's hair on the April 2009 cover of Ebony! [The Life Files]
• LOL: please just look at the expression on his face in these high school yearbook pictures of Will Ferrell! [TMZ]
• Jodie Foster was caught speeding, and it was caught on tape, but the footage won't be shown. Apparently she got "annoyed," "angry" and "agitated" with the cops. [Page Six]
• Critics are praising U2's new album even as they critique Bono. Writes Washington Post's J. Freedom du Lac: "It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear U2's music without filtering it through your feelings about the other Bono, that strident, sanctimonious swirl of idealism, agenda and ego." [Reuters]
• If you're interested in the 1996 audition that changed Edward Norton's life, click the link at the end of this sentence. [ET]
• This is interesting: A film version of the musical Damn Yankees will star Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal. Who will play Lola? You know that whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Variety]
• Not sure why this behind the scenes video of Mischa Barton at a photoshoot is so dull, maybe because she has the same blank expression in every scene. [BlackBook]
• No idea what Woody Allen's new flick is about, but the cast is intriguing: Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pink. Dolly Parton. Rocking chairs. For sale! [USA Today]
• The conflict between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards has died down. So says Charlie's younger brother Ramon Estevez, whom I did not know existed. [E!]
• George Lucas will produce his first film, post-Star Wars. It's based on the famed Tuskegee Airmen. [Fox 411]
• The Coen brothers have a new film, and it's a short, fake commercial slamming the coal industry. [Guardian]
• MC Hammer's new TV show, Hammertime, will give viewers a glimpse of his life as "as a businessman, computer geek, proud father and husband." No word on whether he is too legit to quit. [AP]
• Jermaine Jackson is working on getting custody of his sons after one told a teacher that his mother had been slapping him repeatedly across the face. [RadarOnline]
• This didn't get a lot of press, but people in wheelchairs protested the Academy giving Jerry Lewis a humanitarian award at the Oscars because they object to the way he talks about "the cripples." Producers actually tried to make sure the foreign press wouldn't write about the incident. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart will get a lifetime achievement award from songwriter's group ASCAP. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman was given a posthumous honour by the US Congress on Tuedsay. [Reuters]
• Be honest: How do we feel about the fact that Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic? [Guardian]
• Blind item! "Which angry comic had a few cast and crew members fired from his hit show - all because they overshadowed him?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I think that what I'm getting to explore is really the heart of a woman. And I can't say that about everything that I've done. Or maybe I've explored the heart of a woman, but it's been like skating on ice. You know, often you don't get to swim in it. It's an in-depth exploration, and kind of a close-up look at a woman, at all the different ways that she… I think in a way it's about love. You know? It's about love… all the different ways that she loves and whether those loves are acceptable or not." — Holly Hunter, on Saving Grace. [The Daily Beast]
• "I know that Ben Stiller for example, he watches American Idol and he'll email me: 'Hey, who got kicked off?' you know, the night it's on. I'm like, dude — I can't tell you, sorry, you're gonna have to watch. Coming up tonight on prime time!" — Ryan Seacrest, on Idol's celeb fans. [Mirror]
• "It's particularly distressing to me to observe that we're fine with these young women, who it normally is, who are chased, stalked, put under siege by battalions of strange men who sleep in their car and follow them and take pictures up their skirts, and when they throw the dummy out or whatever, everyone thinks they've gone mad. I would defy anyone not to be affected by what is, I think, harassment really. I just think it's slightly below a moral code that I have as a man or as a human being. To chase people, it just seems very bestial." — Rupert Friend, aka Keira Knightley's hottie boyfriend, who is in two films of his own this spring. [Independent]
• "I did not kiss her. She kissed me. We had fun." — Teri Hatcher, on her on-screen smooch with Eva Longoria Parker for Desperate Housewives. [Mirror]
• "At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I'd forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed." — Jeremy Piven. [NY Times]
• "Ty said he thinks his best chance of beating me is if I get pregnant during the show so I would be too tired to dance. Talk about a strategy! Of course, that would be fine with me if it did happen, so either way would be a win!" — Jewel, on competing against her husband, Ty Murray on Dancng With The Stars. [People]
• "We pay millions and millions of dollars in tax. The thing that stung us [about the criticism] was the accusation of hypocrisy for my work as an activist. I can understand how people outside the country wouldn't understand how Ireland got to its prosperity but everybody in Ireland knows that there are some very clever people in the Government and in the Revenue who created a financial architecture that prospered the entire nation – it was a way of attracting people to this country who wouldn't normally do business here. And the financial services brought billions of dollars every year directly to the exchequer. What's actually hypocritical is the idea that then you couldn't use a financial services centre in Holland. The real question people need to ask about Ireland's tax policy is: ‘Was the nation a net gain benefactor?' And of course it was – hugely so." — Bono, on the criticism of U2 moving part of its business to the Netherlands to lessen its tax burden. [Irish Times]
• "If you get knocked down, setbacks in life, like applying for a job if they don't hire you, keep trying, keep getting up, keep doing it. Don't give up, that's what it's about. I'm so tough and so bad, I can be humble and lift another guy up." — Mr. T, giving advice to the unemployed. [Mirror]
• "'Brown Eyed Girl' I didn't perform for a long time because for me it was like a throwaway song. I've got about 300 other songs I think are better than that." — from 10 questions with Van Morrison. [Time]
• "Hmm, [how to add] a sexy sizzle to your look? Well high heels are probably the easiest thing, I would say. Instant glamour. Walking around in them naked, you don't need anything else really." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]
• "I hope it won't change anything in how other directors and actors work with me. I mean, the Oscar's going in the loo, next to Sam's. I'm not taking it on a set. I'm just going to work the way I've always worked, which is just to get on with it." — Kate Winslet on her Academy Award. [Daily Mail]

