• Though "sources" recently claimed Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal had broken up, an insider now says, "Jake is planning to pop the question over the holidays and couldn't be more excited."

The source continues, "Her children love him, his family loves her and now it's time to make it official... Reese is a traditional sort of lady, which is one of the many things Jake adores about her, and Christmas is her favorite holiday." [Popeater]

• Break out the champagne: A Maryland Judge granted TLC's request for a preliminary injunction against Jon Gosselin this afternoon, so Jon must stop making media appearances that violate his contract with the network. Jon skipped the hearing and his lawyers didn't present any evidence. A trial is scheduled for April 19. [AP]
• Here's what Jon missed: TLC's lawyer said by the end of Jon and Kate Plus 8, the network was paying the family $22,500 per episode, not $75,000 as Jon has claimed. The network's reps also offered a run down of every embarrassing thing Jon did in the past few months that "made the show look bad," explaining, "photos of Jon Gosselin with scores of bikini-clad women was inconsistent with our image brand of our show." [Radar Online]
• In other news, sources say the Gosselin kids no longer believe in Santa. [Us]
• Rachel Uchitel's friend Ashley Sampson was the first person to give an on-the-record interview about Tiger Woods cheating. Rachel tried to cover up their affair by saying she barely knew Ashley and calling her a drug abuser, and now she may sue Rachel for defamation. "Ashley told the truth and Rachel trashed her and lied," said a source. "That made Ashley furious." [Radar Online]
• It appears Rachel Uchitel is moving. She was spotted lugging suitcases and picking up a ton of dog food. [TMZ]
• Jamie Jungers, another woman linked to Tiger Woods, will tell her story on Today, then sell it to a magazine. There's a rumor going around that Tiger paid for her liposuction, but her rep denies it. [Radar Online]
• In an interview with Extra, Jaimee Grubbs said she's "deeply sorry" for having an affair with Tiger Woods. "I couldn't describe how remorseful that I am to have hurt her family and her emotionally... [but] if it wasn't me, it was going to be other girls. I did care about him. I didn't do it for superficial reasons. I didn't do it to purposely hurt [Elin]," said Grubbs. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' mom Kultida Woods flew from L.A. to Atlanta today. [Radar Online]
• Poor Tiger: The scandal has forced him to cover up the name on his yacht. [Radar Online]
• If you're keeping track, the following stars still support Tiger Woods: Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, and Wylef Jean. Diddy says: "Ye without sin cast the 1st stone!!!! Put down your rocks sinners!!!!! Tiger keep your head up! God bless your fam Black man!" [Us]
• You can start holding your breath: Kourtney Kardashian's baby is expected "any minute," according to Khloe Kardashian. [Radar Online]
• The mother of Lamar Odom's two children ripped apart a recent story from Life & Style about Khloe Kardashian bonding with the kids. "My daughter met Khloe for about 10-15 minutes... I don't think a 15 minute meet and greet with a child can be defined as a bonding experience for anyone," said Liza Morales. Though the article claimed Khloe hadn't met Lamar Jr. because he was "too young to travel," Morales says, "The truth is my 8-year-old son told me he didn't want to meet her at that time." [Radar Online]
• Gisele Bunchen's mom and aunt visited her and Tom Brady in Boston for the birth of their child. Her aunt says: "He's a beautiful, healthy boy." Gisele's dad, who stayed in Brazil, says, "We don't know the name yet. I don't have all the details. But obviously when someone is born into the family, it makes us all happy." [People]
• At a press conference today Tom Brady called his son's birth "a wonderful experience in my life," and said they still haven't picked out a name. [Us]
• Shawne Merriman is suing Tila Tequila because he says she lied about claims that he "choked and attacked" her. But rather than suing her for defamation, he's going after her for intentional interference with contract and unfair competition because he says she was trying to ruin his career. [TMZ]
• Courtenay Semel thinks Tila Tequila's engagement to Casey Johnson is a stunt. "We're talking about the biggest fame whore in LA, and the other one — I think she's just lost her mind!" said Semel. [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Taylor Swift straightened her hair. [People]
• Richard Heene, Mark Sanford, Jon Gosselin and Glenn Beck made FAIL Blog's list of 2009's biggest losers, and Imma let them finish, but KANYE WEST WAS VOTED THE TOP FAIL PERSON OF THE YEAR! [People]
• Alicia Keys says of Beyonce, who recorded a duet with Keys for her new album, "Her and I together was like reunited sisters - most people get in the studio and don't get a chance to really collaborate, be in one room, we were in one room having a ball." [The Mirror]
