1) I'm for sure the one who orgasms first in my relationship...but I feel fortunate that I'm "done" after 12 orgasms rather than one. I feel sorry for both of these ladies. Sex is something to be enjoyed, not stressed over.
2)Totally know the answer to that question!
I was Unblissed when I first started having sex (frosh year of college with steady boyfriend.) I was so trained by porn that I was only into it for the performative aspect - arching my back and moaning and stuff, just to get him off. I knew it was fucked up but all my self worth depended on being sexually desired by him. I think to some extent you grow out of that and learn Cosmo isn't the sex bible you thought it was. Women are taught that our self worth is almost completely correlated with how sexy we are, so its not an easy mind-set to reverse. I'm still working on it.
Oh wow. The One-Minute Woman sounds exactly like my friend. I first found out she was like this when she and her new boyfriend started arguing about it, in front of me, at a party...so, so awkward.
At first it does sound like a blessing; I've heard a ton of women wish they could come during penetration; but after reading her letter I can see why it bothers her. It's like my friend...she was embarrassed about it and she knew her bf wasn't content to jerk it every time to get HIS happy ending.
@Bella_vina: Haha yeah. At least they were kind enough to do it at a place where drinking was the main point. I'm like..."I'm going to need more of this."
I feel really terrible for unblissed, but it sounds like she needs more then sex advice. I doubt its only her sex life that is so other focused. I think counselling would probably be a good idea.
Unblissed: I agree that you should do yourself a huge favor and eventually figure out what gets you off...
That said, if what gets you off is making them cum until they positively beg for mercy and follow you around the block for weeks afterwards....I say more power to you. Don't judge yourself for what you desire sexually (and it's not uncommon for "brainy" girls to be driven by a desire for competition, mastery and/or prestige).
You're young. As long as you're enjoying something about it go ahead and do what comes naturally and don't over-analyze it. Eventually you'll learn to appreciate all the finer nuances.
P.S. - Don't hog all the glory...men like to feel useful :)
Saying to seek pleasure rather than orgasm-- yay! But saying the orgasm will simply show up? Boooo. There are, as many people like to discuss, women who really enjoy sex, and yet don't have an orgasm that just shows up.
Oh wow. I've actually never heard anyone else voice the female pre-ejaculation problem before! My bf likes it, but I prefer it on the rare occasion when it takes longer. Longer being what, five minutes? It is a mysterious thing.
I sympathize with One-Minute Woman, although I don't usually feel "done." I might need to slow down a little, but it can build up again soon after that.
My only added advice would be to avoid doing what gets you off until later in the session. There's a certain position that makes me orgasm very quickly every time. So, if I need to prolong it we just switch positions or speed or depth.
I feel like that when I finally do have sex, I'm going to be another One-Minute Woman. I can orgasm every time I masturbate and I have to hold myself back to make the whole experience last. I'm actually pretty scared of how I'd actually be with a dude in the mix.
@LuvEwan: I can tell you that sometimes a dude is a hindrance. He won't know (especially at first) what you like, so if you're lucky he'll try and guess and mess around down there. If you're not lucky, he won't even realize that he should be doing something else. The trick is time. Lots and lots of time. Also, publicly buying a copy of "She Comes First" while he hides in an aisle and complains helps.
@LuvEwan: I'd have to echo Zombie here, the man is actually a hindrance in this area some times. I actually had a conversation with a good friend (who works in a sex toy boutique) who is a lesbian and she was saying how many of her straight female friends talk about having a hard time orgasming, but all her gay female friends have no problem because they are not working with an actual penis attached to a man. To add a personal anecdote, I can finish everytime with myself, I've only found one man who could do it for me in 10 years! I'm not saying this to let you down, but just to let you know!
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2)Totally know the answer to that question!
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At first it does sound like a blessing; I've heard a ton of women wish they could come during penetration; but after reading her letter I can see why it bothers her. It's like my friend...she was embarrassed about it and she knew her bf wasn't content to jerk it every time to get HIS happy ending.
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Yes, I am a 12 year old boy.
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That said, if what gets you off is making them cum until they positively beg for mercy and follow you around the block for weeks afterwards....I say more power to you. Don't judge yourself for what you desire sexually (and it's not uncommon for "brainy" girls to be driven by a desire for competition, mastery and/or prestige).
You're young. As long as you're enjoying something about it go ahead and do what comes naturally and don't over-analyze it. Eventually you'll learn to appreciate all the finer nuances.
P.S. - Don't hog all the glory...men like to feel useful :)
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My only added advice would be to avoid doing what gets you off until later in the session. There's a certain position that makes me orgasm very quickly every time. So, if I need to prolong it we just switch positions or speed or depth.
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And yes, you can sell clothes for less than $10 and make a profit without using sweatshops!