• Jennifer Aniston on John Mayer: "He's a rare one. He is extraordinary and it is wonderful to watch him... the way his brain works and the way he thinks thoughts... it's beautiful." Is this the same John Mayer we know? [Mirror, The Sun]
• Remember how Jennifer Aniston had dinner with Gerard Butler? They're in negotiations to star in an "untitled bounty hunter project" from Columbia pictures. [Variety]
• While the world crumbles all around us, Katie Holmes has helped the Broadway show All My Sons turn a profit. She's box-office gold! Says a source: "Of course, it's not just her, it's [costars] John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest, but no one will say that." [E!]
• Oh, dear: Blake Fielder Civil gave Amy Winehouse drugs when he visited her in the hospital. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says: "We're so happy he's back in jail. We hope he's in there for a long time. We're all so furious with Blake for what he's done to Amy." [Mirror]
• What's this? Amy is working on a new album? And using her lyrics to trash her "junkie jailbird hubby"? This could be good. [Mirror]

• Jessica Biel plays a stripper in a flick called Powder Blue and really, uh, commits. Click to see video of homegirl working the pole in a strappy leather getup. Also, this movie looks like it will break your heart. [ONTD]
• Mariah Carey was seen leaving the gynecologist's office in L.A., so she must be knocked up. [Mirror]
• PETA is pissed again, this time because Britney Spears used cruelly trained lions and elephants in her "Circus" video. [PETA]
• Hmm, Britney is requiring all of her backup dancers take drug tests? In an effort to keep her away from negative influences? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jay Leno is getting a prime time show on NBC, at 10 o'clock. It won't be the Tonight Show, because that will still come on at 11:35, and the new host will be Conan O'Brien. But Leno's new show may have some elements of the Tonight Show, like "Jay Walking" and the monologue. So how will it be different? We'll have to wait and see. [NY Times]
• This was in Midweek Madness but here it is again: Tom Brady and Gisele are planning a wedding in Costa Rica. And Kate Moss is pregnant. Congrats all around? [NY Mag]
• Kate Moss is supposedly making a "big" announcement next week. [The Sun]
• Nicole Kidman is no longer the highest paid actress in Hollywood, probably because her films never made that much. Writes Hadley Freedman: "This is known as Aniston's Law: just because an actress makes for an appealing magazine cover does not mean that people want to see them act." [Guardian]
• Double divorces in the Ritchie family: Guy's brother is splitting from his wife; she claims he "fell into a spiral of heavy drinking brought on by his champagne lifestyle." [Daily Mail]
• Even though Madonna won a judgment against The Mail on Sunday for publishing wedding photos, the battle isn't over: The pix were stolen from her Beverly Hills home by an interior decorator and were also published in OK! magazine. OK! printed a retraction which read: "It has since come to our attention that the individual who supplied the photographs to us had no right to do so and the photographs were not authorized for publication." But that might not be good enough; Madge might sue. [MSNBC]
• Lost's Josh Holloway, aka Sawyer, is gonna be a dad: His wife, Yessica is expecting her first child. That's a good lookin' couple right there, expect a cute cute kid! [People]
• Anne Hathaway auctioned herself off for charity: "I will take you and a friend somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally shit faced," she said. The money raised from the event went to the Trevor Project, which operates a crisis suicide prevention line for LGBT youth. Anne went for $12,000 and was totally shocked. "I could not get a date for the prom," she claimed. Click for video! [E!]
• Whoa, Oprah is still seeing that Stedman dude? She says, "I happen to be with a man who has always appreciated the fact that I was...considered a powerful person, and gives me the space to be that." So much space we like, never see him? [E!]
• In case you were wondering, Oprah weighs 200 pounds and has "fallen off the wagon." She says: "I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed." [AP, WWD]
• The man and woman considered "persons of interest" in the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother have turned themselves in to cops. [ET]
