Pervert Birds Steal Swimmers' Underwear to Build Nest Of Filth and Sin

If you ever thought that birds could be trusted, you need to think again. While it’s long been known that birds are brazen perverts who will line their nests with any number of sexual objects, some Scottish birds have gone far too far—they’ve stolen the underwear from some innocent skinny-dippers just trying to… »7/06/15 3:45pm7/06/15 3:45pm

Audubon Society Slams 'Sad Ravings' of 'Consumerist' Jonathan Franzen

When he isn’t sharing his thoughts about the Internet with the Internet, bestselling author Jonathan Franzen is a birder. He recently wrote a long essay speculating that the looming threat of global climate change is encouraging us to abandon more concrete (but smaller-scale) bird-related conservation efforts. He… »4/03/15 1:50pm4/03/15 1:50pm

New York Proposes Eliminating All the Shitty State Swans

The State of New York might launch a huge offensive against a nasty invasive species that tears up underwater vegetation, threatens passenger jets, and (occasionally) attacks people with the raw, avian vindictiveness of an avenging archangel. Unfortunately for the State of New York and its beleaguered PR interns, that… »2/02/14 12:30pm2/02/14 12:30pm

Dinosaurs Probably Shook Their Tail Feathers Like Peacocks When They Were Feeling Sexy

Unfortunately for your wild childhood imagination, paleontologists recently decided that all dinosaurs probably had feathers to help insulate them during the holidays much the same way we hairless mammals use hideous sweaters to keep our nipsies from falling off like scabs in cold weather. A new chain of fossil… »1/04/13 2:00pm1/04/13 2:00pm

More Research on Gender Vision Finds That Men See in Shades of Car and Women See in Shades of Bird

Yet more research about how men and women see the world in different shades of gender conditioning suggest that men are better at identifying cars and women are better at identifying creatures in the natural world, like birds, because every man is an oil-splattered monkey wrench and every woman is a fairy princess… »9/17/12 11:55pm9/17/12 11:55pm