'Massive Tool' Carson Daly Joins Today Show

Carson Daly, massive tool, has joined The Today Show, ringing in a self-proclaimed "new era" of the program. He will enroll alongside the other mutants in the X-Academy: Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker, Natalie Morales, Hoda Kotb, Willie Geist and Kathie Lee Gifford. While we plebs associate Daly with…