• Several bouncers at Jay-Z's 40/40 Club in Atlantic City have been fired after video surfaced of them beating two men in the club's parking lot last month. [TMZ]
• A source says of Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan, "They are getting to know each other... He's a nice guy." [Extra]
• Chris Brown called in to a Seattle radio station to promote his new album, but when the DJ asked about Rihanna, Chris said, "I'm really done talking about the whole situation ... I'm just moving forward." The DJ replied: "Fuck that, did Rihanna throw you under the bus or what?" And Chris' handlers hung up. [TMZ]
• Though there is no official Susan Boyle merchandise, there is an estimated £5 million a year market for Boyle-themed merchandise. [Blackbook Magazine]
• Pamela Anderson is doing a two week stint as the Genie of the Lamp in a London performance of Aladdin, but she cancelled her two premiere performances due to unspecified "issues." [Daily Express]
• Pamela Bach has been charged with DUI for failing a breathalyzer test on November 28. Since she has a prior DUI from earlier this year, she'll do a minimum of five days in jail if convicted. [TMZ]
• Axl Rose missed a soundcheck last night in Taiwan for an upcoming Guns n' Roses concert. It may be because he got into a fight with a paparazzo at LAX that "ended up with a few bloodied participants." [Rolling Stone]
• James Caan's wife Linda Cann is requesting full custody of their two minor children in their divorce. [TMZ]
• In Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People" special last night, Lady Gaga was shown kissing a woman, but Adam Lambert kissing a dude at the AMAs was edited out. An ABC rep says: "It was an editorial decision to show very little from the performance and focus on the fresh, new interview with Adam Lambert," though much of the interview was about the kiss. He continued: "The Lady Gaga kiss was used quickly in context of things that upset her father." [TMZ]
• The Lilith Fair is coming back this summer and the lineup includes Mary J. Blige, Sarah McLachlan, and Sheryl Crow. Check out the full list here: [Perez Hilton]
• Amanda Peet announced she and her husband David Benioff are expecting their second child. [Perez Hilton]
• James Van Der Beek is dating model Kimberly Brook. [People]
• Miley Cyrus' song "The Climb," which was featured in Hannah Montana: The Movie was replaced in the Grammy nominations for best song written for a soundtrack by "All Is Love," which Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs wrote for Where The Wild Things Are. Miley's people say the song was submitted in that category by mistake, but the Grammy organization didn't offer any explanation. [People]
• Spike Jonze says he and Dave Eggers didn't speak to any children before writing the screenplay for Where The Wild Things Are. "I think it's interesting because not having children - Dave and I didn't have children at the time - we wrote it from our memories of childhood as opposed to our experiences as a parent observing a kid," he said. [The Independent]
• Jenifer Lewis didn't exactly crash President Obama's inauguration, but she did manage to trick security. Her seat was far from center stage, "So I went over to a Marine, and I told a fib and said that I left my credentials on the plane. And he was standing there at attention with that beautiful uniform on. His head tilted just a little. He didn't want to break formation. And he said, 'Aunt Helen?' He happened to be a 'Fresh Prince' fanatic. And he proceeded to escort me 30 feet from the podium." [CBS News]
• "I've lived with people speculating about my health for decades, and I don't say this with sarcasm, but sadly, I've outlived so many who have prematurely buried me," says Elizabeth Taylor. "There are so many things in the world that are more important than my health watch." [USA Today]
• "I always felt like a very ordinary looking girl, and I found that dressing in a unique way made me feel less ordinary and more glamorous," says Dita Von Teese, adding, "I also used clothes as a way to counteract my extreme shyness when I was younger. I wore a lot of extravagant vintage hats, which can make people somewhat intimidated. I think people will only approach if they have something very, very interesting to say to the girl in the outrageous hat!" [People]
• Meryl Streep drank a martini at a party after a New York screening of It's Complicated "I had to," she said, "to get through this." Also, when someone yelled "It's hard to be Queen," at Meryl, she shot back, "I wouldn't want her problems, believe me!" [Showbiz 411]
• When he was in college, Eli Roth of Inglourious Basterds worked as a sex chat room operator, posing as a woman. "They hired guys because guys know what other guys want to hear," Roth said. "The creepy thing was, because this was in 1991, we only got doctors and scientists because they were the ones using the Internet." [BBC]
• Here are some words of wisdom by 50 Cent from Esquire's "What I've Learned" column: "Always have bail money," "Money is freedom. Money is a private plane. Money is no metal detection," and "Being shot defines how strong I am. It prepares you for the confusion of being an artist." [Esquire]

• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Another source says her posse isn't excited about her latest beau. "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'" [E!]
• Elin Nordegren's mother, Barbro Holmberg, was identified as the woman rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home this morning. She's at home now, resting comfortably. [Extra]
• TMZ obtained the dispatch notes from the 911 call from Tiger Woods' home today, which contain nothing interesting. [TMZ]
• According to a source at the hospital, Barbro Holmberg was suffering from stomach pains. [TNZ]
• Gatorade is shutting down production of Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade, but a rep insists, "We made the decision several months ago... our relationship with Tiger continues." [TMZ]
• Star claims Elin Nordegren confronted Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel twice before Thanksgiving. A friend of Rachel's says, "Rachel denied she had an affair with Tiger, and told her, ‘I've walked your husband to a table at [a NYC night club] Griffin, made sure everything was OK, and that's the extent of our relationship. It's ridiculous and crazy that people are saying that I slept with him.'" The second time she told Rachel, "I know everything," then threw her cell phone at Tiger. [Star]
• According to the dispatch log from Tiger Woods' SUV crash, Tiger's agent called the Florida Highway Patrol on the day after the accident to reschedule a meeting because, "He's still too sore from the accident." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think people expect me to do it, you know, it's just Dennis. But Tiger, that's a different story... People expect him to be this loving husband and this loving father, and this, you know, when you have that much money and that much power, of course all the hoodrats and everybody is just gonna come all out of the woodwork." [Ok]
• This article blames Alexa Ray Joel's alleged suicide attempt on her mother, Christie Brinkley. She had just come back from vacation with her mom and a source claims, "They have knock-down, drag-out fights regularly over issues relating to Billy Joel." A former family employee adds, "She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father's genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too." [NY Post]
• Showbiz 411 insists that the Post story isn't true and points to an upbeat postcard from Turks and Caicos as proof that "Alexa had a great family holiday." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex-husband, may be the source of the negative stories. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources say Mickey Rourke will marry his 24-year-old Russian girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in April. "They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," says a source. [Daily Express]
• Though Elton John and his partner David Furnish are not allowed to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian toddler because the country does not recognize gay unions, they are working to make sure the boy and his brother "have the best health care, education and family options available to them." [AP]
• Madonna said she wound up giving her daughter Lourdes a bigger role in her "Celebration" music video because, "She's been doing rhythmic gymnastics for years and she's very flexible, she's a great dancer... it was one of those fluke things. We didn't intend for her to be in the video. We did intend for her to be in the part where she dresses up for the costumes, that we planned, but the other one where she was just dancing with the dancers... she's very friendly with the dancers and they kind of dragged her into it and you know, it was just a small little piece. It's great, she's a show girl." [Daily Express]
• Madonna says she doesn't know if her kids would rather have a "normal life," and "Anyways they don't have a choice, they're stuck with the mother they have and I think they realise there are pluses and minuses to it. I think sometimes they'd like to walk down the street and just feel like normal kids and that happens, and other times, you know, they get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it and they're very grateful and appreciative for it." [Daily Express]
• Kate Gosselin says her kids are distraught over not being on TV anymore. Kate says: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' ...Eight sobbing kids driving home from school." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin spent more than three hours serving food at a Raleigh, North Carolina restaurant as cameras filmed her. Her bodyguard Steve Neild told reporters to leave and said she was shooting a test segment for a future program. [WRAL]
• Pauly Shore is suing his brother and accusing him of elder abuse. Pauly claims their mother has been "rendered susceptible to unscrupulous behavior and other undue influence because of her condition," and says his brother improperly removed him from the board of directors as The Comedy Store in Hollywood. [Radar Online]
• Bryant Gumbel has lung cancer and had a malignant tumor removed from his chest last month. "We had told a few people, we told my family, obviously. I even kept it from my staff at Real Sports. So I'm okay for the time being," he said. "I'm hoping they greenlight me to play golf again." [People]
• Though former Geffen Records executive John Kalodner says Lenny Kravitz should take over for Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Kravitz says, "As much as I am flattered that Aerosmith's camp would consider me to front the band, Steven Tyler is a family friend, and no voice could ever take the place of his. I hope the band stays together. They are classic." [Daily Express]
• David Guest just realized taking Michael Jackson's advice about cosmetic surgery was a bad idea. "I had surgery when I was very young and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Michael Jackson kept saying, 'You should have plastic surgery.' I got my nose done and he said, 'Do more, do more!' It was stupid," he said. "If I had my way, I'd go back to my original big nose with a bit of a hook in it. It looked great." [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal has been visiting Redmond O'Neal every week in rehab. "Redmond and Ryan are working on their relationship. Both of them are working towards a positive and healthy father and son relationship," says a source. [Radar Online]
• In the 911 call David Hasselhoff's daughter Hayley made on Thanksgiving weekend she says: "My dad just ... he's collapsed. He's standing up but he keeps falling back down ... But then he got back up and he's fine. It's kind of scaring me." [People]
• Nicole Kidman says she likes to focus on her health rather than how much she weighs. "As Keith's a musician there are pitstops at Wendy's" she says, "But I'm six-foot tall, so it's not weight that's an issue for me, but things like cholesterol." [People]
• In the 911 call made when Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack was taken to the hospital from LAX last month, the caller says he "stopped breathing" but they "revived him." [TMZ]
• Bob Geldof attacked the U.K. family court for conducting "state-sanctioned kidnap" by holding closed custody hearings, adding: "In the near future the family law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful; harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand says it was easy for him to win over Katy Perry's parents because, ''They love the old school Englishness. There's a thing where the mom said 'Nothing's impossible', and I went, 'well, of course, Nelson Mandela said that everything is impossible until it's done', and she went, 'Oh', and she really enjoyed that... Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought, 'well, this has got a huge scope for disaster' but it's actually been quite good so far." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Bobby, Speidi, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge will be back for The Hills sixth season according to an MTV spokesperson. [People]
• Mel Gibson's estranged wife Robyn Gibson has filed court papers requesting to see copies of his Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild health and pension plans. [Radar Online]
• Travis Barker has settled his lawsuit against defendants over the plane crash he was injured in. [TMZ]
• Celine Dion says she's going to keep trying IVF even though it turned out she wasn't pregnant this summer. "We have a wonderful child, we're extremely happy," she said. "It's not like, 'Oh my god, she's not pregnant and she's depressed,' " she continues. "You know how it works. We are great. We hope for the best, we hope to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens." [People]
• Shakira says she owes her success to her parents taking her to the park to show her kids worse off than her on the day they declared bankruptcy. "That day I made myself a promise," she said. "I promised that I would someday succeed to vindicate my parents' social and economic position. But I also wanted to do something about those kids I saw so abandoned by the state, abandoned to their own luck, without any chances to change their destinies." [CNN]
• When asked how she got into character as the grandmother of a dead girl in The Lovely Bones, Susan Sarandon said, "I drank and smoked and partied down. No, I didn't do that. I think I probably had the easiest job of anyone, because I was going against all the really difficult feelings and trying to keep everybody moving forward and remembering to live and letting the light in, literally. Plus, I was always drinking and smoking, so I have lots of props - so it was actually pretty fun." [NY Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver says of her new film Avatar, "You won't have seen anything like it. This film is going to change the way we look at movies. The whole movie is in 3-D, even normal scenes between two people. So you feel you're in the room with these characters. You're always in the best seat in the house." [The Telegraph]
• Of being called the "Bear Jew" in Inglourious Basterds, Eli Roth says, "Well it's funny because I've always been compared to some sort of animal. On Cabin Fever they called me hair director. On Hostel one of the Czech extras saw me in a tank top and casually referred to me as Gorilka" which is Slovak for gorilla. So from that point on, it was over. Everyone was always, "Where's Gorilka? We need Gorilka on set! There was a girl who nicknamed me wolfie, so I've always been compared to some sort of furry animal. So I just embraced it — and Bear Jew felt like the natural evolution." [N.Y. Post]
• Viggo Mortensen makes a good point about why we shouldn't underestimate Sarah Palin: "I think it would be unwise to dismiss her because she is foolish and misinformed. People say there's no way she will hold any significant office, in Congress, or as president. Don't be so sure. I notice she's starting to sound relatively eloquent in that superficial way she has: ‘We gotta cut taxes and we can't keep penalizing small business'-that same old litany. She's not saying anything significant but she's stringing the words together and she's not just saying, ‘Aw shucks, I just killed a moose in Alaska.' She's stringing the words together as well as George W. Bush did in the beginning... They realized they couldn't make [Bush] sound like somebody who actually read books and cared about how he sounded-even though he had the benefits of the best possible education. It just wasn't interesting to him to sound like he made sense and to speak English anywhere near well. But what they did, very cleverly, is say, OK, he's just like us. He makes mistakes when he says stuff; he's a regular guy. And I can see the same thing happening with Palin. So do not underestimate her ability. She's not going away." [The Daily Beast]

