New York Proposes Eliminating All the Shitty State Swans

The State of New York might launch a huge offensive against a nasty invasive species that tears up underwater vegetation, threatens passenger jets, and (occasionally) attacks people with the raw, avian vindictiveness of an avenging archangel. Unfortunately for the State of New York and its beleaguered PR interns, that… » 2/02/14 12:30pm 2/02/14 12:30pm

Bloodthirsty Housecat Attacks Televised Birds

By now, we all probably know that cats are murdering psychopaths bent on torturing all manner of small rodents, insects, and birds to death. Therefore, faced with an absence of innocent souls to send off to hell, cats will live out their blood fantasies through television. This cat in particular was observed attacking … » 8/04/13 2:30pm 8/04/13 2:30pm

Dinosaurs Probably Shook Their Tail Feathers Like Peacocks When They…

Unfortunately for your wild childhood imagination, paleontologists recently decided that all dinosaurs probably had feathers to help insulate them during the holidays much the same way we hairless mammals use hideous sweaters to keep our nipsies from falling off like scabs in cold weather. A new chain of fossil… » 1/04/13 2:00pm 1/04/13 2:00pm

In Breaking Booze News, Birds Are Totally Down to Party

Birds, as you may or may not already be aware, love to party, and by "party" I of course mean eat fermented rowan berries until they die from alcohol poisoning. According to a Saturday report in the British Medical Journal's Veterinary Record, drunk birds react pretty much exactly as drunk people, if people had wings and … » 11/04/12 4:01pm 11/04/12 4:01pm

More Research on Gender Vision Finds That Men See in Shades of Car and …

Yet more research about how men and women see the world in different shades of gender conditioning suggest that men are better at identifying cars and women are better at identifying creatures in the natural world, like birds, because every man is an oil-splattered monkey wrench and every woman is a fairy princess… » 9/17/12 11:55pm 9/17/12 11:55pm

Researchers Discover that Insomniac Birds Are the Sexiest Birds

Sleep, in case you don't get a lot of it and instead rely on the sadist you innocently call "caffeine," is really important and losing only a few hours of it each night can adversely affect most animals' ability to perform waking functions, like remembering to refill a subway card before swiping it so you don't hold up a … » 8/09/12 11:55pm 8/09/12 11:55pm

Baby Spoon-Billed Sandpipers Are a Spoonful of Cute

Here's a video of some adorable Spoon-billed Sandpiper chicks recently hatched at the Wildfowl & Wetlands Trust Slimbridge Wetland Centre in Gloucestershire, UK. The chicks are a part of a conservation breeding mission designed to keep the Spoon-billed Sandpiper from immediate extinction. This particular group of… » 7/17/12 7:45pm 7/17/12 7:45pm

Newt Gingrich Bitten by Penguin Egged on by the Liberal Media

I'm just going to cut to the chase here: on Friday, Newt Gingrich's hand required bandaging after it was injured by an angry penguin. And just for fun, let's see that sentence again: On Friday, Newt Gingrich's hand required bandaging after it was injured by an angry penguin. Rumor has it, that penguin is now on Mitt… » 4/16/12 7:00pm 4/16/12 7:00pm