In an interview with the Today Show, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson said the sentence — for illegal entry and an unspecified "grave crime" — was "harsher than expected." And it may mean that Ling and Lee are the first Americans ever to enter North Korea's notoriously horrific prison system. However, some say that the sentencing is actually the first step towards the journalists' release.

Former South Korean foreign minister Han Seung-soo says, "now that they are sentenced, we can think and talk about making arrangements for their release. It is ironic but with the sentencing we now have something more tangible to negotiate about." Richardson agrees, saying that, "in previous instances in which I was involved in negotiating releases, you couldn't even start until the legal process had ended."

In fact, the twelve-year sentence may not be the actual amount of time North Korea expects the women to serve, but rather a message to the West. North Korea expert Andrei Lankov says, ""The verdict does not mean much, since they will get released. Unfortunately, right now the North Koreans want to keep tensions high, so it will take many months and perhaps a year or more before the Pyongyang authorities will decide that it's time to make some friendly gesture to Washington."

South Korean lawmaker Hong Jung-wook says, "the sentence can be seen as an indication that North Korea is now expecting a very prominent envoy to come for the negotiations over their release." This envoy could be Richardson himself, who has negotiated with North Korea before, or it could be Al Gore, head of the journalists' employer, Current TV. But Richardson told the Today Show that "talk of an envoy is premature because what first has to happen is a framework for negotiations on a potential humanitarian release." He said the US will seek a "political pardon" for the journalists. In return, North Korea may demand that an envoy visit and discuss its nuclear program. Or the government may want humanitarian aid, such as food.

In the meantime, Andrei Lankov says Ling and Lee "are very unlikely to be sent to a real prison, since there they would learn too much about things outsiders are not supposed to know. I am pretty sure that the authorities will keep them in relative comfort, in conditions far better than the average prison, but still perhaps tough for the average American." The two have become the latest in a long list of foreigners North Korea has seized over the years. Kidnap victims include a 13-year-old Japanese girl named Megumi Yokota, a South Korean businessman whom the North continues to hold as a rebuke to South Korea, and a famous South Korean film producer, Shin Sang-ok. Shin eventually escaped, but not before being forced to make a socialist version of Godzilla.

American Journalists Convicted In North Korea [Today, via MSNBC]
Reporters Get 12-Year Terms In N. Korea [CNN]
N. Korea Convicts 2 U.S. Journalists [Washington Post]
North Korea Jails US journalists [BBC News]
North Korea Sentences U.S. Journalists [Wall Street Journal]
N. Korea Sentences 2 U.S. Journalists To 12 Years Of Hard Labor [New York Times]
Why North Korea's Jailing of U.S. Journalists Isn't Shocking [Time]

(Only, you know, with fewer guests, and, since I don't manicure as regularly as Barbra Streisand, with way worse cuticles.)

The thing about politics, like the news in general, is that it's subject to the butterfly effect and, no, I'm not talking about that shitty movie with Ashton Kutcher. Some minor news story one day takes down a politician the next which, of course, brings us to the death of Bill Richardson's cabinet appointment. Not even a month ago, there was a little-noticed story about how a federal grand jury was investigating possible pay-for-play with contracts in New Mexico and just about everyone yawned and figured Richardson and Obama's vetters weren't that stupid and went back to Christmas shopping. Everyone was just focusing on Blago and the smoking-hot Patrick Fitzgerald and how no one could possibly be stupid enough to accept a Blagojevich appointment to the Senate until, of course, Roland Burris, who now considers himself the junior Senator from Illinois, did.

And, let's stop and talk for just a second about Roland Burris, whose zeal for higher office has never once been thwarted by a desire to do what was, you know, right. Just ask Rolando Cruz, who sacrificed more than a decade of his own life at the altar of Burris' political ambitions — let alone two of Burris' own prosecutors who quit rather than do something they knew was wrong. Harry Reid might faux-fight that shit all he wants (which, given that it's Harry Reid, isn't much — the man would rather watch a few boxing matches on the industry's dime than get all pugilistic up in the Senate). Burris knows he played by the rules and bought that seat fair and square just like he bought those contracts from the Blago administration and he's going to take his rightful place by hook, crook, lawsuit or race card, because that's how "vetting" is done in Chicago.

But back to Chicago, which Obama left yesterday with a tear in his eye, leaving his staff claiming that Richardson stonewalled them on the pay-for-play case — which begs the question: why did you then let him have the job, idiots? Even letting loose the info that Virginia Governor Tim Kaine, once thought a potential VP candidate, is only getting the DNC Chairmanship as his consolation prize (note to others: don't talk about Axelrod's combover) isnt' going to stop the Richardson trainwreck, especially as he's withdrawing from the Obama Administration and returning to run his own.

His state, like most of 'em, is probably deep in the hole and they'd like a trillion dollars from the federal government or else they've got these mutated, ill-tempered sea bass with fricking laser beams on their foreheads, see? And the overseer of the financial crisis might want to steer clear of state capitals once he loses that Secret Service Protection in 10 years because sea bass and governors tend to live for a while (everywhere but in Virginia, where Tim Kaine is about to be term-limited out anyway).

But there are some people that will be coming to Washington, including Al Franken, who will supposedly be declared the winner of the Minnesota Senate race today and Denver school superintendent Michael Bennet, who is reportedly Colorado Governor Bill Ritter's choice to replace Ken Salazar in the Senate. New York Governor David Paterson is still denying that Caroline Kennedy is the front-runner to replace Hillary Clinton in the Senate despite Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver flip-flopping on Kennedy last week for just that reason, so either her people have plants in the governor's office leaking this or it's all just a big show on Paterson's part to make him look so pressured that he doesn't have another choice. She might be able to make nice with either Harvard law dean Elena Kagan or Stanford law dean Kathleen Sullivan, both of whom are tops on the short list for Solicitor General and either of whom would be the first woman to hold the position.

In the meantime, troopers are alleging that the investigation into Levi Johnston's Oxy-Mom was delayed for political reasons, a bunch of anti-Bush activists are forced to cope with the fact that one of their own was an FBI plant, which makes me wonder after last spring's Elle story of another FBI plant how many anarchists we really have who aren't working for the federal government. There's also another sketchy Bill Clinton donor story out there which should make for 3 minutes of questioning during Hillary Clinton's confirmation hearings next month, assassinated Pakistani politician Benazir Bhutto's daughter has a new rap song out which is probably more ripe for parody than Rachel Maddow but SNL's Michaela Watkins of the terrible Arianna impression will try one anyway.

Oh, and not to be trumped by the damn Bidens, the Obamas will be getting their girls two puppies, too, and someone will be having a very stern talk with Joe about upstaging the boss.