• According to Radar Online, Tiger Woods has agreed to pay alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel "more than one million but less than three million" to keep her from sharing the details of their relationship with the public. [RadarOnline]

• Yet the reported payoff might not be enough to stop the embarrassing tabloid stories from popping up: a friend of Uchitel is now claiming that Woods had dreams about Uchitel with other famous men, writing such things as "I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f—ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that." [USWeekly]
• Meanwhile, a fourth alleged mistress of Woods, a VIP cocktail waitress who claims she had an affair with Woods back in 2004, has "lawyered up." [TMZ]
• Amy Adams and her fiance, Darren Legallo, have announced that they are expecting their first child. Congrats! [People]
• Naomi Campbell has hired a bodyguard to accompany her in Miami due to an "aggressive female stalker" who has given her trouble in the past. [PageSix]
• Rihanna hit up a NYC club on Thursday night and preferred to party with her girlfriends: "Rihanna was having a great time," says a source, "She danced until 4 a.m. in a skintight dress. She drank champagne and vodka. While every guy in the room wanted to get to her, she only stuck with her girlfriends. They even went to the bathroom together. She insisted on arriving and leaving through the back door — alone." [PageSix]
• ABC has apparently forgiven Adam Lambert: he's been booked to perform on The View December 10. [TMZ]
• "Brad and I have three magnificent children and we look forward to raising them. We say we are going to be a family that lives in two different houses. There are challenges, but I think it will be a good year."-Jane Kaczmarek on her divorce from Bradley Whitford [People]
• Helen Mirren says that though things have improved for women in Hollywood since she started out, there's still quite a ways to go: "It has not gone nearly far enough... I want to see more women behind the camera," she noted while picking up her Women In Film lifetime achievement award, "We have great women working in this industry. Let's celebrate them with this award." [Mirror]
• "Opening that center is one of my greatest achievements because it's something I've always wanted to do for other women. It's part of the charitable organization I co-founded with Steve Stoute in 2008, Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now. Our initiative is to educate, encourage and empower women. Yonkers is where I grew up and saw women destroyed, both physically and mentally. So this center is beautiful for me because maybe those women's children or their children's children can go there and get help. I'm hoping to see FFAWN and Mary J. Blige Centers all over the world. Outside of music, that's probably the one thing to which I will devote a lot of my time."- Mary J. Blige, on opening the Mary J. Blige Center for Women [Reuters]
• Miley Cyrus was turned away at an over-21 club on Wednesday night because she's well, not over 21. [TMZ]
• A truck carrying roughly 50-75 dresses for Victoria Beckham's new fashion line, worth approximately £350,000, was robbed last night at knife-point in London. "This operation was meticulously planned. The thieves must feel they can make a fortune selling the collection on the black market," says a source, "Victoria was informed straight away about the incident and was shocked and deeply saddened, although her first priority was the well-being of the driver." The dresses were eventually supposed to be delivered to Neiman-Marcus in New York City.[DailyMail]
• Morgan Freeman, who began taking flying lessons in 2002 and now has a pilot's license, is going to christen his new private jet with a trip around the world. [DailyExpress]
• Jake Gyllenhaal's mother, screenwriter Naomi Foner, would really like to see him play Danny Kaye in a film. "(We'd watch) Five Pennies, The Court Jester and Hans Christian Anderson," Gyllenhaal says, "My mother was a big Danny Kaye fan and would always play me these movies. She is, in fact, the person who always calls me up and is like, 'You should redo The Court Jester!'" [DailyExpress]
• Katie Holmes eats french fries, world apparently stops turning. [DailyMail]
• "To me it's strange that, you know, my sister calls me a weirdo. I love my sister, we get along, but I'm the weirdo? I'm the one that's weird? You buy a magazine with pictures of celebrities' children in them so you can read about children in magazines, and I'm the fucking weirdo?"-Zach Galifianakis [Guardian]
• Sienna Miller and Jude Law were spotted leaving Law's apartment minutes apart last night, which means they may be back together. Alternately, it means absolutely nothing. [DailyMail]
• "Elton lives on that. He will not be happy until I bang on his door in the middle of the night saying, 'Please, please, help me, Elton. Take me to rehab.' It's not going to happen. Elton just needs to shut his mouth and get on with his own life. Look, if people choose to believe that I'm sitting here in my ivory tower, Howard Hughesing myself with long fingernails and loads of drugs, then I can't do anything about that, can I? People want to see me as tragic with all the cottaging and drug-taking... those things are not what most people aspire to, and I think it removes people's envy to see your weaknesses. I don't even see them as weaknesses any more. It's just who I am."-George Michael, on his drug use. [DailyMail]
• Michael Keaton says he has two of his Batsuits from his days playing Batman for Tim Burton, but he's afraid they might be falling apart: "One is in storage. Sometimes I think, I know I'm going to go there and rats will have eaten it and I am going to go 'No!'. They are going to be worth a lot of money." [DailyExpress]
• "Yeah, we were mates. God, that was so cool. It was the saving grace. Because it got a bit sticky after the Beatles. No, we were really good mates again - it was lovely, actually."- Paul McCartney, on his relationship with John Lennon before Lennon's death. [TimesOnline]
• Nicolas Cage was presented with the U.N. Correspondents Association's Global Citizen of the Year award last night and named a UN Goodwill Ambassador in honor of his commitment to humanitarian work. [Yahoo]
• Jessica Simpson has "completely fallen" for Billy Corgan and wants to "take things a lot further." In related news, my brain has just melted all over my keyboard and my copy of Siamese Dream just spontaneously combusted in the corner of the room. [JustJared]

• Indian police say they have not found any evidence to support allegations that Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali's dad tried to sell her. [The Guardian, People]