• This just in: Mark Ruffalo's brother, Scott, has died. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus's new video involves the teen dream being chased by paparazzi, a totally new and never before explored concept. [Perez Hilton]
• By the by, Miley Cyrus says: "It's important at Christmastime to be daring – to put your cell phone and your computer away and actually be with your family and not just be worrying about other things that you can deal with every other day." [People]
• Ben Affleck will direct a film about the Arizona Project, the tale of a murdered reporter investigating political corruption. [Hollywood Reporter]
• The real Aaron Rose thinks the Gossip Girl Aaron Rose sucks. "I wish they would have made him cooler." [NY Post]
• New Lost video! Secrets about Ben Linus revealed! [E!]
• Despite what you may have heard, 90210's Brenda Walsh is not going to die! "They're not killing off her character," says Shenae Grimes, who plays Annie. But is it all a ruse? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Yes, yes, we know: There's a Cosby Show-inspired porn flick in the works, which a tipster called "The Fuxtables." [Comedy Central]
• Cate Blanchett got a letter from fans in Australia who'd had their farm repossessed. "The woman from the bank, who had repossessed the farm was called Caitlin Blankett. The man had written to me saying would I please change my name because every time his wife sees my films she bursts into tears." Cate is considering a new moniker: "I quite like the name Ethel." [Daily Express]
• Robert De Niro cried when Barack Obama won. [Daily Express]
• Debra Messing plays the career-driven wife of John Leguizamo in the new film Nothing Like The Holidays: "I'd never been an outsider in a film," Messing says. "I very much felt like the white Jewish girl and it was the first time I had ever been the minority on the set." [Reuters]
• Click to see a trailer of Benicio Del Toro in Che! [Telegraph]
• Kylie Minogue "snubbed" a personal invitation from David Bekham to watch him play football - -and went to an Alicia Keys show instead. Did she make the right choice? [The Sun]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Brooke Burke is signing 1,000 holiday cards to send to overseas troops who can't be home for the holidays. She'll also send pictures of herself wearing military fatigues. What's next? "I don't know!" she says. "I'd really love to work on a sitcom." [USA Today]
• American Idol winner Fantasia: Losing her home due to foreclosure. [Perez Hilton]
• Can you picture Keanu Reeves as a samurai? He'll star in 47 Ronin, an epic period film based on the true tale of a band of swordsmen who avenged the death of their master in 18th century Japan. [Variety]
• The 1998 film Out Of Sight, starring Jennifer Lopez and George Clooney, was named the "Sexiest Film Of All Time" in an Entertainment Weekly poll. Do we agree? [Times Of India]
• Actor Stacy Keach talks about golf, playing Richard Nixon and doing cocaine. [Reuters]
• "I don't really have a vested interest in what they do career-wise, so long as it's neither destructive to their bodies nor illegal. And hopefully not destructive to other people's bodies either." — Jennifer Connelly, on her kids. [Guardian]
• "A lot of actors didn't do well in school… as I turned into an actor, I felt like learning was no longer a job. It was like a passion. I learnt a lot about Cuba, the Sixties, Latin American history. It doesn't matter which way you cut it, it's my roots." — Benicio Del Toro. [Telegraph]
• "I like doing things that are completely unpredictable. I like the idea of — not shocking people — but just throwing people off. Doing something that makes them go: 'Whoa, she did that next? Wow! I didn't think she was going to do that!' That makes me feel like I'm able to do something interesting." — Kate Winslet. [UPI]
• "I do sometimes wish that I could live with less attention but not being totally ignored by the world. It's very wearing to be a celebrity. I wonder if people are going to follow me or if someone is going to pop out of nowhere with a camera. I get very angry but I'm trying not to let it stop me from living. You're sort of straddling that fine line between being kind and courteous and everything that your mother raised you to be to strangers that come up and refuse to respect your privacy." — Michelle Williams. [Parade]

So instead of really focusing on the leaked video, Amy instead talked about how much she wants "lots of children," how Blake is her James Bond, how the new album will all be songs about that bozo, and about how he's gonna be the "best dad." Good Lord.