"Let me say unequivocally that I and my Administration have acted properly in all matters and that this investigation will bear out that fact," Richardson says, "But I have concluded that the ongoing investigation also would have forced an untenable delay in the confirmation process." Obama has not yet nominated a replacement, though he did put out this statement: "Governor Richardson is an outstanding public servant and would have brought to the job of Commerce Secretary and our economic team great insights accumulated through an extraordinary career in federal and state office." [MSNBC]

• Clinton told her supporters to stop talking smack about Caroline Kennedy unless they're going to endorse someone else. She doesn't want people to believe it's coming from her. [Politico]

• Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has weighed in with New York Governor David Paterson on Kennedy's behalf. [CNN]
• President Bush is backing his brother Jeb's nascent run for the soon-to-be-empty Florida Senate seat currently held by the retiring Mel Martinez. [The Hill]
• Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich wants the RNC to shut the fuck up already and pull its ads that misleadingly link Barack Obama to corrupt Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. In case you're worried that he's siding with Obama, don't be worried: he's doing at part of the internecine warfare in the GOP. [Huffington Post]
• Hoping to take advantage of that warfare, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius's withdrawal from Cabinet consideration leads some people to believe she might try to run for the Senate when Republican Senator Sam "Snowflake Baby" Brownback runs for her seat. [Politico]
• The 2008 Minnesota Senate race might even be done by then. [The Hill]
• A grand jury is investigating possible corruption in New Mexico that might ensnare Commerce Secretary nominee (and current governor) Bill Richardson. How grabby were those hands? [Huffington Post]
• Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. says he's been snitching to the feds about Blagojevich since last summer, when Blagojevich held up Jackson's wife's appointment to a state board for political donations. [Huffington Post]
• Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer thinks that being a columnist for Slate "sucks" because he used to be a governor. Hey, asshole, with all these media layoffs, I'll bet they could find someone who would happily write a column for them! (My e-mail is on the masthead, by the way). [Politico]

• Oprah Winfrey is talking her show on the road to D.C. during the Inauguration. Let the speculation begin about which members of the new Administration will be appearing. [Access Hollywood]
• Congress is going to pass a law to reduce the salary of the Secretary of State to block Republican efforts to keep Hillary Clinton from serving on Constitutional grounds. So much for pay equity in an Obama Administration. [Talking Points Memo]
• Al Franken says he's pulled ahead of Norm Coleman in the Minnesota Senate race. [Politico]

• Bill Richardson didn't win any points with Barack Obama when he showed up at the presser announcing his appointment sans beard. [Washington Post, CNN]
• But could the Commerce Department just be a stepping stone on Bill Richardson's path to his beloved State Department? [Washington Independent]
• Barack Obama told all the ambassadors appointed by Bush to be out by January 20th.There's no word whether the ambassadors to India or Pakistan might be staying on. [Washington Post]
• By the way, the Mumbai terrorists were high as shit on coke and LSD the entire time they were killing people. [Boing Boing]
• Possibly also high as shit was Karl Rove, who told a roomful of New Yorkers that George Bush is totally not the worst President in modern history. [Washington Times]
• Eliot Spitzer will begin penning a finance-and-government column for Slate. It won't talk about financing high-end sex with prostitution while being in government. [New York Observer via Attackerman]
• The anti Prop 8 folks get every actor you've ever seen to act in a musical. [Funny Or Die]

• The race for who will ultimately lose to New York Governor David Paterson's desire to appoint state Attorney General Andrew "Shucking And Jiving Is Not A Racist Phrase" Cuomo to Hillary Clinton's Senate seat is on! Bill Clinton, Nita Lowey and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. are out, Caroline Kennedy might be in. [CNN, The Hill, New York Times, The New Republic]
• Senator Lisa Murkowski told Governor Sarah Palin not to even think about the 2010 primary, but plans to kick her designer-clad ass if she does. [Politico]
• Governor Bill McGrabbyhand Richardson will be your next Secretary of Commerce. [Washington Post]

• Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, imitating Clinton, Kennedy and Lowey, swears that he asked to not be considered by Obama for a Cabinet position.[LA Times]
• Al Franken might really be closing the gap in his never-ending race for Minnesota's Senate seat. [The Hill]
• A judge in Texas has thrown out the crazytown indictments against Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales, as if that were unexpected. [Huffington Post]
• The Canadian government is in turmoil because of the financial crisis, so the Prime Minister is going to try to get the Governor General to suspend Parliament while he cuts some commercials and this sounds all way more complicated than it probably needs to be. Hooray for the separation of powers. [Reuters]
• Still wondering why the financial crisis happened? Moe Tkacik digs out this little tidbit from the biography of former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, when he tried to sell 19 financial sector CEOs on the Sarbanes-Oxley requirements that they sign off on their own financial statements: "I would resign rather than be expected to know everything that's going on in my company. It's just not tenable," said an unnamed financial-services CEO. "That's what I have a board for, that 's what I have a chief financial officer for. I simply can't be held responsible for what all of those people do." Well, I guess that explains it. [Slate]

• The word is, again, that Hillary Clinton has been offered and will accept the Secretary of State job. It might not happen until after Thanksgiving, officially, though, because Obama announced he's rolling out the economic team first on Monday. [NY Times]
• Some people are a little concerned about who else she might bring to Foggy Bottom, though. [Washington Independent]
• On that economic team roll-out Monday, the top dog appears to be Timothy Geithner, the current president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, who it's said will be our next Treasury Secretary. [The Hill]
• He might well be sharing the stage with Bill Richardson, who everyone is saying will be the next Commerce Secretary. Interesting note: if he is, he'll be the second Latino in a row to hold the position, like Clinton would be the second woman in a row at State. [CNN]

• What will presumably get announced when the Clinton nomination is official is the identity of Obama's national security adviser — who, speculation holds, will be Marine Gen. James L. Jones (Ret.). [Huffington Post]
• By the way, get your Hillary campaign memorabilia now — she's still selling office equipment from her campaign to pay her debts. Taking the Secretary of State gig might mean she'll never pay off those vendors, as she would be prohibited from raising money for the debt by law. [Politico]
• Some Obama volunteer is making his own personal stimulus package by trying to sell, on eBay, a binder and speech he or she pilfered from a pre-election rally. Classy. [LA Times]
• A bunch of elementary school kids at the Ludlow Elementary School on Long Island petitioned for — and received — a more permanent campaign keepsake: they've renamed their school Barack Obama Elementary School. [ABC News]
• If you're not a fan of Big Brother, stay the fuck away from the inauguration. [Associated Press]
• And, onto policy issues, there's now yet a third competing Democratic health care reform package — in addition to the pre-emptive health care legislative strike by Finance Committee Chair Max Baucus and the package that Ted Kennedy, chair of the Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee, has promised, Oregon Senator Ron Wyden has one, too. No wonder even Hillary Clinton couldn't get anything done 15 years ago. [The Hill]
• Upstart Congressman Henry Waxman, when he wrests the gavel of the Energy and Commerce Committee from Auto Industry Michigan Congressman John Dingell, is expected to push for Obama's energy and environmental reform plans. [LA Times]
• But a repeal of the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy will likely wait until later in the 2009 — or even 2010 — while Obama and his staff soothe the Pentagon's fears that other dudes will be checking out their junk in the barracks, as though that hasn't gone on the entire time anyway. [Washington Times]
• The crazy, goat-herding, rooster-owning prosecutor who, from his trailer parked outside the courthouse, engineered an indictment of Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales showed up for court today and acted, predictably, completely crazy. Because he's crazy. [Brattleboro Reformer]
• Speaking of, Fred Thompson is engineering his return to acting, but no one is really sure how well he's going to fit into the Gossip Girl cast. [Huffington Post]

MEGAN: Are you sufficiently caffeinated? I am having a Diet Coke jones, but there is nary a bottle in the proximity.

