After Failing At Jokes, Bill de Blasio Tries Poetry
In today’s Tweet Beat, Bill de Blasio is a poet, AC Slater loves to clean and Gabby Sidibe makes a new friend.
What Was Anyone Thinking Letting Bill de Blasio and Hillary Clinton Joke About 'Colored People Time'?
The conservative Internet is convulsing over a clip of Hillary Clinton and New York Mayor Bill de Blasio making an awkward joke about the mayor running late because he was on “colored people time.” Someone wrote that joke for him to perform. Who the hell thought this was a good idea?
Talking to Chirlane McCray About Mental Health, Voting for Hillary, and Closing Rikers
Since the moment New York Mayor Bill de Blasio took office in 2014, his wife Chirlane McCray has been the object of fascination, controversy, praise, and hundreds of weird tabloid stories. This week, she talked with Jezebel about her ambitious plan to revamp New York City’s mental health services, her support for…
All Four Suspects in Horrific Brooklyn Gang Rape Are Under the Age of 17
Four teenage suspects are in custody in a particularly horrifying gang rape in Brooklyn’s Brownsville neighborhood. An 18-year-old woman was walking in a playground with her father Thursday night when she was attacked by five people. A nearby deli owner told WNBC he refused to let her father use the phone to call for…
I'll Tell You About the High Number of Depressed New Yorkers as Soon as I Can Get Out of Bed
A new report by the New York City Department of Health and the Mayor’s Office says that 1 in 5 New Yorkers have a mental health disorder. I will tell you all about the study as soon as I am finally able to get out of bed.
New York's Pinko Commie Mayor Endorses Hillary Clinton
New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, a “violent revolutionary,” per Glenn Beck, endorsed Hillary Clinton Friday morning on MSNBC. De Blasio was Clinton’s campaign manager in 2000, the first time she ran for Senate. The violent overthrow of all we hold dear: it here.
New York Tabloids Are Very Angry About a 'Topless Toddler' in Times Square
The New York Post and the New York Daily News both need you to know, urgently, about the latest outrage in Times Square: not only are there still topless, body-painted women working for tips in Times Square, but one of them brought a two-year-old, who also didn’t wear a shirt.
Disquieted By Titties, New York Considers Shutting Down Times Square Plazas
Beset by bare bosoms, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio said Thursday he’s considering closing down the pedestrian plazas in Times Square. The plazas—a collection of indescribably filthy metal tables marooned in an island of asphalt—are currently a popular place for exhausted, heat-stroked tourists to sink down as…
Andrew Cuomo Wants Nearly-Naked Topless Performers Out of Times Square
There’s a scourge of topless women plaguing Time Square. The formerly very-un-family-friendly and then very-family-friendly area of New York where tourists flock to see billboards and eat at The Olive Garden has been overrun with with bare-chested painted ladies, and neither NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio or Governor Andrew…
Here's How NYC Celebrated the Women's World Cup Champions
On Friday, New York City dropped approximately two tons of confetti on the reigning Women’s World Cup champions, celebrating their record third World Cup win with the first-ever ticker-tape parade for a female sports team.
Hillary Clinton, non-official presidential candidate, is considering Brooklyn for her non-official campaign office, according to MSNBC. Considering she's friends with Mayor Bill de Blasio, maybe he'll just let her borrow his old house since he and the gang live in Manhattan now? Oh, and if Brooklyn's the most expensive
Can Cops Beat Their 2014 Low Points 9 Days into 2015? They're Trying!
In America, the winter of our discontent—with the police—continues. As New York cops channel their best Carrie Mathison and Cleveland cops battle Ferguson cops to see who can fell more unarmed bodies, Los Angeles cops are doing… something good. And when LA authorities—famous for actions like beating a homeless…
NYPD Wrongly Accuse Mayor's Wife of Wearing Jeans to Cop's Funeral
Things have been exceedingly tense between New York mayor Bill de Blasio and the New York City Police Department following the shooting deaths of Officers Wenjian Liu and Rafael Ramos. After Liu's funeral Sunday, that controversy extended to de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, who NYPD officers accused of wearing…
White Mom Accidentally Gets Black Baby, Stresses Out, Sues Sperm Bank
A white mother in Ohio is suing a sperm bank for accidentally giving her African-American sperm, which led to her having an African-American baby.
Nicki Minaj Wants to Speak to Students, Her Old High School Says 'Nah'
Nicki Minaj’s old high school thinks it’s too good for her. The pop star tweeted that she was snubbed after offering to come back and speak to the current students.
New York Agrees to Pay $40 Million in Reparations to Central Park Five
New York City has reached a settlement with the Central Park Five, the group of men who — in 1989 — were charged with and convicted of the rape and battery of a woman in Central Park, only to be proven innocent and have their convictions overturned years later, after they had served their full sentences. The city has…
Meshell Ndegeocello Has No Interest in Your Little Labels
Guitarist and composer Meshell Ndegeocello is releasing a new album called Comet Come to Me; in a recent interview she questioned society’s labels regarding her sexuality and how those definitions are used to identify not only her but also her music. She's not a fan.
De Blasio Staffer Loses Job for Being a 'Bimbo' Who Dates Eliot Spitzer
Lis Smith handled communications for Bill de Blasio during his campaign and throughout his transition, and was widely expected to join him in the mayor's office. Instead, she was unceremoniously dumped from the job just before the new year. The reason was the public discovery that Smith is in a relationship with…
Chiara de Blasio Reveals Struggles With Addiction and Depression
On Christmas eve, while many people were with their families, the daughter of incoming New York Mayor Bill de Blasio opened up about her past struggles with depression and abusive self-medication. And it was perfectly timed.
Richard Cohen Thinks Interracial Families Make America Want to Barf
Oh, boy. Doddering Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen Has Some Thoughts on Bill de Blasio's family, and how "conventional" America probably reacts to them.
