Many people believe that a day will come when all hell breaks loose and all civilization goes to shit—a veritable doomsday. But let's be real. That day comes every year, and it's called Black Friday. This silly trailer from Nacho Punch truly nails the psychological thriller that is shopping on Black Friday.
Fucking Black Friday, man. It's like a gremlin that we just kept feeding after midnight for fifty years straight and now here we are, being herded like cattle away from our family dinners and toward deals, deals, deals. Unsurprisingly, Lewis Black has some thoughts, which he shared with The Daily Show.
Amazon is aiming to stress everybody the absolute fuck out by starting its Black Friday sales an entire week before Black Friday. Beginning on November 21st, the largest internet company in America is counting down to Black Friday with a "Deals Week," proclaiming that: "It's never to early for a good deal."
Black Friday fucking sucks. It's bad enough that it attempts to commercialize a holiday meant to make people be thankful for what you already have, but now it's also begun to spill over into Thanksgiving Day itself, with many big box retailers now opening on Thursday and robbing their employees of time with their…
For years, Fox News has bleated about the "War on Christmas," suggesting the phrase "Happy Holidays" and some complaints about nativity scenes on public property amount to an all-out assault on a sacred tradition. Meanwhile, Christmas has overflowed its traditional borders, annexed Thanksgiving and begun laying siege…
The holiday retail wars are upon us! Macy's kicked off the melee by announcing they'd open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving; now Target says free shipping will be available for every damn thing on their website until December 20. Go right ahead and order that sack of Dove chocolates for your honeybun's stocking.
If you want to score some sick Black Friday deals, plan to push yourself back from the table, wipe the cranberry sauce from your chin and fight off your carb-induced lethargy before you even get a slice of pie, because retailers will be starting the commercial orgy earlier than ever.
On Thursday, Target announced that a credit and debit card security breach has affected more than 40 million of their customers. Online hackers broke into the retailer's database the day before Thanksgiving and squirreled around in there until Dec. 15, reports the New York Times. Then the retail giant's officials said…
Oh, pretty fucking crazy. As expected, consumers flocked to big box retailers to scoop up premium discounts on merchandise for holiday presents. Unfortunately, every year bad things tend to happen when you get thousands of people crowded into tiny spaces.
According to a Walmart press release, Thanksgiving was a day of record-breaking sales, sales that were "bigger, better, faster, cheaper and safer than ever."
There's something particularly awful about forcing your employees to work on Thanksgiving — a secular holiday that's all about being thankful for what you have — all so that other people can buy a whole bunch of shit that they probably don't need. And yet that's exactly what retailers across the country will be doing…
We're one step closer to the day when Thanksgiving seems but a quaint memory and/or fiction from a Norman Rockwell painting. CNBC reports that, with retailers moving Black Friday ever earlier, restaurants are also being roped into the Thursday-evening frenzy.
Long, long ago, in a time known as the '80s, Black Friday sales started on a day called "Friday," at an actual hour that an actual store might actually have been open—say, 8 or 9 or 10 am. Over the years, the kick-off hours have been slowly rolling back—to 3 am, 4 am, midnight. And this year, stores such as Target,…
In this nation's continuing failure to heed the lessons of Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas, American retailers are planning on starting their Black Friday sales so early that their already put-upon employees will be forced to leave their family Thanksgiving celebrations so that they can tend to the…
Christmas is over! Now that all the joy (and pain) of spending hours on end with one's family and consuming ungodly amounts of food is wearing off, it's time to go back to thinking about the true meaning of the holiday season: stuff!
If you thought the tale of the California woman who pepper sprayed other Walmart shoppers during a Black Friday stampede was the most "only in America" story of the season, prepare yourself to feel a surge of patriotic pride. Now she's considering filing a lawsuit against the store. Authorities say 32-year-old…
It may not have involved pepper spray, but things still got plenty ugly at the Hollister store in New York City early Friday morning. The problem began when people lined up outside the store mistakenly thinking it was going to open at midnight for the chain's Black Friday sale. Only this particular store wasn't part…
Yesterday President Obama upped his nerdy dad cred considerably when he took Sasha and Malia shopping at a local independent bookstore. They visited Kramerbooks, which is just a few blocks from the White House, as part of small business Saturday, an effort to get people to shop at local businesses after the big box…
I had to run some post-Thanksgiving errands yesterday, aka Black Friday, the day we all must fear, the day on which we will all be trampled and punched in the face by everyone we come in contact with because we're all shopping for the exact same thing or something. I knew this. I just didn't care.
Joni Meyer-Crothers from TLC's Extreme Couponing has put together a 11-hour,13-person plot to go ballistic on J.C. Penney's, Target, Costco, and a bunch of other stores tonight. She'll start at midnight and wind things up at around 11 am tomorrow, and you know what? The stuff isn't going directly into her basement…