ANA MARIE: Oh, there's Jim Webb the big pumpkin head!

MEGAN: I wonder what he fills it with...

ANA MARIE: Which is to say, not really. But I do like Mr. Pumpkin head. Filled with pumpkin.

MEGAN: I could do with some pumpkin bread.

ANA MARIE: Mike Barnicle is telling Jim Webb that "you know more than anyone about class warfare... you've written about it." And, it's true, Webb knows a lot about class warfare: HE IS FOR IT. He's pretty much for any kind of warfare.

MEGAN: Yeah, I was sort of starting to think to myself, "Jim Webb is an economist?" but then Barnicle kept being all shout-y and I got distracted. He is really pissed at Senators who voted for the AIG bailouts to save those guys' salaries who are now shitting on union pay/benefit packages.

ANA MARIE: We could just turn Crappy Hour into Meta Morning Joe. I know that's my fault but I'm not sure if I'm really sorry.

MEGAN: It's okay; who doesn't love Morning Joe except for Mika's hair? Free Mika's hair!

ANA MARIE: Her hair does compete with her attempts to be somewhat serious.

MEGAN: Although, thankfully, she has apparently given up the Palin-do today. Small favors.

ANA MARIE: Oh god, Mika is "driving the ship" Mon-Wed. I might have to convene some kind of A Very Special Crappy Hour.

MEGAN: Wait, so, Jane Krakowski is coming on next? Was that a pattern on the top of her shirt, or was that cut outs? Do I need to be on nip slip alert?

ANA MARIE: You, my dear, are ALWAYS on nip slip alert. And thank god someone is.

MEGAN: Okay, during the commercial, we have to discuss Obama tapping Janet Napolitano at DHS. Do we think they'll have to convene an exorcism to expel The Wraith in January?

ANA MARIE: It's a chance for Bobby Jindal to come onto the national stage with some pizazz!

MEGAN: That would be awesome, actually. But on Napolitano: kind of crazy that right now 2 of the 3 hard core security gigs will seemingly go to women.

ANA MARIE: What if they all start getting their periods at the same time!!??!?! NUCLEAR WAR!

MEGAN: Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran!

ANA MARIE: I think at this point we are contractually obligated to mention the CHENEY HAS BEEN INDICTED. Have you read about this? Has it been Drudged?

MEGAN: Yes, apparently, this headline-seeking prosecutor in Texas decided that holding stock in a company whose employees do bad things makes us all liable for the actions of said employees.

ANA MARIE: Here's the weird thing: "Cheney, Gonzales and the others will not be arrested, and do not need to appear in person at the arraignment, Presiding Judge Manuel Banales said."

MEGAN: Because the judge needs an arraignment to throw out the case?

ANA MARIE: I guess that's not actually weird but good, given that it sounds fucking insane. God that must be a fun jury.

MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, I wonder what they were smoking and whether it's only available in Texas.

ANA MARIE: I think the prosecutor is not JUST headline-seeking btw. There is deep crazy at work here:

After Guerra's office was raided as part of the investigation early last year, he camped outside the courthouse in a borrowed camper with a horse, three goats and a rooster. He threatened to dismiss hundreds of cases because he believed local law enforcement had aided the investigation against him.

But, hey, the netroots must be happy! Someone LISTENED!

MEGAN: Well, I believe that local law enforcement had aided the investigation against him, since that's the job of law enforcement. I'm just concerned about the 3 goats and a rooster.

ANA MARIE: The horse? That's fine. It is Texas.

MEGAN: Yeah, I'm not worried about the horse. But this guy sounds like a goat-sacrificer. Plus who has only a rooster?

ANA MARIE: Someone who is frightened of both alarm clocks and eggs.

MEGAN: But eggs are delicious! Wow, I'm getting the significant impression that I probably should have had more than a salad for dinner last night.

ANA MARIE: I should have had dinner! And lunch. And probably breakfast. Been trying to lose my "campaign fifteen" but sort of lazy about it — instead of eating smart, been not eating. Off topic: I LOVE Pat Buchanan on TV. He's always, like, PEERING at the camera. As if suspicious of the technology. Like he knows it wasn't MADE IN AMERICA.

MEGAN: Well, there's no rest for no wicked, and no breakfast for us until we finish this, but after that there will be bacon in my future, mostly because I only have one egg in the fridge. So, Penny Pritzker at Commerce? It's even wilder that of all the Cabinet slots that have leaked, you've got Clinton, Napolitano, Pritzker and Holder. Are the only grey-haired white guys going to actually be in the White House? No offense, Rahm.

ANA MARIE: Well, there's Valerie Jarrett. And Susan Rice will turn up somewhere, no? I would love it if Samantha "She's a monster" Power also showed up. But if they're serious about Clinton I'm guessing not.

MEGAN: Susan Rice appears to be on-track for a sub-cabinet slot. Jarrett's going to the White House. And Sam Powers is apparently still at Harvard, though I would have picked her for an undersecretary gig at State but you're right, if Clinton goes to State, she's not gonna.

ANA MARIE: MSNBC says Sebelius being vetted for Energy Secretary or Labor! CHICKS EVERYWHERE.

MEGAN: Kathleen, run from Labor! Labor's a dead-end gig!

ANA MARIE: Yeah, put Richardson in Energy.

MEGAN: And Chuck Todd is saying that there are few Hispanic names, but he apparently didn't read the WaPo story on HUD Secretaries in which Antonio Villaraigosa and Miami mayor Manuel Diaz came up.

ANA MARIE: Or, you know, Richardson for Interior, since apparently that is the Land of Grabbyhands.

MEGAN: That's how they determine contracts there sometimes! And Richardson at Interior would be interesting, since it has seemingly gone to Western types for quite a while.

ANA MARIE: This is the most interest anyone has shown in posts like HUD in a long time. It's just because they haven't gotten a puppy yet. Once the puppies come in, we'll be able to truly ignore the news.

MEGAN: Well, probably the only reason anyone's interested in HUD right now is that whole mortgage crisis thing, but my money's on Villaraigosa, Telemundo mistress be damned.

ANA MARIE: Oh, you and your logic and pragmatism.

MEGAN: Fine. Yes, I think once there are pictures of the girls romping on the lawn with the puppy, there will be no other news. The Washington Post will eliminate all other print coverage and just print pictures so there is an epidemic of hearts exploding from cuteness. And then we'll get another baby panda if the economy gets worse, just because.

ANA MARIE: Look, that's the only way newspapers can survive, right? The puppy equivalent of all those Memorial Obama Editions. And, fuck, if you give me another panda baby, you can have my house! I will just need an internet connection and the panda cam. And booze. And coffee. I should probably keep the house. In a just world I like to think we get panda babies and homes. Isn't that basically what Obama promised?

MEGAN: Well, and rainbows and unicorns, right? But baby pandas are cuter.

ANA MARIE: Ok I'm here, and caffeinated. Please turn on Morning Joe so that we can mock in tandem. If it were later in the day, I would recommend drinking every time they say "team of rivals."

MEGAN: Yay caffeine! And, um, boo for Pat Buchanan. who just suggested that our move from a manufacturing economy to a tertiary economy is the reason the American Empire is failing.