• Three-year-old Mercy James is currently under the care of a nanny provided by Madonna. The director of the orphanage where the girl was staying says, "As Mercy's legal guardian, I authorize where she goes. She is staying with Madonna's people as a visitor. There is nothing wrong with that." [The Daily Express]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, British singer Marilyn is confirming long-standing rumors that he had a relationship with Gavin Rossdale in the '90s. "We were together five years, but it felt like 40," said Marilyn. [Perez Hilton]
• Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles is responding to the alleged (and now debunked) recording of his daughter singing off-key on The Today Show saying, "If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing 'America the Beautiful' and 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce's vocal ability, they've gotta be an idiot. At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." [TMZ]
• Miss California Carrie Prejean's grandmother, Jeanette Coppola, says of Perez Hilton, "I don't know why that gay guy Perez was even judging a contest with a bunch of girls. That doesn't make any sense. He should be judging a Chippendale's contest." Perez responded: "Dear Jeanette, I was judging that contest because I am an American. I am a gay American. I am a Latino American. And I am an American who knows a thing or two about women in the spotlight." [The L.A. Times]
• Amy Winehouse's mother, Janis, says that Amy's ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil is trying to get a bigger divorce settlement. "It sounds like his hands are outstretched not only for him, but for this person he's made pregnant. To me it seems like a case of 'lets get our hands out for the money'," says Janis. [The Daily Express]
• Is it a coincidence that Audrey Tautou is starring in a new film about Coco Chanel and is also taking over for Nicole Kidman as spokeswoman for Chanel No. 5? [Yahoo]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger may have a cameo in Terminator Salvation. [CNN]
• John Mayer is dating model/aspiring actress Scheana Marie Jancan, who is 23. [Star]
• This week's SNL host Justin Timberlake says he loves the show so much, "I would go as far to say if I didn't have a career that I felt so extremely lucky to have, I would see if I could get cast on the show." [USA Today]
• Denise Richards made a video for FunnyOrDie about how much everyone loves her "fun bags." It's like the Lindsay Lohan FOD video, with an extra dash of desperation. [Funny Or Die]
• OMG, Twilight fans: Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson went to the grocery store and a fellow shopper says they were holding hands. [E!]
• Chris Cornell says he likes Twitter because, "It's actually created an environment where I can answer simple questions that someone's probably had forever. And I don't mind answering them. And I can actually have conversations with fans that are quick, but still more meaningful than the typical situations you're put into. I've really liked it." [CNN]
• Shots were fired at Duane Chapman, better known as Dog the Bounty Hunter and a bail bondsmen when they tried to apprehend a Colorado man charged with attempted murder. No one was injured. [AP]
• A literary agency is suing Prince because he allegedly backed out of a book deal at the last minute and went behind their backs with another agency. [TMZ]
• Vanessa Hudgens will star in the film Beastly, an update of Beauty and the Beast. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Officials in Urbana, Ill. have decided to honor film critic Roger Ebert by putting a bronze plaque on the sidewalk in front of his childhood home. [AP]
• The website TheDirty.com posted pictures of Real Housewives star Gretchen Rossi riding topless in the passenger seat of a car. Previously, they posted compromising bathroom pictures. Now she's getting the police involved. [TMZ]
• Simon Cowell may quit American Idol when his contract runs out next year to start a U.S. version of the U.K. show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Vivica A. Fox, host of The Cougar says she is currently single. "I am single right now," she says. "I am a different breed of chick. I like to go by the beat of my own drum. I haven't found a man that I want to answer to." [People]
• Salma Hayek and her husband François-Henri Pinault are holding a wedding celebration this weekend in Venice and guest including Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz have already arrived in Italy. [E!]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt says of dating co-star and long-time friend Jamie Kennedy, "I've heard about it – about being friends with somebody and it turns into something else and I've never really done that before and it's been great. He's hilarious and when you're with somebody funny, they're always funny and it's just great." [People]
• Billy Corgan, the only remaining member of The Smashing Pumpkins, is planning to charge subscribers $40 for 12 weekly 25-minute videos of him working in the studio. [The Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman says of the persistent rumors that he is gay, "I'd be happy to go and deny it, because I'm not. But by denying it, I'm saying there is something shameful about it, and there isn't anything shameful." [Parade]
• The Jonas Brothers will host Fox's Teen Choice 2009 Awards on August 11. [E!]
• Mariska Hartigay says she's feeling "Sooooo much better," since being hospitalized with a collapsed lung. "I've turned the corner and I'm feeling great. Really great," she said. [E!]
• Oh no! Mickey Rourke says he's going to slap Joel McHale, host of The Soup, in the face for making a joke about his late dog Loki. Hopefully Lou the chihuahua will help them work this out. [E!]
• Debra Messing said she met Robert De Niro at an audition. "My first film callback was for Casino, for the Sharon Stone role. I was 24 and had no money and was in school," she explained. "And so I went to an uptown hair place and said, ‘Make me look like Ivana Trump.' And I wore this very fancy - what I thought was a very fancy - black jumpsuit, and I was all ready to go, and I walked in and [De Niro] looked at me, and he's like, ‘What? You goin' to a prom?'" [NY Magazine]
• British singer Billy Bragg is criticizing a proposed EU law to double music copyright to 95 years saying, "This legislation offers the multinational record corporations a potential windfall of the size of the invention of the CD." [Yahoo]
• Kieran Culkin says he threw himself into work to try to deal with the death of his sister Dakota in December. "It's been a rough couple of months. I won't speak for anyone else, but I'm doing okay," he said. "That's the point of doing this interview and stuff. For a little while there, I wasn't going to do any press. I wasn't going to do Sundance. This was all a sort of getting-out-of-bed-and-start-walking thing." [The Daily Express]
• In a very lengthy interview Rosie O'Donnell talks about her children attending a Waldorf School, which involves signing a contract that they won't watch TV or use the computer. "I do it because I didn't have parents - my mother died and my father wasn't home. I had no one to talk to," she says. "I would much rather play rummy with my parent than sit in front of a video game, and when you don't have the TV as an option, you'd be surprised at how much you can interact with your own kids." [Just Jared]

• Lindsay Lohan continued her post-breakup bender by hitting three clubs last night and throwing eggs at X17 photographers. [Us]