[London, April 30. Image via Splash.]

Earlier today: Amy Winehouse Carries Heels To Visit Blake Incarcerated

• Nicole Kidman was at the U.N. yesterday to urge governments to end violence against women around the globe. Such a worthy cause! (But is her face capable of emoting?) [E!]
  
• By the by, Nicole is looking waaay more pregnant. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  
• It's official: Beyoncé and Jay-Z filed their signed marriage license in Scarsdale, NY. The wedding date? April 4, duh. [People]
  
• "Amy Winehouse visits two pubs in London, tries to buy a kebab and is pissed because the shop is closed, smokes in a non-smoking store, steals a newspaper, arrives to her house at 4:00 AM, befriends 16 year-old girl, locks herself out and breaks in via the garage." [ONTD]
  
• Amy was smoking a "spliff" in a pub before all that started. Is a spliff in the UK the same thing it is in the US? [The Sun]
  
• Penguin publishing has offered Amy and Blake Incarcerated £1 million for a book about their stormy marriage. Raise your hand if you would read that. [The Sun]

• Hugh Jackman has given Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson his blessing. Not that they asked. But he is friends with X-Men costar Ryan. [People]
• Dita von Teese is the face — ambassador — of Cointreau. "I knew with [my] martini-glass act, I could eventually collaborate with a spirit brand but the opportunities that had come before just didn't seem like the right fit," she says. "And [Cointreau] is so historic and sophisticated and French." [W]
• Kathy Najimy? Seen dancing on a table at Butter? Kind of awesome. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars' Cheryl Burke and Gerard Butler are not dating, but they are neighbors. "He actually lives in my apartment building, and we've been friends for a few months," she claims. Hmm, is that a regular denial or a protest-too-much denial? It's so hard to tell. [People]
• Singer John Legend might be dating ET host Maria Menounos. She annoys me. [Page Six]
• Is Barbra Streisand avoiding the 60th anniversary celebration in Israel (where she was scheduled to appear) because President Bush is going to be there? [Page Six]
• "We were shooting in Harlem, a scene where I smash the windshield of the car belonging to Tina's ex-boyfriend, who just dissed her in the club. It was 2 a.m., and everyone got their lawn chairs out and were cheering me on. They were screaming, 'You can do it! C'mon, Amy, smash that windshield!' " — Amy Poehler on filming Baby Mama. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which A-list actor with a long-suffering wife is not only a serial philanderer (we knew that) but a major cokehead (that's news!)? He makes bathroom trips every five minutes at his favorite L.A. club and likes to have a young woman seated on his lap." [Gatecrasher]
• Richie Sambora plea bargained his DUI case. The charge was dismissed and the prosecutors did not file child endangerment charges, even though Sambora's 10-year-old daughter was in the car when he was stopped. Sambora will pay a fine and be on three years probation. [TMZ]
• Yankee Alex Rodriguez and his wife welcomed a second child Monday night in Miami. [People]
• Hot hottie Gary Dourdan of CSI and CSI: Miami's Khandi Alexander will both be leaving their shows. [Concrete Loop]
• Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe told an interviewer he was smitten with a woman he met at a party, though he didn't manage to get her name or number. Two Australian women have come forward, claiming to be the beautiful stranger in question. But! Radcliffe's rep says there was no girl, it was a joke. The rep should keep his mouth shut and let Dan go on a date. [Reuters]
• Kelly Brook and Billy Zane have broken up, not that you care. [Mirror]
• The bad buzz around Tom Cruise's Nazi movie, Valkyrie, continues. And, uh, the trailer — with its mix of British and American accents — and Tom, smiling with an eye patch on — is... Yeah. [NY Times]
• Eighty-two year old actress Patricia Neal, who starred in films like A Face in the Crowd, Hud and The Day the Earth Stood Still, will receive Lifetime Achievement Award from the Nashville Film Festival. [USA Today]
• Kelly Clarkson likes to walk around her house naked, even if her home is "filled with strangers for photo shoots or fittings." Since my clothes have been gone... I can breathe for the first time... [MSNBC]
• Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson: Secretly wed! [Page Six]