ANA MARIE: Because after a few pops maybe "team of rivals" would make sense... As it is, the only "rival" in sight for Team O is Hillary... and I am far from convinced that she's really gonna get offered the job much less take it.

MEGAN: Well, do you have stuff for mimosas and Bloody Marys? Because those are perfectly acceptable alternatives to morning whiskey.

ANA MARIE: If Hillary gets SecState, i will break out the morning whiskey

MEGAN: I only have morning tequila. By the way, when did Mika start wearing Palin's hair?

ANA MARIE: Ugh. Mika. Do you think it's weird that they cycle every editor in NYC through as a "guest host" but NO OTHER WOMEN? Is Mika so insecure that the only other lady she'll share a desk with is Andrea Mitchell and her giant floating head? And I think this is basically the same question: do you want Hillary to be the most powerful woman in the Obama White House? I mean, on the one hand — as it's been pointed out — not a lot of other women's names are out there. On the other hand: Hillary. Bill.

MEGAN: We should probably comment on the fact that the freezing cold Erin Burnett just said that 80% of Russians would have voted for Obama, in part because they're hoping Obama will fix the chilly relations between us that Putin —who has his hand firmly up Medvedev's butt — is making worse over missile defense and South Ossetia... even though Putin, the cause of the chilly relations, is still damn popular himself . Well, she didn't say that part about Putin having his hand up Medvedev's butt but mostly because the KGB starting filming her there at the end.

ANA MARIE: Perhaps the KGB just wanted a look at Erin's delicious ass.

MEGAN: On Hillary, I mean, am I in love with John Kerry, Chuck Hagel, Sam friggin' Nunn or Bill McGrabbyhands Richardson? No. But it's not going to be Sam Powers or Susan Rice.

ANA MARIE: Hagel would be a disaster. I love the rumor that the Hillary thing got leaked basically just fuck with Senor McGrabby.

MEGAN: You thought watching Bush paw Merkel's shoulders that time was embarrassing, wait 'til Richardson gets his paws on her ass, even if she is a little old for his taste.

ANA MARIE: Hagel would just go around hitting people rather than caressing them.

MEGAN: Honestly, in that group, having Bill Clinton paw my ass would likely be my best option, not that he supposedly does that any more.

ANA MARIE: Right. And his complete reform of c) is another reason Hillary will not be SecState.

MEGAN: Please, please, please tell me you just heard that on MSNBC?

ANA MARIE: No. I am projecting.

MEGAN: Their slightly fey entertainment reporter just said, "Justin Timberlake in heels and tights? Yes, Pat Buchanan, there is a Santa Claus."

ANA MARIE: Justin Timberlake for SecState!

MEGAN: I'd smack his ass for him!

ANA MARIE: I'm working really hard to get from "Timberlake in tights" to reminding everyone that Rahm is a ballet dancer... but I guess i don't really have to work that hard. Lindsey Graham totally wishing they all could wear tights to the transition meeting.

MEGAN: Lindsay Graham wishes he could pick the colors, and you know he'd have one of them in fishnets. Hard to decide whether it would be Rahm or Barry. And do you think Rahm still counts time in 8's (that's a joke for everyone who ever took dance lessons)?

ANA MARIE: Perhaps that's why losing part of a finger didn't phase him. Oh, and McCain trivia: When he hosted SNL, Mark Salter left him for a bit to go smoke and when he returned, the senator was in the middle of putting on fishnets for his Barbara Streisand skit... a costuming decision, safe to say, that had not been pre approved. Disaster was avoided, the nations' eyes were spared and McCain held onto his dignity for a whole nuther 8 years. and then Palin happened... Salter was unable to stop that.

MEGAN: And, I have to say, the inside of my brain needs a good acid-wash now, as I was unable to avoid the mental image of seated McCain in a wife-beater and a thong, slowly unrolling a pair of fishnet stockings up one if his legs held high in the air with a pointed toe (because of the ballet conversation).

ANA MARIE: See if you can sub in Rahm.

MEGAN: The thong doesn't fit Rahm as well.

ANA MARIE: How do you think that meeting goes today, btw?

MEGAN: I'm assuming it will be about as productive as the G-20, which is to say that it will be a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

ANA MARIE: Hm. I respectfully disagree.

MEGAN: About the G-20, or the Obama-McCain confab?

ANA MARIE: McCain Obama confab. All Obama needs to do is to tell McCain he wants to put him in charge of a new immigration bill. And then Lindsey will clap his hands together like a little girl.

MEGAN: And thereby shred whatever credibility McCain still has within the Republican party? Awesome. I'm guessing lobbying reform, since that's reportedly where their relationship went sour.

ANA MARIE: I don't think McCain gives a fuck about the GOP. At this point, he is truly free.

MEGAN: True, although McCain did nearly completely reverse himself on immigration since the start of the campaign.

ANA MARIE: Actually, the problem Rs had with him was that he didn't reverse himself enough. He changed his rhetoric but he favors comprehensive reform.

MEGAN: How exceedingly practical of him! That's so unlike a Republican. But pushing an Obama immigration bill would make him the Lieberman of the Republican party, at a minimum.

ANA MARIE: Lieberman is the Lieberman of the Republican party. And, like we're saying, McCain is not a very good Republican. Oh, and another point! Lots of chatter among pundits about whether or not the meeting will be "uncomfortable" because of the "harsh campaigning." I think that's pundits wanting drama where there doesn't have to be any. These are big boys.

MEGAN: Do people think they're going to go at it at 20 paces or something? Bitch-slap fest? If they were going to be dicks, they wouldn't do it.

ANA MARIE: And yet we're going to get HOURS AND HOURS of speculation about it. That's what today is looking like, "news"-wise

MEGAN: I mean, when the biggest bold-faced names out of the Obama camp are Greg Craig, Phil Schiliro, and Valerie Jarrett, imagining a pants-off, dance-off between Rahm Emanuel and Lindsay Graham is way more fun.

ANA MARIE: I think we can imagine the "vetting" of Bill Clinton as a pants-off dance off as well.

MEGAN: [shudders] The other big story is that Obama might have to give up his blackberry, and he's not even going to go into rehab.

ANA MARIE: I have to say this makes me a little sad.

MEGAN: The end of his Blackberry, or Bill Clinton dancing in his underoos?

ANA MARIE: Barry berry-less. As much as I thought the whole "McCain can't email" thing was a pointless crit, the idea of Obama being theoretically available via email was really humanizing, as weird as it may be to think of email as humanizing I mean, surely, there's a way for him to keep emailing. If we can put a man on the moon, etc.

MEGAN: I mean, I also hate and think it's a shit thing that the reason they're doing it is so that less of his stuff will be accessibly under open records laws.

ANA MARIE: Exactly. Sort of voids the point of records laws...

MEGAN: That, and I sort of feel like: if you're not going to be DOING ANYTHING WRONG why does it matter?

ANA MARIE: Because it's not as though those discussions won't happen... or as though Obama won't ever do anything shady.

MEGAN: It'll just be Change if he does fewer shady things.

ANA MARIE: What if he does just as many but because he's so fucking disciplined we just never find out? I consider this a real possibility.