• As for Samantha Ronson, while her family has been publicly insulting Lindsay, she wants to take the high road. "Sam broke up with Lindsay, but it doesn't mean she hates her or wants to see her hurt any worse than she is," says a source. "She is over Lindsay and over all the drama, but still, she refuses to trash-talk her. She just wants to walk away gracefully." [People]
• Billy Bob Thornton is refusing to apologize for his immature behavior during a Canadian radio interview. He said he's only sorry for saying that playing for Canadian audiences was like "mashed potatoes without the gravy" because he meant to diss the interviewer, not all Canadians. [TMZ]
• Billy Bob Thornton is so passionate about not using his acting fame to promote his band that it states in his rider that the band should be credited as "Billy Bob Thornton And Special Guests The Boxmasters" [The Smoking Gun]
• A judge has ruled that Redmond O'Neal violated his probation and may be sentenced to three years in state prison. He was ordered to remain in court without bail until he is sentenced on April 17. [E!, People]
• Marc Jacobs kept Lil' Kim in high spirits during her 10 month prison stay. "He's one of my best friends and was actually a huge supporter when I was in prison," she said. "He wrote me every week! "I decided to buy a coloring book – I'm a huge Bratz fan – and I painted the Bratz and made them all wear Marc Jacobs, and sent it to him. He blew it up and framed it, and now it's hanging in his house. So Marc Jacobs is the best." [Style List]
• Check out Beyonce's new video for "Halo" in which she makes out with Halle Berry's ex, Michael Ealy. [The Sun]
• Debra Opri, the lawyer who helped Larry Birkhead win custody of his daughter with Anna Nicole Smith says that he never paid her, so now she's taking him to court. [Anna Nicole and Howard Stern.com]
• David Caruso is responding to claims by the mother of his two children that he is refusing to give her the $1 million that he promised her. His rep says: "Last month David became concerned about the welfare of his children and sought court assistance to redefine David's and Liza's custodial schedules. It now appears that Liza has decided to retaliate by raising false claims against David, which David finds unfortunate since these claims will divert the parties' and the court's attention away from the best interests of the children." [Radar Online]
• The film version of Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test will hit theaters in 2010. [Rolling Stone]
• Lily Allen was supposed to chat with fans at a meet and greet after her show in Denver last night but she was too wasted. [Perez Hilton]
• Eighteen thousand Taipei Oasis fans got so excited to see the band that they made the walls of the venue rattle throughout the show. Noel Gallagher blogged: "So that was a bit mad. 18,000 people. Upstairs. On the 2nd floor of a huge exhibition centre. You could feel the building shake during Rock 'N' Roll Star. Scary fun." [The Daily Express]
• Lo Bosworth says "everything is fine" between Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, but "the next few episodes will be a bit of back and forth." It's almost as if the producers want the girls to continue fighting! [People]
• Matthew Perry is not appearing on the series finale of Lost. It's just another rumor concocted to drive fans nuts. [L.A. Times]
• At a concert over the weekend Katy Perry changed the lyrics to "You're So Gay," to: "I'm so mean 'cause I cannot get you out of your head. I'm so angry 'cause you'd rather Twitter instead. I can't believe I fell in John Mayer!" [Perez Hilton]
• Katy Perry said they tabloids exaggerated when they said she and Rihanna bonded after the Chris Brown assault. "I don't think I really, like, reached out to her," Perry said. "We've hung out a couple times. ... Of course I consider her a friend, but it's not like 'I'm there,' making a big deal of it, because I feel weird about that type of stuff. I'm trying to always be there for my friends. She's a really cool chick. I love her style. ... She's one of those unaffected people." [MTV]
• The French translation of a novel Hugh Laurie wrote in 1996, The Gun Seller was number one on France's best seller list last month. [UPI]
• In a statement to fans, Billy Corgan says he's still going to perform under the name The Smashing Pumpkins, even though three quarters of the original band members are no longer with the group. He says: "The simple answer is that when I decided to write and record again under the name the Smashing Pumpkins in 2005, I committed myself 100 pct. 100pct of my mind-body-soul to come back and make the band really be great again, and I feel in tune to SP in a way I haven't felt in tune probably since 1995 or 1996. As they say in No Limit Poker, I'm ‘all in'. I'm not going to back out of the challenge in front of me now." [Rolling Stone]
• In an interview about his movie 17 Again which is supposed to be his transition to adult roles, Zac Efron got flustered and told the interviewer, "I'm trying to figure out what you want me to say. What do you want me to say?" [USA Weekend]
• Sigourney Weaver isn't sure if she filed her taxes or not. "This year I worked in so many different countries, I'm not sure they're all done. You have to file different files when you work in different countries. I'm not quite sure how all that happens," she said. [New York Magazine]
• In this interview, Dan Aykroyd explains what's going on with the Ghostbusters video game and the third installment of the movie. He says the animation in the game looks like that in The Incredibles and Sigourney Weaver won't participate in the video game, but has agreed to be in Ghostbusters III. [Newsweek]

• Amy Winehouse seems to be getting used to the idea that her marriage to estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, is over. "I don't think I'll ever see him again," Amy posted on her Facebook page.[TheSun]

• In what was most likely an awesome scene, Harrison Ford and Al Pacino were spotted at a birthday dinner, performing each other's most famous movie lines. [PageSix]
• Nadya Suleman is dealing with the stress of having 14 kids by...not dealing with it, apparently. "I'm using denial...it's a defense mechanism. I keep telling my head and rationalizing over and over that next week that [interest in my life] is going to die down." [USWeekly]
• "The websites, the gossip pages, and all of that stuff have hurt my career – they're like the Burn Books of Hollywood… but I really don't feel like I should have to prove myself to anyone because of living out my college years in the public eye."-Lindsay Lohan [DailyMail]
• Matthew Nolan, brother of The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan, is facing murder and kidnapping charges. [DailyExpress]
• The Rihanna/Chris Brown incident has been reenacted for an online PSA that encourages teens to speak out against dating violence. [TheSun]
• Kellan Lutz says his New Moon co-star, Robert Pattinson, is actually quite shy. "His accent and his crazy hairdo get the girls swooning," Lutz says, "Rob's kind of shy, and he does this thing, when he's really shy, or when someone asks him something, he lowers his head down and the girls love it!" [ShowbizSpy]
• "I don't watch my own films-or I watch them once, but I don't replay them a lot-so I don't go, "Ooh, you look crap from that angle, I must make sure that I'm not going to do a scene from there." I don't do that, which I think would hugely affect future performances. I think the process evolves, and sometimes it's going to get better, and sometimes it's going to get worse, and just because you've been good in one film doesn't mean you're going to be good in the next. It's about collaboration. It's about the people you're working with."-Keira Knightley [AVClub]
• The real name of M.I.A.'s baby has been released: Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman. [TMZ]
• Is there going to be a wedding on Lost? [E!]
• Blind item: "Which egotistical household-name celebrity shouldn't be so proud of his latest fragrance? The cosmetics company that created it had already rejected the formula as being inferior, but quickly dusted off the recipe when he came knocking with a licensing opportunity." [Blind Gossip]
• And yet another Disney star is caught in a racist photo scandal: Joe Jonas is now apologizing for pictures that are circulating of him "slanting his eyes", much like Miley Cyrus did earlier this year. [USWeekly]
• The Smashing Pumpkins founding drummer Jimmy Chamberlin has left the band, leaving Billy Corgan as the only original member in the "reunited" band. [Reuters]
• Katy Perry got a special surprise from a chimpanzee during a photo shoot: ""Jeremy Scott is one of my all time favorites and he shot the pictures while I got to prance around in his creations," Perry says, "I had a chimp on set with me that day. Fun fact, she peed all over me, I had to take a silkwood shower in the middle of shooting." [ShowbizSpy]
• A major character on a popular television show is going to commit suicide in a shocking turn of events. But who? And from what show? [EW]