MEGAN: The problem is not whether he remains disciplined, its whether every single person that works with him remains so, and history says that they won't. Four years, let alone 8, is a long time to keep one's yap shut when there are reporters around stroking your ego and lots and lots of alcohol. Plus, as advisers start rolling over around the 2 year mark — and they have at least some time to kill given his lobbying restrictions — people are going to be looking to talk. That's how it works. He'd be better off keeping the Blackberry to remind him not to say or do stupid sketchy shit and turning over his emails to conservative interest groups than pretending like his sketchy shit isn't going to get found out.

ANA MARIE: Megan Carpentier for Deputy Chief of Staff!

• Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid has decided that the entire Democratic caucus will vote next week whether Independent Senator Joe Lieberman will keep his seat as chairman of the Homeland Security Committee after having back John McCain and gone negative against Obama. [TPM Election Central]
• How negative did Lieberman really go? There's a video to count the ways. [Politico]
• And both the Clintons swear that — despite leaked reports that rather obviously came from Lieberman's camp — they aren't pushing to keep Lieberman at Homeland Security or in the caucus. [Politico]
• Racist Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss, who, according to the Constitution represents all the citizens of Georgia regardless of their race, knows the reason he didn't avoid a run-off election because not enough of "his" people turned out. You know, white people. That always vote for the white guy. Because they're white. [Think Progress]

• In the meantime, the Bushies are mad that the Obama folks leaked that Bush will only support an auto industry bailout if the Dems pass the Colombia FTA, as though that wasn't a legit assumption given that the Bushies already told the Hill that exact thing the day before. [Politico]
• Obama released his guidelines covering lobbyists' activities for his transition team and good government types think he is, like, so cool. [The Hill]
• And if the fact that he was able to outspend John McCain by crazy margins wasn't reason enough, it turns out that skipping public financing means Obama's campaign won't face a crazy audit. Raising tons of money means that if they did get some unlawful contributions, they would be so minor the FEC doesn't really care, either. McCain, though, gets the full accountant treatment, which is not as sexy-dirty as it sounds, sort of like how fucking an accountant isn't. [Politico]
• And Latino groups expect that Obama will appoint Latinos to the Cabinet. They are, apparently, pushing for Governor Bill "McGrabbyhands" Richardson, but I'm throwing my completely inconsiderable weight behind New York Congresswoman (and Small Business Committee Chair) Nydia Velázquez for the top spot at the Small Business Administration. LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is supposedly on the list for something (and is, strangely, one of Obama's economic transition advisers), but I think he's more likely to get a sub-Cabinet appointment than a Cabinet slot. [Washington Post]
• Alaska's verified 50,000 of its early and absentee ballots and will start counting them this week to see if convicted and corrupt Senator Ted Stevens will actually win re-election and thus give Governor Sarah Palin a shiny new Senate feather to add to her political cap. [CNN]
• The GOP has started smearing Minnesota's Democratic Secretary of State Mark Ritchie in a misguided attempt to provoke peals of laughter from every Democrat that ever dealt with Katherine Harris and stop the legally-mandated recount in Minnesota because the margin separating Coleman and Franken is still teeny-tiny. Apparently, since 3 people heard him speak at a non-prime-time spot during the Democratic convention, Minnesotans don't need a recount. [TPM Muckraker]
• Noted cursing afficianado Joe Scarborough has earned himself a 7-second on-air delay for saying "Fuck you" earlier this week. My momma would've washed my mouth out with soap, but I could run faster. Not 7 seconds faster, though. [Politico]
• John Edwards has decided to give make his first public appearance following his admission that he fucked around on his wife. What do you think the odds are that audience members will ask him how he's coping with having cuckolded his wife the way that people seemingly insist on asking Elizabeth how she feels about it? Slim to none? [Time]
• Hopefully, the odds are better that the next Congress really will examine Bush's abuses of power next year. [Washington Independent]

• Though Barack obama told Americans nothing about forthcoming nominations, that doesn't mean there's nothing to speculate about! John Kerry, Chris Dodd and Bill Richardson are lead speculative Secretary of State candidates, Robert Gates might stay at the Defense Department, Janet Napolitano could be headed to Justice and former eBay executive Steve Westly, the Governator or Kathleen Sebelius could end up at DOE. Discuss at your leisure — Obama certainly is. [CNN, Politico]
• The President-Elect has included sexual orientation and gender identity in his non-discrimination pledge on hiring, which is awesome. [ACLU]
• Harry Reid is a little pissed about Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman's Obama-bashing during his balls-out support of John McCain this election season — to say nothing of his current flirtation with Mitch McConnell and the GOP caucus. He is thinking of allowing the Democratic caucus to strip Lieberman of his committee chair, which Lieberman calls "unacceptable" and everyone else calls "no less than he deserves." [CNN, Huffington Post]
• Unlike the obstreperous Lieberman, Appropriations Committee Chairman Robert Byrd is stepping aside as chairman because he's confident of the new Democratic majority and, likely, because of his continuing ill health. Sadly, this means no more "barbaric" speeches. [The Hill, YouTube]

• In what may be the most disturbing charitable donation of all time, some of the clothing items the Palins need to return to the RNC include Todd's silk boxers. And you thought her plane left skid marks when it left Phoenix! [Washington Post]
• To counter that image, Sarah Palin's going to do an interview with Greta Van Susteren. Nope, don't think that image is getting out of my head regardless, sorry. [LA Times]
• Right-wing South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint is pissed that McConnell isn't going to expel Senate Ted "McBribe-y" Stevens from the Senate during the lame duck session. Yes, Virginia, some Republicans do have principles. [Politico]
• The best quote that ever has been said or ever will be said about Rahm Emanuel: "Emanuel, on the other hand, is a drama queen; seething, foaming Mamet production; a big mouth; and a calculating mensch who loves nothing more than to stoke the feed bag for press-corps noshers." Oh, this is going to be an epic White House. [Politico]
• Obama's aunt — who the right-wingers discovered far too late has overstayed her deportation order — has decided to fight in court for the right to remain in the U.S. She's not in great health, reportedly, which would seem like humanitarian grounds to let her stay but our immigration system isn't exactly known for being humanitarian in nature. [MSNBC]
• Neither are Americans, two of whom in New Jersey set a cross ablaze on the lawn of an Obama supporter. Racism: officially no longer confined to The South. Please make a note of it. [Editor & Publisher]
• In slightly better news, there is talk about automatically registering every eligible citizen to vote and expanding early voting so that this ACORN-caging-voter challenges nonsense can finally just end. God, how awesome would that be? [NY Times]

MEGAN: I am sitting here watching CNBC and drinking coffee, which I don't normally do. By the way, the economy: still fucked.

LATOYA: Lucky you — I'm already in the office. I know the economy is still fucked — why do you think I'm here? I think we need to chill for the long haul on this one. It's gonna be a while, new stimulus package or no.

MEGAN: I love, by the way, that John McCain is all like, "Obama just wants to throw money at problems like education and special needs kids!" and in the meantime, he's all Mr. New Spending. And Republicans are shoveling money at the market faster than they shovel bullshit at the American people.

LATOYA: Yeah, some free market this is. I didn't know some people got a string to pull if you fucked up. Looks like Bernake's ProBama.

MEGAN: This is what happens when you tell reporters that the economy isn't your strong suit and the economy goes to shit. Also, insulting your opponent by calling him a Socialist while the government is busy nationalizing entire industries and you're calling for the government to, in effect, buy the mortgage rights to have the country is not good either. Bob Schieffer knows that most Republicans are privately Pro-bama these days, they're just too scared to say. It's just the mouth-breathers who don't actually have to, like, work in the government that are all like JOHN AND SARAH OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO.

LATOYA: Details, Megan, Details Is it just me that's hoping for a reverse Bradley effect?

MEGAN: If I prayed, I'd pray for one.

LATOYA: Don't waste your prayer on that. The specter of election '00 still haunts us.

MEGAN: Well, I mean, She's supposedly omnipotent, right?

LATOYA: If this comes down to the Supreme Court, I want everyone on this: protest, prayers, fertility dances. I don't give a damn what you do, do it in the Obama direction.

MEGAN: I'm up for a fertility dance, even if it means I have to be celibate for a month.

LATOYA: Nah, you have to stick with the prayers. We have to counteract the scared evangelicals.

MEGAN: Awww, poor babies, once they've denounced him, called him godless, passed around rumors that he's a Muslim and campaigned against him, they're worried he won't talk to them about their conservative, intolerant social agenda? Color me sad.

LATOYA: It's only unfair when you're losing. I'm just concerned they'll call up the ghost of Jerry Falwell.

MEGAN: Oh, right. I mean, it's his duty to represent all the people in the United States, sort of like it was George Bush's duty.

LATOYA: Define "people". Obviously, some of us who aren't here yet count more than those of us who are here, so maybe they just are counting most of us heathens.

MEGAN: Well, I think that by "people" they mean "those of them that are saved" and so that's anything that's in our uteri, and (white) evangelicals. Other than that, um, oh, wait, I think Bush had Chalabi's back for a while when he went to invade Iraq.

LATOYA: Then again, maybe it isn't the extreme set that we should be worried about. Someone shot a bear cub in the head and dropped some Obama campaign tags over its dead body. Now, there are multiple layers of fucked up in that mix and the story doesn't have many details yet. But that is just sick and disgusting.

MEGAN: Also, I think we need an alibi for Sarah Palin. She was just in North Carolina.

LATOYA: Ha — you can handle that. I'm watching how Obama is leaving the campaign trail to visit his sick grandma. It's the little things that get to me in this election, it really is.

MEGAN: I mean, if they sent her home from the hospital last week, and she's that ill, she's probably in hospice care.

LATOYA: Perhaps. I hope she gets well.

MEGAN: I hope for his sake that he gets there in time, and that he's taking Sasha and Malia.

LATOYA: See, I can't even read a sweet story like that without getting pissed. On one hand you have a family man, someone in a partnership with his wife, a thinking politician, someone who has seen the best and worst of America and wants to serve us anyway...

MEGAN: I mean, his spokesman all but said she's not going to get better. It sucks that she won't get to vote for her grandson. And it probably sucks more that if she votes absentee, some Republican will probably object.

LATOYA: Sigh. Moving on. Oh, did you hear? We apparently hate real Americans. Because obviously, we are fake Americans. This isn't news to me — we talk about how PoC are marginalized in America all day every day at my spot — but I thought you would want to know.

MEGAN: Well, that's good to know, at least. If I'm disenfranchised at the polls in two weeks, at least I'll know why. So, am I to assume there's a new God test for citizenship? Do I have to swear fealty to a particular brand of God to vote? Are they going to make me submit to a lie detector to make sure I really believe in God?

LATOYA: Oh, it gets better:

Warming up a crowd in North Carolina Saturday, Republican Rep. Robin Hayes offered the diagnosis that “liberals hate real Americans that work and achieve and believe in God.”

His remarks came shortly after he had said he would “make sure we don’t say something stupid, make sure we don’t say something we don’t mean.”

Hayes had followed Rep. Patrick McHenry, also a North Carolina Republican, who laid out the choice between McCain and Obama.

“It’s like black and white,” yelled someone from the crowd.

You just can't make this shit up. You really can't.

MEGAN: I love how that shit is a) not stupid and b) not something he doesn't mean. Really, can we just pick somewhere for them all to go on November 6th?

LATOYA: Mars?

MEGAN: Perfect! And since it takes 3 years to get there, they won't be back until 2014. I think that's a good plan.

LATOYA: We should tell them real Americans set up camp on Mars.

MEGAN: No, we should tell them that God has called them to journey there, just like God called Moses to lead the Jews out of Egypt. Charlton Heston already left! Outer space is the new desert.

LATOYA: It so is. Mars is red, the Red Sea — we could totally sell this. This is shaping up to be a tough week for McCain. He's running out of cash (down to $47 million!) and he's breaking up with Colin Powell.

MEGAN: I'm actually surprised he has $47 million left when he only had $84 to start. But, then I read about Meg Whitman giving almost $100,000 despite donation "limits" that McCain's supposed campaign finance reform put into place and I'm not that surprised anymore.

LATOYA: I would say something about saving and fiscal responsibility, but it just looks like creative loopholing. I find it interesting that McCain is shocked Colin Powell didn't call.

MEGAN: I mean, why does no one but me point out that McCain wrote the loopholes?

LATOYA: Makes sense though. That's how he knows what to use. I'm still on the McCain/Powell break up. Maybe Powell didn't feel like being called Judas. That title was already flexed on Gov. Richardson. Or maybe Sarah drove a rift in their relationship. Hmmm...

MEGAN: Given how leaky McCain's organization is — as evidenced by no less than 3 staffers telling CNN they're giving up on Colorado — I'm not totally surprised. Plus, when do you think the last time was that McCain called him up? With all the whispers for weeks that Powell was thinking about breaking it off, why wouldn't John call him and be like, Colin, baby, I'm sorry, I've been really busy, let me buy you a drink when this is all over...? Especially since they weren't in an exclusive relationship.

LATOYA: Does Colin Powell have a Facebook page? Maybe John should have checked their status. Telephone is so pre-2000. Maybe Colin sent him a "TTYL" and he just stopped paying attention. I guess after 25 years, the thrill is gone. It's the end of a bromance. We should send him a CD. Or at least email Meghan McCain, have her post "How Come You Don't Call Me" in his honor

MEGAN: Powell's all about "You Don't Own Me."

LATOYA: LOL — "Don't tell me what to say!"

MEGAN: "Don't say I can't go with other boys!"

LATOYA: "Just let me be myself...that's all I ask of you!"

MEGAN: In my head, Colin Powell is, crying, singing this into his hairbrush like Bridget Jones, slightly drunk.

LATOYA: "I'm free — and I love to be free!" See, now that's going to be stuck in my head all day!

MEGAN: I'm a terrible person, I apologize.

MOE: So should we slog through the Veeps today? is anything else happening?
MEGAN: Yeah, we can start with veeps, want to go Dem or Republican firsties?
MOE: I'm sending you TNR. I will admit to having not read long past Ed Rendell, but I'm calling it up again.

MEGAN: Yeah, I sadly read all of those this weekend, including David Frum's bullshit piece on "how" McCain should choose a Veep (hint: even the ones that don't win go on to be President some day, what a terrible thought) and that ends with this gem:

I have my own personal nomination for vice president for McCain. It's Rudy Giuliani, precisely because he shares the vision of a practical, reforming, war- winning Republican Party that inspires John McCain, plus the stronger-than- usual grounds for hoping that he might be the rare candidate who can make a difference in an essential state—in this case, New Jersey.