• Sources say the woman who texted Chris Brown, "triggering" the assault on Rihanna was his manager Tina Davis, 40, who is rumored to have had a relationship with Brown when he was 16. [TMZ]

• It just keeps getting worse. Not only are Chris Brown and Rihanna reportedly recording a duet for his new album, TMZ reports that a music producer rushed them into the studio because "the heightened emotions would translate powerfully into the music." Sources claim the two were "very, very emotional ... the feeling in the room was pure love." [TMZ]
• Akon says he's be happy to work with Chris Brown again. "I wouldn't take anybody's personal issues or problems- I won't hold them accountable for that when it comes to work. I think it's two separate things," said Akon. [AP]
• Jesse McCartney would also love to work with Chris. He says: "From what I've seen and from what I know of [Brown], he's always been a gentleman. I've always known him as just a really nice guy. He's always been supportive of me too. Even in the early years when he was on top and I was just building my way up. He's always been really supportive…I think he'll be okay." [Perez Hilton]
• Not everyone is heaping praise on Chris Brown, but don't get too excited. This criticism comes from Donald Trump. He says he stands by a recent quote in which he calls Rihanna a loser. "If she goes back to him, she's absolutely crazy  they say that hitters are quitters," said Trump. "If she goes back to Chris Brown, who beat the hell out of her, she's a loser." [Extra]
• Oprah is dedicating a show this week to "all the Rihannas of the world" and talking about domestic violence. It's unclear why Tyra Banks is a guest. [Jossip]
• Ha. Someone took a picture of Columbia student James Franco sleeping in class. [TMZ]
• It was announced this morning that Nadya Suleman has accepted the help of Angels in Waiting, but now the organization has issued a statement saying they are not connected to Suleman in any way. It appears there may be more than one organization called "Angels in Waiting." [Perez Hilton]
• With everyone in the Suleman family constantly doing interviews, Nadya has decided it's time for the octuplets to get in on the action. She holds each of the babies in the hospital in this video. [Radar]
• American Idol told viewers to call 1-866-IDOLS-13 to vote for contestant Anoop Desai, but that number is already in use by a phone sex company. [TMZ]
• American Idol has set up another number for tonight's voting. [New York Magazine]
• Britney really is back. She went on a shopping spree in Miami. [People]
• Hayden Panettiere is supposedly trying to get ex/co-star Milo Ventimiglia fired. Sources on the set say she's behaving like a child. "She is making it difficult for everyone involved… She refuses to be on the set at the same time as him," said one source. [Perez Hilton]
• Jay Leno is performing a free show on April 7 in Detroit for unemployed autoworkers. It's called "Jay's Comedy Stimulus Plan." [NY Times]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are back together. Their rep says: "They hit a rough patch. But in every long-term relationship, people go through ups and downs. These two are very much in love and plan to be together for a long time." [Perez Hilton]
• Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins testified before Congress today about musicians getting paid fairly. [Politico]
• Anne Heche's divorce has been finalized. She and ex-husband Coley Laffoon will share custody of their son Homer. [Star]
• Here's the trailer for Powder Blue. There's probably a plot to the movie, but people seem to be excited about it mainly because Jessica Biel goes nude for her role as a stripper. Sigh. [ONTD]
• Tom Felton, a.k.a. Draco Malfoy has Twittered that he's releasing his album "In Good Hands" on iTunes next month. [ONTD]
• Paris Hilton says she hopes BFF Nicole Richie is having a boy. "I would love for Harlow to have a little brother to look after her," says Paris. [ONTD]
• After a party at the Kabbalah center in Beverly Hills, Ashton Kutcher tried to get a drunk Demi Moore into the car without alerting the paparazzi. Judging from this series of pictures, he was unsuccessful. [Socialite Life]
• Here are pictures of Freida Pinto in the new issue of Elle. [ONTD]
• Lily Allen says she is not promiscuous. "I haven't slept with many people and on a promotional trip you don't get a chance to meet or shag anyone, and I don't like one-night stands," said Allen. [ONTD]
• Tony Award nominee Domhnall Gleeson is expected to join the cast of the new Harry Potter film as Bill Weasley. His father Brendan Gleeson plays "Mad Eye" Moody. [Muggle Net]
• Apparently Alex McCord of The Real Housewives of New York City had a job, but she's been laid off. She worked from home in visual merchandising for Victoria's Secret. She says she may have to get rid of her nanny. [Perez Hilton]
• There will be a Battlestar Galactica retrospective at the U.N. on March 17 about how the show explored themes of "human rights, children and armed conflict, terrorism, human rights and reconciliation and dialogue among civilizations and faith." There will be a panel featuring U.N. representatives, show producers, and actors moderated by fan Whoopi Goldberg. [ONTD]
• Ewan McGregor found out someone was writing a fake Twitter account pretending to be him and had it taken down. [The Business Insider]
• Coolio has been charged with one felony count of drug possession and two misdemeanors, battery and possession of a smoking device, following his arrest last week at LAX. [People]
• Disney has moved the Christmas release of The Princess and the Frog up two weeks. They don't want to compete with Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel. [Variety]
• David Alan Grier's Chocolate News won't be renewed. [The New York Times]
• Tina Turner has postponed two U.K. concerts because she has the flu. [The Star]
• Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian describe themselves as "kissing bandits" because, as Khloe says, they "kiss then run away." The newly-single Kourtney says, "I have made a ban for myself – to be single. I cannot have a boyfriend until at least a year." [People]
• Chris Rock's brother Tony has been charged with drunk driving. [TMZ]
• Marcia Cross says her daughters Eden and Savannah are big talkers. "They happen to be very verbal girls and I think that comes from me. Their mom is pretty verbal," she said. [People]
• Bad news for those planning on drinking away their economic woes: A popular bartender at the Boston bar that inspired the show Cheers has been laid off. [CBS News]
• Jimmy Boyd, the child singer and actor best known for the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" died of cancer over the weekend. He was 70. [AP]
• Kelly Clarkson says she has no desire to have kids. "I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids  because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." [Star]
• Kelly also says, "I've never been in love. I want to be so badly – I'm a hopeless romantic, but I haven't been there yet." [People]

• Alex Young, the husband of Private Practice star Kate Walsh, has filed for divorce from the actress. They've been married fourteen months, and got engaged after a five-month courtship in early 2007. [ETonline]

• Pete Wentz's favorite feature of Ashlee Simpson's? "I would start with the breasts.” At least the boy's honest! [Daily Express]
• The Mirror calls this set of Cosmo photos Scarlett Johansson's "hottest shoot yet," but we're unmoved. This is maybe a five out of ten on the Johansson hot Richter scale. [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue says she wants to get back into acting after focusing on her music career for so long. "Acting definitely plays a role in music and many aspects of my musical career but I do look forward to more film or stage acting in the future."[The Sun]
• Ugh, why does everything coming out of Billy Corgan's mouth sound so obnoxious, even when it's about something benign like spirituality? "I'm not a humble musician, but I am a humble human being, I have perspective, I have God in my life. [In the band] we talk a lot about spirituality and about why God made us musicians and why we’re here to do what we do. And we have decided in our estimation that God put us here to try new things, and be innovators," the Smashing Pumpkins frontman says. [Observer]
• Those of you who enjoy rocking all night and partying every day will be pleased to hear that Kiss is making their first album since 1998's Psycho Circus. "It's going to be very much a vintage, classic, '70s KISS album without much regard to what's happened since then; it's back to the roots," said Kiss guitarist Paul Stanley. [Reuters]
• More bizarre news from Natasha Lyonne-land: the actress's Gramercy penthouse studio was sold for $440,000. In Manhattan real estate, $440,000 for a studio is so low its unheard of, especially since the place allegedly had "a 42-foot wraparound terrace, a beamed ceiling, open views and ample closet space." Did she smear dog poo on the walls or something? [NYM]
• An Iraq veteran who has been attempting to deliver a letter to Tom Cruise at his Beverly Hills manse has been ordered by a judge to stay away from Tom Cruise. Vet Edward Van Tassel's lawyer says "He is not there to stalk Mr. Cruise as some sort of fan-obsessed person. He wants to enlist him in his mission to get appropriate remedies for soldiers of the Iraq War." This Van Tassel fellow does not sound like the most stable person, as he " waved a gun and an American flag on a Highway 101 overpass and stopped traffic for hours in Santa Barbara last month." [AP]
• Speaking of Tommy, Brooke Shields has apparently fully recovered from their postpartum depression tiff a few years back, and offered Tom many, vaguely undermining congrats on his Golden Globe nomination for his role in Tropic Thunder. "I'm so glad for him! I think it's ironic, all the work that he does [and] that's what he gets nominated for. I think he's done tremendous work so I think he's probably chuckling about it too." [People]
• Watch out L.A. County motorists! Miley Cyrus just got her learner's permit. [Perez]
• Usher and his wife Tameka had baby boy number 2, Naviyd Ely Raymond, yesterday at 2:33 a.m. That baby already loves the nightlife! [People]

West Hollywood, CA, October 25. Image via Filmmagic.

Los Angeles, CA. October 18. Image via Filmmagic.

The Good:
Robert Downey, Jr. and his wife Susan look like an old-time glamor couple from the Hollywood of yore.

Ben Stiller looks sharp in his dark suit (even if he's almost doing "Blue Steel" here) and Christine Taylor rocks the naught secretary look.

Whoah: It's Billy Corgan. He can wear whatever the fuck he wants. Especially when it involves a stripey shrirt, cropped pants, and a hat.

Emmanuelle Chirqui makes it okay to wear white after Labor Day.

No one puts Baby in the corner.

Leslie Bibb makes the one-shoulder dress look completely novel, not to mention sexy-yet-classy.

Nazanin Boniadi's dress has to be Rami Kashou, right?!

Sean Combs must be giving his outfit for this year's White Party a partial test-run.

The Bad:

Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing a jumper. How Studio 54 of her.

Beau Bridges and Wendy Treece: Did they just step out of a time machine? I know I saw these looks at my cousin's Bat Mitzvah in 1989.

Jenna Dewan's dress has good ideas. But something went terribly wrong in its execution.

I really have no patience for Pete Wentz and his "style." Also, is that a sweater vest I spy?

Same goes for Terrence Howard. But minus the sweater vest. Also, shouldn't he be carrying baby wipes?

Just not Vince Vaughn's finest hour.

The Ugly:
Oh blah blah blah I know that Jack Black is supposed to be all wacky and such, but he and wife Tanya Haden look like they're wearing their dirty laundry. From their time in the house-cleaning circus.

Courtney Hansen's dress is so wrong on so many different levels. But the shiny, too-tight booby trap up top and the piecemeal bottom seem to be the most insurmountable problems.

No, seriously: What is Rosanna Arquette wearing?

[Images via Getty.]