MEGAN: The fact that I continued reading the rest of the profiles after that is a sign of my dedication to our readers, for real. Wetlands was less perverse.
MOE: I'm actually reading Frum's piece now. Uhhhh, news you can't use: Garrett Hobart was William McKinley's VP…something something C-Span, VP candidates never deliver voters…blah.

MEGAN: Right. And let's get that Giuliani guy back. Barf.
MOE: Also, how did Mike Bloomberg get on "both Barack Obama and John McCain's vice-presidential shortlists"? Is this true?
MEGAN: I think that's bullshit.
MEGAN: Obama needs a New Yorker? Please. I mean, Bloomie spent 5 minths trying to gin up enough national press to get enough name recognition to make a run at it and couldn't manage. The last thing McCain needs with social conservations already starting to defect is to put a non-Zell Miller, non-Joe Lieberman former Democrat from New York City on the ticket.
MOE: I like this lede re Huck Yeah:

If the first rule of picking a running mate is to risk as little harm to the ticket as possible, then Mike Huckabee shouldn't be John McCain's first choice for veep—or his second, third, or fourth, for that matter.

He is the GOP equivalent of Ed Rendell! Although Ed could probs use some of his dieting tips. And you can file the rest of this piece into "Quirky pol derangedly beloved by numerous members of the media, who have filed away several hundred thousand words of anecdote — and travel expenses — that will go to waste if editors don't redeem this "possible VP" angle in critical pre-Convention window of time.

MEGAN: But didn't you hear? He saved someone's life this weekend. He's obviously ordained by God or something. He's the actual Messiah. What has Obama ever done?
MOE: Um

“I’m glad that Mike was in the right place at the right time and continued to lead by example,” former South Carolina Lt. Gov. candidate Mike Campbell told The Palmetto Scoop. “We all know that [Huckabee] is pro-life, and once again he has lived up to it.”
The newspaper noted that Pittenger apparently suffers from acid reflux, which likely caused the incident to occur. It added that Huckabee, who is also known for losing 110 pounds and promoting healthy living, was trained as an EMT in college and this may not be the first time he’s sprung to action when needed.

Are they subtly suggesting a little experience with bulimia might have saved a life?

MOE: Also, Pawlenty. The thing is called "Extreme Makeover," it addresses his "proletarian chic," and you can't see it on the site, but in print it's adorned by a picture that just makes you think: that is a rather aristocratic nose on that guy.
MOE: But genes can be so deceiving! He likes to perform "headlocks" and go to bars and such.

Pawlenty will be the first presidential running mate to have worn a mullet into middle age.

MOE: Oh my god, and more on the hair.

At 47, he is lean and vigorous, with plush brown hair.

MOE: Plush?
MEGAN: Dude, it's Minnesota. Of course he's all down home like. I love, however, where he's drinking: at an American Legion Hall. The first bar I ever spent any time at at the tender age of 16 was a VFW bar and I am pretty sure they would've served me but I didn't drink and I had to drive home from there but it was shady, dude.
MEGAN: Anyone else think Noam has a man crush on Pawlenty?
MOE: Did you read the Vanity Fair man crush piece? I was going to post on it later. I hate trend pieces that are accurate.
MEGAN: I didn't, but if we're gonna talk man crushes, we should probably talk about Jim Webb now.
MEGAN: Except that the TNR piece is written by a woman. Goddammit, ruins my joke. Oh, well.
MOE: One thing, btw, I totally do not understand is how the "Axis of Arugula" enemies over at Fox News have remained so oblivious to how thorougly their beloved blue collar culture has totally been co-opted by the elite. The American Legion is like, the epicenter of the scene!

MEGAN: Because the Enemies of Arugula are too busy dining at [insert name of trendy NYC eatery here] to bother checking out the American Legion or VFW bar, not that they could get in because you generally have to be a vet or a friend of a vet and, well, you know. Fox News.
MOE: Like right wing blogger Dorothy King re her Obamaconservatism, who is referenced in a Bartlett piece:

Do I now, as a newly minted Obamaphile liberal elitist, have to serve my guests Chablis? Or would any old chardonnay do? Must it be arugula for the salad; or would lamb's lettuce, dandelion and little gems in hazelnut oil be okay? What about desert? I had planned to make a chocolate soufflé cake. But baking ... are Obamacons allowed to bake, or is that too conservative?

Um, Dorothy: if you really want to pass for bleeding-heart, cupcakes and Pabst! Pretend like you're in Kansas. Ohhhhh, bad pun. Srsly though.

MOE: I didn't even know chablis was supposedly nicer than chardonnay. I just buy this shit by the price point.
MEGAN: Also, wait, isn't Hillary the feminist candidate? Isn't Hillary the one who doesn't bake?
MEGAN: Chablis is like what people drank in the 70s. And it's sweeter. Chardonnay is the new Chablis, it's what people buy when they don't know what to buy or drink or even what they like.
MEGAN: It's 90% mass market, dumbed down, oaked-up crap that people think they're supposed to like.
MEGAN: Wow, I think I might have stronger opinions about wine than I do about VPs. Especially if that VP is Sam Nunn. Boooring. Also not gonna happen.
MOE: That's totes what I thought. Like, chablis was advertised in all those old Cosmos Anna got for us this one time. Regardless, you notice how the last desperate shreds of this phony elitism-populism thing are sort of a theme of this issue? Hence the Jim Webb hardon:

He embodies the liberal fantasy laid out by Thomas Frank in What's the Matter With Kansas?: that blue-collar whites will stop being mad at liberals for frowning at their guns and start being mad at conservatives for raping their pocketbooks.

MOE: Here's the link.

MEGAN: Blue collar white semi-conservatives might well get mad about their pocketbooks, but they vote with our uteri. I mean, they don't vote with their own because they don't have them or would totes never get an abortion, not that they would talk about, anyway. Guns for all, abortions for none! And fuck the economy, that's the Democrats' fault.
MOE: Like, personally, I am liberal as fuck, and my dad is a conservative, and he has fine tastes and reads the classics and knows about wine and shit, and I am the one who clocks in at 7:30 after grabbing an egg sandwich and a Post, and I guess that's how it should be?
MEGAN: Well, I'm not quite as liberal as you I'd say, but I know about wine! And I read the classics. Sometimes. The last book I read the whole way through was The Master and Marguerita and I swear I'm gonna finish Crime and Punishment and Baal and Amerika and Tropic of Cancer this year. I swear. But I won't be voting for McCain, that's for sure.
MOE: Oh my god I just saw that joke in the Gchat screen lolol. Readers, why don't you decide?

Megan: dude. i need an opinion whether I should write this.: Wait, dude, there's an even more horrible takeaway joke from Dorothy: She's trying to say that a world with Obama is a world without chocolate. is that past the line?

No lady, I'm just drooling right now and I'm not sure why…
MEGAN: Fine, I'll bake cupcakes next time I visit. Chocolate ones. Soufflé doesn't travel well.

MEGAN: Ok, we keep getting distracted by other stuff, so let me give the run down on VP as I see it and I'm sure I'll be wrong because I always am about these things, but whatever.
MOE: Um, I'm interrupting the veepstakes magic 8 ball chat just a sec for an obligatory moment in Geraldine Ferraro, oy she is nuts.

Geraldine Ferraro dismissed the idea in a conversation with me last week - noting that these voters had already voted for an anti-abortion rights Republican before: Ronald Reagan. More, she said, these sophisticated voters know that Democrats will keep control of Congress no matter what, blocking any extremist nominees for the Supreme Court.

Oh yes that is some very sophisticated reasoning Ferraro! If by "sophisticated" you mean impenetrably self-sabotagingly warped!
MEGAN: Oh, right, like how the Dems blocked Alito and Roberts? Fucking a, like, she's literally trying out reasons for them not to vote Obama. WTF is wrong with her. Ok, back to veeps.

MEGAN: Republican: It's not going to be Huckabee, I'll bet he annoys McCain and he's no upside with the fiscal conservatives. McCain might swallow it and pick Romney. He won't take Crist (gay), he won't take Jindal (won't pass vetting, I'd bet), he can't take Rice (those naughty lesbian rumors and all).
MEGAN: Side note: John McCain's campaign has the most high-level gay staff and advisers of any campaign so far this year. Oh, and the Log Cabin Republicans who declined to endorse Bush twice, I have it on good authority, will endorse McCain despite his record on gay issues because he once voted against the federal marriage amendment. But he's still not going to take Crist.
MOE: Don't you think Rice's bigger problem is being, um, friends with Bush?
MEGAN: Not when he needs to appeal to Bush's voters. What, like she and he disagree on Iraq?
MOE: No, see: Bush doesn't have any more voters.
MOE: Seriously, I don't think Tom Davis was hyperbolizing.
MEGAN: Anyway, so I think Pawlenty's definitely on the short list. I think he's vetting Carly Fiorina in the press the way he did Rice.
MEGAN: I don't think he was hyperbolizing, either, but I think McCain's going to have to tack right now that Bob Barr's the libertarian, he's going to pick up $$ and voters.
MOE: And even if he did, it is not a prim black brainy Ferragamo-clad warmonger they were voting for.
MEGAN: And who's left on the right? The 27% of people or so that still actually support Bush, and you gotta know those people are not big McCainiacs.

MEGAN: Anyway, so the other thing that Attackerman were talking about this weekend that would probs make sense in McCain's warped mind was Lieberman. And that would be a pro-war, all-war ticket with this semblance of bipartisanship that I think would totally lose and Liebarman's a shitty VP candidate so that's the one I'm sort of rooting for.

MOE: You know, we never hit Rendell, but the lede is all you need. Rendell is appearing at a rally with Louis Farrakhan. Buzz Bissinger is a city hall reporter from the Philadelphia Inquirer following Rendell for six years because he thinks municipal politicians will actually be able to learn something from the experience of Philadelphia or something.

I was writing a book on Rendell at the time. Allowed into his inner sanctum for close to six years, I found Rendell's stance on Farrakhan important and was eager to hear what he had been thinking during the rally. He did not disappoint: "As I sat there, I said to myself, 'Wouldn't it be great if someone burst in and gunned me down, because then Buzz would at least have an ending to his book.'"

MEGAN: Oh, great, just with this campaign needs, two people who the Republicans can associate with Louis Farrakhan. Also, Rendell got on TV last week and said unequivocally (unlike the rest of the Veepstakes candidates) that he doesn't want the gig because he doesn't like working for other people or trying to spin shit.
MOE: So dude, do you think it will be Jim Webb? And if so, does that mean we have to read his books?
MEGAN: I think if it is, we do, but I don't think it will be. I'm sure he's on the short list, but how do they take a 1st term Senator (from a state where the seat might swing back) with no domestic policy experience who is a former Republican with a shitty record on women's issues and make him Obama's VP in this climate?
MOE: Little known fact: Anna's dad is apparently obsessed with Scot-Irish history. And all I know of the climate is that it is hot. And that fucking Geraldine Ferraro is voting for McCain anyway.
MEGAN: A month ago, sure, I can see him topping out the list, no doubt, but I think the surging supposed feminists (I'm sorry, I ain't calling anyone who is threatening to vote for McCain or write-in Hillary to turn the election over to him an actual feminist) who are pissed at Obama over sexism in the media and among some of his supposed supporters makes it much less likely.
MEGAN: But I think he's on the short list. I know Clinton is, though I'm on record as being confused why she'd give up power in the Senate for what is basically a powerless ceremonial role (And HRC-as-VP people, don't give me "VP is head of the Senate" crap, because that's not how it works, Cheney casts a tie-breaking vote once in a blue and doesn't have any actual power in the institution, look it up, thanks).
MEGAN: McCaskill's seat could go red, my Steve mentioned Landrieu but that's the same deal, ditto Klobuchar. Napolitano hates McCain and would totally attack him, which is good, Sebelius for sure. I'm still feeling like Feingold could be a dark horse but am constantly told that he's too liberal (which is actually the point of taking him), Tim Kaine wants it but he has weird eyebrows. Edwards doesn't, Richardson is grabby with the ladies and, fuck it, he really should just announce a shadow cabinet because there's be someone in there for everyone in the Democratic party and no one would be able to vote against every major Democratic figure.

John Edwards: Classic high-low, the former North Carolina senator accessorizes the $400 haircut with a $10 Livestrong bracelet. Perhaps a subtle nod to "Two Americas"? The red tie indicates: "I am a political candidate."

Joe Biden: Gets the whole "black suit" thing right, but the New England homespun-tie thing (are those little whales?) makes him look like a carpetbagger in N.H. since he's from, ahem, Delaware.

Apparently Bills who become president — you know, like Taft! — are men of appetites, and we bet that if we look a little closer New Mexico governor Bill Richardson's tie might have some stains on it. We hear he likes ladies, and we sense he also likes chalupas, and with the black suit sealing the deal we'd vote for him on the basis of sloppy Clinton nostalgia. Or wait a minute, on the basis of sound immigration policies?

Mike Gravel: Did someone forget to tell former Alaskan senator Gravel that a grumpy face doesn't go with a bright red tie? But still, nice suit! So Alaska elected a Democrat once?

Chris Dodd: Setting himself apart from his fellow candidates, Dodd forgoes the classic politician blue-and-red color scheme for a black suit, white shirt, and black tie. How Lagerfeld! But wait, if we don't know who Chris Dodd is, should he really be spending his money on clothing?

Dennis Kucinich does not have a chance, but he does have a really hot underage wife, who clearly accessorized him for this debate. Still, something about that suit screams "You could vote for me."

Obama goes with the shiny, wide-ish baby blue tie that was a fave of Clinton before being co-opted by Bush II, which is sort of like if Sienna Miller started wearing Burberry plaid again a la circa-1997 Kate Moss. Message: Here is a candidate so "clean" and "bright" he can restore dignity not only to the Democratic Party but to the shiny blue tie! Also: The black suit says "Oval Office Material." Hillary's black suit, incidentally, also says "Oval Office Material" — even if her spruced-up makeup and highlights aren't quite enough to say "getting some in the Oval Office material."

[Images via AP]